Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The 7hour date with Mr Hot

Friday, 4 November
Mr H. picked me up at 10 am. He looked really nice in his pink shirt and cream jacket. It was freezing in Tbilisi that morning. I had leggings, a top and sandals because that's what I had planned to wear that day and a plan IS A PLAN. On our way to the car, he asked, "Which one do you think is my car?" I had to play a guessing game which can easily go bad. I had to guess with a not so expensive car, just in case. He made me guess again. Ok, I get it, you drive a fancy Merc! Gees!
He opened the door for me. Once inside, he offered me chocolate. Nice! He then told me what he had lined up for us that day. We were to go to his office first, he'd send some emails, then we'd go to Tbilisi Sea, I'd told him I've never been there and he promised to take me. Thereafter, restaurant and we'd see where the night would take us. Sounds good!

On our first "date" he had told me that he has 3 000 people working under him. Those are the people he wanted me to teach English. When we arrived at the office, it was one small room, with a round table and +- 8 chairs. I asked him where the rest of the office was because clearly that's not where all 3000 of his staff sat. He said he has another office somewhere in the centre, blah, blah, I didn't buy it. He played music videos for me on the Huge Plasma TV. Whenever I saw a song I liked, he would change it and play another one, that's 'better' than the  ones I liked. PS arrived about an hour or so later. Se was a tiny little girl. Apparently, she's his right hand and his little lion. Apparently there are only two lions in Georgia, he's the big one, and she's the small one. (lion as in Leo).
2 hours or so later, I was so over being at the office, I was ready to leave or kill myself. He told the PA in Georgian, to get ready because we were going out. Err, say wha' ?
I hoped she would be dropped off somewhere because that's not how I imagined our "date" to be, with a permanent third wheel.
Off to Tbilisi Sea, we went.


He asked me how long I thought it took his "sports car" from 0 to 60km per hour. I said 3seconds. It took 8 seconds or so. Then he wanted to show off how fast his car was. I dared him to drive way above the speed limit, that may or may not have been 120km/h,  who knows? It's Georgia! He tried, but this was his maximum on that road:
just 100km/hr. Not good enough! I enjoyed making him feel small, cos he's so big headed.

At Tbilisi sea, we parked next to a couple that was sucking each other's faces. AWKWARD!
We posed for some pics.

From Tbilisi sea, we went to some stone age place. They had Georgian "Saint" statues and writers, Jesus and his apostles, you know, the last super, the works.
While on our way, my friend B called, he was in town! He got there hours early so we could spend some time together. Unfortunately I was in the middle of nowhere on I date that sucked. I had to let him down, I wish he had called me before he left Rustavi, so I could tell him I was tied up.

On our way to the restaurant, we discussed business, Mr wanted to know if I would teach his 3000 employees English. He would pay for my travelling costs from Batumi to Tbilisi. At first, he wanted Michelle and I to do it, this time, he said, " I just want you, Brook. You're the only teacher I want". He had told me that he would be in Batumi the following week and the week after. I suggested we discuss the details in Batumi. I got a vibe that wasn't going to happen. Just a feeling.

He took us to an Indian restaurant in the centre of Tbilisi. The food was divine! I want to go back there. I had  mutton tikka or something like that, he had something similar, mutton curry. Just delicious! I ordered Milk shake, I asked the waitress to make it as thick as possible because I like to have my milkshake with my meal.  She brought me what looked  like flavoured milk with ice cubes! I wanted to be dramatic, not because of the milkshake, but because I was having a day from hell. I couldn't take it anymore, I kept looking at the time. I just wanted to get the heck out of there and as far away from those people as humanly possible.

My prayers were answered! They had training that evening, I was dropped off, kissed in the cheek and he said he would call me in 2 hours, to take me clubbing, because we liked the same things and such, he wanted us to enjoy the nightlife in Tbilisi together. I was secretly wondering if he would bring the PA later on as well.
Earlier on, he told me that because I had never seen snow (I have since seen it, hooray!), he wanted to take me somewhere, 1.5hrs outside Tbilisi to some beautiful place that had snow blah blah blah. He turned around and asked the PA if she were free that day, and for her to bring their other friends. Listen, dude did say he wanted me to meet his friends, but that was just too much! I was dying! All this happened on Friday, he said he would take me to this magical snow place on Sunday before I headed back to Batumi. I somehow didn't see it happening.

I went home, my friend D was out with the FrenchES (the hot French dudes? Yup! Them!). I charged my cell and fell asleep listening to music glad to be back from the 7hour date with Hot and his PA. It's the longest (non) date I've ever been on.

He never called that night, no word from him (or the PA) ever since!
















Tuesday, November 15, 2011

2 Hot French guys

When I got back home from the embassy, my friend, D was so excited to have met 2 hot French guys in the city (Tbilisi). She said they were coming over later on. She said, "I have 2 French guys for you, Brook! They're so hot! I know which one you will like, cos I know your type already!" OOOwwwkkaayyy then! C'mon, fix yourself up!
Me: Tell me about these guys. Are they your friends?
D: No, I met them today!
Me: Uhm, where?
D: At the supermarket!
Me: What are they doing here?
D: Business.
Me: How long are they staying for?
D: Thy don't know yet, but they stay at a nice 5 Star hotel in the centre.
Me: (couldn't shake the weird feeling I had about these guys) Are they French or do they just speak French like your friends from Africa?
D: They are French, from France!
Me: ARE THEY WHITE?
D: NO, THEY'RE BLACK, BUT WERE BORN AND RAISED IN FRANCE.

I knew it! I have nothing against black guys, but when she told me about these guys being French, I automatically assumed that they were European, i.e. White. Like a typical French would be! I took off my jacket and slapped on some lip gloss. Gotta look cute for the French, right?
The French called, I heard D tell them she was home with me and that she did have food, she cooked that morning. Why do these guys seem suspicious? Why should they care if D has cooked or not? D haggled the cab driver for them. Another red flag! From 5 GEL (R20) to 3 GEL (R12). What's 2GEL (R8) to a Businessman, that stays in 5 * accommodation?

They arrived! Two black dudes in Track suits and snickers, with gold jewelery. As soon as they walked in, I put on my jacket, and got on Facebook. Sorry, not my type! This is not a racial issue, but these dudes had been misrepresented to me. First of all they have an African accent.They clearly were not born and raised in France. At least my friend was into one of them. I wasn't sure which one and I didn't care.
they talked about being black in Georgia, how everybody got here, who paid whom, how much and all that stuff that didn't concern me because my situation is completely different. D offered them Fufu (Paap) and the cabbage and fish curry she had made, they didn't seem to know what cabbage was, so she made them (my) apples (I'd brought all the way from Akhaltsikhe). They were hungry! Clearly, they didn't get fed in their 5 * hotel.

They left their hotel business card. I googled the place and it's self catering, 3 * accommodation. somewhere in the centre of town. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't about money or race, but what my idea of hot was, those guys didn't meet AT ALL.

Bubble burts!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Excuse me, where's the Embassy?

I took an 11 o'clock Marshrutka from Akhaltsikhe to Tbilisi. It's a  hour ride. I was hoping to quickly go to the embassy where I'd make some last minute enquiries before my Visa application appointment the next day.

The ride was, in the words of Tina Turner Nice and Easy. No stares, not weirdness, whew! We stopped halfway for toilet and smoke break. It turned out everybody spoke some English. We all formed a circle and had a nice chat in the sun. Then back on the road. I, being the blondie that I am, forgot to withdraw money for the marshrutka (taxi), i asked the driver in my broken Georgian if he could let me run to the ATM in Tbilis and draw the fare. He agreed.

When we got to Tbilisi, I asked around where the my bank's ATM was, the lady asked me where I wanted to go. I told her I needed an ATM, she was like, I can't help you! Where do you need (Atleast I think that's what she was saying). I asked her if she spoke Russian, very excited, she said yes! Good think I just downloaded a translator on my blackberry, I can just tranlate what I want to say into Georgian and we'll be good to go. NOPE! The phone froze, I had to take out the battery and restart. That takes its own time. I thanked the lady and let her go. On to the next. They told me the ATM was upstairs inside the metro station. Makes sense! I ran up the stairs and asked a lady up there, she said, sorry, no ATM here and directed me elsewhere. She said it was 10minutes away. 10 minutes away in Georgian, doesn't mean the same in English just FYI. I went back that way. By then I had even forgotten where the marshruka was with my bags. And my apples. Fortunately, the driver saw me running around like a headless chicken. I told him I couldn't find the ATM, he pointed me to the ten minute direction and told me to take my time, he would be there for an hour. (I think that's what he said). I ran across the street, trying to remember which one is left and right in Georgian. I asked 3more people before I found the ATM, about 3minutes away. Thank Goodness! I paid the driver and gave him a tip for his kindness and patience.

I took the metro to my friend, D's place. I arrived there at 3pm, planned to just leave my bags and rush for the embassy. She was cooking. She told me she was almost done, to wait for her and we'd go together. She told me she'd be done in ten minutes. She finished cooking, dished up, we ate paap and cabbage and fish curry. It was divine! As usual, I was starving as I had just travelled and don't eat when I travel cos of my motion sickness. An hour later, I told her that I think I had to leave. It was getting late and the embassy was closing at 5. She went, Do you think you will make it there on time? Uhm, not at this rate! She was ready, but just needed to take her meds, and to clean the house, and to do the dishes and to take pampers for the baby and and and.... Oh Lord! We finaly left at 4:20. Then she remembered that her friend had told her the embassy moved. I had to google it, find the number and call the embassy and hope to talk to someone that speaks Englis, that she would understand my English, and that she would know where the new location was. I got the new address, searched for it on google maps. It was 5km from where we were, D didn't know how to get there, she didn't know which bus to take either. I called a friend in Akhaltsikhe, she told me the best thing to do would be to take a cab. D said, cabs are expensive, there has to be a bus there. The thing with buses here, people only pay when there's an inspector in sight, otherwise free rides all day long! Time was running out, D wanted to call her friend and ask which bus we should take, when she found out she forgot her cell in her bag at home. Which meant, her running back.I said, you know what? Why don't you stay behind? I'll see you when I come back! I had 30mins to get to the embassy.

I took a cab, he seemed to know there street, we just had to find the number. The place was FAR! We found the street and the number. I gave the cab driver 50 GEL (R200), he told me he didn't have change. The ride was 5GEL. I told him that's all I had, the loose change I had wasn't enough. He could see I was in a hury. He told me  this was a problem, because he didn't have change. He spoke Russian, I spoke to him in broken Georgian.Eventually, he stopped trying to be cheap and gave me my change. You don't charge someone 5 bucks and keep the change from 50 bucks, I'm sorry! It sure looked like an embassy, only thing is, that's not what was written outside!
Me: Excuse me, where's the embassy?
Security: 'Down the street, turn right- --
Me: OMG!
The cab had just left, and I needed to walk some more, what's this a joke? I'm late God damn it!
Security: Lady, calm down! It's about 200 metres from here

Yup! He totally told me to calm down!
I ran down the street, and followed the directions. Passed one embassy, asked for directions, they told me to go further up. Great! When I got there, all I could see was the security's office, no other buildings were in sight, He told me to get to the end of the driveway and I'd find the embassy right at the end. Oh my goodness! I ran some more, I just wanted to make it there before they closed, but the small voice in my head told me I was kidding myself, I should just see where it is for my appointment the next day. Running...running,,,running.... I saw signage on the way as well, which helped. I got to the end, there was a T-Junction, no more signage! I didn't know whether to turn left or right. Infront of me was a swimming pool. I chose left, ran some more, Saw ladies with handbags going the opposite direction. They seemed happy! I thought, great, these ladies work at the embassy and are happy to be going home, I missed it! I kept running. Ahead of me, I saw the embassy!

There were people standing outside with the security guards.I thought oh no, they are begging to be let in. I finally arrived and told the guard who spoke some English what I needed, he told me to wait my turn. Hallelujah! They were still open! Whew!

Of course, it turned out they need more documentation from me, the 8 hour trip there was just to enquire, they told me to call their call centre to make another booking and to not even bother going there the next day for my appointment with insufficient documents.

I took a bus back to D's. The trip back was smooth. She wasn't home! I had to stand outside and wait for her in the rain. I opted to go for a walk to the shops. That's when I bumped into a hot guy from their church. I'd met him at the choir practice before. He played the key board. And he's good! He walked me to the shop and spoke Georgian for me. He's from Africa and speaks French. He walked me back to the house and we chatted a bit on FB












Georgian Funeral

... I finally made it to Akhaltsikhe! Just as they police officers were heading for the funeral. Had the circumstances been different, It would've been much nicer to see everybody! I quickly changed into my black clothes and got a lift to the house!

Everybody gathered outside the house dressed in black. It was tough! Having recently lost a very special person in my life, it was a great challenge to be attending a funeral. Gayani wasn't just my assistant, she was my friend, she was a very special lady. She was very talented, she did embroidery, drew, painted, was a qualified doctor and worked at a special police department, she was gorgeous, and she was my top student!
We walked around the coffin and viewed the body. Her mother and her husband stood next to the coffin crying the entire time. That was hard for me to watch. From the house, we all walked to her old school, her open coffin was carried around to all these venues. It was sooooo sad :( From the school, we went to the police station, then to the grave yard (cemetery) she she was put to rest.

From here, we got a lift to the hotel where the family had made reservations for everybody to have lunch. The atmosphere was much lighter, we even took some pictures. One of my police officers has a crush on my colleague and an old homie from Akhaltsikhe, Harriet, he wanted me to take a pic and show her:-
Because, I was unprepared for the cold, as usual, one of my police friends gave me that jacket! It's a pefect fit! I tried to refuse it because she literally took it off her back and gave it to me, but she told me she loves me and I should have it. I have worn it every single day ever since! cos it's perfect, I just layer and later underneath and cover up with it!

This is the same restaurant my German friend was staying in. We almost ate here but it was too big for just the two of us. It felt weird to be back. We stuffed ourselves silly (not with the German guy, but with the funeral people!).  The food just wouldn't stop coming! I was ready for it because I don't eat when I travel so it was my first meal for the day. From the Funeral, I asked one of the officers to take me to my ex-host mom's house to say hi! The whole family was home! It was so nice to see her and the kids, the rest, not so much!
Back to the hotel, then  TO A RESTAURANT! Seriously! To eat and drink again! I used this time to catch up with my friends. Toasts were made! I was toasted for being a nice person for going all the way there to the funeral, they didn't think I'd make the trip! Well, we're friends, those people have been nothing but kind to me and they continue to show me kindness. Constantly!



Thanks for the Jacket, Eliso



True Love

Good times were had at the Restaurant, fire in the fire place! I went home with Tiko. Did I mention it was freezing out? Fortunately, they had the wood stove on in the lounge and a small one in the bedroom where I slept. I was still as sick as a dog! The next morning, Tiko's mom gave be a bag full of apples because I'd forgotten mine from the ex host mom in a police car. Okay then! Now I have 2 bags of apples and 2 bags of my own. I met up with Martyna for a few minutes before I took a marshrutka to Tbilisi.

Good bye Akhaltsikhe, I will be seeing you again SOON!
xoxo
















Fucky! Fucky!

On Sunday, 30 October, I got ill. The dang cold was back! I stayed in and nursed myself. A couch surfer dude that lives in my town and I had been in touch via emails and sms-es. We finally met up on Sunday.
As usual, it took me forever to find the place!
We went to a Turkish restaurant along the beach. As soon as we got there, he got on the phone with his girlfriend. They sounded like they were arguing. He spoke Turkish. When he got off the call, he asked to take a picture with me and send it to his girlfriend to prove to him that nothing was going on between the two of us. Of course I refused, that was a preposterous request! How's seeing a picture of me going to prove that we're not together?

We had dinner, a meatball bun and lemonade.My nose got blocked and I couldn't even talk anymore, he suggested we call it a night and walked me halfway home. I skipped school for a week because I kept getting more and more sick. I got a text that one of my Assistants from the time I taught English to the police officers in Akhaltsikhe had passed away. She had a complicated pregnancy, they had to do an emergency caesarian. two months and 4 operations later, she passed away :( I tried to hitch hike to Akhaltsikhe. I only found out about the funeral the day before at midday. I got a lift to Kobuleti, a truck to Kutaisi, that took forever to get there! It was dark outside, and I knew it would've been risky hitch hiking all the way that night, so I called a friend and asked to stay the night at hers.

We had a fun time, freezing our hinds off, me trying not to die of the cold, and talking about men until I fell asleep. I remember trying to find the bathroom the next morning in the dark, without walking in on someone in their bedroom! That was fun! NOT. My friend walked me to the marshrutka around 7am. They dropped me off just outside town, where I hitch hiked from. I got a lift for like five minutes. Then it got tricky!. Nobody was stopping! It was freezing cold! I could see the snow on the mountain tops around me, I was dying when a red right hand drive, truck stopped for me. (FYI, it's "safe" to hike in Georgia.  I wouldn't do this back home in South Africa). That thing was high! It took me forever to get in! Struggling with the stairs. We did the introductions in Georgia, and that was the end of the conversation because he didn't speak English and I don't speak Georgian.

All of a sudden, dude decided to drive off the freeway, into a dodgy gravel road where there was a construction site and nothing else. I was like, Sorry, where I we going? In broken Georgian. He said nothing, and just kept driving. I told him the freeway was that way, and that's where I was going? He pointed at himself and I and said, "Fucky! Fucky". Which I suppose meant, him and I were going to to THAT! I said "GACHERET!" (stop!) He kept driving! I started yelling profanities that rhyme with truck! And the likes. I opened the door and was ready to fly out. He grabbed me by my clothes and pulled me back and said "Puli! Puli! ginda? (do you want money). F#&k you @$$ h0!3 I don't want your money! 34#%$^$^$&%&~! This went on for about a minute! One long S minute, if you ask me! He stopped, I ran off to the free way. My heart was beating fast! I was pissed off. I was stranded in the middle of nowhere and I felt unsafe, for the first time in this country. I felt like I was in his mercy because he could come back and run me over or something. He made a u-turn, as I saw him approach, I picked up rocks and threw them at his truck swearing him! I was soooo pissed off! All I wanted was to get to the funeral in time and not fucky fucky with a GEorgian Truck driver in his truck!








Meeting Mr. Hot

Saturday, 29 October

  Michelle came over to Batumi. We went to Khopa, the big bazaar. Window shopping, we ate some type of a puri (bread( with meat. Two type, one was worth mentioning, the other one, not so much. Back to the bazaar, PICTURES! with random strangers that just asked to take pics with us, with a huge, overweight mannequin,


and I asked a cute boy to pose for a pic with me. He had nice hair. Lord knows I love me a boy with nice long hair.


From there, we went searching for ice cream. It's winter time in Georgia and they don't sell ice cream in Winter because, well, it's cold! The shop keepers make that decision for the people - No ice cream for you, it's cold out! We went to Goodwill supermarket with the hope that we would find ice cream. I saw this nice guy, tall, slim, dressed really nicely, just like I like them! I was like, Oh my word, Michelle, I think, he's hot! I just need to see his face. She said, nah, the face is *thumbs down, but we can follow him, and check it out again. We started running after dude to the other end of the supermarket. I went, he's not so handsome, but I think he's hot! He's different, I feel like he has lots of stories to tell and I should hear them.

Me: Hi!
Him: Hi
ME: How are you? (to see if he speaks Georgian)
Him: I'm fine thanks, and you?
Score!
Me: Are you Georgian?

Him: Yes. But people think I am either Russian or English.
Fail
Me: You look good, would you like to ask me what my name is?

Him: Where are you from?
Me: South Africa
Him: Wow! That's one of the places I'd like to visit the most!
Score!
Me (getting all Georgian on him): Are you married?

Him: No, of course.
Michelle: Brook! I think you're scaring him! I think you're scaring him!
Me: You should marry me, I'll take you to South Africa with me.
Him: UUuuhhmmmm....... Ladies, would you like to order something? I can translate for you.
Me: Michelle, would you like something?
Mich: Nah
Me: It doesn't look lie my friend wants anything, I guess you won't be marrying me, bye!

On our way somewhere in a hidden corner, Michelle was like, I think you scared him when you proposed! I said well Georgians do it to us all the time, he's Georgian, this should've been normal for him. "I guess you're right!" said Michelle. We didn't find anything cheap enough to buy, so we left. On our way to the exit, Michelle went, "OMG there he is, let's keep going!" I said, he should be so lucky, I'm going to harass him! He turned around, and I said, "See? I'm following you!". He said, "Can you please help me choose a chocolate? I can't make up my mind". SCORE! WE took the project very seriously, Michelle and I. He asked where I was staying, I told him here in Batumi, it turned out he was staying at the hotel here, and was heading back to Tbilisi the next day. Great! NOT. He asked for my number, realised that his cell was off, asked me to take his and call him. I told him first of all I don't take guy's numbers, secondly, I don't call guys, they call me. This coming from someone who proposed to a guy five seconds into meeting him.
We agreed upon me taking his number, texting him mine, and him giving me a call later.

We got on our way around the city, (Mich and I).

We went to Vinyl, a cafe in the centre of Batumi.


WE ordered ice cream or milk shake. They didn't have it because it's Winter. She settled for iced coffee. I texted Mr Hot, he called back immediately. WE talked for 7 mins. Yup! I remember how long my calls are! He asked me to meet him at the hotel after 9pm. Michelle left around 6pm. It was freezing! I walked back home, did my reports, when Mr Hot called. His meeting was over and he wanted to know if I could still meet him. I agreed. An hour and a half later, 3 calls from him and about 7 songs later (that he sang for me over the phone while I was making my way to the hotel, some of which, I joined in and sang along), I arrived at the Radisson Blu. We hung out at the lounge, I told him in advance that I would not be going to his room.

I ordered H2O, it came in a nice glass bottle. Very fancy Radisson Blu! WE sat and talked and joked around, and flirted and talked about business, he told me stories about him, his life, his perfumes, his work, how many people he knows, where he has travelled to, how he is friends with the president (of Georgia! Not Jacob Zuma!), which perfume he wears when, when he started university, about his parents, him! him! him! If only I could take back the statement I made to Michelle earlier on when I said I wanted this guy to tell me his stories!

Then he asked me about Michelle, where she was from and was surprised she is Canadian seeing as she is Asian. Then he did the unthinkable! He said, "Asia has the most beautiful women in the world! The most attractive women in the world come from Asia!". I asked him if he liked my friend, he said, yes! I took my bag and told him I thought it was time for me to leave. He seemed to genuinely not understand what about that upset me. He went on to explain himself telling me he thought I was concerned as to whether or not he liked my friend, blah blah blah. And he wasn't telling me he is attracted to my friend but was just sharing the statistics. I was like do you not, at all think that your timing for stats was a bit off?
A few minutes later, he hailed me a cab, paid for it, and I left. We agreed to meet next time I'm in Tbilisi.

He called when I got home, thanked me for the evening, apologised for the misunderstanding and told me how much he appreciates me blah blah blah. He called the next day on his way back to Tbilisi, we talked for 40 minutes. It was nice-ish. He asked me about myself and my country. I wondered if he hadn't fallen and bumped his head, because that was out of character for him.

He called again the next day, when he arrived in Tbilisi and said to let him know when I am in the city, he would like to show me how he lives, introduce me to his friends etc