Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

After being so done with Speedy, I headed to my new place. He had asked me why I was moving out so early, I had a few more days before January 1st. I was like, bye!

I settled in at my new place, walked around naked just cos I could. It's way out of my budget, so I was going to have to find a roommate. That was the bummer. I did enjoy the last few days of 2013 in my apartment by myself, eating take outs (take aways) though. I slept in the dark, without anyone watching the telly while I was asleep or smoking weed in my presence, it was the perfect ending to a crazy year. That was my eighth move in 2013. I was tired yall! Exhausted.

Julie came over a few times to 'see' me. This is what happens when she comes over for a 'visit'. She calls to find out if  I am home, then tells me she was thinking of dropping by because she hadn't seen me in a while, then she comes over, sits on the floor (she likes that. I'm ok with it if she is), then she asks to check her emails on my computer because they don't have internet at hers. I pay for mine, it's not something the US government unfairly gives to some people and doesn't give to others, so all they have to do, she and her man is to pay for it too. Especially seeing as she lives with her man and a roommate. Everyone in there has a job, clearly they can afford a few dollars for the internet. If I can afford it, they surely can. Anyway, I will give her the laptop and let her do her thing. After checking her emails, she will ask to check her messages on Facebook because some people don't have her number, so they message her over there. Fair enough, I let her. Usually, when she comes over, I would normally be in the middle of doing something on the computer, so I have to stop doing what I am doing, because she 'missed' me. She would then hang out on facebook, trying to multitask, she would ask me about my day, etc, and go on to chat with her friends while I answer, leaving me talking to myself, cos nobody can multitask that much. You can't have two conversations with separate people at the same time. I don't care how good a multitasker you are. 

If I as much as walk out or go to the loo (restroom), I will come back to find her quickly checking the history of websites I have visited on the net. One day, I found her looking at my pictures, which are located elsewhere on the computer, not on the net, which is what she had asked to use. Or I will come back to find her trying to quickly upload pictures on facebook, then she will quickly pull out the memory stick, when I walk in. It's kinda weird. I don't know why you would want to know what I do on my computer, and why would you want to look at my pictures in my absence, the joy in looking at someone's pictures is having them there giving you the back story of the picture. Unless you are looking to find that which the other person doesn't want you to see. Well, that's a whole another story. And I think that's what she was trying to do.

If I tell her about a guy I met online, she would ask to see a picture, when I browse through the pictures on my phone to show her the guy, she is so focused on the pictures, she would be like, what's that? Who's that? Like, if she sees a little bit of skin, maybe a guy sent me a shirtless picture. I would show her quickly, and then go back to what I was doing and eventually show her the person I was talking about. She would take the phone, browse through, and not even look at the person I was showing her. The person whose picture SHE had asked to see. B!tch don't browse through my sh!t! That's not cool. You don't do that.

I bit my tongue the first few times until I couldn't take it any more. My internet is very slow when it comes to watching videos, so I would spend the day buffering a few episodes of whatever show I would be watching at the time and then, enjoy them later when I am done doing whatever I was doing. She came over one night, I had about four episodes I had buffered that day. I asked her not to close the browser. When she was done, she logged off, she always made sure to log off, she would even come back from having left to make double sure she logged off. That from someone who snoops through my sht when I'm gone. Get your own internet and you won't have to worry about logging off! Anyway, that night, when she was done, she logged off facebook and yahoo and closed the browser. I lost everything! I was so mad! I was like, did you just close the browser! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! that's what she does when you have a conversation with her, she's not listening to what you're saying. She just goes yeah! A lot of people do that here, that's why I keep conversations light. Nobody cares, they just wanna talk about themselves. When you talk, they are thinking of what to say next about themselves. The moment you shut up, even mid sentence, the blurt out something about themselves. They will tell you the same story over and over than listen to what you have to say. I had to repeat myself and asked her again if she closed the browser after I had asked her nicely not to. She was like oh, oh! Sorry gurl! I am so sorry! I explained why it was a big deal to me. She may think I was being petty but then I think they are petty for not getting their own internet, what I do on mine is my business, don't invite yourself to my place and judge me! GTFOH!

After that day, she came one more time, spent three hours on the internet while I watched her enjoy herself not knowing what to do with my hands. She was on TMZ and other celebrity blogs that she found from browsing my history. I had to ask her if what she was doing was urgent because I gave her the computer to check her messages, I myself haven't had a chance to look at the blogs because I was looking for jobs, but now I am having to sit and watch her live the life while I have things to do on the computer. If you are here as my friend because you missed me (which is impossible because you don't even know me like that. You never ask me anything about myself or listen when I talk, so not only do you not know me, you are not interested in getting to know me), why do you spend all your time here on the internet? Clearly, that's what you came here for!

After the second confrontation, she never came back to my place. I was so relieved, good riddance! I got to enjoy the comfort of my new place. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB! 

She would call, ask what I am up to, then tell me she is on her way to the internet cafe. I guess she was trying to make me feel guilty. Do you think I felt guilty? No prizes for guessing! She had previously told me that she didn't want to use the free internet at the library, she didn't like the vibe over there and didn't want to pay at internet cafes just to use the internet. She and her boyfriend had wifi before. They stole it from someone in the neighborhood, when that person found out, they changed login details, so they were no longer able to steal it. I thought it was ballsy of her to tell me she didn't want to do those things to get internet but then come use mine which I pay for. Maybe I'm full of sht but I don't get some people's thinking processes. Or maybe I'm slow. 

I had a new friend who I met at Chelsea Lately. We'll call her Jessie. She is South American, nice girl, who could either be 20 or 40, the jury is still out on her age. Don't ask, don't tell. She is obsessed with wanting me to lose weight. She tells me I have a beautiful face but I have to lose weight. She's like if I were to lose weight my life would change dramatically, I would get more acting gigs, find a hot boyfriend etc etc. Er duh! You think I don't know that? That's what makes it that much harder to lose weight. The pressure of it all. She told me she had great diet pills at her house, she wanted me to use them. They guarantee a loo of 1lb (500grams) per week. I didn't believe that but what did I have to lose but weight, right? 

She kept forgetting to take them with her when we met up, so I offered to go get them at her place, she agreed. I walked over there, big mistake! It wasn't as close as I had anticipated. It was like an hour's walk or something. In the heat, good thing I had my umbrella with me. I was still in high spirits over my new place so nothing could bring me down. It was the end of one of the craziest years for me, so I was excited and looking forward to 2014. I arrived at her place, which she shares with her husband. I love her husband, he is hilarious. I met him at the taping of the Queen Latifah show where we all won laptops? Remember the friends who gave me a ride home? This is them. We hung out at her cute place, she made lunch, Peruvian! We drank Peruvian soda, it was nice! I had a nice time with her. She told me some of the craziest stories I have ever heard, and I've heard some crazy stories! We laughed, we cried, fun times all around. I must have been there for 5 hours or so, when her husband got home. That was my cue to go home. He didn't stay, he had forgotten his bicycle on the bus, so he went back to get that at the depot. I stuck around a little longer, then eventually left. By the time I left, the trains (subway) was free for a few hours. Free rides for all, new Year's special to prevent New Year's eve Traffic jams. I took the subway to Julie's. She had called and wanted to spend New Year's eve together. I wasn't up for it, I thought, I'd go with them a happy day and go home. I was ready for bed, chile, I'm old! 

When I arrived, she came to get me at the main entrance of her block, she lives right on Hollywood Boulevard, nice apartment block, with two swimming pools. She is the one whose at whose house we spent Christmas Day. She was all dressed up, she had done her hair and all. I was like, whoa, where are you off to? The musician that she had over at hers on Christmas had a party at his friend's, she was ready to go there with her boyfriend. She asked me to go with them. I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like being in another party with people I don't know ho were highly likely going to be drunk and stoned and it's NYE, people are going to make out at midnight. I've already gone through all that at Christmas, I was ready to have a nice and relaxed NYE. I politely declined. Her boyfriend wasn't about to leave the house either. So she ended up not going after all. I felt sorry for her. Boyfriend's friends, who are a couple, dropped by just before midnight. Speed was texting me, telling me I was right. How do  I know these things, why is it that I am always right? He was sucking up, needing attention. He didn't want to be alone at midnight, he wanted to be in the midst of a conversation with me. I wasn't going to be in the midst of a conversation with him at midnight, so I stopped texting. He was telling me that he did have that girl, the ex move in after I moved out. They did have sex. Whoop defreaking doo! Then she left him and went back to her boyfriend that she had had a fight with. Does it look like I care? Obviously not! I told him, I was no longer his roommate, I didn't have to listen to any of that anymore. It is what it is, happy new year boo! 

After midnight, I headed home. Julie walked me to the station. We stood there and talked a bit, people watched. There were people everywhere! It looked like it could be daytime. Some people were crying over the stars of their favorite celebrities on the walk of fame. Michael Jackson's fans put lit candles on his star, it was cute and sad. I got home, talked to my family and went to bed early hours of 2014. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014!