Monday, August 26, 2013

Jerry Springer

Still nothing on the job front. I spent my time, hanging around the apartment, going out with El on his off days, the sister, the works.

I started picking up weird vibes from El's sister. I didn't know what triggered them and didn't want to be forward and ask. I would mention something to El, instead he would make the whole thing about him. He enjoyed hearing someone trash his sister, if you want to make his day, talk badly about his sister. I tried not to go there, all I wanted to know was what changed. El would keep egging me on to beat her up, he would say things like, my ex would have already beat her up by now. Or, can you see why someone would just wanna beat her up, or doesn't she make you just wanna beat her up? No, grandpa, she doesn't! I am not that kind of person! Haven't you met me? I'm a lady, what the heck!

I remember when I was still San Diego, he would always ask me on our teleconversations if I had been or know of anybody who had been on the Jerry Springer show. He told me that one of his exes cousin had been. Her story had been so crazy, they did a follow up show on it, so she was there twice. Yeah, sure #RollEyes.

One morning, everybody was home, I had just woken up. Whenever El got up, first thing he would do, would be to go to the kitchen to grab something to eat, he would eat throughout the day and night! The scenario would be him getting up, jumping out of bed as if he just remembered something very important, open the bedroom door. Sister sleeps in the living room but she gets up very early, he would as much as open the door and she would start, then they would have a huge argument. Every single morning. It would escalate to the point where I would freak out cos I thought it was going to get physical. It never did. This particular morning, I went to the kitchen, El was still asleep, sister was watching TV, she made some snide remarks about fat, black women. There was a fat, black lady on tv who had just won lots of money on a game show. Sister went on about how she doesn't get why that lady would be so happy being so fat, I was like, because she just won a lot of money, wouldn't you be happy? She went on and on about how there's nothing to be happy about looking like she does, blah blah blah, it was personal. It had nothing to do with that lady.

I didn't get why she was being so mean, I took my delayed reaction and went back to the bedroom. I told El what had just happened. He really didn't care, he told me stories about how she is racist and intolerant and bah and bla and and and. Whatever, I went back on my bff, my laptop and tuned them all out. Sister was still carrying on in the living room about young, fat, black ladies sleeping with black me for money. I could hear her. You could tell she had intended for me to. I told El that if I dated older white men for money, I definitely never would have met his sister, because I wouldn't have been with El. Come on now, dude works at Sears, lives with his mom, his sister and her two cats in a two bed apartment. Let's be realistic now! El started again with his, "I wouldn't blame you at all for beating her up, that's what my ex would have done by now..."

He got up and went to the kitchen, I told him not to confront her about it, I got it! i wanted to handle it myself. Of course, the moment he opened the door, they started with their usual fights. Sometimes El would speak softly, I wouldn't hear everything he said but the sister can yell! After their morning argument. I could tell that the argument was about me, but I didn't know what exactly El was saying. From Sister's responses, it sounded like he was defending me, which was nice of him. I'm not used to people being on my side, I'm used to fighting my own battles, or rather not fighting, just ignore and move on. He had asked me before he went to the kitchen, "I'm about to go out there now, are you going to follow me and beat her up while I'm out there?" The tone in which he asked the question was rather ambiguous, I couldn't tell if he meant that he wished I would or he would have preferred I didn't. Either way, I would do no such thing. I did tell him that at some point, I was gonna go get myself a drink of water, so of course I did. He was standing in the kitchen, she was standing in front of him, there wasn't that much space to move, I walked towards them, she turned around to face me, got all up in my face, was yelling and spitting and being all round scary and gross, she was so in a zone, her eyes looked like they were gonna pop out.

I stood there waiting for her to get out of the way so I could pass and go to the kitchen. She was punching her hand, literally inches away from my face, saying, "I can take you down! I'm not scared of you, come on mutha fcker, come on!" I tell ya, I'd never seen anything like it! I was glad Elvis was there, to, hopefully chime in, should she completely lose it. I did not utter a word. Surprisingly, neither did El. I wasn't sure what to make of that. He just stood there and watched. She finally got out of the way, by then so many emotions were going through me, I was shaking. I got my water and went back to the bedroom. On my way back, she was standing in front of the bedroom. she always wanted us to keep the bedroom door closed because if the cats got in there and hid behind all the clutter, it was a mission to get them out. To spite her, I left the door open. She stood in front of the bedroom with both cats in hand and was shoving them in my face. The cats were ready to scratch me, they were making the sound cats make when they're pissed off. I was in trouble. El had already gone back to the bedroom. I stood there praying that the cats wouldn't scratch my face. Who knows what kind of grossness and diseases was under their claws? It was a very scary moment, a very scary day altogether, really. I cringe when I think about it.

When I got back in the room, El was about to leave. He, for the first time since I had moved in, needed to go somewhere and wasn't gonna take me with him. He always took me along. He said, "Don't do anything stupid ok?" All I told him was, I was going to call the police because she had threatened me and I wasn't feeling safe anymore. He persuaded me not to call the cops, he told me daddy is there for me, nothing will happen to me as long as he's around. I was like but you just stood there when she was in my face intimidating me. He said that that was because he wasn't scared. ER, hello! It wasn't for you to be scared! You weren't being intimidated, I was, WTF!

He left me there with that raging monster!

I locked the bedroom door and skyped my BFF's, my sisters! The sister was still carrying on and on about "you're going down mutha fcker, you're going down!" My sisters could hear her. It was a crazy day in that apartment that day. I sat in there until El came back. He was gone for quite a while. So much for the sisterhood!

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