Wednesday, November 06, 2013

My Second First Date in Utah


Saturday Afternoon, I received  a call from Dan. We confirmed our Sunday, church date. I texted Sr Rose’s daughter to inform her that I wouldn’t need her to pick me up or meet me halfway before church because my friend was going to pick me up. Rose’s daughter is a student at one of the universities, she was visiting for the weekend otherwise she lives elsewhere. She has also been abroad on an LDS Mission.

Sunday morning came, I got ready and cute, waited for Dan, he was running a bit late. I heard a loud bang on the main door. It was him, the door bell is right by the door and he has my number. He couldn’t be normal and ring the door bell or call or text to say he was outside, he had to wake everybody up in the entire county of Salt Lake! I rushed downstairs, God forbid he becomes impatient and knocks again! When I opened the door, I was gobsmacked, dude is cuuuute! Sp much cuter in person. I couldn’t get over his eyes! Blue as blue can be!

We arrived at church, I was still interested in seeing how a church date was going to pan out. It didn’t help that we walked in late, the new girl and a random dude. Anyway, we sat next to each other. Somewhere along the line, it was time to testify, everybody was all teary eyed, I was thinking to myself, Lord, don’t let this man cry on this already strange date, I couldn’t stand it! He didn’t! Thank you stars! But he did get up unannounced and went to testify in front God, the church, Prophet Joseph Smith (that’s the main man of LDS, kinda like Jesus but not quite, they also believe in Christ), and the book! You have to say you believe in the book (of mormon). You know, I was sitting there thinking to myself, what am I doing here? Why am I in this church I know nothing about with this man, who randomly gets up and testifies. This is all new to me! I went with it though. Dan made some jokes, people were laughing. Hey, I’ll take that over crying anyday!

After church, he told me there would be meetings. He wanted us to go to all the meetings. Really? What is this? When are we gonna go on the date date? I had nothing against the whole church thing, just that if you tell me we are going on a date, I expect that at some point, we will get to spend time together, just you and I getting to know each other. Anyway, Rose’s Daughter (RD) came by, introduced herself (and her boobs, they came to play that day too!) to Dan and asked if I was ready to go to bible study. Dan was like, sure, let’s go! I needed to use the restroom (loo), so I asked her to direct me. Dan was like, we’ll come with you. They walked ahead of me, while I followed behind like a loyal dog, feeling ever so awkward. She was telling him about herself, everything there is to know. Mind you, these people don’t know each other!

I quickly went into the restroom, when I got back, she was like, yeah, I have a group in my neighbourhood of foreign whatever, blah blah blah, he was interested in attending, and seeing what it’s all about, they exchanged numbers. I was just like, this is too weird for my fcking liking, I’m ready to go home. Fck these people! I couldn’t show it though, it was me against the mormons. I had to be polite! She took us to this tiny room, where he father was waiting for us. As if the day couldn’t get any more awkward, her father is the bible study teacher. Awesome! Who all was in there, RD, her father, Dan and I. That’s it! Dan is very good at breaking the ice and just all round socialising. We were all talking and laughing, then it was the time to officially start. They asked him to open up with prayer. You know, where I come from, they would never ask a stranger to open up with prayer, it’s kinda like putting someone on the spot. Good thing he didn’t mind. He mentioned everybody by name and added, ‘and Brook’, when he said that, RD burst out laughing. I hoped I imagined that.

At the end of our hour long session, they asked yours truly to close in prayer. I was just like, this is just fantasticle, I’m supposed to be on a date, now I have to prove to this man that I can pray too, already! On our first date! #Mormonism. I did! There was going to be another meeting afterwards. Relief society. Don’t ask me relief from what. Walking to our respective rooms, women had their own thing and men had heirs, so Dan and I were going to split up. They were walking side by side again, I was running right behind them trying to catch up. They are both very tall. He asked her why she laughed when he said my name during his prayer. I thought to myself, glad I didn’t make that up in my head! She was like, ‘well, it’s how you said it. You could tell it was an after thought. That she’s like not important’ yeah! She said that! With me right behind her! The fck was that all about? I knew that girl was trouble, in fact, that entire family is weird. He was like, you know that’s not true, why would you say something like that? She was giggling and flirting, it would have been cute if it weren’t pathetic and fcking annoying.

I had to sit next to her in Relief society, not in the fcking mood, bro! But I did. She was looking at my shoes the entire time, I was thinking, I know they cute btch, what? What? Haha J They handed out hymn books, she got one, I didn’t. She took it upon herself to go, ‘does everybody have a hymn book? If not, it’s nobody’s fault you were sleeping’. I kept asking myself, why am I here again? They were like, oh Brook doesn’t have one, will you share with her? She said, sure! She didn’t, I didn’t give a fck, I didn’t give a fck about her, her family, the church, the prophet, the book, the golden plates, I could care less about any of that, I wanted the hell outta there. I felt like I was the new girl at school and she was bullying me, only I was never that girl at school and she’s like ten years younger than me. And we’re at church. She did ask me how I know Dan and how long we have known each other for. My answer was vague because it’s none of her business. Clearly she didn’t care about anything that may be going on between Dan and I.

After relief, which was an ironic name for something that was definitely not a relief, the only relieving thing about that was the ending. Dan came to get me. He had collected phone numbers from just about any and everybody in that church. RD offered me a ride, I was like, nah, I’m good, Dan has a car. Dan took me to my place, I wanted to get a sweater. It had cooled down out. Cindy’s husband was home, cooking. Of course, Dan was all chatty with husband, asking for the recipe of the meat cocktail husband was making, husband was about ready to invite him over for dinner. I was like, I’m ready, let’s go. I mean, let’s get this date thing over and done with, this is not a popularity contest!

He suggested we just hang out at the house instead. Uhm, whose house? You can’t just suggest to hang out at someone else’s house. This person is not even your friend, that’s weird. Come on now! I said, nah, I would rather we go out! The lil one was already all over him, they were having a cute conversation, it was nice to watch, she invited him over to her bedroom. He was like, in future don’t ever invite strangers to your bedroom, ok? It’s not safe. Which is true! I tell you there’s something about those blue eyes of Dan’s that make you wanna take him to your bedroom. Even a 3 yr old fell for him!

He told me that as a mormon, they don’t spend money on Sunday, so we were just gonna go to the park. Ok then cheapskate, let’s go to the park. Whatever, use your religion to your advantage and see if girls don’t see past that. He parked the car, we went for a walk and talked. It was really nice, he was flirtatious and touchy, we spent two to three hours at the park, then I was like you can take me home now. I didn’t want us to run out of things to say. I doubt we would have because we are both talkers, but just in case. He dropped me off and told me he would call when he got home. He texted me, and thanked me for my time, proposed we meet again and I never heard from him again.

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Mormonism

Cindy and the lil one were waiting for me in the living room as I got home from the date with Paul. They wanted to hear all about it. I wasn't too comfortable talking about men in front of a three year old but who am I to depict how people should do things in their homes? When you don't have kids, you have to watch what you say to and about kids around their parents otherwise they will remind you that you don't have kids.

I may have told you that around every street corner in Utah, is a Mormon Church or LDS (from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint). Cindy and her husband are non active LDS members. She told me to join the church. My brother, who lives in Cape Town, South Africa is a mormon too.  Only other mormon I know, actually. Anyway, I was like, I'm in Utah, might as well do as the Utahans do, so first Sunday, I was there! The service was an hour long then I saw people leaving, so  I did too. When I got home, Cindy was like, oh, you're back? Uhm here, the church is out! No, it isn't, they have meetings after church. Those meetings are supposed to last for like the rest of the afternoon. I was like, this is gonna be fun, from not going to church at all to spending all day there! Quite an adjustment. More like a chore but ok, we'll give it a try.

She told me to call the church and ask that they show me around next time I'm there. See, I like to do my own thing, without people breathing over my neck, otherwise I get suffocated. I wanted to just go to church, stay if I want or don't if I don't feel like it. Cindy took over being my church guide and as soon as she did, I almost didn't feel like doing it anymore, plus if she's so passionate about church, how come she no longer goes?

The following Sunday, I made the short walk up the road to church. There were no cars in the parking lot  and the doors were locked. What? What kind of a church is this? I was raised catholic, my uncle A.Z. Brook was the Bishop of the Catholic Church, Umtata Diocese for the longest time. May his soul R.I.P. So I literally grew up in church. He was like a father to me, my own father passed on in 1988. They actually passed away on the same date and date, Monday, September the 5th. One in 1988 and the other in 2011. Anyway as far as I know the church doors are never locked, at least not in the day time, or is it me?

I went back home almost relieved that I didn't have to spend all day in there. Cindy was like, wha' happe'? (Madea's voice) I told her the place was locked. She told me they probably had a conference, she forgot to tell me about it. She is very forgetful, that Cindy! That afternoon, I sent an email via the LDS website with my mobile number and all that. I wanted to make an appointment with someone or something. I hardly hit the send button and there was a knock on the door. It was the Missionaries! The heyl! Two very lovely ladies in skirts with backpacks, had just got off their bicycles to see me. I was like, well, hi guys, I thought you would call to make an appointment. They told me how eager they are to do the work that as soon as they saw my address, they didn't bother to read the rest of the email, they were on the road.

I told them, well, here's the thing, this is not my place, I am crashing at a friend's place and would appreciate it if you wouldn't do this again. We sat and talked about everything, we got along like a house on fire. Cool people. One from California and the other from Washington State. We had an appointment for Wednesday, which was going to be my birthday, I agreed to meet them in the morning. April 10th. please make a mental note :)

Cindy was very pleased to hear about all that. She seems to be a proud member of the LDS. Only, actions speak louder, so.

I had been talking to a man online, we'll call him Dan. Dan had an interesting profile, at least to me. He was the my type so to speak, works in IT, (as a closeted geek myself, I'm into geeks), has traveled intensively, been to such places as Asia and Eastern Europe, he is tall, 6'2 (188cm almost 2metres), has long-ish hair, blue eyes, the works, he had me at hello! We exchanged emails, he sent me more pictures of his cute self. He is LDS, no surprises there. We are in Utah after all. He wanted to meet up one evening at 9. Inasmuch as I wanted to, I thought it was too late to meet someone you 'met' online, don't you? Especially for the first time. I had already done all my research on him. I always do that. I know I am a serial dater but I try my best to do a background check on everybody I am going to meet up with. That doesn't mean nothing will ever happen to me, but I try to cover my s as much as possible. He has a blog and is a published children's book writer, an athlete and all round intelligent dude who passed top of his class.

Wednesday came, I didn't have huge plans, I had only been in Salt Lake city for a couple of weeks. It was a beautiful, sunny day and for a change, they didn't leave the kid at home with me. Since I had moved in, they stopped dropping the lil one off at grandma's, who they were paying for daycare, they decided to just leave her at home with Baba (aka me) without actually discussing it with me. I don't mean to be a diva but if we agreed I should move in with you to I can look for a job, I kinda need to be out there looking for a job not babysit your kid who is busy kicking me out of your house every change she gets.

We spent an hour with the Missionaries, they were surprised that I knew basic bible stuff like Adam and Eve and St Peter And St John, you know stuff that everybody knows? I was like, these people'd better not come kid here, Ain't nobody got time for that! Soon as they left,I was out the door. I bought cake ingredients. My birthday is a week after Cindy's. Hers is on April 4th. I gave her a massage for her birthday after which she said the most famous, most annoying last lines; I should really go for a massage! Why do people do that? After I give them an amazing, free massage, they then wanna book for a paid massage with someone else, hellooooo, I'm a massage therapist! You wanna pay for a massage, even though I just gave you a free one, pay me! Book me!

I baked red velvet cake for my birthday. They all came home later that evening. We went to an African store to Husband's friend. He played some Brenda Fassie music, lil one and I danced to our heart's contents. My sis called to wish me a happy birthday. I went outside to take the call, lil one wouldn't leave me alone, I'm just like, can you get the child, I have to take this? It's like you're the nanny, if she's not with you, who do you want to take care of her! Ugh, anyway, she overheard part of the conversation and went back and told everybody it was my birthday. it was after 7pm already by then. They were like, oohhhh man, why didn't you remind us? We forgot! Uhm, let me think, why didn't I remind you? Oh yeah, because I'm not four! I'm not gonna force people to sing for me on my birthday. Plus it's not a big deal, people's priorities are different.

I asked Cindy what she thought of Dan wanting to meet up at 9pm, if she didn't think it was too late. She was like, go for it! I didn't. First, he wanted me to meet him at his place. I refused. Then he wanted us to meet halfway between his and mine. I told him I wasn't driving. Even if I were, I wouldn't have gone for that cheap tactic! Was he kidding me? I've never heard of such a thing! He told me he was going to be available on Sunday, he had just gotten a new job. He had only got back to the States a couple of weeks prior from abroad. I agreed to meet him on Sunday. He asked if I would mind going to church with him. Ah hem, say what nah? I was like, yeah, sure, of course! As you may guess, there's one up the road from me Why don't we go to the one in my neighborhood? She agreed. The plan was, he was going to pick me up from my place and go to church with me. I had been on a lot of dates, but that was a first!

A few days before Sunday, After Wednesday, the Missionaries took me to Temple Square. That's where there's the LDS Temple and a few other LDS buildings. You must realise the LDS owns Utah. They discovered this state way back when, when they were being kicked out of other states because they were believed to be a cult. That's my understanding of how the story went. Anyway, They own hospitals, schools, apartment blocks, malls, and just about everything in Utah. They couldn't take me to Temple Square on bicycles so they asked somebody from the church to take us. Sister Rose offered. She was nice to do that, but that's the thing about mormons, they will do anything for the church and the book (Book of Mormon, who's watched the movie, by the way? I feel like I should for the sake of Utah). We had a nice time at Temple Square, all the mormons be crying while we watched the videos about families and Christ and all that. With all due respect but I have never met a more emotional group of people in my life! Those people cry every Sunday at church, at all the meetings, I'm talking about men, women, children, the whole lot! Mine were the only dry eyes everywhere I went with them.

They introduced me to Missionaries from Asia and whoever else we met at Temple Square. After that, they took me home. Sr Rose took me to her house to meet her family. I had no choice, we were already on our way to her house when she told me about it. We went upstairs to the bedroom where everybody was, awkward! There they were, the father, three grown kids, playing TV games and watching TV. I shook everybody's hands, the father didn't even look me in the eye when we were introduced. The oldest daughter and  her cleavage were very nice. I mention the cleavage because Mormons are very conservative, it was refreshing to see that kind of dress code in a Mormon household. Rose asked her daughter to pick me up on Sunday and walk with me to church. We exchanged numbers. I was ready to get the h out of that house. I couldn't even take it anymore. I didn't need to be walked to a church I had already been so many time too. I felt like I was in Georgia all over again, where they never ever leave you alone!

As Sr Rose dropped me off, she invited me to dinner with that cold and uninviting family of hers. I politely declined. Plus i wasn't hungry. I wasn't gonna be hungry for years and years to come. At least to her :)















My First First Date in Utah

I had the date with Paul my second day in Utah. He worked half a day that day, so it worked out just fine. We met that afternoon after work. I was going to take the bus and meet him somewhere in public, Cindy told me to let him pick me up at the house. Lil one was home. I didn't want her exposed to all that. Plus, chances were very high nothing was going to come out of Paul and I. Cindy seemed eager to see Paul, so I was like, well alright! I'll have him pick me up here, which he did! I was still tired from the trip but I tried. I had a black dress on and not so high high heels on. I was the last one to see him. Cindy and the lil one were in the living room, peaking through the winders already #embarrassing. "Baba, is that your boyfriend, Baba?', asked Lil one. I was like, nope, he's not! #awkward

Paul got out of the car, oh my! He shook my hand and opened the door up for me. The smoke of cigarette! In all of my days, I had never smelt such an intense smell of cigarette in a closed space like that. And that for somebody who used to work in a bar and owned one before too! Yeah, my brother and I owned a bar aka tavern when we were teenagers, he had to quit drinking for us to make it work though, which he did. Story for another day!

He took me to a nice Mexican restaurant called Red Iguana. Apparently, it's so good, people come from all over the country to eat there. The food was divine! I had a little bit. and took the rest home. I didn't mean to do a Mae but I wasn't hungry. He sat across from me, his nose was running, the eyes are constantly tearing up, I think that's just his thing though, it had nothing to do with the spice in the food because, he was tearing up even when he picked me up, the mouth is watering, it was a hot mess of floods all over his face. I was ready to get outta there from the get go! It was packed too! He took his time and finished his food. While I was thinking of things to talk about. It was like pulling teeth. Nothing in common at all. That, by far, made my top three most awkward dates. And you know me, I go on a lot of first dates! The most awkward was with a man who used to message my sister online in Johannesburg. I finally agreed to meet up with him. He had been buying me juice for my phone (airtime) for months, I felt obliged to go out with him. Another story for another day!

Apparently, Paul knows the owner of the Iguana, in fact, everybody there knows him. They kept coming to say hi at the table. Really awkward, him and his teary eyes and running nose and all round wet face and me with my youth and my red lipstick. I did my best to channel the not a prostitute in me. I doubt that worked though. On our way out, the boss came in, he took me over to her and introduced me, Lawdy!

From the restaurant, he asked if I wanted to go anywhere in particular. I wish guys would plan the date before hand and not ask girls where they wanna go on a first date. What if I wanted to go to Vegas? You know! Anyway, He told me about a new mall in Salt Lake City, less than five years old, one of the most expensive malls in the country. Then he took me to the mall. Later on, when I got back home, I found out that's not the mall he told me about. He decided to take me to a small shopping centre and not to the one he was telling me about as we were driving to the mall. Anyway, I had a nice time there, besides all the times he was trying to hold my hand and  I kept keeping my hand occupied by either scratching where it wasn't itching or just fidgeting, anything not to hold hand with Paul. They have a Victoria's Secret store, right there in your face. I couldn't not go in, so I went! The last VS Store I went to was the first one I went to in Sand Diego with Perry. Paul was still trying to hold hands in the store, I was just like, oh heeeeyyyylll naw! As if it's not weird enough that I'm in here with you! I'm sure he needed a cigarette the entire time haha! Or a sniff in his car, which smelt stronger than one cigarette.

From the mall, he took me for a spin around Salt Lake City. It was very nice of him. Apparently, he was enjoying my company. Even though he hardly ever said anything the entire time we were together. I had to come up with things to talk about. He took me all the way to the Salt Lake, it's a huge lake, it reminded me of the salt dams or whatever as you enter Port Elizabeth from Grahamstown Direction. He took me home, thereafter. He dropped me in front of the house and gave me a hug. I made sure my mouth was as far away as possible. Just in case.

We exchanged a few texts thereafter but nothing could come of it. He was too serious on text but really had nothing to say to me in person and we had nothing in common. You can't be that old and have nothing to say. Tell me about your past, your life, your experiences, something, anything!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Meet the family

Missing my flight after having so much fun with Dan in Phoenix put a damper on things. I went to the American Airlines Desk and they got me a seat for that night. The following flight had been cancelled, so I had to wait another three hours. I wasn't going to ask Dan to come pick me up again, so I sat it out. I called Cindy, feeling like such a loser and told her I missed my flight. Instead of pm, picking me up around 7pm, she had to pick me up around 11. She seemed fine with it. Which was great, cos If she weren't able to for some reason, I would've felt worse. I opened up my laptop and chatted away on Facebook and with some guys online.

I had a date lined up with Paul, an older man who lived alone 5/6 years after his divorce. He was from Salt Lake City, Utah. He offered to pick me up from the airport. I politely declined. Time flew and before I knew it, it was time to board. I set next to a lady and a gentleman. Dude seemed like an intelligent type guy, the lady was either flirting with the guy or she has a very flirtatious vibe about her. I had to listen to them talk the entire flight. She was sitting right next to me, and him against the wall. I don't know if they knew each other or what but she was asking him all kinds of questions about himself, work, kids, divorce et al. I couldn't deal. I just wanted to get there already.

Well, get there, we did! As scheduled. Cindy left the house as soon as I called. African time? Don't know? Normally your ride will be there waiting for you when your flight lands. Anyway, she was doing me a favour, not her fault I got delayed. I had never met her. I only know her sister, who is my sister's friend of more than ten year. She brought her 3 year old daughter with her.

The car was spick and span! There was even shoe shine on the floor. I don't know if it was for the tires or somebody's shoe. When I commented on the cleanliness of the car, Cindy told me it was actually dirty and due for a wash. I thought to myself, Gosh, I hope I hope she is not a neat freak.

The house was even cleaner than the car. First, she took off the shoes she had on in the car and left them just  outside the entrance, she put on house shoes, I was about to take off my sweaty, smelly boots that I had warn hiking earlier on but she told me I was fine. Awkward. How are my shoes fine and yours not? But I went with it. It's a beautiful house! black and red living room, which looks very similar to ZS's. Remember her? My friend I crashed with in Fourways before moving to the US? Upstairs, there's another living room, beige couches, a very clean dining room, with a huge, spotless glass table and the kitchen, then up another floor is the bathroom and the three doors. I got my own bedroom (yippee!), she and her husband have their own and the lil one has her own too. Well, she owns the entire house. She did kick me out of "my" bedroom more often that not, there's no lock on my door, so the kid would just budge in whenever she felt like it to do whatever. Fun Times!

The husband works as a long distance truck driver, so he was away a few days a week. Nice guy, very friendly, likes to joke around, just wants everybody happy and to get along. He cooks too, He's from West Africa, so if you have any Nigerian friends, and have seen their cooking, it's similar. He, however isn't Nigerian. he wasn't home the night of my arrival, but he did call and extended his welcome to their home. Cindy was off my first two days there, which was great. I was so hungry when I arrived, she offered me a delicious stew and rice. It reminded me so much of my aunt's chicken. She's a good cook, my aunt, she will actually do an episode of my sister, Pumla Brook-Thomae's show,  Spekko Family Table on Bay TV in the greater Nelson Mandela Metropole. Check it out and if you're into food and all that, you can add her on Facebook, she's a cook and an actress. Her exclassmates are Colin Moss, Winnie, the lady who plays Khethiwe on Generations and the lady who played mamfundisi on Generations way back when, Vathiswa Ndara, she was also on Society and Home Affairs (I wish they had given the role of Winnie Mandela to her instead of my girl, Jennifer Hudson). Pumla did a few commercials, Shoprite, Spar to name a couple and a documentary on M-Net. Nuff about that, we had a mini conversation while I was having dinner, then was showed to my bedroom which had everything brand spanking new in it! From the bedding to the curtains, the whole nine yards! The lil one made sure to tell me too, that they went to Khol's to buy all that for me that afternoon.

I took a shower in the spotless bathroom, spring cleaned it after (and then felt like I needed another shower) and wend to bed. Soon it was morning. Cindy was up early, cleaning. I heard the sound of a bucket of water being dragged on the floor. She was using a washcloth too! Not a mop and definitely not any of these modern day cleaning utensils, which I personally prefer, because they make my life easy. I was like gosh, which means that's what I will have to do too. Because when in Rome...! She did the entire house. The house has hardwood floors, then the lounge on the ground floor (first) partly has carpeting. I'm talking about washing the floors, polish, dusting, cleaning the glass tables, everything! The house was clean to begin with! I was like, wow! Anyway, that was an everyday thing, sometimes she would spring clean morning and night. She won't sit down to eat before she has washed all the dishes she used to dish up (or out, American English:)). Even though we are going to do the dishes after eating.

I unpacked, lil one was right there, talking up a storm. She is definitely not a shy kid! Plus, she just lets herself into my room, there's nothing you can do about it. It doesn't matter if you're decent or not, she's coming in. Cindy took me for a tour of the city, at least just to show me the important things like bus stops, train stations, stores and that. Salt Lake is so much bigger than I had anticipated! It's beautiful and clean! There's a Mormon church every corner you turn. It definitely is the Mormon capital of the world.

We spent the rest of the afternoon chilling at home, watching the ID channel (Investigation Docu, I think). It's mainly about people killing their spouses. It's thrilling! At least to Cindy and to myself :)

Husband came home the following day. When he's home, you know! You can hear him! Not a bad thing, just a thing. I enjoyed his vibe! He's friendly. He came to my room and officially welcomed me to their home and told me to feel at home. Well, at home we don't spring clean the house three times a day, but I see what you're saying!

Cindy went to work the following day, of course, I got up and spring cleaned. I wasn't going to be that person who lives in people's homes and doesn't respect them. You just have to go with the flow!

She left the kid home that day instead of grandma (husband's mom). Husband was home. He took me to a flee market. We had a nice time with the kid. He was telling me, well, about his entire life really. how much he loves his wife, how he bought the house, the cars, he has a huge Toyota Truck and Cindy drives a Chrysler van. He told me almost anything whenever we were alone, up to his plans for himself should the wife leave him. I would be like, dude, seriously, you really don't have to tell me all things! First and foremost, I'm Cindy's friend and my loyalty is with her. You can't tell me stuff like this. It puts me in a very weird position. He insisted that if I am friends with his wife, I am his friend too. Well, friends or not, you need to respect my wishes, if I don't want to hear something, you can't rape my attention and force it down my throat! Pun intend.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

From Ontario to Utah via Phoenix

Later that morning, Mae came back home, she cooked one of her lunches. think, tons of mixed vegetables and macaroni all in one big pot, add salt, done! Nobody eats those though, they always end up in the garbage bin.

The second time, she had told me I didn't have to pay rent, never mind, that's what she told me the first time as well. Anyway, she told me to just buy myself food. I am not sure what caused the change of mind. Anyway, I just went with it. I made sure I had money for rent just in case, she changed her mind again. I don't believe in free lunches.

I got a call from my fried from Ontario that afternoon, she picked me up, we went over to her house, chilled. Always  a fun time with her. She always has a ton of stuff going on in her life, boyfriend, and all. She's originally from Colombia, South America; gorgeous girl. She took me home that evening. Mae was like, tell me about that b!tch, what happened, I didn't trust her from the get go. I thought to myself, is that why you went out of the room to take her cool about me that day and talked to her for thirty minutes? By gones!

Cindy and I talked more and more often. Her lifestyle is very different to anyone I've met here (even though I hadn't met her haha), she's is married, has a kid and a job. Very stable.

Two days back in Ontario, I got an email from Dave, It went something along the lines of, FYI I washed my phone, I will be getting a new one tomorrow. I thought to myself, Apology accepted for standing me up! FYI? Really? My response = k.
He messaged me back, I knew you were not interested in me, that's why you went quiet and blah blah blah. I was like, you asked me out again, I accepted, got ready, waited and you were a no show. How do you deduce from that that I am not interested? Needless to say none of that happened. He was right, I wasn't interested. He has a rotten tooth somewhere in the back which I blame for his breath stinking so much. I'm glad he didn't try to kiss me that night. Plus he creeped me out with his random deep stares and awkward silences. He rambled on and on, I tell ya, I have never met such petty men, people in my life! It's like there's no difference between dealing with a twenty something year old and a fifty or sixty year old. It's exhausting! #ICan't

Cindy invited me to move to Utah, live with her and her family, apparently there are lots of jobs over there. I stood a great chance of landing one. Of course I accepted! Anything to get out of there! I was ready for change. And a job! I went there as soon as she said I could be there! I got my ticket, my bags were already packed, I lived out of my suitcase at Mae's. I didn't tell her about the move right away. I had to move in a few weeks and anything can happen in that space of time. I waited until I had everything finalised, the address and all that, and a ticket. Her mood suddenly brightened up! She was so nice to me from that day on.

She would buy me lunches and donuts and all kinds of things. I think she was ready to have her room back, poor thing. But you know what, no matter the reason, at least, she was being nice! I'll take that any day! Of course, she told the entire town! We would go to the mall to hang out, window shop the entire afternoon and she would insist on buying lunch, I would too, and we'd end up going Dutch simply because, we don't have that kind of coolness, where we buy each other lunches. Why all of a sudden are you treating me so much? Nah, thanks, I'll pass.

The day drew nearer and nearer. We spent more and more time with my friend, she literally is my only friend in all of Southern California, so I treasure her. She invited me over for breakfast one morning. She cooked, it was great! My last night in California, we went out for Mexican, I treated. She was also my date on Valentines haha, we were like we'll be darned not to go out on Valentines! So we went out to a Mexican restaurant. It was nice! We even dressed up :)

I was over the moon to be going to Utah, not because I have always loved the state blah blah blah, no. On the contrary! I always imagined it to be a very village like state. Change is what was exciting to me.

I had been talking to Dan, the entire time. My sister's old online flame. They never got to meet. He lives in Phoenix, Arizona. My itinerary was Ontario to Phoenix, three hours layover in Phoenix and then from there to Salt Lake City. I told him about it. He had always told me I should go visit. When he found out I was going to be in Phoenix for three hours, he said he would meet up with me. Which was even more exciting. I wasn't going to get bored at the airport. The longest I have ever been at the airport, bored out of my mind was Istanbul, Turkey. Seven hours or so. In fact, that wasn't the longest, Heathrow, London, on my way from South Africa to the US, that was long, about eight hours but I wasn't bored. All Virgin Atlantic flights were delayed, so The airport was packed. If you have been following my blog for a while you will remember that story!


Mae promised to drop me off at the airport, she also told me her house is my home. I am humbled by that. The fact that she took in me, a stranger, let me share her bed with her, and still took me in after that Chinese experience, and was still nice to me, in fact, nicer! I haven't had a lot of that in this country, I must say. I appreciate her for that. Forget all the other things in between, she was there for me when it counted. My flight was early, nine am. It wasn't easy to say goodbye to her. Especially since we had gotten so much closer after she found out I was leaving. I remember her finally having a revelation that I was funny and I do not bad impersonations. I thought to myself, I have always been this way, it's just that you didn't give me a chance, it was always all about you and the fact that you got yourself this little person who was going to listen to your stories and your rambles. All good though.

She dropped me off at the drop off zone, I dragged my bags into the airport. I really should get rid of some, well, more like a lot of my stuff so I can travel light for a change. So far, it hasn't happened. That's why I won't buy furniture! Imagine having to move around so much with a ton of furniture! I was really early, more than an hour. I checked in and took advantage of the free wifi. I watched the rest of the bachelor, Shaun's season. And real housewives of somewhere or other. I was so excited, I literally was on cloud nine!

I had on my heaviest outfit to save space, you know how it it! I had on these knee high suede boots with rubber soles, and a velvet or whatever that material is called, tracksuit. It wasn't warm, just ok, so I could get away with it. And I heard that it was already called in Salt Lake City. An hour and a half later, we arrived in Phoenix! Phoenix is in the desert, IT.IS.HOT! I didn't take that into consideration I guess. Dan was there within minutes of my arrival. It was nice to meet him. What a pleasant guy. I don't think him and my sister would have hit it off though. Just Saying. He told me to take a few pictures of the two of us and send them to my sister to prove to her that he really does exist. You know, seeing as they met online and never really met met? I was like, come on, you guys talked over the phone for more than a year!

He took me for a spin around Phoenix. Big, Beautiful city! Very clean too. We went for lunch at a Jamaican Restaurant. We sat at a table for two, so we were seated across from each other. The restaurant was also part supermarket, very eclectic! I liked the setup. Dan was telling me about himself, his dating experience and how he hasn't had s3x in more than ten years and has no intention to until he gets married. I literally could feel the other patron's eyes on us. I was like, For goodness Sake, Dan! People will think I'm begging you for s3x, lower your voice! It was all in good fun though. We pretended we were on our first date. He has a girlfriend, South African girl from Thembisa, who when he went to see her for the first time (they met online), took him to her church; Zion. He was like, tell me about that religion.

After lunch, we drove around some more. Then he showed me the mountains where he normally hikes. We parked and went for a stroll. It was scorching hot out! The stroll turned into a hike. I was like, uhm, what are we doing? Where are we going? ARE WE HIKING? In the middle of the day while I'm on a layover, dressed as warm as I am in this weather? He was like well, we have to do something! I was like, with all due respect, Dan, I am not going to go on a hike, sweat up a storm and then go on a plane and sit next to people! I will not be that guy. Nobody likes that guy! Even though he didn't get my point, he just went along. We headed back for the airport. I was still on time.

I waited for them to announce check-in. I heard a few announcements about the flight to Salt Lake City, soon after that people formed a line, so I stood in line. I kept looking at the clock, it was time to leave and the gates were still not open. That's when I went to the guy and asked if there were delays. They told me my flight was about to depart, they had changed gates, that's what that announcement I missed was! I got a ride from those car things in the airport? The guy rushed me to the other end of the huge Sky Harbour Airport! We got there 15 minutes before departure. The gates had closed. I had missed my flight.

The Date

The entire time Dave was putting my stuff in the truck, Mrs was standing outside watching. I don't know if she was trying to intimidate us or what. Don't care.

Dave Drove off. I couldn't believe I was out of that hellhole! #ReleasedFromPrison
It was a beautiful day out, I can't believe I was freezing my hinds off in that newer, bigger house of Madam's. Free at last! Dave didn't seem very talkative. We talked about basic staff as we headed for Ontario. He suggested we dropped off my stuff at his place, go on our date, pick up the stuff, then head for Mae's. Of course, I had already talked to Mae the day before and she told me to go back, I never would have made her that kind of a surprise. I was like, so we just met and you're already taking me home? He was like, I won't make you do anything you don't want to do! #FamousLastWords. Puke! I wish guys would stop saying that. It's not cool nor smooth. Anyway, we went to Dave's place because he also wanted me to see his house.

It's right by the main road. It's a workshop. There are about six of them in the yard, they fix all kinds of stuff there. Some people were working on cars, some doing carpentry, you name it! Dave fixes Computers and builds guitars from scratch. Very impressive, actually. He had already given me his website, I had seen some of his work. To see them in person, at his place, very cute! His place is very cosy, actually. A one bedroom with washer and dryer, a shower and anything he needs really. He was starting over since the divorce. I don't judge. I have enough of my mess. He had done his workshop up really good. Oh and he had  a few motorcycles in there as well which added to the cool factor. When I got in, I got why he wanted me to see his place. It was cool, and different.

He dropped my stuff off, then we went to Claremont, a burb of or near Ontario. Cool place! Very eclectic! Restaurants, bars and all that. It reminded me of Melville, Joburg and if you know me, you know of my love affair with Melville! He took me to his favourite Record store. We window shopped there for what seemed like forever. Walked up and down the street, then off to his fave restaurant. Unfortunately the line was way too long. Dave is almost too quiet. I would make jokes just to break the silence, you know, good ole fashioned That's what she said jokes? He caught on and when I tripped and said, "ouch!" he went, "nobody every said that to me!" I mean.........! I still don't know if that was a joke or a fact!

We drove off to another one of his fave restaurants. Some family owned place that has been around for more than forty years. They had a long line outside there as well, but we had to eat, so we waited. He told me that their servings are huge. He usually only orders half a serving and even that, he cannot finish. When someone tells you that, it's hard to go ahead and order a full serving, especially when they are paying. So of course, I ordered half a serving too. #Cheapness
We had spaghetti and meatballs. It was absolutely delish!



When they brought our food, I literally went, OMG it's huge! (the serving), he was like, "nobody ever said that to me either!" with totally a straight face! Dude was sitting across from me, the table wasn't that big, I didn't know what to say, how to react, where to look. I was just like, hahahaahha. I mean, awkward! Why are you telling me you have a small p*nis? I don't need to know that, not tonight, not ever! There was a long pause where we were both looking into each other's eyes. Oh maybe it wasn't that long, it just seemed that way?

After a few spoon fulls and a series of awkward moments, we left. We picked up my stuff from his place and he dropped me off at Mae's. The dogs were all in the house, they were barking endlessly, everybody was in bed, Mae wasn't there. It was hectic. I felt bad waking up people at 8pm. I had told
Mae what time to expect me, she was cool with it. Thing is, she wasn't home! I did the walk of shame to the bedroom, fortunately she hadn't locked it. She locks it whenever she's not in there. Even if she's hanging out in the living room. I called to tell her I was there, she couldn't talk, she was at her boyfriend's.

All in all, it was a nice day. Dave asked to see me the following day. There was going to be a biking event in Long Beach. He asked if I wanted to go with him there. That sounded exciting! But I had a feeling I'd never see him again. I accepted. The following morning I chatted with my niece on Whatsapp. She asked what my plans for the day were, I told her nothing. I mentioned in passing that that guy had asked to take me out. I told her I didn't think the date was gonna happen so I was sleeping in. She was like, so you're not gonna get ready because of a feeling? Er, yeah!
No word from Dave all day that day!