Saturday, May 10, 2014

Russian Roulette

Day after I accepted the money from Jon, the new roommate. The other guy texted to find out if the place was still available. I told him it was taken. Turns out, he would have taken it!

One of the guys who came to view was part French, part Spanish, part LordKnowsWhat, cute as hell. He was a tad bit taller than me. He also had a nice vibe about me. He was my first choice. Unfortunately, he had a few other places to view before making a commitment. He sat on the spare bed, we got to know each other a little bit. I was mesmerised by his beauty. He has long-ish hair, just the right length, green/hazel eyes and the most amazing skin. You know how hot mixed people are! I texted him the following day, he still had one more place to view. He texted me later on, telling me he found a place. He went with a studio that turned out to be in my apartment building. 'We are neighbors! You should come over for coffee or something!' He said. I had mixed feelings about that. I have a hot neighbor, yay to that! But then, I was screwed cos I just lost what could have been an amazing roommate. #ItIsWhatItIs

As you well know, I found a roommate, Jon. He happens to be from the same town Handsome is from. Five hours away from Los Angeles. I told Handsome this, we'll call him James. He was excited, he wanted to meet him. I told Jon this, he was like, 'I think I have reached the limit of straight guys. I don't need to meet any more straight guys!' Awkward. I even tried to get Jon to share some of his weed with James. He was like, man, you must like this guy, weed is expensive, I'm not sharing it with some guy, just cos you wanna bone him. That wasn't the case, I am not the girl for meaningless sex. Meaningless what? Sex? What's that? At this point, I don't even know what that is and how it's performed. I hope it's just like riding a bicycle - Mind you, I don't know how to ride a bicycle. No pun intended.

James and I chatted for the first few days until he settled in. Then the conversation fizzled. I think we mutually forgot about each other. I kept going to TV shows. Judge Judy, who I adore. If you watch the show, you may have seen me on some of the episodes, Dr Phil, Arsenio Hall, Queen Latifah, Chelsea Lately, to name a few and a whole bunch of sitcoms. I saw and met a lot of celebs I have watched over the years over there. One who sticks out is the black guy from Felicity and Scrubs, Donald Faison, Seth Green, Nick Lachey (Jessica Simpson's ex hubby)'s wife, Vanessa Lachey, she is a tv host. I got to talk to her, she loved my big, afro hair. Gorgeous girl, but I'm team Jessica All the way. What can I say? I love her shoes and bags, nail polishes etc. Don't judge me, I shop at Ross!

One morning, After having been with one casting network for almost a month and not having been booked the entire month by them, I saw a notice for a rush call. A rush call is when they need people on set within an hour of sending out the notice. They had a phone number in the email which I called. They booked me on the spot. It paid good too. I was excited. the shoot was an hour away. I jumped into the showed and rushed out the door. It was for a commercial. I got there nice and early but not as early as he hundreds of people who got there before me. No electronics, please leave them in your car. Sure, will do! Only, I don't have a car! They kept preaching how they were not kidding, they would kick us out of we were caught with cellphones on us. Sht. I went and kid mine where the sun don't shine. Use your imagination!

I went back to the line looking ever so guilty. I needed my cell and I wasn't going to hide it under a random tree or a rock and break it. Plus, I didn't know anyone on set that day even though there were hundreds of people. Eventually, I cracked up a conversation with some girl who is 'one of the few original LAers' Like I care. I'm an original African 'American', so what? Anyway, I guess she is proud of that. She told me that they had very strict security, they found cellphones in people's crotches and shoes the previous day and they kicked them away. Sht! They're definitely going to find mine. I need this gig and I need to keep working with these people. She told me I could just tell the staff that I took the bus, they would hold my cell for me. Turns out a lot of people did that. For some reason, the lady forgot to mention that when she was busy threatening us about getting fired. I left my phone with them #whew

They searched us thoroughly and put us on buses to a secret location. That location was The Santa Monica Airport. There were 1 300 of us, I was told. Count em! That's a lot of freaking people! We got into some hall, they did sound check. Some people had already been there the previous day. It was a three day shoot. An Italian girl I was standing next to had been there the previous day. She asked if I knew who was performing. I was like performing? I thought this was a commercial! She was like yeah, that's what they tell everyone but it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone on social media or anything like that. It's Youtube. I was like Youtube? Yeah, Youtube! Ah ok. I guess she meant it was a Youtube commercial.

We were there for what could have been an hour when a short guy with glasses came onto the stage. I was asking myself, who is this short man with attitude, could it be Pitbull? I looked closely, OMG It's Bono from U2! (Youtube, get it? Damn Italian Accent!). I was so excited, my day couldn't get any better. We got to hang out with Oprah's friend, what! When the people around me saw how excited I was, they told me I could move closer to the stage, they didn't mind, they had been there the previous day. They all but a couple who made out the entire day, didn't mind. So I got to watch U2 sing and that couple make out all day long. all in a day's work! U2 was doing a video of their song Invisible. By the end of the day, we all knew the lyrics to it haha. Check it out on youtube and know that I was there :). It officially debuted during the Superbowl so it was a big deal, hence the secrecy.

He had this swing like mic that he would hold onto and swing towards the crowd, when he did, I made sure to spank his ass haha. When he got back on stage, he said, I felt something in my ass. I was like that was me boo haha. I got to spank him a few times. I am not not gonna touch Bono in what could be my only chance of doing so, sorry. I've come too far not to take advantage of that. It was an awesome day, they fed us good, there were bagels and coffee (which I don't drink), snacks, fruit and warm lunch. They did good for a company that was feeding more than a thousand people.

Lunch time, we all went out. I had my lunch, then on my way to get a piece of fruit, a really cute guy came to me looking ever so excited! He game me a hug, I knew I must have died and gone to heaven. Listen, I am pretty lucky in general but not that lucky! I blinked hard, to see if I was dreaming and realised, I wasn't. It was James! Dude is fine as hell! It's the kind of beauty you don't get used to. He was booked for the same gig! I knew he was an actor but I mean, I didn't expect to see him there. It was nice to see him. He asked how I got there. By bus of course. He drives so he offered to give me a ride that night. I told him not to wait up because there were so many people there, we could lose each other and I didn't want him waiting forever for me. I could just take the bus back. He told me where he was parked. He was going to wait for me for ten minutes from wrap up time, then leave. That was the deal.

I went back in after lunch, his group was sitting outside. It was freezing cold. January, still winter. They had heaters though, so they were well taken care of.

We wrapped up around ten pm. It was a very long day. Call time was around 6am. During lunch, I met a nice Russian lady. We got on like a house on fire. We ended up hanging out together inside, talking about all kinds of things, and men. She told me I have to go out on 100 dates before I find the one. She challenged me to go on all the dating sites I could think off and search, search, search. If I did, she told me, I could get married by the end of 2014. Not one to back down for a challenge, I went, YOU'RE ON, BTCH!

That night, Russian Roulette and I went out. She has  a car but everyone is packed by the beach where we were supposed to meet up in the morning, they were going to take us back there in buses. That's where I was going to meet James. They had our cellphones. We had to wait in line forever. Well, I waited in line while Russian Roulette was collecting all the left over food, sticking it in huge bags that she had brought with her. I was so embarrassed for her. I turned a blind eye. What was I gonna do? As soon as I got my cellphone back, an hour after we wrapped, I already knew James must have left, I just wanted to call and tell him, I would be fine. The bus from Santa Monica to Downtown LA, via Hollywood operates 24/7. I was going to be ok. As soon as I turned my phone on, he called. He had left me messages telling me he was waiting for me. I wasn't sure what time he had left them because, well, my phone isn't that cool. It only shows the time you turn the phone as the time the message came through, that's it.

I took the call, he told me he was still waiting for me. This was more than an hour and a half after we finished up. He was the first group to leave, I felt so bad that he had to wait for me. It was very nice of him. Of course, I was the last one to get dropped off. Murphy's Law. He had heated up the car, it was nice and warm inside. It was much colder outside, it being midnight and right by the beach and all. I got on the car and couldn't help but stare at him. I thought to myself, maybe I could follow him to his room and thank him 'properly'...