Monday, January 26, 2015

Now You See Me! Now You Don't

As I was busy looking for accommodation, I saw a two bedroom apartment to share on the West Side of Vegas. It somehow looked familiar. I may have talked to the guy while I was still in LA. This time though, I emailed back and forth with a woman. She told me that she and her husband were looking for someone to occupy the second bedroom. As the sixth of seven kids who was raised in a home with extended family, I am just not a big fan of overcrowdedness. I don't know if that's normal for someone who grew up in a big family or it's the other way round? Anyway, growing up, I spent most of my time locked up in a spare room reading #NerdAlert! If it were up to me, I would never have roommates but I will take one roommate as a plan B, no more than one other person in the house though, nah! Plus, once there are too many of you in the house, you start clicking and all kinds of drama I'm not in the mood for. I can't! The lady made sure to tell me that they are hardly ever at home. They both work full time, blah blah blah. I thought, the least I could do was view the place. What I liked was that it was month to month, so I could move there temporarily and then move again the following month. It was an option, not a strong one, but an option nonetheless. I arranged to view the place the following day.

As I was talking to the lady, I was chatting with the green eyed guy, we'll call him Hunter, mhhhhh! We didn't exchange that many emails, him and I. Or we did, what do I know? I was chatting with so many people. That's why I don't give them my phone number because it's harder to keep track of who's who once you chat with them on email and text. If you have all the conversations on email, you know what's going for what. I wasn't that psyched about going to view that place in the heat but I had to do something! The nicer places' people were not getting back to me. I took the bus in the heat using Maps for directions. I think it was somehow upside down, so I went north instead of west from the east. Before I knew it, I was a block away from where I started. Do you know how tempted I was to go back to the hostel, drink some ice cold water and watch Reality tv online? You have no idea! Instead, I put my big girl's panties on, and got back on the bus, right direction this time! The place isn't that far from where I was staying. I got off two stops away, so I had to walk even more than I had to in the desert heat. It was around 100° F (38° C). Whilst making my way to the place, I got a call from this California number. Hello? "Hey, Brook! It's Hunter! How you doing?" Between the heat and excitement, I literally dropped dead and woke up in the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Lol, just kidding. He asked what I was up to. I told him. He was on the strip, gambling at one of the resorts; he plays poker for a living. Fun, right? I wanna play for a living too. I mean, I kinda do already, people ask me all the time, so what do you do, especially after buying the car. Cos they always see me gallivanting all over the place, all hours of day and night, they be like, so what DO you do. Like with emphasis on the first do. I tell them, nothing. It's a shorter version of the longer version. Hunter asked if  I wanted to go for iced coffee after viewing the place. I agreed. Nice motivation to get the viewing over and done with. If I had known  I was going to go on a date.... with destiny, I sure wouldn't have worn such a short top with my leggings. It was the first time in my entire life I ever wore such a short top with leggings, but I was like, I'm new to Vegas, nobody knows me here plust it's too hot to care. The top was nice and thin in material. And then I had to go and meet a cute guy with this ridiculous outfit. I mean, not ridiculous ridiculous, but you know what  I mean! I was sweating like a racehorse, but who wasn't?

I arrived at this chick's place. I called her from the parking lot. She told me she was at the store, they just arrived, could I wait? Bitch, no! I ca n't wait for you at a random parking lot in the scorching heat while you're shopping! If you're not available, I'm leaving! I've got people to do and places to go, or something like that haha. Get it? She told me she was going to ask her fiance to drop her off. If this chick lives with her husband and she is now with her fiance, this may not be the kind of lifestyle I'm trying to get involved with. She told me she would be there in ten minutes. Ten minutes is too long, when you're dehydrating from heat and have taken four buses to get some place, two for the wrong way, two to the right direction. Still, bottom line is the bottom line! Right? :)
Ten minutes later, I get a call from her. Hey, Brook, sorry, my husband just dropped me off but we forgot the keys, he has them in the car with him. His phone is with me, so I can't call and ask him to bring me the keys. Phuck! This will never work! I am just waiting now, because I am here already, otherwise I can assure you now, I don't want to live with these people. Not for only a month, not at all! Plus, the guy is now back at being her husband! Double You Tee Eff!

Not long after, I got another call from the girl telling me to come around to the apartment. He boyfriend/husband/fiance had dropped the key. I was like, oh wow, that was quick! She said, 'I know, he's amazing. That's why I married him!'

The apartment reeked of cigarette smoke! I could smell it from the balcony, so, naturally, the first thing I asked was, 'Do you guys smoke?' She told me that they do but not in the apartment. Never in the apartment! I was like, strike 89. We walked into the apartment, They have two sofas and a giant TV in the living room. and a couple of coffee tables. She took me to the bedroom. There's an enormous hole on the  bedroom door. Strike 90! The bed is on the floor. I see that a lot here in the States. In South Africa, beds either have legs or people put bricks underneath to make up for the legs. No jokes! Here, I see base sets on the floor, it looks too tacky to me! Tackier than the brick situation. She told me that as soon as I pay deposit, they would buy whatever else I need for the room. Mind you, deposit is supposed to be refundable. How are they going to refund me if they are going to go on a shopping spree as soon as I hand it to them? Landlords! That's not what potential tenants want to hear! If you're renting out a furnished room, furnish it before you rent it out, otherwise it's not a furnished room. If you're going to use my money to buy the furniture to furnish the furnished room you're renting out to me, that's not how it works. Don't act dumb, this is pretty simple. You would understand this if the shoe was on the other foot! They have a tv cord on the floor, she told me that when I move in, I could use the tv in the bedroom, or hang out in the living room with her. She continued to tell me that she would actually prefer it if I would hang out with her in the living room. She could use the company, she gets so bored, being at home all the time. I was like oh, so you don't have a job? Remember this chick, told me via email that they both have very demanding jobs and are never at home? No, she's at home all the time! Strike 93! When I asked her about work, she fumbled a bit. She didn't know why I was asking, you know when you want to give someone the answer they want to hear but aren't sure what they want to hear? That was her predicament. Poor Thing, the rent money was so close, she could smell it! PS. The tv she was talking about in the bedroom was going to be purchased with my refundable deposit money.

On our way out of the bedroom, I asked her about the elephant in the room or should I say the hole on the door. She told me that they were moving the bed into the room, she accidentally hit the door with her elbow. Sssuuurrreeee! Cos I'm some dumbo who will believe ridiculous sht like that. Of course, that was her man, he punched the door. I would say either she did or he did, but it was totally him. That girl is so on edge, you can tell she is in an abused relationship. And she's likely on drugs. I was on my way out, when she asked me to have a sit. She wanted me to meet her next door neighbor who is from South Africa. I didn't want to, but what are you gonna do? You don't wanna be that person who doesn't want to meet someone from your country. I sat right next to a coffee table that had cigarette ash on it. I took a picture of it. You know? For fun! I got up to get something from my handbag which was on the other end of the room. When I went back to my seat, the ash was gone. Well, sht! Abracadabra! If I hadn't taken that picture, I would have sworn I imagined that ash. Not that it mattered, I wasn't taking the place anyway.

The neighbor finally came by. She's a older white lady from the Western Cape. I love my South Africans, but when someone tells me they want to introduce me to someone from South Africa, so many questions go through my mind. Black or white? How do they feel about blacks? How do they feel about meeting other South Africans? Mhhh?!?!?!?!? How can I get out of this without meeting this person? Etc! The lady seemed nice, overenthusiastic, even! She told me about her kids who are all successful, they are all really wealthy, blah blah blah. Sht I had no interest in, at all. She gave me a vibe; either her kids are all bums and she's making the whole thing up or she doesn't even have kids. Oh and we spoke Afrikaans for a second. She seemed thrilled to have met someone with whom she can speak Afrikaans.

The prospective landlord also told me that they found all their furniture in the dumpster. Strike... What number are we at now? She offered me a ride to the buses. She told me she loves my vibe, well, what's not to love lol. I was thinking, sadly, the feeling is not mutual! Thanks, anyway! She told me she is done showing the room, she found her tenant. I thought to myself, nobody wants your dodgy room, sweetie, I know you guys have had it advertised for a month now, so please! By the way, her man dropped by. He looked mad as hell, like he was ready to punch a hole into the door. Granted, I don't know the guy, maybe that's his resting face. Shout out to all the mad faced resting face people! I've been told I'm unapproachable myself, so I know how it feels. I got a call from Hunter. He wanted to know which area I was at, so he could meet me somewhere close by. I told him. He went to the Starbucks in the neighborhood. As the girl insisted on dropping me off, I told her to take me there. She gave me about three hugs when we were about to part. She seemed like she was ready to burst out crying. Awww, cute! She missed me already! #GetMeOuttaHere!

She asked me to let her know that night if I was taking the place, I could move in the following day. She told me that she could give me a ride to the hostel, where we could pick up my stuff, and I could move in there and then if I liked. I felt so overwhelmed! She wouldn't give me space to breathe! P.S. The apartment is not walking distance from the Strip as was advertised. It would have taken me 20 minutes by bus stop to the strip. I checked on maps. That's not walking distance!

I got off the car, called Hunter to tell him I was outside. There were so many people at that Starbucks. I wasn't about to start scouring people's faces trying to figure out which one is Hunter. He didn't pick up when I called but popped out and Boom! He was right in front of me. Tink, tink, tink! Suddenly, I was hearing bells ringing softly, ever so gently, stars all around me, handsomeness. I must have died and gone to heaven! Hi! I think he reached out to shake my hand, but I opted to bless him with my well endowed bosom, and gave him a hug haha! He had a cap on. On his online picture, he had a hat on. Does this guy have a bald spot? Who cares, as B.B. King sings, You can leave your hat on! We went back to his table by the window. He had asked me while I was on my way, if I wanted him to order me my iced coffee, so that by the time I got there, it would be ready. I thought, aaaawww, sweet! I don't drink coffee, or anything for that matter, just water. So I told him I'll just have Ice water. It was still hot as hell. Those Starbucks tables for two are really small! I sat on them once in Hollywood during lunch break from the Judge Judy show with an extremely hot friend of mine. I don't know if sitting at a table with a hot person you wanna make out with, makes it that much smaller or those tables are really small!

This man was sitting across from me, he had his elbows on the table and his face rested on his hands, his eyes, which are such a work of art; I mean you can see every line; every different shade of green, hazel and where which color begins and ends, were looking deeply into mine. Into my soul!  In my life, I never felt so bare before, well, maybe when  I first met the guy I was at Starbucks, Hollywood with. That was not our first meeting. When we first met, he looked me like no one ever did before. I still have a soft spot for him, because there's something about how he looks at me. Or about how I feel when he looks at me. Oh, Christ! Anyway! Back to Starbucks, West Side, Las Vegas. Hunter complemented me on my eyes and smile, and great skin. Things, I thought were great about him! I sat there, melting. Slowly. Inside. He asked me a few questions about myself. He automatically took charge of the conversation. Normally, I'm the one who does that. I don't really want to, but someone has to, so I end up asking all the questions and all the other person does is answer and go, 'and you?' Some ass holes don't even ask and you, they enjoy talking about their lames ass selves.

I finished my water, and asked for some more. When we were done, Hunter told me that he was going for a dip in the pool. He invited me over. I was like, 'So you're asking me if I want to get naked in front of you today?' He laughed and said, you're not just beautiful and funny, you're smart too! I thought, Lord, enough with the compliments, I'm dying here. If I had any underwear on that day, if would have landed on the floor. Talk about an automatic panty dropper! This dude was laughing at all my jokes. He had a sense of humor, thank Goodness, finally! He was funny too. I had a couple of good laughs and when I was laughing, he would stare at me like he's never seen someone laugh before. It was magical! I politely declined the pool invite. He told me he was going to cook that night, he knows I said I was staying at a hostel, maybe I would like a home cooked meal. I accepted. I love how guys always cook for me! It's the best!

He took me to the hostel, I told him how nice it was to meet him and gave him a hug. He was like, wait, aren't you coming with me? That's when I realised, oh sht, I'm going to the pool with him, then dinner. By accepting dinner invitation, I automatically got myself trapped into going to the pool with him. Sht! Oh well, whatevz! I told him I needed to freshen up. He waited in the parking lot while I showered and changed into something poolly! I don't know how to swim, so I just put on a skirt, tank top and flip flops.



Friday, January 23, 2015

And That's How The Cookie Crumbled

All in all, it had been a nice first day as a Nevada Resident. I went back to the room, did some house hunting online, then went to sleep.

There were lots of places available near to The Strip aka Las Vegas Boulevard, which is where I was looking because, well, I didn't move to Vegas to live deep in the valley far away from it all. Plus, I needed to be close to public transportation. I made a few phone calls. Most of the apartments in the neighborhood were under rental agencies. They wanted me to provide proof of employment. Well, mam, I don't have one! I just moved to town in hopes of getting a job once I settle into my apartment! One of the agencies wanted me to pay Three times one month's rent, because I didn't have proof of employment. I thought about it for a moment, but then again, I was like that's too much money to entrust a random person with. What if when it's time to move out, they come up with stories and I lose all that money? I decided to let them be my last resort. 

I did a little bit of research while I was still in LA and saw tons of accommodation where they would be like a small deposit, or no deposit, month to month, no lease. Where were all those places now that I was in Vegas? I decided to look some more. If all else failed, I cold always just pay daily at the hostel until I found my own place. 

It was very hot! Vegas in hot in the summer, yo, this place doesn't play! I have experienced some hot summers, and Vegas Summer may be the hottest. I mean, the Summer in Utah was pretty up there as well and the one in Akhaltsikhe, Georgia. Is it me, or are the summers getting hotter? I mean, I wouldn't know, every summer, I'm in a different location altogether; 2014 - I was in Las Vegas, Nevada, 2013 - Salt Lake City, Utah, 2012 - New Haven, Connecticut, 2011 - Akhaltsikhe, (republic of) Georgia, 2011 - Uitenhage, South Africa (two summers and two winters in 2011 because I moved from one county to another during the  summer while it was winter in the other country and vice versa). I watched the backpackers check in and out of the hostel, going oit on excursions and stuff. I let some of them use my phone during meal times. I have unlimited calls, texts and internet. The hostel charges an arm and a leg for local calls, I didn't mind. 

It is pretty busy, that hostel. Busier than the one on Hollywood Boulevard I stayed at. It could also be the time of year I stayed at the different hostels. People were sleeping in the daytime and going out at night. Brilliant idea, considering the heat during the day. I wasn't on vacation, so I was on a totally different schedule. The room was always dark, blinds and curtains were always closed cos there was always someone sleeping. I thought that was fair.You want light? Go outside! There's plenty of it and a side of heat for free ninety nine!

I had changed my location details on the dating site weeks before moving to LA to Vegas. I started hearing from Vegas guys from then. I use the word guys loosely. In my opinion, there are guys and then there are, I don't know, others? I remember hearing from this man while I was still in LA who seemed very interested in me. He wanted me not to even bother looking for a place of my own to stay but to move in with him AND HIS MOM. Yeah, that'll be a no. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, burnt it, threw away the ashes. Thanks though, boo boo! The guy is two years older than me, so age appropriate, for a great change but! And there's a big BUTT BUT! Everything else wasn't going to work for me nor him for that matter. First, we chatted via email, then he asked for my number, he wanted to talk on the phone. I was like this guy is serious, I likey!

While Chatting with Mama's boy, I was also talking to another guy. He was older. He told me he doesn't do endless texting and email exchange. He wanted to talk over the phone. I was like, sure, why not? I mean, if he's a creeper, I can always block his ass. He gave me his number and asked me to call him. I don't know if it's me, America or the times but I see a lot of guys here who give girls their numbers and 'asks' them to call them. By ask, I mean, they say, 'call me!' So, basically, it's not even asking, they give girls their numbers and tell them to call them. I decided to text the man and have him call me. I just texted, 'hi, SoAndSo, it's Brook'. He asked, Brook from where? I was like WTF? We just exchanged emails. I didn't say that to him but I sure thought it. I just texted him back lol. Meaning, well, whatever you want it to mean, it differs from case to case. He called me and apologised for his text, saying he didn't mean to be rude. I asked if he knew who he was talking to. He said, you're the one with a kid, right? Definitely not! He asked me which one I was. I told him that unless he knows who he is talking to, I wasn't going to continue with that conversation. I said bye and hung up.

He texted back immediately, 'Sorry, Brook. I'm about to enter the freeway. It's very noisy where I am, I couldn't hear you clearly. I don't want to lose you. You're such a beautiful woman. I'm flattered you even want to talk to talkl to me. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy." Cute and all but at the risk of sounding like an obnoxious celebrity, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I never responded to his text. He was too all over the place for me, plus I had packing to do. He called back in about ten minutes. He seemed to have figured out who I was. He probably went back to his emails and put two and two together. Like 90% older man in Vegas, he is a war veteran. Not that old! Some of the are in their forties. The ones I've talked to are all unemployed and getting some kind of a check from the government that they are very proud of. While we were talking on the phone, I heard a familiar sound; it was the bus ticket machine, soon after that, I heard the voice thingy that tells you what the next stop is etc. I asked him where he was. He told me he had just gotten on the bus. What?!?!?!?!!? When he told me he was about to get on the freeway, I assumed he was driving. Didn't you?

I hate to say it, but when I heard that, I just rolled my eyes. That was one more nail on the coffin. That and the fact that at his age, he was neither working nor trying to find a job. What am I going to do with an unambitious man like that? He's not too old to work! He told me he was released from the army forever ago, because of some minor injury. As we were talking, he mentioned that he does work downtown Vegas as a volunteer peacemaker or something like that. The people love and respect him there. When he tells people to pick up trash after themselves, they do it! Whoop de fcking doo! That's how I wanna spend the rest of my life. Listening to him tell me how may people he forced to pick up their gum after they threw it on the sidewalk for no pay! I could care less! I don't want his money but I would like him to value his time more than working 40 hours for free. Doing the same thing other people do for money, but for no pay. That's just ridiculous to me. This reminds me of when I was getting kicked out of Cindy's house by her husband. When the Mormon Bishop told me that he could get me a full time job where I would work for a plate of food. God forgive me for what I just said to the Bishop in my head, Amen!

The older guy and I talked for about 30 minutes. Half of it was repeats because I think he is hard of hearing. Probably age because, quite honestly he lookes 15-20 years older than he said he was; or something happened during his army days, what with all the banging from the machines and bombs. What do I know, I'm just a girl from Africa. He mentioned that he was on his way to his sister's house to help her out because he loves to help people. Ok, whatever! nobody cared about that! I don't care how good a person you think or say you are. Prove it! Surprise me with your actions of kindness, don't preach it! So to keep the conversation going, I asked him how far his sister lived from him, if she had a family of her own. I mean, why would you have to go all the way to your sister's house by bus to help her around her house if she is married? I had to ask. He told me that that was personal, it was none of my business and that I had crossed the line. He got very worked up about that. I apologized, rolling my eyes. I mean, at this point, that's all I can do having dealt with all the kinds of loonies I have. We ended the call, and that was that.

I continued packing quickly. I had a show to go to that afternoon. The younger guy guy called. He told me he just wants one thing from me, and it will be a done deal. Like, I can move in with him and his mother. As if I said I needed a place to stay. He asked if I could..Oh Lord, my skin crawls just thinking about this. Yuucckkk! First, I asked him to please not ask me anything sexual. I'm not about that! he told me it wasn't sexual, it's just something that he likes. He really likes it. It's not a big deal, I probably, won't mind doing it. I tell ya, I had a weird feeling about this. I literally was panting up and down, freaking the freak out! He asked me if  I would mind spitting loogies on his face when we're together. Now, here's the thing; I had never heard of this term until then, but he used spit, so I knew it was something I wanted no part of! I never want to spit on anyone, don't wanna think about spit, talk about it, or even think about it. For those, who may never heard of this word before; I'll save you the time to google search and, share with you the 'top description' of the word from the internet (Yuck Alert!) ; TOP DEFINITION 
a large slimy glob of spit, mixed with nose snot, that is formed by coughing up and hocking whats in your throat. 

He went on to tell me that he wanted me to chew up some food and mix it with the grossness and spit it on his face. I was like, are you nuts? Noooooo! I will never do that to anyone! I told you not to talk about anything sexual, this, right here, is sexual! It's your fetish, that's sexual. WTF dude! He got really mad, he said that  I was judging him blah blah blah. I said, listen, dude, I don't know you, you don't know me. I am not here to tell you what to like and what not to like. Go ahead and like your gross stuff but I want no part of it. If this is what you're into, it's obviously a big deal to you and a deal breaker, which is fine by me. He told  me that his exes all did it, they didn't mind. It's not a big deal. I told him, it is. He had told me that he is 39 or so, had been married for 15 years since he was 25. He has a 25 year old from the marriage. Being the quick witted, smarty pants that I am, I added up the figures and had to ask how long he had been divorced for, you know, to see if it all adds up. so far, it wasn't because, it meant that he was 14 when his son was conceived or even 13. Which doesn't add up because he was 25 when he got married. Anyway, He told me he had been divorced for 2 years or whatever. My point is, this dude was all over the place. Clearly he was due for some loogie action. Overdue. He got mad and hung up. HE hung up on ME!

Then he texted me, and apologized, he told me this wasn't a deal breaker for him, I didn't have to comit just yet. If I can just tell him I will think about it. This guy is on some welfare situation, he sits on the couch all day and watches tv and plays video games. I told him it would never work out. Bye Felicia!

So that's how the cookie crumbled with those two guys, but I was still talking to others here and there. You know how internet dating is, well, or you don't, in which case, keep it that way! I got an email from a really cute guy. as the one and only, Elvis Presley sings,
'Well, Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy Miss Clawdy
Girl, you sure look good to me
But, please, don't excite me, baby...' Dude sure excited me! I was like, what have we here! Green eyes, you know, I like them blue, but I'll take beautiful eyes any color I can get them! He had long hair and amazing skin. I responded to his email not expecting anything in return. HE WROTE ME BACK! And again, and again and........



















Monday, January 05, 2015

Why Be So Nasty And So Rude

In the words of Kevin Hart in  Think Like a Man Too, "this is Vegas!"

I checked in at the hostel, I had already booked a bed for my first week in Vegas whereby I would be looking for a place to live. I would then take it from there. They have storage for giant luggage pieces in the office. I left my big pieces there and took my carry on with me, laptop, headphones etc. I was going to have 9 roommates after all. Never be caught unprepared! There were two people or so in the room when I got there. I said hi. One responded, one didn't. What are you gonna do? Maybe they have headphones on, maybe they are focused on something and didn't hear me, maybe they are deaf, maybe they don't understand English, maybe they don't feel like saying hi, maybe, maybe, maybe.

I picked a bed. Since boarding school, I have always liked the top bunk. The thought of someone stepping on my bed with their dirty feet, or better yet, shoes on my bedding, didn't sit well with me. I want to be the person who steps on people's bed. As the late Mahatma Gandhi said, Be the change you want to see in the world. So I be the change! No? That's not what he meant? My bad! Alas, all the top bunks were taken when I got there. It was May 31st, the very beginning of Summer. I expected the place to be busy. I was just happy they had a bed for me. I found a bed in the middle of the dorm with two beds on either side of me, so I had people from three top bunks step on my bed to get to the top. You know what they say about not focusing on what you don't want? Well... It was all good though. You can't have a stick up your ass when you travel a lot. You've got to be open minded and easy going. Especially if you stay in hostels. If you want to be high maintenance, book a private hotel room!

I freshened up in our only shower in the room. One shower and toilet for 10 people. Problem? No problem! We are backpackers, we'll make it work. We're grateful to have indoor plumbing. Most of people in hostels have been in the roughest places anyways. That's what I like about hosteling. Not a word, I know, well, I think. It's not highlighted though. I guess it is a word. Hosteling, mh, whoda thunk it? Now that is really not a word! At east, not officially.


I went for a walk and took pictures along The Strip. It was very, very hot. I didn't go too far. I went as far as the closest fast food restaurant, Burger King. I grabbed a burger and Ice cream. I am not a big fan of Ice cream. Maybe I no longer have the sweet tooth I used to have growing up. You will seldom see me buying candy, I am not those girls who can't go so many days without eating chocolate, and I don't drink Soda or coffee. Here and there, I drink, Green tea, Peppermint tea and or Chamomile tea. All herbal teas for the health benefits and I don't add sugar. Anyway, on my way back to the hostel, I thought to myself, I'm in Vegas! What am I going to do for the rest of the evening? I called The old man that I was supposed to meet up with on my birthday trip to Vegas in April. Remember him? Tortoise? The one who performed an entire blues song over the phone for me the first time we spoke on the phone? Well, there was no speaking, he performed the song and then hung up. He picked up. I was like,

Me:    hhhhiiiiiii!
Tort:  Yes!
Me:    How are you? Long Time!
Tort:  What do you want?
Me:    What the heck! What?
Tort:  You heard me! What do you want?
Me:    Uhm, you don't want me to call you? I thought I'd just call and say hi!
Tort:  Oh, hi.
Me:    Why be so nasty and so rude? Just Kidding, those are Nene's words. I                   should've said that though. Why are you so cold to me right now?
Tort:  Brook, you came to Vegas and left without seeing me!You didn't even call
          me while you were here.
Me:    I did call you. I called you the very first day I arrived in Vegas.
Tort:  And you never called me again.
Me:   Tortoise, you have my number and two phones; a house phone and a                     cellphone, you could've called me as well. You have my email address, you           could've emailed me. Why are you making it my responsibility to call?
Tort:  I was waiting for you to call me when you had a chance to meet up, Instead,           you left without meeting me
Me:    Well, I'm here now!
Tort:  Here where?
Me:    Here in Vegas?
Tort:  You're in Vegas? You're not in Vegas! You went back to LA last month!
Me:   So you're gonna tell me I'm not here even though, I myself am telling you that
          I'm here.
Tort:  What are you doing here?
Me:   Well, I am going to live here, I just moved here
Tort:  When:
Me:  Today. I arrived a few hours ago.
Tort:  Where are you going to stay?
Me:  I'm staying at the hostel on Las Vegas Boulevard.
Tort:  Which hotel, the strip is full of hotels?
Me:   Hostel not hotel.
Tort:  I can't believe this. That must be temporary, where are you going to stay                 after?
Me:   I am looking for a place, maybe a studio apartment or a furnished room.
Tort:  Well, you know, I don't have beds in my house. What's your budget?
Me:   No, no no no! I didn't call to ask for a place to stay, I will rent a place closer            to the strip. I'll be fine!
Tort:  You'd better be careful, it's dangerous here, do you have pepper spray?
Me:   No!
Tort:   A Gun?
Me:  Tortoise, please, I just arrived. I will be making this place my home for a
         while, please don't dampen my spirits now. It's too early for that!
Tort: It's the truth, you're gonna need such things here especially as a woman                alone.
Me:  Anyway, talk to you later.Thanks for taking my call(aintNobodygottimeforthat)
Tort:   Wait, what are you doing tonight?
Me:    Probably sleeping!
Tort:  Come here! I'll email you my address.
Me:   Uhm, no! You come here!
Tort:  Ok. I'll come get you!
Me:   Yeah, I'm not coming to your place though, so
Tort:  Let's go grab dinner or something. I'll buy you a burger
Me:   Heck no! No burgers!
Tort:  A pizza?
Me:   No, tortoise, if you want to take me out, take me to an actual restaurant,                  none of that fast food business. No dollar menu items. I can buy that myself
Tort:  (giggled) ok, I'll take you to a nice restaurant close to my house.
Me:   There are lots of restaurants on the Strip. We can go there.
Tort:  Why don't I come there, then we'll figure something out? Text me your                    address.
Me:  Ok, sure. Call me when you get here. Cheers!

I headed back to the room. Put on a dress and some sandals. I was still tired and it was too hot to dress up. I just wanted to look decent. He arrived in about 30 minutes. He called when he was at the parking lot. I grabbed my purse and headed out. I was happy to have something to do that night and to finally meet Tortoise after all the time we had been talking on line and over the phone. Before he hung up, he asked me again, how tall I was. I told him I am 6'4, which I obviously am not. That's 193cm or 1.9m. I did tell him eventually, how tall I am. He lied and told me he was shorter than he is. I guess his height is his thing. He couldn't wait to show it off. Forgetting the fact that he's a hundred years old. There should come a point in time where vanity subsides and you lead either with your charm or your pocket. Don't judge me, I'm just saying!

He got out of the car, he is tall, about 6'3. He had a pink button down shirt on, which he folded on the sleeves, a hat, long hair that's tied to a pony, knee long shorts and sneakers. It sounds kinda out there on paper, but he made it work. He looked ok. You could tell he was comfortable. It's his style, I guess because, that's how he was dressed in his online pictures. We hugged and I tried not to run for the hills. He is quite in shape but there's something about the face that, I don't know. He's not ugly, there's no such thing as ugly anyway. At least, in my opinion. He looked too old, I think... or something. We chatted in the parking lot for a second. He said let's get in the car and go eat. First, he commented on how short I am. I'm thinking to myself, Shut the f*ck up! You're old, what the heck! The nerve!

He was playing music in the car. You know me, I can be an old soul when it comes to music. I happened to know and like what he was playing. It was Bob Dylan. I commented on the music. He brought up the subject of me being his backup singer again. I was like, here we go! He told me that he is looking for an attractive lady to be his backup singer, and he thinks I fit the bill. Aw, so kind! We got on the freeway. I was like are we going to Salt Lake City? That's when I saw the sign. He was like no, do you wanna go there? I told him I have friends there, I wouldn't mind. He just laughed. Before I knew it we were pulling up in front of his house. He told me he needed to pick up something and asked if I wanted to get in. I told him that it was very nice of him to offer, but no thanks. I mean, WTF? Didn't I tell this man over and over again that I didn't want to go to his house? Who takes a girl to their house on the very first meeting? Never mind, rhetorical question.

He soon came out. We went to a casino not to far from his house, picked a restaurant and had dinner there. We were sitting, waiting for our food and just talking. He was checking out my energy, apparently, he has this talent to pick up on people's energies. He told me that when I first met him I was scared. Er, ya think? People are uneasy when they meet, this is not rocket science. He told me that I was easing up to him, but was still not there yet. Again, not rocket science! You must see what he does to pick up these vibes though. I had to put my hands facing up as if I am begging. he hovered his hangs over mine as if they have a magnet or something. He grew up in the sixties, he's a hippie. And it's ok. It was until, he tried to remove something on me with his own saliva. He literally spat on his finger and aimed. I was like, hold up! It's ok! I'm fine, thanks! Sht!

While we were still checking each other's energies and stuff, I happen to glance at the tv and who do I see sitting in the front row of Judge Judy's Courtroom? ME! I was like, oh my gosh, there I am! He went, I be damned! He saw me as well. He was so excited. I think he wanted to tell people in the restaurant that I was on tv. But he was able to contain himself. Imagine if he acted like he didn't hear me when I told him there I was lol. That would have made for an awkward moment. I've had that happen to me haha. I ordered Steak and Shrimp, Fries and Veggies, green beans or something green. I can't remember what he had. Food was ok.

After dinner, it was late already. We were there for quite a while. I had been talking to Tortoise for a while so we didn't run out of things to talk about. We had a nice, friendly gel going on. He took me straight home after dinner. He told me he had a good time and suggested we do it again. I was game. I was saying a silent prayer, please, Lord, don't let him try to kiss me. Please, Lord, don't let him try to kiss me, please Lord...































Thursday, December 25, 2014

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

After submitting the key to the maintenance guy, the office was closed. I said good-bye to my place. Not too long thereafter, my ride arrived. We had a nice drive to Union Station. No traffic, or any funny business. I dragged my heavy luggage all the way across the station to the bus stop. Not cute, but I'm used to that by now. Trust me! I was moving, so I was definitely not traveling light! I had to book two seats in order for me to check in two pieces of luggage. So I did. That was also going to guarantee me an empty seat next to me, which is a gem when traveling long distance.

  I was an hour early. I like being early, it took a lot of practice but I am finally there. Before, I used to make it just in time wherever I was going but it's so much better to be early. Nobody wants to be the only sweaty, out of breath person at the bus stop. In winter! You end up not even knowing if it's cold outside or what. By the time you calm down, you're freezing, it's a hot mess that I am so done with.

I love that they have outlets to charge our eletronics on the bus. That, to me is more important that wireless. which they also have but apparently no video streaming. Which, if I'm gonna use the internet on the bus, is what I would like to do. Some people need the internet though, so, it's a nice benefit. There was a bunch of teenagers in front of me, who where speaking Dutch. I understood 80% of what they were saying. They were goofy but I didn't want to be that creepy grown up who's laughing at their private conversation but I did ask if they were speaking Dutch. They were surprised that I understood them and were grateful it wasn't anything that was meant for their ears only. At this day in age, especially in big cities where there are always tourist, one should never assume that nobody else but you speaks the language.

Some guy was asking around for his bus. He wasn't taking the same bus as us. We had never heard of the bus he was looking for and in big cities like LA, Vegas, New York, you never know. It could be he isn't even looking for the bus. I decided not to even make eye contact. I didn't want to get involved. He had one backpack with him and looked like he just woke up. An hour later, it was time to get on the bus. When you check in, they give you a number. When it's time to board the bus, we go in according to the numbers on our cards. If you're nice and early, you have first dibs on where you would like to seat. If you're a bus taker like me, those things count. I almost always sit on the same seat though, funny enough. I have also noticed that even on the local buses here in Vegas, I seat on the same seats.

As they were loading our luggage, I noticed that the gentleman from earlier on, about an hour prior who was looking for his bus was still out there. He looked sad. I assumed he missed his bus. I had a feeling to approach him and find out if he's ok, so I quickly stepped out and talked to him. He was shocked when I just stood in front of him out of the blue. I think he was deep in thought. He told me that he had missed his bus and had to wait until 4pm for the next one. It was around 10am. Also, they probably were going to make him buy another ticket at 4, what it that bus was full? I wished him luck and on my way back to the bus asked the driver if they could let him use my spare ticket. My thing is, I don't make promises. I would rather surprise you. I wasn't gonna tell him I was going to get him on the bus, what if the driver was going to say no? I didn't want to raise his hopes like that. The driver was like, your ticket is so that you can take two large pieces of luggage with you; which you do, so no. I told him that the guy only had the small backpack with him, we could pretend as if my 2nd luggage is his and let him sit on the seat that came with my second ticket. I mean I did pay two full fares after all. The driver was kind enough to agree.  I was so happy . The guy wasn't even aware of what was going on. I went back to him and told him to come on. The driver was almost done loading too, so it was time to go. ! He brought his bag in and came and sat next to me.

Once we were settled in, he asked me what's going on. I explained to him. He was so touched, he told me that people don't do that kind of stuff anymore, he was humbled that I did that for a perfect stranger. I was like, well, I guess they still do! haha. He told me his story. He had just moved to Vegas from Chicago. He lost his job over there and everything. He had had a good job. He moved to Vegas where his fiance lives. Not too long after that, he got a job over in LA. He took it. The job was going to pay for accommodation and all that, so he didn't have anything to worry about. The whole thing turned out to be a scam. As soon as he could, he bought a ticket back to Vegas, that's when I met him. Poor guy had been through a lot. I was so glad to have made his day. I told him that maybe that was a sign that things were about to make a 180 degrees. He was very interested to hear about South Africa. He knows a lot about her too, he knows a lot about Africa and black history in general. Pretty impressive, actually!

We were both tired. He found an empty seat elsewhere and napped. I did too. When we arrived in Vegas, I was trying to figure out where to take my bus and how I was going to get all the stuff I had with me on. I saw him outside and said bye, he thanked me again and asked if I needed help with my luggage. He helped, I was so grateful. I wasn't expecting any of that. When we got into the station, his fiance was already there. They hugged and all that good stuff. He told me he would be right back. He took his fiance to the side, then came back and his fiance offered me a ride home. Can you believe it?

I was so touched, I could've cried. "People don't do that anymore", right? We arrieved in Vegas at 4pm. The guy was like, if it weren't for you. I would only be leaving LA now! His fiance is so cool too, she's a friendly chick. We exchanged numbers, she told me she was going to put her ear to the ground for me and help me find a job. That was nice to hear. They dropped me right by the main entrance of Hostel Cat on the Las Vegas Strip. I was so happy for that out of nowhere miracle. I mean, if you think about it, the guy didn't even become a burden, he hardly even used the seat next to me, I ended up by myself, so did he. That's why someone, when you are presented with an opportunity to help someone; when you have someone somebody else needs, just give it to them. Don't over-think it because that's when negative feelings like, what if, kick in. At the end of the day, you end up like me, being rewarded withing 5 hours in a way you didn't even see coming.

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it!












































Monday, December 15, 2014

The Hardest Good-bye

As time drew closer for my move, I posted ads on Craig's List, selling whatever pieces of furniture I had. I wasn't taking all that with me! The first thing I sold was the Microwave, It was weird living without it but Carly could buy us one, she was moving locally, why not, right? I didn't suggest, I didn't care. Apparently, neither did she. 

I couldn't find a buyer for the beds in time. Carly asked me about buying one of both the beds. One of them, the one she used was a fold up bed. It would have been a good idea for her or anybody to have such a bed. You can always fold it up and put it in the closet or whatever storage when not using it and use it for guests. That way, people don't have to sleep on the couch. That's just me. I've always liked to be more than prepared. I told her that I would give her a good deal if she wanted to buy them. She couldn't look me in the eye when I said that. I had a feeling she wanted more than a good deal. She wanted them for free. That was not part of the lease! She was shopping for a bed online at the same time. She went to view one in Koreatown. She loved it and it was a steal! She told me that she would buy it that coming weekend. She told me that the couple that was selling it seemed well off. They didn't look like they needed the money, they just had a baby and needed the space for their newborn's crib. She was going to low ball them and see if she could get the bed for close to nothing. I tell you, when I heard that, I could've thrown up! I love a good deal like the next person but there's being a bargain hunter and being a slob. Nothing cute about the latter. Nobody likes a slob! I asked her if she left a deposit with the sellers. She hadn't. She just hoped that they would do right by her and keep the bed for her, with no deposit, nothing. Simply because they didn't look like they needed the money. I thought to myself, this girl has a lot to learn!  

The following day, she texted them asking if they still had the bed. When they told her they did, she started haggling. They agreed on the price she wanted. She then asked them to keep the bed for her a few more days. What a diva! I still can't wrap my head around the nerve of that chick! If I didn't have a lot on my plate, I'd have wished someone would buy that bed at the original price the nice people were selling it for, for the heck of it. Guess what? I didn't have to! Someone did! She came home sad that someone bought her bed. Whatever, blah blah blah, white noise! 

One night, she was talking about a friend of hers, they used to talk on the phone all the time with that chick. That girl gave her two black garbage bin bags full of almost new clothes when she had a baby. Like Carly needed them! More stuff for me to put away for her! She was ever so grateful to that girl. That girl soon quit the job where they worked together. I asked about the girl one night, Carly revealed that they are not really friends but she keeps her around because that girl has a big heart and Carly wanted to keep scoring from that girl. I was shocked and disgusted to hear that. Another friend of hers was about to move to San Francisco. Carly told me that she was going to miss her, she kept in touch with her because she was hoping that the friend was going to give her some stuff that she won't be taking with her when she moved to San Fran. Rude! What kind of a friend is this chick? I thought to myself, she has no sense of loyalty at all! Gross! I thought that she would do the same thing to me too. Why wouldn't she? We'd only known each other for two months. She knew those other girls longer than she did me.

She got herself a credit card from her bank. She needed money to pay for the new apartment. It turned out that she lied about her dad paying her rent for her. She was the one who was helping her dad pay rent back home. I am not sure why she lied but it is what it is. Her sister lost her baby back in Africa. Carly was so sad to hear the news. I asked her if she was going to travel to Africa, she told me it was going to cost her a lot of money. I get it, it's an expensive trip. I suggested she send some money, even if it's a hundred dollars, just to contribute towards the funeral. She was like, yeah, I don't know about that. She doesn't expect any money from me, so she'll be fine. Oh well, I tired! 

One night, she asked if I could give her $100 back from her $150 deposit and keep the $50 for deposit. She said I could just give her whatever change came from the deposit later. I told her that I wasn't going to do that. Security Deposit is for in case something happens by the time we moved out. We hadn't moved out yet. What if something happened between the time I gave her the money and then? She assured me nothing would. I told her, that's not why I charged her a security deposit. I paid it as well. I was going to be nice enough and give hers back as soon as I found out how much they were going to charge me at the apartment after we moved out. I wouldn't wait until I got my deposit back two to three weeks after moving out. I would give her hers asap. She didn't like that idea. I didn't care. She's too obsessed with being selfish. It's not that big a deal. Also, she ruined all my shit, what about all that? Who was going to pay for that? I am not her bank. This is not some reliable savings account. You fck something up, you pay! I am not those people that she did in day in and day out. I got her number and I wasn't going to allow her to treat me like that. And I was done being taken advantage of by roommates. She was too little too late. 

 I was going back and forth in my head about whether I should charge her from the stuff she ruined of mine or for our friendship's sake not do it. I had a headache just thinking about it because, why should our friendship cost me? When I kept hearing her say those not nice things about her supposed friends, I was leaning more towards charging her because that's what you do and she didn't deserve it. She was freewheeling her way through life and paying no consequences. I am not hear to change that for her. I just will not be a part of it. I remember one day, she went to do laundry downstairs. I had let her use my new white laundry bag. She dragged it all the way to the elevator and on the bottom floor to the laundry. Apparently, all the machines were used up. She came back and I saw her dragging the thing back. It was pitch black underneath. That was not my main concern because I expected her to wash it before she returned it. My main concern was that she was going to pick up bedbugs from the hallway and bring them into the apartment, a week before we moved out. Then I would have to get rid of everything because of that silly mistake. I wasn't feeling that. 

I made arrangements with Chris to go store some of my stuff at his place on his day off. It took me a couple of bus rides to take some pieces of luggage over to his. He had plans that evening, so he asked me to move the rest of the stuff day before I moved out. I was grateful to him for all that he was doing for me. I think he wanted me to split the job halfway, so that he would be able to spend time together at a later stage. He didn't want it all to end at once. Good Strategy Christopher! He wanted us to spend my last day in LA with him, I wanted the polar opposite! I was due to move on a Saturday. He wanted to spend Friday together. 

I went to my last show the last Monday of May. Divorce Court and @midnight. It was bitter sweet seeing everybody for the last time. Everybody told me they would see me in Vegas. It's a five hour bus ride from Los Angeles and less by car after all. I arranged with the office where I would leave the keys as I was moving out on a Saturday and the office was going to be closed. Carly wouldn't take a day off to sort out her stuff, pack etc. She worked all day and came home and watched Desperate Housewives on Netflix. #LaDolceVita 

My month started on the first of each month. Carly's didn't really because she moved in four days before the first and stayed those days free of charge. I didn't know she was the Queen of Self Entitlement then but I soon learnt. She asked if she could hand in the keys for me on the first as the month doesn't end until then. My bus was booked, And so was my bed at the Hostel in Las Vegas. I wasn't going to change any of my plans to accommodate someone who is being accommodate at the apartment that she was moving to as well. They had already given her the key a few days in advance there as well. She didn't have to pay all the money that was due because of her problems but she negotiated her way out of that too. Good for her! And me, because I didn't have to feel guilty about her not having a place to move to. She didn't have a bed yet, I had two beds that I was selling. She basically had everything she needed but her ridiculous sense of entitlement wouldn't let her take advantage of it. That's on her. I told her that the lease was under my name and I was going to return the keys when I moved out and that was that. If she wants to be the one returning keys, she should try having the lease under her name and bear the responsibilities that come with that. Plus why would I trust that she was going to do that once I moved out? I think that was another way of her trying to ensure that I paid her her deposit back. She probably wanted to use the keys as leverage. Sorry, boo boo, not gonna happen! You're knocking on the wrong door! She batted her eyelashes and pretended to be freaked out that she didn't know how she was going to get everything to her place during the night. I didn't care. I had given her three weeks notice. More than I should have. She had ample time. Desperate Housewives could've waited. Or Not, it's all up to her, really. I had my own stuff to deal with and that was not one of them.

I moved my stuff to Chris', he came by to help me. I really didn't want him to. He insisted as usual. As soon as he walked into my place, he game me the third degree about all kinds of stuff that had nothing to do with him. And would have nothing to do with me in 24 hours. He took a seat, I don't know why he was getting comfortable. We were on our way out. He asked if I could play him a song, or two or three. F*ck! I did. Song I'd never heard of. I pried myself in knowing music, all kinds. If I have heard a song before, I will recognise it when I hear it again. It doesn't matter if I last heard it when I was 3, or in the womb. Or in my past life. I tell ya though, the songs this dude came up with, I had never heard of. I never wanna hear them again, either. He got so excited when I told him I didn't know those songs, he wanted to educate me, and have me listen to more and more weird, songs. I was like, listen, this is the last song I'm playing for you. This is not why you said you were coming here. I will not waste time on this. Time is of the essence. He asked me to play me one more and then another and another one, until, I got up and walked towards the door. Screw it! You can't win with these people. They always want something! Their desires are unquenchable!

When we got to his house, I didn't stay, he wanted to have lunch. I told him no, I have to go and I walked out the door. He told me he was going to miss me, asked if he could come visit, his rich South African friend, who lives in Vegas invited him a long time ago. He wants to come see us both. I told him not to tell his friend about me. I want peace in my life. He kept pushing me to agree to him coming to visit. That's probably how he got that poor rich friend to invite him. I told him that maybe he should start by visiting his rich friend first.  He went on again about loneliness and how he has no friends. I got fed up and told him that if he polished up on his social skills, people will want to be around him. He kept cutting me off, going on and on about nothing. I was like, see, like now! You're cutting me off to talk about something you've talked about forever, nobody wants to listen to that. By Felicia! I gave him a hug, thanked him for everything and left. 

I headed back to my place. I had a few more items that needed to be taken to Chris'. I asked if I could take them there the following day just before I left. He offered to go with me to Union station and send me off. I couldn't have that. I had to cut ties. It was a matter of life or death at that point. He told me that he has a bus pass that allows him to rent a cab and only pay $3 to the driver. He told me he could arrange that for me. I told him that I was already set ride-wise. He asked who was going to take me to the station. Is it a friend of mine? Is he male of female? Is he black or white? Ohhhhh! #killme He said we could drop the stuff off with my friend on our way to the station, he could also come with us. I had to think fast to get out of that. Every time I came up with an excuse, he came up with a solution that suited him. Shoot! 

I had a number of people who wanted to buy the beds, I had dropped the price tremendously at that point. Problem is, people were working. They were going to be available the following day to come pick the beds up. I was leaving around 6 in the morning. It was just not going to work.Carly worked overtime the night before the move. She hadn't packed a thing. She had a modeling rehearsal the following morning like at 7. I get why she needed one more day but nothing I could do would help her. I wasn't going to even try.

I was beat that night, and finally went to sleep on the floor. I had cleaned up the apartment very well, and had put my bed on its side, to make sure nothing was left behind, under the bed or something. I must have been fast asleep when Carly got home and started packing. I didn't hear a thing. She woke me up when she was sleeping. I tear up just thinking about that moment. It was so sad to say goodbye to her. That moment, her waking me up in my sleep to say goodbye, and me not knowing if and when I would see her again...it was like when I was a kid and someone was leaving, it happened so many times what with my family living all over the place. It was a too familiar unwelcome feeling. I literally just broke down and cried. She cried too. It was a sad moment. I never thought I would be that sad saying goodbye to a roommate. I have had the worst experiences with roommates and the worst chemistry, but I will say this about her, Carly was my best roommate so far. We just clicked from day one and it never stopped. She was like a sister to me. I hated her as much as I loved her. 

Hold on, I gotta wipe my tears and drink some water.........

Ok, whew! I'm back. By the way, Friday night, My Georgian friend/sister, came by to say goodbye. She and her daughter, who I adore, she is so sweet. They both are. they came by, called from outside. The plan was that I would go over to hers after dropping off stuff at Goodwill but I didn't have time to go there, so I just put the stuff in Paper bags and dropped it outside by a street pole at a busy intersection for whoever wants them to grab them. We talked for a bit, took some pictures and kissed each other nakhvamdis (goodbye in Georgian). I told you I know sh*t! Don't test me, I will surprise you! Over and over again haha.It was nice of them to walk all the way to my place when I couldn't go to theirs. She's a true friend that chick. Real as hell. 

Carly left around 5am. It felt like it was still midnight because I was so pooped. I walked her to the main entrance of the apartment block. She had a sh*tload of plastic bags with her. Apparently she had already taken some of her stuff with her. She had to rush to her new place, freshen up and then head for the modeling place. She was going to do runway. I really wanted to be there, but my wardrobe collapsed and I decided to move before that. What can I say? Life happens haha. That was a sad moment, but I had no time to wallow in self pity. I had to do finishing touches and get going. When she left she told me that two months prior, when she moved into that place, she didn't know that two months later, she would be so sad to part ways with me. She never knew that someone could have that kind of a connection with a roommate. I felt exactly the same way. Great! Time to wipe tears and drink some water again, be right back, yall...

Aaaanyway! I took the beds outside and dropped them by the dumpster. It was a hell of a mission, I tell you. I literally threw away my beds. I could've given Carly one, but the bed conversation just went weird, so.  I cleaned up where her bed was and her closet. She had left some of my household stuff she was using, ruined and broken, I guess for me to dispose of myself now that she was done with it. Later, I texted Chris and asked him to come pick up the rest of my stuff. He agreed. Bless his heart. He was at mine in no time. He lay on the floor. I was playing Brenda Fassie on the laptop. To celebrate our South Africanness. He liked that. For the first time since I met him, he went quiet and listened to music. There is a God after all! He asked if my friend and I could drop him off with the stuff on our way to the station. Here we go again! I told him no, we wouldn't be able to. If we were, we would have dropped the stuff off ourselves. I wouldn't have asked him to come all the way to Hollywood. It's not far but you know what I mean. He asked if he could hang out and listen to music while I get ready until my ride arrived. Oh Lord! I told him that he could hang around while I showered. As soon as I was done, I would walk him to the bus stop. I mean, seriously! WTF kind of person is this? You can never get rid of him!

I was praying that my ride not be early. I know for a fact, he would have been so forward and asked them to drop him off. It would have been helluva awkward. Soon as I was done showering, I got dressed in the bathroom. I walked him to the bus and bade him farewell. "Call me when you get thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

I ran back up to the apartment, 



















 




























































Obama Care

Fortunately, I was able to get rid of Chris before walking into my apartment block main entrance. Whew!

We stood there for a minute, both wishing we were on the other side for different reasons. I stalled a little bit and bade him farewell until he finally got it through his thick skull that it was time to go by bye. 

I went upstairs to my apartment and continued packing. I must stay I've gotten really good at it, having moved 20 times in the past three years. Dang, I didn't realise it was that many times! That's not even including the one week stays here and there. My gosh! And to think I am making plans to move again! Aaaanyway!

I got a call from Rancho, remember him, the wife killer ? He was just calling to say hi, blah. I told him I wanted to see him. He half joked and asked if I was going to give him some. Of course, I said, yes. Clearly, I'm a slut, so let's play along! He was like, 'really?' I said, Sure, why not? He asked me to buy him soda, he was driving, he wanted to try and beat traffic, he would pay me back. Again, 'sure'! I didn't know if he was really going to come. Turns out, he really was on his way. That guy is serious about getting laid. I hadn't seen him in more than a month, maybe even more. He had lost weight, he looked a bit taller too. Not hotter, just less weight and more height, that's it! He couldn't look me in the eye. That is one guy, of all the people I've ever known in my life, who could never look me in the eye! I don't know if it's his thing or just me. He does have some kind of a lazy eye situation. That's not the issue though, cos none of his eyes make eye contact with me. 

We went to the apartment. He asked where my roommate was. As if to imply he was down for a threesome. Dude, come on now! You and I have never and will never even be engaged in a two some, why are you being so ambitious right now? I just told him she was at work, she would be back much later. He hopped into bed with his shoes on.I was like, really, right now? With your shoes on? He took the shoes off, and jumped back into bed, said he was feeling hot (it wasn't hot), he pulled his shirt all the way up, unhooked his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Dude meant business! He didn't drive all the way to Hollywood through LA Traffic to just hang out. He wanted to get laid! I pretended not to notice any of those shenanigans. I told him I was going to be moving to Vegas in a couple of weeks. I was fiddling on the laptop as I was talking to him. He, on the other hand was doing a strip tease behind me.

There is nothing more of a turn on, to me at least, than a guy who obviously just wants to get laid! Oh my goodness! That's like a guy who brings a condom when he comes to see you. Are you joking? Someone you have never ever slept with, brings a condom when he comes to hang out with you. F*ck you, asshole! I am not saying, don't be prepared but to come prepared to my f*cking house! Go be prepared elsewhere.This is not a whorehouse! What, you are so convinced I'm gonna give up the goods, you thought you were finally gonna use that ragged ass condom, you've had for years just before it expires? Fat chance! The last guy who did that to me in Georgia, had that condom opened up and stuffed in his mouth. Bringing a condom when you come over to my place, is like pushing my head towards your crotch when we make out. Like, WTF? Why are you trying to get head right now? We're just kissing, it ain't that serious? Take a cold shower, pervert! Just the thought of it, pisses me off. The thought that you think I want to suck your privates makes my stomach turn. You should feel honored I am letting you kiss me. Let's not get carried away now! Bye girl, bye!

After fiddling on the PC, and coincidentally playing music that Rancho likes. He was so surprised that a girl from Africa even knows those songs. I was surprised that a square like him knows music, like any songs at all.He tried to kiss me but I had already noticed that his teeth were kinda funky that night. Nothing is more of a turn off!So after fiddling on the PC, I turned around and said, 'let's go to the beach!' He was like, really? Am I gonna get laid when we come back? I said, sure! He got dressed. We headed downstairs to the car. I asked to pose for some selfies on our way out. He was driving the late wife's car, the SUV. We drove down Santa Monica Boulevard, that was street. It goes all the way to the Beach. I love night time drives. The lights make any town look amazing at night. I remember being out in Georgia for the first time at night. It looked amazing, we couldn't stop taking pictures. We were busy with training during the day for the entire week, so we could only go out at night. When we finally went out in the day time, we were like, uhm?!?!!??!!?

Rancho was yawning all the way to the beach, it wasn't cute at all. I was getting nervous. I've seen him sleep drive before. I wasn't in the mood for that again. And I felt bad because he still had to take me back home and then go to his place. As soon as we arrived to the weirdest, most darkest part of the beach, he made a U-turn and told me it's too late, let's go back. I said, sure. It was really late. I thought he was going to take us to Venice Beach where there's a lot going on. I didn't know he was gonna take us to that deserted part of town! On our way back, there was an accident, so we were stuck for quite a while. I felt bad, he was falling asleep. We made it back safely, in fact, he even took me to Mc Donald's for Ice cream. He's not cheap but that was the closest spot to where we were and he needed soda. I didn't buy it for him and he's diabetic so he gets thirsty a lot. When we got to my place, I wasted no time, I kissed him in the cheek, thanked him for coming and jumped out the car. Even Stevie Wonder could see that guy wasn't getting laid that night. 

He cursed at me via text on his way home. I didn't care. My roommate got home just after me. I told her about my adventure, we had a good laugh about it. She was busy going on dates, left, right and centre too. Even more so than me. I had slowed down. She was on Tinder, there's a lot of half naked guys on there. Not as many as on Scruff, the gay dating app. I saw that when I used to room with Jon. She had her bikini pics on there too, she's a model so, holler! Tinder is not my cuppa, that's one site or app, I've never been into. It seems more of a hook up site to me, kinda like Plenty of Fish. I want more than that. She went out with some cute guys, most of them are models. Tall, really hot guys. She's tall and really hot too, so it was only fair. One of the guys she went out with is a guy named Obama. She used to put them on speaker when they called. We would both discuss what she should say in conversations and had so much fun with them. She would laugh so uncontrollably, she had to hang up on them a few times and then lie and say she dropped her phone. I appreciated her naivety when it comes to dating. She would meet a guy, he would ask to go out, but then just before it was time to meet up, he would cancel. He wouldn't call for a week or more than all of a sudden call as he got home from work at night, and ask if she wanted to watch movies on Netflix at his place. Uhm, you have Netflix at your place, why do you have to go to a guy's place in the middle of the night to watch nextlix in bed when you can watch it in your own bed and not be harassed by some random stranger? Booty call alert! 

Some guys would ask her where she wants to go, I'd say for dinner of course! She would say, no, it's too soon. She just wants to talk, I be like then talk over dinner! Why not? People do it all the time! One guy was like, let's go to Starbucks. She asked what I thought about that. I told her she was asking the wrong girl because I don't drink coffee. Anyway, three of so times, with three different guys, they just went to the beach. It was cold and dark. I mean, it's romantic but it was a first date and the guy didn't even buy her a drink of water. When she told him she was thirsty, he stopped when they were near restrooms and told her he was going to wait for her while she went to drink water from the toilet sink haha! Big City dating! You meet all kinds of people. 

I told her she's too sweet for LA Dating, she needs to toughen up. A guy won't make you drink water from the toilet if they didn't think you would agree to that. By the way,  she didn't drink the water, they went to a fast food place and bought herself something. Obama is originally from Ghana. I think he was going to school in LA. Apparently, he's the shit in Ghana. I mean, the guy is a looker. I've seen his pictures. One night, Carly was talking about him. She hadn't heard from him in a while, he had cancelled on her last minute and then all of a sudden, wanted to watch Netflix in bed with her. I was like, call him. We'll figure out what we're gonna say when he picks up. Nobody every uses the calling part of cellphones anymore. All everyone does is text. Exceptfor Chris. The one person I wish would rather text than call. Or leave me alone, period. Carly called Obama, He picked up and sounded happy to hear from her. In our improvised conversation,  I told her to invite him to her upcoming birthday party at our place. Her birthday had already passed and she wasn't going to throw a party at all. Whatever, who is going to take a guy named Obama seriously? Especially after he practically stood you up? He was so excited, he told her he would definitely be there, and then all of a sudden, said the most absurd thing, that nobody every says in this century. He said, Alright! Alright! Alright! With such gusto too. Like who says that? I literally  went into shock! I looked at Carly like, how the f*ck old is this dude? She burst out laughing and had to hang up because we weren't about to stop laughing anytime soon. He called her right back, but she wasn't in a position to speak, still laughing! When she was ready, she asked me to please not say anything ever again when she is on the phone. I was like, but I didn't say anything, I just looked at you in utter amazement, that's all. She said, ok, then don't look at me at all. Haha. She called him back, they made final arrangements about the non party. Towards the end of the conversation,  I could tell they were wrapping it up, I whispered, Alright, Alright, Alright. She said it to him. HE SAID IT RIGHT BACK! What a doofus! He didn't know we were making fun of him. Poor Guy. That became our inside joke. Alright x3.

Rancho got over himself, we talked some more via calls and texts after that sexless booty call. He told me that he would be going on a family vacation to Vegas on the same day I was going to move to Vegas. I half jokingly asked him to take with him some of my luggage. He told me that they would be using his sister's rented car. Blah blah blah, white noise. He is always doing something with his'family'. If I were his girl, I probably would have some kind of a problem with that. But I'm not, so woulda, coulda, shoulda. He told me that he wanted to meet up that weekend. I agreed. I was going to arrive noon-ish, so would they, so we would have all day to figure out what, where and why and everything in between. He comes to Vegas quite often to gamble and apparently he wins a lot too. Nice for him.

I told Daniel that I would be moving to Vegas. He wouldn't believe me. He told me that I 'wouldn't move to Vegas, there's nothing to do there'. He told me he refused to believe me. Guess what? Six months later, he still can't believe I'm here. Talk about Doubting Thomas. What's next? Is he gonna wanna put his finger in my side and see the nail marks in my hands? John 20:24-29. What? I know the Holy Book! I may not look it, but I know my sh*t!

I told all my friends about my pending move and started saying my goodbyes to my close friends individually. Most of the people I told about moving, would turn around and tell me how they need to move to Vegas, how they have always wanted to move to another city altogether and the reasons why they have always wanted to do it. They would tell me that they think it's time for them to finally do it. Time for them to move to Vegas. It got to the point where I stopped telling people I wasn't that close with because even the ones I was close to were doing this, I didn't need to hear it from people I didn't care that much for. People were asking to add me on Facebook or for my number. They wanted me to tell them when I have settled down in Vegas so they can come visit to see if it's for them. Some would tell me to call them when I have settled so they would move here. If I need a roommate, to count them in. I was dying!