Monday, March 31, 2014

The Apartment

After Christmas, Julie took me to an apartment block where she lived for six years when she first moved to LA. It's in Hollywood. I got contact details and called the office the following day as soon as they opened. They told me that they had two apartments available, they had a couple view them previously, and one of them was soon to be taken but the couple hadn't signed anything nor paid yet. I rushed over to the place. It was a good 45 minute walk or so from my place. I could've  taken the bus but whatever!

I arrived at the apartment in such a hurry, viewed the two available units, one was on the fourth floor, which is also the top floor and one is on the second. One has a nice view of LA, the other, no view at all, just walls. The apartments are so small as it is, all you need is to see more walls when you look out the window #claustrophopia. I took the one with the view. I had to pay for them to do credit check on me, this, that and the other. They don't accept cash or cheque (check), so I had to walk around some more, in the sun, looking for money order places. When I did find a place that sells money orders, they didn't accept debit orders, so I had to either look for another one or an ATM, I found the latter. The limit was $120! That wasn't gonna work! I called the bank to find out where the nearest one was to me, the lady didn't understand my accent so she couldn't be of much help. I found another money order place, they charged a ridiculous amount for using debit cards. I was like heck no! I eventually found another ATM, that charged the same as the money order place, I had walked too much and was hot and tired. I remembered that all they wanted was just some money to ensure that I wanted the place, it didn't even have to be the full deposit. I had some money in my wallet from my salary that  I was going to deposit at the bank later, I added that to the money I had withdrawn and paid the deposit and some of the rent money and told them I would pay the rest when I went to collect the key. By the time I got back, they had already done the credit check. I just had to pay for it. They interviewed me, looked at  my application, All was in order, I got the place. I WAS SO HAPPY! That was one of my happiest moments in this country! My own apartment, with my own name on the lease! It was a huge achievement to me! I was so happy, I gave the manager a hug. She was so sweet and so cool throughout. They told me I would get the key on the last day of December. I didn't want to move on New year's day, so I asked them what the earliest I could move in was, she told me a few days before the end of the year, she was pretty cool there, because they didn't charge me for those days.

I headed Speed's. On my way home, I called my bff from New Jersey. I told her the good news, my friend from Ontario who I love, the two of them are my rock here and Julie who had helped hook me up with the place. I got home, rested a little bit and started packing. Speed hadn't been spending that much time at home, he was working left, right and centre. Thank goodness! I wasn't going to let anything happen to dampen my spirit. I was in cloud nine and I intended to keep it that way. I was only at his one or two more nights after Christmas and I was gone! I didn't have any furniture so I didn't have to worry about that. I decided to go cheap or go home! I went cheap! I came to pay rent and collected the key one afternoon. I walked around the neighborhood to see what's up. I was psyched! I had the key in my very hand! I walked to Food 4 Less, they have fried chicken over there. KFCesque. I used to have it when I lived in San Diego with Perry. I got some and some rolls and came back to the apartment. I hung out over here, munched on the chicken. So not worth it! And I had bough 8 pieces! The plan was to live on that for the first few days at the apartment. If you know me, you will know I am not big on cooking. I put all that in the fridge. The apartment comes with a kitchenette with a stove and fridge, I have a microwave. All I needed was a bed. After munching away, it was late, I was tired, I lay down on the floor and woke up the following morning around 1. I spend the rest of the night at the apartment.

The following day, I walked around looking for a bed. That was really all I needed. It was hot out, winter, but still hot! Southern California for ya! I was looking for a small bed and maybe a sleeper couch in case I end up having to have a roommate. I found a small bed and a fold up bed. Perfect! I bought both, they would deliver for me at a fee, I am three blocks away from them, so that wasn't much of a schlep. They also had bedding for my beds, new sheets, fitted, flat and a pillow. They had pillows across the street. I got all I wanted at a go. I have my comfy cashmere blanked that I got from the Queen Latifah show and a sleeping bag I bought in Utah. I couldn't be more set. I waited a few minutes for the driver, he dropped me off and helped me to the elevator. He left. I pushed my stuff to my apartment. Fortunately these beds are so small, I was able to carry them one by one to the apartment. The last bed I bought was my custom made king size bed in South Africa. This was a major upgrade (NOT). It's comfortable nonetheless.

I got home, set everything up, tried out the bed and woke up the following morning around 3. While I was still setting up, I got a call from Speed. He told me he misses me. He asked if I was ok and where I was. I told him I was ok, I was looking for a place to stay, OBVIOUSLY! Where else would I be, I had been given a week to leave his place, I had to act fast. I may have mentioned that I might not be back that night. He texted me an hour later asking me if I would mind if he let his friend, conveniently an ex of his, crash on the couch that night. He was like, she got herself into some kind of a situation with her boyfriend, she really needs a place to crash tonight. I told him that he had told me no friends allowed, so he should know what the answer to that question was as he had set the rules. He told me that she was desperate, he never would have asked me if it weren't that dire. I was like, so it's not ok when I want to chill with my girl friends in the daytime but it's ok when he wants to shag his girlfriend. He told me they are not together, she is with someone else blah blah blah. I was like Speed please! You know you want to take advantage of this girl now that she is nice and vulnerable, that woman is not going to sleep on the couch, you tell me that because you don't want me to come home tonight, so I don't disturb you guys. You have kicked me out, in a matter of days I will officially out, hold your horse until then. For now, NO! If I can't have guests, neither can you. He was like I should have known you were gonna say no. This woman is here right now, but I will check her into a hotel if you don't want her here. I told him not to make it seem as if I am the bad person here, he made the rules, I am just playing along. I suggested he follow her to the hotel, seeing as he will be paying.
Paying my left n*t. He knows he can't even afford his own place, what's he talking about checking an ex girlfriend into a hotel. N word please!

The following morning, I was up early. I had a ton of stuff to move by bus. I told you I went cheap! I bought a day's bus pass and did three trips. When I got to Speed's that morning, he was like, I owe you! You were right, I can't have that woman here. She would've taken advantage of me and I wouldn't have been able to say no and before you know it, she and I would have been back together just like that. I was like, dude, please! I am moving out! I don't care! You don't have to lie to me about your sex life. Soon, I will be a no factor in your life. He went on and on, attention seeking about something that's based on nothing. Then he asked me what's up on my side, what have I been up to. I told him absolutely nothing. He asked what I am doing, with luggage in my hands, on my way to the door, I told him, 'nothing, just chilling!' and walked out. Around midday, I was doing my last trip. Speed was home. Again, he asked what I was doing, I told him nothing really. He was like, Brook, you're obviously moving out, where are you moving to? Have you found a place? I told him that's something he should have thought of before he gave me a  week's notice to move out because he wants to have sex with his ex. 'She's not the reason I am kicking you out. I will not even have a roommate once you move out. I am so done with roommates, blah blah blah' Kiss my s, Speed, I don't buy it!

As I was about to walk out, a few minutes before the bass came, he told me he wasn't going to let me carry all that stuff by myself, he'd be damned. How Romantic! Seeing as that was my load, and he was there the entire time I was moving, much much heavier stuff, now all of a sudden he was concerned about my well being, now that I was really leaving and wouldn't tell him where I was gong. He was curious! He wanted to see where I was moving to. I told him, I was ok, thanked him for the offer and went on my merry way. As I walked out, he rushed to the car and waited for me there. I didn't care. He called and was like, come on! Let's go, I'm waiting for you! What a psychopath! To think that that man was weird from the first time I met him when he tried to give me a kiss till the very last moment I saw him! Gosh! I ignored him and just left, he ran towards the stairs, where I was headed, gave me a long, gross hug. I was so ready to leave, ugh! He then tried to kiss me in the mouth, EEEEEEEeeeeeeewwwwwwWWWW!















Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Hollywood Sign

I spent Christmas eve with Julie. Then hung out at her place that night. We went over to my place to get my laptop so we could play music. We had a nice time, getting to know each other. Her boyfriend got home late that night. He was out of town for a week. Cute guy. He looks like a beautiful girl. So cute! We all hung out and talked. Later that night, BF went to sleep. Julie was cooking, I dozed off on the couch. When she was done cooking, she told me I didn't have to go home that night, I could just crash on the couch. I did just that. It was late, I was half asleep.

I left early the following morning for mine. Everyone was still asleep by 7am. I was up around 5 or so, so it was already late morning for me. I decided to go home to freshen up. I texted Julie that I had left. I told her to let me know when she was ready for me to go back. I saw some tourists from Canada on Hollywood Boulevard, on my way home. They were so excited, taking pictures, etc. They asked for directions to the hollywood sign. I felt like such the tourist when I gave the directions. They asked what else they could do on the boulevard, and they wanted to see Michael Jackson's Star. Of course, I know where that is, I have taken a picture on it!

Speaking of the Hollywood Sign, a week prior, before I quit my job, Speed told me he wanted to do things with me, as usual. First he brought me Roses. This was after I snapped and asked him, as someone who is trying to get in a relationship with me, what has he done to woo me. He brought me those the following day. It was an awkward moment. He first called on his way home to ask if I was going to  be available to go out for dinner that night. He had just gotten money from the lawyer from the car accident. I didn't care because that morning on his way there he flipped out about not wanting my South American friend over at his house because he hates Mexicans and has nothing in common with them. Anyway, when he called, I told him that I was tired and was going to bed. He was like, 'well, I guess I will have to keep these roses for myself'. I guess that was his way of telling me that he had planned a romantic evening for us. Who cares? I was like ok, bye.I didn't know what to say. For someone who had been married three times, he sure didn't know how to get into a woman's pants.

He came home with the two roses, the highest number of roses I ever got is 18, but who's counting? He looked me deep in the eye when he got home, handed me the flowers and tried to get himself a kissy in the process. I ducked, thanked him for the roses and overreacted. I had to, I was underwhelmed by the act. It was inappropriate. Who brings their roommates, who they fight with all the time about everything red roses?
He put them in a vase and set them next to my laptop. I let them sit there until they died, then I threw them away, washed his vase and put it away. Nothing changed. After the roses, when I told him that I wasn't available to go out to dinner, he told me that I owed him an outing in the daytime when I wasn't tired.

Whenever I would leave to do something with friends, he would complain that I still haven't gone out with him. he came out with the brilliant idea to take me to the Hollywood sign, knowing that I had never been. I wasn't psyched that he was going to take me there. I would have rather go with someone I care about or by myself. He is a tour guide so he goes there all the time with tourists. He asked to take me to the lake for a picnic and to the sign, I agreed under duress. We were to do that on a Sunday. He reminded me that night. The following morning, after workm I had to go downtown straight from work to run an errand, he texted me and told me that he hoped I wasn't going to be too tired when I got home because we were going out that morning like it or not. I wanted to die.

I was like, you know what I am just going to do this and get it over and done with. After that I was never to agree to anything, come rain...! I got home looking like a zombie, he even told me I looked like sh*t then asked if I was ready to go. I told him, yep! He was like, do you need to freshen up? I said, I'm tired, let's get this over and done with. He is so shameless, he didn't even care that I talked like that. We went to the car, he drove off. There were some special homes and sights on the way to the Hollywood signs, he talked to me about all those, would slow down for me to take pictures, I didn't give a sh*t, I just wanted to get the whole thing over and done with. He was in such high spirits, he was singing along to music playing in the CD. We finally arrived at the spot, he parked his car and showed me a house that Madonna used to live in across from the hollywood Sign, I took a picture of that. I took a few pictures of the statue, he took a few pictures of me. I looked around and smiled, taking it all in. He said, 'I am glad I am the reason you smiled. This is the first time you smiled in three days.' I don't know why he's counting. He was the main reason I was miserable!

He didn't even get that I didn't want to go there or anywhere with him for that matter. Anyway, soon, we drove back home. He told me to count myself lucky that I had him to do that for me, he doesn't do that for everyone and people pay big money to go there. Blah blah blah. I thanked him for taking me there. On our way home, his phone rang. He was vague talking on it. As we entered the gate to the apartment, there was a lady waiting there. He approached the car. He went, 'Hi!' Told me bye, he had to go somewhere. Basically he dropped me off outside the gate and went on his merry way with the smiling lady. I was praying, please Lord, let this be his girlfriend!

He soon came back, an hour or so later. Dang it!

So the morning after the night he tried to watch tv and I asked him to lower the volume, Speed left for work. He called me as soon as he left the apartment and asked me to move out at the end of the month. I said ok and hung up.

I was still up When he got home that night. I knew he was going to wanna talk about it. I didn't. He would only want to do it to clear his conscience anyway, not because he felt bad to having hurt my feelings, which he didn't. He said the most famous last lines, 'Look! Brook!' F*^k! I wanted to die. This is not working out. I think for the same amount you're paying here, you can find yourself a private room where you can make as much noise as you want and not wake anybody up. When he was trying to sell me the place before I moved in, he told me I would never find a deal like that anywhere else. All of a sudden, I could? B*tch please! He was like, now that you are no longer working and your system is out of whack from working nights, It's hard for me to get a good night's sleep. This makes me grumpy at work, I yelled at a tourist today! Can you believe it? I wasn't even looking at him. It's hard for me to make eye contact with someone who disgusts me. I was focusing on my phone, doing nothing. Could you put the phone down for a minute? Sure, what? wrap it up, I need to go to sleep, plus I need to be nice and fresh tomorrow cos I have to find a place to stay in a week. He went on about how it wasn't working out blah blah blah. When he was done yapping, I bade him good night and went to sleep.

I walked home Christmas morning. Took a nap, freshened up and set aside Julie's Christmas gift for later. Speed got ready for work. Just before he left, he wished me a Merry Christmas and told me to look under the sofa, maybe Santa left me something there. I was like, what kind of a joke is that, I'm not doing that! He insisted and left, so of course I checked. There was a wrapped up gift with my name on it. I couldn't believe Speed got me a gift. I didn't get him anything. Dude just kicked me out a few days prior! I wondered when he could have gotten the gift.  Before or after he kicked me out? I called and told him I couldn't accept it. He was like come on, it's the least I can do. You don't have any family here, I had to do something. Come to think of it, it would have been nicer if he had gotten gifts for his kids that he hasn't seen in forever instead of a middle aged, random African woman who won't give him the time of day. Anyway, I was like screw it! Opened the box up. There were lottery tickets in there, the scratch kind, I didn't win any money. Only two more scratch cards which I have to claim by mailing those cards back. I have yet to do that. There was also a box of Dark Chocolates in there, two layers of chocolate. It was nice of him, I guess.

Around 8pm. I got a call from Julie. She told me that everyone was at the party, I could go over. Speed was back. He had promised to make me the most amazing dinner that Christmas but I told him I had plans. He was disappointed when he learnt of my plans cos he had bought all kinds of Christmas; food like a huge turkey and everything else. Unfortunately, he hadn't asked if I was available so it's what it is. He ended up not cooking. Also to retaliate, he told me that he was going to have a friend over to spend Christmas over at the apartment with him cos he didn't make plans with his other friends thinking that He and I were going to have a nice quiet Christmas at the apartment alone. It's like this man was living in his own little bubble. He was clueless as to the reality that is my life that was happening right before his very blue eyes.
That night I asked Speed to drop me off, it's 2 minutes away. I really didn't feel like walking again. He was like, you know there are cabs right outside the apartment that you can hire to take you anywhere you want. I was like, Really? Thanks for telling me that, let me go get one right now. Thanks so much, Merry Christmas! *ss hole. My sweet friend Julie has been trying to hook me up with someone since we met. I told her I like White guys. She decided to have a black and a white guy at the party for me to choose from. Sweet, right?

I arrived there and found Julie, her girl friend, Julie's man, his friend, his other friend, the one Julie was trying to hook me up with. I had met him previously, she asked what I thought of him. He's ok. I believe he's bisexual. I would like a straight guy next time for a change. Spotty was Bisexual. He was never with any men while we were together, but just knowing that he swung both ways was slightly bothersome. A few other of my exes were that way too. That's a whole another blog! Julie's other friend, a musician, was there with his son. He's the black one. People had already been drinking for about two hours and smoking the green stuff by the time I got there. They were listening to music off of The girl friend's iPhone. We all sat around the dining room table and got to know each other. The friend I had met before, asked if I wanted to go to the balcony to smoke. I told him I was good, thanks. He told me he likes girls who smoke weed.Obviously I wasn't his type then! The GF was like, I'll smoke weed with you! They went out, smoked, came back made out in the kitchen. They made out all night long until it was time to leave around 1am. Scratch that guy off my list of prospects. The musician? Nah thanks.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

What Ever Happened To The American Dream?

It was already halfway through December. The 'industry' was about to shut down for the festive season. I was looking forward to more work in January having just signed up with one more casting company. I got more leads from friends and signed up with more. Some require you to pay a registration, some a monthly fee, some both. You do what you have to to get where you wanna, which is what I did and still continue to do.

I was busy looking for another place to stay, story of my life. Nothing solid was coming up on that side. I was also looking for a job, part time, full time, whatever! I prayed for a nice, smooth Christmas, where I wasn't going to feel molested both at home and at work. It's sad when people have to pray for that. That should come naturally at this day in age, especially in a first world country like America. Whatever happened to the American Dream?

Julie, my half Nigerian, half American friend had invited me to spend Christmas with her and her Russian Boyfriend. I was honored that even though we didn't know each other that well, she felt comfortable enough to invite me over her place. Thank goodness I wasn't going to be stuck with Speed that day. My other option would have been to work that day. Neither of them were as fun as spending it with a new friend and meet more new people.

Week before Christmas, I took a day off from work. I was so tired, and really not up to going to work, I felt lie crap. I sent Client a text excusing myself. I sent it around lunch time. I was supposed to be at work at 8pm. I gathered he had enough time to find a replacement. He always checked his messages, I mean the guy is bedridden, he does everything within that room. Of course he went for 'walks' on his chair in the day time, they would take him out etc, which was nice and therapeutic.

That night, around 8pm, I got a text from him telling me that he only just saw my text, he wasn't impressed that I didn't think to call to tell him that I wasn't going to show up that night, he told me that in future, I should call. Apparently, he couldn't find someone to fill in for me. I didn't buy that someone who was always on his phone didn't check his phone for 7 hours. I went back to work the following. After taking a day off, I felt what it would be like not to go to work again. I really had to think hard before going back the following day but I did. Plus, I had one more day's work before payday. Alas that was to be after my two off days. If I was going to get paid, I had to work until payday, get paid and then think about quitting. That night, the night after I took a day off, Client told me that he though I was still mad at him from the night he wouldn't let me leave early. I just smiled in response. He asked if we were ok, I told him of course not! He asked me never to scare him like that again. Apparently, because I am always smiling, he automatically assumed that I was a robot that had no opinions and feelings. I smiled in response to that too.

The following morning, he told me that I had changed. I asked him how, he told me that since that argument, I wasn't that smiley, chirpie Brook he knew. Well beau, that's what happens when you take someone for granted! You see a different side of theirs, one that you might not like. He told me that the other aides yell at him when they are mad, they tell him how they feel, he wasn't sure where he stood with me. I told him that I was there to work and not to show my feelings, I put my feelings aside when I am at work. I am not there to show people where they stand with me. I don't have that privilege.  While I am at work, I have to do what I am supposed to do. If I am not happy with how things are at work, then I will remove myself. I told him that I am not one to change people and how they do things. People should be themselves, if I am happy with how they are, great, if not, then I remove myself to the situation, it's that simple. They will find someone who is into the kind of person they are, or not but I can only control myself, and how I handle things. He told me he was very happy with my professionalism and wished his other colleagues had the same thought process. Well.... good luck with that, I'm on my way out!

I got a call from Jen, she was just checking on me. Conversation went something like:
Jen: Hey, how are you doing?
Me: Good, thanks, you?
Jen: Ok thanks, how are things with the new roommate?
Me: Ok thanks
Jen: Have you slept with him yet?
Me: What's that got to do with anything?
Jen: I'm just asking, remember I predicted you were going to?
Me: I haven't slept with him.
Jen: I thought you liked him? How's work? Have you quit yet?
Me: No, why do you have to expect the worst out of everything?
Jen: It's not that I am expecting the worst but I know you. You are always moving and changing jobs.
Me: But you don't even know me. I only had one other place to stay when I moved here which didn't work out and one job.
Jen: I don't believe that things are good
Me: Well, I can't help you there, gotta go. Bye!
Click

It's like she didn't call to check up on me, she just wanted to see if she was right about her lousy predictions. I wasn't interested.

I had my two days off at work, then it was Friday, Payday. Only I got paid the following morning, Saturday. At the end of my shift. Client called thirty minutes before I arrived. I didn't pick up. He sent me a text asking what time to expect me at work. I am always on time. I didn't understand why he felt the need to call to ask. I got there just before 8. He seemed relieved to see me. He told me he didn't think I was going to be back at work. And not get paid? Are you joking? I just smiled.

I worked my last night in peace, knowing it was the last supper. The following morning, he almost forgot to pay me. Good thing I kept saying to myself, 'don't forget to get paid!' My check wasn't even with the rest of them, maybe he really didn't think I was going to be back. Which is strange, did he think if I didn't return, I wouldn't want to get paid for the days I worked? Anyway, I got paid. When I left, he went, 'see you tonight?' I replied, 'bye!' knowing that was it. I was done.

That day, around noon, I sent him a text, 'hi XXX, I will not be coming back to work. Brook.' I wasn't going to call him, I had lost all respect for this pervert of a man, I sent him a text that was courteous enough. I didn't want him stranded that night, expecting me to show up. Plus I didn't want him reporting me to the department of health for neglect. He never responded to my text. I didn't care.

I slept all day that day, I had been so tired from working day and night. I was up early the following day. Around 3am. I watched some tv shows on the laptop. There is a lot of light in Speed's apartment, everything has a light bulb in it. If it didn't come that way, he puts one in there. All his clocks have light in or around them. I had trouble sleeping in there, especially in the daytime, when the body isn't really up for it. No pun intended. I would sometimes unplug the switch of the Living room clock's light just to make it a little dimmer in the room but he would turn it on as soon as he got back home, he didn't care. He wouldn't ask why I had it off, which was obvious plus I had mentioned at some point that I liked the room dark when I went to sleep. He promised me a totally different living arrangement to what I got when he found out I wasn't going to sleep with him. You would swear I wasn't paying rent there. He was so obsessed with whether or not I was going to sleep than the fact that I was there as a paying tenant and that should matter more and he had an obligation to treat me with respect and to at least try to make me feel comfortable. It's not like I was expecting him to turn off all the lights while he was asleep and he liked the lights on, no. This is in the daytime, a time he is supposed to be at work, seeing as he had told me he had a job when I moved in. Next thing he made it his full time job to obsess over me.

He is the type of person who goes to a room just after you and turns the light off if you left in on or vice versa. If you open the window, he will close it and or vice versa. If you drink water in the kitchen and leave the glass by the side of the sink, he will put it back in the cupboard, regardless of whether you are going to be back to use it again. If I am busy on the laptop in the kitchen, or whatever, and I leave the light on because I am going to the bathroom, when I go back, the light's been switched off. He has the coldest apartment in all of Southern California, he walks around in two sweaters, jeans and sneakers all day, all night. His heater wasn't working, so he would turn the stove on in the kitchen to heat up the apartment. The kitchen is a separate room, so the stove took forever to heat the rest of the apartment. He had the stove really low too cos he's saving gas.

If I am home alone, cold and turn on the stove, then doze off on the couch, I would wake up freezing, cos he got home, turned off the stove and left. It's like are you freaking kidding me? But when he is at home, he sleeps with the stove on.

My first morning after quitting my job, Speed woke up mad. He told me that he hardly slept that night because I was busy on the computer. I asked him what about my using the computer woke him up. He told me it was the clicking of the keys, only I was watching a tv show, so I am not sure what keys he was talking about. I had my earphones on, so there was no sound plus heellooooo, you're hard hearing! What are you talking about? I think because he saw that I was on the computer in the middle of the night, and not in his bed sucking him off or whatever fantasies he had about the two of us, he got mad and wanted to pick a fight. He didn't hear anything cos even if there was something to hear, he is hard hearing, he wouldn't have heard it, but he assumed that if I was on the computer, I must have been typing, so he was going to complain about that.

I told him that he had told me that he is not a light sleeper and seeing as how much light there already is in the entire apartment, I didn't think the light from my laptop was going to disturb him plus I like my screen really dark, so it didn't really add anymore light to the already well lit apartment. He was very emotional, he went on and on, he gets quite worked up #AngerIssues. I got pissed off and told him that the problem was not with what I was doing, it was the fact that at 56 years old, he can't afford his own place to stay and has to share a studio apartment with random people and this time, he found one who refuses to sleep with him. He is bitter over that and can't get over it like he promised he would if I wasn't willing to be in a relationship with him when I first moved in. He was lying then, trying to impress me about how much of a gentleman that he was ok with whether or not I was going to date him. Unfortunately, none of that worked, I wasn't interested in him. He is the least attractive person I have ever met in my life, both physically and otherwise.  He told me that that was rude and uncalled for. There was no need for me to attack him like that, I am the most rudest, most cruel person he has ever met in his life. I added that that was because I wouldn't sleep with him. If I had agreed to be his concubine, he wouldn't see any of those characters in me.

He had begged me to quit my job and now that I had, my first night home, he wasn't happy. There was no pleasing that man. Imagine if I had quit because of him!

Christmas Eve, Julie asked if I wanted to tag along while she ran errands. I was like sure, any reason to get the heck out of this place! The industry was closed the the year, I had nothing to do to keep myself busy. We met up on Hollywood Boulevard and headed south, she had a few things she needed to do. I just tagged along. I went home nice and tired that night and ready for bed. Speed got home around 10pm and watched tv. He shifted my feet on the couch and sat to watch tv. He had the tv on full blast, That woke me up as the tv is right in front of the couch where I slept. He watched TV until around 2 the following morning. He did that for the next few nights,probably out of spite. He is very catty. I woke up early that morning and went to use the PC in the dining room space of the kitchen. God forbid I should wake him up from his beauty sleep. He complained again the following day,about how loud I was moving around the apartment at 2am. I was like Speed, please, STOP IT! You went to bed around two, how could I have woken you up when you yourself only went to bed that time?

That night, he was in a good mood / romantic mood smdh. He asked that we watched a movie together. I told him I was tired, plus I'm a grandma, I go to bed early. He watched by himself, left to buy weed, came home, smoked and watched some more, it was very late by then, I had such a headache from lack of sleep. It was kinda like being at Man's, he used to get home around 1am too, turn on all the lights, the tv, have it on full blast and smoke weed. I felt cursed that I ended up in a similar situation to what I thought I had run away from. I asked Speed to lower the volume. He told me that it was low. How can you argue with a hard hearing person about something like volume? What was low to him was still very high to me,especially late at night, when it's quiet outside. He got pissed off and turned the tv off and went to bed breathing very heavily. He was fuming!