Friday, July 03, 2015

No Bueno

As time went by, Charlie and I got closer and closer. We became a part of each other's lives. It got comfortable. 

Remember he had told me that he was shopping for a ring for me online? Apparently, he wasn't kidding. He was looking at jewelry stores, Amazon, eBay and on Craig's list. I was like, I'm not sure about CL boo! I don't want a used ring. He told me we could get a good deal over there, something that has hardly been worn. I told him that I would rather have something he can afford that is brand new than a great deal that was someone else's special moment. It took him a moment but he finally agreed. He was also shopping for a ring for himself. I was willing to buy him a ring, first he had to get me one though! When he learnt that I was willing to buy him a ring, or rather, that I was under the impression I was to buy him a ring, he got so excited and showed me one that he really liked. It was on the God-forsaken site - Craig's list. The thing was older than Charlie was! I tried to make him see things how I did but he wasn't budging. He wanted that ring and that was it! It almost became a situation whereby I had to hurry and buy him that ring because someone else grabbed it. I told him that that was not what the deal was. It was kinda like, I was going to propose to him, almost. I was like whoa! 

Rings are expensive, people! I know you know this, but, dang! 

I wanted a white gold princess cut diamond set, like with a plain wedding band. I was glad he asked me what I liked because the stuff he was looking at was no bueno! He told me to find out what my size was. Piece of cake! I went to the strip and tried on a few rings. It was fun to shop for a ring, I must say! He asked me what my budget was for the ring that I wanted him to buy for me. I thought that was sweet. He was like, 'I will get you whichever ring you want, just know that if I can't afford it right now, it will take us longer to get it because I will have to save for it, which will delay the whole process.' Not being one to wait, I went for an ok price, nothing too much. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the perfect ring that nobody can afford. I could've pitched in, I had enough money saved up to buy the ideal ring myself but that's not how I have always dreamt of being proposed to. Plus, fortunately, Charlie was a very proud man who wanted to buy the ring himself. That was the kind of guy I wanted to marry. I am very traditional when it comes to relationships. If you knew me and how independent and 'strong' I am, you wouldn't guess. I remember, some guy I dated forever ago once told me that if he hadn't met me online, he never would've had the guts to ask me out in person. He told me I can be intimidating but once someone gets to know me, I am such a girl! (great! His (My ex's)song just came on! James Blunt - Tears and Rain. Check it out if you've never heard it, it's a nice song)

Charlie, while we were still looking for a ring for me, told his friends about his plans to get married. He told his friends everything. His friends knew when I had my periods, they know if I'm a pads or tampons girl. Can you say Too much information? That was the one thing I couldn't stomach with Charlie. I told him all the time that his friends really didn't need nor did they want to know all the stuff he told them about me. 

One afternoon, I sent him a picture I had taken of the outside of my place through the window. I a not sure why. After about an hour of chatting, he told me he was so upset, he couldn't sleep. I asked what the matter was. He told me that his friend had told him that I would never be faithful to him. I was like, what! Why not? He told me that was because there was a man's car outside my place that wasn't there when Charlie was there earlier. I was like, you are wasting your time. It will be a long night for you at work because that car had been there for weeks, on and off. It was my landlord's daughter's car, who was staying there temporarily. If he didn't share everything with his friends, his ass would've been asleep already. 

Nothing makes me lose my erection faster than a dude that needs his friends' approval on everything. It's such a turn off, you can't even begin to imagine! This was the same friend that he had been sexting with. I was like, how do you expect your boyfriend to approve of your relationship with your girlfriend? This is weird, boo! I mean, you're going to trust a dude who was not allowed to see his kids by his ex wife (I know! Ex wife but he's gay, go figure!) because they found pictures of young men't penises in his phone? Give me a break! Apparently dude's wife left him because she found him in bed with her brother. I hope the story is made up.... actually, scratch that, I don't care if it is or not. Why should I? I had my own stuff to deal with, my soon to be fiance/husband was sexting other men! It's a lot to deal with!

On the plus side, after a while of looking, we found out that rings were more expensive than we had anticipated so Charlie increased the budget. Just as he did, his friend from work had financial difficulties at work, so he lent him all his money so he had to start from scratch saving for the ring. Awesome! What do you do? What do you tell him? None of his friends liked me from what I could tell from hearing Charlie's stories. Why would they? They need to use him and I was making hard just by my being in his life. They had no idea that I wasn't a threat in their lives because he was clearly still sexting them and giving them all his money even though I was a part of his life. 

It was also weird that Charlie and I were talking marriage but  I had never met his best friends who lived in the same city as us. 

Charlie suggested I moved in with him. I told him it would be best if we did so after we got married. Right? It's Vegas, cost of living is so low, there's no pressure to try and save money by moving in like some couples do in expensive cities. No judgement here, just saying! He started buying me groceries whenever he went grocery shopping. At first, he would ask me what I needed. I would text him, he would bring them over. AT some point, he would just take me along, we would shop together, then he would drop me off at the bus stop as it would've been quite the challenge to ride the motorcycle with two households' groceries. 

I spent most days at Charlie's, his off days were Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I would be there from the weekend until his first day back at work, which meant, the only day I spent at my place was Friday. Time flew though, I didn't even realise I spent all that time there until we discussed moving in. My place was much more central than his, even though he only lived two miles from me. I could just take one bus to go to work from my place whereas I had to take two from his. It wasn't a big deal though, I only had to be at work twice a week. He used to drop me off or pick me up or both anyways. The best was when I thought he was busy, walked outside towards the bus and found him waiting for me by the bike, helmet and all. It was really romantic! He never forgot to bring the second helmet, I tell you, I would so forget that like all the time!

I finally gave in, and thought, let's not be control freaks, let me just put in my notice and see what happens.