Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Baby's got Blue Eyes

Summer in the desert was quite something! I wouldn't necessarily recommend it unless you're a sucker for punishment. Luckily, I'm a homebody, so it didn't bother me much to be stuck at home and away from the sun. This, coming from someone who loves the sun. I mean, my favorite city in South Africa is Durban. That should tell you something. Very tropical. The thing about Vegas is that it is in the midst of the desert, that's brutal! It was hot day and night, nonstop!

Charlie and I continued seeing each other after the sexting situation. In case you haven't notices, I have sucker for punishment tendencies. He always had some kind of a coupon. He got most of them from the casino where he worked. He would insist we went to the restaurants where he had coupons just so he could save 20%. To him, that was scoring. To me, that was spending the 80% one didn't need to spend. Different strokes. It was his money after all. 

Charlie loved to ride fast. I guess you don't get a bike as your only means of transportation if you don't love the thrill of all the near-death experiences that come with riding it fast, huh? I would always be like, 'Charlie! Oh my Godddddd! You're going to kill us!" He would pretend like he can't hear me. I know he did, he has very good hearing. "Sloweeeeeeerrrrr" My words would get blown away by the wind. 

We had good times, I enjoyed the outings, in the almost four years I had lived overseas, including Eastern Europe, I hadn't been in that kind of a relationship where a guy showed me with his actions that he enjoyed my company. It was very flattering. Sometimes, we would be chatting via text, he would ask me in passing where I was and what my plans were and before I knew it, he would just show up. I would hear the bike parking outside my place. He really knew how to put a smile on my face. I felt like a girl and he was a boy; the boy, my boyfriend. The fact that he had blue eyes was an added bonus. Call it a double cherry on top! I used to call him blue eyes! "Hey, Blue Eyes, how's work?'' We would chat all day and right through the night as he was working. I really enjoyed having that constant person in my life. Granted, I sometimes wanted to punch him in the neck but I liked how he made me feel for the most part.

Charlie paid attention to the things I said I liked and he would surprise me by doing them or getting them for me whatever the case may be. I mean, I never received more flowers from one man in my life! He offered to pay my phone bill. I thought that was sweet but I declined the offer. He asked if I needed help paying rent, he had to ask, he hardly saw me going to work. That's the fun part about my life, I play more than I work and yet I can pay my bills, in fact, I go a step ahead and pay them early. Why not? Isn't that the joy of life...living? Again, I told him I was ok, I could afford my bills. It got to a point where he got obsessed with how much money I had. One afternoon, he grabbed my receipt when I was at the ATM, he wanted to see. He felt he had to know. I thought that was rude and unnecessary, those are the moments I felt like kicking him in the gut. Rancho, the guy I dated in LA was the same way, he was so obsessed with how much money I had in the bank. Tortoise asked me once if I have an inheritance. I don't know why people are surprised when someone pays their own bills and doesn't ask them for financial help. I get the feeling they expect me to ask them and I just don't. Also, maybe because I'm from Africa, they think that I can't afford American currency stuff, well, I live here now, surely I'm not walking around with a bag full of South African Rand trying to make ends meet in America!

Charlie would buy all my favorite snacks when I was going to spend time at his place. This was after the roommate finally moved out. Charlie always made sure he had the stuff I liked, I felt like I really was a big part of his life. He knew what my favorite TV shows were and didn't like one of them but he would compromise and let us alternate or let me watch one episode of one his faves and then we would have my favorite stuff playing in the background the rest of the time. Sweet! 

My first couple of times at his place, when he was sleeping, during the day as he used to work nights, I tidied up the kitchen. It was tidy but he had all his groceries on top of the stove. He got free meals at his job, all night long. He hardly ever ate at his place. You could tell not a lot of cooking was taking place in that house. I cleared the stove top. He had a stocked up fridge. Big fridge! I was inspired to cook. And you know me, I ain't no cook and I'm spoilt because all my guys here have cooked for me. Even though Charlie didn't do much cooking, he treated me much better than any of the Top Chefs I dated. It was only fitting that I would want to cook for him. He loved that whole life of having a girlfriend, making plans as a couple, going out together, buying me gifts, coming home to a clean house and a cooked meal. He really appreciated all that. It's so inspiring to do something for someone who appreciates things like that. We were the perfect match in that regard, we both wanted to be in a relationship, not just that, we wanted to get married! We wanted to have that life! 

Overtime, we became best friends, he was literally my only friend in Vegas. I did meet people and make friends, I do all the time but nothing stuck. He seemed to get me, he was a great listener something that is rare in my life. People just want to talk about themselves, at least people I had been surrounding myself with. It was nice to have someone who could just listen and actually hear what I was saying. I knew he thought about me even when I wasn't with him from the surprise visits and from his stories about how he saw something and though of me, we should go check a certain spot out etc.

He didn't care how expensive something was, if he thought I wanted it or it would make me happy, he would do it. I didn't have to ask him. Instead, I would be the one telling him, it's ok, you don't have to. In a sense, I was glad I was the one in his life because I didn't take advantage him financially, I had plenty of opportunities to but just him being a part of my life was more valuable to me than what he could buy me. I can afford to myself whatever I want. Thank goodness.

He saw how close I am with my family, he told me about his family. He didn't know his father, they literally never met. His mom is, apparently a drug addict and an alcoholic. He has one sister, she's younger than him. I would have long Skype chats with my sisters while at his place in the living room while he slept. He would tell me that he needs to work on his relationship with his family too. My nephew had a baby, the cutest thing you can ever lay eyes on! I had one of her pictures as a screensaver on my cell for a while. Charlie, copied that idea and had his sister's little one's picture as a screensaver on his phone. I was glad to be positive influence to him. I was also proud of how far he had come. He told me he used to do drugs from age  9 until his 20's. He told me he would do them with his mom, that's how it all started. By the time we met, he had his own place, job, means of transportation and savings. It was something to be proud of, how far he had come.

Apparently he met the 62 year old man who roomed with him in a homeless shelter. Charlie lived in shelters on and off for 6 years, finally, he cleaned up his act and made a 180 degree change. Good for him. He is a very goodhearted person who will literally take the shirt off his back for a stranger. He gave this one guy a pair of his work shoes. The guy had been struggling, he was homeless for a while and was cleaning up his act, he got a job, called Charlie and Charlie called him over to his place. He gave him the shoes he was actively wearing to work. I asked him why he didn't at least give him shoes he wasn't wearing. He told him he wanted to give him nice shoes so that he can look good at his new job. It was a testament to how good a person he is.

He took time to meet people, and he remembered their names. He introduced himself to my landlord one day and would always greet her by name whenever he saw her. A new guy moved into one of the apartments where I lived, Charlie saw him, introduced himself to that guy. I remember, we were hanging out at my place, after he left, I noticed after about ten minutes that I never heard the bike, so I called him, he told me he was still around. He was chatting to my new neighbor. He didn't judge people by how they look or financial status or any such thing. He got along with people in all age groups, I mean, look at that 62 year old man he was sexting with!  

He would say hi to my sister on Skype if he's awake. 

I remember telling him how my family always surprises each other when we go home for holidays. I told him we do it almost all the time without fail. How I surprised my siblings when I returned from Eastern Europe,  first, my mom and my oldest sister who was at my mom's at the time, then called my brother on the phone and pretended I was still in Georgia, surprised him too and then went ahead and surprised my sister and her daughter when they got home (my mom's) by hiding behind the closet and just walking into the kitchen while everyone was catching up; all in one trip. I gave him different examples, he loved the idea and told me he was going to go to Colorado and surprise his family. I was flattered he loved the idea but it was going to be an 11 hour trip on the motorbike. I din't think it was a good idea. I mean, on that last surprise, I had taken the bus, the train, a taxi, a plane and a car. He ended up no doing it, not because I said so but because he didn't have time. I had recommended he just took the bus. Much safer. He had never ridden the bike that long.

Those are some of the things that attracted me to him and made me stick around even when times were challenging. The good outweighed the bad.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Sexting

Charlie and I spend the rest of rainy night in Georgia at mine, chilling. We didn't like the same tv shows, so when we were at my place, we would spend the time not listening to  music or watching tv. He likes that annoying song Am I wrong? and all other annoying songs. I like weird songs that nobody has every heard, right now, I am listening to Non Ti Scordar Di Me by Luciano Pavarotti. Go figure! We spent most of our time at home at his place because he had the entertainment and the bigger everything, i.e. TV, bigger bed etc. His apartment people buy their furniture from the hotels on The Strip when the hotels are getting new ones and you know hotels don't keep their beds that long. Charlie's bed was from The Trump towers. Very comfy! 

After a while of dating, we were at my place. I was annoyed at Charlie about something. He told me not to get pissed, he is very serious about me, he had actually been looking at rings. I was like way what now? Rings? I tell ya, it came out of nowhere. He showed me his web search, he had been looking at rings. I found that interesting if not confusing, I didn't think we were there in our relationship at all. Granted, we both wanted to get married. No necessarily to each other, but we had that in common, we knew that from the word go. I didn't know what to think of him telling me he had been looking at rings. For someone who has received a number of rings from men before and marriage proposals and stuff, some with rings, some not, actions were going to have to speak louder than his words so to speak.

Charlie would come by my place sometimes after he picks up his check. The office was two blocks away from my place. I was just off the Strip so, pretty central. When he was at my place, he always would go through my phone. I hated that. As a person, I had never been exposed to that kind of behavior, someone who would have no qualms about going through your personal stuff even after you busted their asses. This guy would even grab my phone from my hand and browse through, quick before I grab it back. It was quite something! It was something I never wanted to get used to. One afternoon, he came by. I took a quickly took a shower. I left the door unlocked so he could let himself in. He got in, said 'hi' and went dead quiet. I knew he was up to no good. Like what could you be so busy with at my place that you would go completely quiet? He came to visit me, he should either be in the bathroom chatting with me or something. He was too quiet for comfort. I left the water running and snuck in on him. Or is it sneaked? He was so focused on my phone, he almost had a heart attack when he saw me. I had to fight for my phone. I had nothing to lose but I didn't want this person going through my personal stuff like that. Like WTF? Who does that?

When I was done with my shower, and wiping all the wetness from my bedroom, I took his f*king phone. He grabbed it right back. I didn't have the energy to fight over it plus, he always told me what he was chatting to people about. He felt the need to, things like the fat pig situation. This particular afternoon, he was chatting with his roommate, the 62 year old man who had been in the process of moving out for the longest time. After I heard that he had moved out and went over to Charlie's, I saw his clothes in the closet. Charlie then told me he hadn't moved out, he was just out of town but he had to lie to me, he didn't think I would want to go over there if that man still lived there. Lies! Can't stand them! Anyway, I digress. Charlie showed me the names his 62 year old friend was calling me via text. I, of course, told Charlie his friend wouldn't just call me that to him out of the blue. I had never even met the guy! Obviously whatever he knows about me, he heard from Charlie, therefore I blamed Charlie for whatever his friends' opinion of me was. Frankly, I didn't give a sh*t. I took Charlie's phone to see for myself what Charlie's contribution to the conversation was, I kept scrolling up, and was like, see, I knew you started it! Do you know that as I was scrolling up to previous conversations, I stumbled upon a dick pick? This is a text conversation between Charlie and his Guy friend and roommate and I am finding a dick pic! The f*ck is going on here. 

IT WAS CHARLIE'S DICK! When he saw I saw that, he went pale in the face! Either he forgot about it or he didn't think I was going to scroll that far back. My heart sank way past my stomach, it literally sunk to my bladder! I couldn't believe what the hell I was seeing. Can you imagine? What would you do? Seriously, please post a comment or message me on social media and let me know what you would do if you were in my shoes.

I felt like I was going to throw up, I had never experienced that kind of shock before. I asked him what the fck that was. He told me that the guy paid him for dick pics. That's all there was to it. I was like, you've gotta be shitting me right now with this lame excuse for having exchanged private part pictures with your so called gay friend. And you say I might be too old for you! This man is 62 years old! And he's a man! What is going on here, Charles? He told me I was reading too much into it. The guy paid him $10 per picture. I'm like, you have a full time job! The fck are you doing selling dick picks for $10 a piece? This dude is your roommate, you're gonna sell him your nude pics and then hang around the house with him and discuss your girlfriend, what is this? 

He took his phone back and was texting relentlessly as we were talking. He was texting the guy, telling him what was going on as it was going on. He couldn't wait until the argument and the shaming is over, or until he got back home to his sugar daddy to tell him what transpired that day. He was always that way, he always let everybody know what was happening as it was happening. It was a darn shame if you ask me. The rest of the day is all a blur to me. I know he ended up going home to his boo boo.