Saturday, October 03, 2015

Thot

By the way, after I locked myself out the second time, I had to do damage control that very night before anyone got back home. Fortunately. I got back home before anyone else, so I went to a few stores to buy stuff to patch what the guy and I did to the door. I found material that was exactly the same color as the door paint color. I didn't even have to paint it afterwards. I just patched it and voila! I was so happy. The thing was only a dollar too!

While Carly was stuck outside, she decided to go to Subway, she bought herself a Sub for dinner over there, went back to the apt to eat. She also checked her mail, it was March, her birth month, her best friend mailed her a gift. I got a text from Carly with a picture, it was a picture of a wrapping of her birthday from her friend. Carly wrote: After so many years of friendship, my best friend still doesn't know how to spell my last name; sad! I replied, oh cool! She sent you something? What did you get? She told me she sent her a handbag, she was like, 'I don't know why everyone bought me a handbag this year. I don't even need handbags. My mom bought me a handbag in her style, it's too grown up for me, my best friend, who I expected more from her just sent me a handbag and my friend here, sent me a bandbag as well! This is the worst birthday!' I replied, you're lucky so many people bought your gifts for your birthday! I wasn't feeding into her sht at all. Someone buys you a gift and ships it all the way to you and you wanna complain about how they spelt your last name, are you shitting me? She knows her last name is difficult to spell! So ungrateful! Why not ship the gift back and tell them wrong person?

She sent another text, 'Is it weird that I like the birthday card more than the gift itself?' I replied 'lol'. Didn't I tell this btch I was busy? Why is she blowing up my phone? I thought she didn't like it when people do that to her. Hypocrite much?

She finally went back to school for the rest of her classes that night. That's when I got home. I had gotten into the habit of pretending to be asleep when she got home. I just didn't want to be bothered. She always had some crisis she needed me to solve for her.

In the weeks, I had taken a break from looking for an apartment, I felt like going away for a day trip or the weekend. I had always wanted to go to Malibu, Santa Barbara and Laguna Beach. I wanted to go on a day trip to one of those places. I told Carly that I felt like going away. She told me to totally do it. Next thing I knew, she was on a websites she saw me logged on, she was looking for tickets to go on a day trip. Uhm, Double You Tee Eff? She told me that she had this sudden urge to want to go on a day trip somewhere, she didn't know why. Just like she did me, I told her to totally do it! Either way, I was going to get a break from her, I didn't care if she copied my idea that one time!

She wanted to go hiking for her birthday. Her friend in San Francisco wanted her to visit for her birthday. I had mentioned once that her friendship with that girl was very one sided, it was basically like mine with Carly but I didn't add that part. That girl was doing to Carly what Carly does to me. She always calls with problems. Carly will be on the phone for hours solving that girl's problems. When Carly calls with a situation, that girl is always busy or they will end up talking about that girl. Carly asked the girl to come to LA for Carly's birthday, the girl was like, nah, I'm busy. Next thing, the girl was on vacation in Vegas. When Carly told me that, I was like, didn't she say she was busy with work in San Fran? Now she's in Vegas for an entire week? Anyway, I didn't want to immerse myself in other people's problems. They had been friends, Carly knows what that friendship serves in her life. When Carly asked the girl to come to LA for the birthday, the girl told her that she was over LA, how about Carly go to San Francisco? Carly was like but it's MY birthday, people should come to me not the other way round! I thought to myself, finally, your eyes are opening up, you mole you!

San Francisco was one of the places I wanted to visit. It was in my vision board. I didn't get to go in December, 2014, I definitely had to do it this year. I was in no hurry though. One morning, I got up early,showered and left for union station. I wanted to go to Santa Barbara. Someone had misinformed me regarding ticket prices. It was five times what I thought the fare was going to be. I wasn't willing to part with that much money out of the blue. I decided to go back to Malibu for the day instead. It's much closer. I looked up bus schedule on my phone. The bus left every hour from where I was. I waited on the bus and soon saw it pass on the opposite side. I was waiting on the wrong side. I just took it as that was not the day for me to go to those places. The weather was crazy but I needed to get the heck out of there.

I headed back to the apartment. Carly was up when I got back. Girl, I had left around 7am! I didn't even want to see her face that day! Alas, that wasn't meant to be! She asked where I went looking so dressed up? I told her I was headed out of town for a day trip.

She had planned to go n a hiking trip with her friends on her birthday. Because, that's a thing people want to drive all the way from San Francisco to do in LA, smdh. I was like, your friends must really love you if they are going to go hiking with your on your birthday!She looked at me like I was crazy, I looked at her like she was a model! Not long after that, she started making plans to go out of town. She got tickets, took a few days off and went to her hometown for her birthday. She literally dropped plans she made forever ago of going hiking with her friends for her birthday to go on a trip because I was so serious on going for one. She ended up going on a trip before me.

She left mountain of dishes in the sink. I had stopped cleaning up after her once I started paying. It was the best week without her, I didn't even go away anymore while she was gone! What for? I had the peace of mind I needed.

When she was leaving, she asked me to drop her off at the bus station. I told her I had work, I wasn't going to have time. What? I remember telling her one day that we could have an arrangement where instead of taking Uber, she takes Uber all the time, she doesn't like the bus, she could gas up my car and I could take her where she needed to go, whenever I was around. I wasn't going to make any profit from the whole deal. Quite honestly, I was avoiding being her unpaid chauffeur because some people have a tendency of thinking people's cars run on friendship. I didn't want to have yet another elephant in the room. She couldn't maintain eye contact with me when I came up with that idea. I could tell she wasn't buying it. She wanted free rides or she would rather pay more on Uber, so call Uber then! Right?

She asked me to help carry her luggage downstairs, I was so fed up with all the requests, I wanted to cry. How can one person be such a pain in the ass though? Damn it, man! I couldn't be happier when the Uber driver drove off with her. She was blowing me kisses, I was blowing her away! As far away as possible.

While texting back and forth, on her way, I was like, girl, you're 22 years old and single, you better have a fling while you're in Seattle! She was like, you're right, girl! Let's do it! I'll find someone in Seattle, you find someone in LA, we can exchange stories when I get back! I replied, 'Nah, I'm good, I'll wait till I fall in love'. She texted back that I was right, it's good to first fall in love. I thought to myself, whatever! I've had my fair share of flings.

Halfway in her trip, I got a text from Carly, she was sitting next to the hottest guy on the bus, omg, what should I do, Brook? WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO, CARLY! The fck do I care? You're gone, let me enjoy your absence, don't still be texting me for advice!

They stopped somewhere for refreshments, she told me she wanted to kiss the guy so bad, and asked if that was bad. I told her it was up to her. I was so over it. The guy was sitting on the isle seat opposite Carly, they were both sitting on isle seats. She told me that they had been drinking the guys' alcohol when they were on a layover. She asked me if it would be bad if she asked the guy to sit next to her. She wanted to make out with him. He looked like he wanted to make out with her too. Apparently, she knew him that well. I told her to go ahead if she wanted to be that girl on the bus who is so thirsty she's asking strangers to come closer. Thot anybody?

Apparently, she went ahead and asked the guy, the guy was like, no! They did exchange numbers when she got off. They had a date set for when she was on her way back to LA. She told me that the guy wasn't even her type, he was black and he smoked but there's something about him that she couldn't resist. I thought to myself, how soon she fell in love!

When she got home, she sent me a long ass text about how her life sucks, she went all the way to Seattle for nothing. I mean, the bus ride was 24 hours or something like that. It was long! She told me that her brother wouldn't even give her a hug. She was so excited to see him, she ran towards him with her arms open and he just walked right past her rotfl! They were in public! At the bus station. She told me she was so hurt. I thought to myself, if this girl really texting me this right now? She's with her parents for goodness sakes, fix it amongst family. I don't care! I replied, 'Wow! That sucks!' and went on with my life.

I am going to assume she could see that I wasn't interested in chatting anymore, because the texts slowed down tremendously after that.

On her way back, I got a text that she was looking forward to seeing her new boyfriend from the bus. He had lent her his jacket that smelled like cigarettes on their first trip, so, of course I called him Jacket, sometimes I'd call him Suede. It was a suede jacket ;)

They had been texting the entire time she was in Seattle, aaahhh, that's why she wasn't texting me any more! Thank goodness for small miracles! She told him how far she was. He was going to take a break from work and drive to the station to meet her. They had a long layover, so it was going to be enough time to go on a date. Or to make out, I don't know what they had in mind.

I got a long ass text about how she hated men, that guy led her on, why is it that it's always the ones you love that will let you down blah blah blah, she was done! Apparently, the guy told her that he was on his way. He told her where he was that moment. She looked up ETA (estimated time of arrival) on google maps and saw that he should be with her in ten minutes. 10...20...30...nothing! She called, he didn't pick up. She waited and waited and waited and then started texting me. I wasn't of much help because I didn't care.

The finally arrived back in LA the following day. She texted me that morning and asked what my plans were, I told her I wasn't sure. I knew she wanted to ask me to pick her up and I wasn't going to do it no matter what. Luckily, I was booked that afternoon. I left early, so that I wasn't there when she got home. I didn't feel like hauling suitcases up five flights of stairs like 12 years a slave. she got home to an empty house. Just what she deserved, She didn't get love from her brother in Seattle and she got nothing but a kitchen full of smelly dishes in her own home. What a life!

I saw her the following day, she told me all about what I had missed out on her life on. She asked what I thought she should do about the guy. I told her she could ask him what happened. I mean what did she stand to lose? There was clearly nothing going on between the two of them. She texted him, he apologised and told her that he got stuck in traffic. She told me that she felt awkward telling him that she had checked traffic in his route and it should've only taken him ten minutes to get to the station. She told me she felt used and violated. I was like, uhm, what?

Turns out they had had phone sex and all while she was in Seattle. Maybe he had promised her things on her way back, that's why she was so ocd, checking him on google etc. I was like, do you really want to be in a relationship with a guy you met on the bus, who you tried to have come sit next with you and refused and then went on to have phone sex with without even knowing him? Clearly  the guy didn't think that much of you! Well, after the apology, they picked up from where they left off. I don't care, good for her, at least she was getting something, no matter what that thing was.

The following guy, the guy told her he was going to be in LA, but ended up standing her up again. Long story short, he asked her to go meet up with him in San Diego; 3 hours or so away by public transport. She asked what I thought of that. I told her to go if she wanted to have sex with him. She was like, no he just wants to see me. I was like, girl, you're so cute!

Anyway, she ended up cutting all ties with him. Life went back to normal. I was back to looking for a place to stay.

I started thinking about that man, Spotty from forever ago, remember him? I told Carly how I was thinking him a lot for some reason. I woke up one morning to a voicemail on my phone. It was him! He told me that he had been thinking about me, he wanted to know what I was doing that weekend. Maybe we could go out some time. I mean, I had relocated to so many states since he and I hooked up. I called him back, we talked for about an hour. It was nice to talk but I wasn't trying to be friends or anything. That ship had sailed. He told me that he had been doing a lot of soul searching and had been making amends with people he had wronged in the past blah. I guess that's where I came in. Nice for him!

It was season for Last Comic standing. I went to a lot of those tapings. So much fun! I got to see Roseanne, the comedian? She looks amazing, she lost a ton of weight. I actually complimented her, she was like, awww, thank you sweetheart! You're so sweet! With that accent of hers. The oldest Wayan Brother is one of the hosts and producers, so hot. 0% body fat and so smart! Wanda Sykes is the executive producer, so she came out and we got to see her in person too. They also have one of the older SNL (Saturday Night Live) guys as hosts. That guy has a lot of fans. I didn't even know who he was until my first day there. His name is Norm Macdonald, you can look him up if you wish.

I got a couple of shirts from Last comic, one was my first night there. They asked who was with their significant other. I pointed at a guy who was sitting next to me. They asked who his spouse was, I pointed at a lady who was sitting on my other side. The audience warm up lady was like, so why are you sitting in between a couple. I told her, that's what I do, split up couples. She asked him to dance for a t shirt for his wife. The guy is as gay as can be. He got up danced so well, and got a t shirt. They asked him what his wife's name was. He told the lady he never met that woman,the woman is Brook's friend, so was the guy. Haha! He chose to give me the t shirt. When he got back, I introduced him to the lady, I was like, meet your wife!

It was a good day, the comediennes who competed were really good. A few weeks or so, I was sitting near the door and they were giving away t shirts. They asked for singers in between scenes or whatever. I told a girl who was sitting next to me that I was going to get one. So many people wanted t shirts, that it became a competition as to who was a better singer. This is Hollywood, people are a really good in arts here. And I'm just a girl from Africa trying to make it in America. I told that girl I was going to get a t-shirt. I had a secret weapon. My Africanness! People were belting out songs better than the likes of Alicia Keys and I wasn't intimidated at all. When it was my turn, I sang the Click song, aka Igqirha lendlela nguqongqothwane. Miriam Makeba's hit. I won the first shirt. It was my size. I put it on immediately and told the girl who was sitting next to me, I TOLD YA SO!

Doing last comic was fun because we always wrapped really late, no traffic at all, it took me 12 minutes flat to get downtown from Universal Studios. The down side was that I used to get home around the same time as Carly. Whenever I got home before her, I would go straight to bed and pretend to be asleep when she got home. She be like, Brook! Brook! BRook! Awww, sleeping? Mhh k!