Friday, May 10, 2013

"You can't be here!, I can't have you here!"


After week one in San Diego, Perry, still busy with the divorce proceedings, got a letter from his lawyers. They wanted a lot more money than he had anticipated. He showed me the email, talked to his brother on the phone and I could tell he was really stressed out. The mood changed around the house.
Perry went out for work, he brought back lunch dinner with him, burgers and fries. While sitting in the living room, having dinner, he told me, he wanted to remain friends. He didn’t think he was ready for a relationship. Blah blah blah.
Me:        Wait a minute, are you breaking up with me?
Him:       You’re making it seem as if we’re in a relationship or something, we’re just friends and I would like things to remain that way!
Me:        Well if you want to remain the way things are, why did you feel the need to tell me that?
Him:       I’m just telling you that I am not in the right frame of mind right now, there’s a lot going on in my life right now, my ex-wife, the lawyers, there’s just too much going on, I can’t deal with all that and a relationship right now. You can stay here as long as you want or until I sell the house, I just can’t be in a relationship right now.
He says right now a lot when he’s worked up
Me: Oh My Gosh
I got up, walked away. I went straight into the bedroom and talked to my people. It was back to the drawing board for me.
Him: Brook! Brook! Golly, don’t walk away, oh God...! Why are you getting so upset, it’s not like we’ve been dating for years, we just met and it’s not working out. It’s not a big deal, I’m sure you’ll find someone else!
I felt like I got hit by a train. Here I was in this man’s house, he just made me uproot my entire life from coast to coast for him, a week later, he’s gonna tell me it’s over! What is happening? Was I dreaming? This is the same man who told me I had to see if I liked him otherwise his mind was made up. I talked to my sisters, we talk all the time as you may well know.
The next morning, I stayed in my bedroom and just did my thing, I didn’t feel like socialising.
I later bumped into Perry in the kitchen. He was like, hheeyyy Brook! I brought you lunch! I politely declined. “What are you going to eat then? You have to eat! I don’t feel like cooking today, please take this!” Suurrreee whatever! I took it! He tried to be nice for the rest of the day and the next day, and the next. No apology but he was playing nicey nice! I was confused. I didn’t want to be that annoying person who says, “we need to talk” but I needed some enlightenment. I had no clue what was happening.
The following week, he got another email from the lawyer. HE was expecting to be billed about $400 but they billed him more than $2 000. That flipped him out! He was going nuts. I tell you if anything could get  that man worked up, it’s those lawyers! Not the ex-wife, the lawyers. His lawyers! I always wondered what man hires a female lawyer when he is going through a divorce from a woman. Isn’t that like the unwritten rule? Like when you’ve been abused by a man, as a woman, you know you have to hire a female lawyer. I was walking on egg shells that day again around him. It was very awkward and tense. They had also sent him a thick booklet to fill out. One of the questions was if he lived with someone in the house and whether they pay rent. He told me that the ex’s lawyers new about his new car. He said the only way they could have found out was from the neighbour who used to be friends with her. That night, around dinner, he said, “...I’M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN’T BE HERE! I CAN’T HAVE YOU HERE...”