Monday, December 15, 2014

Obama Care

Fortunately, I was able to get rid of Chris before walking into my apartment block main entrance. Whew!

We stood there for a minute, both wishing we were on the other side for different reasons. I stalled a little bit and bade him farewell until he finally got it through his thick skull that it was time to go by bye. 

I went upstairs to my apartment and continued packing. I must stay I've gotten really good at it, having moved 20 times in the past three years. Dang, I didn't realise it was that many times! That's not even including the one week stays here and there. My gosh! And to think I am making plans to move again! Aaaanyway!

I got a call from Rancho, remember him, the wife killer ? He was just calling to say hi, blah. I told him I wanted to see him. He half joked and asked if I was going to give him some. Of course, I said, yes. Clearly, I'm a slut, so let's play along! He was like, 'really?' I said, Sure, why not? He asked me to buy him soda, he was driving, he wanted to try and beat traffic, he would pay me back. Again, 'sure'! I didn't know if he was really going to come. Turns out, he really was on his way. That guy is serious about getting laid. I hadn't seen him in more than a month, maybe even more. He had lost weight, he looked a bit taller too. Not hotter, just less weight and more height, that's it! He couldn't look me in the eye. That is one guy, of all the people I've ever known in my life, who could never look me in the eye! I don't know if it's his thing or just me. He does have some kind of a lazy eye situation. That's not the issue though, cos none of his eyes make eye contact with me. 

We went to the apartment. He asked where my roommate was. As if to imply he was down for a threesome. Dude, come on now! You and I have never and will never even be engaged in a two some, why are you being so ambitious right now? I just told him she was at work, she would be back much later. He hopped into bed with his shoes on.I was like, really, right now? With your shoes on? He took the shoes off, and jumped back into bed, said he was feeling hot (it wasn't hot), he pulled his shirt all the way up, unhooked his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Dude meant business! He didn't drive all the way to Hollywood through LA Traffic to just hang out. He wanted to get laid! I pretended not to notice any of those shenanigans. I told him I was going to be moving to Vegas in a couple of weeks. I was fiddling on the laptop as I was talking to him. He, on the other hand was doing a strip tease behind me.

There is nothing more of a turn on, to me at least, than a guy who obviously just wants to get laid! Oh my goodness! That's like a guy who brings a condom when he comes to see you. Are you joking? Someone you have never ever slept with, brings a condom when he comes to hang out with you. F*ck you, asshole! I am not saying, don't be prepared but to come prepared to my f*cking house! Go be prepared elsewhere.This is not a whorehouse! What, you are so convinced I'm gonna give up the goods, you thought you were finally gonna use that ragged ass condom, you've had for years just before it expires? Fat chance! The last guy who did that to me in Georgia, had that condom opened up and stuffed in his mouth. Bringing a condom when you come over to my place, is like pushing my head towards your crotch when we make out. Like, WTF? Why are you trying to get head right now? We're just kissing, it ain't that serious? Take a cold shower, pervert! Just the thought of it, pisses me off. The thought that you think I want to suck your privates makes my stomach turn. You should feel honored I am letting you kiss me. Let's not get carried away now! Bye girl, bye!

After fiddling on the PC, and coincidentally playing music that Rancho likes. He was so surprised that a girl from Africa even knows those songs. I was surprised that a square like him knows music, like any songs at all.He tried to kiss me but I had already noticed that his teeth were kinda funky that night. Nothing is more of a turn off!So after fiddling on the PC, I turned around and said, 'let's go to the beach!' He was like, really? Am I gonna get laid when we come back? I said, sure! He got dressed. We headed downstairs to the car. I asked to pose for some selfies on our way out. He was driving the late wife's car, the SUV. We drove down Santa Monica Boulevard, that was street. It goes all the way to the Beach. I love night time drives. The lights make any town look amazing at night. I remember being out in Georgia for the first time at night. It looked amazing, we couldn't stop taking pictures. We were busy with training during the day for the entire week, so we could only go out at night. When we finally went out in the day time, we were like, uhm?!?!!??!!?

Rancho was yawning all the way to the beach, it wasn't cute at all. I was getting nervous. I've seen him sleep drive before. I wasn't in the mood for that again. And I felt bad because he still had to take me back home and then go to his place. As soon as we arrived to the weirdest, most darkest part of the beach, he made a U-turn and told me it's too late, let's go back. I said, sure. It was really late. I thought he was going to take us to Venice Beach where there's a lot going on. I didn't know he was gonna take us to that deserted part of town! On our way back, there was an accident, so we were stuck for quite a while. I felt bad, he was falling asleep. We made it back safely, in fact, he even took me to Mc Donald's for Ice cream. He's not cheap but that was the closest spot to where we were and he needed soda. I didn't buy it for him and he's diabetic so he gets thirsty a lot. When we got to my place, I wasted no time, I kissed him in the cheek, thanked him for coming and jumped out the car. Even Stevie Wonder could see that guy wasn't getting laid that night. 

He cursed at me via text on his way home. I didn't care. My roommate got home just after me. I told her about my adventure, we had a good laugh about it. She was busy going on dates, left, right and centre too. Even more so than me. I had slowed down. She was on Tinder, there's a lot of half naked guys on there. Not as many as on Scruff, the gay dating app. I saw that when I used to room with Jon. She had her bikini pics on there too, she's a model so, holler! Tinder is not my cuppa, that's one site or app, I've never been into. It seems more of a hook up site to me, kinda like Plenty of Fish. I want more than that. She went out with some cute guys, most of them are models. Tall, really hot guys. She's tall and really hot too, so it was only fair. One of the guys she went out with is a guy named Obama. She used to put them on speaker when they called. We would both discuss what she should say in conversations and had so much fun with them. She would laugh so uncontrollably, she had to hang up on them a few times and then lie and say she dropped her phone. I appreciated her naivety when it comes to dating. She would meet a guy, he would ask to go out, but then just before it was time to meet up, he would cancel. He wouldn't call for a week or more than all of a sudden call as he got home from work at night, and ask if she wanted to watch movies on Netflix at his place. Uhm, you have Netflix at your place, why do you have to go to a guy's place in the middle of the night to watch nextlix in bed when you can watch it in your own bed and not be harassed by some random stranger? Booty call alert! 

Some guys would ask her where she wants to go, I'd say for dinner of course! She would say, no, it's too soon. She just wants to talk, I be like then talk over dinner! Why not? People do it all the time! One guy was like, let's go to Starbucks. She asked what I thought about that. I told her she was asking the wrong girl because I don't drink coffee. Anyway, three of so times, with three different guys, they just went to the beach. It was cold and dark. I mean, it's romantic but it was a first date and the guy didn't even buy her a drink of water. When she told him she was thirsty, he stopped when they were near restrooms and told her he was going to wait for her while she went to drink water from the toilet sink haha! Big City dating! You meet all kinds of people. 

I told her she's too sweet for LA Dating, she needs to toughen up. A guy won't make you drink water from the toilet if they didn't think you would agree to that. By the way,  she didn't drink the water, they went to a fast food place and bought herself something. Obama is originally from Ghana. I think he was going to school in LA. Apparently, he's the shit in Ghana. I mean, the guy is a looker. I've seen his pictures. One night, Carly was talking about him. She hadn't heard from him in a while, he had cancelled on her last minute and then all of a sudden, wanted to watch Netflix in bed with her. I was like, call him. We'll figure out what we're gonna say when he picks up. Nobody every uses the calling part of cellphones anymore. All everyone does is text. Exceptfor Chris. The one person I wish would rather text than call. Or leave me alone, period. Carly called Obama, He picked up and sounded happy to hear from her. In our improvised conversation,  I told her to invite him to her upcoming birthday party at our place. Her birthday had already passed and she wasn't going to throw a party at all. Whatever, who is going to take a guy named Obama seriously? Especially after he practically stood you up? He was so excited, he told her he would definitely be there, and then all of a sudden, said the most absurd thing, that nobody every says in this century. He said, Alright! Alright! Alright! With such gusto too. Like who says that? I literally  went into shock! I looked at Carly like, how the f*ck old is this dude? She burst out laughing and had to hang up because we weren't about to stop laughing anytime soon. He called her right back, but she wasn't in a position to speak, still laughing! When she was ready, she asked me to please not say anything ever again when she is on the phone. I was like, but I didn't say anything, I just looked at you in utter amazement, that's all. She said, ok, then don't look at me at all. Haha. She called him back, they made final arrangements about the non party. Towards the end of the conversation,  I could tell they were wrapping it up, I whispered, Alright, Alright, Alright. She said it to him. HE SAID IT RIGHT BACK! What a doofus! He didn't know we were making fun of him. Poor Guy. That became our inside joke. Alright x3.

Rancho got over himself, we talked some more via calls and texts after that sexless booty call. He told me that he would be going on a family vacation to Vegas on the same day I was going to move to Vegas. I half jokingly asked him to take with him some of my luggage. He told me that they would be using his sister's rented car. Blah blah blah, white noise. He is always doing something with his'family'. If I were his girl, I probably would have some kind of a problem with that. But I'm not, so woulda, coulda, shoulda. He told me that he wanted to meet up that weekend. I agreed. I was going to arrive noon-ish, so would they, so we would have all day to figure out what, where and why and everything in between. He comes to Vegas quite often to gamble and apparently he wins a lot too. Nice for him.

I told Daniel that I would be moving to Vegas. He wouldn't believe me. He told me that I 'wouldn't move to Vegas, there's nothing to do there'. He told me he refused to believe me. Guess what? Six months later, he still can't believe I'm here. Talk about Doubting Thomas. What's next? Is he gonna wanna put his finger in my side and see the nail marks in my hands? John 20:24-29. What? I know the Holy Book! I may not look it, but I know my sh*t!

I told all my friends about my pending move and started saying my goodbyes to my close friends individually. Most of the people I told about moving, would turn around and tell me how they need to move to Vegas, how they have always wanted to move to another city altogether and the reasons why they have always wanted to do it. They would tell me that they think it's time for them to finally do it. Time for them to move to Vegas. It got to the point where I stopped telling people I wasn't that close with because even the ones I was close to were doing this, I didn't need to hear it from people I didn't care that much for. People were asking to add me on Facebook or for my number. They wanted me to tell them when I have settled down in Vegas so they can come visit to see if it's for them. Some would tell me to call them when I have settled so they would move here. If I need a roommate, to count them in. I was dying!

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Can You Say Xhosa?

Of course, I never called nor texted to check if he got home alright. Why should I? He knows where he lives, he's lived there longer than he's known me. Why am I checking up on a 45 year old man? N word please!

I started looking at job opportunities and accommodation options in Vegas, getting myself ready for the move. I was excited! Something to look forward to! I told Carly that I was going to move out. She was really cool about it! She started looking for a new apartment as well. Like me, She didn't want to room again. She wanted to live downtown LA, she always has. She says she loves the architecture over there. I don't blame her. It's pretty over there, also, it's downtown, so it's pretty central no matter where you need to go. She was always looking for a job, a second job. When she first moved in, she had told me that her dad was paying her rent and that she moved to LA to pursue modeling and go to school. In the two months that I roomed with her, I gave her modeling links that I got from my friends and she never followed up on any of them. She kept asking me the same thing, she would ask for the contact details more than once. I eventually deleted them and told her to save them. If she didn't, she should please not ask me the same thing again. Geez!

She was on the phone all day, everyday, applying for jobs, 'Hi, is the hiring manager available?' I would even tease her with that line. She told me she wasn't sure what she wanted to do at school. She has always wanted to be an Architect but she loves to help people. I was like, wait, what exactly do you mean by that? I mean this chick is one of the most arrogant people I know. I don't know why she thought she is down to earth and loves to help people. She told me she's always been that person, she will give someone the shirt off her back. I still don't get what she meant by that, but moving right along... Also if she's such a person helper, help me clean up the mess after yourself! Charity does begin at home after all, doesn't it? She also wants to be some kind of a designer, she would love to be an interior decorator. I tried to help her make some of the decisions and also told her instead of going where the money is, she needs to do something she loves, the money will automatically follow. I don't think she was ready to register for anything. She was so excited with the possibilities to make money there and then that anything else would follow. I told her that getting two full time jobs was going to take time away from the main reasons she moved there, school and modeling. Like, when was she gonna have the time? She started crying, you know that deep belly cry? I was like are you ok, girl? Why are you crying? I genuinely wanted to know which part of what we were talking about brought her to tears. When she was done crying, I asked her when her period was due. She told me she wasn't sure. It started that night. I told her, to watch the hormones, they can mess you up and make you extra emotional. I know from experience. I have broken up with boyfriends because of the emotions that come with pms. It has gotten to the point where I try to distance myself from the people who don't quite know me before my period, because they will think that that's who I truly am. Some 'men' don't care, they will get emotional right there with you, in fact, they will outPMS you! You be like, boo, do you have a vagina too? What The hell!!!!!!

Chris texted me day after we met. He wanted to know if he could call me. If you're gonna call, call, if you're gonna text, text. Please don't ask for permission. This is redundant. 'Permission to approach the bench, you're honor?' this is not court. Seriously! He called first thing in the morning. It couldn't have been urgent. I hardly know the guy! I picked up anyway, intending to keep it short. He stutters some. Every time he picks up the phone, he goes, 'ha ha haha, ha, hi, Brook' I wish he would stop at the first ha. But then, I also wish I were skinny and married to a 6ft5 tall guy with blue eyes and long dark hair. Now what? He was so excited! He told me that he got me a job. I never told this guy I was unemployed! Apparently,  talked to his pastor who owns a bakery that is right next door to his Chinese church. He wants me to go for an interview. He says he told him that I am a good friend of his from South Africa, South Africa, South Africa. The pastor is excited to meet me. I thought to myself, you're nuts if you think even if I were unemployed, I would take this job! Like I want to work right next door to the church you go to all the time, so that I can be trapped behind the counter for you to come and use and abuse me. I'd be dammed! Plus, the pastor will expect me to go to church too, maybe that's going to be part of the contract.

Chris had invited me to his church. He told me he gets picked up by noon, to be ready around the same time, they would pick me up blah blah blah blah, nobody cares! I told him, sorry, I wasn't interested and asked him never to invite me to church again. This guy sure is intelligent for someone who is not! he has a way of coming up with the best plans that at first glance may seem like nothing, or even as if they are going to benefit you when really it's all about him. I told him that, I wasn't going to talk too long on the phone, let's continue via text. I was sick of his voice. There's something about that guy that makes people wish him dead. I feel sorry for him, can you imagine if you were repelling people? That's the worst! No amount of Chinese Church going will fix that for him. Maybe if he toned down the talking and the spitting. Maybe! He told me that he talked to his other friend who own a restaurant. They are Ethiopian, they love Africans. They are very nice people, they will hire me, if I am willing to meet up with them. I told him that's very nice, but I will have to think about it. He said he was looking for his old roommate's number, he wants to ask him for his ex boss' number. He will talk to that boss, the boss was from Nigeria and they are in good terms. He was going to ask him to hire me as well. I said,ok, that's it! I only just met you and you've told everyone about me! Please stop telling your people about me! I never asked you to help me find a job. I appreciate the gesture but I feel so overwhelmed right now! This is ridiculous! He told me he knows what it's like when someone is new in the States, he's been in my shoes. I'm like what shoes? You don't know anything about me! You are too self involved to learn anything about me. You just want to make yourself feel better by hooking me up with a job, something I will probably have to pay for for the rest of my life. No thanks, Chris!

He told me he knows people that can help me with accommodation. I was like is this dude high? I have a job AND a place to stay! What makes him think I was destitute? He had told me in one of those first meeting, I think the very first time we met, that he had been homeless for six years when he was sleeping on the bus. He was working in construction. I asked him why he was homeless, construction workers make a lot of money. More money than some office jobs. He wasn't listening, he just wanted to indulge in self pity, he went on about how Mexican guys were so mean to him. They called him Gorilla, they used to abuse him physically and verbally. I am surprised they never abused him sexually, he sure sounds like he was molested. With all due respect to survivors of sexual abuse. He has also told that when he was in South Africa, he had only slept with one woman. I don't know how much he had to pay that woman or if it was really a woman, the jury is still out on that. he was 30 years old when he moved to The US.

While we were at El Pollo Loco, he told me, out loud, in front of all those diners that he finds it hard to find a woman, even if it's just someone to have sex with . "That's why I just pleasure myself. When I say pleasure myself, I mean masturbate. It's better to masturbate. It's better to masturbate. It's better to masturbate" As they say in Afrikaans, Here, help my! (Lord help me!) What kind of over sharing is that? I don't want to hear that from someone I met three days prior! I don't wanna hear that from him EVER!

After a number of days, he texted me again and asked when he could arrange for me to meet his pastor. I told him that that won't work as I am moving to Vegas. He asked me if he can come visit me. I told him I hadn't even moved yet, I don't know what my living arrangement will be like in Vegas, so I can't tell yet, let me first move before you suffocate me with your demands! He told me that if I had extra things that I didn't want to take with me or couldn't, I could store them at his place. I was welcome to come spend weekends or a couple of days at his place when I have moved. I thanked him for his offers, and thought maybe I will take him up on the storage one. We met up a couple weeks before my move. By then, I was already living off my suitcase cos the wardrobe was kaput. He wanted to have lunch, well, he wanted to spend the entire day together, he arranged that we meet early. I told him I was packing, I was going to be available for a couple of hours that afternoon. I would also like to have a look at his place and see if and where I would be able to store my stuff. We went to a Sushi restaurant down the road from his place. He speaks some Korean, Japanese, French, English, Zulu, Sotho, Xhosa, that I know of. Oh and some Spanish. This restaurant has Japanese and Korean staff. I think they know him. I could tell by how they rolled their eyes as soon as we walked in. #oops.

He greeted them in some foreign language, they forged a smile and asked if they could help with anything. I needed to use the restroom, so I quickly told him what I was going to have and told him I would be right back. He was like, wait, wait Brook, wait Brook, wait Brook! Mam, may I please have the key to your restroom? Then he looked at me and told me that here in America, they don't say toilet, they say restroom. Then he looked at the ladies and told them that I am his friend from South Africa, we are from South Africa, South Africa. My friend is Xhosa, Can you say Xhosa? Xhosa! Xho-sa, can you say Xhosa? One of the ladies rolled her eyes and helped the next customer. The other one looked at me, I shrugged and asked for the toilet key. She told me they don't lock the toilet. Chris interrupted and asked her where the toilet is. I would have been embarrassed but why should I? I'm not the one acting an impatient, forward fool.

I went to the restroom, when I got back, before I could utter a word, Chris, who was still standing by the counter, said, 'I haven't ordered yet. I wanted to wait for you! I wanted to wait for you! I wanted to wait for you!' I asked why he wanted to wait for me, I had told him what I wanted. He told me he knows I did but he though he would wait for me in case that's not what I wanted. He asked me to take my time and make my choice. I tell ya, I was dying! My insides were turning! This is the guy that will ruin your appetite all day, everyday. Can you imagine! He asked me if I wanted to eat at the restaurant or take the food home. I told him I wanted to take it home. My home. By myself. I was ready to go. While we were waiting for the food. I told him let's sit. I didn't want to be in front of those ladies anymore. I felt bad for them.

He told me he was thirsty. He got up. There's a water cooler right by the counter with paper cups and napkins. It's obviously a self service situation. But not to Chris! He waited until someone was available to help him. He stood right in front of the water and the cups and asked them for water. He tried to say it in Japanese or Korean, who knows? They rolled their eyes and pointed at the water cooler. I was dying. He got himself some water, then came back to the table. We waited what felt like forever for the food. Simple because of the person I was with. He came closer, (I moved further), he tried whispering and pointed at an Asian lady across the restaurant. There are mirrors on the restaurant walls so the lady could see us. Even if she couldn't, what about other patrons who can see this strange man pointing at this poor woman. I was like, OMG don't point! Don't ever point! He said, oh okay, then went on to tell me that he has a crush on that girl. He though she was beautiful. I said, why don't you go tell her? He said, well she has a ring on but that has never stopped women. Women are very promiscuous, they sleep with other men on the side, even though the are married. I said, please, enough of this offensive talk. Try and be quiet until we leave. They called our order, we were out of there.

He went on and on on the way to his place. I lost it! I told him he needs to not talk for a while, I had had enough of his spitting. I even asked him if people don't tell him that he spits A LOT hen he talks. He just said, oh ok. We got to his place. It was my first time.He showed me around. He also asked me if it looks clean. He knows it does. He told me he cleans for four hours every Thursday. You know, because I need to know that. He showed me all his storage space. He has ample. I was happy about that. I told him, I had to head back, he asked me to sit and eat with him. He was literally standing on top of me, telling me how to eat Sushi, and how to dip shrimp into dip, as if I don't know that. I covered up the food and asked him to please walk away before he spat all over it, because if he talks while he is on top of me, he will spit on the food and I will throw it all away and he will have wasted his money. He said, oh ok. That's what I like about you, you are very upfront. I told him, soon he will hate the very thing he thinks he likes about me. I mean, how can you say you like that someone is being rude to you in your own home? He was lying, just sucking up.

He talked and spat on the food, I asked if she wanted it because I was no longer going to eat it. He told me he has his own food. I threw it away. Then I used that awkward moment to leave. He walked me out. Fck, there's no winning! He begged me to order something from another restaurant on our way to the bus stop. I told him, it was really ok, because he was going to spit on that too, so what's the point. He wouldn't let it go, until we went in there. I ordered some chicken, then he said let's sit there and eat. Fuck, I'm getting a headache just going over this. Do you have a headache yet? We sat there. I had ordered three small chicken pieces, and two sides. He tried to cover up his mouth as he was talking. Literally! And I could see he wanted me to praise him for doing that for me. No, dude! Nobody is going to give you an award for something that we are all expected to do. You don't spit on people! That's a thing! You're not getting a star on Hollywood's walk of fame because you managed to not spit on me for 2 seconds. He kept saying, see, I covered up my mouth so I don't spit on you. I asked if he wanted to make a bet. He told me he's a Christian, he doesn't make bets. Plus, he has a lot of money in the bank, it wouldn't be fair on me for us to make a bet, I wouldn't afford to pay him. Can I get a Hahahahaha?

I timed him. Within the first 20second, I saw a big drop of spit escape his mouth, flying in slow motion onto my beans. It was so big, it probably had a reflection of the entire restaurant. Soon as it landed.I told him, I'm done! I threw the food away. Sorry mom, I know there are starving kids in Ethiopia, but Even they wouldn't want to eat Chris' spit drenched food. I said, let's go! He said, oh, I am so sorry Brook. I feel so bad. I don't think you care about my feeling, why are you doing this to me? You can see I'm trying. I told him I can, and I appreciate it, but that doesn't mean I should eat spit. How about my wishes of not having him spit on me? He told me it's a problem he was born with. I said, well, I can't help you there. All you have to do is slow the fck down and swallow in between words. It can't be that hard. Outside the restaurant, I bade him farewell. He asked if he could come help me pack. I told him that wouldn't be an idea (because I can't stand his ass and have been trying to get away from him since we meet), because I need to know where I have put things, especially seeing as I wasn't taking everything with me. He told me he would ask be before he put things away where I wanted them.I mean why is this dude insisting on coming to touch my underwear? Yuck! I told him that would be a waste of time and where was he gonna sit? There is no room for guests and I didn't want my roommate to come home and find him sitting on her bed. She came up with all kinds of ideas. I thought you know what, this one you ain't gonna win, Lucky Number Seven! He's so used to ramming himself down people's throats, he expected to come on top in that one too. No pun intended :). I wasn't going to have him come to my place at all. It was not gonna happen!

Halfway to the bust stop, he told me he has a secret he would like to tell me. I looked at him and he looked scary. There was a look I couldn't describe in his face. I though he was going to tell me he killed the last person who said no to him. I asked if it could wait, I didn't want to miss the bus. He told me it couldn't. Fck! He Came close (I moved away), he tried to whisper that he has a problem. He gets really depressed, and when he does, He feels like killing himself. he didn't feel like being alone that day. He thought we were going to spend the day together, please can he come home with me.I told him, that wasn't a secret. A lot of people get depressed. I had a lot I needed to do at home. I really needed to go home. I ran towards the bus stop, he was side by side with me. I asked where he was going. He told me he would take me as far as the bus stop. As soon as we got there, the bus arrived. Thank you stars! He asked if I had a bus pass. I told him, I did. He got on the bus with me. Whew!

I asked where he was going. He told me he was going to come back with the next bus. He wanted to spend more time with me. I thought to myself, I might have to come up with another plan for my stuff. This ain't gonna work! I need to cut ties. On the bus, he came close and was telling me about a woman that has been using him for sex. I was like, seriously, Chris, I can't right now! He wouldn't stop. He told me that the girl taught him how to perform oral sex. You know that was not for his F*cking benefit. The girl was trying was trying to get her some, that's all! He spent a lot of money on that African American woman, who won't work but lives in a nice neighborhood. Apparently, she's in West Hollywood. She uses man, blah blah blah, she's a slut, no, she's not a slut, she's a whore, she's a whore, she's a whore. I said, that's rude and disrespectful. How dare you speak ill of the only person who will get your ass laid? You should worship the ground this woman walks on. Time to get off! I jumped up and was right by the door before the bus was even close to my stop. He jumped right up with me. We got off together. I got off, ran across, he ran with me. F*ck! I lived right by the bus stop, so it was about to get interesting. I crossed the street, he was supposed to cross one more time to go to the bus stop, but he didn't. He followed to the door...

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Everybody Hates Chris

After my poor wardrobe gave in and fell on top of me in the middle of the night, I got up and got it off my bed. It was a bit of a struggle. Carly was, she also heard the bang sound. She watched me struggle with the wardrobe. When I asked her to help me, she apologies and told me she was still half asleep, she should've gotten up and helped earlier. Excuses, Schmexcuses. But at least she got up and helped. The following day, she asked what I was planning to do about the situation. She was willing to pitch in in getting a new one. I told her it was ok, I was just going to keep  my stuff in suitcase until my mind was made up. I am not a big fan of doing the same thing over and over again. Unless I like it. I told her that the idea of buying something I had already bought only a few months prior. wasn't making me wet down there. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was going to move, my mind was made up. I needed time to tell her. We had agreed on at least two weeks' notice, I had ample time. I wanted to giver her more than two weeks though just because I knew way earlier, the more time I gave her, the better her chances of finding something she liked. It was only fair.

I went on with life as usual; cleaning up after Carly, begging her to empty the pot when she was done using it for days before I had a chance to use it. That soon got tired though. One day, I got so fed up of watching this stranger ruin my valuables that while she was at work, I cleaned the apartment, as usual, washed the pot, cooked and left food in there. She wasn't going to use it if it was occupied. she had her own shelf of food and her side of the cupboard in the kitchen, all that was packed with food that needed to be cooked. I didn't care. So did I, and she didn't seem to care. Buy your own shit, bitch! I had been nagging her for weeks to take care of things around the house because we were not sharing everything like that but she thought she could bat her eyebrows through it all. 

One day, she came home with a new pan. It was a cute, big, frying pan that was blue on the outside and blue on the in. It was on sale because it had a small dent. Good idea! It would have been a better idea if she had bought herself one with a lid, but what do I know, right? She fried with that pan and would leave it in the sink for days. I had to be the one moving it around so I can have access to the sink etc. There was no winning with this girl! One day, I asked her if she ever does any cleaning back home. She responded, immediately, YES! OF COURSE! I do all the cleaning at home! I was like, sssuuurrrrreeee! She told me unequivocally that she really does! She told me that she knew that she had been so busy that she hadn't had a chance to do any cleaning at the apartment but keeps a clean house back home. I rolled my eyes and moved on with my life. It wasn't about what she would reply but my way of telling her that I have noticed that she doesn't lift a finger. Ever! That was it! She batted her eyebrows and promised to clean one of the days. I asked her, sarcastically, to please not do me any favors. 

I mean, do it for yourself! Right? Don't do it for me! I've been doing the cleaning in that apartment since rooming with Jon. It was hilarious how Carly would never sit on the toilet seat at our apartment as if she didn't want to catch anything from me, meanwhile she never lifted a finger around the house. Are you f*cking kidding me? Who are you trying to insult by that? Sit your ass down, no pun intended! I ain't trying to catch something from sitting on your pee droplets! WTF! Sometimes I would wish that she would end up, by some twist of fate, rooming with Jon. See how they make it out alive.

I put in my 30 day notice with the ladies downstairs. That was a good day! I had been wanting to move out of that place but couldn't get myself to do it for whatever reason. Mainly because I didn't see myself being someone's roommate without having my name on the lease because then they think they are the boss of you. Bit by bit, I packed my stuff in suitcases, making sure to put things I use daily in the same suitcase and things I didn't in others. There's this 'friend' of mine from South Africa. We met at the bust stop on Sunset Boulevard. I had just picked up my check, on my way home, while waiting for the bus, I noticed that the guy standing next to me, talking on the phone was speaking with a South African accent. Being the nice, social person that I am; as soon as she was done talking on the phone, I asked where he is from. He responded, in an almost childlike manner, "I, I, I, I am from Johannesburg, Johannesburg, South Africa, South Africa!" I asked where in Johannesburg. He asked if I have ever been. I told him I've lived in Johannesburg. I wondered if the guy has some mental situation going on or what. He looks 60 but has a very childlike manner of talking, he sounds like he could be anywhere between 3 and 5 years old. Quite the mix!

Turned out, we were going the same direction! He took over the conversation and started asking me all the questions. He talks quite loud and spits A LOT. There was a lot of duck and diving from my side. Where's an umbrella when you need it? And I think I am always prepared! We got on the bus, he was going on and on about how American Americans are lazy, Asians are hard workers, therefore he wants an Asian wife, that's why he has been going to a Chinese Church for the past two years. He went on and on and on about all this offensive talk on the bus. It felt like my stop was moving further and further. I was on the way to the mall to grab a few things. He got off  with me. I was happy to be rid of him but no such luck. I was like, I thought you said you are going straight home? He told me he was but was enjoying my company, then he came closer and closer, I thought he was about to molest me there and then! The closer he got, the further I moved. I wondered if he had any idea he was making me feel uncomfortable. 

We'll call him Chris. Suddenly, the mood changed, he looked me deep in the eye and told me that I'm beautiful. I thanked him and backed the f*ck up some more! He asked if I have a boyfriend. I told him I was seeing someone. He wanted to know more about the guy. I told him a bit about Daniel. Just enough for him to know that there was someone in my life and even if there wasn't, he was never going to be that someone, no matter how much he spat on me. He told me that he would be honored to have a girl like me in his life, I seem to have a good head on my shoulders and I was beautiful. I said, 'problem is, I'm not Asian, huh?' He told me he didn't care about that. We are from the same country and that matters more than being Asian. At that point, I was so done, I felt like he was suffocating me. I told him  I really had to go. He told me he really had to go because he had work that night. As if I didn't just tell him I had to go. He was making it seem like he is the one who ended the conversation. I didn't care, anything to get this man to walk away. He had already asked for my number, there was no undoing that.

He walked away, like an 18 month old. You know how they walk and look like they're about to fall flat on their cute little faces? Well, only difference is,... you know what the difference is! 

I couldn't wait to go home and take a shower. I didn't have enough soap to get all that spit off me. In my head, I was still not sure if that really happened or if I made it up all up in my head. I wasn't sure if someone like Chris really does exist. Like, pinch me! I got my stuff and headed on home. 

I got a text from Chris that night, he told me what a pleasure it was to meet me. He wanted to meet up the following day or the day after. Those were his off days. I told him that I would let him know. I worked weekdays and I got booked a day in advance, sometimes the night before. I liked to keep my weekdays clear. Plus I wasn't looking to meet up with that man anytime soon! He insisted that we meet. It seemed almost as if I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't care. I had told him what's up and that was that! When he texts, just like when he talks, he never stops. 

I worked the following day. He texted me and told me how he was going to buy himself a TV with a DVD player. He told me that here in America they have such tv's. He has been here for 14 years, so he thinks he is the President of America. I love it when someone finds out that I'm from another country and all of a sudden, they want to be my tour guide. How do they think I have managed all along without their spitting asses? come on now! Don't be that guy! Nobody likes that guy! 

Tuesday evening, after work, I had just gotten off the bus, walking towards from my apartment, I got a call from Chris. He was on the bus on Santa Monica Boulevard. I had told him that I lived on Santa Monica, so he asked if he could get off by my place and see me. Oh my gosh, I am so looking forward to getting home. I was so close, I could taste it. Now I have to meet up with this person. I thought to myself, this dude is not gonna give up! Let's just get this over and done with! I told him sure, I told him where to get off. The roads were blocked, his bus was going to detour, blah blah blah, he kept calling to update me, 'ha, ha ha, hi Brook, I am at blah blah blah now, still on my way to you!' As if this was some romantic rendezvous. Ugh, we finally met up. Looking at him walking towards me, I wondered again. What is wrong with this guy? He almost looks like the guy who will kill you, bury you in his apartment and go on with his life like nothing happened. His thick, round, glasses didn't help either. He asked if I wanted to go eat dinner at this Indian restaurant far, far away. I told him that I only had an hour to spare, starting from the time he arrived, so I didn't want to go to far away. 

I don't know if he pays attention to what I say, once he starts talking, he gets into this zone where it's all about him and he will talking until, The Good Lord grants you a small miracle and you're able to get rid of him. When you're gonna spend time with him, which is not advisable, it's all about survival. He went on and on about the Indian restaurant. Don't get me wrong, I love Indian. In fact, it's my favorite cuisine, having lived in Durban for five years, but I didn't want to spend any more time with him than I had to. I was happy just standing with him by the traffic light for a hour so that when it's time for me to go home, I can walk a few feet and be at my place, take a quick/long shower and be done with it. he was so gung ho about going to eat, I ended up giving in. It was all about him getting what he wants no matter what. That's it!

He told me about this Japanese restaurant two blocks from my place. I told him I wasn't going to go there. I had already been there, I had been there and didn't want to relieve my experiences that ended me up there(story for another day). When I talk, he replies, oohh okay! While I'm still talking. You know he's not paying attention! Then he goes on and on about what he wants to talk about, usually something about African Americans being lazy and Asians being hard workers, and Obama. It's always the same thing. He will cut you off and talk about the same thing he had already talked about to you in person, over the phone and via text. The most frustrating thing ever!

We ended up going to El Pollo (pronounced Poyo) loco. I ordered Chicken and fries. He ordered a Burrito and chicken and fries. He was talking nonstop in English, I kept asking him to at least speak Zulu, Xhosa, hell, I could even try and understand Sotho, anything for him not to keep saying offensive things to people in public! He would say the first word in Xhosa and the rest of the thing in English. Father, help me! We went to sit down, turned out, they gave us one chicken and fries. I started eating. I had to eat fast before he settled down, you know he was gonna spit all over that meal! He asked where the rest of the food was. I told him they didn't give it to us. Oh Lord! He started screaming from across the restaurant, Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! (remember everything has to be said three times), you didn't, you didn't, you didn't.... everyone at the restaurant was looking at him. They had been eyeing him from the time we got there for all the offensive things he had been saying out loud anyway. He walked to the counter, I gobbled down the food, really not even enjoying it, because I didn't want to be there. When he got back to the table, I literally had both my hands over my plate, covering it up from the shower of spit falling from the cloud that is his mouth. trust me, It's worse than you can imagine! He was talking about how he has been in the US for 14 years, the entire story of his life. How tough he has had it and how he has no friends (that one's obvious but ok, keep going...), the only people who pretend to be his friends only want to use him. There's a 74 year old woman that he had dated, she turned out to be a user. (Duh!), and another older woman who turned out to be users too. Some people, he moves into his apartment, then they try to have him kicked out blah blah blah blah, problem after problem! I get having problems, trust me, nobody gets it better than me, but please! For the love of God, don't lead with that! First figure out if someone even wants to spend time with you, don't hijack them at gunpoint and then ram your problems down their throat! I recorded some of his yapping. I had to!

I asked them to pack some of my food. I took it home. Carly was hungry, I gave it to her. When Chris' hour was up, I got up, no warning, no nothing, LET'S GO! It's time! He asked if he could finish his food. This dude ordered the entire restaurant, now he's talking non stop, he will never finish eating. I told him, I had to leave, he's more than willing to stay behind and finish his meal. I had told him all I had to spare was an hour, and that was it. Oh please, blah blah blah, you know I ended up giving in. Because it's all about Chris! We finally left. We walked back to my apartment, when we got there, he tried to continue yapping, I was like, bye! He tried to give me a hug. But it's one of those where you tilt to the left, he tilts to the left too, so then you decide to tilt to the right, cos you're not trying to make out with him, he follows suit, at the end of it all, I was just like, bye, Chris. He said, Bye Brook (kinda like a three year old girl would say), it was nice to hang out with you. We should do it again (yeah right, I need that like I need a hole in the head), Don't you wanna walk me to the bus stop? I told him, no, I don't want to walk you to the bus stop! We've done enough walking. I was thinking that if I had done that, he would have walked me back to my apartment, then begged me (read: forced) me to walk him back. F*ck off! What the hell is this? Get outta here! What kind of a creature are you, trying to spoil yourself at my expense? You're not my fiance! This is not our honeymoon! Disappear already!

As he was walking away, he yelled, "call me later and ask if  I got home safely!"

Monday, November 24, 2014

Back In Town Again

We had a nice drive back to California; Dan and I. I had told him, in passing, about my favorite artists and he took notes from when we listened to music in my hotel room. He took out CD's of artists that sound like my favorites. He told me he put them aside because he thought I might enjoy them. That was very thoughtful of him! I didn't know who some of those artists were but I recognised their famous hits when I heard them. My favorite song from all of his music, which  I still listen to this day, is Mazzy Starr-Blue light. Here's the link to it if you're like to check it out. Let me know what you think. I'm into Alternative music like that. Katie Perri, Ingrid Michaelson, Katie Melua, Lorde, Jack Savoretri, Glen Hansard, Amber Rubarth Jason Mras, to name a few. What are you listening to right now?

We talked, flirted, listened to more music, stopped just less than two hours away from LA for brunch. I don't eat when I travel, so I let him eat while I gawked at him. Before I knew it, we had arrived in Hollywood. Time to kiss Dan goodbye. I got sad. I am not the best at goodbyes. Plus I had just got back from the best vacation with a guy I like. He told me he didn't want to make out otherwise he wasn't going to want to leave. He gave me a peck on the lips and off he went to San Diego. I asked him to call me when he got home so that I would know that he got home safely. He did, that evening. It took him probably five to six hours to drive home. It's normally a three hour drive. Poor thing got stuck in traffic. I felt kinda bad. He seemed fine though. Dan is a pretty upbeat guy. That's a good thing.

I dragged my new suitcase to my apartment. Time to get hustling again. I had to start applying for jobs for the following day. What can you do? That's the name of the game! I walked into the apartment and found Carly's giant suitcase in the middle of the apartment, overflowing with stuff. I think there was another suitcase inside. A pregnant suitcase? There was hardly space to maneouvre but what are you gonna do? It's my first day back, I just had a massage the previous day, I wasn't going to waste all that because someone is acting like a child. Actually,. I've seen five year old act better.

I unpacked my small suitcase, Got on the internet, applied, applied. I think I got booked on one or two shows for the following day. My good friend, the one who lives in her car was in Hollywood, doing background on a show. She wanted to meet up. We met just outside my apartment and walked to Mc Donald's. It's about three blocks from my then apartment. It was nice to see her and she was really excited to hear about my trip. She told me to bring the camera, she wanted to see pictures as well. My friends and I make roughly the same amount of money hustling in Hollywood but I've noticed that most of my good friends from Hollywood always offer to pay when we go out. What a bunch of classy ladies! Of course, I insist on paying as well, sometimes  I end up paying at least for my food or they just won't let me pay. Most of my good friends are not Americans. Just putting that out there.

Cola, that's what we'll call this particular friend. I may have mentioned her before, she is in her late fifties, is from Eastern Europe and lives in her car by the beach. The main reason for her living in her car? Other than not wanting to share with roommates? She needs to be by the beach. She loves the beach so much, if she can't afford an apartment by the beach, then she will live in her van. I think it's been two years now since she started living in her car. She's a bit of a free spirit. She's lived in a hostel for a year or so. She worked at the hostel in exchange for accommodation. She says she loved it. She has fond memories of that experience. I don't blame her. I have applied at a number of hostels myself, both in Hollywood and by the beach. I've stayed in many a hostel. I think I'd be the perfect person to work there. Thing about them is, they don't want to pay you in cash, they want you to live there for free in exchange. I didn't want that. I don't want to permanently have 10 roommates. I think that can get tired. Fast. Can you imagine?

Cola and I spent about two hours together that night: about an hour at Mc Donald's and then we walked back. I walked her halfway between where she had parked her car by the studios and my apartment but we stopped and talked for another hour. She has an interesting life that one! She likes to hang out at this coffee shop, not far from where she parks her van, they have free wi-fi over there. I have hung out with her there. She also has her regular spots where she goes on certain days of the week for open mic. She doesn't perform but she likes music, so she goes to these bars. I've gone to one or two with her in Santa Monica. We had a hell of a time! One of the bands and I subsequently became Facebook friends. It's a duo from Australia, one guy plays the guitar, the other a ukulele. They are so good! Another guy's name is Mike, he is a seasoned musician.  An amazing one man show. I meant to go to one of his shows but never got to.

Cola is sweet, when we hang out, we have the best times. We laugh a lot. She has the cutest smiles. She used to be a dancer, ballet and all that. She has done some adventurous things in her life, I enjoy her stories and she is just a very nice person. After chatting up a storm that evening, I ran back to my apartment. It was freezing by then! I think my roommate was away for the weekend. I didn't get to see her for another couple of days. We chatted often via text. She was one of my better roommates. The chick who was never there, was probably the best cos, well, she was never there! I had the place to myself. I didn't quite like her aura though, when she did come by. Her parents were the best though. Laura was the best roommate! There was never an awkward moment between she and I. Well, not one that she instigated. Other than the drug doing and selling, which was the reason I left and of course, she never paid me back my deposit but she was a nice chick to chill with. Just don't go shopping with her because she will shoplift and potentially get you into trouble. She's a well meaning drug dealing shoplifter. She kept the apartment clean and it was the nicest smelling apartment I ever lived in.

The following week, while Carly was working, I took it upon myself to tidy up her stuff. Someone had to! I sorted her clothes according to dresses, tops, bottoms, the works, to make it easy for her. I put her empty suitcases under her bed. When she got home that night, she was shocked. She hugged me and thanked me so much. She was like omg, I left work early tonight, do you wanna go out? I owe you! She called her friend and told her how amazing I am for what I did for her. It was nice to be appreciated. You know? She was like we have to go out. I told her, no we don't. She was like well, what are we gonna do? I owe you for your birthday and now this. I was like ugh, ok, let's go. We got ready, took the bus to the center of Hollywood, on Sunset boulevard. We couldn't make up our minds as to where exactly we were going to go. Well, I could, she couldn't. I was ok with going to the first joint that was open, eat, drink, go home. We grabbed Frozen yogurt aka FroYo. It was some kind of a big Hollywood event. I think it was Coachella. Everyone was out of town. We went to a few restaurants/bars, there was nothing going on. Carly made a few phone calls. Calls I never thought were ok to make to businesses, talking about, hey, what's the vibe there tonight? How much are your meals? Do you have happy our? Meh, how about your neighbors, what do they serve? Do they have happy hour? Can you recommend a restaurant I should go to (other than yours?). People were pretty nice to her and answered all her questions. She's a waitress, maybe she knows that it's ok to ask such questions.  Eventually, we went to Big Want, some place near Hollywood and Vine. It's on Selma Avenue. It seemed like a sports bar, judging by the number of TV's they had all around the place.

It was still happy hour, she asked for their happy hour menu. We ordered just about everything on that menu and split it. I enjoyed their food. Everything was 50% off. That didn't matter, she was treating me and she told me to order whatever I wanted from that menu. The first thing I ordered were potato skins, love me some potato skins with bacon. I first had them at Ocean Basket in Melville, Johannesburg. It was my favorite, affordable, filling item on the menu. We took pictures, Carly paid and called Uber. The in taxi service where people use their own newer model cars to transport people but work for Uber and aparently they make lots of money doing it. It's pretty cheap. There's also Lyft in some cities, we don't have Lyft in Vegas, it's the cars with a big pink moustache, google it, if you've never seen it. We just had Uber like beginning of November 2014 or end of October in Vegas. Yay! When we left the bar, Carly was like, omg, I didn't tip him. I feel so bad! The Uber guy was literally there in two minutes. We got home within minutes. Carly used her credit card to pay.When we got off, she was like, omg, I didn't tip him! I was like dude! Seriously! You're a waitress, you know better than that! Whatever happened to a dollar. When in doubt, just give them a dollar bill, like if you're paying cash. That's what I do, but you must tip. It's poor etiquette not to tip. You can't depend on other customers, and be like, I'm sure they have tipped him. What?

Not too long after that, Carly came home with a gift bag  for me. It was Lady Gaga's Fame Black Fluid perfume. I've always like that perfume but hadn't gotten around to buying it. Apparently Carly had been gifted that gift set for her birthday the year before. She still had a few droplets in her bottle when she moved in. I told her that was one of my favorite perfumes. She remembered that and bought me that for my birthday. I was like, you spoil me! You really didn't have to. She used to ask me if I wanted a handbag or perfume. She heard that I was shopping for a yellow handbag. I told her, it was really ok, I was going to buy myself both. I felt bad, she had already treated me for my birthday! She bought perfume and bought a jewellery box, used that for a gift box. When I opened it, I was like this is cute! I love it! She was like, really? I got this for the perfume. I said this is a jewellery box silly! It has a mirror and everything! She was surprised, she told me that made sense, because she was wondering what the small compartment inside it was, good thing she didn't throw it away. She gave that to me too. Very nice of her.

Around the same time, I went to Santa Monica. I love that area! It reminds me very much of Melville in Johannesburg. It's like taking Melville and putting it right by the beach and making it really really expensive. I got paid on my way there and also collected Cola's check. Of course, we called her first to find out if it was ok with her if I did. It would save her gas money, driving about an hour back and forth to Hollywood. I may have bought myself a pair of cute boots on my way there. When I was done with my errands, Cola and I met up. Just as she was walking towards me, guess who walks right past us?  Derek J! One of the two gays from Atlanta Housewives and co-host of Fashion Queens. I was so excited to see him. I told Cola, but of course, she had no idea who I was talking about. She hasn't watched tv in ages. We took a walk to Mc Donald's, dang, we seem to be eating at Mc Donald's a lot! From there, we went for a walk, we always go for long walks she and I! She tried to pay for me, I was like, that'll be a hell no! I got paid too, why don't I pay? She said, I want to treat you, I appreciate that you brought me my check. Oy! I let her. She even bought ice cream afterwards! We then walked around, she showed me her favorite thrift store in Santa Monica. So expensive! Granted they have cute stuff! I did see some cute Christian Louboutins for $200 IN MY SIZE though! I shouldn't have tried them on because I really got tempted to buy them after that!

Cola's daughter  called, they were going to meet up for Mother's Day Dinner. I had heard a lot about her daughters but never met them. Just before we parted, Cola told me to walk her to the van. I did. She got me a set of Covergirl Lipgloss. Good lipgloss too, it lasts like 8 hours straight! I couldn't believe it! She told me it was my birthday gift! It was May, and I was still getting birthday gifts! Do you see me complaining? Cola has this cute pair of sunglasses, they are old Hollywood style, round, translucent tan frames and peach sides. I died when I saw them on her. She told me she would give them to me but she got them as a gift from her daughter so they had a sentimental value. I loved them so much, I was willing to buy them from her. But I wouldn't if they had such sentimental value. A few weeks after that, SHE GAVE THEM TO ME! She told me her daughter bought her another pair that she likes even better, so I could have those. My gosh, was I happy! If you're my friend on Facebook, you may have seen me rocking them.

I don't know if I told you about a friend of mine who I met doing background work, we stood next to each other in line, exchanged a few words one day, then set next to each other one more time in a show. I was between her and Cola. At some point, she, her girlfriend and I exchanged massages. She whispered something about a couple on the show that was good looking, she said, 'I bet you they have cute kids'. I teased her and pretended to be shocked she would say something so perverted to me. I was like, don't you think it's inappropriate for you to whisper, ' I am cute, you and I would have cute kids together while giving me a massage?' I still laugh out loud when I think about that. She was so embarrassed. She thought I was serious. She was like, that's not what I said! lol lol looooolllllll. I got her a few more times after that. It was an 8 hour show, we had to keep ourselves entertained. At some point, she saw someone's black jacket on the floor, she was like, 'who's black jacket is that?' I told her that was racist, she was going to offend people. She said, ok, who's African American Jacket is that?' Oh man, we had so much fun! From then on, we referred to black things as African American and white things as Caucasian. All in the name of fun.

She and her girlfriend were about to move out of the country. She told me that she would like to give me something. She mentioned one or two things. I didn't have much in my apartment, so I welcomed whatever she wanted to give me. I had no idea! She had a ton of stuff for me! I literally still can't believe they did that for me. Oh and the girlfriend is originally from South Africa. She was two when they moved though, so she doesn't really have any memory of  South Africa. She was born in Cape Town, so I call her Cape Town. They are the coolest people! The kind of people you get acquainted to just before they leave. At lease I got to know them though. We added each other on Facebook and chat often. They are doing very well where they are, working in big productions. I am so happy for them. They deserve it!

I wanted to go to San Francisco on vacation. Carly did too. We even planned to go there together. She told me she hadn't been to that many places, she was down for whatever, so wherever I wanna go vacation, I can count her in. It sounded like a great idea. We did have fun together. One night, we were fast asleep. I heard a weird sound and something fell on my legs in bed. It was my wardrobe. The Chinese one made of cloth like material. I used that and let Carly use the walk in one because it wasn't enough for both of us and she had more stuff. Unfortunately, mine gave in. Right there and then, something clicked; I knew I wasn't going to buy another wardrobe. I decided, instead, to pack my stuff in suitcase, put in my 30 day  notice and move to Vegas.

Monday, November 17, 2014

I'll Get High If I want To!

April 10, 2014. B-Day!

I was up early, got my two outfits for the day ready! None of them needed ironing as you may know by now! I headed out to check out some casinos that I had planned to that I hadn't yet downtown. I had breakfast with dessert (don't judge me. It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to!) downtown as well. After that, I thought I'd have some of that Shrimp Cocktail I have heard about online. It's like shrimps in a cup with some sauces, a straw and crackers on the side. I'm open minded about a lot of things and will try anything even if just once but OMG Yuck! I don't know if it's the ones I had or what but Geez! I couldn't even finish them. I threw away the rest, sorry mom; I know you taught us better than to throw food away when people are starving in Ethiopia but I had to!

After gallivanting, I headed to the West side for a full body massage. I saw reviews on Yelp and called to book. Everything went great, I called them as I was on my way to confirm, still on! I even called them after I got off the bus as I was walking towards their spa. I wasn't sure of directions etc. I arrived at the spa and all of a sudden, nobody spoke English! What? Where's the lady I had been liaising with the whole time? Well, the guy who answered the door was busy at the back and just came to see who was at the door. He spoke no word of English. He showed me the clock and signaled for me that he would fit me in in an hour. Only issue is, my appointment is right now. I kept asking to speak to 'someone'. He had no idea what I was saying. I got frustrated. It was hot outside, I had just walked forever from the bus stop to the spa and wasn't about to wait an entire hour. I had a show to go to in three hours, I didn't want to miss that, that was part of my birthday extravaganza. I didn't come all the way here to not do the things I had planned to!

Right next door to the Spa I was in, there was another on. It looked like it was the same business, I went in there and was greeted by a very bubbly Asian lady. I asked her if she was the same one I had been talking to on the phone, she told me she was. Can I get my massage now please. He referred me to the non speaking guy next door. Like, lady, come on now! What are you doing? You know that dude doesn't speak a word of English, why are you referring me back there? What's going on here?

I called the number I had been calling all along, the lady picked up and asked if I was still coming. WHAT? What in the world is happening? I thought I just talked to this lady and she didn't seem to remember our conversations! Whew! I asked here where she was. She told me she was inside, to go in. I told her I had just been to two spas, it didn't look like anyone was expecting there. A random dude came around the corner, and was like, "Hi. Please come this way!" UHM, WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? He told me that the lady asked him to come get me. I was so relieved. Where do they take me? The back of the same building I had just been to! I swear they were playing some Chinese game with me!

The lady seemed so happy to see me. She explained to me that the spa I went to used to belong to her, she hadn't changed her number yet so they still have her number advertised under that address even though she is no longer associated with that place. Confused yet? She called a guy named Jack to give me the 'foot massage' I'd booked. I was like, FOOT? Foot massage my foot, I booked for a full body massage! She was like well.... We only do foot massages here as you can see on the outside, it's stated. BUT LADY, I HAVE TALKED TO YOU AND ARRANGED FOR A FULL BODY MASSAGE! I AM NOT SOME RANDOM WALK IN WHO DIDN'T TAKE NOT OF WHAT IS WRITTEN OUTSIDE YOUR BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT! I told her the longer I was there, the more stressed out I was becoming. I felt like I deserved a massage just from what I went through trying to find the place! She told me that I would have to pay more than she had quoted me for the full body massage. I was like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. You and I had a full on conversation about this. Either someone is going to give me a massage for the amount agreed upon or I walk! She told Jack to give me a full body massage and asked me to please tip her. I was like, of course I'm gonna tip him. Who tells someone to tip their therapist? Rude!

James! What an amazing massage I got from him! Oh my goodness! He soaked my feet in warm water and gave me the best head to toe massage ever. Not with my feet still in the water of course :). The pressure was just right, I like it hard. I suffered from Plantar Fasciitis for years. I have been to doctors and they all tell me they are normal. I just need to lose weight and all my problems will be solved. I feel like whatever medical condition I suffer from, doctors just tell me to lose weight and it will be gone! I even Twittered the Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu show about it. The old Professor/doctor person answered my tweet and said I just need to lose weight. Anyway, my left heel was on fire that day. I think it was from all the walking I had been doing in Vegas. I didn't even notice until the massage, so I told Jack to take it easy on it. Jack made all the trouble I went through worthwhile. I gave him a decent tip and went to pay. The lady made sure to remind me to tip him. I gave the tip top Jack in the room because I have read online that sometimes the tips to get to the therapists or they will give them some of the money. I didn't want drama, Jack was good to me, and I had seen what can go on around there.

I left feeling rejuvenated. I ran back to the bus stop, missed the first bus; while waiting for the light to open and had to wait a good 15 minutes for the next one. Not cute! I tried to keep calm. While waiting at the bust stop, I got a call from Daniel, telling me that he was trying his best but might not be able to make the show. AGAIN? I told him I would love it if he could but I mean what was I going to do? Make him? Well, I could...

He told me they were done with the convention, he was waiting for people who were supposed to clean up, they were taking their sweet time. I was running out of time myself. I didn't have much time to go to my room, freshen up and then go to the show. I was just gonna head straight for the show.  I got off the bus and ran across the street, you know the drill, everything is across the street in vegas!  I took the elevator, ran to my room, while on the way there, I was looking for the room key in my bag, nothing, looking, looking, nothing! Oh no! Not now! I tell you, I can be busy as heck, I am just not the person who loses things. I don't lose cellphones, keys wallets, stuff like that. I just don't. I didn't understand where the key could be. Still trying to maintain my composure. We don't want to waste that massage now! I thought it best to just go to the desk and ask for copies of my tickets and just go straight to the theatre. I asked nicely, they asked me for proof of things I didn't have. Something about I had to go to security or the police and report the loss of my key. I was like, chile ain't nobody got time for dat! I went to check in and asked them for copies of my key. They were happy to give it to me. Thank goodness. Why didn't I think about this the first time, instead of wasting my precious massages on those power hungry a** holes! I ran upstairs, took off my Converses, washed my feet, put on flip flops, got my tickets and ran down to the theatre. I got in just as the show was about to start. Thank goodness. Because I was uhm just on time (read:late), They didn't want me to distract others by trying to get to my seat. They told me to just sit at the tables right in front of the stage. Best seat ever! It worked out for the best! I enjoyed myself. The show is called Jubilee! It's a variety show with a little bit of everything. I really enjoyed it. They weren't just on the stage in front of the audience, they also took it to the balcony all around the theatre. Every now and then, when I thought the performance deserved it, I would give them standing ovation.They appreciated it. They literally looked me in the eye and whispered thanks. Towards the end, the guys that were in front of me, were like looking at me, dancing I was like dang, what did I ever do to deserve this special treatment! Thanks Jubilee! Folks. Yall made a sista's birthday!

As soon as it was over, I went upstairs. I believe they did a meet and greet just before the show, unlike Fantasy where they meet and greet was after the show. I didn't get to take pictures this time around, it was all good though. I was ready to go to my room. Also, my phone was off, I didn't know if Daniel was outside or what was going on. I turned on my phone and he had left me a message that he had just gotten done, literally just as I was walking out of the theatre! Sadly he missed both my shows. I should've sold them haha. Thanks Dr. Phil Show! I went up to my room, took a nice shower and put on my birthday outfit.  Dan was going to freshen up and come pick me up. The day wasn't over yet!

I ran downstairs to him,  he had parked in the next building, not sure why. We had to walk there. I was in heels, tired from running around and just didn't feel like walking at all. One of my shoes was loose. My heel kept popping out of the shoe, so annoying! When we got to the car, he tried to come up with ways to fix that. I told him I had ample other shoes in my room, we could drive back there and I could just change shoes. He told me that was not necessary, he gave me his inner soles, literally from his shoes that he was wearing, I thought that was so sweet. That didn't work though, eventually, I did what my mom used to do when we were little and just stuck in tissue in there and was good to go. Dan held my hand the entire time, and whenever we saw benches, he would say, let's take a break. He's the sweetest guy! So thoughtful!

He told me he wanted to take me to his favorite resort, one that reminds him so much of home, (Italy), the Venitian! We walked around the mall, he told me he could buy me flats if I was still uncomfortable. I was fine though, and we wouldn't want him to spend any more than he already did on me. We went to this nice floor where they had outside dining areas, a faux lake, gondolas, fake sky, the works. It's all reminiscent of Venice (Venitian, get it?). I had never been to Venice so to me it was reminiscent of Montecasino which is Italy inspired as well. We found a bench and sat down and talked while facing the lake. I took lots of pictures. It was truly amazing! Whenever I pass The Venitian, I think of Daniel. He wanted to head out to California early the following morning. He was going to give me a ride back to LA which is so not on his way but he was just being the nice guy that he is. He wanted us to head out around 5. I was like, so what you're telling me is I should get up at 4am tomorrow? We looked at the time and it was past midnight already! I had less than 4 hours to sleep. I know we're in Vegas and sleeping's for the dead but dang! We agreed on 7am or so.

I had promised myself that I was going to try the steak and eggs from Ellis Island Cafe, I had a few hours to do that before heading back to LA. So I did what any self respecting person would do, after Daniel dropped me off, I ran to my room, changed into comfortable clothing, and walked to Ellis Island. Luckily, it's only a few blocks from my hotel. They don't do take out (take away), so I had to order as if I was going to eat there, then ask them to put my stuff in a take out container, like afterwards. They have time to dirty their dishes. I went with their pork and eggs instead of Beef because I like pork and I am not a big fan of beef. I saw some delicious, devilish everything dessert so I ordered that too, 1am as it was, on account of; it's my birthday-ish. Technically, it was the following day but who's counting? The dessert is called That Really Big Ice Cream Brownie Thing. No kidding! That's really what it's called! How can you not want that? It's chocolate brownie (favorite!), Caramel (favorite), Vanilla ice cream, fresh cream, chocolate sauce. It is utter madness on top of madness, and it's a lot for $5. I rushed back to my room. This is after 1am, I am power walking to my hotel in the middle of Las Vegas by myself with Pork and eggs and That really big ice cream brownie ting! Just imagine! Would you do that?

My food was still warm when I got to the hotel, I put the dessert in the fridge while I ate and got so full, I saved dessert for breakfast. Might as well, right? It's not like I didn't have desert for breakfast on my birthday as well. I set my alarm and put my phone on charge far enough that I would have to get out of bed to turn off the alarm. I set the alarm on my iPod as well. They have the dock thingy on my headboard, so I hooked it up to that and their speaker is nice and loud. That was a nice treat. Daniel and I danced to my music one of the nights when he came up to check out my room. I get get  all my guys to dance and sing, whatever! This is not American Idol. No judgement here! Elvis and Spotty were the best singers of the guys I dated here. Perry loved to sing but he ain't no Rock Star. I liked that he didn't take himself seriously though.

I got up on time, took a shower and, wait for it.... ironed my new dress. Yup, my second time ironing cherry was popped! I had to, the dress was a mess! I took some selfies and headed out. The whole time in Vegas, Dan had to wait for me, I was never on time. He asked me nicely to please try when we were leaving. He didn't think I had it in me. He couldn't believe it when he pulled up and I was waiting outside the hotel with my suitcase. I had already checked out and errythang! I posted on Twitter/Facebook, something along the lines of heading back to Hollywood with Sheryl Crowe's Leaving Las Vegas playing in my head. I get in the car and what does Daniel say? There's a song about leaving Las Vegas by, er, who is this female singer?

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Sleeping Is For The Dead

My days in Vegas started early. I wanted to see as much of Vegas as possible. Sleeping is for the dead after all! I went to the Resorts I had always heard of, some of them at least. There is just too much to see everything in one trip! I also took the bus and went downtown to Fremont Street Experience. It's crazy over there! It's old Vegas. I enjoyed it. It's colorful, they have big hotels and casinos over there as well. Well, there are casinos or slot machines all over Vegas, even at supermarkets, 7 Elevens and gas station convenience stores. To give you an idea. That's what makes Vegas Vegas.

I took a bus from downtown, I went to Premium Outlets. T, my ex friend from Connecticut used to talk to me about Premium outlets. She lived close to one and had bought just about everything she had from there. Everything she owns is a brand name. Most of them are Ralph Lauren. She paid close to nothing for them. all her jeans are True Religion, also from the outlets. She had promised to take me there but we never got to go. I was excited to finally have a chance to go to one. This isn't your mama's factory shop; it's an entire shopping centre full of factory outlets! I just recently found out there are two in Vegas. What I like about the buses in Vegas is, not only do they announce  the next stop, they also tell you what's close by and how to get there, especially with major attractions. The trains in Los Angeles do the same thing, come to think of it. 

I started from one end. I saw a lot of tourists with wads of bags, people be shopping left, right and centre! They were buying extra luggage and filling it up with stuff. There are clothing stores, luggage, shoe shops, perfume and make up outlets. What could be better than that? The luggage store was meh. I've seen cheaper store. It's hard for me to find something in these so called cheap places because I buy my stuff really cheap. I'll go to a store that's not particularly cheap and find things at knock off prices. I am lucky like that. That has spoilt me. I ain't complaining though. I found a store that had cute $10 mini skirts. Nothing to write home about. I've seen the same skirts for $3-$5 in LA. That was the cheapest store! They strategically placed the cheapest store right at the entrance of the shopping centre, to raise give you hope. Things get really expensife from there on. You have a better chance of getting better deals at Ross Dress For Less, Marshalls, T.J. Maxx and Khol's. Or the random non chain stores. I spent quite some time at Premium Outlets because you never know where you are going to find a deal. I wasn't impressed. Especially having just found a few good spots in LA where I bought my vacation wardrobe. I rolled my eyes and headed back to the strip. 

I had lunch at the nearest fast food restaurant and headed to my hotel. It was time to move to hotel #2. I had already checked out of the first hotel and dropped my suitcase off at the second one. Both hotels are along the strip. It's a mere bust ride. Just make sure you don't get lured in by the marketers otherwise you will never get to your destination like I explained here. I checked in, asked the concierge a few things about their services and headed upstairs to my room. I never unpacked. I was only there for a week, no time to unpack and repack and all that. My clothes are all wash and wear anyway, so no stress about ironing. Yippee! My room was so beautiful! Totally different to the one at Luxor. This was at Bally's. You can look up the hotels if you wish to get an idea, I do have pictures, one day when I have faster internet, I will post picture blogs.The room at Bally's was much more modern, it was silver and white with a splash of red. Really cute! It was just a bedroom with a couch and a desk like normal hotels. Unlike the penthouse I had at Luxor. I had the view of the Eiffel Tower of Paris hotel/casino next to Bally's. I wasn't complaining at all. The bathroom was cute and a decent size as well. I took a shower and got ready for dinner date with Daniel. 

Daniel had told me the day before that he might have a business dinner the following day. We had planned to have dinner together every night while we were both in Vegas. He asked if I wanted to be his date for the business dinner. I must say, that made nervous, a little bit. What am I gonna wear? What am I gonna talk about with these people I don't even know? The guy he was going to meet with was going to bring his wife so I was going to balance the scales. Shoot! Are they gonna be like, so, how long have you two known each other? How did you meet? Crap! I was flattered that Dan was comfortable enough around me to want to introduce to business associates. I did secretly wish the meeting would not happen. Is that bad?

Around lunch time, I got a call from Dan. He told me that the meeting had been cancelled. I quietly breathed a sigh of relief. He and I were still on though. Cut back to evening, after my shower in the new room at Bally's...D picked me up. We drove around, did more sight seeing. I love driving around aimlessly. It's one of the things I miss about having a car. One of my favorite birthdays, I had just bought myself a car. I had my favorite CD of that time, Katie Meluah, my then boyfriend had bought it for me for Christmas. It was CD and DVD. I got up early, birthday fell on my day off, thankfully. My apartment was nice and clean, it smelled fresh, I took a nice bath and off I went. I was grateful for my life. I had a job I loved, my own home, had just bought a car I had always wanted, my family was fine, everything was just how I had wished. It was a good day. I drove around from Pinetown, went towards Chatsworth, The Bluff, I was just driving, listening to music, enjoying the moment.Eventually, I went for breakfast, then a boat ride then lunch and then headed home. Anyway, this was a night drive with Dee, even better. I love those, what could be better than going for a night drive is going to a night drive to the beach. Oh man!

We then went to The Stratosphere; the tallest building on the west of the Mississippi. Dang, I just found that out now. I just assumed it was the tallest building in Nevada at least, the west of the Mississippi? There are 24 States on the West of the Mississippi, which include California! Anyway, we went to the top of the building. I didn't know what Daniel had in mind. I didn't care. I knew he wasn't staying there, so we were definitely not going to his room haha. We went to the uppermost floor, you pay to go in and check out the view. It reminded me of the day we went to Carlton Centre, tallest building in all of Africa. My family and some Australian friends went over there just before the Soccer World Cup in 2010. It was nice and dark, the lights were on all over the city off Johannesburg. It's quite a site if you haven't been there, do yourself a favor! We stood up there on the balcony and enjoyed the view while chatting. I told him that I think I wanna move to Vegas next. He was like, no you don't! I told him I was seriously considering it. After all, why not, right? He told me he doesn't like it here, this is his least favorite city, etc etc etc. Unfortunately for him, once a seed has been planted in my head, there isn't much anyone can do. It's not like he was telling me, I'm not gonna let you move to Vegas, you're moving in with me. Not that that's what I wanted but at the end of the day, he didn't have much of a say in the matter. And I didn't even know what he wanted out of the whole situation between him and I and I wasn't going to stick around LA to find out. I had to keep living.

We eventually left. He took us to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Italian for dinner with an Italian, what could be better than that, right? I could always have Italian for desert to aka Him. Dinner was divine. We were the only ones in the restaurant. I don't know where everyone else eats. Looks like everywhere we go, it's just us. Unleessssss, Daniels calls in advance and books the entire place just for us. Haha! They have paper as table cloth and crayons. Different! I doodled on the paper with the crayons while waiting for dinner. D ordered something Vegetarian as usual. I ordered meat and potatoes! Some kind of a stew. It came in a giant pot. I was like omg, what am I gonna do with all these. Pretending to be cute and all, when inside, my heart was smiling. He said, you can take the rest to your hotel and ask them to heat it up for you in the morning. Good idea! He took me home after dinner.We made out and he left, you know the drill :)

Friday, November 07, 2014


As soon as I got off the elevator, Daniel got up. I was so excited to see his tall self!

I ran towards him, threw myself onto him and wrapped my legs around his waist lol. Just Kidding. He is a strong man but even he would fall flat on the back of his head and pass out. I have never understood why people do that anyway, especially to people they don't know well. We went to the car. He decided to switch things up and use a different car this time. Similar car, just as old but apparently drives better than the one he used to take me out in Hollywood. I was like this man sure likes this uhm vintage cars. 

He asked about my day, the trip to Vegas, you know, the usual. He told me about a Vegan restaurant he saw online that he wanted to check out. I was like sure, let's! I've never eaten in a vegan restaurant before. I think he was careful to let me pick a restaurant seeing as I picked the most expensive the first time haha. Oh well. I ain't sayin' she a golddiger, but she ain't messing with not broke n*gga. Trust me, I'm far from a golddiger.

We drove for a good twenty to thirty minutes before we found it. We didn't get lost or anything. What Dan does is, he studies the map, memorises it, and heads straight to the place. Pretty impressive actually. I have noticed that most cities are pretty easy to navigate in if you relax and just follow directions. Most city streets are in a grid; east to west and south to north. If you've been to the city a number of times and know your east to your west etc and a couple of the bigger streets, you're as good as gold. The restaurant was in a street mall. Apparently, It looked nothing like Daniel had in mind (read: It looked dodgy). We were already there, according to Dan, the place had great reviews online, so why not check it out seeing as we went all the way there already? 

We went upstairs to the restaurant. There was one other couple in there. We picked a table not too far from the door. A nicer waitress came to greet us. We both ordered two waters. 'Er, I'll have a water' (In my best American Accent'. We then ordered two different dishes to share. We both hadn't eaten there before,so we wanted to sample a few different dishes. Dan said he will not be going to that random again, so we might as well try whatever we wished to try then. We ordered one more dish and a salad. The food was ok. Not much to write home about. We had fake chicken, fake steak, fake shrimp and a huge salad. The salad was our favorite thing there. When we were done, we headed out, the owner met us by the door. He was a nice Asian man. He moved to Vegas from San Diego, which is where Dan lives. We had a short conversation and then left. The owner dude was looking at me and giggling majority of the time. 

We went to the car and headed straight to my hotel, The show was going to start at ten, we left the restaurant around 9. We made it back to the hotel in time. Dan couldn't stay for the show. He had work to do and an early day the following day. I was bummed to hear that. I had wished we would spend the entire evening together but I understood. We stood by the entrance of the theatre and made out until it was time to for me to go in. He's a good kisser too. Nice teeth and all that. I'm into all that. We agreed to meet the following evening after work (for him). I went in, found my seat. I had a nice seat, third row. The theatre is small and cosy, there are no bad seats. It was a burlesque show, Fantasy. Half naked women everywhere, then they took off bras, then then then, before you know it, they were naked. It was all done tastefully. Halfway through the show, there was a random stand up show by a lady who knows she looks like Fran Drescher, remember her from the show, The Nanny? The lady who played The Nanny? She's currently on Happily Divorced. Fran, not the stand up comedian look alike. 

The show lasted more than an hour. It was fun. I didn't have a problem sitting there with no company, staring at other women's private parts. After the show, I headed for my hotel, took off my heels. I was tired, it had been a long couple of days for me. I put on my flip flops and went to get myself a snack from Mc Donal's somewhere inside the resort, ate and called it a day! 

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Know What I'm Saying?

Just before my vacation, I met, Tortoise online. He is much older. Like, much much. He sent me an email, asking me to prove that I am who I am and am where I say I am. He wanted me to send him mail from Los Angeles. That way, he would see on the postage stamp that the mail was mailed from Los Angeles. He also told me that he wanted to meet up. He wasn't going to drive all the way to meet me in California. He wanted me to meet him at the State-ine. On the border of Nevada and California. I thought he was being ridiculous. I told him that I don't know about him, but I personally hadn't even established whether or not I wanted to be part of his life that I would go through all that trouble to prove to him all those things. I told him that he was the one with issues, therefore he should figure out how he was going to prove all this for his own sanity.

We exchanged a few emails. On my profile, I had selected artist under job. He himself is an artist, he's a painter. He got so excited, thinking that like him, I had gone to school for art. Even if I were an artist, that's not necessary the route everyone becomes an artist. It was rather presumptuous of him, but what are you gonna do? The arts industry entails way more than painters and drawers.

One of the days, he asked to call me, he had told me that he's a blues singer as well. I thought that was interesting. He sounded like everyone I have met in Los Angeles, they are all gifted in more ways than one. Triple or Quadruple threats so to speak.  I gave him my number. I also told him that way, he could prove that I was really in LA. I have an LA number. Still do, even though I'm no longer there. He told me that wasn't proof enough, he still wanted me to write him a letter. Too bad, that wasn't gonna happen! I'm not running up and down the streets of Hollywood, trying to catch the post office in time before it closes to mail a letter to a man I hardly know. Someone I have no intentions of being with. I was just talking to him because he was there and one can always have more friends. Nothing wrong with that. I don't write my friends letters. That's ridiculous, this is not 1864!

After having given him my number, he turned around and gave me his number. He told me to call him. I was like, this guy sure seems to be sure of himself, why am I calling him? Let's call him and see what he has to say that can't be said if he makes the call himself. He merely picked up the phone and asked if I could hear him. I told him I could.
T: 'Can you here me now?'
Me: YES!
T: 'And now?'
T: Nooowwww?
Me: YYYYEESSSSS. WHAT'S GOING ON? (rolling my eyes)

Before my eyes could get to the roof of my head, I guitar strings! I was being serenaded! He belted out to the top of his lungs! I was like, well, I be damned!

Funny because earlier that evening, I had chatted with another dude on the same site, he serenaded me as well with his bass guitar. Who can say no to that? The dude from earlier and I had chatted a bit first, he didn't just ram it down my throat. No pun intended.

Tort played the whole song. It seems longer when you had no idea what is going on. I was still kinda taken aback. Afterwards, he asked what I thought of the song. I mean, what do you say? I told him I liked it. He told me that he wrote it for me. Uhm?!?!?!?!?!? Then he hung up. Click! Just like that! The call was just for him to perform his song. I guess that was my paying for entry to his private show!  I was left more confused than before.

We continued to talk over time. He suggested at some point that I could move to Las Vegas if I wish. I could be his back up singer. He performs at open mics weekly and the crowd loves him (?!?!?!!??!). They sometimes let him perform hours in a row, even past the allocate time. I don't know how sober these people are by the time he performs. I'm not saying his bad, I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying? He also has t-shirts that he has drawn on, a number of suitcases full of them that he told me I could also sell when in Vegas if I decide to move here. He owns a three bedroom house. Owns it! I don't know how many times he told me he owns the house as if it's the first thing he has ever owned in his life. He had been married twice before. The second wife used to sell the T-shirts for him. It's team work though. Tortoise will play the guitar, sing the blues (yawn) to draw the crowd in, then I would sell to the crowd. He told me we could split the profit. It probably is a great idea, but I don't know if I want to move to Vegas to be this person's entourage. I want to be the lead in my own life, or even a partner with my better half but nobody's shadow. If I am not his back up singer in a free gig, I am selling t shirt in the desert son in the streets of Las Vegas. I grew up doing that. During school holidays, we had no choice but to help mom sell secondhand clothes and curtains on the side of the streets. I wished I didn't have to but we had to put food on the table. At this point in my life, I don't know if I want to be with a man my mom's age, struggling to make ends meet. Men out there, if you want to sleep with a child, be prepared to make her life as comfy and cosy as ever! Whether they admit this to you or not, no child wants to be with an old, wrinkly man who has nothing to offer. Not just that, but who's going to make her move backwards in life. None of this makes a woman want to take her knickers off and open her legs. Come on now! Two marriages and you still haven't learnt anything? This kind of behaviour bothers me!

I see a lot of men who are old enough to me my father or grandfather who are looking for an independent man, who don't pay for sex, who are not looking to be nobody's sugar daddy, and yet are not willing to date people their age. They want to sleep with children. It's disgusting! These kids are bringing their youth,the humiliation of being with your old, wrinkly ass, what are you bringing to the table? Blues? T Shirts that you don't know what to do with? That's not bringing something to the table? That's something that's been in the garage for years. We're talking about the table here, not the garage. Have some pride!

Daniel and I were going to meet at 7. He was taking me out for dinner on my first night in Vegas. I had tickets to a show that night at 10. Two tickets. I'd invited Daniel to see it with me. He hadn't made up his mind about it yet. Initially, I was going to see Criss Angel's Magic show but apparently he broke his arm and was on sick leave. They told me they had a hip hop dance group that were winners of America's best Dance crew;  Jabbawockeez. Because of the timing of that show, I had to go for a different one because I wanted to accommodate Daniel. The much later show that night was Fantasy, a Burlesque show in a theatre at the resort where I was staying. 

I turned on my phone, sent a courtesy text to Tortoise apologising about him. I explained to him that my phone had died and I had to put it on charge. He knew that I had arrived that very day. His response was, 'you have a phone in the hotel room'. I thought to my self, THE NERVE! Is this fool expecting me to know his number by heart? To then dial it on the hotel phone, to say what to him? I had already told him what I wanted to tell him anyways, that I was now in Vegas, I arrived safely. It was a courtesy call. He has my number, I didn't see him calling me asking if I arrived safely or if  I needed a ride from the station. So please! Instead, he had said that if I have time, I could take the bus to his house and we could hang out over there, I could see this house he lives in that he owns. I could spend the night, the has two spare bedrooms. I should know though that he doesn't have beds in the house. IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE!  There are no beds in the whole house! I would have to sleep on the carpet. He has comfortable rugs on the floor that I could sleep on. Mind you, I'd never met this person and he has all these weird demands from the 1800's. He has a car, and, let's say, hypothetically speaking, I intended to forgo my paid for hotel on the Exciting Las Vegas Strip and go sleep on the floor in the house he owns, Why would I take the bus there? He could at least pick me up. What a narcissist!

I never replied to his text about the hotel telephone. I thought to myself, choose your battles, Brook. So I didn't choose that one. I chose the battle of going out with The Italian Stallion who had driven three hours to take me to a five star hotel on our first date. I put my wig on, make up, perfume, new dress number one, heels. Daniel called when he was on his way to pick me up. Butterflies! He called when he arrived, I was almost done. I was done, right? But not done enough to step out like that! :)

When I was finally done done, I stepped out, took the elevator to the foyer, Daniel was waiting for me there. It was so nice to see him! To think that that was only the second time we were seeing each other in our entire lives after talking for about three months!