Hey, loves! If you’ve been following my journey on Social Media, you know I’ve been on the road, all across america, lately. More on that later!
With that said, hello from Purcell, Oklahoma!
Trying to update on the iPhone because I’m so behind and there’s so much to talk to you about.
We left off at mom’s in South Africa. From there, I headed to Durban by bus. Long ride! About 16 hours! I’d a nice seat towards the back. Luckily, I didn't have to share it with anyone. The driver came over to ‘say hi’. As I extended my hand, he did something disgusting that I hadn’t experienced since South Africa. He fingered the palm of my hand! That’s something creepy perverts do. Not that there are none creepy pervs!
I was like eeewww! What are you doing? He smiled at me. He told me he was going to come back and chat with me. I immediately felt so violated. These are the things I don’t miss about South Africa. That sense of hopelessness. Especially around men. It’s not all the time that you feel it. But it can be a thing. Remember how
on my bus ride from Cape Town, that bus driver made me feel gunny? And here we are again?
It was at night that I boarded the bus, so I quickly went to sleep.
Somewhere, in the middle of the night, I guess the driver was on break and I must have been awake for whatever reason. He told me to scoot over. Yuck! I think he had a sense of superiority because not only was he a man but he was the person in charge of the bus. He was definitely abusing that power position. I moved over and had my hands folded. He tried to ask about me. I told him I’m married. He still tried to be cute. Like, n words! Give me a mutha fcking break! It’s the middle of the night. By n word, I don’t necessary mean he was black. It’s just a pissed off expression.
Sunrise in KwaZulu Natal was gorgeous! The mountainous views, the whole nine yards! I was in South African heaven! As I was in that moment, a text came through. It was my ex. He asked me how Durban was. I was shocked. Who told him I was on my way there? He then sent a more pissed off text about Lord knows what, oh gosh! Here we go again. I can’t even get a vacation from this n word!
He sent an influx of messages about his lawyers that are monitoring me and all the monies that I have stashed all over the world and how they are going to get hold of all my accounts and blah blah blah. It wasn’t cute!
I took a few photos along the way. I’ll post them when I have my laptop.
I eventually arrived in Durban. The thing about my place there, is that, it’s right off the way , so It’s tempting to ask the driver to drop you off there. Even though, there’s no stop. Whenever I took minibuses there from Johannesburg etc, I had them drop me off at the traffic light around the corner.
I wasn’t about to ask this weird guy for a favor. Heck naw!
It was morning when we got to Market in Durban. This is some kind of a swamp meet area with strictly street vendors. I was the last one to get off, the guy watched me get off and asked where exactly I was headed. I told him where I was going to catch my minibus aka taxi. He was kind enough to tell me to get back on, he was going to drop me off. I truly appreciated that. In fact, he acted like such a decent human once the sun came out! Our parents were right, nothing good happens after midnight!
He dropped me right by the taxi rank or bus stop. I dragged my super heavy bag. It was that way because I had thrown my laptop bag and handbag in there for safety. I wasn’t going to draw attention to myself and have someone try to cut the straps of my bags and take off with them!
I got off at the aforementioned light and rolled the thing to my place that I hadn’t been to in almost forever. It looked not like I wished it would from the outside. There were a few things that hadn’t been touched up in a while. What with all the levies (HOA) we have been paying over the years. My heart wasn’t smiling. The first thought was, yeah, I definitely should sell this property!
I took the elevator to my unit and it looked sad! I was shocked at that considering I had paid someone to fix it up. I had to chin up because I wasn’t there to mope. More like to mop haha!
I did just that! Because it was still morning, I had ample time to clean it up enough that I could live in it while I did the necessary renovations. Luckily, the cleaning lady lent me some of her cleaning tools and gave me some supplies. First, she asked if she could clean it for me. I told her i got it! And I snuck in that cleaning houses is what I do in America. So why not clean my own and pay myself? She looked at me up and down. If looks could speak!
I didn’t care. You know me, I don’t get embarrassed.
I opened all the windows and doors and aired the place all the way out.even the paint job wasn’t satisfactory. I had already arranged for handyman to come over and help me out. THis is the guy who I already paid to do the substandard job that had been done to the house but i had a good feeling about everything now that I was there in person. While waiting, I did a walk through of the place, wrote a list of things I thought and went to the hardware store. I was surprised and impressed at how much i knew about house renovations.
I had borrowed my Mom’s sleeping bag and pillow, so, honey! We’re going camping! I found a nice corner on the bedroom floor where I was going to camp. No Refrigerator, stove or microwave. This isn’t unusual for back home. I was going to have to eat out the entire time I was there. All that growing up in a house in the woods with no electricity was going to come in handy. Luckily, I dod have electricity in this case. I cleaned my bah tub good and took baths daily! It was awesome!
Handyman came the following day. By then, I had done more walking around town and found a couple more hardware stores that charged a fraction of the one I’d shopped at, so, returns!
I bought food at Shoprite. Fish, meat, and other delicious goodies. Cheap! Cheap!
I was meeting the guy for the first tome. We clicked like a house on fire. I remember how he had told me over the phone he didn’t speak a word of English. It was so funny how he would catch himself in the middle of a full on English conversation. Busted!
We talked about all kinds of things. I really enjoyed our conversations. We both worked 50/50. I must’ve been a handyman in my past life!
He asked me to pay him at the end of the day, which I did. He didn’t make it for work the following day. That became a trend. He would spend the following day, spending his pay from the previous day. Those would be the days I’d catch up on the work myself. Not a care in the world!
The sun rises were beautiful from my balcony! I didn’t have window treatments, so The sun would shine all the way into the condo. I was taking it all in. Most of all, I was enjoying and appreciating the peace of mind I had. No yelling, nobody telling me to get the fck out of their house. Nobody belittling me etc.
I remember as more and more work was done, how beautiful my place was becoming again. How i own this entire place and i love it but i was pretty much homeless in America. Living with someone who constantly threatened to kick me out, even though i was paying rent. What kind of irony is this? If only, I could Ship that condo to the States!
I bumped into an old friend. He took my number, promised to call and never did. It was nice seeing him in great shape. If anything.
I didn’t get to see any of my old girlfriends from the time I lived in KZN (KwaZulu natal). I’d texted them beforehand that I was going to be in town. One replied, OK. The other, replied, Awesome!
I remember while i was still there, cos I was in Durban for more than two weeks. The work ended up being more than anticipated. The guy who was helping me out, asked me where my friends are that I’m in town all the way from another country, for the first time in years and nobody is showing up! He mentioned that, I shouldn’t be eating take outs in Africa, my friends should be bringing me home cooked meals, it’s the African hospitality. I was like, LOL.
One of the friends, texted me, weeks into my stay, telling me that she hoped I’d be back in the country soon because she didn’t have bus fare to visit me that time around. I replied; LOL.
Was I wrong? That sht hilarious as fck! Take another thousand dollar flight and a few buses because she didn’t have a dollar to come see me? Hahaha! OK gurl!
One friend asked me to get on a plane and visit them in another province. I told her Where ai was and that I had plenty of room there for anyone who wants to see me! I’d done enough traveling. I wasn’t going to spread myself thinner than that.
I ate from all the supermarkets, Pick n bay, they sometimes had green flies in their deli department, so I didn’t shop there a lot, SPAR, mainly. One evening, I got cornered by security at a neighborhood Spar. They accused me of stealing gum! Gum, you guys! Do you know how I stock my gum? I buy the entire box, with several packs inside. I took a few packs with me for the time I was going to be home. Gum, would not have been the thing I would’ve stolen if I were to stoop that low! I returned everything I had just paid for, once they shat on my face like that, asked for the manager, asked her if that’s how they treat their customers, and left. For good. I never shopped there again. Their food was too salty anyway lol. And I was about to take home a bunch of junk food I had no business buying and eating. That really was the universe’s way of saving me from myself.
One of the things I learned during my trip to South Africa, was that that ubuntu, or hospitality that I pride myself as a South African in, was nowhere to be found.
Cry, the beloved country!