Monday, March 09, 2015

Vegas Wedding?



Hair before I washed the dye out
What is happening right now? Are we really gonna do this? I've only seen this guy in pictures, we haven't even talked on the phone. Not that anybody talks on the phone anymore. Phone calls are for telemarketers. I ran around in circles, talk about a headless chicken! I finally peeped through the window to see if he was really there. He was! He looked a tad bit shorter than he did in pictures. Ok, maybe a little more than a tad bit, he looks tall in pictures and is short in real life. There! I said it! But we've made a commitment, we're doing this, short guy or not. Who knew I of all people would marry a short guy? No offence to short guys but I like what I like.

I walked out the door with my hair still full of hair dye. I hadn't washed it yet. I hadn't got into the full swing of things in Vegas. I hadn't noticed how ashy I was getting, especially in the morning. I have no idea why, but I would wake up with my legs looking as white as snow, as if I hadn't applied any lotion the previous day after my shower. It's Vegas, baby! Welcome to the desert! I put on a random outfit because mama doesn't wear any clothes around the house. I walked out towards my future groom sssssllloooowwwllllyyyyy but ssuurreelly. At least it seemed like I was taking forever to get to him. I didn't know what he would think now that we are seeing each other in person. I wasn't looking my best, CLEARLY! I hadn't showered yet and my hair was in the process of getting done, but I didn't care. I wasn't self conscious or anything. Why should I? Take it or leave it!

He was like, "heeeeyyyy!" I was like, hiiiii, how are you? I can't believe you came! We chatted for a little bit. He asked me where I wanted to go, like, you know, to hang out. Hang out? The f*ck is this dude talking about? This is my wedding day, hotdamnit! I am not hanging out on my wedding day, are gonna do this or not? Haha. I asked him why he came? He told me he thought it was about time we finally met. I asked him what about the proposal. He said, 'Don't you think it's too soon to get married?' NO, I DON'T! CLEARLY, I DON'T. THAT'S WHY I SAID LET'S DO IT! DUH! He had this calm about him though, that made you just wanna hang round him and get to know him. He had this vibe that made me feel safe and that whether we got married that day or not, I was going to be his one and only. He is younger than me but is an old soul. Plus, he has blue eyes ;) I tried to hint that we should grow his hair but he can't. He's a security guard, he has to have his short and as I got to know him, I found out, he thinks he's a cop, so he does things as cops do, so hey! Meaning, not only am I settling for a short guy, I will also have to do without my long hair. Ain't life a bitch?

We sat on the side of the road and talked forever! My legs were getting ashier by the minute. I had to say something. You know when you're so self conscious about something, it's the only thing on your mind and you think that's all people see when they look at you? I didn't want this guy thinking I'm an ashy ass slob. I have dry skin, but goddamnit, I'm never ashy! They got worse when I sat on the pavement.
Notice the ash on my leg! I'm telling you, it was bad!
 I felt like I was six again. He's closer to six than my real age, so, in a weird way, it all worked out haha.

He offered to take me out for brunch but of course I wasn't ready for any of that. I needed to finish doing my hair! Ugh, I sound like a broken record! Eventually, I let him go. He was going to sleep. He worked nights. I, well, you know what I needed to do by now. #BrokenRecord. We had a mini photo-shoot outside my place on the bike before he left.







 went back to my place thinking to myself, 'what just happened?' As you may know by now, that is the story of my life. I constantly go through experiences that make me go, what just happened. It's not a good or bad thing, it's just a thing. He texted me when he got home that it was nice to meet me blah bah blah. He lived about three miles away from me (just under 5km). He said we should meet up again. He followed that text with a dick pic. I thought to myself, does this guy have split personality or what? WTF is going on here? This is not the same guy  I hung out with for two hours just now! I guess, like most people, he has guts when he's behind his phone screen. I told him if he didn't stop sending me his dick pics, I was going to block his ass. Or his dick, haha, whichever came first. #CockBlocking.

He would never apologise for sending these pics, he always had a 'valid' reason why he did it. He continued to text me about meeting up again in a few days. He was going to buy me a helmet and we were going to go on our date on the bike. He has a motorbike. I thought that was sweet, I told him to get me a pink one ;)   I was so excited, I was about to be a biker chick, even if just by association. Good Times, awaited! 

Charles had told me that he had been in a serious relationship before that lasted a year to a year and a half. I don't know how he didn't know exactly if it was a year or and a year and a half but I let that one slide. They had been broken up for, hey, who knows? Something or other. But they were broken up. Apparently, he cheated on him with another white guy. She was Blaxican, I think, (black + Mexican) or just black. I guess he wouldn't have had a problem if she had cheated on him with a black guy or any other race but white. He told me she wanted to get back together at some point, but he was so done. He hates cheats blah blah blah. Who doesn't?

He , like everyone else who lives in Vegas is originally from California. His family now lives in Colorado, he was alone in Vegas. He had a roommate who was in the process of moving out because he was behind on his rent. He told me he was excited, he was about to get his place back. I was like good for you! Whatevz.

As we were texting after he left, he, out of the blue told me that he was sorry, but he wouldn't be able to see me again, he was going to get back together with his ex. Apparently, she had just texted him and wanted to get back together, he wanted to give her another chance. He told me that we could be friends because he liked me. I thought to myself, dang, good thing we didn't get married that morning, shoot! I was new in Vegas, literally fresh off the boat. I could use friends but at the same time, Charlie was sketchy as f*ck, I don't want such people in my life. We can be husband and wife, but I'd be damned if I'm gonna be friends with such a shady character! I didn't know what to say when he broke the news about the ex to me. He also told me to call him if I needed anything, he knew I was new in town and didn't have a car. He told me he would drive me around if I needed a ride somewhere. I mean, what do you do with someone like that? It was a heck of a roller-coaster, I couldn't even begin to tell ya!

That afternoon, I needed to ship stuff I sold on eBay. Charlie offered to give me a ride to the store to get wrapping paper and to the post office. It was hot as heck outside, so I accepted the offer.
Half my outfit that afternoon. When he saw me, he was shocked at how well I cleaned up, haha. From Ashy to Classy
He came around and let me use the helmet. We rode to the store. On our arrival at the store, he told me that he had never had a passenger on his bike before. That made me nervous because with bikes, you wanna be extra careful. Here I am, weighing probably double what this guy weighs and I'm his first passenger, ever! Lord help me! I asked him to please drive slowly. Otherwise, I was totally ok with taking the bus. He offered to pay for me at the store. I let him. I needed something else from the 99 cents store. I wasn't embarrassed to go to the 99 cents store because the dude had already dumped me. What do I care? I ain't tryna impress someone who broke up with me on what was supposed to be our wedding day! He offered to pay over there as well. When he saw me eyeing this, he bought it for me...

Cute, right?
It's a memo pad set, envelops ad a pencil inside. He dropped me off at my place. No mention of the break up and the ex or the wedding, nor the dick pic for that matter. I just went with the flow too. 

When he got home, he continued to text me about the ex. They were going to meet up the following Monday, that was the day we had planned to go on our date. He came up with this brilliant plan that I could always go there as well. In fact, he said, why don't you and I go on our date that night, I won't tell him that our date is off, I will let her come there and find me sitting there with you? I was like, yeah, no, that's not gonna happen. What is this? The Jerry Springer show? F*ck you! You don't even know me, what kind of a ridiculous plan is this? He told me that if I wanted him, I should fight for him. I thought, poor thing, nobody ever fought for him, he's begging girls he met on the internet to fight for him. That's the only logical explanation why he would want me to fight for him.  I don't fight. I never do, he had the wrong girl! I was like, you know what dude. This thing with you and your ex is a joke, it's not gonna work, you had a chance to take me on a date, you just blew it. Good bye!
Charlie on his way home. Bye Felicia!


Just like that, he changed his mind, he told me he had already ordered my helmet online, he was going to receive it in a few days, let's still go out. Or we can go out day before his date with his ex, see if we get along, if not, he was going to get back with his ex, if we get along, he was going to cancel the date with his ex. I told him NO! I hadn't even made up my mind if I wanted him as a boyfriend (never mind that I wanted to marry him that morning, there's a difference :)), and he was gambling with me as if I was desperate to date his ass. By the end of it all, I was just so exhausted from the meeting that morning, to the nerve wrecking bike ride to the news about the ex, it was too much!
















































10 comments:

  1. Oh my freaking word Brook!!!!! Gosh what if he had taken you seriously???? Hahahaha. Yooo poor Charlie wants you to fight for him. What kind of a wife doesn't fight for her husband???

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL LOL. If he'd taken me seriously, which I was; I guess, we'd have got married that day!
    He's crazy, nobody wants to start off a relationship Jerry Springer style. Ridiculous!

    ReplyDelete
  3. And be married to some man who would tell you later he was still hung over his ex chick?? That's very adventurous. And what if he didn't even have a place to stay? A fetish you were disgusted with? Looked like a gremlin?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We'd be married, which is what I wanted. I would at least check that off my list and on to the next! Him being homeless would be his problem.

      Delete
  4. Oh were you planning for it(this holy matrimony) to just be in name?? I know you are extremely brave but yooo not to this level lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew he wasn't homeless, he had a job, an apartment and a ride. And he had blue eyes.

      Delete
    2. Lol, nothing is beneath me girl. I'm a down girl like that! #DownForWhatever

      Delete
  5. Oh were you planning for it(this holy matrimony) to just be in name?? I know you are extremely brave but yooo not to this level lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Or were you planning for it ( this holy matrimony) to just be in a name? Yoo I know how extremely brave you are but not to this level. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Either way, we would work something out. As long as there's a prenup or postnup. In our case, we would've had to get a post ;)

      Delete