My Husband Wants You Out Of The House!

I was on cloud nine on the way back home. Free at last! How am I going to break the news to them that I am finally getting out of their hair? How would you have told them? Please comment on the blog or my Twitter/Facebook/Whatsapp, I would like to hear your thoughts. I got up that night, got ready and walked to the bus stop. I was enjoying work. My colleagues were nice, we had fun times, goofing around through the night. It was the best thing to happen to me at that point in my life. One of them, MaBrrr and I had gotten close from my second night at wok. That’s the night she trained me. She got my silly jokes. She is LDS but didn’t shove it down my throat (that’s what she said haha). I had talked to her a bit about my situation at home. Not full details, cos you know how people are, she could use that against me one day. Anyway, I told her that I found a place to stay, furnished room, I could move in whenever I wanted. Needless to say, I was going to move in the very following day. I didn’t care if I didn’t get any sleep. I was going to move out of that house if that was the last thing I was going to do. Soonest!

MaBrrr (we’ll call her MB) was like, I’ll move you! I begged her to let me pay her for gas, or her time or both, anything! She agreed, then we had a deal. No freebies! Fck that, no such thing as free lunch anyways. You pay for it way more than you would have if you had just paid them in hard cash. Four o’clock the morning, I got a text from Cindy; MY HUSBAND WANTS UP OUT OF THE HOUSE BY FRIDAY! It was Tuesday Morning. I had three days to move out. She was too little too late because I was moving out that very morning! The text said, husband wants UP out, I didn’t know if she meant to say u or us. Knowing that man, maybe she was getting kicked out too. I didn’t want to be presumptuous, so, I texted back, wants UP out? She responded, WHATEVER! First of all, We all know Husband by now! He is not the kind of guy who will miss out on an opportunity to kick someone out and to prove his superiority. She was using him as a scapegoat, clearly that came from her. Did her husband also tell her not to talk to me for two weeks flat, even when he wasn’t home three days in a row? B!tch please!

She sent another text around 6, after about two hours saying, He wants YOU out of the house by Friday. I had already figured it out by then. I pretty much figured it out the first time around but had to give her the benefit of the doubt. I responded, ‘oh ok’.  My prayer that morning was that nobody would be home when I moved out. That Prayer was answered. There was nobody home that morning! Good thing I packed when I did. That’s why you should follow your gut feeling! MB parked in the driveway while I ran upstairs to move my bags. I took everything. I am so experienced in moving now that I never forget a thing! I would have loved to wash the linen but ain’t nobody got time for that! I folded it up nicely and put it aside. The room was pretty much clean, even the linen had been washed two days prior. She never wanted me to wash it, always told me it’s still clean, she washes her after two to three months. So I always washed it when I was home alone. I left a note in the kitchen with all their names, and thanked them for hosting me and that God will reward them accordingly ;)

We headed for Murray, same suburb my work was. MB hung around while I unpacked. I had everything I needed, the room was fully furnished, futon, bedding, everything, hangers in the walk in closet. I couldn’t have asked for anything better! We went out for breakfast, I also bought a few groceries before MB left. Bed, then work that night. It had been a good day!

Back Together Again!

Husband had once told me that he wasn’t impressed with how Cindy was not taking care of the car. She never serviced it! Apparently! He was hoping that one day, while he was out of town, it would give in, just to teach her a lesson. When the car was broken into, I tried really hard not to suspect him. Cindy suspected the ex girlfriend. Soon, it was time for me to head to work. I didn’t want to be late, so I left two hours early. It was going to take me forever to get there anyway. Might as well be forever and thirty minutes. I hated to leave Cindy in that condition but I had to. I took the twenty minutes walk to the buy stop and waited thirty minutes for the bus. It got there on the dot at 8:30pm. Nice driver, Her name’s Nicky. I always said, Hey Nicky, hey Nicky when I saw her (Nicky Minaj Voice :)). 

While getting ready for work, I overhead Cindy talking to her husband over the phone. They were talking! Yippee?

My first night was great! I shadowed a guy who was so so cool. He takes his work so seriously, like me J We were on our feet all night long. The following day, my feet! I took the bus right in front of work, it took me downtown Salt Lake City to the main station, where we changed buses, same driver, then headed where I lived. I would then get off twenty minutes away from the house and walk the remained of it! My feet! It was worth it though, I had a job yall! Cindy had already left for work when I got home.

That night, after work, she told me about this brilliant plan she and her no longer estranged husband had cooked up; long story short, I was supposed to bear witness to the fact that they lost things that they didn’t really lose from the break in. Use your imagination J . I neither agreed nor disagreed. The last thing I need here is to end up in jail or deported because I did something I had no business doing to begin with. I went back to the bedroom for a quick nap before work and just sat there thinking what the heck have I gotten myself into. I was working on a way out of that one without hurting anyone’s feeling or getting kicked out again. Fortunately, she didn’t bring it up again that night. I was still panicking when I got home from work the next morning. She took a few days off work to work on the car and everything. Suddenly, they were so tight with her husband, it woul have been cute if it weren’t weird. I noticed that the more Cindy and her husband were talking, the less she talked to me. It’s like for her, it’s either or, she can’t talk to both of us at the same time.

I was working part time, so majority of time, I was not working. I was seriously looking for a place to stay though, especially now that nobody was talking to me in the house. I knew my time was really up. Cindy had told me that she was arranging for her son in South Africa to come over and go to school here. She also invited her daughter to come visit. Clearly, it was time for me to get out. Where were all these people going to sleep? I guess that was her way of telling me that she was going to need the bedroom. I wasn’t going to get paid for another few weeks, I missed the first cycle, had to wait another two weeks to get my check (cheque). It wasn’t gonna be much cos I had only worked a few days, maybe 5 in total. Since they started talking, they stopped dishing up for me whenever they cooked. I stopped cooking. I didn’t want to come across a situation where I had to dish up for people who were no longer my friends. I would just go out to eat or fix something quickly when they were out. They would buy KFC, the entire house would smell like chicken, and eat the whole thing up. Good thing, I always had some money aside, I could always afford buying my own food. I could KFC if I wanted to, but that was not the point. When you live with someone, even if it’s just a roommate, my mom taught me that when you buy something that smells good or something like a cake that everybody likes, share. Even if the other person is not greedy, it’s human nature to want some, share! Clearly these people I have been living with come from a different background.

I would say hi to Husband and he would pretend like I don’t exist. Cindy would only say hi and bye, that was it. They used to say when they were going out, in fact, they used to take me with them. It had gotten to a point where one minute, I would hear their voices, the next, they would be gone. Wow! Who knew that a car break in would change so much between friends! You would swear they blamed me for breaking into their car! Which would be interesting considering  I don’t even know how to get to Cindy’s work.

I started working first week of May 2013. My first day, was the day, they broke into Cindy’s car. The following day was the last time she and I had a conversation. I had moved in on March 27^th. So within a month, I had been kicked out and ignored and everything. Just four weeks! On the flip side, within the same amount of time, I had got me a job! Hallelujah! On my off days, I was viewing places, seriously looking for a place to stay, with Cindy not talking to me, I was fcked! I remember one afternoon, I went to the kitchen, bumped into Cindy, I had just done my hair, the thick long braids (Da Brats), She looked at me and burst out laughing. Here’s the thing about me, if I like it, I pretty much don’t care what you think of it! We won’t get into details about her hair or lack thereof. I ignored that and just said hi. I soon left for the library. Once it gets unbearable to be home, I head for the library. It’s more peaceful there! Also, I had noticed that I didn’t have internet on  my PC, the last few days. I still saw them using the PC downstairs but for some reason I wasn’t connected. I think they changed the password. Was I gonna ask them for the new password, knowing that they changed it to prevent me from using their Wi –Fi? From the llibrary, I headed downtown to view an apartment. They gave me application forms, to fill out and return them to their office. It rained on my way back home. There were no more buses, it was the weekend. I was rained on, my new hair and all. And I had my laptop with me. I walked home for about 30-40 minutes from the train station. Where I once got stranded.

When I got home, Cindy was sitting at the computer, I went over there to try and break the ice. I told her about my day, that I had just viewed an apartment. I also wanted them to know, as if it wasn’t obvious, that I was looking for a place, I didn’t intend on living in that uncomfortable, spotless house forever. All I got in return was mh, ok, ok, oh, oh ok, ok. That’s it! You know when someone really doesn’t give a fck? That’s what was up.

I didn’t follow up with the application, I didn’t have a nice feeling about that place. I went back online on my phone. Might as well, it’s not like I don’t have a phone with internet which I pay for! I put it to good use when they blocked me from their internet. She was doing exactly what that Chinese woman did to me. How was she different?

I went and viewed another apartment, it was supposedly closer to work. Work was South of Salt Lake City, Cindy’s was North. I was looking forward to be closer to work and not have to travel an hour and a half to get to work. This was a rooming situation, I was open to rooming with one other person, not more. I don’t like me crowded place. I am used to living all by myself, so. It was a lady who lives by herself in a condo she is renting. I saw pictures of the place, looked cute in pictures. I saw a man’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. I expected it to be a guy until I got there and out came a female. Anyway, we hung out for a while. I left after about two hours. I got a call from my supervisor just before I walked into her condo to give me my schedule. I WAS GOING TO BE FULL TIME! Yay! I liked the condo. The woman had a ton of stories to tell, she talked fast, I think she was trying to make sure she told me as many as possible. She’s American, has had her own businesses and was screwed over by her business partner. Apparently she used to be a millionaire. Anyway. I told her I would take the place. I told her to come with me to the bank to withdraw the deposit to I could get the key and move in the following morning after work. She was like, no, you’re fine. I want you to move in here, so I will wait until you are ready, you can pay me then or whenever you have the money. What? That never happens!

I rushed home to sleep before work that night. My bags had been packed, I woke up one morning and just packed, so yeah. Don’t ask! When my gut tells me to do something, I do it! You should too, it’s the best feeling :). My room didn’t have a lock, so who knows if they went in there and saw that I was packed? I guess we will never know cos they were not talking to me.

Don't Call Me, I'll Call You!

I was so nervous at the interview! I needed the job like I needed air to breathe or a bullet in my head, whichever would come first haha. We took lil one along, it was Cindy’s day off so. It’s a beautiful facility, I remember fantasising about working there. The guy asked Cindy if she is the one who knows That supervisor guy, who apparently is the guy’s friend. She agreed. He turned to me and asked if I know someone who works there to? I told him that I know someone who knows someone J.  Cindy went in first, I stayed behind with Lil one. That child was running amok, I couldn’t contain her! Hot Mess! Cindy was in there for what seemed like forever. The nerves of my upcoming interview and being stuck with an unruly child! Eventually they came out.  I went in, sooooo nervous! We walked up the stairs, found a random desk, he told me they were looking for two night shift aides (Nursing Aides), he asked if we were sisters. I didn’t know what he wanted to hear, whether he wanted us to be sisters or not, cos at that point, I was ready to tell him whatever he wanted to hear. He asked me what is the first thing you do when a patient falls. I went blank! I mumbled something along the lines of before you do anything, you call for assistance, or you call the nurse, heck I can’t remember what I said. Soon, we were done!

He told me he was in charge of the hiring process, he was going to forward my stuff to management and call to let me know if I got the job. I left there without a glimmer of hope. I didn’t think I got it at all considering how long Cindy was in there for and how many seconds I was in there in comparison. Cindy was in such high spirits on our way out. It was weird to me considering she wasn’t looking for a job.

A week or so later, Cindy got a call back from the facility. They offered her the job. It was a full time position, she told me it wasn’t for him because she was looking for a part time job. That was news to me. They never called me. I called them, Guy was like, we are still looking but I will call you right back. He never did. I kept calling him. I felt like I was too close to getting it for me to let it slip. After about two weeks, he finally called me back and offered me the position. I was ecstatic! I can find my own place and move the fck out! He wanted me to get finger prints and take them to the office. That was a whole another blog post on its own! I took the Fingerprints in, they made me pee in a cup, fun! Another interview, then they made me fill out two mini booklets and gave me the third book to take home, read and fill out (or in, depending which English you speak, British or American J). He told me to start that Friday 10pm. I went home with a weird feeling. I didn’t have that feeling of excitement like someone who just got a job. I went home and told them I got the job. Everyone was so excited. Friday came, I called Guy confirming my first shift that night, he was like, you can come tonight if you like, but you don’t have the job yet. I am still waiting to hear from management if they want you to take the position.

The fck!

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place! I kept applying. Cindy told me she could recommend me to her supervisor but she didn’t think I would like working there with her husband’s ex girlfriend. Hell, if you can work with her, when she was YOUR husband’s girlfriend, why can’t I?  She was like, also I don’t want her spreading rumors about you. Blah blah blah. I was like,that is so the least of my concerns. All of a sudden, one day, she came home ever so excited that she talked to the kitchen supervisor about me. She told them that I am looking for a job, should they need someone to wash the dishes. Uhm! Really? A dishwasher? That’s like the lowest paid people in her company, minimum wage! They make $4 more per hour in her level, which is where I have experience. It was deja vu! That’s what T was trying to do in Connecticut when she didn’t want me to work for her agent who paid $1 200 per month but for another agent who paid $500 per month. SMDH

I never heard from her company either, so whatevz! I kept calling that Guy until he literally asked me to stop calling him. The guy practically hired me and then acted like he didn’t. You don’t do that to a person! A week or so after that, he called and gave me my schedule. I was going to start off part time, I didn’t mind, I was glad to have a job. From then on, I focused my energy in finding a place to stay. I was going to start one Wednesday night. I was home alone that day. I had finished cleaning, you know how that goes, had filled out the entire book they gave me to fill out and took a nap, so I could be nice and refreshed that night. Cindy came home around 6pm. She called me downstairs, told me she wanted to show me something, seeing as I had read our horoscope that morning telling her that good time were ahead of us. Kill the messenger, why don’t you?

She took me to the garage. He car had been broken into! The entire window was gone, broken glass everywhere! Apparently they stole her purse which had $300 in it and all her cards, ID, driver’s license, you name it!

Homeless Shelter

id I  

Did I just get kicked out? What am I gonna do? Cindy was still in the bathroom bathing the kid. I went to my bedroom, stared at my clothes in the closet. I was in disbelief. I didn’t see that coming! What was I gonna do? I didn’t know a soul in Utah. Crap! I literally felt week and helpless. That was a low blow. Husband knew better than to do that to me or anyone for that matter. There are things that you just don’t do to a person and that’s one of them. But then again, that’s how they fought, they always went to the no go zones, him and Cindy. It’s what they do, what they know. Even though Cindy, the reason I was in Utah, was there, I felt alone. Like I and only I had to figure out what to do next. I just didn’t see her as that person who was going to be handy in any way. If anything, she would just forget.

She called me to the bathroom, soon as I went in to talk to her, husband came in. She tried to close the door, he pushed it, and forced his way in. I walked away. I have just been kicked out, I no longer need to bear witness to this crap. Whatever, deal with yall’s crap by yourself! They argued and argued about their problems, he came to my bedroom to try and force me to listen to him. Now that I just kicked you out, you are vulnerable and desperate and will do as I say, type of sht. I was like, you know what? I really don’t wanna hear it. I mean what was the worst that could happen? Was he gonna kick me out?

Baba, Cindy is not your friend! This should prove to you how much she cares about you! If my husband kicked out my friend, I would go to him and beg him to stop it! I would do whatever it takes to make sure my friend was safe! Cindy doesn’t care! She is still arguing with me. She still won’t listen to me! How can you trust someone like that? Don’t trust her! She is not a friend! You two are supposed to be sisters. She is not your sister. Cindy! Cindy! How can you do this to your friend? You told Baba to move all the way to Utah, now you’re kicking her out! You are kicking Baba out! I was like, this dude done lowst it! Is he kidding me, twisting the whole thing before my very eyes? He is the one who kicked me out, I was there when he told ME to get out of his house, what’s this about Cindy, you’re kicking out BABA? What kinda BS is that? I didn’t even respond to that, I was just staring in my closet in disbelief. I didn’t know whether to start packing, then what? Or should I find a place first, what? What should I do?

Cindy came over, she told me to call the church. She told me they would be more than happy to help me out. They do that kind of stuff for people all the time. I went for a short walk down the street to stay clear of the background noise aka Husband’s yelling.  I called the missionaries and told them what had happened. They were stunned and told me they could find me a place to stay but I had to ask the bishop first. I had met the bishop, he had been to the house once with the missionaries, sweet little man! I reluctantly called him. I mean I would have rather they called him themselves, but ok. He asked me if I had a job. I told him I didn’t. He told me I could VOLUNTEER at the DI (the LDS Thrift store) in exchange for free meals. He would store my stuff in his garage! Uh, reverend! I am calling about a place to stay, not free meals in exchange of eight hours of labour! This is not an opportunity for you to use me as a slave! This is America, I can get a meal for a dollar all over the show. Stay with me here! WTF? He kept repeating himself, I couldn’t even do it anymore, I thanked him for his time and was ready to hang up. He asked me to please keep him updated! What is this? A blog? When someone is going through something, you don’t expect them to think of you, and keep you informed while you’re sitting in the comfort of your own home, getting foot massages in your Bishop’s throne. You call them! Or get your assistant’s assistant to check up on them. Again, what kind of people are these?

I called the Missionaries back, told them what he said, they were like, did you tell them you are looking for a place to stay? Er, Are you out of your freaking mind? Why do you think I called him? Why did I call you? They were like, wooooow, ok Brook, we’ll call you right back. Never called back! I went back to the house, tail between my legs. Cindy had just taken a shower, she was ready to get outta that house. I was hoping she hadn’t forgotten about me. That she wasn’t just gonna leave me there with that man. Lil one went to her father and asked, Pappa, did you kick out Baba? He said, No, I didn’t, your mom did! Haha, you have to laugh at the things that man said and did! Desperate!  Cindy was like, HE did, he is the one who kicked her out, Baba is in her room now, packing. I wasn’t packing. I never packed. She knew I wasn’t. I think she was trying to tell me, don’t just sit there mutha fcker, jump, jump! – Busta Rhymes haha.

She came over and told me, let’s go view apartments. Please don’t take any of this personally, he really is trying to hurt my feelings not yours. Ok Cindy, I won’t take someone kicking me out personally. Not now, not ever! She told me he had finally crossed the line, I was there because of her and she was going to make sure I was fine. She was going to move out and leave him for good. That was the final straw. I didn’t believe him. If I did, I would have asked him not to leave her husband on my account, but I somehow knew it was bs, so I let it slide.  We drove off to the LDS offices. She took me to their employment offices, I didn’t see how that had to do with the price of rice in China but I rolled with it. As long as I wasn’t in that house, I was happy. She waited outside while I talked to the people in the office, they explained how their website worked, I was like thanks so much, I will do this at home. I wasn’t about to spend hours online looking for a job when I had nowhere to sleep that night. Priorities! From there, Cindy sped off onto the freeway. I didn’t know where we were going, I didn’t ask. We stopped at the mall. She took us to Ross. A nice discount store for name brands clothing and shoes. I had been there the day I got stranded halfway home and bought a pair of Nike Sneakers. I had them on that very moment, actually. Might as well be ready to run comfortably! She was like, I wanted to bring you here, they have good stuff here, cheap, cheap! Really? Of all the places you could’ve taken me to today! You’re gonna take me shopping? I bet you she forgot that her husband kicked me out an hour prior.

I told her I had already been there, that’s where I bought the shoes I had on. We didn’t stay after that. We walked around the mall, me super confused as what was going on and what was gonna happen next. Small wonder I didn’t believe her when she told me she was moving out. We went through the food court. Mhhh, the smells, I wanted to buy something to eat, lil one was hungry too. Normally, Cindy serves breakfast around 1pm. I, personally, start off early and finish early, breakfast around 7, lunch around 11 to midday and dinner between four and five pm. So you can imagine how hungry  I was by the time she made breakfast. Good thing I bought groceries too. I never waited for that. I would have cereal in the morning, and consider her breakfast lunch. Anyway, she wouldn’t let me buy something to eat. She said, let’s rather go home, she was going to make breakfast. He breakfast is always scrambled eggs, bacon and bread, tasty, not what I normally eat, which is good, but I was starving.  She wouldn’t even let me buy candy with my own money. We zipped through the mall as fast as we went in. I was like, what the heck did we even come here for? Of course I didn’t ask her that, just went with the flow.

We headed back home. Husband was busy calling the entire time. She never picked up his calls. When we got home, he followed me to the bedroom again, good grief! He told me to disregard what he said earlier, of course I was welcome to stay in his house as long as I wanted. They loved me. I asked him if it’s normal for him to say stuff like that and not mean it. Just so we’re clear, you know? He told me Cindy drives him so nuts that yes, he does have those tendencies. He reiterated though that Cindy was not a true friend blah.

Soon as he walked out, Cindy came in, she suggested I still move out because who knew what he was going to do next. Move where? She told me about homeless shelters in Salt Lake City. I was like, can I stay here until I find a decent place to stay? I really am not feeling a homeless shelter right now. She was like, oh, no, not these! These are amazing! I had a friend who lived in them for two full years, she loved it there! Who invites a friend to stay in their home until they are sorted out and then kicks her out to a homeless shelter? I was beginning to think that Husband was right about her.

I wasn’t gonna move into a shelter, sorry, no way, no how! The following day, I had a meeting with the missionaries, they came over to get me, I thought to myself, do these people have no shame? They never had the courtesy to call me back after that frantic call the previous day, all they care about is shoving their scripture down my throat. Everybody was home when they came for me. The argument was so on, it was so bad, I thought they were going to get at it physically soon as I left. I was glad the missionaries came for me. It was a well needed break. I called before going back home that afternoon, to see if the coast was clear. Cindy didn’t pick up. Things got better when she and husband stopped “talking” again. It was quiet. He wasn’t talking to me either, hadn’t been since he did not kick me out.

Through all the highs and lows of Staying at Cindy’s, we got a call. The facility where her supervisor worked part time, called to see us for an interview. Mine was at 1pm, Cindy’s at 2. We left the house at 1, go figure! She forgot! She thought I said it was at 1:30. She felt so bad when I reminded her that mine was at 1, she backed up so fast, she almost dented the car. Which would have been something considering it’s under her husband’s name and he made sure to tell everybody that. Even though she was paying for it. None of my business.

Get Out Of My House!

We would all looking forward to Husband going to work, at least I know I would. That way they would keep the arguments on text and via the phone as opposed to almost beating each other up, which was much much scarier. One afternoon, while home, he was asleep. Cindy thought it would be the perfect time for her to go through his texts on the Verizon website. She was still trying to find proof that he indeed paid the ex girlfriend for the ear rings. I remember going downstairs to find her engrossed on the computer screen. She told me what she was up to. I had my laptop with me, I was was job hunting and looking for a car online, so I thought I’d do that while chilling with her downstairs. Cindy couldn’t find the texts on the site, so she sought help from the Instant Chat Help service on the website. They were messaging back and forth when suddenly, the person on the other site logged off. I hardly sat down, Cindy was like, OMG, get up! WHAT? I think he’s up! He’s talking on the phone, get up! Leave the room, go go go! Errrrrrr... I didn’t waste anytime, confused as I was, I got up and walked back upstairs. He was on the phone upstairs explaining to someone how nobody else should have access to the account. He is loud, when he does something, anything, he likes for everybody around to know about it. Apparently, he was told at church not to show off when he prays. Cindy says they stopped asking him to pray. That bad! 

I was in the bedroom trying to figure out what had just happened. Turns out, Verizon called Husband. The account is under his name. Everything is under his name. I wish women would learn to have a thing or two under their names too in a marriage, relationship or just in general. If you’re paying for some of the bills, why are they not on your name?  Should push come to shove, you will never be able to prove you were the one paying for those bills if they were not under your name. Being in a committed relationship is cute and all but don’t let that mess with your logic! When I overheard Husband talking to someone about the account, it was with Verizon, he didn’t want Cindy having access to the account they are both paying for. None of my business. You could see the fear in Cindy’s eyes when she heard his voice. He went back to sleep. More tension was brewing in the house. You know they fought about that later on via text. He slept in lil one’s room, she, in the main bedroom. It had been that way since I moved in. Again, none of my business. I did hear husband say something along the lines of, Cindy didn’t do any of those things until I moved in. I must be one who influenced her. She doesn’t know the first thing about computers, I must have taught her how to manoeuvre it. I hate to burst your bubble boo, but not guilty! Not this time around! He once told me that when they first got married, he would leave for work and leave Cindy at home with lil one. Cindy wouldn’t move an inch, he would return after three days to find her right at home, where he left her. Later on, Cindy told me, she would leave the car in the garage, cos she know he marked where he left it, walk out the front door, take the bus and go to the casino, almost an hour away to have a good time! Or to the mall, or wherever and pretend she never left. So him assuming that I am an influence to his wife, please!

He left for work that night, he was usually gone for two to three nights. Cindy works 12 hour shifts, 6am-6pm a few days a week, alternate weekends off. The kid was with grandma most of the time, she was taking care of her. She turned 4 while I was there. The kid, not grandma haha J. That was another issue. Husband wanted lil one to start school. Cindy, wait for it..... kept forgetting to enquire about that! I just love how forgetful Cindy is. She forgets the very things regular people don’t forget. She needs to forget stuff like, whether or not her husband paid that woman for the ear rings, or pay that woman her money herself and then forget that she did, and move on. Just saying! Needless to say, the kid was still playing with grandma, born in America, talking with an African accent because she only hung around grandma who is African and us at home, all Africans. It was interesting to watch.

By the way, Word just crashed, I lost this document for a split second and was freaking out cos that would mean retyping everything, not a big fan of reruns! Thank goodness for Autorecovery!

Husband would come to me and be like, what do you think about Lil one not going to school at her age? She needs to learn to socialise with kids her age etc, he made valid points but my hands were tied. Cindy’s solution would be something along the lines of, or maybe you (me) can drop the kid off and pick her up from school. Uhm, what happens when I get a job? You need to discuss your stuff with your husband and come up with a solution together that doesn’t include a random person who is crashing in your spare bedroom looking for a job, dying to get the heck out of your unbelievably clean house! Come on now, even you can do better than that!

Husband got back home, he leaves for work at night, tenish, and comes home in the mornings. He got home, I heard them exchange words, then the argument became more and more heated. I was just like, you know what! Can’t deal! I was in my room, wishing I had an exit door straight from my room to the outside world. No such luck, Brook. Be grateful for a roof over your head. Which I was. Cindy was bathing the lil one when husband got home. She went back to the bathroom, husband was downstairs in the kitchen, they were still arguing! Words were flying from one room, through the staircase, to the next. Goodness me! On my way to get some drinking water (American think, they don’t just say water, they be like drinking water) in the kitchen, Cindy said something to me in Xhosa. I wish people would stop that, it’s uncomfortable! When there is someone around who doesn’t speak the language, let’s all communicate in a language we all understand! No matter, how ‘broken’ you think your English is, they will appreciate it. It’s common courtesy. I got to the kitchen, husband was like, what did my wife just say to you? I was like, you want me to tell YOU what she said to ME?  He was like, yes, what did she just say? I told him, that’s between she and I. Or you can go ask her what she said. He went, I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Judge Judy

Everybody was home when I arrived from my long walk to freedom. One of my sisters had just emailed that we should Skype looking forward to that. Soon as I walked in, Cindy asked me to make breakfast for everybody. I took my laptop to the kitchen, set it on the counter and skyped while I made branch. Husband was in his office working on the computer, his mom was around too. Cindy was upstairs cleaning. There was tension at home, I felt it as soon as I walked in. Glad I had the skype appointment, the last thing I needed was to walk into another dramatic situation right out of another one.

Grandma was busy in the garage sorting out stuff. She has stuff stored in Cindy’s garage. Later on, Husband took grandma to her place and went to bed. He was working that night. Cindy and I went downstairs to chill. We watched the murder shows and caught up. She and husband had an argument. They almost always argue when grandma is around or about grandma. Husband left for work that night.

I had been looking for work online the entire time. There is a shopping centre not too far from Cindy’s house, I dropped my resume there as well. One day, I got a call from a recruitment agency. Husband was off, he took me for the interview. I filled out a ton of forms and got the job. It was a Friday afternoon, I was to start the following Monday. I looked up directions to the place, it was going to take me three hours there, one way. I called them and turned the offer down. In as much as I was desperately looking for a job, I had to be practical. I wasn’t going to spend six hours on the road to do an eight hour job. I had to come up with a story as to what happened to the job to Cindy. I wasn’t going to tell her that I decided to turn down the job offer and was going to rather stay at her house and sponge off them a little longer. Even though that was not the intention, it probably would have come across that way to her.

On her off days, she took me to nursing homes to apply for work. A lot of these jobs require you to have a car. Even though they won’t need you to drive anywhere. It’s just a thing. Whenever we Cindy would take me to these places, she would also apply. Which automatically reduced my chances of getting the job by 50 % or even less because she has a car and way more experience. She had told me over and over again that she likes it where she works and has no intention of leaving, but she wouldn’t stop applying when I did. I didn’t get that!

Her supervisor has a second job in another nursing home, he referred her there, apparently they were hiring. We went and applied there. They gave us application forms which we took home. She had her friend submit them for us. Which I hope he did, I was willing to take them back myself by bus, bus she insisted. I didn’t want to be stubborn.

One afternoon, we were at the mall, almost an hour away from their house. Some of the stores had notes on the door that they were hiring, Cindy was like, why don’t you go try your luck over there. Uhm because if it’s an hour away by car, it’s going to be two to three hours by bus! I did. One of them, a perfume store, they told me to take the application back in person the following Monday when the boss would be in. That Monday, I was home alone, I took public transportation to the mall and submitted my resume (cv). They wouldn’t let me see the boss, even though that was the deal. Waste of my precious time, if you ask me, but whatevz. They told me  I would hear back from them.

On my way out, I saw massage chairs, a dollar for 3 minutes, I did 15 mins. Then took the last train out. I use google maps as my gps. I was meant to take a connecting bus halfway home. I got off the train and it was dark out! I ran towards the bus stop. A kind gentleman asked if I was waiting for the bus. I was. He told me that there were no more buses that time of the night. I was screwed. My Cellphone battery was dying. I got a text from Cindy asking where I was. I texted back and the phone died just before the text sent. Everybody had their own keys to the house, husband, Cindy and myself, so that wasn’t an issue. I didn’t have a curfew as far as I was concerned, so I was good. Not great, cos I was still stranded, but good.

I went to the nearest building, it was like a live in facility for veterans blah blah blah. That’s not why I was there J. I asked the receptionist for help charging my phone. He didn’t have a charger for my kind of phone. Crap! He was happy to let me use his phone to make a phone call, only thing is, I didn’t know Cindy’s number by heart. I had it on email cos I remember my sister emailed to me. I asked him if I could use his phone to access my emails. He did. Thank goodness for small favors! I couldn’t find the number.

He told me I didn’t live that far from where I was, I could walk. Yeah sure, if it wasn’t 9pm! Plus I wasn’t familiar with the area. I couldn’t call or ask anybody if I got lost, it wasn’t worth it. I was about to call a cab when he found a charger that fit my phone. I charged my phone, switched it on and found a whole lot of missed calls and texts from Cindy. That put me under more pressure than I already was. I didn’t know what she wanted from me so desperately. Apparently she was pissed at me because She was stuck outside the house and not able to get in. I don’t know what that had do with me. She wanted to know where I was. I told her, she was like, I’m on my way, I’ll come get you. Imagine if I had picked up lil one, we would be freezing outside now. I thought you would be home by now blah! I gave her the address. She drove around in circles, couldn’t find me, wasn’t picking up my calls nor responding to my texts. Twenty or so minutes later, I got hold of her. She was at home! I was like, I thought you were on your way here! She was like, I did come there, I didn’t see you. What’s the address. Great, I have to give her directions again, she had them on her whatsapp. This is not some random, hard to find place, especially not for somebody who has lived in the area for years. I was at the train station, right by the apartments she likes, she lived in that vicinity before.

Anyway, I went and stood outside waiting for her. She shot by fast, I was like omg, there she is again. I was walking on egg shells at that point because I didn’t get why she was in a bad mood. I hadn’t seen that side of hers before. I tried calling to tell her I was across the street, to wait for me, even though I knew she was going to have to come my way again to head towards the house. She didn’t pick up. Fck! Eventually, she saw me. I mean I was the only person in the streets in all of Utah after all. I got on the car and apologised profusely. No idea what about. I just wanted to clear the air.

I told her where I had been hoping she wouldn’t be mad anymore. I asked how her day was. She told me that she and her husband are having another one of those arguments. Aaaahhh, that’s why she was so pissed! She had forgotten her key at home. I think he took hers and she was supposed to take his, blah blah blah. She ended up taking the wrong keys with her. When she got home, she couldn’t get in. She couldn’t even get in via the garage because of blah blah blah. Hot mess. We hung out in the kitchen and she poured her heart out to me. She told me things about the relationship that were straight out of movie-type things. All kinds of abuse, arrests, homelessness, it was bad.

She was ready to get out of the marriage but she had her reasons why she wanted to stick it out a little longer. I have never been married, so I don’t know what it feels like in her shoes. From an outsider’s angle, I thought, the sooner, the better. I wasn’t gonna tell her what to do about her marriage and her life though. They were still texting back and forth, saying things to each other that shouldn’t be said. I told her to just switch off her phone because the longer she engaged in the argument, the more upset she was going to be. I felt so sorry for her. She was all alone, nobody else knows about the things that go on in her marriage, the family back home doesn’t even know where he is from, they don’t know the first thing about him. I told her that’s one of the things that is working against her. She needed to tell someone. She is alone in this country and he know it. Should anything happen to her, the family wouldn’t even know where to start investigating. God forbid!

We went to sleep in our respective rooms. Husband was out of town, working. I overheard her arguing him over the phone through the night. She hardly slept that night. I guess my advice about switching off the phone fell on deaf ears. The argument went on for days until husband came back home. They were still texting back and forth, even though they were both home. They hardly talked to each other. Nice people, both nice to me and the kid and everybody else but I hardly heard them talk to each other.

One day, while Cindy was at work, husband was like, do you notice that my wife never even says hi to me when she comes home from work? I was like, eh, uhm, er. Trying not to get involved. One Afternoon, they all came to my room and were like, “ok, Baba, you be the judge. My wife works with my ex, the woman who destroyed my life. She knows that woman hates her and yet she went and took ear rings from her on credit, she forgot to pay this woman. When the woman asked for the payment. My wife returned the ear rings. It was too late! The woman won’t take the ear rings back, she wants her money. My wife doesn’t want to pay her. I told my wife that she has to pay her, they had a deal. I told her over and over again not to have anything to do with this woman, but she never listens. I told her that if she doesn’t pay the woman, I will pay her myself, but the woman will get her payment! Am I right, Baba?” It was Cindy’s turn to speak. She told me how the woman was selling ear rings from Africa, she didn’t want to buy them but the Mexicans were making fun of her, she thought as a fellow black person, she is going to have her back and take ear rings from her, even if she is going to return them later. She forgot (you know Cindy, she’s very forgetful).” She didn’t want the ear rings and she hates the woman, she doesn’t want to support her business but she had to have her back in front of other races. Cindy refused to pay the woman. The woman wouldn’t take the ear rings back. This was after a month or so. I had to decide who was right or wrong. Why me L

Cindy was upset that her upset went behind her back and paid the woman, husband said he didn’t pay the woman. Cindy said the woman sent her a text saying Cindy’s husband had paid her. There was no way of proving who was lying between Husband and the Woman. Cindy was pissed that the husband didn’t have her back in this regard. I was just sitting them watching the back and forth of it all, wishing I could hide under a rock. Husband was talking over Cindy, Cindy was talking over husband. The lil one was yelling at the top of her voice. It was quite something!

Eventually, husband blamed me for taking Cindy’s side and was like what was he thinking asking me to be unbiased anyway, blah blah blah, and walked away, simply because I asked him to let Cindy finish talking and not talk over her because she had let him finish when it was his turn. Childish, if you ask me. 

The arguments didn’t stop there, they went on and on and on for days and weeks. While husband was at work, Cindy would tell me how she wants to put cameras around the house and film some of their arguments to use as evidence, just in case. I told her that was illegal but why not start with just the Cellphone recorder. That’s not gonna be as in your face putting cameras all over the house and getting busted. Do you know what she did? One day, in their heated arguments, she took out the phone, right in front of him and put it in between them and kept arguing. LMAO. Needless to say, he saw that and went berserk!