Saturday, May 11, 2013

Crossroads


December 2012
Wow, that was hectic! What the heck was I going to do with myself? Whew! He had to submit the booklet thirty days from that day. He subsequently gave me 30 days notice to move out. I had to figure something out. FAST! I had already started looking for a job when he broke up with me the first time. I wasn’t going to fool myself into thinking he was just under a lot of stress, there’s no way he meant that, NO. That’s not how I operate, you dump me, that means it’s over. Someone breaks up with you, be broken up with! It was his loss anyway, right? ;)
I had thirty days to figure out the next step. I had been looking for a job. There are jobs but the first question they ask you is if you have a car, and if you don’t, forget it! There I was stuck in a house with a man whom I hardly knew, who no longer wanted me. Awkward. After crying it out and calling my Jamaican friend in New Jersey and my sisters back in South Africa, I had to think of an exit strategy. I had gone back on the dating site the moment he broke up with me the first time. I’d paid for membership before I met him, and wasn’t about to let it go to waste especially seeing as he had dumped me like a hot potato. 
I wasn’t sure what would happen if I were to really start dating. Was the guy  going to have to pick me up from Perry’s? I didn’t want to disrespect him in his own house, plus, it still was the only home I had at the time. Tricky! What if someone wants to know about my living arrangement. I do’t want to be those girls, you know with baggage? Ugh, what if? What if? What if? And I didn’t want someone feeling like they had to save me and have me move from one man’s house to the next. That would’ve been an adventure on it’s own, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted to do.
Mh, what to do?
I kept applying, registering with employment agencies, NOTHING! Perry was civil with me, a bit sarcastic at times but I could dish it right back. I didn’t even care anymore, what was he gonna do? Break up with me and kick me out?