Move out! NOW!

I moved to Speedy’s just before the end of the month to Speedy’s. He had told me I could do that and didn’t have to pay since his then roommate move out early. He told me that he just needed help with rent for the winter, otherwise he can afford the place by himself, ‘he makes good money’. If I hear someone (who doesn’t make good money) tell me that one more time, I swear I will drop dead. Gorgeous. Get it? Haha. He told me that he was so happy to have me there, his previous roommate is deaf and dumb, he was happy to have someone he could talk to, without having to use hand gestures and writing everything down. The previous roommate was a bubbly girl, she was very friendly, regardless of her disabilities, she looked like she was in my age group, she was chubby, like me, and all that. I found that rather interesting. She was a black girl. Speedy is a white older man, 56. Anyway, as we got to spend more time together, talking, I learnt that he always had a roommate, roommates always ended up being live-in girlfriends. Which somewhat explains the honeys and why he tried kissing me twice already. Speedy moves fast! He didn’t have anything nice to say about any of his exes (ex roommates/girlfriends), which made me wonder. The one who moved out before me had apparently moved in just before the end of the month, her story was very similar to mine. He told me she (like every girl he comes across) tried to ‘get’ with him. He wasn’t interested, he didn’t want to involve himself in a complicated relationship with a deaf and dumb person. YEAH RIGHT! And I’m Mother Theresa! Are you kidding me? The writing was so on the wall that it was the other way round and she wasn’t interested, he is always ready for a relationship. Thirstiest man I’ve ever met! One day while browsing through his pictures on his phone after he had asked to take a picture with me, I saw a ton of similar pictures of him with other black girls my age group, including the girl who moved out before I moved in.  It was creepy actually! What was I gonna do, I was already! All I had to do was spend as little time as possible at home, and start looking for another place. Let’s count how many times I moved last year alone;

January 2013 – Lived downtown LA with Elvis

February 2013 – Lived in Ontario with Mae

March 2013 – With the Chinese woman for a week (then back to Mae’s)

March 2013 – Salt Lake City (Utah with Cindy)

May 2013 – Salt Lake City with Laura

June 2013 – Grey Eyes for a few days

July 2013 – with The Roommate who owned the place

October 2013 – in a hostel in Hollywood

November 2013 – with Man in Hollywood

Novemver 2013 – with Speed in Hollywood

And already, I had to find another place to stay because it was clearly not going to work out with Speedy. Don’t you just envy me all that packing and moving and adjusting to new surroundings only to move out a month later? I know I would if I weren’t me.NOT!

Speed told me that I didn’t have to use the couch, I could sleep on his bed, he didn’t mind. I had just gotten the job with the client and was working full time, five times a week. I worked nights. Speed ‘worked’ day shift. He told me we could share the bed, especially seeing we slept different times of the day. I wasn’t interested in that idea. I move more than enough and have lived with enough people in the past year alone to know what will work and what won’t. That wasn’t going to work. At least not for both of us, maybe for him but I didn’t move in there for that kind of a relationship. I thanked him but politely refused his generous offer. How Chivalrous of him! He told me that he hadn’t watched TV since the previous girl moved in because she never left the house, she was always lying on the couch watching movies. His couch and his tv, she rented the couch from him. I don’t know what the terms were, so I wasn’t about to get involved. I told him that he should take one of the chairs from the dining room or buy another one because he tells us that we can use the couch when we moves in and is so fast to flip the scrip on us once we get there, it doesn’t make sense.

The couch is pretty long, It was probably 6ft, I’m  5’4”.  I told him to squeeze in below my knees when he wants to watch tv but I wasn’t going to sleep on his bed with his smelly s blankets. He seemed offended that I wouldn’t take him up on his offer. He thought it was the most normal thing ever for random strangers to share a bed. I didn’t. What do I know? I’m just a girl from Africa.

He played me some songs on the guitar and sang for me. His band does The Beatles covers. He’s not a bad singer, only problem is he suffer from shortness of breath, so when he sings, he sounds like he’s about to cough. He would come for a hug after serenading me. I didn’t feel comfortable with that, so I would be too tired anytime he wanted to play me songs. I just didn’t feel like bonding with him, not at that point of our relationship, not ever! I wanted to pay on the first of the following month, so that when the fit hits the shan (get it?), we wouldn’t have problems regarding dates, and times of moving out and all that. He told me it was month to month from the 1^st of the month until the 1^st of the following month. We talked about rent, I told him that I was waiting for my check from Utah, which I was, I told him I would pay him by the first for sure. He told me that I would have to pay for the last few days of November as well. I was like, uh, you told me that I didn’t have to, that’s why I moved in early, otherwise,let me move back to Man’s where I have already paid for November and move in on the 1^st. What kind of a weirdo am I dealing with here?

He told me that he was attracted to me, he was happy that I moved in with him, he was convinced we would definitely make it work, blah blah blah, he told me how good a person he is and how he has taken care of previous women he has lived with. He was married three times, the third wife wrote him a letter after the split, he read it for me, I was so rolling my eyes as he read it, I really could care less. I needed him to read that letter for me like I needed  a hole in my head!

He asked what I thought of him. I told him, nothing. I wasn’t thinking of him. I really wasn’t. I also told him that I am not looking for a relationship, definitely not with a man I pay rent to, to me it’s like he wants me to pay him for sex and that just doesn’t make sex. He must think very highly of himself for him to expect me to pay him for sex. That was a first, even for me. And I’ve gone through some stuff in my life! He told me I misunderstood, he loves me blah blah blah, don’t care!

I was on my way to the back to withdraw rent money, I asked him about utilities, when he expected me to pay for them. He told me he wanted the whole amount at once, in advance. That didn’t make sense to me. I told him that it only made sense if I waited until he got the bill, showed it to me and then asked for my share. I don’t care what my share would be, I just want to see what I’m paying for. He got livid! He told me to move out, it wasn’t going to move out. He told me he would rather live in his car than have me pay for utilities when the bill came out. He told me I was a liar, I had agreed to pay for everything in the beginning of the month. I never did! I had asked him how much utilities usually amount to, he told me $50. I said ok. That’s it! He told me, I can’t fool him, he has a very good memory. I was lying to him, I was trying not to pay him the fifty bucks, blah blah blah, "move out NOW!"

The Lesser of Two Evils

No word from Lewis after the date. That was in November, I haven’t spoken to him since the date.

I had been spending every free minute I had online looking for a job. I had hoped that at some point, something would give, don’t you think? I got a call from a man who lived in Pasadena. He was looking for a caregiver to take care of him at night. If it were not for the fact that he lived so far away, that would have been the perfect job for me because I was looking for night gigs. Something that would allow me to pursue acting in the day time. Fat and old or not. Kiss my *ss Lewis! The man wanted to see me for an interview. I am not a big fan of interviews. I’d rather go on a first date than an interview, given a choice. Alas, beggers can’t be choosers. He wanted to see me the following day.

I had applied for tickets to a Game Show that morning. I apply for so many things that I can’t even obsess over what I apply for, just apply and move on. If you get it, great! If not, oh well! I got a call from the Show literally as soon as I hung up from the Client. They had tickets for two show tapings, one was going to be the following day, the day of the interview and one the day after. I had a strong feeling about going to the show the following day. But I had committed to the interview! What to do! Man was home, (he was always home whenever I was there) he always contributed to my telephone conversations and skype conversations which I find to be very rude. He listens to my side of the conversation and, from that, deduces what the other person must have said and screams to the top of his voice, responding to what he thinks what the other person is saying TO ME! Not you, foo! Hate it!

I ended up rescheduling the interview for after the Show. I called the client back, he was cool with that. I had to be in costume for the Game show in case I get picked as a contestant. Man had heard most of the teleconversation, he was inspired to try on a few costumes from his huge collection. He lent me a a costume and hair. If not, I would’ve gone in scrubs. I was so excited!

The following morning, I got ready for the show, and took with me a change of clothes for the interview which was going to be right after the show and more than an hour ago, I didn’t have that much time in between. The show was a ton of fun, sad to see people so desperate to win prizes. A lesbian couple next to me only had $5 in their name. They hoped to win some money or something, if not, they only had the $5 for gas. That was rough. Alas, they weren’t even called to compete. Oh well. All audience members won A night in a luxurious hotel in Vegas an got a ticket for two for  a Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas. That never happens! Audience members never win on that show. So guess who’s going to Vegas? Tickets are valid until October 2014. I haven’t made up my mind when I am going and who I am going to go with. I want to make a vacation of it, since I have only been to Vegas for five seconds.

Straight from the show, I headed to Pasadena for the interview. I was in heels all day, lots of walking, jumping up and down at the show, dancing etc. My feet were not chuffed with me at all that day! The client was a nice white man. He sounded black the entire time on the phone haha. He told me he had a few other people to interview after me. He would let me know the following week if I got it or not.

A few days later, I went to bed early (as usual), I got a call from the client, he wanted to know if I could help him out that night. His caregiver didn’t show up. I checked the GPS, it said I could be there in an hour. I told him and quickly ran to the shower. I lost my nice, semi circular Gold stud I had gotten as a  gift a few years ago. It slipped off my ear and went down the drain in the shower. That dampened my spirits. I ran to the stop, missed the bus while waiting for the light to go green, missed another one while walking towards the station, because I didn’t want to waste more time idling at the bust stop. Well, I wasted even more because I ended up having to walk all the way to the station, more than 20 minutes. That totally sucked. My entire body was itching and tingling, that thing that happens to me sometimes when I walk. Sadly, I don’t know why triggers it. It makes me really miserable. As if I wasn’t depressed enough after losing my ear ring. I finally got to the station just in time for the train. Train was late, or not! It never showed. The following train was going to be in twenty minutes, that didn’t show up either! My gosh! WTF! This is not even my first day at work and I am messing up so much. I hate being late! #Don’tBeTardyForTheParty I was making such a lousy impression, I don’t the guy was even going to offer me the job.

Eventually, the train showed up. People were dying at the station, we were all so late! The client was kind enough to send his friend to pick me up from the station. I had to take one more train after the one that was late. So I was there after two hours. Fun! Not. The client has a bed in the living room where the Caregivers can sleep while he sleeps. He has a baby monitor to call us whenever he needs us. He asked me if I am a light sleeper. I am not. I definitely didn’t think I was going to wake up at all that night after such a long, depressing day. I had my phone on LOUD just in case I didn’t hear him trying to wake me up cos he can’t walk.

The night went out smoothly, I got paid that morning for the night as I wasn’t officially working for him, just filling in. He was still to make his final decision and let me know. It was nice to make some money for a change.

I went straight to bed when I got home, thirty minutes later, Man’s ex came by. He had the TV on full blast, the doors and windows wide open. For a change. I woke up to the ex asking him why he had the TV so loud when someone was sleeping in the room. He didn’t give a sh*t. I just woke up. I couldn’t sleep anymore, there was too much commotion.

I kept looking for rooms online for the following month (December). Nothing came of it. I was running out of time, the only offer I had was Speed’s. Or I could continue staying at Man’s. That was a no no! So basically, I had two crappy choices. I reluctantly went with Speed. His space was bigger and he had a job.

Speed’s then roommate moved out before the end of November. Speed told me I could move in early if I wanted, he would help me move. I only had my clothes and a microwave, which is what we used to prepare out meals as Man didn’t have a stove.

I got the job and started working while still at Man’s. He had a prostitute (literally) over every night I worked, so when I got home in the morning, around 9-10, she would still be there. Different prostitutes. It seemed to me as though he had moved someone else in who wasn’t paying rent. Where was she sleeping? I cringe when I even think about it. I had to get out. I asked Speed to move me. I offered to pay him gas money or something, he refused, oh well. I told him that I would be home around 10, pack, then tell him when I was ready for him to pick me up. He texted me around 9:30. He was outside the apartment! I wasn’t even home then! I didn’t get that! I was supposed to tell him when I was ready for him to pick me up, I don’t get why he couldn’t wait for my call or call me when he was on his way there instead of surprising me before I even got home. 

When I get home, I always knock first before I open up just to ensure there aren’t any surprises awaiting on the inside. I did the same that morning. Someone came to open the door. One of Man’s lady friends. The had been there for the past three days. The last time I saw her, they had just taken a shower together, Man was massaging her feet, they were both chilling on the couch. Romantic! Very romantic! She opened up and followed me to the bathroom. That was my first stop. I wanted to start moving stuff from there. She followed me there and thanked me for getting there when I did because Man just tried to rape her. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? She was reeking of alcohol. This is 10 o’clock in the morning! She told me that he took off her underwear and wouldn’t give it back to her. She also told me that he had offered her a place to stay in exchange for sex. Nice! Very smooth Man! You’re gonna have special deals with other people and move them into our place without my consent. What the heck is that? What about me? What’s in it for me? She told me that she didn’t feel like sex that morning, so he wasn’t very happy about that. I was like, I am not getting involved, last time I saw you guys, yall were all smiles, had just taken a romantic shower together, he was rubbing your feet. Plus you guys had a deal, I wasn’t there when that deal was made, AND I’m moving out, so whatever happens here doesn’t concern me. Maybe you should move in officially and be his roommate because he sure is gonna need one after today! She told me that she wanted to leave but didn’t have bus fare. Well, tell that to Obama cos Obama Cares! The interesting thing is that Man was online doing a phone interview while this all happened. He didn’t at all look like someone who just tried to rape someone to me. He was on the couch in the midst of an interview, shirtless, she was fully dressed and free to run if she wanted to. At least in my opinion. After the interview, I told him I was moving out. While I was talking to him, the lady snuck out. He was like, ‘where is she? Did she leave? F*ck!’ He ran after her. I sent Speed a text, he didn’t want Man to know that I was moving to his place. Apparently they know each other. I don’t know why Speed wanted to keep this a secret, but oh well. I called and told him that they were out there, to be careful.

After a while, I got a text from Speed telling me that he was still out there. I started moving stuff to the car. He was soooooo mad. He was grumbling, and cursing. I was like, why are you so mad? I never told you to come get me, I wasn’t ready yet, you’re the one who chose to come super early Did I mention he’s hard hearing? Well.....

Finally, I got my stuff in the car, we drove off, he was complaining the entire time. I knew I would’ve been better off doing ten loads on the bus! He told me I never warned him that I had so much stuff, I told him I only had a couple of bags. Uhm, I  never said that. Why would I say that when I know I have way more than a couple of bags. He looked at me and assumed that I must be the kind of girl who only has a couple of girls, sorry, Speedy, you’re wrong! He went to the gas station, I insisted on paying, and I paid! After paying for gas, he pulled up on the side and was like, do you have something to tell me? I told him, nah, thanks, I’m good. He said, don’t you think that was unfair, to make me wait out there all this time blah blah blah. I went over it again, explaining to him that I never told him to go there that early. I even showed him the texts. He ended up apologising, he misunderstood. He tried to kiss me in the mouth to make up for the misunderstanding, I was like, WTF? What are you doing? He ‘didn’t hear me’.