The Ring

So I got me a little part time job in a clinic in Vegas. It was about an hour away by bus, that includes a 20 minute break in between. I took two buses.It was perfect for me. I only needed to be there two to three hours per day. I'm not big on serious, full time work. If I work longer hours, I want to do it for a few days, ram all my week's work in a few days and be done with it. You gotta make time for play!

I met a nice lady there. We became friends, she was always in sunglasses indoors. It was quite something. She is a beautiful lady who apparently used to be a groupie back in the day. She hooked up with some celebs. I can't name names. She also has something of Justin Bieber's. No, she wasn't Bieber's groupie! She told me that they were never allowed to take their cellphones into the parties with them in case they took pictures or videos and sold footage of something that's not supposed to be seen by public. I get it, I work on tv shows, I know all about non-disclosures. We planned to hang out outside of work but it just didn't happen. She had three kids, and two jobs, and not that much time for new friends, I guess. She was good fun at work though.

The rest of the people there were very interesting characters. Groupie was my saving grace.

One afternoon, while minding my business, I got an email from one of my sisters asking if I was available to Skype. I was. Just as I was looking on, I heard a knock on the door. Who could it be? I came out, there was no one! They did leave a big box outside for me.  It was my rings!

Now what? I did get a bit excited, I must say! I ripped the packaging open and got to the rings. There were two, the engagement and wedding band. I tried on the engagement, it fit like a glove! The band was a size too big and too thin for my liking. It was also too thin for the engagement. Not that any of that mattered because I had broken up with the groom. I put the rings on and Skyped my sister. She flipped when she saw the rings. I was like yeah but it's over. Too little, too late!

White Gold with Diamond

Charlie had never stopped calling and texting, but I had blocked him. I blocked him on Facebook as well as he would contact me there. He called me once from a number I didn't recognise. When I picked up, he was so shocked, he didn't know what to say. I thought to myself, you called, you knew you were calling me. I didn't know it was you calling because I don't know the number. You should've been more prepared than me that I was going to be on the other side of the phone. He told me that he had been texting me, and asked why I didn't text him back. I felt bad for him and told him to text me again. I unblocked him for a split second. We talked for a bit. He wanted to come see me the following day. I agreed.

The following day, Charlie showed up with a ring on his finger. He had a yellow gold band on his ring finger.

Charlie's Ring and Mine

I didn't even ask about that. What for? I had my ring on when he came, I quickly took it off and put it back into the box. He saw the box on my shelf because he's very nosy, he has very wondering eyes. He is the person who will always find things that you have hid from him. The fact that you have to hide things from him is a red flag, actually. He saw the box, opened the ring and started critiquing it. I told him that I didn't care what he thought of the ring, that's not why he was there plus it was my ring and my choice, he should worry about his fingers, not mine. He told me I should've let him pick a ring for me, he would've done a much better job. I thought to myself, I'm so glad  I broke up with this fool! What person, who, after you broke up with them and blocked them all over the show and you finally give them a chance to see you, acts like such a dick? He just has no sense of: time or place! In which case, with him, it's never the time nor place to do or say anything.

Charllie's watch and my ring

That meeting didn't last long, I knew I made the best decision for myself when I broke up with Charlie. I kept the ring for weeks. I would sometimes wear it and enjoy seeing it sparkle under light. After a while, I took it off and put it as out of sight as possible, One day, I decided that I was really ready to move on for that what could've been chapter of my life. I returned the rings.

I hope that was the last time I had a close call. I have had too many of them to care. My first engagement ring from when I was 21 should still be back in Africa.

I got a nice long email one day from a guy who we will call Jim. Jim was age appropriate, he was in his early 40's, he was looking for a serious relationship. He had a 10 or so year old son that he saw every so often, he lived in a very small mining town in Arizona where the houses were owned by the mine, so the staff only had to pay about $250 for three bedroom houses. Talk about Christmas in June! He and I exchanged a number of emails. He seemed sincere, he would send really long emails and always included pictures of what he was talking about. He sent me a picture of the view from his house, which included that of his Hummer (balling!), one of his new Orange Harley Davidson (flossing!), a number of selfies, some in uniform, he had a nice supervisory position at the mine. He had been working there for about ten years. He told me that he would understand if I didn't want to stay in that small town forever. It's not for everyone, I mean, the population is 500. or so, that's crazy! Everyone knows everyone. I would have been the only person they didn't know. Jim told me that he wanted to work for a few more years at the mine, and then find a job somewhere in California where he would subsequently move to. He also was waiting for his son to finish high school. I guess his son was 14. I remember Jim had four more years to be fully responsible of his son.

We talked about a whole lot before he told me he was about to head to Florida on vacation. He told me he was going to leave in a couple of days but would definitely keep in touch. I was so excited to have come in contact with someone like him. It had been a while since I had met a decent prospect. We exchanged emails daily for about a week before his vacation. I didn't hear back from him the day before his vacation. I decided to shoot him a bon voyage email to which he replied immediately. That turned me kinda off because I had sent him a long ass email responding to an email I had gotten from him and he just never replied to that. We exchanged a few emails after the bon voyage one. I didn't want to be like, so, uh, are you gonna reply to that email? You know that one? I just let it slide and hoped that he would go over our conversations when he had time and find that there was one he hadn't replied to. I can't stand repeating myself. Also, you don't know if someone didn't hear the question or they intentionally ignored it.

I got an email from Jim when he was leaving for the airport. He left around ten the night before and spent the night in a hotel in Arizona, then flew out to Florida the following morning around 3. He said it was easier that way than to try and catch a 3am flight all the way from his town which was 3 hours away from Arizona. He was to email me when he arrived in Florida where he was going to stay for about four days and then go on a cruise, then back to Florida, then back to AZ. I was in such high spirits since meeting him.

This was around the same time, I decided to start reading self help books, my favorite genre when I do read! I was thinking positively, or at least, trying, I wanted things to work out. He had promised to come see me in Vegas, I wanted to believe that he was really going to and it was going to work out great.

Around that time, I was monitoring my thoughts, wanting to see where I could make improvements. I realised that I wasn't as positive a thinker as I thought I was. Majority of my thoughts, even if they started off positive, they would end up in a really weird place. Sometimes I would cover the whole pessimism up with humor but the bottom line, it was negative. I tell you, it was so much work to monitor my own thoughts and try to change course and face the east every time I found myself going South. I know! East is not the opposite of South but who's counting? Counting? But these are directions, not numbers?!?!?!? ;)

Big Foot

More on senior citizen!

I got into my place, took off my clothes and breathed a sigh of relief that I was back in the comfort of my own home. I called Senior one more time. He picked up. He was completely out of breath! I'm like! You're out of breath! He told me he had just arrived home. He went to the grocery store after my no show at the casino on his bike. I was like, you ride a bike? He told me that he was renting a house from someone who lives in California, they let him use the entire house but the main bedroom which they use when they are in Vegas, they also let him use their bike. For a split second, I thought he was cool people, until I found out, he was referring to a bicycle. I thought to myself, Dang, Brook, you got it made this time! An almost 60 year old dude whose only means of transportation is a bicycle. Perfect!

I apologised that I was late and explained that had happened. He told me that he passed the second bus that I took to the casino and saw that there were only a few people in there. He thought to himself that there was no way  I would be in there,  I definitely wasn't coming! I was like, how do you get to the conclusion that I can't be one of the few people on the bus? I was! I was on that bus! I saw someone on a bike at the light, was that you? 'Yes, it was!' He was flabbergasted that I was on that bus. I don't know why, I told him I was taking the bu, it's not like I had told him I was going to take charter a private jet and all of a sudden I pulled up in a bus! I apologised, he apologised and asked if I wanted to meet another day. I told him that the day was still young, we could still meet that day. He offered to come to my neck of the woods. We agreed on The Stratosphere which was a 5 minute walk from my place. Fair!

He called me as he was leaving his house and told me he would be there in an hours, by then I knew the drill, it was the same route I had taken that morning. I put on the very same outfit I had on that morning and made my way to part II of our first date. We arrived at the same time! Good, no walking around trying to find each other because one of us does not have a cellphone in 2014. He looked so much better in person! He was a good looking guy with nice teeth, nice shape but they could've used a little brushing. You know when it looks like someone hasn't brushed their teeth in a couple of days? #awkward Those are the people that will try to kiss you too! It's like, they are trying to spread the love. Yuck! Love of plague!

We found a seat, he reiterated to me that he was low on cash, then asked me what I wanted to drink. I just had a glass of water and diet soda. We sat there and talked a little bit. He laughed a lot, like when he laughs, he laughs out loud. I guess he was happy. He also thought I was funny, which was nice, so I guess I might have contributed to why he laughed so much. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he told me I have pretty hands. He also told me my hands are small, they're not small. I have hands that a proportional to rest of me in size. He put my hands against his gigantic hands. He's 6'2" (189cm) and has the biggest hands. From there, it went down, fast! Before I knew it, he was telling me he has a big penis. I mean, not in so many words, but he asked what size shoe I was, he liked my shoes, I told him, I would tell him my shoe size when he is on the way to the store to buy my shoes. Basically, it's on a need to know basis. that's when he told me to look at his feet. He told me that he's a size 13 or 14. Can't remember, don't care! I've seen men who have big  "feet" that don't work like they're supposed to, so please!

We moved from the casino side to a cute cafe where the waiters sing songs as they serve people. It was a different experience for me. The first time I thought, oh Vegas! How I love there! I thought the waiter was probably high and decided to belt out in song, but then, everyone joined in. That's when I knew they meant business. Senior told me he had enough money for me to order at least an appetiser (starter). As I was looking at the menu, he suggest we have one entree (main course) to share. I didn't really have much of a choice. He had made up his mind. He ordered something that had a little bit of everything, which was a good choice. While still waiting, they brought us complimentary tortilla chips with dip. He double dipped from the first chip, I tell ya, I was gagging! Main course arrived, He was all over that thing, I was just like, yuck! The man was hungry!

As we were eating, he told me that the bus dropped him off right by the Chapel where he got married to his firstwife. He told me that he saw that as a good sign. He was like, if I were down, we could go there there and then and get hitched. I laughed and thanked him for such a great offer but I didn't think getting married where he got married to another woman was a good idea. He had been married three times and divorced three times. The third wife was the most amazing person he ever met, she stayed with him even though he was diagnosed of cancer just after they met and took care of him until he beat it! He asked me if I knew what testicular cancer was. I thought to myself, great, from penis sizes to testicles, what else are we gonna talk about tonight? I told him  I knew what testicles are. I'm African, not dumb!  He told me that that's the kind of cancer he had. He was fully recovered though but he hoped that I didn't mind that he only had one testicle. Gggaaagggg!

Most awkward conversation on a date ever!  And I've been on some interesting dates! After all that, I told him it was past my bedtime. He walked me halfway home. He tried to walk me all the way but I told him I lived really close and I felt safe walking home. He told me he was a gentleman and therefore insisted on walking me, that's when I let him walk me halfway. When I told him I was close enough, he asked me where my house was. I thought, dang, this dude is nosy! I bade him good night and as I was walking away, he grabbed me, gave me a hug. Gurl, I knew that kiss was coming, so, I kept my face facing all the way there as much as possible. He asked me if I didn't like him. I told him it was really late and I really needed to get going.

He had asked to see me the following weekend. He asked me before the first date. He wanted to go to the park for a picnic, I guess that all was part of the low on cash budget theme.He was going to make us sandwiches. He told me that I could always hang out with him at his place, he had a big TV that came with the house that came with the bicycle. He also did tell me that because of everything he had been through, his uhm 'big foot' doesn't work as well as it should. His ex wife was understanding for a while but she was young and told him that she had to go and find her orgasms happiness out there, so she did! He thought he'd warn me before hand, just in case I also want orgasms the same kind of happiness that she wants. I thought to myself, this dude really has nothing to offer, zero, nada!

He called me the following day or so, I sadly couldn't justify picking up his calls. He sent a few emails, again, I couldn't find reason enough to return his emails.

Senior Citizenship

After my tumultuous relationship with Charlie, I did some serious regrouping. I was not going to involve myself in such a messy relationshit relationship again. I did a lot of introspection. Some reading. You know sht if you see me reading! I hadn't been a reader for decades! I used to be, growing up. I would lock myself up in a room we never used at home and read anything I could find until I dozed off and wake up and read some more. I guess it was time to go back to my roots.

I still had my profiles on line. I never really removed them because the dude I was dating never stopped chatting up women on line. I wasn't active but he was never worth me going out of my way to remove my profiles. One day, I did that thing that I have done so many times before without any success. I posted an ad looking for a husband. I stated on the ad that I wanted to get married ASAP. I didn't expect anybody to take me up on it. I posted in Vegas, LA and Phoenix. The one in LA was flagged as SPAM and deleted as soon as I posted it. Oops! Nothing came out of the one in Vegas but Phoenix! Well! This man, who was my mom's age, messaged me, telling me he was an attorney, he had his own 3 bedroom condo that he was about done paying for, he drove a convertible Mustang, 2014 (in 2014). He wanted to come marry me in Vegas and take me back with him to Phoenix. I said, 'sure, let's do it!' In my head, I didn't see it happening but I didn't have much to do with my time. I wanted to see how far he was going to take it.

We happened to be on the same dating site, he emailed me on that site as well and showed interest. he was a year older on the site than on the email he sent in response to my ad. Just a year, I don't know why he felt the need not to be inconsistent. It actually made me wonder if he were the age he said he was to begin with. I honestly think he was past 100 years old. Just my opinion. He asked for my number and asked if he could call. He told me he wanted to get married the following weekend. I had to give the dude my number, right? So I did! He called and told me that he was on the way to work, he was driving his convertible with the top down. He couldn't wait to drive me around top down too. I thought to myself this dude is insecure about something, who says these things? He asked what the story of my life was. He wanted a 5 minute summary of it, so I gave it to him. No pun intended. He in turn told me the story of his life. His was about 2 hours long. Unfair much? Girl! I was yawning! What a bore! If you are going to start telling me the story of your life from birth, and you are 100 years old, when are we gonna get to 100? I know we're about to get married but, pls, spare me! I don't care if you used to be an athlete that had scholarships 70 years ago. Are you athletic now? No! Well.... That's like me saying I used to be skinny, up until teenage years. Come on!

He told me that he was going to come visit me the following weekend, hang out, see if we have chemistry. If we did, he was then going to marry me the following weekend. The story had already changed from marrying me the following weekend to a visit. I told him as long as his way of checking if we have chemistry didn't include me sleeping with him cos that wasn't going to happen. he got defensive and said that I was making him out to be a jerk blah blah blah. Defend yourself lawyer!

He always called me when he was driving (top down) to work in the afternoon. Turned out, he worked at Walmart as security. Long story about how he retired as an attorney and just worked to kill time because he was still very agile for his age. I have a feeling he was trying to imply something but I didn't care. I know of some really old attorneys, I didn't get why he resigned. Only to work for minimum wage at Walmart. Give me a break! Once they hear that I'm from Africa, they start acting really funny, as if I'm not fully developed in my brain or not fully human or something! He clearly thought I was thick headed to think I would believe these stories.

Speaking of stories, towards the end of the week, he asked for my full names. I was like, uh, why? He was trying to book me a ticket to Phoenix. Uhm, WHAT? He told me that as we had discussed, he thought he would get going on that ticket thing. Discussed when? Where? Who? How? Whaaaatttt? He was like, remember  I told you I was going to book you a ticket to come visit me so we can see if we have chemistry, then we can continue dating for a while and see where this takes us. I was like, you're so cute!

I asked about his living arrangement. He told me that he had a couple of girls who stay at his place. He was helping them out, they are just friends. I also picked up from his story that they were paying rent. Oh Gosh, even though I was just talking to him to kill time, I couldn't do it anymore, it was just too much of a waste of time.

I got an email from a guy who wanted me to move in with him in Phoenix, he lived in a studio with his cat or dog or both, can't remember but he lived in a very messy, tiny apartment with animals. The whole things was so gross and such a turn off, I didn't want to even continue talking him. Plus, I think he had some sort of mental situation.

Out of nowhere, I got an email from my Vegas people. Dude sent me a picture of him driving with his daughter in the backseat. Automatically, I knew it wasn't going to work. I am not looking to be a step mom. I did talk to him though, if anything, we could just be friends. His birthday was on April 9th, mine is on the 10th, the old man's in on the 7th, just like my mom's. We didn't talk for long before 9th wanted to meet up. I agreed. He asked where I lived, I told him close to SLS hotel and Casino. He said to meet there. Which worked great. I just walked there. He asked me not to dress up because he only had jeans and a t-shirt on. Never in my dating life has someone asked me not to dress up. I put on leggings and a blouse and heels and walked to SLS.

It was a six minute walk, really close to my place. SLS was a new resort that had just opened not to long since. It was nice to get a chance to check it out. We walked around and ended up at a bar. 9th had a beer, or two, or six. Who's counting? Dude had a lot of beers though! Apparently he has had problems with alcohol before but had slowed it down. If that was him on a slow day.....! We talked about all kinds of things. We didn't have any chemistry, plus I wasn't looking for chemistry with him, so it was cool. He dropped me off after our date and texted me that evening that he had a nice time. We texted back and forth for a few days and it all frizzled out.

I got another email from Vegas from another old man. 9th was age appropriate, it just never would've worked out what with the baby situation. Also, it turned out he was recently separated, was crashing on a friend's couch and had three kids, the one in the picture was the youngest. The email was from a man in his 50's. I believe he said he was 55. He looked 75 but who am I to judge? He was retired and lived alone in a house not far from where I lived. He was looking for a woman. We talked on the phone. He had the nicest voice! We arranged to meet up in person. He seemed sweet over the phone. He did ask me a few times if I am strict. I thought that was a weird question for an old man to ask a child. The man was old enough to be my father after all. He would ask if I am controlling. I had a feeling he was looking for someone to control him. I mean, if you're 75, why not try to find someone who is, mh, 98-100 to control you? Why would you want to be controlled by a child?

We talked over the phone for a few days before we met. He uhm, was low on cash, so we had to wait until he got paid to take me out. Red Flag! I was like, sure! He told me how much he had left in the bank for the rest of the month. I really didn't need to know that. He mentioned how he was looking for someone who was going to be an equal in the relationship. I thought, that's definitely not going to work. I am not trying to be an equal with an old man who is already retired by 55. Why did you retire if your ass is still broke? That's crazy! You can't be lazy and expect to be supported and controlled by strict children you met on the internet! The fck!

He told me he likes to bowl, he was semi-professional. He proposed to meet up at a bowling alley in a casino not to far from where he lived. the place was so far from my place! I agreed though because I'm a great sport like that! no pun intended, Bowling - sport - get it? By the way I can't stand people who do that, who make a joke and then explain it and ask if I got it. Yes, I got it, what? You think I'm slow?

The man didn't have a cellphone (Red Flag), we talked that morning, he was going to go somewhere before he headed to the meeting spot. There was no way of contacting him afterwards. I just had to show up at the bowling alley to meet him. I missed my bus and the next one was going to show up an hour later. I hoped he was smart enough to take my number with him and ask to use someone's phone to call me. I waited for the bus and hoped for the call. I also thought that maybe he was going to play or whatever for another hour.

Initially, he had told me that he was going to go for breakfast, then meet me. Bowl with me, then if we got along, take me to lunch. I was like, you gonna make me work up an appetite and then not feed me if we don't get along. Why don't we either go for breakfast together or lunch together? Who doesn't feed a girl on a date? I asked him if he was trying to save money and if the Bowling session was complimentary too. To my surprise, he told me that the session was complimentary. He played so often that he accumulated a bunch of free sessions. Great, I had to travel an entire hour to a free date that nobody was paying for! We agreed that we were going to do lunch, regardless.

So, I called his house and left a message about my missing the bus, in case he had a way of checking his messages from wherever he was. I doubted it but I had to take a chance, also, in case we missed each other, he could find solace in the fact that I did try. Even though, he's not my type or anything, I am not in the business of hurting people's feelings. As I was heading out, now wanting to miss yet another bus, I locked myself out. I literally realised that I had locked the lock that doesn't have a key as soon as I pulled the door shut. There was no time to try and figure that out. I just had to leave, I only hoped that there would be someone around to help get me back into my place after my date.

I took the first bus to the casino, no phone call on that ride! ' Got off that and took another one, as I'm on the bus, I am looking around to see if there's anybody who resembles him but then again, I only had one picture of him. People don't always like their pictures. I arrived at the casino an our after I was supposed to. I didn't know how I felt about whether he was going to be there. You know how you can have a feeling that he's gonna be there waiting? I didn't have any feeling at all! I walked up the stairs, my gosh! I have never seen so many senior citizens in the same spot in my life.... and I've worked in nursing homes!

Trying to find one senior citizens in a sea of senior citizens in a dimly lit bowling alley proved to be no fun at all! The old women were looking at me cockeyed, probably thinking I was going to steal their old husbands in wheelchairs/walkers, with oxygen tanks. It was crazy!  I took pictures of the place so I could show my date that I really did go there and walked out. I waited for the next bus. It showed up in 30 minutes. I went back home. My main concern then was how I was going to get back into my air conditioned apt in that heat. I got lucky, landlord was home! She gave me a tool she always gave the previous tenants when they locked themselves out and I quickly opened the lock. I love how that's a thing. That people normally lock themselves out and yet nothing was done to fix the problem. I loved it enough that as soon as I got in, I took out the lock, put the engine in a safe place and put the door handle pack. Problem freaking solved! I had locked myself out twice, I wasn't going to wait for third time is a charm to do something about it.

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

Did I tell you about the pictures I found in Charlie's phone? He was showing me something in his phone and I did what he does and went through the rest of his photo folders. I found pictures of his bubble butt. Who has a picture of their butt? How do you end up with a picture of your butt? Like, do you take the picture yourself or does someone do it for  you? If it's the latter, who did it for Charlie? There were two of those pictures, in one, you could see part of his package from the back. They were in a list named Craig's List. Thanks Android! I was like The fuuuuccccckkkkk!?!?!?!? He freaked out and tried to back paddle out of it. I was like who took this picture? He told me that he did so himself. I didn't know what to ask next. What would you do? How would you handle this? Email me, comment here, on FB, twitter, Whatsapp, wherever you can reach me. I wold love to hear your views on this.

He had obviously posted an ad on Craig's List and posted those pictures with it. You're not gonna tell me that he was looking for a woman with this butt pictures? That's stuff men who are looking for men post! Am I right? He told me that he was bored when he posted it. He didn't specifically target men, he just wanted to see who would respond to that ad. Basically his ass (no pun intended) is sexually fluid. WTF? Between that and the 62 year old 'roommate', I really shouldn't have been that surprised. Who sleeps in the same bed with a roommate, most of all a man sleeping in the same bed as a male roommate he has been sending dick pics too?  Gimme a mutha freaking break! Shout out to all the LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual. No H8!) All this and the fact that he was still talking to other  women while in a relationship with me. We were talking about marriage, I had ordered the ring, he didn't know that yet but he had given me money for it, so that was a done deal! Also, he had already bought a suit, I mean it was all systems go on that front. What the phuck was he doing posting ads, talking to other women, fishing for Filipino women? After the Craig's list saga, I had to get him back. I was on my computer next to him in bed and I flipped through old pictures. I may or may not have some pretty incriminating pictures. Think Jennifer Lawrence's leaked pictures but worse! If they were to be made into a slide show, they would be a sex tape. Charlie looked my way, saw them and was like What the heck? I closed the folder. I pretended like I didn't want him to see. Just like he acts when he is chatting with women online with me right there and pretends like he didn't want me to see. He got so upset! He asked who that was, when that was, why I kept the pictures and why  I was looking at them. I was just like oops! My bad! With the biggest smirk on my face. #InYourFace! I mean, at my age, I don't want to be in that kind of a relationship. One where I have to pull those kinds of tricks. That's beneath me. Plus, I don't want to be with someone who makes me wish I were still sleeping with the person in the pictures cos sex was so much better with him.

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            One day, while at Charlie's; it was his day off. We did the usual stuff, laundry, he was the one who always did our laundry, sweet, right? Aawwww? I know, but the hot and cold of our relationship can take a toll on ya! We then took a walk to 7eleven and rented a couple of DVD's, or 4. I can't remember. They had one of those rent one get one free specials. We both have memberships, so we would use all our coupons and watch a ton of movies. I suggested we rent The hangover, I hadn't seen the latest one, he hadn't seen the one before that. I told him to take both. I was tired. I had been up the previous night. He works nights, so it's kinda crazy on his off days, sometimes he just automatically stays up at night. So I was up with him. I dozed off while he was watching the Hangover I had already seen. No big deal because we rented it for him. I am not one to watch the same movie more than once.

Charlie kept waking me up. I was like, dude! I have seen this already and I'm tired. Wake me up when you're done, we'll watch the second DVD together. He kept waking me up, he would jump on top of me and bounce up and down. I mean, were you raised by the wolves? Who does that? Who wakes up someone when they are sleeping? What kind of love was that?

Later that evening, I opened my eyes for a split second and saw Charlie coming to bed from the area where his speakers are. My head felt like it was about to explode, my ears were ringing. He had just blasted the sound to the maximum to wake me up. The ffffuuuuuccckkkk! That's what I would've said if I were the person who screams when I'm mad. Or one that reacted immediately to situations.  I went to the bathroom, man! My ears! I asked him what just happened. He told me it was his last resort to wake me up. He was bored, he wanted me to wake up and keep him company. You're watching a movie! It's 8pm. How lonely can you be? You can always just go to sleep! I am so sleepy because I kept your needy ass company the night before? What do you want from me? All thoughts in my head!

I went back to bed. I sat there frazzled. Wondering if I had just lost my hearing, especially in my left ear. I was laying on my right side, I think that's what saved my right ear. I went on line and googled some things about hearing and some people said that sometimes the loss doesn't happen immediately, but it was in the cards. I thought to myself, what would it take for me to leave that guy. He pointed at me with a gun. I stayed, what was I waiting for? A body bag? I didn't come to America for this! I am an amazing person with so much to offer, I wasn't going to allow myself to be in that messy situation any longer. I took my stuff which he had washed for me earlier that morning, took the rest of my sht from the closet and the bathroom. I got so emotional as I was doing that, I might have shed a tear or two. I knew it was the end. I was done! I told him that I had really tried but I had no more to give to him and that relationship. I suggested he get help because he needed it and I was not qualified to do so for him. I said it in a nice manner. I gave him my set of keys and walked out.

As I walked out, he said something really jerky, something along the lines that I could leave if I wanted to but if I wanted him to beg me, he wasn't going to do that. I felt bad for him that those were going to be the last words he was going to say to me after everything we had been through.

This was about 8:30 pm. As I got to the bus stop, I got a text from him, verbatim, "Your so emotional" I didn't reply. That was him starting a conversation that was just gonna keep going forever as if he didn't just cost me my hearing. He was totally oblivious to that fact. Even though I told him the potential repercussions of what he had done.

When I got off the bus near my house, I felt great! I was dragging a big bag full of clothes but I felt like I had just offloaded the biggest load I had ever carried. I knew I made the right decision. It was time! Or rather, long over due!

I was grateful to have made it out of that relationship not in a body bag. I'm alive!!!!!!!!!!

The next few days, I lived on pain pills and a few remedies from the internet. One was to put olive oil drops in the ear, I did that religiously. It was crazy! I was angry at Charlie. In his defense, he showed me a long time ago who he is. I should've believed him and got out.On day
3, I was so mad that I was nursing an earache that I didn't know whether was going to result in something more serious or permanent; I sent Charlie a text telling him, he had to take me to the doctor's. He denied the whole thing. He told me I was just being dramatic. I got more mad, he has an innate ability to make my day worse after talking to him. especially after breaking up with him.

After a week or so, the pain went away. I am happy to announce that I am completely healed now! I actually completely forgot about this incident, I had to dig deep in my archives to find out to tell you how it all ended with Charlie. I think now we can move it to the recycle bin and permanently delete all files in the recycle bin.

Charles didn't go quietly! He kept calling, texting. Facebooking, I had to block him. I blocked him on FB, he used his other profile to contact me. I had forgotten something of mine at his place. I asked him to bring it. He was so excited. When he got there, I pretended like I wasn't there. There was no need to see each other, just drop the thing and leave. Bye Felicia! He once bought me flowers and dropped them outside. He then sent me a text to check outside. I was almost nervous. You just never know with him! I loved the flowers. I kept them!

After a few weeks, he called me. It was the weekend. First he texted me telling me he got hurt. He crashed the bike. I mean, he's like a 3 year old who will do anything for attention. He literally stopped growing at age 3, I think. I asked if he was ok. He told me he wasn't. He then called crying "Oh nooooo! Oh nooo!"  Apparently, he got cut in his foot, his bone was showing. I told him to go to the hospital. He told me his insurance hadn't been paid in months. He used to show off with me talking about he has the best insurance meanwhile he wasn't even paying for it. Because I am a nice person, I went to his place. We went to the hospital together. He couldn't ride the bike. He wanted to but I refused to be a part of that mess. He just crashed the thing for goodness sakes!

When I got to his apartment, his neighbor saw me and told me he was inside and wasn't doing to good. Walking in, I knew I was no longer a part of that life! Nothing triggered inside me at all. I saw a sht load of dishes. The maid had left, pointing at self! He still had some of the food I had cooked him two weeks prior in the fridge. It was almost sad. He told me I shouldn't have come, he was gonna get ready to go to work. I was like, how? Looking like this? I told him to take the day off at least. He called the office, talked to the receptionist. He is such an attention seeker, I was like just tell them you're not feeling well, they don't need to know your business. But because Charlie is himself, he needs everyone to know everything that's going on in his life, so he went into detail about his injury. The lady told him he had two options;  to either go to the hospital and get a doctor's note or go to work. But he kept explaining to her how bad it was so that she could feel bad for him. The lady was like, seems like this is bad, you have to go to the doctor. By law, now that you told me how bad the injury is, I can't let you come to work like that because if anything happens to you or while you are here and you aren't able to take care of it, it will be my fault. I was like. He walked right into that one. I was so glad I was no longer a part of that relationship. That would have pissed me so off!

After the call, Charlie was like, "Dang it! I messed up! I  shouldn't have called work! You told me to call in!" Just like that, the whole thing became my fault! I didn't care enough to care! I knew I was just there for a couple of hours, then I was gonna head back home. We finally headed for the hospital. We took the bus, Charlie was hopping on one leg, explaining to everyone what had happened to him. People didn't wanna know! It was late at night, people were minding their own businesses. Charlie tried to tell me how it all went down, I was like, let me tell you what happened, you saw a crowd, you automatically assumed they were looking at you, thinking about you, so you wanted to show off and performed a trick that you suck at and the whole thing fell flat on it's face. The very people you were showing off to, had to call 911 for you. Am I right or am I right? He was like, "How do you know?" N word please! I know you! All your attempts always fall flat on their face! Nothing you do becomes a success! I didn't say that but I sure thought it!

We arrived at the hospital, he was flirting with the nurses, left right and centre. I waited for him in the waiting room while the doctor called him in. Later, I asked to see him. When I got in there, the doctor had given him the entire week off. No work, no pay in America! It was gonna be a tough week for him. He had already gotten his script of Vicodin. The thing was already on Facebook. He took a picture, posted it and captioned it   something about him about to get high on it. Not the smartest thing to do when all his friends on FB are his colleagues. We finally left the hospital. It was really late at night, there weren't that many buses. We went to Burger King. He bought dinner while we were waiting for the bus at the stop. We got off really far from where we were going but that was the only bus we could take. It was around midnight. We walked towards 7eleven. On our way there, we passed a bunch of black guys at an apartment parking lot. What does Charles say? "My nigger, my nigger!" Out loud! I  went, ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU'RE GONNA GET KILLED! Who says that? Especially when you're not even black! He told me they can't do anything to him, he has a gun. I told you that gun is his oxygen. I was like but you have one leg, you couldn't run to save your life! A bunch of guys versus one crippled man! My money goes to the guys! He was so silly to do that! That was rude and offensive. He kept tapping his gun telling me not to worry about him, he's fine.

At the hospital, people we so uncomfortable around him with that guy. He was so loud and obnoxious too because he had the gun, it gave him the false sense of security it always does. He might have a gun, he doesn't know what the next person has! Those guys could've had machine guns, he doesn't know that! How can you trust a bunch of guys at a parking lot in the middle of the night in Vegas? Come on now!

He rented a couple of movies, one for me and one for him. His idea. We walked the rest of the distance to his place. It wasn't a long walk, it's just that, he was hopping. He was in good shape so, he  managed. I was still walking and talking to him, I turn around and there he was on the other side of the street. He crossed the street while I was having talking to him. When I noticed, he burst out laughing. He thought that it was funny to make fun of someone who doesn't owe you anything, but still dropped everything to be with you in a time of need.

I didn't react to any of his tricks. When we arrived at his place, I asked if he needed anything. He told me he was fine, he could walk. He can get himself something if he needs it. I said, ok then. I'm glad you're ok. I have to go otherwise I'll miss the bus. He was like, What the heck? You're leaving? Yes, I don't live here, remember? He said asked why I let him rent me a movie if I knew I wasn't going to stay. He told me that's what I did to him last time I was there as well, I left him there with a bunch of movies he had rented for both of us. I was like, I gotta go. The bus is coming. See Ya!

The Fugitive

While at the shooting range aka desert, Charlie told his friend about his accomplishments, his job, how much he makes per hour, how much his rent is and how much he had in his savings. I thought to myself this dude is crazy! Who discloses this kind of information? Especially how much you have saved? To people who are unemployed of all people? That's when people come up with problems that only you can save with that money you told them about! That or it's like you're rubbing it in, it's just not cool no matter which angle you look at it from. But that's Charlie! I'm surprised he still hasn't gotten shot... with his own gun!

After he lent all his savings to his friend and colleague who made more money than him, he had to start from scratch saving for the ring. He would give me some money every week when he got paid. I kept it at my place. While in the process of saving for a ring, Charlie suggested, yet again, that I moved in. We had a full on discussion about things he was willing to compromise like his annoying loud music, that I would have to let him play it for at least ten minutes, really loud every once in a blue moon. He had so many warnings from management about noise levels. I just think it's selfish. Why would you wanna play music THAT loud? He had these amazingly loud speakers that he bought on Amazon, It's the speakers you use for outdoors events. He wants to play them inside the apartment. When he plays them really loud, he stands by the door and watches out for someone who is going to reprimand him, then turns the volume low before they knock. Also, he loves to see the dishes and windows shake. It's crazy! I don't understand how he has such a sharp sense of hearing after all that noise.

I told him I would put in my notice if he promised he wouldn't change his mind again. He promised. I didn't put in my notice. I kept bringing up the move, talking about, oh man, I gotta start parking! He wouldn't comment, I could see he was cringing. That's exactly why I brought it up. To torture him! Because I had the money for the ring with me, he suggested I order it myself online. I found one I liked, white gold with diamond. I ordered it and didn't tell him. I wanted to surprise him. Wait, shouldn't it be other way round?

Aaanyway, life went on. One Afternoon, Charlie was at my place. He was about to leave for his place. He had his gun with him. I was sitting on the bed, he was standing next to the bed. He put the gun against my crotch and said, "If you ever leave me, I will shoot you in your vagina. Unlike that other guy, I won't miss!" I had told him about someone who tried to shoot me in my vagina because I wouldn't date him. He told me that if he couldn't have it, no one could. He slapped me back at my face with that story! I told him to remove the gun and to never have that gun around me if he wanted to see me again. I led him out the door. I thought about it overnight (delayed reaction much?) and thought to myself, this is bullshit! I'm going to the police!

I went to work that morning for a few hours, then headed to the police station. I didn't even know where it was and I didn't know what to expect from a Las Vegas police station. I've seen the show The Strip about law enforcement on the Las Vegas Strip. I've also seen the show Jail about intake into the Las Vegas Jail. Both shows were chaotic, there were lots of drunk and high holiday makers. Poor guys, they thought they could go to Vegas, go crazy and go home and there they were, going to jail. I looked up directions on my phone just before it died. I didn't have a power bank or portable charger then. While waiting for the bus in the sun, a lady who had bruises and a baby on her back, who, excuse my judgement, looked like she might know a thing or two about jail came and sat next to me. Naturally, I asked her, she told me where to go. I was about to go. I only had to take one bus. Looked like she should've come along with me to report whoever did that to her but that was none of my business. I had to wish her all the best especially with that baby on her back.

Speaking of arrests, I once met a lady in line, in Vegas, who divulged to me that her family had gone to a party that weekend. It was someone's 21st birthday. They booked the whole club, is booked the right word? Rented? Nah, that sounds even worse. As you can tell, I hadn't been to da club in a minute. Apparently her family doesn't get along (shocker!), they are separated into two groups. Everybody was at the party that night. A fight ensued towards the end of the night. Her cousin thought someone was pulling out a gun, so he fired a shot first! He short two people, a pregnant cousin, ran to his car and blindly fired more shots thereby hitting someone else in the arm. He fled the scene! I was just like, what am I hearing right now? How do you even begin! I am trying to poker face (no pun intended. It being Vegas and all ;)) the sht out of the whole situation but I'm flabbergasted!

The woman went on to tell me that, the other side of the family called the police. She and her side left as soon as the perpetrator left. The perp moved out of his home that night and in with this lady and her family, husband and kids. This lady was harboring a fugitive! What am I gonna do? I don't wanna be implicated in this story! I want her to stop but, it's so dog on juicy, I had to hear it all! I am an avid watcher crime tv shows, from Forensic Files, to The first 48, I almost got away with it (not me! It's the name of a tv show!), Bait car, Cops, Jail, Death Row diaries, Prison diaries, You name it! So to be in the front row of such a story for me was just like, whoooaaaaa! Somebody stop the presses! I could already see that story in the first 48, the police hunting the dude down. Also on I almost got away with it, the dude retelling the story himself in his prison uniform. Man! It was exciting. Sorry for the lives that were lost in the midst of all that.

She told me that her family couldn't stay at her home either because people could easily trace the Perp there, so everybody packed up and went on the run. What?!?!?!?!!? This is real life?!!?!?? And then what happened? They were hiding in a motel somewhere. She told me the suburb where they were staying. That lady was clearly suffering from sleep deprivation. Why would she tell me that story while it was still happening? What if I was a cop? Or a snitch? I knew her name, her cousin's name and where she worked and how long she had worked there for. I had enough information to go to the cops! Right?

They saw on Facebook that morning that the cops were offering $10 000 reward for information leading to the apprehension of the dude. The things I could do with $10 000. That is more than a R100 000 back in South Africa. That's a tenth of a million! She showed me the article. That's how I found out the name of the fugitive. Also, I put it into my phone because I was curious about the story. What if the police came to my house because I suddenly started looking up this random guy online? I don't know the powers of Law Enforcement! Oh Lord!

Back to my not so exciting story! I got off at the police station. I was so deep in thought the entire bus ride wondering if I were doing the right thing. I felt bad for Charlie. I know that he had a rough past, I didn't want him to get arrested. But at the same time, I didn't want him doing something crazy to me and getting away with it. The decision was getting harder and harder as I got closer to the police station. I had to do it though. Who the fck did he think he was pointing at me with a gun? In my private parts for that matter? Where is his loyalty as the man  I was in a serious relationship to bring up one of the worst experiences of my life and make fun of the whole thing. F*ck him!

I went to the first window. There were two lines, not that long. Then there was a section where people were sitting down. I went to the first line, the lady asked me the reason I was there. I told her I wanted to file a report. She asked what about? Then asked me to tell her the whole story. I'm standing behind the glass, everybody in line can hear me. It was ridiculous! Complete invasion of privacy! After that, she told me to wait in the next line, she was going to call a Deputy with whom I was going to file, meaning, my telling her the entire story was just to feed her curiosity. I was going to have to do it all over again with the Deputy. Kill Me!

Deputy, a really handsome gentleman with really light brown eyes that were the same shade as his uniform. He 'assisted' me, I use the term loosely. He wasn't really interested in the whole thing. If I weren't standing in front of him, he would have been rolling his light brown eyes the whole time. I could tell. After that, he asked if I felt safe, if not, they were going to put me in a shelter, I was like gosh no! I thought to myself, I would rather get killed in that apartment, no shelter for me! Hell no! Could you imagine? The more I talked to that non caring police officer, the more I thought, this isn't that bad after all. My life was so much better before I came to this silly police station. He suggested I got a restraining order if I wanted to. I thought about it but at the same time. I was just like is this really what I want to do right now?

I went home when all was sad and done and everything just looked so different. The sky was a weird shade of blue, the sun was a different of yellow, everything was different. It was like someone had just died. Shame on Charlie for putting me through all that! He was supposed to be on my team goddamnit! I got home, got into bed, watched some TV and tried to not think about what could possibly happen after that. I told the police guy when he asked me that I didn't want Charlie to get arrested. He told me that they probably were gonna go to his house and give him some kind of a warning. I thought that was going to be perfect. I know he doesn't want to go back to jail. I wasn't going to give him a heads up. I wanted his ass to be so freaked out when police go for him and be like are you Charlie Charles? If only I could be a fly on that wall. He had told me that when he was arrested, it was firearm related. I was surprised that they let him get a gun license after that but what do I know? I'm just a girl from Africa. I did hope that they would confiscate his gun. That would have been the perfect ending for me and everyone in Vegas. He was such an asshole when he had that gun on him. It was like a spare set of balls for him. Or a couple more inches added to his dick. It just made him feel like he's the sh*t. He had to have known that he really wasn't the sht! Like at all!  A turd maybe!

I didn't talk to Charlie that afternoon. About two hours of so after I got home, a knock on my door! What now? Fck! I don't wanna deal! I didn't open, Brook, open, it's me! I know you're home! Once, when he was at my place, he noticed that the window wasn't locked, he brought that up. I didn't do anything about it. One day, he came by, I didn't feel like talking to him, he opened the window from outside and laughed that he got me. I was so annoyed. I tell you, he did the most annoying things! I had left the window unlocked to prevent a situation where I locked myself outside and had nobody to help unlock the door for me but after he did that, I took the risk and locked the window. Isn't it sad that I had to lock the window to prevent my boyfriend to get in? Crazy! He called me, my phone was on vibrate, so he couldn't hear it. He knocked on the door, no answer, knocked on the window, I was just like, man, what a jerk! He finally gave up. I didn't hear the bike though so I am pretty sure he was still outside hoping I was dumb enough to assume he had left. It was all about winning with him. He wanted to win and be like, gotcha! How can you behave that way and still expect to get laid? That is beyond me! Men, especially men whose bedroom uhm performances aren't much to write home about should know better than that!  Shout out to all my male readers! I've mad love for ya!

He finally left or I fell asleep while pretending to be sleeping. It had been a rough day. One I couldn't talk to Charlie about. I couldn't talk to my family, I didn't want them to worry about me.

I took Charlie's calls the following day. He was the sweetest! He was sucking up because he knows his ass is not indispensable. I just went with it. It was easier that way. One evening, he was over. I was PMSing. I literally was craving everything under the sun. He and I were chatting via text for a while then he asked to come by just for a second. So I was like, sure. We were talking and every time I blinked, all I saw were nuts. I was like mhhh nuts! He has all kinds of nuts at his place. All kinds of everything! Then we saw an ad on tv that had cheese, I was like mhh cheese! He offered to take me out for dinner in case I was hungry. I wasn't hungry, I was hormonal! He did something so sweet, he quickly went to his place, got me a big thing of cheese, nuts and other junk food. I was so touched! He left not too long afterwards. It was good cheese too, not the cheap one I buy from the Dollar stores I shop at haha.

Police called me one afternoon asking if I felt unsafe, I told them I didn't but I was dealing with a very unpredictable character, they needed to know that anything could happen anytime. That was the end of that!

BBC

Badassness!

As we were hiking up the mountain, Charlie told me that he actually left his sleeping bag there when he moved back to civilization, lo and behold, there it was! It was ripped into pieces but it was still there!I mean, it's not like garbage people picked it up. This was the middle of nowhere! Charlie told me told me that the friend hated people that's why he lived there by himself. Apparently, Charlie was the only person he got along with. The dude lived in a cave, literally! We hiked up the mountain, took pictures on our way up, or I did, I was always the one taking pictures. Charlie fired a couple of shots as we were hiking up the mountain. We also called the friend's name out. Charlie told me that the guy has a big dick. I was like, uhm, TMI! (too much information). He was like, you'll love him, he's BBC (Big Black C0ck), then he corrected himself and said BWC (Big White C0ck). I was just like, what kind of conversation is this right now? Charlie had the tendency to obsess over other men's tools. If we're out and he sees a big, tall black man, he's gonna be like, BBC!' like, loud! I'm like WTF? What are you doing? Are you trying to get us killed? I'm like I bet you you don't do that when you're by yourself, don't do it when I'm around please! Weirdo! Whatttt? Who does that? What man does that?

Ammunition

The dude came out, no pun intended, he was tall, really good looking and had a good head of hair! He was also tanned, I mean, he did live in the middle of the desert! He was shirtless, chilling at his place aka the cave, so he just had his shorts on, he has an 8 pack, I almost agreed with Charlie there for a second. The guy was more my type but there are good looking people all over the world, that doesn't mean to hop from one c0ck to another lol. The image of that in my head right now hahaha! I didn't know what to expect meeting that guy.Here's a guy who lives in the mountain, who is said to hate people. I'm a person, is he gonna hate me? We brought a gun and tons of ammunition, is he gonna turn around and shoot at one of us? What if he had a score to settle with Charlie and ends up shooting Charlie with his own gun? All these thoughts came to my mind, fast! We shook hands, he and Charlie caught up. They talked about people I never heard of and situations I could have never imagined. Right there, I wondered, who is this man that I'm dating?

Charlie's apartment block

I think it's important to meet your man's friend and see how he interacts with them. Not having had a lot of serious relationships, I am not accustomed to that. Usually, the only side of a guy I'm dating I know is the one he presents to me and vice versa. Charlie collected a few targets on our way up the mountain, they both set them up and we got to getting! It was kinda nice being in the middle of nowhere just the three of us like that.Especially in such a busy city like Vegas, a 24/7/365 tourist city, not to mention holding a gun and shooting at stuff. All three of us aren't great shots, I was the worst. I did hit the target a number of times though.

It was so hot outside! I can't emphasize that enough! I did have my straw hat but that doesn't prevent the heat from burning your skin. I had my giant water bottle with me, Caveman offered us a drink. I didn't feel good taking his supplies as he's in the middle of nowhere, it takes him forever to get to the city where he can stock up again. By the way, he was busy on the computer in his crib, he has an Apple Laptop, I was like good going. Apparently, he's looking for a woman, nothing serious, just someone to bone (with that BWC haha).

One of our targets. An old pillow 

Charlie used to tease me about our age difference but apparently he was once with a woman who is much older than me! Apparently the woman is friends with Cave, they were staying at the woman's temporarily, She once offered Charles a massage, that ended up with then boinking. I was like good for u, man! Get it! The woman was Cave's FWB (friend with benefits),which means Charles and Cavemen have slept with the same woman. Who knows what else happened in that house? The woman, didn't like it though, apparently, she told Charles that he's much smaller the Cavemen. That's probably where the obsession with Cavemen's size began. Well, Charlie Charles, if you want to run with the big dogs, you gotta learn to pee in the tall grass! (no pun intended ;))

On our way to the desert. Hollywood in Vegas? Yes, please, and thank you!

We finally headed back home. It was windy and the bike was swerving all over the place, SLOW DOWN! OMG, YOU GONNA KILL US! IF YOU DON'T SLOW DOWN, I SWEAR IMA......SSSLLLOOOOOWWWW DDDOOOOWWWWNNNN! We finally made it home in once peace. We were so pooped, the sun did a number on us! When we got back to Charlie's, we did laundry and some tidying up. I cooked. We had taken sandwiches with us but we never got around to eating them but nobody wanted to eat warm sandwiches once we got home.

Somewhere down there is Charlie's old sleeping bag from when he used to live in the mountains

As Charles was cleaning, he found letters he had sent to his friends and roommates when he was in jail. The letters were long and depressing, I didn't care for them but he seemed to get a kick out of reading them. He read the whole thing, I was just like, dude should've killed me in the desert. Use my head as a target and shoot me dead. Anything was better than listening to him read, especially reading prison letters. He had an annoying reading voice. When he reads, you can tell he enjoys the sound of his own voice. It's like watching someone masturbate. It's hell! Why am I watching you make love to yourself? Unless you're into that. This reminds me of a massage client  I once had in South Africa during the world cup. A British journalist, after the massage, he wanted me to jerk him off, aka happy ending. I refused, he then begged me to watch him as he played with himself, I was like, that'll be a hell no! Where my money, bitch? (bitch better have my money!)

I'm burning up!

When all was done, house cleaned, we were fed, we lay on the bed and watched some good ole telly! Charlie pulled out his cellphone and looked up Cavemen. Caveman has a Facebook account? Yup! He has pictures of himself on there that I'm surprised have not been removed. Dick everywhere! I guess he is showing the woman he's looking for what he's working with. Of course, Charlie forced me to look at the pictures. Charlie isn't persistent, he is forceful! He will get on top of you,sit on your hands and hold your eyes open and make you look at something if that's the last thing he does. No manners whatsoever! I have never met anyone like him. I often wondered if that was real life or a long ass nightmare, watching Charlie in action flip from being the best boyfriend you've ever had to ... an animal! An alien! He has tendencies that regular folk don't!

One day, Charlie had pissed me off, I wanted to leave. This was his way of making sure I stayed.

The view of Las Vegas from where we were.

Filipino Woman Wanted

My landlord didn't even question my notice. I thought, well, that was easy! 

Two weeks into my one month notice, I was getting a weird feeling about the whole moving in thing. It was just not getting talked about at all. Like, I had a feeling someone was having cold feet and it wasn't me. I decided to bring it up. I told Charlie that I was going to start packing. He asked me where I was going. I told him for my moving out at the end of the month. He was like, 'oh, you found a new place?' EEERRRR WTF? I was like, are you being for real right now? This was your idea! I've put in my notice! My landlord is looking for my replacement as we speak if she hasn't already found them! He acted like I was speaking a foreign language to him. It was quite something, I tell you! I thought to myself, this dude is bat shit crazy! Who does this to someone?

As soon as he was out of sight, I called my landlord and cancelled. Fortunately, she hadn't found someone else yet. I  thought, to get back at hiss flaky ass, I was gonna pretend like I hadn't cancelled. Make him squirm. Jerk!  I knew that that was not his idea, it was his friends telling him what to do again. The bottom line was, he listened to his friends and I was the one who was getting inconvenienced. It was somewhat a relief to learn that I wasn't about to be fully committed by living with this man! He must have been relieved too because I found out that he was still talking to other women online. He was finding Filipino women on Facebook and chatting them up to death. I could be there and this man is busy sending dick pictures to other women, What the fcking fck?!?!!?!? He had no shame! In fact, he got a kick out of that! He would show me their reactions and I would be like, wait, but what did you say to them for them to reply this way? Sometimes I wondered if he didn't have a couple screws loose upstairs.

If that was his way of making me jealous, he was going about it the wrong way! He, for some reason, was not the guy I would ever feel possessive of or who would ever break my heart and I told him that. I have been in love and have had my heart broken. It's the worst feeling in the world, having your heart broken not falling in love, obviously. Duh! lol. Even though, he and I were talking marriage and all that good stuff, I don't think I was that way in deep with him that my world would stop spinning if he left me or if I had to leave him for whatever reason. I told him because I wanted him to know. Sharing is caring, right? He wasn't thinking twice about telling me mean things his friends were saying about me. I didn't need to hide behind my friends to tell him something unsettling, I was man enough to look him in the blue eye and tell him what I was thinking.

He was telling women online that he had a girlfriend, in fact, the girlfriend was right there with him but she was older than him. I was like if you're not happy with me, break up with me, boo, the fck are you doing? He told me that he loved me and had no intentions of breaking up with me. He was committed and if we were going to get married, there was going to be no way out. I was like but then what is this that you're doing? He told me he wasn't cheating, he was just chatting. The women were all the way in the Philippines, they were never going to meet and I knew that. Uhm,. I didn't know that! How was I to know that? I'm from Africa and I'm here! It's not impossible for people to come to the United States. People do it all the time!

I once saw a conversation between him and another Filipina on Facebook where he was asking the girl to check flight prices. He wanted to pay for the girl to relocate to America to start a life with him. Wow! He must have thought his dick was much bigger than it was to have me stick around with all that nonsense going on around me.

We used to watch at least two movies per weekend or when he's off. We used to both be on RedBox. They would send us discount coupons. Charlie loves him a deal, so he would use all the coupons. They used to have rent one and get one free. Which is a good deal. We did watch a lot of movies that way. They had free internet at his place, I was like, why don't we just movies online? We could watch the more recent ones too, instead of being limited to whatever is on DVD on Redbox. He told me that he enjoyed watching movies on his big TV Screen as opposed to a tiny PC Screen. There's a way to connect TV to Laptop, but he wasn't interested. It was his money,. I was like whatever. I am not a big movie person, correction, I am big but not a movie person :), so I didn't care much. He did make sure he rented something I liked and something he liked. Sometimes he would just rent my picks only. He had his sweet moments, that Charlie!

He would make us smores and we would munch on them while watching movies. Fun times! For those who don't know what smores are, it's a sandwich made out of Graham cracker/Wholewheat cookie (biscuits) and melted chocolate and marshmallow. You melt the choc and marshmallow by putting the sandwich in the microwave for like 10 seconds. Try it, you'll love it. Especially now in winter, you know who you are!

One afternoon, Charlie was off, he asked if I wanted to go shooting. He is obsessed with his gun.I was excited to get a chance to school, whole other blog! We got on the bike, headed for the gun store to buy ammunition then headed for the desert. It was kinda windy outside. I always said a silent prayer when we were on the bike, that the route be straight because he gets excited, drives fast and then almost loses control. Train wreck! Or should I say Bike wreck? We stumbled upon a place called Hollywood. I asked him to stop and take pictures. We did. We were almost there by then. We arrived at the desert but then, Charlie wanted us to go to the mountainous part. The road is rocky, we're on a bike, I'm heavy, I didn't know if the bike could stomach that. I told him to let me walk, I would catch up with him later. He was showing off, driving really fast, turns, the works. It was just he and I there, so I guess he was showing off to me. The only thing on my mind was, I hope the bus stop isn't that far for when this bike breaks down. I had my bus ticket in the wallet and some cash. Never be caught unprepared! I know I won't!

He stopped at the foot of the mountain. Hiking time! We had fun yelling random things out loud and hearing our echoes.  Turns out, someone lived there! Like, one person lived in the desert all by himself. I was like, how do you know this again? He told me the guy was his friend, in fact, he himself (Charlie) had lived there before for like a year or something. I'm like you have a colorful past, man! Whoa! He told me that it was the best times he had ever had, living rent free! I get that but I never thought living in the mountains was an option when I thought of ways to save money. Would you do it?

No Bueno

As time went by, Charlie and I got closer and closer. We became a part of each other's lives. It got comfortable. 

Remember he had told me that he was shopping for a ring for me online? Apparently, he wasn't kidding. He was looking at jewelry stores, Amazon, eBay and on Craig's list. I was like, I'm not sure about CL boo! I don't want a used ring. He told me we could get a good deal over there, something that has hardly been worn. I told him that I would rather have something he can afford that is brand new than a great deal that was someone else's special moment. It took him a moment but he finally agreed. He was also shopping for a ring for himself. I was willing to buy him a ring, first he had to get me one though! When he learnt that I was willing to buy him a ring, or rather, that I was under the impression I was to buy him a ring, he got so excited and showed me one that he really liked. It was on the God-forsaken site - Craig's list. The thing was older than Charlie was! I tried to make him see things how I did but he wasn't budging. He wanted that ring and that was it! It almost became a situation whereby I had to hurry and buy him that ring because someone else grabbed it. I told him that that was not what the deal was. It was kinda like, I was going to propose to him, almost. I was like whoa! 

Rings are expensive, people! I know you know this, but, dang! 

I wanted a white gold princess cut diamond set, like with a plain wedding band. I was glad he asked me what I liked because the stuff he was looking at was no bueno! He told me to find out what my size was. Piece of cake! I went to the strip and tried on a few rings. It was fun to shop for a ring, I must say! He asked me what my budget was for the ring that I wanted him to buy for me. I thought that was sweet. He was like, 'I will get you whichever ring you want, just know that if I can't afford it right now, it will take us longer to get it because I will have to save for it, which will delay the whole process.' Not being one to wait, I went for an ok price, nothing too much. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the perfect ring that nobody can afford. I could've pitched in, I had enough money saved up to buy the ideal ring myself but that's not how I have always dreamt of being proposed to. Plus, fortunately, Charlie was a very proud man who wanted to buy the ring himself. That was the kind of guy I wanted to marry. I am very traditional when it comes to relationships. If you knew me and how independent and 'strong' I am, you wouldn't guess. I remember, some guy I dated forever ago once told me that if he hadn't met me online, he never would've had the guts to ask me out in person. He told me I can be intimidating but once someone gets to know me, I am such a girl! (great! His (My ex's)song just came on! James Blunt - Tears and Rain. Check it out if you've never heard it, it's a nice song)

Charlie, while we were still looking for a ring for me, told his friends about his plans to get married. He told his friends everything. His friends knew when I had my periods, they know if I'm a pads or tampons girl. Can you say Too much information? That was the one thing I couldn't stomach with Charlie. I told him all the time that his friends really didn't need nor did they want to know all the stuff he told them about me. 

One afternoon, I sent him a picture I had taken of the outside of my place through the window. I a not sure why. After about an hour of chatting, he told me he was so upset, he couldn't sleep. I asked what the matter was. He told me that his friend had told him that I would never be faithful to him. I was like, what! Why not? He told me that was because there was a man's car outside my place that wasn't there when Charlie was there earlier. I was like, you are wasting your time. It will be a long night for you at work because that car had been there for weeks, on and off. It was my landlord's daughter's car, who was staying there temporarily. If he didn't share everything with his friends, his ass would've been asleep already. 

Nothing makes me lose my erection faster than a dude that needs his friends' approval on everything. It's such a turn off, you can't even begin to imagine! This was the same friend that he had been sexting with. I was like, how do you expect your boyfriend to approve of your relationship with your girlfriend? This is weird, boo! I mean, you're going to trust a dude who was not allowed to see his kids by his ex wife (I know! Ex wife but he's gay, go figure!) because they found pictures of young men't penises in his phone? Give me a break! Apparently dude's wife left him because she found him in bed with her brother. I hope the story is made up.... actually, scratch that, I don't care if it is or not. Why should I? I had my own stuff to deal with, my soon to be fiance/husband was sexting other men! It's a lot to deal with!

On the plus side, after a while of looking, we found out that rings were more expensive than we had anticipated so Charlie increased the budget. Just as he did, his friend from work had financial difficulties at work, so he lent him all his money so he had to start from scratch saving for the ring. Awesome! What do you do? What do you tell him? None of his friends liked me from what I could tell from hearing Charlie's stories. Why would they? They need to use him and I was making hard just by my being in his life. They had no idea that I wasn't a threat in their lives because he was clearly still sexting them and giving them all his money even though I was a part of his life. 

It was also weird that Charlie and I were talking marriage but  I had never met his best friends who lived in the same city as us. 

Charlie suggested I moved in with him. I told him it would be best if we did so after we got married. Right? It's Vegas, cost of living is so low, there's no pressure to try and save money by moving in like some couples do in expensive cities. No judgement here, just saying! He started buying me groceries whenever he went grocery shopping. At first, he would ask me what I needed. I would text him, he would bring them over. AT some point, he would just take me along, we would shop together, then he would drop me off at the bus stop as it would've been quite the challenge to ride the motorcycle with two households' groceries. 

I spent most days at Charlie's, his off days were Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I would be there from the weekend until his first day back at work, which meant, the only day I spent at my place was Friday. Time flew though, I didn't even realise I spent all that time there until we discussed moving in. My place was much more central than his, even though he only lived two miles from me. I could just take one bus to go to work from my place whereas I had to take two from his. It wasn't a big deal though, I only had to be at work twice a week. He used to drop me off or pick me up or both anyways. The best was when I thought he was busy, walked outside towards the bus and found him waiting for me by the bike, helmet and all. It was really romantic! He never forgot to bring the second helmet, I tell you, I would so forget that like all the time!

I finally gave in, and thought, let's not be control freaks, let me just put in my notice and see what happens. 

Baby's got Blue Eyes

Summer in the desert was quite something! I wouldn't necessarily recommend it unless you're a sucker for punishment. Luckily, I'm a homebody, so it didn't bother me much to be stuck at home and away from the sun. This, coming from someone who loves the sun. I mean, my favorite city in South Africa is Durban. That should tell you something. Very tropical. The thing about Vegas is that it is in the midst of the desert, that's brutal! It was hot day and night, nonstop!

Charlie and I continued seeing each other after the sexting situation. In case you haven't notices, I have sucker for punishment tendencies. He always had some kind of a coupon. He got most of them from the casino where he worked. He would insist we went to the restaurants where he had coupons just so he could save 20%. To him, that was scoring. To me, that was spending the 80% one didn't need to spend. Different strokes. It was his money after all. 

Charlie loved to ride fast. I guess you don't get a bike as your only means of transportation if you don't love the thrill of all the near-death experiences that come with riding it fast, huh? I would always be like, 'Charlie! Oh my Godddddd! You're going to kill us!" He would pretend like he can't hear me. I know he did, he has very good hearing. "Sloweeeeeeerrrrr" My words would get blown away by the wind. 

We had good times, I enjoyed the outings, in the almost four years I had lived overseas, including Eastern Europe, I hadn't been in that kind of a relationship where a guy showed me with his actions that he enjoyed my company. It was very flattering. Sometimes, we would be chatting via text, he would ask me in passing where I was and what my plans were and before I knew it, he would just show up. I would hear the bike parking outside my place. He really knew how to put a smile on my face. I felt like a girl and he was a boy; the boy, my boyfriend. The fact that he had blue eyes was an added bonus. Call it a double cherry on top! I used to call him blue eyes! "Hey, Blue Eyes, how's work?'' We would chat all day and right through the night as he was working. I really enjoyed having that constant person in my life. Granted, I sometimes wanted to punch him in the neck but I liked how he made me feel for the most part.

Charlie paid attention to the things I said I liked and he would surprise me by doing them or getting them for me whatever the case may be. I mean, I never received more flowers from one man in my life! He offered to pay my phone bill. I thought that was sweet but I declined the offer. He asked if I needed help paying rent, he had to ask, he hardly saw me going to work. That's the fun part about my life, I play more than I work and yet I can pay my bills, in fact, I go a step ahead and pay them early. Why not? Isn't that the joy of life...living? Again, I told him I was ok, I could afford my bills. It got to a point where he got obsessed with how much money I had. One afternoon, he grabbed my receipt when I was at the ATM, he wanted to see. He felt he had to know. I thought that was rude and unnecessary, those are the moments I felt like kicking him in the gut. Rancho, the guy I dated in LA was the same way, he was so obsessed with how much money I had in the bank. Tortoise asked me once if I have an inheritance. I don't know why people are surprised when someone pays their own bills and doesn't ask them for financial help. I get the feeling they expect me to ask them and I just don't. Also, maybe because I'm from Africa, they think that I can't afford American currency stuff, well, I live here now, surely I'm not walking around with a bag full of South African Rand trying to make ends meet in America!

Charlie would buy all my favorite snacks when I was going to spend time at his place. This was after the roommate finally moved out. Charlie always made sure he had the stuff I liked, I felt like I really was a big part of his life. He knew what my favorite TV shows were and didn't like one of them but he would compromise and let us alternate or let me watch one episode of one his faves and then we would have my favorite stuff playing in the background the rest of the time. Sweet! 

My first couple of times at his place, when he was sleeping, during the day as he used to work nights, I tidied up the kitchen. It was tidy but he had all his groceries on top of the stove. He got free meals at his job, all night long. He hardly ever ate at his place. You could tell not a lot of cooking was taking place in that house. I cleared the stove top. He had a stocked up fridge. Big fridge! I was inspired to cook. And you know me, I ain't no cook and I'm spoilt because all my guys here have cooked for me. Even though Charlie didn't do much cooking, he treated me much better than any of the Top Chefs I dated. It was only fitting that I would want to cook for him. He loved that whole life of having a girlfriend, making plans as a couple, going out together, buying me gifts, coming home to a clean house and a cooked meal. He really appreciated all that. It's so inspiring to do something for someone who appreciates things like that. We were the perfect match in that regard, we both wanted to be in a relationship, not just that, we wanted to get married! We wanted to have that life! 

Overtime, we became best friends, he was literally my only friend in Vegas. I did meet people and make friends, I do all the time but nothing stuck. He seemed to get me, he was a great listener something that is rare in my life. People just want to talk about themselves, at least people I had been surrounding myself with. It was nice to have someone who could just listen and actually hear what I was saying. I knew he thought about me even when I wasn't with him from the surprise visits and from his stories about how he saw something and though of me, we should go check a certain spot out etc.

He didn't care how expensive something was, if he thought I wanted it or it would make me happy, he would do it. I didn't have to ask him. Instead, I would be the one telling him, it's ok, you don't have to. In a sense, I was glad I was the one in his life because I didn't take advantage him financially, I had plenty of opportunities to but just him being a part of my life was more valuable to me than what he could buy me. I can afford to myself whatever I want. Thank goodness.

He saw how close I am with my family, he told me about his family. He didn't know his father, they literally never met. His mom is, apparently a drug addict and an alcoholic. He has one sister, she's younger than him. I would have long Skype chats with my sisters while at his place in the living room while he slept. He would tell me that he needs to work on his relationship with his family too. My nephew had a baby, the cutest thing you can ever lay eyes on! I had one of her pictures as a screensaver on my cell for a while. Charlie, copied that idea and had his sister's little one's picture as a screensaver on his phone. I was glad to be positive influence to him. I was also proud of how far he had come. He told me he used to do drugs from age  9 until his 20's. He told me he would do them with his mom, that's how it all started. By the time we met, he had his own place, job, means of transportation and savings. It was something to be proud of, how far he had come.

Apparently he met the 62 year old man who roomed with him in a homeless shelter. Charlie lived in shelters on and off for 6 years, finally, he cleaned up his act and made a 180 degree change. Good for him. He is a very goodhearted person who will literally take the shirt off his back for a stranger. He gave this one guy a pair of his work shoes. The guy had been struggling, he was homeless for a while and was cleaning up his act, he got a job, called Charlie and Charlie called him over to his place. He gave him the shoes he was actively wearing to work. I asked him why he didn't at least give him shoes he wasn't wearing. He told him he wanted to give him nice shoes so that he can look good at his new job. It was a testament to how good a person he is.

He took time to meet people, and he remembered their names. He introduced himself to my landlord one day and would always greet her by name whenever he saw her. A new guy moved into one of the apartments where I lived, Charlie saw him, introduced himself to that guy. I remember, we were hanging out at my place, after he left, I noticed after about ten minutes that I never heard the bike, so I called him, he told me he was still around. He was chatting to my new neighbor. He didn't judge people by how they look or financial status or any such thing. He got along with people in all age groups, I mean, look at that 62 year old man he was sexting with!  

He would say hi to my sister on Skype if he's awake. 

I remember telling him how my family always surprises each other when we go home for holidays. I told him we do it almost all the time without fail. How I surprised my siblings when I returned from Eastern Europe,  first, my mom and my oldest sister who was at my mom's at the time, then called my brother on the phone and pretended I was still in Georgia, surprised him too and then went ahead and surprised my sister and her daughter when they got home (my mom's) by hiding behind the closet and just walking into the kitchen while everyone was catching up; all in one trip. I gave him different examples, he loved the idea and told me he was going to go to Colorado and surprise his family. I was flattered he loved the idea but it was going to be an 11 hour trip on the motorbike. I din't think it was a good idea. I mean, on that last surprise, I had taken the bus, the train, a taxi, a plane and a car. He ended up no doing it, not because I said so but because he didn't have time. I had recommended he just took the bus. Much safer. He had never ridden the bike that long.

Those are some of the things that attracted me to him and made me stick around even when times were challenging. The good outweighed the bad.

Sexting

Charlie and I spend the rest of rainy night in Georgia at mine, chilling. We didn't like the same tv shows, so when we were at my place, we would spend the time not listening to  music or watching tv. He likes that annoying song Am I wrong? and all other annoying songs. I like weird songs that nobody has every heard, right now, I am listening to Non Ti Scordar Di Me by Luciano Pavarotti. Go figure! We spent most of our time at home at his place because he had the entertainment and the bigger everything, i.e. TV, bigger bed etc. His apartment people buy their furniture from the hotels on The Strip when the hotels are getting new ones and you know hotels don't keep their beds that long. Charlie's bed was from The Trump towers. Very comfy! 

After a while of dating, we were at my place. I was annoyed at Charlie about something. He told me not to get pissed, he is very serious about me, he had actually been looking at rings. I was like way what now? Rings? I tell ya, it came out of nowhere. He showed me his web search, he had been looking at rings. I found that interesting if not confusing, I didn't think we were there in our relationship at all. Granted, we both wanted to get married. No necessarily to each other, but we had that in common, we knew that from the word go. I didn't know what to think of him telling me he had been looking at rings. For someone who has received a number of rings from men before and marriage proposals and stuff, some with rings, some not, actions were going to have to speak louder than his words so to speak.

Charlie would come by my place sometimes after he picks up his check. The office was two blocks away from my place. I was just off the Strip so, pretty central. When he was at my place, he always would go through my phone. I hated that. As a person, I had never been exposed to that kind of behavior, someone who would have no qualms about going through your personal stuff even after you busted their asses. This guy would even grab my phone from my hand and browse through, quick before I grab it back. It was quite something! It was something I never wanted to get used to. One afternoon, he came by. I took a quickly took a shower. I left the door unlocked so he could let himself in. He got in, said 'hi' and went dead quiet. I knew he was up to no good. Like what could you be so busy with at my place that you would go completely quiet? He came to visit me, he should either be in the bathroom chatting with me or something. He was too quiet for comfort. I left the water running and snuck in on him. Or is it sneaked? He was so focused on my phone, he almost had a heart attack when he saw me. I had to fight for my phone. I had nothing to lose but I didn't want this person going through my personal stuff like that. Like WTF? Who does that?

When I was done with my shower, and wiping all the wetness from my bedroom, I took his f*king phone. He grabbed it right back. I didn't have the energy to fight over it plus, he always told me what he was chatting to people about. He felt the need to, things like the fat pig situation. This particular afternoon, he was chatting with his roommate, the 62 year old man who had been in the process of moving out for the longest time. After I heard that he had moved out and went over to Charlie's, I saw his clothes in the closet. Charlie then told me he hadn't moved out, he was just out of town but he had to lie to me, he didn't think I would want to go over there if that man still lived there. Lies! Can't stand them! Anyway, I digress. Charlie showed me the names his 62 year old friend was calling me via text. I, of course, told Charlie his friend wouldn't just call me that to him out of the blue. I had never even met the guy! Obviously whatever he knows about me, he heard from Charlie, therefore I blamed Charlie for whatever his friends' opinion of me was. Frankly, I didn't give a sh*t. I took Charlie's phone to see for myself what Charlie's contribution to the conversation was, I kept scrolling up, and was like, see, I knew you started it! Do you know that as I was scrolling up to previous conversations, I stumbled upon a dick pick? This is a text conversation between Charlie and his Guy friend and roommate and I am finding a dick pic! The f*ck is going on here. 

IT WAS CHARLIE'S DICK! When he saw I saw that, he went pale in the face! Either he forgot about it or he didn't think I was going to scroll that far back. My heart sank way past my stomach, it literally sunk to my bladder! I couldn't believe what the hell I was seeing. Can you imagine? What would you do? Seriously, please post a comment or message me on social media and let me know what you would do if you were in my shoes.

I felt like I was going to throw up, I had never experienced that kind of shock before. I asked him what the fck that was. He told me that the guy paid him for dick pics. That's all there was to it. I was like, you've gotta be shitting me right now with this lame excuse for having exchanged private part pictures with your so called gay friend. And you say I might be too old for you! This man is 62 years old! And he's a man! What is going on here, Charles? He told me I was reading too much into it. The guy paid him $10 per picture. I'm like, you have a full time job! The fck are you doing selling dick picks for $10 a piece? This dude is your roommate, you're gonna sell him your nude pics and then hang around the house with him and discuss your girlfriend, what is this? 

He took his phone back and was texting relentlessly as we were talking. He was texting the guy, telling him what was going on as it was going on. He couldn't wait until the argument and the shaming is over, or until he got back home to his sugar daddy to tell him what transpired that day. He was always that way, he always let everybody know what was happening as it was happening. It was a darn shame if you ask me. The rest of the day is all a blur to me. I know he ended up going home to his boo boo.

Just revisited this post now in 2022 and I guess Chuck was doing Only Fans before that was a thing! 🙌🏽

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