Push me through the floor!

El had a very old computer that he didn't want to replace. He kept telling me he was going to take it in for repairs which he never did. I offered to have a look at it. One day, while he was at work, I worked on it. One of the issues was that the memory was full, he kept getting the Low Disc pop up. It still baffles me why, because he literally has nothing save in the hard drive. The mouse was also old and faulty, probably more dirty than anything else. He had to wiggle it every time he needed to use it.I lent him my own mouse which I got from my mom, so it had sentimental value.

He seemed happy to come home to a working computer to do his facebooking (read:Stalk his exes on Facebook) and to shop for car parts for his Challenger. He has two friends on Facebook, and goes by the name John Smith. He told me that when Facebook suggests a friend to you, it's always someone who has looked you up on FB. If that particular person's name goes to the top of the list, it means that person has been frequently looking you up. Okay, Mr. 2 FB Friends! I'll take your word for it! Especially seeing as you're going by a pseudonym. I'm sure people know exactly what that is! #RollEyes

He was so happy I fixed his computer, he offered to take me to his favorite burger place to buy us his favorite burger! Basically, he was so grateful to me, he wanted to show it by treating himself. I politely declined the offer. It wasn't for me anyway #Narcissism. A few days thereafter, he complained about something with regards to the pc. I explained to him that it had nothing to do with what I had done to the PC. When he brought it up the second time, I knew he was going to be a pain in the neck about it, so I quietly went to the PC and undid all that I had done to fix it. While working on it, in the living room, he got on a call on his Magic Jack phones (landline which works through the internet). When I was done, I restarted the computer unaware that he was on the phone. Next thing I knew, he came out of the bedroom, walk towards me ever so calmly and hit me in the head saying, "you disconnected my call"! He proceeded calmly towards the kitchen and drank Diet Pepsi from the bottle, as if he didn't just hit someone in the head. Or hit someone period. I was stunned! I literally froze!