Saturday, May 10, 2014

Russian Roulette

Day after I accepted the money from Jon, the new roommate. The other guy texted to find out if the place was still available. I told him it was taken. Turns out, he would have taken it!

One of the guys who came to view was part French, part Spanish, part LordKnowsWhat, cute as hell. He was a tad bit taller than me. He also had a nice vibe about me. He was my first choice. Unfortunately, he had a few other places to view before making a commitment. He sat on the spare bed, we got to know each other a little bit. I was mesmerised by his beauty. He has long-ish hair, just the right length, green/hazel eyes and the most amazing skin. You know how hot mixed people are! I texted him the following day, he still had one more place to view. He texted me later on, telling me he found a place. He went with a studio that turned out to be in my apartment building. 'We are neighbors! You should come over for coffee or something!' He said. I had mixed feelings about that. I have a hot neighbor, yay to that! But then, I was screwed cos I just lost what could have been an amazing roommate. #ItIsWhatItIs

As you well know, I found a roommate, Jon. He happens to be from the same town Handsome is from. Five hours away from Los Angeles. I told Handsome this, we'll call him James. He was excited, he wanted to meet him. I told Jon this, he was like, 'I think I have reached the limit of straight guys. I don't need to meet any more straight guys!' Awkward. I even tried to get Jon to share some of his weed with James. He was like, man, you must like this guy, weed is expensive, I'm not sharing it with some guy, just cos you wanna bone him. That wasn't the case, I am not the girl for meaningless sex. Meaningless what? Sex? What's that? At this point, I don't even know what that is and how it's performed. I hope it's just like riding a bicycle - Mind you, I don't know how to ride a bicycle. No pun intended.

James and I chatted for the first few days until he settled in. Then the conversation fizzled. I think we mutually forgot about each other. I kept going to TV shows. Judge Judy, who I adore. If you watch the show, you may have seen me on some of the episodes, Dr Phil, Arsenio Hall, Queen Latifah, Chelsea Lately, to name a few and a whole bunch of sitcoms. I saw and met a lot of celebs I have watched over the years over there. One who sticks out is the black guy from Felicity and Scrubs, Donald Faison, Seth Green, Nick Lachey (Jessica Simpson's ex hubby)'s wife, Vanessa Lachey, she is a tv host. I got to talk to her, she loved my big, afro hair. Gorgeous girl, but I'm team Jessica All the way. What can I say? I love her shoes and bags, nail polishes etc. Don't judge me, I shop at Ross!

One morning, After having been with one casting network for almost a month and not having been booked the entire month by them, I saw a notice for a rush call. A rush call is when they need people on set within an hour of sending out the notice. They had a phone number in the email which I called. They booked me on the spot. It paid good too. I was excited. the shoot was an hour away. I jumped into the showed and rushed out the door. It was for a commercial. I got there nice and early but not as early as he hundreds of people who got there before me. No electronics, please leave them in your car. Sure, will do! Only, I don't have a car! They kept preaching how they were not kidding, they would kick us out of we were caught with cellphones on us. Sht. I went and kid mine where the sun don't shine. Use your imagination!

I went back to the line looking ever so guilty. I needed my cell and I wasn't going to hide it under a random tree or a rock and break it. Plus, I didn't know anyone on set that day even though there were hundreds of people. Eventually, I cracked up a conversation with some girl who is 'one of the few original LAers' Like I care. I'm an original African 'American', so what? Anyway, I guess she is proud of that. She told me that they had very strict security, they found cellphones in people's crotches and shoes the previous day and they kicked them away. Sht! They're definitely going to find mine. I need this gig and I need to keep working with these people. She told me I could just tell the staff that I took the bus, they would hold my cell for me. Turns out a lot of people did that. For some reason, the lady forgot to mention that when she was busy threatening us about getting fired. I left my phone with them #whew

They searched us thoroughly and put us on buses to a secret location. That location was The Santa Monica Airport. There were 1 300 of us, I was told. Count em! That's a lot of freaking people! We got into some hall, they did sound check. Some people had already been there the previous day. It was a three day shoot. An Italian girl I was standing next to had been there the previous day. She asked if I knew who was performing. I was like performing? I thought this was a commercial! She was like yeah, that's what they tell everyone but it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone on social media or anything like that. It's Youtube. I was like Youtube? Yeah, Youtube! Ah ok. I guess she meant it was a Youtube commercial.

We were there for what could have been an hour when a short guy with glasses came onto the stage. I was asking myself, who is this short man with attitude, could it be Pitbull? I looked closely, OMG It's Bono from U2! (Youtube, get it? Damn Italian Accent!). I was so excited, my day couldn't get any better. We got to hang out with Oprah's friend, what! When the people around me saw how excited I was, they told me I could move closer to the stage, they didn't mind, they had been there the previous day. They all but a couple who made out the entire day, didn't mind. So I got to watch U2 sing and that couple make out all day long. all in a day's work! U2 was doing a video of their song Invisible. By the end of the day, we all knew the lyrics to it haha. Check it out on youtube and know that I was there :). It officially debuted during the Superbowl so it was a big deal, hence the secrecy.

He had this swing like mic that he would hold onto and swing towards the crowd, when he did, I made sure to spank his ass haha. When he got back on stage, he said, I felt something in my ass. I was like that was me boo haha. I got to spank him a few times. I am not not gonna touch Bono in what could be my only chance of doing so, sorry. I've come too far not to take advantage of that. It was an awesome day, they fed us good, there were bagels and coffee (which I don't drink), snacks, fruit and warm lunch. They did good for a company that was feeding more than a thousand people.

Lunch time, we all went out. I had my lunch, then on my way to get a piece of fruit, a really cute guy came to me looking ever so excited! He game me a hug, I knew I must have died and gone to heaven. Listen, I am pretty lucky in general but not that lucky! I blinked hard, to see if I was dreaming and realised, I wasn't. It was James! Dude is fine as hell! It's the kind of beauty you don't get used to. He was booked for the same gig! I knew he was an actor but I mean, I didn't expect to see him there. It was nice to see him. He asked how I got there. By bus of course. He drives so he offered to give me a ride that night. I told him not to wait up because there were so many people there, we could lose each other and I didn't want him waiting forever for me. I could just take the bus back. He told me where he was parked. He was going to wait for me for ten minutes from wrap up time, then leave. That was the deal.

I went back in after lunch, his group was sitting outside. It was freezing cold. January, still winter. They had heaters though, so they were well taken care of.

We wrapped up around ten pm. It was a very long day. Call time was around 6am. During lunch, I met a nice Russian lady. We got on like a house on fire. We ended up hanging out together inside, talking about all kinds of things, and men. She told me I have to go out on 100 dates before I find the one. She challenged me to go on all the dating sites I could think off and search, search, search. If I did, she told me, I could get married by the end of 2014. Not one to back down for a challenge, I went, YOU'RE ON, BTCH!

That night, Russian Roulette and I went out. She has  a car but everyone is packed by the beach where we were supposed to meet up in the morning, they were going to take us back there in buses. That's where I was going to meet James. They had our cellphones. We had to wait in line forever. Well, I waited in line while Russian Roulette was collecting all the left over food, sticking it in huge bags that she had brought with her. I was so embarrassed for her. I turned a blind eye. What was I gonna do? As soon as I got my cellphone back, an hour after we wrapped, I already knew James must have left, I just wanted to call and tell him, I would be fine. The bus from Santa Monica to Downtown LA, via Hollywood operates 24/7. I was going to be ok. As soon as I turned my phone on, he called. He had left me messages telling me he was waiting for me. I wasn't sure what time he had left them because, well, my phone isn't that cool. It only shows the time you turn the phone as the time the message came through, that's it.

I took the call, he told me he was still waiting for me. This was more than an hour and a half after we finished up. He was the first group to leave, I felt so bad that he had to wait for me. It was very nice of him. Of course, I was the last one to get dropped off. Murphy's Law. He had heated up the car, it was nice and warm inside. It was much colder outside, it being midnight and right by the beach and all. I got on the car and couldn't help but stare at him. I thought to myself, maybe I could follow him to his room and thank him 'properly'...

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Gonorrhea Treatment

New year, no issues! Time to find a roommate, FAST! I had posted an advert on Craig's list almost as soon as I moved in but people were busy with the festive season. I hoped that when everyone was back in town, people would wanna come over and check the place. They did indeed. Some were contacting me from out of town, they wanted to move two months from the time the ad was up. I couldn't wait that long, plus why would you wait for someone who hasn't even viewed the place?What it they had a few places lined up for them?

A number of people came to view my place. It's in Hollywood, so when the out of towners come to see it, they expect it to look like the movies. They want it to look like Beverly Hills, Hollywood Hills or Malibu, sorry boo. Just Hollywood! The very first guy who came to view was from Texas, he had only moved to Los Angeles the previous night. I met him at the main entrance of the apartment, he was so scared, he was shaking. I asked if he was ok, he told me, 'This is not what I expected'. You would swear the guy just saw a ghost. Dramatic Much? He told me he googled the neighborhood, apparently a few blocks down the street from me, is a very dangerous neighborhood, Lemon something. According him. I assume he meant Lemon Grove. He told me never to go there and also told me to move out of my place ASAP. I was like, what are you talking about? I just moved here last week! I'm not moving out!

A few more people were that way, they looked at West Hollywood, which is more towards Beverly Hills and a much more expensive part of Hollywood and expect this to look like that and yet they want to pay the price I am charging. You get what you pay for boo. Why don't you move to WeHo then if you're to fancy for my neighborhood? Shoot! A few people were interested but had a few other places to view. A lot of those were looking for their own bedrooms. Mine was a studio to share. EVERYONE who came to view my place was male! Where my female roommates at? Gees! A guy named Jon (that's what we'll call him), emailed me, he was  a 38/39 year old gay male, blah blah blah. I was interested because, no offence to my gays but he was the closest I could get to a female and the age group was matured so I was hopeful. He came over the following day to view, liked the place. He uses public transportation, we have a bust stop right by the apartment so that was a plus. He was moving from not too far from my place anyway, so he is familiar with Hollywood, he is gay, so he knows West Hollywood AKA the Gayest part of Lost Angeles. He told me he was going to arrange for someone to move him. He would pay me then as well. Oh and when he got here, either his perfume smells very strong or he had been drinking. We're still awaiting verdict on that.

While he was here, he told me about his life, his family, his friends, his then rooming situation. He lived in a two bedroom apartment where there were two people per room, so there were four of them in total in the house. His roommate wasn't talking to him. He was being a jerk blah blah blah. Not to everyone out there: When you meet someone you are hoping to have any kind of a relationship with, leave out the negative! Don't tell them about the mean people who will no longer talk to you or your Aunt Rose who is such a bitch, you had to hit in the head with a pot. Ain't nobody wanna hear that! It makes people's guards go up, they can't help but wonder if you are not the one with a problem. Some will use that against you in future when you have an argument.

Jon would then text me that evening, telling me what he's up to and with him. Don't you just love it when someone refers to people you don't know by name as if you know exactly who that is? He texted me for the following two days. No word as to whether or not he was still coming. He was just talking about himself and his life. I had to ask him what the deal was, was he still interested or not? I kept the ad up. I couldn't just assume I had found someone without him having paid yet, right? Another guy came over to view, he seemed to have liked the place, we clicked, it was great. He was going to sleep on it and let me know the following day if he was going to take it. On his way out, Jon came by to pay. I was over the whole thing of having to be available to show the place, I wanted my life back. I took the payment, gave him his keys, and we were good to go. He took a few more days to move in. He couldn't get hold of his friend who was going to move him. He was planning on sneaking out of his roommates. Apparently, he didn't pay deposit there, so he could just leave without them owing anything. I wanted some kind of security deposit. It wasn't much, just a little. He paid me that. He told me that they were about to get kicked out of the old place. Apparently, some of them were not paying, so they were in trouble. The notice for eviction in 7 days was pushed under the door while Jon was home alone. He stole it. He wanted them to get a surprise of their lives when they got kicked out. I thought that was malicious but then again, I don't know the back story so I just thought to myself, I had to be careful about the guy, he had  a mean streak.

He had a ton of stuff! Bag upon bag, upon bag! He had a nice pair of boots that was supposedly special so he thought that had to go on top of the microwave which itself is on top of the fridge. I was like, yeah, I don't think that's a good idea. He wanted the microwave, which he doesn't use because he is all about being green and saving the planet, in the bedroom, right next to my bed. I was like, I don't think that's gonna roll. What exactly are we doing here? Shoes in the kitchen and microwaves in bedrooms?

He unpacked some of his stuff and left the rest in suitcases in front of his bed. I ain't kidding ya when I say the dude had a lot of stuff. He told me that wasn't everything, he had some at all his friend's places. We got along fine, we had tons of laughs and long chats about Hollywood and men. He is also a transplant from five hours away. He had been here for a while though.

He is on a gay hook up app called Scruff. He met a lot of men there. We would always have someone new to talk about.

Did I mention that just after he moved in, he told me that he was talking treatment for Gonorrhea? Apparently he got it from someone who gave him head at a club. You know how it got to someone's throat right? Can the church say eeeewwwwwww! Of course, I ran and bout all kinds of disinfectants, anti-bacterial this and anti-viral that. I don't know if gonorrhea is contagious and how but I wasn't gonna take a chance. The only person I know who had gonorrhea (untreated) is now mentally disturbed. Apparently, he cured his STD successfully. Without spreading it to me, might I add. He told me that he learnt his lesson, he had been a slut and was done with all that. That was a wake up call for him to only be getting his first std at that age. He was so terrified, he even called and told his very conservative father. Haha, poor parents. #awkward

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

After being so done with Speedy, I headed to my new place. He had asked me why I was moving out so early, I had a few more days before January 1st. I was like, bye!

I settled in at my new place, walked around naked just cos I could. It's way out of my budget, so I was going to have to find a roommate. That was the bummer. I did enjoy the last few days of 2013 in my apartment by myself, eating take outs (take aways) though. I slept in the dark, without anyone watching the telly while I was asleep or smoking weed in my presence, it was the perfect ending to a crazy year. That was my eighth move in 2013. I was tired yall! Exhausted.

Julie came over a few times to 'see' me. This is what happens when she comes over for a 'visit'. She calls to find out if  I am home, then tells me she was thinking of dropping by because she hadn't seen me in a while, then she comes over, sits on the floor (she likes that. I'm ok with it if she is), then she asks to check her emails on my computer because they don't have internet at hers. I pay for mine, it's not something the US government unfairly gives to some people and doesn't give to others, so all they have to do, she and her man is to pay for it too. Especially seeing as she lives with her man and a roommate. Everyone in there has a job, clearly they can afford a few dollars for the internet. If I can afford it, they surely can. Anyway, I will give her the laptop and let her do her thing. After checking her emails, she will ask to check her messages on Facebook because some people don't have her number, so they message her over there. Fair enough, I let her. Usually, when she comes over, I would normally be in the middle of doing something on the computer, so I have to stop doing what I am doing, because she 'missed' me. She would then hang out on facebook, trying to multitask, she would ask me about my day, etc, and go on to chat with her friends while I answer, leaving me talking to myself, cos nobody can multitask that much. You can't have two conversations with separate people at the same time. I don't care how good a multitasker you are. 

If I as much as walk out or go to the loo (restroom), I will come back to find her quickly checking the history of websites I have visited on the net. One day, I found her looking at my pictures, which are located elsewhere on the computer, not on the net, which is what she had asked to use. Or I will come back to find her trying to quickly upload pictures on facebook, then she will quickly pull out the memory stick, when I walk in. It's kinda weird. I don't know why you would want to know what I do on my computer, and why would you want to look at my pictures in my absence, the joy in looking at someone's pictures is having them there giving you the back story of the picture. Unless you are looking to find that which the other person doesn't want you to see. Well, that's a whole another story. And I think that's what she was trying to do.

If I tell her about a guy I met online, she would ask to see a picture, when I browse through the pictures on my phone to show her the guy, she is so focused on the pictures, she would be like, what's that? Who's that? Like, if she sees a little bit of skin, maybe a guy sent me a shirtless picture. I would show her quickly, and then go back to what I was doing and eventually show her the person I was talking about. She would take the phone, browse through, and not even look at the person I was showing her. The person whose picture SHE had asked to see. B!tch don't browse through my sh!t! That's not cool. You don't do that.

I bit my tongue the first few times until I couldn't take it any more. My internet is very slow when it comes to watching videos, so I would spend the day buffering a few episodes of whatever show I would be watching at the time and then, enjoy them later when I am done doing whatever I was doing. She came over one night, I had about four episodes I had buffered that day. I asked her not to close the browser. When she was done, she logged off, she always made sure to log off, she would even come back from having left to make double sure she logged off. That from someone who snoops through my sht when I'm gone. Get your own internet and you won't have to worry about logging off! Anyway, that night, when she was done, she logged off facebook and yahoo and closed the browser. I lost everything! I was so mad! I was like, did you just close the browser! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! that's what she does when you have a conversation with her, she's not listening to what you're saying. She just goes yeah! A lot of people do that here, that's why I keep conversations light. Nobody cares, they just wanna talk about themselves. When you talk, they are thinking of what to say next about themselves. The moment you shut up, even mid sentence, the blurt out something about themselves. They will tell you the same story over and over than listen to what you have to say. I had to repeat myself and asked her again if she closed the browser after I had asked her nicely not to. She was like oh, oh! Sorry gurl! I am so sorry! I explained why it was a big deal to me. She may think I was being petty but then I think they are petty for not getting their own internet, what I do on mine is my business, don't invite yourself to my place and judge me! GTFOH!

After that day, she came one more time, spent three hours on the internet while I watched her enjoy herself not knowing what to do with my hands. She was on TMZ and other celebrity blogs that she found from browsing my history. I had to ask her if what she was doing was urgent because I gave her the computer to check her messages, I myself haven't had a chance to look at the blogs because I was looking for jobs, but now I am having to sit and watch her live the life while I have things to do on the computer. If you are here as my friend because you missed me (which is impossible because you don't even know me like that. You never ask me anything about myself or listen when I talk, so not only do you not know me, you are not interested in getting to know me), why do you spend all your time here on the internet? Clearly, that's what you came here for!

After the second confrontation, she never came back to my place. I was so relieved, good riddance! I got to enjoy the comfort of my new place. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB! 

She would call, ask what I am up to, then tell me she is on her way to the internet cafe. I guess she was trying to make me feel guilty. Do you think I felt guilty? No prizes for guessing! She had previously told me that she didn't want to use the free internet at the library, she didn't like the vibe over there and didn't want to pay at internet cafes just to use the internet. She and her boyfriend had wifi before. They stole it from someone in the neighborhood, when that person found out, they changed login details, so they were no longer able to steal it. I thought it was ballsy of her to tell me she didn't want to do those things to get internet but then come use mine which I pay for. Maybe I'm full of sht but I don't get some people's thinking processes. Or maybe I'm slow. 

I had a new friend who I met at Chelsea Lately. We'll call her Jessie. She is South American, nice girl, who could either be 20 or 40, the jury is still out on her age. Don't ask, don't tell. She is obsessed with wanting me to lose weight. She tells me I have a beautiful face but I have to lose weight. She's like if I were to lose weight my life would change dramatically, I would get more acting gigs, find a hot boyfriend etc etc. Er duh! You think I don't know that? That's what makes it that much harder to lose weight. The pressure of it all. She told me she had great diet pills at her house, she wanted me to use them. They guarantee a loo of 1lb (500grams) per week. I didn't believe that but what did I have to lose but weight, right? 

She kept forgetting to take them with her when we met up, so I offered to go get them at her place, she agreed. I walked over there, big mistake! It wasn't as close as I had anticipated. It was like an hour's walk or something. In the heat, good thing I had my umbrella with me. I was still in high spirits over my new place so nothing could bring me down. It was the end of one of the craziest years for me, so I was excited and looking forward to 2014. I arrived at her place, which she shares with her husband. I love her husband, he is hilarious. I met him at the taping of the Queen Latifah show where we all won laptops? Remember the friends who gave me a ride home? This is them. We hung out at her cute place, she made lunch, Peruvian! We drank Peruvian soda, it was nice! I had a nice time with her. She told me some of the craziest stories I have ever heard, and I've heard some crazy stories! We laughed, we cried, fun times all around. I must have been there for 5 hours or so, when her husband got home. That was my cue to go home. He didn't stay, he had forgotten his bicycle on the bus, so he went back to get that at the depot. I stuck around a little longer, then eventually left. By the time I left, the trains (subway) was free for a few hours. Free rides for all, new Year's special to prevent New Year's eve Traffic jams. I took the subway to Julie's. She had called and wanted to spend New Year's eve together. I wasn't up for it, I thought, I'd go with them a happy day and go home. I was ready for bed, chile, I'm old! 

When I arrived, she came to get me at the main entrance of her block, she lives right on Hollywood Boulevard, nice apartment block, with two swimming pools. She is the one whose at whose house we spent Christmas Day. She was all dressed up, she had done her hair and all. I was like, whoa, where are you off to? The musician that she had over at hers on Christmas had a party at his friend's, she was ready to go there with her boyfriend. She asked me to go with them. I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like being in another party with people I don't know ho were highly likely going to be drunk and stoned and it's NYE, people are going to make out at midnight. I've already gone through all that at Christmas, I was ready to have a nice and relaxed NYE. I politely declined. Her boyfriend wasn't about to leave the house either. So she ended up not going after all. I felt sorry for her. Boyfriend's friends, who are a couple, dropped by just before midnight. Speed was texting me, telling me I was right. How do  I know these things, why is it that I am always right? He was sucking up, needing attention. He didn't want to be alone at midnight, he wanted to be in the midst of a conversation with me. I wasn't going to be in the midst of a conversation with him at midnight, so I stopped texting. He was telling me that he did have that girl, the ex move in after I moved out. They did have sex. Whoop defreaking doo! Then she left him and went back to her boyfriend that she had had a fight with. Does it look like I care? Obviously not! I told him, I was no longer his roommate, I didn't have to listen to any of that anymore. It is what it is, happy new year boo! 

After midnight, I headed home. Julie walked me to the station. We stood there and talked a bit, people watched. There were people everywhere! It looked like it could be daytime. Some people were crying over the stars of their favorite celebrities on the walk of fame. Michael Jackson's fans put lit candles on his star, it was cute and sad. I got home, talked to my family and went to bed early hours of 2014. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014!

Monday, March 31, 2014

The Apartment

After Christmas, Julie took me to an apartment block where she lived for six years when she first moved to LA. It's in Hollywood. I got contact details and called the office the following day as soon as they opened. They told me that they had two apartments available, they had a couple view them previously, and one of them was soon to be taken but the couple hadn't signed anything nor paid yet. I rushed over to the place. It was a good 45 minute walk or so from my place. I could've  taken the bus but whatever!

I arrived at the apartment in such a hurry, viewed the two available units, one was on the fourth floor, which is also the top floor and one is on the second. One has a nice view of LA, the other, no view at all, just walls. The apartments are so small as it is, all you need is to see more walls when you look out the window #claustrophopia. I took the one with the view. I had to pay for them to do credit check on me, this, that and the other. They don't accept cash or cheque (check), so I had to walk around some more, in the sun, looking for money order places. When I did find a place that sells money orders, they didn't accept debit orders, so I had to either look for another one or an ATM, I found the latter. The limit was $120! That wasn't gonna work! I called the bank to find out where the nearest one was to me, the lady didn't understand my accent so she couldn't be of much help. I found another money order place, they charged a ridiculous amount for using debit cards. I was like heck no! I eventually found another ATM, that charged the same as the money order place, I had walked too much and was hot and tired. I remembered that all they wanted was just some money to ensure that I wanted the place, it didn't even have to be the full deposit. I had some money in my wallet from my salary that  I was going to deposit at the bank later, I added that to the money I had withdrawn and paid the deposit and some of the rent money and told them I would pay the rest when I went to collect the key. By the time I got back, they had already done the credit check. I just had to pay for it. They interviewed me, looked at  my application, All was in order, I got the place. I WAS SO HAPPY! That was one of my happiest moments in this country! My own apartment, with my own name on the lease! It was a huge achievement to me! I was so happy, I gave the manager a hug. She was so sweet and so cool throughout. They told me I would get the key on the last day of December. I didn't want to move on New year's day, so I asked them what the earliest I could move in was, she told me a few days before the end of the year, she was pretty cool there, because they didn't charge me for those days.

I headed Speed's. On my way home, I called my bff from New Jersey. I told her the good news, my friend from Ontario who I love, the two of them are my rock here and Julie who had helped hook me up with the place. I got home, rested a little bit and started packing. Speed hadn't been spending that much time at home, he was working left, right and centre. Thank goodness! I wasn't going to let anything happen to dampen my spirit. I was in cloud nine and I intended to keep it that way. I was only at his one or two more nights after Christmas and I was gone! I didn't have any furniture so I didn't have to worry about that. I decided to go cheap or go home! I went cheap! I came to pay rent and collected the key one afternoon. I walked around the neighborhood to see what's up. I was psyched! I had the key in my very hand! I walked to Food 4 Less, they have fried chicken over there. KFCesque. I used to have it when I lived in San Diego with Perry. I got some and some rolls and came back to the apartment. I hung out over here, munched on the chicken. So not worth it! And I had bough 8 pieces! The plan was to live on that for the first few days at the apartment. If you know me, you will know I am not big on cooking. I put all that in the fridge. The apartment comes with a kitchenette with a stove and fridge, I have a microwave. All I needed was a bed. After munching away, it was late, I was tired, I lay down on the floor and woke up the following morning around 1. I spend the rest of the night at the apartment.

The following day, I walked around looking for a bed. That was really all I needed. It was hot out, winter, but still hot! Southern California for ya! I was looking for a small bed and maybe a sleeper couch in case I end up having to have a roommate. I found a small bed and a fold up bed. Perfect! I bought both, they would deliver for me at a fee, I am three blocks away from them, so that wasn't much of a schlep. They also had bedding for my beds, new sheets, fitted, flat and a pillow. They had pillows across the street. I got all I wanted at a go. I have my comfy cashmere blanked that I got from the Queen Latifah show and a sleeping bag I bought in Utah. I couldn't be more set. I waited a few minutes for the driver, he dropped me off and helped me to the elevator. He left. I pushed my stuff to my apartment. Fortunately these beds are so small, I was able to carry them one by one to the apartment. The last bed I bought was my custom made king size bed in South Africa. This was a major upgrade (NOT). It's comfortable nonetheless.

I got home, set everything up, tried out the bed and woke up the following morning around 3. While I was still setting up, I got a call from Speed. He told me he misses me. He asked if I was ok and where I was. I told him I was ok, I was looking for a place to stay, OBVIOUSLY! Where else would I be, I had been given a week to leave his place, I had to act fast. I may have mentioned that I might not be back that night. He texted me an hour later asking me if I would mind if he let his friend, conveniently an ex of his, crash on the couch that night. He was like, she got herself into some kind of a situation with her boyfriend, she really needs a place to crash tonight. I told him that he had told me no friends allowed, so he should know what the answer to that question was as he had set the rules. He told me that she was desperate, he never would have asked me if it weren't that dire. I was like, so it's not ok when I want to chill with my girl friends in the daytime but it's ok when he wants to shag his girlfriend. He told me they are not together, she is with someone else blah blah blah. I was like Speed please! You know you want to take advantage of this girl now that she is nice and vulnerable, that woman is not going to sleep on the couch, you tell me that because you don't want me to come home tonight, so I don't disturb you guys. You have kicked me out, in a matter of days I will officially out, hold your horse until then. For now, NO! If I can't have guests, neither can you. He was like I should have known you were gonna say no. This woman is here right now, but I will check her into a hotel if you don't want her here. I told him not to make it seem as if I am the bad person here, he made the rules, I am just playing along. I suggested he follow her to the hotel, seeing as he will be paying.
Paying my left n*t. He knows he can't even afford his own place, what's he talking about checking an ex girlfriend into a hotel. N word please!

The following morning, I was up early. I had a ton of stuff to move by bus. I told you I went cheap! I bought a day's bus pass and did three trips. When I got to Speed's that morning, he was like, I owe you! You were right, I can't have that woman here. She would've taken advantage of me and I wouldn't have been able to say no and before you know it, she and I would have been back together just like that. I was like, dude, please! I am moving out! I don't care! You don't have to lie to me about your sex life. Soon, I will be a no factor in your life. He went on and on, attention seeking about something that's based on nothing. Then he asked me what's up on my side, what have I been up to. I told him absolutely nothing. He asked what I am doing, with luggage in my hands, on my way to the door, I told him, 'nothing, just chilling!' and walked out. Around midday, I was doing my last trip. Speed was home. Again, he asked what I was doing, I told him nothing really. He was like, Brook, you're obviously moving out, where are you moving to? Have you found a place? I told him that's something he should have thought of before he gave me a  week's notice to move out because he wants to have sex with his ex. 'She's not the reason I am kicking you out. I will not even have a roommate once you move out. I am so done with roommates, blah blah blah' Kiss my s, Speed, I don't buy it!

As I was about to walk out, a few minutes before the bass came, he told me he wasn't going to let me carry all that stuff by myself, he'd be damned. How Romantic! Seeing as that was my load, and he was there the entire time I was moving, much much heavier stuff, now all of a sudden he was concerned about my well being, now that I was really leaving and wouldn't tell him where I was gong. He was curious! He wanted to see where I was moving to. I told him, I was ok, thanked him for the offer and went on my merry way. As I walked out, he rushed to the car and waited for me there. I didn't care. He called and was like, come on! Let's go, I'm waiting for you! What a psychopath! To think that that man was weird from the first time I met him when he tried to give me a kiss till the very last moment I saw him! Gosh! I ignored him and just left, he ran towards the stairs, where I was headed, gave me a long, gross hug. I was so ready to leave, ugh! He then tried to kiss me in the mouth, EEEEEEEeeeeeeewwwwwwWWWW!

Sunday, March 02, 2014

The Hollywood Sign

I spent Christmas eve with Julie. Then hung out at her place that night. We went over to my place to get my laptop so we could play music. We had a nice time, getting to know each other. Her boyfriend got home late that night. He was out of town for a week. Cute guy. He looks like a beautiful girl. So cute! We all hung out and talked. Later that night, BF went to sleep. Julie was cooking, I dozed off on the couch. When she was done cooking, she told me I didn't have to go home that night, I could just crash on the couch. I did just that. It was late, I was half asleep.

I left early the following morning for mine. Everyone was still asleep by 7am. I was up around 5 or so, so it was already late morning for me. I decided to go home to freshen up. I texted Julie that I had left. I told her to let me know when she was ready for me to go back. I saw some tourists from Canada on Hollywood Boulevard, on my way home. They were so excited, taking pictures, etc. They asked for directions to the hollywood sign. I felt like such the tourist when I gave the directions. They asked what else they could do on the boulevard, and they wanted to see Michael Jackson's Star. Of course, I know where that is, I have taken a picture on it!

Speaking of the Hollywood Sign, a week prior, before I quit my job, Speed told me he wanted to do things with me, as usual. First he brought me Roses. This was after I snapped and asked him, as someone who is trying to get in a relationship with me, what has he done to woo me. He brought me those the following day. It was an awkward moment. He first called on his way home to ask if I was going to  be available to go out for dinner that night. He had just gotten money from the lawyer from the car accident. I didn't care because that morning on his way there he flipped out about not wanting my South American friend over at his house because he hates Mexicans and has nothing in common with them. Anyway, when he called, I told him that I was tired and was going to bed. He was like, 'well, I guess I will have to keep these roses for myself'. I guess that was his way of telling me that he had planned a romantic evening for us. Who cares? I was like ok, bye.I didn't know what to say. For someone who had been married three times, he sure didn't know how to get into a woman's pants.

He came home with the two roses, the highest number of roses I ever got is 18, but who's counting? He looked me deep in the eye when he got home, handed me the flowers and tried to get himself a kissy in the process. I ducked, thanked him for the roses and overreacted. I had to, I was underwhelmed by the act. It was inappropriate. Who brings their roommates, who they fight with all the time about everything red roses?
He put them in a vase and set them next to my laptop. I let them sit there until they died, then I threw them away, washed his vase and put it away. Nothing changed. After the roses, when I told him that I wasn't available to go out to dinner, he told me that I owed him an outing in the daytime when I wasn't tired.

Whenever I would leave to do something with friends, he would complain that I still haven't gone out with him. he came out with the brilliant idea to take me to the Hollywood sign, knowing that I had never been. I wasn't psyched that he was going to take me there. I would have rather go with someone I care about or by myself. He is a tour guide so he goes there all the time with tourists. He asked to take me to the lake for a picnic and to the sign, I agreed under duress. We were to do that on a Sunday. He reminded me that night. The following morning, after workm I had to go downtown straight from work to run an errand, he texted me and told me that he hoped I wasn't going to be too tired when I got home because we were going out that morning like it or not. I wanted to die.

I was like, you know what I am just going to do this and get it over and done with. After that I was never to agree to anything, come rain...! I got home looking like a zombie, he even told me I looked like sh*t then asked if I was ready to go. I told him, yep! He was like, do you need to freshen up? I said, I'm tired, let's get this over and done with. He is so shameless, he didn't even care that I talked like that. We went to the car, he drove off. There were some special homes and sights on the way to the Hollywood signs, he talked to me about all those, would slow down for me to take pictures, I didn't give a sh*t, I just wanted to get the whole thing over and done with. He was in such high spirits, he was singing along to music playing in the CD. We finally arrived at the spot, he parked his car and showed me a house that Madonna used to live in across from the hollywood Sign, I took a picture of that. I took a few pictures of the statue, he took a few pictures of me. I looked around and smiled, taking it all in. He said, 'I am glad I am the reason you smiled. This is the first time you smiled in three days.' I don't know why he's counting. He was the main reason I was miserable!

He didn't even get that I didn't want to go there or anywhere with him for that matter. Anyway, soon, we drove back home. He told me to count myself lucky that I had him to do that for me, he doesn't do that for everyone and people pay big money to go there. Blah blah blah. I thanked him for taking me there. On our way home, his phone rang. He was vague talking on it. As we entered the gate to the apartment, there was a lady waiting there. He approached the car. He went, 'Hi!' Told me bye, he had to go somewhere. Basically he dropped me off outside the gate and went on his merry way with the smiling lady. I was praying, please Lord, let this be his girlfriend!

He soon came back, an hour or so later. Dang it!

So the morning after the night he tried to watch tv and I asked him to lower the volume, Speed left for work. He called me as soon as he left the apartment and asked me to move out at the end of the month. I said ok and hung up.

I was still up When he got home that night. I knew he was going to wanna talk about it. I didn't. He would only want to do it to clear his conscience anyway, not because he felt bad to having hurt my feelings, which he didn't. He said the most famous last lines, 'Look! Brook!' F*^k! I wanted to die. This is not working out. I think for the same amount you're paying here, you can find yourself a private room where you can make as much noise as you want and not wake anybody up. When he was trying to sell me the place before I moved in, he told me I would never find a deal like that anywhere else. All of a sudden, I could? B*tch please! He was like, now that you are no longer working and your system is out of whack from working nights, It's hard for me to get a good night's sleep. This makes me grumpy at work, I yelled at a tourist today! Can you believe it? I wasn't even looking at him. It's hard for me to make eye contact with someone who disgusts me. I was focusing on my phone, doing nothing. Could you put the phone down for a minute? Sure, what? wrap it up, I need to go to sleep, plus I need to be nice and fresh tomorrow cos I have to find a place to stay in a week. He went on about how it wasn't working out blah blah blah. When he was done yapping, I bade him good night and went to sleep.

I walked home Christmas morning. Took a nap, freshened up and set aside Julie's Christmas gift for later. Speed got ready for work. Just before he left, he wished me a Merry Christmas and told me to look under the sofa, maybe Santa left me something there. I was like, what kind of a joke is that, I'm not doing that! He insisted and left, so of course I checked. There was a wrapped up gift with my name on it. I couldn't believe Speed got me a gift. I didn't get him anything. Dude just kicked me out a few days prior! I wondered when he could have gotten the gift.  Before or after he kicked me out? I called and told him I couldn't accept it. He was like come on, it's the least I can do. You don't have any family here, I had to do something. Come to think of it, it would have been nicer if he had gotten gifts for his kids that he hasn't seen in forever instead of a middle aged, random African woman who won't give him the time of day. Anyway, I was like screw it! Opened the box up. There were lottery tickets in there, the scratch kind, I didn't win any money. Only two more scratch cards which I have to claim by mailing those cards back. I have yet to do that. There was also a box of Dark Chocolates in there, two layers of chocolate. It was nice of him, I guess.

Around 8pm. I got a call from Julie. She told me that everyone was at the party, I could go over. Speed was back. He had promised to make me the most amazing dinner that Christmas but I told him I had plans. He was disappointed when he learnt of my plans cos he had bought all kinds of Christmas; food like a huge turkey and everything else. Unfortunately, he hadn't asked if I was available so it's what it is. He ended up not cooking. Also to retaliate, he told me that he was going to have a friend over to spend Christmas over at the apartment with him cos he didn't make plans with his other friends thinking that He and I were going to have a nice quiet Christmas at the apartment alone. It's like this man was living in his own little bubble. He was clueless as to the reality that is my life that was happening right before his very blue eyes.
That night I asked Speed to drop me off, it's 2 minutes away. I really didn't feel like walking again. He was like, you know there are cabs right outside the apartment that you can hire to take you anywhere you want. I was like, Really? Thanks for telling me that, let me go get one right now. Thanks so much, Merry Christmas! *ss hole. My sweet friend Julie has been trying to hook me up with someone since we met. I told her I like White guys. She decided to have a black and a white guy at the party for me to choose from. Sweet, right?

I arrived there and found Julie, her girl friend, Julie's man, his friend, his other friend, the one Julie was trying to hook me up with. I had met him previously, she asked what I thought of him. He's ok. I believe he's bisexual. I would like a straight guy next time for a change. Spotty was Bisexual. He was never with any men while we were together, but just knowing that he swung both ways was slightly bothersome. A few other of my exes were that way too. That's a whole another blog! Julie's other friend, a musician, was there with his son. He's the black one. People had already been drinking for about two hours and smoking the green stuff by the time I got there. They were listening to music off of The girl friend's iPhone. We all sat around the dining room table and got to know each other. The friend I had met before, asked if I wanted to go to the balcony to smoke. I told him I was good, thanks. He told me he likes girls who smoke weed.Obviously I wasn't his type then! The GF was like, I'll smoke weed with you! They went out, smoked, came back made out in the kitchen. They made out all night long until it was time to leave around 1am. Scratch that guy off my list of prospects. The musician? Nah thanks.

Saturday, March 01, 2014

What Ever Happened To The American Dream?

It was already halfway through December. The 'industry' was about to shut down for the festive season. I was looking forward to more work in January having just signed up with one more casting company. I got more leads from friends and signed up with more. Some require you to pay a registration, some a monthly fee, some both. You do what you have to to get where you wanna, which is what I did and still continue to do.

I was busy looking for another place to stay, story of my life. Nothing solid was coming up on that side. I was also looking for a job, part time, full time, whatever! I prayed for a nice, smooth Christmas, where I wasn't going to feel molested both at home and at work. It's sad when people have to pray for that. That should come naturally at this day in age, especially in a first world country like America. Whatever happened to the American Dream?

Julie, my half Nigerian, half American friend had invited me to spend Christmas with her and her Russian Boyfriend. I was honored that even though we didn't know each other that well, she felt comfortable enough to invite me over her place. Thank goodness I wasn't going to be stuck with Speed that day. My other option would have been to work that day. Neither of them were as fun as spending it with a new friend and meet more new people.

Week before Christmas, I took a day off from work. I was so tired, and really not up to going to work, I felt lie crap. I sent Client a text excusing myself. I sent it around lunch time. I was supposed to be at work at 8pm. I gathered he had enough time to find a replacement. He always checked his messages, I mean the guy is bedridden, he does everything within that room. Of course he went for 'walks' on his chair in the day time, they would take him out etc, which was nice and therapeutic.

That night, around 8pm, I got a text from him telling me that he only just saw my text, he wasn't impressed that I didn't think to call to tell him that I wasn't going to show up that night, he told me that in future, I should call. Apparently, he couldn't find someone to fill in for me. I didn't buy that someone who was always on his phone didn't check his phone for 7 hours. I went back to work the following. After taking a day off, I felt what it would be like not to go to work again. I really had to think hard before going back the following day but I did. Plus, I had one more day's work before payday. Alas that was to be after my two off days. If I was going to get paid, I had to work until payday, get paid and then think about quitting. That night, the night after I took a day off, Client told me that he though I was still mad at him from the night he wouldn't let me leave early. I just smiled in response. He asked if we were ok, I told him of course not! He asked me never to scare him like that again. Apparently, because I am always smiling, he automatically assumed that I was a robot that had no opinions and feelings. I smiled in response to that too.

The following morning, he told me that I had changed. I asked him how, he told me that since that argument, I wasn't that smiley, chirpie Brook he knew. Well beau, that's what happens when you take someone for granted! You see a different side of theirs, one that you might not like. He told me that the other aides yell at him when they are mad, they tell him how they feel, he wasn't sure where he stood with me. I told him that I was there to work and not to show my feelings, I put my feelings aside when I am at work. I am not there to show people where they stand with me. I don't have that privilege.  While I am at work, I have to do what I am supposed to do. If I am not happy with how things are at work, then I will remove myself. I told him that I am not one to change people and how they do things. People should be themselves, if I am happy with how they are, great, if not, then I remove myself to the situation, it's that simple. They will find someone who is into the kind of person they are, or not but I can only control myself, and how I handle things. He told me he was very happy with my professionalism and wished his other colleagues had the same thought process. Well.... good luck with that, I'm on my way out!

I got a call from Jen, she was just checking on me. Conversation went something like:
Jen: Hey, how are you doing?
Me: Good, thanks, you?
Jen: Ok thanks, how are things with the new roommate?
Me: Ok thanks
Jen: Have you slept with him yet?
Me: What's that got to do with anything?
Jen: I'm just asking, remember I predicted you were going to?
Me: I haven't slept with him.
Jen: I thought you liked him? How's work? Have you quit yet?
Me: No, why do you have to expect the worst out of everything?
Jen: It's not that I am expecting the worst but I know you. You are always moving and changing jobs.
Me: But you don't even know me. I only had one other place to stay when I moved here which didn't work out and one job.
Jen: I don't believe that things are good
Me: Well, I can't help you there, gotta go. Bye!

It's like she didn't call to check up on me, she just wanted to see if she was right about her lousy predictions. I wasn't interested.

I had my two days off at work, then it was Friday, Payday. Only I got paid the following morning, Saturday. At the end of my shift. Client called thirty minutes before I arrived. I didn't pick up. He sent me a text asking what time to expect me at work. I am always on time. I didn't understand why he felt the need to call to ask. I got there just before 8. He seemed relieved to see me. He told me he didn't think I was going to be back at work. And not get paid? Are you joking? I just smiled.

I worked my last night in peace, knowing it was the last supper. The following morning, he almost forgot to pay me. Good thing I kept saying to myself, 'don't forget to get paid!' My check wasn't even with the rest of them, maybe he really didn't think I was going to be back. Which is strange, did he think if I didn't return, I wouldn't want to get paid for the days I worked? Anyway, I got paid. When I left, he went, 'see you tonight?' I replied, 'bye!' knowing that was it. I was done.

That day, around noon, I sent him a text, 'hi XXX, I will not be coming back to work. Brook.' I wasn't going to call him, I had lost all respect for this pervert of a man, I sent him a text that was courteous enough. I didn't want him stranded that night, expecting me to show up. Plus I didn't want him reporting me to the department of health for neglect. He never responded to my text. I didn't care.

I slept all day that day, I had been so tired from working day and night. I was up early the following day. Around 3am. I watched some tv shows on the laptop. There is a lot of light in Speed's apartment, everything has a light bulb in it. If it didn't come that way, he puts one in there. All his clocks have light in or around them. I had trouble sleeping in there, especially in the daytime, when the body isn't really up for it. No pun intended. I would sometimes unplug the switch of the Living room clock's light just to make it a little dimmer in the room but he would turn it on as soon as he got back home, he didn't care. He wouldn't ask why I had it off, which was obvious plus I had mentioned at some point that I liked the room dark when I went to sleep. He promised me a totally different living arrangement to what I got when he found out I wasn't going to sleep with him. You would swear I wasn't paying rent there. He was so obsessed with whether or not I was going to sleep than the fact that I was there as a paying tenant and that should matter more and he had an obligation to treat me with respect and to at least try to make me feel comfortable. It's not like I was expecting him to turn off all the lights while he was asleep and he liked the lights on, no. This is in the daytime, a time he is supposed to be at work, seeing as he had told me he had a job when I moved in. Next thing he made it his full time job to obsess over me.

He is the type of person who goes to a room just after you and turns the light off if you left in on or vice versa. If you open the window, he will close it and or vice versa. If you drink water in the kitchen and leave the glass by the side of the sink, he will put it back in the cupboard, regardless of whether you are going to be back to use it again. If I am busy on the laptop in the kitchen, or whatever, and I leave the light on because I am going to the bathroom, when I go back, the light's been switched off. He has the coldest apartment in all of Southern California, he walks around in two sweaters, jeans and sneakers all day, all night. His heater wasn't working, so he would turn the stove on in the kitchen to heat up the apartment. The kitchen is a separate room, so the stove took forever to heat the rest of the apartment. He had the stove really low too cos he's saving gas.

If I am home alone, cold and turn on the stove, then doze off on the couch, I would wake up freezing, cos he got home, turned off the stove and left. It's like are you freaking kidding me? But when he is at home, he sleeps with the stove on.

My first morning after quitting my job, Speed woke up mad. He told me that he hardly slept that night because I was busy on the computer. I asked him what about my using the computer woke him up. He told me it was the clicking of the keys, only I was watching a tv show, so I am not sure what keys he was talking about. I had my earphones on, so there was no sound plus heellooooo, you're hard hearing! What are you talking about? I think because he saw that I was on the computer in the middle of the night, and not in his bed sucking him off or whatever fantasies he had about the two of us, he got mad and wanted to pick a fight. He didn't hear anything cos even if there was something to hear, he is hard hearing, he wouldn't have heard it, but he assumed that if I was on the computer, I must have been typing, so he was going to complain about that.

I told him that he had told me that he is not a light sleeper and seeing as how much light there already is in the entire apartment, I didn't think the light from my laptop was going to disturb him plus I like my screen really dark, so it didn't really add anymore light to the already well lit apartment. He was very emotional, he went on and on, he gets quite worked up #AngerIssues. I got pissed off and told him that the problem was not with what I was doing, it was the fact that at 56 years old, he can't afford his own place to stay and has to share a studio apartment with random people and this time, he found one who refuses to sleep with him. He is bitter over that and can't get over it like he promised he would if I wasn't willing to be in a relationship with him when I first moved in. He was lying then, trying to impress me about how much of a gentleman that he was ok with whether or not I was going to date him. Unfortunately, none of that worked, I wasn't interested in him. He is the least attractive person I have ever met in my life, both physically and otherwise.  He told me that that was rude and uncalled for. There was no need for me to attack him like that, I am the most rudest, most cruel person he has ever met in his life. I added that that was because I wouldn't sleep with him. If I had agreed to be his concubine, he wouldn't see any of those characters in me.

He had begged me to quit my job and now that I had, my first night home, he wasn't happy. There was no pleasing that man. Imagine if I had quit because of him!

Christmas Eve, Julie asked if I wanted to tag along while she ran errands. I was like sure, any reason to get the heck out of this place! The industry was closed the the year, I had nothing to do to keep myself busy. We met up on Hollywood Boulevard and headed south, she had a few things she needed to do. I just tagged along. I went home nice and tired that night and ready for bed. Speed got home around 10pm and watched tv. He shifted my feet on the couch and sat to watch tv. He had the tv on full blast, That woke me up as the tv is right in front of the couch where I slept. He watched TV until around 2 the following morning. He did that for the next few nights,probably out of spite. He is very catty. I woke up early that morning and went to use the PC in the dining room space of the kitchen. God forbid I should wake him up from his beauty sleep. He complained again the following day,about how loud I was moving around the apartment at 2am. I was like Speed, please, STOP IT! You went to bed around two, how could I have woken you up when you yourself only went to bed that time?

That night, he was in a good mood / romantic mood smdh. He asked that we watched a movie together. I told him I was tired, plus I'm a grandma, I go to bed early. He watched by himself, left to buy weed, came home, smoked and watched some more, it was very late by then, I had such a headache from lack of sleep. It was kinda like being at Man's, he used to get home around 1am too, turn on all the lights, the tv, have it on full blast and smoke weed. I felt cursed that I ended up in a similar situation to what I thought I had run away from. I asked Speed to lower the volume. He told me that it was low. How can you argue with a hard hearing person about something like volume? What was low to him was still very high to me,especially late at night, when it's quiet outside. He got pissed off and turned the tv off and went to bed breathing very heavily. He was fuming!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Queen Latifah Show

I continued to go on TV shows. Good Fun!
I called Jen the week I moved into Speed’s. She was disappointed that I was moving out of Man’s and that I wasn’t ok with watching him sleep with prostitutes. I guess she was hoping to live vicariously through me. My bad! She told me that she had a feeling I liked Speed that’s why I was moving in with him, she even assured me that I was going to sleep with him. Well, I had no intentions to and even if I did, it was none of her business. Sorry I didn’t sleep with your ex that you tried hooking me up with. My bad on that too!

One morning, after work, I had a strong feeling to go to the Queen Latifah show. I had never been before. It’s a little ways away;  a little more than an hour by bus. I had work that night, I thought it best to go to the first show taping at 11, so that I could get in a few hours’ sleep thereafter. I took a quick shower and headed to Sony Studios in Culver City. I was excited to finally have plucked up enough courage to go to the show. I was excited to be seeing the Queen for the first time. I remember in South Africa, my acting agent always sent me for Queen Latifah type roles. One of the casting directors in Randburg used to call me Queen Latifah. It was about time I saw this person with my own eyes! I followed my GPS, took the first bus across the street from my place, then another one thirty minutes away. That one took me up to 5 minutes away from Sony Studios. Everything is exciting to me here. A lot of the times when I go somewhere, it’s my first time, so yeah.

I arrived there, mind you I didn’t have a ticket. I had applied for a ticket to the show but not for that day. I was just following the feeling I had inside that day. When I arrived there, there were two long lines that went on forever. I asked if I could hang around until they’re done loading audience, to see if they need one more person. They told me I could. There were other people there that were doing the same thing. One of them was a lady  I had done background with before. She was a nice lady, Peruvian. She was there with her husband that day. They were also standing by. I was so excited to see a familiar face! Her husband is pleasant too. He’s American, he had recently been to Africa on a three month Safari/Business trip. He showed me pictures. It’s amazing the kind of pictures non Africans come up with from Africa. I don’t know anybody from Africa who has those kinds of pictures. Anyway, we all waited outside for the longest time.

Eventually, they took in all the ticket holders then they came to us and told us that they had a full house, they would take us in if we wanted to wait in the holding room and watch the show on tv. I thought to myself, I have work tonight, I haven’t slept a wink, I didn’t come here to watch Queen Latifah on TV. What the heck is this? I asked my soon to be friend if she though I should wait, she told me yeah, let’s all, we will get laptops today. She was just saying. I thought, sure, why not. We went in. The guest was The D Lister herself, Kathy Griffin. Love her! Alas, I only got to watch her on tv! But just knowing that I was in the next room to her, was nice enough. You take what you can get, right? She played some games with Queen, one of them had her revealing a Christmas gift for everybody in the audience. EVERYBODY WON HP LAPTOPS! The audience was jumping up and down for joy. We were not part of the audience. We had been told beforehand that we were not going to get any of the gifts. I tell ya, it ain’t fun watching people win gifts. A few minutes later, one of the Audience co-ordinators came to us and told us WE WERE ALSO GOING TO GET LAPTOPS. In fact, we were going to get all the gifts that day! It was the Christmas show! We all won up to more than $1700 (R17 000) in prizes! Can you imagine! I couldn’t believe my luck! Of course my friend never let me hear the end of the fact that it’s because of her that her husband and I stayed that day. And she foresaw that we were going to win laptops. We got HP laptops, Silver necklaces with the piece sign pendant, a face cleansing thingy, a nice smelling candle in a great reusable candle stick, a nice knife from a TV Chef who was the guest that day, ponchos, cashmere blankets, pots, one year Netflix, tons of popcorn, the best in the country, that was shipped to our addresses, a tower of snacks, that was shipped too, I got mine last week; all kinds of decadent snacks, nuts, choc brownies, popcorn etc, a Bluetooth speaker shower head, that’s like the coolest thing ever, never again will I not hear music while in the shower, what else? That’s all I remember. It was an awesome day. We left late that day, fortunately my friend’s husband’s friend was going to pick them up, they gave me a ride to my place.

I was so late,  I got home, took a quick shower and begged Speed to give me a ride to work. He did, that was nice of him. That night he sent me a text telling  me not to ask him again blah blah blah. See if I care, I just won a ton of gifts from the Queen Latifah show. I felt like I had just been to the Oprah show that day. I told Client that night when he asked me how my day was and what I did.

I had since been two more times to the Queen Latifah show, one of those episodes, we won snakeskin  iPhone 5 cases worth $150. The following one, the guest was Trace Adkins (sp???). Love him and his amazing baritone from Celeb Apprentice. He performed Little Drummer boy. We got the CD and Queen Latifah’s CD as a gift that episode. I played  little drummer boy all week long. And the week after! The following day, I went to the Chelsey Lately show (E! If you have Cable or DSTV). Guess who the guest was? Trace again! By then I was singing along to the song, he didn’t perform but they had it playing the whole time before and after the show. It was a nice treat to get to see him two days in a row!

My colleagues were always late, night shift is the only shift that worked 12 hours, the other two shifts split the other 12 hours amongst each other. I always showed up on time, I use public transport so you have to be early. I would sometimes sit on the bench outside Client’s place and smell the roses while waiting for my clock in time. Day shift would be up to 30 minutes late relieving me in the morning. It wasn’t cool. Client didn’t do much about it. He had to have someone there at all times, so I had to wait for my relief. My first week there, he paid me for the overtime. Second week, no such luck. When he didn’t pay me, I told him I would no longer be able to stay longer than my already long 12 hour shift. 

I got booked to do background work by an agent I have been dying to work for for a while. I was going to be off the following day. I finished work at 8am, would have to go home, more than an hour’s trip, get changed, then head to the studio. My call time was 9am. I was never going to make it. Before I committed myself, I thought I’d get to work first and ask Client if I could leave early the following day. I asked him and he said yes. I was so happy. I texted the agent back and told here I would be there. I was so glad to finally get booked by this agent, I thought I wanted to make a good first impression so that she could keep booking me. Who knows? Maybe I would get to quit that lousy job and just do background work. Something that feeds my soul. Client had friends over, they had their ‘bible’ study group. They left a couple of hours after I got to work. Client called me over to his room, he told me that he just remembered that he will need me there the following morning, I won’t be able to leave early. WHAT? I told him, I was sorry but he had already agreed and I had committed myself and I wasn’t about to cancel on that agent. That was the last thing I needed! He got excited and started yelling, talking about but this is your job, it has to come first! You can’t leave me here by myself! If you are not going to stay until 8 tomorrow morning, you might as well leave now! He started making phone calls to his friends and everybody. He has a baby monitor so I heard everything from the other room. He was telling everybody that I wanted to neglect him, he wanted them to come in and take over blah blah blah. I don’t think anyone was available at such short notice. Thing is neglect is a big offence in that line of work. I could lose my licence if he reported me. He doesn’t have anything else going on in his life, he would totally report me to the Health Dept.

He called me back to the bedroom and asked if I was really going to desert him the following morning. I was fuming! I hated the position he put me in. I told him I needed a minute to think about it. That to me was the final nail in the coffin. I knew for sure after that day that I was on my way out. Out of desperation, I texted Speed, told him the story, he told me that he was willing to pick me up that night if I wanted to quit with immediate effect. I told him that I would work that night, I thought it was better if I was going to work my entire shift but I needed him to pick me up the following morning at 8. He told me he would make an exception. That was very nice of him. He offered to bring me a change of clothes, which was even better. He really went out of his way for me that night. He was on the phone with me trying to find an outfit for me for the following, he couldn’t find matching socks for me, so he lent me a pair of his own socks. He even brought my wig haha. It was really very nice of him.

I told Client that I would stay the entire shift. He thanked me and apologies for the inconvenience. I didn’t care. It was too late. I was so tired that night and just drained from everything. I put him to bed and passed out in the other room. He called me in the middle of the night. Apparently he called me more than ten times and I didn’t hear him. When I heard him, I thought it was the first time! He told me he was freaking out, he thought I had left. I told him I had given him my word that I would stay that night, and that’s what I was going to do. He called me again after a couple of hours and I didn’t hear him haha. It was bad, I was really tired that night. And he needed more more than he normally does at night.

That morning, I used his wet wipes to freshen up and rushed out at 8:00am on the dot. Speed was waiting for me outside with my change of clothes. He got out of the car and let me change, had a smoke, got back in the car and wanted to talk about us. Looorrrddd! Not that dead horse again! He took me to set. When I got there the job was cancelled. We still got paid but it didn’t happen after all. I was still glad I made it! From then on, I was officially in that agent’s books. Yippee!

Saturday, February 22, 2014


For someone who fell in love with me at first sight, Speed sure seemed to have fallen out fast! He didn’t want to talk about it. I asked him to explain to me why he didn’t agree with my idea of letting me first see the utility bills before paying for them. He told me ‘because I say so’. Just like that!  I was about to take a shower and head to the bank. I was going to give him the amount that he wanted for peace sakes but he didn’t even want to hear me out. He just wanted me out. Like the plague! I couldn’t believe it! He was getting really worked up, I had to walk away. After the shower, he saw me walk out, called me back and asked if I was just going to act like I didn’t walk away from him while he was talking. I told him he wanted me out, I was going to move out, it’s his place after all. I told him that I was willing to pay him the money as he wanted it, I just wanted to talk about it. I thought as grown ups, we could talk about stuff like that, especially considering rent is the only thing that brought us together. If he wants to talk about relationship and doesn’t want to talk about rent, we have a big problem. He explained that the previous roommate(/girlfriends) he had had the same argument and ended up not paying for utilities at the end of the rent. I was like, first of all, I am not them, secondly that’s what happens when you sleep with your roommates, things get complicated, thirdly, I am not going to sleep with you. He was like, how horrible a person must  I be that you can’t even consider dating me? I told him that it had  nothing to do with his character, it was a principle thing for me that I don’t sleep with my roommates. Plus he’s not even cute, so please! He’s not the kind of person you want to break your own rules for. AT ALL! He apologised for losing his cool, asked me to stay, gave me a hug and aimed for a kiss. Uhm, WTF!?!?!?!?!? This is not a romantic moment! We’re not a couple! Get it already!

That afternoon, he had work. He called me from work, asked how I was and whether I wanted to go out that night to a nice restaurant and maybe a movie. I guess he was taking me on a date. My treat seeing as I was to pay him rent that evening. I told him I had plans that night. I didn’t but whatever! He seemed let down that I turned him down. I was like, dude, I have my own life and plans, we don’t have to do things together just because we are roommates. On the contrary, actually, I didn’t want to do anything other than room with him, even that I was over already. It got weird fast.

I worked Sunday to Thursday nights and had Friday and Saturday nights off. I thought that was a nice schedule. I got paid Friday morning. That was cool too. It’s not like I was going to go out every weekend on shopping sprees or anything, it was just nice to have money every week, that’s all. I did some background (i.e. extra) work in the day time, for which I got paid cash, daily. That was nice too! I would put my money away, you have to be careful with money especially when you are so far away from people who know and love you. More so with my track record. Just in general.

I got paid the first week, had the weekend off. I went back to work on Sunday. Client asked if  I would mind changing schedule, instead of having the weekend, he wanted me to take Wednesday and Thursday off. I told him I’d think about it. Speed and I were more civil towards each other every day. He harassed me less and less the more he saw that it wasn’t going to happen. The sex thing, I mean. I tried to keep it simple, I didn’t want him turning around and blaming me for leading him on. Every now and again, we would talk, I would tell him what’s going on at work, he’d tell me about his ‘women’ for example, Paris hilton’s sister has a crush on him. Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood Madam who was also on Celebrity rehab had a crush on him, women from Beverly hills, loooooveee Speed. But he doesn’t want any of them, He wants me. Yeah sure #EyeRoll
When I told him about the change in my schedule, he wasn’t happy at all. He told me that if I had my off days during the week, it would be a problem for US because then we really would not see each other. As It was, I was working every night and going to TV shows in the day time but at least I had the weekends off from both work and TV shows. If I was going to work weekend, he would never see me. I thought that could be a thing! For us not to see each other. Also, it didn’t seem as if I had a choice with the schedule, someone was quitting or something and Client had to reshuffle the schedule. I agreed. I lost a day’s work in the reshuffle. That’s what it was, nobody was going to do anything about it.

As a night aide, I would nap on the bed in the living room when Client went to sleep. The bedding reeked! You know the smell of sweaty hair + Hair product + body odour+++ I couldn’t deal. I would throw a jacket over the pillow to protect my face for that mess. I further asked if I could wash the bedding, Client reluctantly agreed. He told me the bedding had never been washed since he bought it, Lord knows when! YYYUUUCCCKKKKK!!!! I washed it as soon as he agreed. The washer and dryer were downstairs in the same apartment block.
I got really tired as time went by, not getting enough sleep in the day time, doing background work and working nights was getting to me. Whenever I would be out, I would get tons of messages from Speed complaining that it had been whatever number of days that we hadn’t hung out, what’s the point of living together if we are not going to spend time together? I know that was a rhetorical question because if he really wanted an answer, it would’ve been, ‘to save on rent!’ Blah blah blah blah blah, complaints complaints! You would swear he was my wife or something, Gosh!

At any given day, there would be three aides working, morning, afternoon and night (me). Client was bedridden. There would be dishes in the sink, trash in the kitchen and bathroom, the cans would be overflowing, I would take it out with me on my way home but that got tired fast. I mean, I would have to take out the trash my first night back from my off days. Not cool. I didn’t want to be that person who complains to the boss, so I decided to just handle my night shift, whatever I found there, I would leave there. There was no hand soap in the bathroom, you know with that kind of work, you have to have antibacterial soaps all over the show as well as hand sanitizers because you don’t want to spread anything, either from you to client and vice versa. At first, I thought they had run out but after a week, it didn’t look like they were going to replace it, so I asked him to add those to his list. He told me he wasn’t going to go to the store anytime soon, and asked me to buy them on my off days with my money, he would refund me. I am not big on those kinds of deals, give me money, I will buy what you want and bring you back your change. But I made an exception because I was doing that for myself more than anybody else. I got them from the Giant Dollar Store for close to nothing. I got the sanitizer, soap and hand lotion. I gave him the receipt. He paid me back just less than what he owed me. He either didn’t look at the receipt and just paid me what he felt they should cost or whatever, I don’t know what’s on people’s minds! I didn’t ask for the rest of it because as it was, I had to keep reminding him to pay me back, so I was like, this is not gonna happen again. He doesn’t pay me for my time anyway, my time when I am not at work is mine, not Speed’s, mine! Not long after that, he wanted me to buy him pills from the pharmarcy, he gave me money, I bought them for him. He didn’t want them, he thought they were too expensive and told me he can get them for a buck from the dollar store, of course, I wasn’t going to be the one getting those for him. I wasn’t going to be the person who bought those kinds of pills all over the place and be seen walking around with them in my purse, sorry. Plus, If you tell someone to buy you something from a certain place and they do, don’t tell them, they would have gotten them cheaper elsewhere, YOU are the one who told them to go to THAT place to begin with!

The job of a Nursing Aide is not that fun, you get to do for someone everything they can’t do for themselves. Some of those things are meant for them to do in private, some of those things smell, but you get to do all those things, no fun at all but it’s gotta be done! Apparently, I was better at doing most of those things for my client than all his other six or so aides, so he made sure to wait it out until I came in and made me do everything under the son to him. Imagine the most grosses things anyone may ever have to do. Hint: It could be considered sexual by some! ‘

He got borderline obsessed with me doing those things to him. One day, I was standing close to him working on his groin area, he looked me in the eye and said, in a creepy kind of voice, I feel weird when we get this close! EEEWWWWWWWW! I was like, say what? He repeated, I’m thinking that was a rhetorical What? You pervert! When he said that, and the way he said it, I knew I didn’t want to do that job anymore, especially for him. I had to think of an exit plan. I wasn’t going to be harassed at home and at work. Client also asked if I could work Christmas day and the night before. He wanted me to spend those days there working around the clock. He was expecting people, his other aides all have families, they wanted the time off to spend with their families. He thought he’d ask me because I don’t have family here. #PoorMe. I told him I’d think about it.

I told Speed about the latest at work, the creepiness etc, he got livid! He told me I had to quit that job, that is not what I signed up for. He was willing to drive me around to hospitals and facilities to look for a decent job. I wasn’t about to accept a favour from Speed. I had asked him one day to drop me off, he did, then sent me a text telling me that if I just want to be platonic roommates, I am no longer to ask him for favors. I had offered to pay that night, he told me he wanted me to take me out to a movie and dinner instead. First of all that’s more expensive than gas, secondly, that’s waaayyy more expensive cos that’s time with me, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to take this random middle aged man on a date just because he took me to work, come on now! A for Effort though! He would go on to do things or say things (Speed, I mean) and then turn around and send me texts to the contrary. Like this one time, I made friends with a half American, half Nigerian girl I met outside the Judge Judy show. She lived close to Speed’s. I was so excited, we wanted to meet up again and try going to another TV show together. I went home to change, Speed was home. I told him about the girl. I had told her to wait for me outside because I didn’t think Speed was going to appreciate me showing up with someone. It shouldn’t have been a problem because I lived there too and had paid but I just didn’t want drama. Speed was ready to whine at the drop of a hat, I didn’t want to give him something to whine about.I ended up going home very late that night, around 11. I was off the following day, so I did my best to keep myself occupied and out of the house and as far away as possible from Speed. My phone  was off during the show, when I turned it on, I had a ton of messages from him, complaining about my not spending any time with him. I didn’t respond. I thought he just wanted to get all that off his system, so there, he got his chance!
 When I got home, he was sitting on the couch  waiting for me. When I walked in, he sat up and looked like he was ready for war. The couch was my bed, so I guess I wasn’t ready to go to bed according to his thinking. How do you go to sleep with an angry man sitting on your bed almost at midnight? I sat down, he was like, ‘Look, Brook!’ That was his line. Once he said that, I knew he was about to whine. ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ I told him, it had been a long day. I was tired, I really wasn’t in the mood for another argument. Can you imagine being married to that man? My gosh! I asked him why he thought I should give him a chance, what he had done up until then to impress me and get me to want to go out with him but try to make out with me out of the clear blue sky or just complain, complain, complain! He told me not to worry about it, I obviously didn’t appreciate all that he had done to impress me. I didn’t care, I just wanted to get the heck out of that apartment and never ever see his face again #puke

The following morning, I got a text from my Colombian friend (South America) who lived in Ontario, California. She and a friend of hers were going to be in Hollywood. He wanted to meet up. I was excited, I hadn’t seen her in more than six months. They were going to do some things on Hollywood Boulevard which is down the road from Speed’s. I told Speed that my friend was going to kbe in the neighbourhood. I asked what her plans were for that day, I wanted my friend to come by and see where I lived. He asked if it was the friend I had told him about the day before. It wasn’t. He told me that he could tell that I was in love with the new girl I had met the previous day. The half Nigerian girl. He didn’t think it was fair for me to bring girls to his apartment and sleep with them on his furniture while he can’t bring anybody because he’s in love with him, and yet I keep telling him I am not ready for a relationship. Meaning, if I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with him, I couldn’t be with anyone else. Plus, who on earth told him I was going to sleep with my girl friends? What kind of sick, twisted mentality is that? Can’t people just be friends? Just because he sleeps with his roommates, doesn’t mean I sleep with my friends, WTF?!?!?!?!? He told me that we had agreed because it’s a small space, we were not going to have any body over. We never did! We never had that conversation! I told him that, and he called me a liar again. Telling me that I conveniently forget things to suit myself, he was convinced we had had that conversation.

He had had a car accident with some celebrity lawyer the week before, he was on his way to meet up with the lawyer, he kept telling me that he was about to have a lot of money. I think he was trying to lure me in with his $1 500 N word, Please! Really! I may be from Africa, but you gotta do better than that! You’re a 56 year old Male who is sharing a studio apartment. You’re not rich! Far from it! Quit playing! Not that I would date him if he were rich, he just creeped me out. Everything he did wasn’t attractive to me. EVERYTHING! And he was very pushy, I just didn’t like him like that. In fact, I wonder if I liked him at all. I also don’t think he liked me like that either, he was just taking advantage, that’s all. He didn’t do anything to show that he liked me, it was all about him, taking what he wanted, and forcing me to be his, for his own good. He was trying to make sure I didn’t even have friends so that I would be stuck with him text book psychopath. I wanted no part of it!

He got all dressed up for his meeting with the lawyer, I was on my way to the store, he offered me a ride, I told him I’d pass, thanks, I didn’t want to pay for it later. He complained about that. That I’m saying he bitches and moans when we’re together. I was like, all I’m saying is I’ll walk to the store, thanks, that’s all! He insisted, I was like, screw it! I got on, when we got on, he lit up a cigarette. He’s a chain smoker. He had promised not to smoke in the apartment. In fact, he told me he doesn’t smoke inside. I caught him a few times, chilling, smoking and deep in thought. Or I would come in just after he smoked and smell the smoke everywhere. Anyway, I asked to be let out the car, I didn’t want to be in there to begin with, now, I have to inhale his second hand smoke. He apologised and complained about how he has to go through all these changes for me, he can’t smoke in his own apartment (N word, you don’t own the apartment, you’re renting the place just like I am, quit saying it’s your apartment!), or his car, he can’t do this, can’t do that. I don’t have to make any changes in my life! I was like, you think I’m happy? He told me, I get it! You’re not happy because I didn’t want you to bring your friends over so you can have sex with them on my couch. I was like, never mind, get me out of this B*tch! He stopped on the side of the road and was like let’s talk about this. Why won’t you be with me, Brook? BECAUSE I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!  I gotta go now! He told me I could bring my friend over, Just the Colombian one, he didn’t want the Nigerian one there, he was sure I was in love with her and was definitely going to sleep with her if I had her over. I was like you think I want to sleep with this girl, which on its own is a whole another blog, why am I being accused of being a lesbian? Oh, I get it! Because I won’t sleep with him, I must be a lesbian cos nobody can resist THAT, right? Anyway, I thanked him and walked away.

He called about five minutes later and told me that he is a good person and that always backfires on him. He was tired of being taken advantage of by people he loves, I was NOT to bring anybody over to his apartment. That was HIS apartment and we had agreed that no guest because we were going to focus on US, blah blah blah yada yada ya! I said, ok, bye and hung up. He called again, I said Speed, you’ve made your point, you changed your mind, which you have the right to do. I will call my friend and tell her that they are no longer allowed at my place, my roommate, who owns the apartment, changed his  mind, simple! He was like, don’t start with that reverse psychology, I know all about that, I was married for 10 years, I know the tricks! I DON’T WANT TO WALK INTO MY APARTMENT AND FIND YOU HANGING OUT WITH THESE PEOPLE WHO I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH. I HATE THESE PEOPLE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE MEXICANS BLAH BLAH BLAH. I said you know what, They are my friends, you don’t have to have anything in common with them. I had to hang up. He was trying to get me as worked up as he was. It wasn’t worth it. He’s not worth it. He’s such a drama queen, you have no idea. This is a middle aged man who had been married three times, who have kids that, not surprisingly, are not a part of his life. Instead of obsessing over being with Brook, you’d think he would save that energy and work on being part of his kids’ lives. He never talks about his kids, ever! I don’t care, I’m just saying!

My friend and I ended up not meeting up because their schedule was tight. I had never asked them to come over to my place, I thought I’d talk to Speed about it first, good thing I did because It didn’t work out.

Speed told me that he didn’t like that I was working for that man and touching his genitals when I won’t touch his. He wanted me to quit. He was willing to support me until I got another job. He would do anything to get me the heck out of that place. I thanked him and told him I would quit when I was ready to. I didn’t want to do it because he was over it, I had to do it when I was over it which I was, but I didn’t want him telling me what to do. Plus how was he going to support me when he couldn’t afford to pay rent in his studio apartment that he was so proud to claim when it suit him? Him and I had a crazy relationship as roommates, the last thing I needed was to depend on him. Could you imagine?

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Move out! NOW!

I moved to Speedy’s just before the end of the month to Speedy’s. He had told me I could do that and didn’t have to pay since his then roommate move out early. He told me that he just needed help with rent for the winter, otherwise he can afford the place by himself, ‘he makes good money’. If I hear someone (who doesn’t make good money) tell me that one more time, I swear I will drop dead. Gorgeous. Get it? Haha. He told me that he was so happy to have me there, his previous roommate is deaf and dumb, he was happy to have someone he could talk to, without having to use hand gestures and writing everything down. The previous roommate was a bubbly girl, she was very friendly, regardless of her disabilities, she looked like she was in my age group, she was chubby, like me, and all that. I found that rather interesting. She was a black girl. Speedy is a white older man, 56. Anyway, as we got to spend more time together, talking, I learnt that he always had a roommate, roommates always ended up being live-in girlfriends. Which somewhat explains the honeys and why he tried kissing me twice already. Speedy moves fast! He didn’t have anything nice to say about any of his exes (ex roommates/girlfriends), which made me wonder. The one who moved out before me had apparently moved in just before the end of the month, her story was very similar to mine. He told me she (like every girl he comes across) tried to ‘get’ with him. He wasn’t interested, he didn’t want to involve himself in a complicated relationship with a deaf and dumb person. YEAH RIGHT! And I’m Mother Theresa! Are you kidding me? The writing was so on the wall that it was the other way round and she wasn’t interested, he is always ready for a relationship. Thirstiest man I’ve ever met! One day while browsing through his pictures on his phone after he had asked to take a picture with me, I saw a ton of similar pictures of him with other black girls my age group, including the girl who moved out before I moved in.  It was creepy actually! What was I gonna do, I was already! All I had to do was spend as little time as possible at home, and start looking for another place. Let’s count how many times I moved last year alone;
January 2013 – Lived downtown LA with Elvis
February 2013 – Lived in Ontario with Mae
March 2013 – With the Chinese woman for a week (then back to Mae’s)
March 2013 – Salt Lake City (Utah with Cindy)
May 2013 – Salt Lake City with Laura
June 2013 – Grey Eyes for a few days
July 2013 – with The Roommate who owned the place
October 2013 – in a hostel in Hollywood
November 2013 – with Man in Hollywood
Novemver 2013 – with Speed in Hollywood
And already, I had to find another place to stay because it was clearly not going to work out with Speedy. Don’t you just envy me all that packing and moving and adjusting to new surroundings only to move out a month later? I know I would if I weren’t me.NOT!

Speed told me that I didn’t have to use the couch, I could sleep on his bed, he didn’t mind. I had just gotten the job with the client and was working full time, five times a week. I worked nights. Speed ‘worked’ day shift. He told me we could share the bed, especially seeing we slept different times of the day. I wasn’t interested in that idea. I move more than enough and have lived with enough people in the past year alone to know what will work and what won’t. That wasn’t going to work. At least not for both of us, maybe for him but I didn’t move in there for that kind of a relationship. I thanked him but politely refused his generous offer. How Chivalrous of him! He told me that he hadn’t watched TV since the previous girl moved in because she never left the house, she was always lying on the couch watching movies. His couch and his tv, she rented the couch from him. I don’t know what the terms were, so I wasn’t about to get involved. I told him that he should take one of the chairs from the dining room or buy another one because he tells us that we can use the couch when we moves in and is so fast to flip the scrip on us once we get there, it doesn’t make sense.

The couch is pretty long, It was probably 6ft, I’m  5’4”.  I told him to squeeze in below my knees when he wants to watch tv but I wasn’t going to sleep on his bed with his smelly s blankets. He seemed offended that I wouldn’t take him up on his offer. He thought it was the most normal thing ever for random strangers to share a bed. I didn’t. What do I know? I’m just a girl from Africa.

He played me some songs on the guitar and sang for me. His band does The Beatles covers. He’s not a bad singer, only problem is he suffer from shortness of breath, so when he sings, he sounds like he’s about to cough. He would come for a hug after serenading me. I didn’t feel comfortable with that, so I would be too tired anytime he wanted to play me songs. I just didn’t feel like bonding with him, not at that point of our relationship, not ever! I wanted to pay on the first of the following month, so that when the fit hits the shan (get it?), we wouldn’t have problems regarding dates, and times of moving out and all that. He told me it was month to month from the 1st of the month until the 1st of the following month. We talked about rent, I told him that I was waiting for my check from Utah, which I was, I told him I would pay him by the first for sure. He told me that I would have to pay for the last few days of November as well. I was like, uh, you told me that I didn’t have to, that’s why I moved in early, otherwise,let me move back to Man’s where I have already paid for November and move in on the 1st. What kind of a weirdo am I dealing with here?

He told me that he was attracted to me, he was happy that I moved in with him, he was convinced we would definitely make it work, blah blah blah, he told me how good a person he is and how he has taken care of previous women he has lived with. He was married three times, the third wife wrote him a letter after the split, he read it for me, I was so rolling my eyes as he read it, I really could care less. I needed him to read that letter for me like I needed  a hole in my head!

He asked what I thought of him. I told him, nothing. I wasn’t thinking of him. I really wasn’t. I also told him that I am not looking for a relationship, definitely not with a man I pay rent to, to me it’s like he wants me to pay him for sex and that just doesn’t make sex. He must think very highly of himself for him to expect me to pay him for sex. That was a first, even for me. And I’ve gone through some stuff in my life! He told me I misunderstood, he loves me blah blah blah, don’t care!

I was on my way to the back to withdraw rent money, I asked him about utilities, when he expected me to pay for them. He told me he wanted the whole amount at once, in advance. That didn’t make sense to me. I told him that it only made sense if I waited until he got the bill, showed it to me and then asked for my share. I don’t care what my share would be, I just want to see what I’m paying for. He got livid! He told me to move out, it wasn’t going to move out. He told me he would rather live in his car than have me pay for utilities when the bill came out. He told me I was a liar, I had agreed to pay for everything in the beginning of the month. I never did! I had asked him how much utilities usually amount to, he told me $50. I said ok. That’s it! He told me, I can’t fool him, he has a very good memory. I was lying to him, I was trying not to pay him the fifty bucks, blah blah blah, "move out NOW!"