Saturday, February 22, 2014

"I HATE MEXICANS!"


For someone who fell in love with me at first sight, Speed sure seemed to have fallen out fast! He didn’t want to talk about it. I asked him to explain to me why he didn’t agree with my idea of letting me first see the utility bills before paying for them. He told me ‘because I say so’. Just like that!  I was about to take a shower and head to the bank. I was going to give him the amount that he wanted for peace sakes but he didn’t even want to hear me out. He just wanted me out. Like the plague! I couldn’t believe it! He was getting really worked up, I had to walk away. After the shower, he saw me walk out, called me back and asked if I was just going to act like I didn’t walk away from him while he was talking. I told him he wanted me out, I was going to move out, it’s his place after all. I told him that I was willing to pay him the money as he wanted it, I just wanted to talk about it. I thought as grown ups, we could talk about stuff like that, especially considering rent is the only thing that brought us together. If he wants to talk about relationship and doesn’t want to talk about rent, we have a big problem. He explained that the previous roommate(/girlfriends) he had had the same argument and ended up not paying for utilities at the end of the rent. I was like, first of all, I am not them, secondly that’s what happens when you sleep with your roommates, things get complicated, thirdly, I am not going to sleep with you. He was like, how horrible a person must  I be that you can’t even consider dating me? I told him that it had  nothing to do with his character, it was a principle thing for me that I don’t sleep with my roommates. Plus he’s not even cute, so please! He’s not the kind of person you want to break your own rules for. AT ALL! He apologised for losing his cool, asked me to stay, gave me a hug and aimed for a kiss. Uhm, WTF!?!?!?!?!? This is not a romantic moment! We’re not a couple! Get it already!

That afternoon, he had work. He called me from work, asked how I was and whether I wanted to go out that night to a nice restaurant and maybe a movie. I guess he was taking me on a date. My treat seeing as I was to pay him rent that evening. I told him I had plans that night. I didn’t but whatever! He seemed let down that I turned him down. I was like, dude, I have my own life and plans, we don’t have to do things together just because we are roommates. On the contrary, actually, I didn’t want to do anything other than room with him, even that I was over already. It got weird fast.

I worked Sunday to Thursday nights and had Friday and Saturday nights off. I thought that was a nice schedule. I got paid Friday morning. That was cool too. It’s not like I was going to go out every weekend on shopping sprees or anything, it was just nice to have money every week, that’s all. I did some background (i.e. extra) work in the day time, for which I got paid cash, daily. That was nice too! I would put my money away, you have to be careful with money especially when you are so far away from people who know and love you. More so with my track record. Just in general.

I got paid the first week, had the weekend off. I went back to work on Sunday. Client asked if  I would mind changing schedule, instead of having the weekend, he wanted me to take Wednesday and Thursday off. I told him I’d think about it. Speed and I were more civil towards each other every day. He harassed me less and less the more he saw that it wasn’t going to happen. The sex thing, I mean. I tried to keep it simple, I didn’t want him turning around and blaming me for leading him on. Every now and again, we would talk, I would tell him what’s going on at work, he’d tell me about his ‘women’ for example, Paris hilton’s sister has a crush on him. Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood Madam who was also on Celebrity rehab had a crush on him, women from Beverly hills, loooooveee Speed. But he doesn’t want any of them, He wants me. Yeah sure #EyeRoll
When I told him about the change in my schedule, he wasn’t happy at all. He told me that if I had my off days during the week, it would be a problem for US because then we really would not see each other. As It was, I was working every night and going to TV shows in the day time but at least I had the weekends off from both work and TV shows. If I was going to work weekend, he would never see me. I thought that could be a thing! For us not to see each other. Also, it didn’t seem as if I had a choice with the schedule, someone was quitting or something and Client had to reshuffle the schedule. I agreed. I lost a day’s work in the reshuffle. That’s what it was, nobody was going to do anything about it.

As a night aide, I would nap on the bed in the living room when Client went to sleep. The bedding reeked! You know the smell of sweaty hair + Hair product + body odour+++ I couldn’t deal. I would throw a jacket over the pillow to protect my face for that mess. I further asked if I could wash the bedding, Client reluctantly agreed. He told me the bedding had never been washed since he bought it, Lord knows when! YYYUUUCCCKKKKK!!!! I washed it as soon as he agreed. The washer and dryer were downstairs in the same apartment block.
I got really tired as time went by, not getting enough sleep in the day time, doing background work and working nights was getting to me. Whenever I would be out, I would get tons of messages from Speed complaining that it had been whatever number of days that we hadn’t hung out, what’s the point of living together if we are not going to spend time together? I know that was a rhetorical question because if he really wanted an answer, it would’ve been, ‘to save on rent!’ Blah blah blah blah blah, complaints complaints! You would swear he was my wife or something, Gosh!

At any given day, there would be three aides working, morning, afternoon and night (me). Client was bedridden. There would be dishes in the sink, trash in the kitchen and bathroom, the cans would be overflowing, I would take it out with me on my way home but that got tired fast. I mean, I would have to take out the trash my first night back from my off days. Not cool. I didn’t want to be that person who complains to the boss, so I decided to just handle my night shift, whatever I found there, I would leave there. There was no hand soap in the bathroom, you know with that kind of work, you have to have antibacterial soaps all over the show as well as hand sanitizers because you don’t want to spread anything, either from you to client and vice versa. At first, I thought they had run out but after a week, it didn’t look like they were going to replace it, so I asked him to add those to his list. He told me he wasn’t going to go to the store anytime soon, and asked me to buy them on my off days with my money, he would refund me. I am not big on those kinds of deals, give me money, I will buy what you want and bring you back your change. But I made an exception because I was doing that for myself more than anybody else. I got them from the Giant Dollar Store for close to nothing. I got the sanitizer, soap and hand lotion. I gave him the receipt. He paid me back just less than what he owed me. He either didn’t look at the receipt and just paid me what he felt they should cost or whatever, I don’t know what’s on people’s minds! I didn’t ask for the rest of it because as it was, I had to keep reminding him to pay me back, so I was like, this is not gonna happen again. He doesn’t pay me for my time anyway, my time when I am not at work is mine, not Speed’s, mine! Not long after that, he wanted me to buy him pills from the pharmarcy, he gave me money, I bought them for him. He didn’t want them, he thought they were too expensive and told me he can get them for a buck from the dollar store, of course, I wasn’t going to be the one getting those for him. I wasn’t going to be the person who bought those kinds of pills all over the place and be seen walking around with them in my purse, sorry. Plus, If you tell someone to buy you something from a certain place and they do, don’t tell them, they would have gotten them cheaper elsewhere, YOU are the one who told them to go to THAT place to begin with!

The job of a Nursing Aide is not that fun, you get to do for someone everything they can’t do for themselves. Some of those things are meant for them to do in private, some of those things smell, but you get to do all those things, no fun at all but it’s gotta be done! Apparently, I was better at doing most of those things for my client than all his other six or so aides, so he made sure to wait it out until I came in and made me do everything under the son to him. Imagine the most grosses things anyone may ever have to do. Hint: It could be considered sexual by some! ‘

He got borderline obsessed with me doing those things to him. One day, I was standing close to him working on his groin area, he looked me in the eye and said, in a creepy kind of voice, I feel weird when we get this close! EEEWWWWWWWW! I was like, say what? He repeated, I’m thinking that was a rhetorical What? You pervert! When he said that, and the way he said it, I knew I didn’t want to do that job anymore, especially for him. I had to think of an exit plan. I wasn’t going to be harassed at home and at work. Client also asked if I could work Christmas day and the night before. He wanted me to spend those days there working around the clock. He was expecting people, his other aides all have families, they wanted the time off to spend with their families. He thought he’d ask me because I don’t have family here. #PoorMe. I told him I’d think about it.

I told Speed about the latest at work, the creepiness etc, he got livid! He told me I had to quit that job, that is not what I signed up for. He was willing to drive me around to hospitals and facilities to look for a decent job. I wasn’t about to accept a favour from Speed. I had asked him one day to drop me off, he did, then sent me a text telling me that if I just want to be platonic roommates, I am no longer to ask him for favors. I had offered to pay that night, he told me he wanted me to take me out to a movie and dinner instead. First of all that’s more expensive than gas, secondly, that’s waaayyy more expensive cos that’s time with me, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to take this random middle aged man on a date just because he took me to work, come on now! A for Effort though! He would go on to do things or say things (Speed, I mean) and then turn around and send me texts to the contrary. Like this one time, I made friends with a half American, half Nigerian girl I met outside the Judge Judy show. She lived close to Speed’s. I was so excited, we wanted to meet up again and try going to another TV show together. I went home to change, Speed was home. I told him about the girl. I had told her to wait for me outside because I didn’t think Speed was going to appreciate me showing up with someone. It shouldn’t have been a problem because I lived there too and had paid but I just didn’t want drama. Speed was ready to whine at the drop of a hat, I didn’t want to give him something to whine about.I ended up going home very late that night, around 11. I was off the following day, so I did my best to keep myself occupied and out of the house and as far away as possible from Speed. My phone  was off during the show, when I turned it on, I had a ton of messages from him, complaining about my not spending any time with him. I didn’t respond. I thought he just wanted to get all that off his system, so there, he got his chance!
 When I got home, he was sitting on the couch  waiting for me. When I walked in, he sat up and looked like he was ready for war. The couch was my bed, so I guess I wasn’t ready to go to bed according to his thinking. How do you go to sleep with an angry man sitting on your bed almost at midnight? I sat down, he was like, ‘Look, Brook!’ That was his line. Once he said that, I knew he was about to whine. ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ I told him, it had been a long day. I was tired, I really wasn’t in the mood for another argument. Can you imagine being married to that man? My gosh! I asked him why he thought I should give him a chance, what he had done up until then to impress me and get me to want to go out with him but try to make out with me out of the clear blue sky or just complain, complain, complain! He told me not to worry about it, I obviously didn’t appreciate all that he had done to impress me. I didn’t care, I just wanted to get the heck out of that apartment and never ever see his face again #puke

The following morning, I got a text from my Colombian friend (South America) who lived in Ontario, California. She and a friend of hers were going to be in Hollywood. He wanted to meet up. I was excited, I hadn’t seen her in more than six months. They were going to do some things on Hollywood Boulevard which is down the road from Speed’s. I told Speed that my friend was going to kbe in the neighbourhood. I asked what her plans were for that day, I wanted my friend to come by and see where I lived. He asked if it was the friend I had told him about the day before. It wasn’t. He told me that he could tell that I was in love with the new girl I had met the previous day. The half Nigerian girl. He didn’t think it was fair for me to bring girls to his apartment and sleep with them on his furniture while he can’t bring anybody because he’s in love with him, and yet I keep telling him I am not ready for a relationship. Meaning, if I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with him, I couldn’t be with anyone else. Plus, who on earth told him I was going to sleep with my girl friends? What kind of sick, twisted mentality is that? Can’t people just be friends? Just because he sleeps with his roommates, doesn’t mean I sleep with my friends, WTF?!?!?!?!? He told me that we had agreed because it’s a small space, we were not going to have any body over. We never did! We never had that conversation! I told him that, and he called me a liar again. Telling me that I conveniently forget things to suit myself, he was convinced we had had that conversation.

He had had a car accident with some celebrity lawyer the week before, he was on his way to meet up with the lawyer, he kept telling me that he was about to have a lot of money. I think he was trying to lure me in with his $1 500 N word, Please! Really! I may be from Africa, but you gotta do better than that! You’re a 56 year old Male who is sharing a studio apartment. You’re not rich! Far from it! Quit playing! Not that I would date him if he were rich, he just creeped me out. Everything he did wasn’t attractive to me. EVERYTHING! And he was very pushy, I just didn’t like him like that. In fact, I wonder if I liked him at all. I also don’t think he liked me like that either, he was just taking advantage, that’s all. He didn’t do anything to show that he liked me, it was all about him, taking what he wanted, and forcing me to be his, for his own good. He was trying to make sure I didn’t even have friends so that I would be stuck with him text book psychopath. I wanted no part of it!

He got all dressed up for his meeting with the lawyer, I was on my way to the store, he offered me a ride, I told him I’d pass, thanks, I didn’t want to pay for it later. He complained about that. That I’m saying he bitches and moans when we’re together. I was like, all I’m saying is I’ll walk to the store, thanks, that’s all! He insisted, I was like, screw it! I got on, when we got on, he lit up a cigarette. He’s a chain smoker. He had promised not to smoke in the apartment. In fact, he told me he doesn’t smoke inside. I caught him a few times, chilling, smoking and deep in thought. Or I would come in just after he smoked and smell the smoke everywhere. Anyway, I asked to be let out the car, I didn’t want to be in there to begin with, now, I have to inhale his second hand smoke. He apologised and complained about how he has to go through all these changes for me, he can’t smoke in his own apartment (N word, you don’t own the apartment, you’re renting the place just like I am, quit saying it’s your apartment!), or his car, he can’t do this, can’t do that. I don’t have to make any changes in my life! I was like, you think I’m happy? He told me, I get it! You’re not happy because I didn’t want you to bring your friends over so you can have sex with them on my couch. I was like, never mind, get me out of this B*tch! He stopped on the side of the road and was like let’s talk about this. Why won’t you be with me, Brook? BECAUSE I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!  I gotta go now! He told me I could bring my friend over, Just the Colombian one, he didn’t want the Nigerian one there, he was sure I was in love with her and was definitely going to sleep with her if I had her over. I was like you think I want to sleep with this girl, which on its own is a whole another blog, why am I being accused of being a lesbian? Oh, I get it! Because I won’t sleep with him, I must be a lesbian cos nobody can resist THAT, right? Anyway, I thanked him and walked away.

He called about five minutes later and told me that he is a good person and that always backfires on him. He was tired of being taken advantage of by people he loves, I was NOT to bring anybody over to his apartment. That was HIS apartment and we had agreed that no guest because we were going to focus on US, blah blah blah yada yada ya! I said, ok, bye and hung up. He called again, I said Speed, you’ve made your point, you changed your mind, which you have the right to do. I will call my friend and tell her that they are no longer allowed at my place, my roommate, who owns the apartment, changed his  mind, simple! He was like, don’t start with that reverse psychology, I know all about that, I was married for 10 years, I know the tricks! I DON’T WANT TO WALK INTO MY APARTMENT AND FIND YOU HANGING OUT WITH THESE PEOPLE WHO I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH. I HATE THESE PEOPLE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE MEXICANS BLAH BLAH BLAH. I said you know what, They are my friends, you don’t have to have anything in common with them. I had to hang up. He was trying to get me as worked up as he was. It wasn’t worth it. He’s not worth it. He’s such a drama queen, you have no idea. This is a middle aged man who had been married three times, who have kids that, not surprisingly, are not a part of his life. Instead of obsessing over being with Brook, you’d think he would save that energy and work on being part of his kids’ lives. He never talks about his kids, ever! I don’t care, I’m just saying!

My friend and I ended up not meeting up because their schedule was tight. I had never asked them to come over to my place, I thought I’d talk to Speed about it first, good thing I did because It didn’t work out.

Speed told me that he didn’t like that I was working for that man and touching his genitals when I won’t touch his. He wanted me to quit. He was willing to support me until I got another job. He would do anything to get me the heck out of that place. I thanked him and told him I would quit when I was ready to. I didn’t want to do it because he was over it, I had to do it when I was over it which I was, but I didn’t want him telling me what to do. Plus how was he going to support me when he couldn’t afford to pay rent in his studio apartment that he was so proud to claim when it suit him? Him and I had a crazy relationship as roommates, the last thing I needed was to depend on him. Could you imagine?