Sunday, October 27, 2013

Meet the family

Missing my flight after having so much fun with Dan in Phoenix put a damper on things. I went to the American Airlines Desk and they got me a seat for that night. The following flight had been cancelled, so I had to wait another three hours. I wasn't going to ask Dan to come pick me up again, so I sat it out. I called Cindy, feeling like such a loser and told her I missed my flight. Instead of pm, picking me up around 7pm, she had to pick me up around 11. She seemed fine with it. Which was great, cos If she weren't able to for some reason, I would've felt worse. I opened up my laptop and chatted away on Facebook and with some guys online.

I had a date lined up with Paul, an older man who lived alone 5/6 years after his divorce. He was from Salt Lake City, Utah. He offered to pick me up from the airport. I politely declined. Time flew and before I knew it, it was time to board. I set next to a lady and a gentleman. Dude seemed like an intelligent type guy, the lady was either flirting with the guy or she has a very flirtatious vibe about her. I had to listen to them talk the entire flight. She was sitting right next to me, and him against the wall. I don't know if they knew each other or what but she was asking him all kinds of questions about himself, work, kids, divorce et al. I couldn't deal. I just wanted to get there already.

Well, get there, we did! As scheduled. Cindy left the house as soon as I called. African time? Don't know? Normally your ride will be there waiting for you when your flight lands. Anyway, she was doing me a favour, not her fault I got delayed. I had never met her. I only know her sister, who is my sister's friend of more than ten year. She brought her 3 year old daughter with her.

The car was spick and span! There was even shoe shine on the floor. I don't know if it was for the tires or somebody's shoe. When I commented on the cleanliness of the car, Cindy told me it was actually dirty and due for a wash. I thought to myself, Gosh, I hope I hope she is not a neat freak.

The house was even cleaner than the car. First, she took off the shoes she had on in the car and left them just  outside the entrance, she put on house shoes, I was about to take off my sweaty, smelly boots that I had warn hiking earlier on but she told me I was fine. Awkward. How are my shoes fine and yours not? But I went with it. It's a beautiful house! black and red living room, which looks very similar to ZS's. Remember her? My friend I crashed with in Fourways before moving to the US? Upstairs, there's another living room, beige couches, a very clean dining room, with a huge, spotless glass table and the kitchen, then up another floor is the bathroom and the three doors. I got my own bedroom (yippee!), she and her husband have their own and the lil one has her own too. Well, she owns the entire house. She did kick me out of "my" bedroom more often that not, there's no lock on my door, so the kid would just budge in whenever she felt like it to do whatever. Fun Times!

The husband works as a long distance truck driver, so he was away a few days a week. Nice guy, very friendly, likes to joke around, just wants everybody happy and to get along. He cooks too, He's from West Africa, so if you have any Nigerian friends, and have seen their cooking, it's similar. He, however isn't Nigerian. he wasn't home the night of my arrival, but he did call and extended his welcome to their home. Cindy was off my first two days there, which was great. I was so hungry when I arrived, she offered me a delicious stew and rice. It reminded me so much of my aunt's chicken. She's a good cook, my aunt, she will actually do an episode of my sister, Pumla Brook-Thomae's show,  Spekko Family Table on Bay TV in the greater Nelson Mandela Metropole. Check it out and if you're into food and all that, you can add her on Facebook, she's a cook and an actress. Her exclassmates are Colin Moss, Winnie, the lady who plays Khethiwe on Generations and the lady who played mamfundisi on Generations way back when, Vathiswa Ndara, she was also on Society and Home Affairs (I wish they had given the role of Winnie Mandela to her instead of my girl, Jennifer Hudson). Pumla did a few commercials, Shoprite, Spar to name a couple and a documentary on M-Net. Nuff about that, we had a mini conversation while I was having dinner, then was showed to my bedroom which had everything brand spanking new in it! From the bedding to the curtains, the whole nine yards! The lil one made sure to tell me too, that they went to Khol's to buy all that for me that afternoon.

I took a shower in the spotless bathroom, spring cleaned it after (and then felt like I needed another shower) and wend to bed. Soon it was morning. Cindy was up early, cleaning. I heard the sound of a bucket of water being dragged on the floor. She was using a washcloth too! Not a mop and definitely not any of these modern day cleaning utensils, which I personally prefer, because they make my life easy. I was like gosh, which means that's what I will have to do too. Because when in Rome...! She did the entire house. The house has hardwood floors, then the lounge on the ground floor (first) partly has carpeting. I'm talking about washing the floors, polish, dusting, cleaning the glass tables, everything! The house was clean to begin with! I was like, wow! Anyway, that was an everyday thing, sometimes she would spring clean morning and night. She won't sit down to eat before she has washed all the dishes she used to dish up (or out, American English:)). Even though we are going to do the dishes after eating.

I unpacked, lil one was right there, talking up a storm. She is definitely not a shy kid! Plus, she just lets herself into my room, there's nothing you can do about it. It doesn't matter if you're decent or not, she's coming in. Cindy took me for a tour of the city, at least just to show me the important things like bus stops, train stations, stores and that. Salt Lake is so much bigger than I had anticipated! It's beautiful and clean! There's a Mormon church every corner you turn. It definitely is the Mormon capital of the world.

We spent the rest of the afternoon chilling at home, watching the ID channel (Investigation Docu, I think). It's mainly about people killing their spouses. It's thrilling! At least to Cindy and to myself :)

Husband came home the following day. When he's home, you know! You can hear him! Not a bad thing, just a thing. I enjoyed his vibe! He's friendly. He came to my room and officially welcomed me to their home and told me to feel at home. Well, at home we don't spring clean the house three times a day, but I see what you're saying!

Cindy went to work the following day, of course, I got up and spring cleaned. I wasn't going to be that person who lives in people's homes and doesn't respect them. You just have to go with the flow!

She left the kid home that day instead of grandma (husband's mom). Husband was home. He took me to a flee market. We had a nice time with the kid. He was telling me, well, about his entire life really. how much he loves his wife, how he bought the house, the cars, he has a huge Toyota Truck and Cindy drives a Chrysler van. He told me almost anything whenever we were alone, up to his plans for himself should the wife leave him. I would be like, dude, seriously, you really don't have to tell me all things! First and foremost, I'm Cindy's friend and my loyalty is with her. You can't tell me stuff like this. It puts me in a very weird position. He insisted that if I am friends with his wife, I am his friend too. Well, friends or not, you need to respect my wishes, if I don't want to hear something, you can't rape my attention and force it down my throat! Pun intend.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

From Ontario to Utah via Phoenix

Later that morning, Mae came back home, she cooked one of her lunches. think, tons of mixed vegetables and macaroni all in one big pot, add salt, done! Nobody eats those though, they always end up in the garbage bin.

The second time, she had told me I didn't have to pay rent, never mind, that's what she told me the first time as well. Anyway, she told me to just buy myself food. I am not sure what caused the change of mind. Anyway, I just went with it. I made sure I had money for rent just in case, she changed her mind again. I don't believe in free lunches.

I got a call from my fried from Ontario that afternoon, she picked me up, we went over to her house, chilled. Always  a fun time with her. She always has a ton of stuff going on in her life, boyfriend, and all. She's originally from Colombia, South America; gorgeous girl. She took me home that evening. Mae was like, tell me about that b!tch, what happened, I didn't trust her from the get go. I thought to myself, is that why you went out of the room to take her cool about me that day and talked to her for thirty minutes? By gones!

Cindy and I talked more and more often. Her lifestyle is very different to anyone I've met here (even though I hadn't met her haha), she's is married, has a kid and a job. Very stable.

Two days back in Ontario, I got an email from Dave, It went something along the lines of, FYI I washed my phone, I will be getting a new one tomorrow. I thought to myself, Apology accepted for standing me up! FYI? Really? My response = k.
He messaged me back, I knew you were not interested in me, that's why you went quiet and blah blah blah. I was like, you asked me out again, I accepted, got ready, waited and you were a no show. How do you deduce from that that I am not interested? Needless to say none of that happened. He was right, I wasn't interested. He has a rotten tooth somewhere in the back which I blame for his breath stinking so much. I'm glad he didn't try to kiss me that night. Plus he creeped me out with his random deep stares and awkward silences. He rambled on and on, I tell ya, I have never met such petty men, people in my life! It's like there's no difference between dealing with a twenty something year old and a fifty or sixty year old. It's exhausting! #ICan't

Cindy invited me to move to Utah, live with her and her family, apparently there are lots of jobs over there. I stood a great chance of landing one. Of course I accepted! Anything to get out of there! I was ready for change. And a job! I went there as soon as she said I could be there! I got my ticket, my bags were already packed, I lived out of my suitcase at Mae's. I didn't tell her about the move right away. I had to move in a few weeks and anything can happen in that space of time. I waited until I had everything finalised, the address and all that, and a ticket. Her mood suddenly brightened up! She was so nice to me from that day on.

She would buy me lunches and donuts and all kinds of things. I think she was ready to have her room back, poor thing. But you know what, no matter the reason, at least, she was being nice! I'll take that any day! Of course, she told the entire town! We would go to the mall to hang out, window shop the entire afternoon and she would insist on buying lunch, I would too, and we'd end up going Dutch simply because, we don't have that kind of coolness, where we buy each other lunches. Why all of a sudden are you treating me so much? Nah, thanks, I'll pass.

The day drew nearer and nearer. We spent more and more time with my friend, she literally is my only friend in all of Southern California, so I treasure her. She invited me over for breakfast one morning. She cooked, it was great! My last night in California, we went out for Mexican, I treated. She was also my date on Valentines haha, we were like we'll be darned not to go out on Valentines! So we went out to a Mexican restaurant. It was nice! We even dressed up :)

I was over the moon to be going to Utah, not because I have always loved the state blah blah blah, no. On the contrary! I always imagined it to be a very village like state. Change is what was exciting to me.

I had been talking to Dan, the entire time. My sister's old online flame. They never got to meet. He lives in Phoenix, Arizona. My itinerary was Ontario to Phoenix, three hours layover in Phoenix and then from there to Salt Lake City. I told him about it. He had always told me I should go visit. When he found out I was going to be in Phoenix for three hours, he said he would meet up with me. Which was even more exciting. I wasn't going to get bored at the airport. The longest I have ever been at the airport, bored out of my mind was Istanbul, Turkey. Seven hours or so. In fact, that wasn't the longest, Heathrow, London, on my way from South Africa to the US, that was long, about eight hours but I wasn't bored. All Virgin Atlantic flights were delayed, so The airport was packed. If you have been following my blog for a while you will remember that story!


Mae promised to drop me off at the airport, she also told me her house is my home. I am humbled by that. The fact that she took in me, a stranger, let me share her bed with her, and still took me in after that Chinese experience, and was still nice to me, in fact, nicer! I haven't had a lot of that in this country, I must say. I appreciate her for that. Forget all the other things in between, she was there for me when it counted. My flight was early, nine am. It wasn't easy to say goodbye to her. Especially since we had gotten so much closer after she found out I was leaving. I remember her finally having a revelation that I was funny and I do not bad impersonations. I thought to myself, I have always been this way, it's just that you didn't give me a chance, it was always all about you and the fact that you got yourself this little person who was going to listen to your stories and your rambles. All good though.

She dropped me off at the drop off zone, I dragged my bags into the airport. I really should get rid of some, well, more like a lot of my stuff so I can travel light for a change. So far, it hasn't happened. That's why I won't buy furniture! Imagine having to move around so much with a ton of furniture! I was really early, more than an hour. I checked in and took advantage of the free wifi. I watched the rest of the bachelor, Shaun's season. And real housewives of somewhere or other. I was so excited, I literally was on cloud nine!

I had on my heaviest outfit to save space, you know how it it! I had on these knee high suede boots with rubber soles, and a velvet or whatever that material is called, tracksuit. It wasn't warm, just ok, so I could get away with it. And I heard that it was already called in Salt Lake City. An hour and a half later, we arrived in Phoenix! Phoenix is in the desert, IT.IS.HOT! I didn't take that into consideration I guess. Dan was there within minutes of my arrival. It was nice to meet him. What a pleasant guy. I don't think him and my sister would have hit it off though. Just Saying. He told me to take a few pictures of the two of us and send them to my sister to prove to her that he really does exist. You know, seeing as they met online and never really met met? I was like, come on, you guys talked over the phone for more than a year!

He took me for a spin around Phoenix. Big, Beautiful city! Very clean too. We went for lunch at a Jamaican Restaurant. We sat at a table for two, so we were seated across from each other. The restaurant was also part supermarket, very eclectic! I liked the setup. Dan was telling me about himself, his dating experience and how he hasn't had s3x in more than ten years and has no intention to until he gets married. I literally could feel the other patron's eyes on us. I was like, For goodness Sake, Dan! People will think I'm begging you for s3x, lower your voice! It was all in good fun though. We pretended we were on our first date. He has a girlfriend, South African girl from Thembisa, who when he went to see her for the first time (they met online), took him to her church; Zion. He was like, tell me about that religion.

After lunch, we drove around some more. Then he showed me the mountains where he normally hikes. We parked and went for a stroll. It was scorching hot out! The stroll turned into a hike. I was like, uhm, what are we doing? Where are we going? ARE WE HIKING? In the middle of the day while I'm on a layover, dressed as warm as I am in this weather? He was like well, we have to do something! I was like, with all due respect, Dan, I am not going to go on a hike, sweat up a storm and then go on a plane and sit next to people! I will not be that guy. Nobody likes that guy! Even though he didn't get my point, he just went along. We headed back for the airport. I was still on time.

I waited for them to announce check-in. I heard a few announcements about the flight to Salt Lake City, soon after that people formed a line, so I stood in line. I kept looking at the clock, it was time to leave and the gates were still not open. That's when I went to the guy and asked if there were delays. They told me my flight was about to depart, they had changed gates, that's what that announcement I missed was! I got a ride from those car things in the airport? The guy rushed me to the other end of the huge Sky Harbour Airport! We got there 15 minutes before departure. The gates had closed. I had missed my flight.

The Date

The entire time Dave was putting my stuff in the truck, Mrs was standing outside watching. I don't know if she was trying to intimidate us or what. Don't care.

Dave Drove off. I couldn't believe I was out of that hellhole! #ReleasedFromPrison
It was a beautiful day out, I can't believe I was freezing my hinds off in that newer, bigger house of Madam's. Free at last! Dave didn't seem very talkative. We talked about basic staff as we headed for Ontario. He suggested we dropped off my stuff at his place, go on our date, pick up the stuff, then head for Mae's. Of course, I had already talked to Mae the day before and she told me to go back, I never would have made her that kind of a surprise. I was like, so we just met and you're already taking me home? He was like, I won't make you do anything you don't want to do! #FamousLastWords. Puke! I wish guys would stop saying that. It's not cool nor smooth. Anyway, we went to Dave's place because he also wanted me to see his house.

It's right by the main road. It's a workshop. There are about six of them in the yard, they fix all kinds of stuff there. Some people were working on cars, some doing carpentry, you name it! Dave fixes Computers and builds guitars from scratch. Very impressive, actually. He had already given me his website, I had seen some of his work. To see them in person, at his place, very cute! His place is very cosy, actually. A one bedroom with washer and dryer, a shower and anything he needs really. He was starting over since the divorce. I don't judge. I have enough of my mess. He had done his workshop up really good. Oh and he had  a few motorcycles in there as well which added to the cool factor. When I got in, I got why he wanted me to see his place. It was cool, and different.

He dropped my stuff off, then we went to Claremont, a burb of or near Ontario. Cool place! Very eclectic! Restaurants, bars and all that. It reminded me of Melville, Joburg and if you know me, you know of my love affair with Melville! He took me to his favourite Record store. We window shopped there for what seemed like forever. Walked up and down the street, then off to his fave restaurant. Unfortunately the line was way too long. Dave is almost too quiet. I would make jokes just to break the silence, you know, good ole fashioned That's what she said jokes? He caught on and when I tripped and said, "ouch!" he went, "nobody every said that to me!" I mean.........! I still don't know if that was a joke or a fact!

We drove off to another one of his fave restaurants. Some family owned place that has been around for more than forty years. They had a long line outside there as well, but we had to eat, so we waited. He told me that their servings are huge. He usually only orders half a serving and even that, he cannot finish. When someone tells you that, it's hard to go ahead and order a full serving, especially when they are paying. So of course, I ordered half a serving too. #Cheapness
We had spaghetti and meatballs. It was absolutely delish!



When they brought our food, I literally went, OMG it's huge! (the serving), he was like, "nobody ever said that to me either!" with totally a straight face! Dude was sitting across from me, the table wasn't that big, I didn't know what to say, how to react, where to look. I was just like, hahahaahha. I mean, awkward! Why are you telling me you have a small p*nis? I don't need to know that, not tonight, not ever! There was a long pause where we were both looking into each other's eyes. Oh maybe it wasn't that long, it just seemed that way?

After a few spoon fulls and a series of awkward moments, we left. We picked up my stuff from his place and he dropped me off at Mae's. The dogs were all in the house, they were barking endlessly, everybody was in bed, Mae wasn't there. It was hectic. I felt bad waking up people at 8pm. I had told
Mae what time to expect me, she was cool with it. Thing is, she wasn't home! I did the walk of shame to the bedroom, fortunately she hadn't locked it. She locks it whenever she's not in there. Even if she's hanging out in the living room. I called to tell her I was there, she couldn't talk, she was at her boyfriend's.

All in all, it was a nice day. Dave asked to see me the following day. There was going to be a biking event in Long Beach. He asked if I wanted to go with him there. That sounded exciting! But I had a feeling I'd never see him again. I accepted. The following morning I chatted with my niece on Whatsapp. She asked what my plans for the day were, I told her nothing. I mentioned in passing that that guy had asked to take me out. I told her I didn't think the date was gonna happen so I was sleeping in. She was like, so you're not gonna get ready because of a feeling? Er, yeah!
No word from Dave all day that day!

Back to Ontario, bye China, bye Lake Elsinore!

While talking to My Mrs, she had warned me to never tell "the men from the internet" where I lived. She didn't want anything happening to her half white child. I was like, of course not! I don't have strangers come to my place either. What do you take me for? Granted? Get it? :)

The following day, she had to work in her office and had some errands to run, so I hung around the house with Kid,  playing Chinese/English learning games on the Tablet. I was talking to a guy named Dave. He lives in Ontario, across the street from where Mae buys her Donuts! Dave seemed like an ok guy, divorced, grown kids who no longer live with him, owns a house in Mexico, biker dude et al. He wanted to meet up asap. Especially seeing as we weren't that far from each other.

I also talked to Cindy, my sister's friend's sister who lives in Utah. I told her about the misery I was in. She gets it, she has had her share of interesting experiences in this country. I tried to get hold of Mae, to no avail! She never returned my calls. I was like, this is something! I'm officially screwed! There are no buses from Mrs' house nor anywhere close by. I wasn't willing to spend a ton of money on a cab just yet. My friend from Ontario called to check up on me, she also offered to pick me up. That, I wasn't comfortable with! She's a nice person, I didn't want her to go through all that trouble for me.

I had to make a plan. Fast!

Dave and I had plans to meet that Sunday, It would have been my off day. Don't ask me off from what? I wasn't working! My position had been changed. I myself no longer knew Martha from Arthur!Saturday morning, I was supposed to be looking after the kid while Mrs worked, she wouldn't leave the child's side! I greeted them that morning, she grabbed the kid and held her tight, as if I was going to steal her. I got confused. Everything was ok the night before! The child tried to come play with me, she wasn't allowed to. Can you say, Fun Police?

I didn't know what was going on but wasn't about to ask. I am no longer that person who will discuss things to try and clear the air, especially not in people's houses. If you are a host, it is your duty to ensure the atmosphere is livable for everyone. Mrs took kid for a drive, don't know where they went, didn't care. I was chatting with Dave via text. I thought, you know what, even though I am not a big fan of being a damsel in distress, I'm just gonna tell him what's up. He asked if I wanted to move our date to Saturday instead and have him move me back to Ontario.Brilliant idea! He was going to make that trip the following day, anyway, all he had to do was make it a day earlier. Plus it's not like I was hectically busy working that day. Clearly things had changed AGAIN. 

I packed my bags AGAIN, put on a cute outfit and a night gown over it just for the element of surprise. Mrs had made copies of my ID, I had taken a picture of hers too. Just to spite her mean s, I gave Dave "my" address. I told him to park in the driveway! I mean, in all fairness, where was he supposed to pick me up? I had baggage with me! I was moving house, AGAIN! Plus the Mrs wasn't talking to me, it's not like I was going to ask someone who wasn't talking to me to drop me off somewhere, even though I'm 100% sure she would have jumped at the opportunity. 

Mrs just got back when Dave arrived, she was shaking! I don't know what shakes mean in Chinese! She may have been nervous, scared, angry or just cold. Do I care? I took off my night gown, put on my boots and went to her office, I asked for the copy she made of my ID back. I wasn't gonna have some random person walk around with my ID! She handed it to me, I dragged my bags through the office, the kid asked if I was leaving, I said yes and bade her good bye, that part was said for me. Mrs was holding on to the child as if someone gives a darn about her and that child of hers. UGh, so annoying! Dave had parked his huge Truck in the driveway. Loved it! He got out of the car, I walked towards him, gave him a hug and went "nice to meet you!" loud enough for the Mrs to hear. I wanted her to know that that was a stranger to me. That I had just done exactly what she told me not to and brought a stranger to her house. Whatever, what are you gonna do? Fire me? B*tch please!

She stood outside the entire time ave was putting my stuff in the truck. I had my sunglasses on, couldn't care less! 









Monday, October 21, 2013

One week in China

My new boss told me she was going to pick me up in a few days which she did. She brought the daughter along. Daughter was cute as can be! We went to the nearest supermarket and she bought a few groceries. The mother, not the three year old daughter :) She told me to pick a few things for myself because she didn't know what black people eat. I picked some fruits, veggies and chicken. She told me she was surprised that I picked only healthy foods seeing as I'm so fat. She asked if I was trying to lose weight, which I just laughed off.

On the way to Lake Elsinore, where she lives, she was telling me how much she likes Mae, she has a beautiful house, however Mae's house is a tad bit smaller and older than hers. Hey, who cares? I don't! She went on and on about black people, whites and Chinese. Her baby's father, who she met at University is white. He was much younger than her, 12 years. (younger, not old :)). He was handsome, which explains why her biracial kid was so beautiful. (according to her). Her kid is precious, because she is biracial and I have to help her keep an eye on the kid. She doesn't want the kid getting kidnapped blah blah blah. Apparently her kid looks more white than Chinese, which makes her that much more special. It was pathetic really. You don't love your child because she has white blood in her but because she is your child and it is your duty as a parent to love her. That's my two cents' worth. Plus that child looks 100% Chinese. Delusional much?

Her house is an hour or so away from Mae's. I left Mae crying, telling me to call her anytime and tell her if that B*tch (Mae's words) was mean to me. She would pick me up and take me back home. Her house was my home and I was welcome there anytime. That was a very nice thing for her to say. An hour or so later, we arrived at the bigger, newer, more beautiful house #SideLook
I mean it's newer and empty. Mae's house is fully furnished and warm. This lady's house still needed more furniture. It was cold in all senses of the word. She showed me to my room. I was excited to have my own room. There was a sleeper couch in there, which was narrower than I am tall, so lying down, my feet would hang. I guess she measured it on herself. We had a huge steel table in there, and a lamp stand. It was ok, I guess.

Part of the deal was that whenever she was available, I was to let Kid spend time with her and try not to interfere. She didn't want her child getting confused as to who her mother was. I was like, fine by me! My job was only to work two to three day per week anyway. The following morning, she asked me to tag along. We went to the Chinese market to get more groceries.  While talking, the night before, I mentioned that bread is my weakness. She bought tons of bread, cookies, anything pastry like for me! Nothing costing more than a dollar each. She told me later on that all that was mine because the food she likes is very costly and she wasn't going to offer me a room, pay mer and still let me eat her expensive food. Condescending Much?

She fed all the fruit she "bought for me" to her daughter. She didn't realise that her daughter liked fruit that much. Whatevz! The following afternoon, we had a talk. She confirmed how much she was going to pay me, which she had reduced by a hundred dollars already. I was like, that was not the amount you told me before! She looked me in the eye and was like, yes it was! Not it wasn't, call Mae and ask her, she was there when we discussed all this! She wouldn't call me. That left a bad taste in my mouth.Mae called that night for an update. I told her everything. She seemed shocked that that lady was already doing me like that.

Day three, The lady wanted to work, so she dropped Kid and I off at the park. It was nice to be outside and see other people. That area is cold! My room was literally the coldest in the entire house! I could feel the Air conditioning running in the entire house but nothing in my room. I'm not sure how she got that right.

I had sleepless nights, partly because of stress of what I was going to do next, disbelief that someone could do a person that way and still expect said person to take care of their precious child. Like, where's the logic in that. I wasn't crazy about moving back in with Mae, but I was considering it. I also didn't want to be that person who quit a job, you know? The lady showed up hours later to pick us up. Kid was having so much fun, bullying all the kids in the park.

When we got back to the house, Kid and I were attached to the hip. She's a really fun and intelligent child. Mother got jealous. We had another talk. She told me she likes me, I fit right in with her family. She also liked the fact that I like Chinese food, whatever! She had made Chinese for us for dinner since I had got there. It was delicious, I love Chinese. Plus, she made stuff I had never had before. Even better! She told me that she also liked that I was computer savvy, she wanted me to help her around the office. She was tired of working. She wanted me to teach her more about online dating, make her over, she knew if I did, it would take her no time to find a man because white men like Chinese women. They don't like blacks at all, I need to get over white men and start dating within my own race. As soon as she met her wealthy, white man, she was going to hand over her entire business to me and move to San Diego with her man. That's her dream place to live. B*tch, I've already lived in San Diego!


Anyway, she also told me that she thought she could manage with her daughter, she was already jealous how I was getting along with her daughter. She thought it would be a better idea if I would rather change my position from being a nanny to being her companion. She needed a friend more than she needed a nanny. She would then NOT pay me AT ALL and just let me live in her house free of charge and feed me. WHHHAAATTTT THE HELL! I looked her in the eye and literally froze! I couldn't believe my ears. WTF

In one week, my position had changed, my salary had changed, everything changed!












Sunday, October 13, 2013

I got the job!

When nothing came out of the job, I had practically been offered, I had to think again and think hard. I posted a few ads online Employment Wanted. I was still sending out my resume. It must have somewhat come out that I had posted an ad online, Mae asked me to post one for her too. All of a sudden, she was seriously looking for a job. She came out of retirement! She was right there at the library with me applying and stuff. Day after I posted her ad, she got a response and subsequently got the job! She's still in that job. Talk about a slap on the face! She works for three different branches of the company, she asked me numerous times to go with her and, I don't know, watch the grass grow while she works? I refused every single time!

She has a Nigerian friend who owns a Computer store. We would go visit often. Apparently he has always had a crush on her, but he's married, has been for 20 years, then it came out that he has a gorgeous house, then his wife is very lucky to be with him, I found out they had dated for a while four years ago, but nothing came of it because the wife's mother is Mae's ex neighbour. Then I found out that they were together for a very long time but Mae was over being with a married man, I was just like, you know what! Whenever we went over there, they always flirted and kissed in the mouth, then he would spank her butt. One afternoon, she told him my entire life story and asked him to hook me up with a good man. #EyeRoll

He has a friend who is a pasta. The friend, apparently loves black women, blah blah blah. They called him on the phone and made me give him my number, The friend talked for like ever on the phone, about himself and how is a good catch, he loves younger, black women and he knows how to please them in bed, he tried telling me how he makes his women squ*rt, I was like, er, yeah, I gotta go now, bye! While on the phone with Pastor Pervert, who by the way has a project in Africa, he goes there often and he was telling me about how poor people are in that part of the country, women be walking around braless, you can see their breasts through their thin, old and torn blouses. Far as I'm concerned, he is a freak who needs to get the heck out of my continent! I can only imagine how many women he has given orgasms in that village, seeing as he is so good in bed. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! So while on the phone with him, Mae and Friend were going at it, make out session, he was caressing her breasts, she was moaning. I kid you not! This is a tiny, little office at the back of the store, I was right there with them. Just because I was on the phone doesn't mean I wanna watch you guys have s*x, I mean, really now! Who does that?

I walked out, they were like, get back here! WTF! No, I don't want to! What!!!!!

Pastor Perv called again one random morning, he talked about s*x again, I had to go, we never talked again. He had told me he wanted to meet me, I should go to LA and spend the weekend with him at his house. I was like, yeah, I'm good, thanks. If a guy wants to see a girl for the first time, he should go pick up the girl and take her somewhere private to spend time. He told me he was going to see when his friend would be available to pick his s up, dude doesn't even have a car? Who doesn't have a car in LA? Well, him, I guess. One random morning, I got a call from Mae's friend. If I didn't know better, I would say he flirted with me a little bit before telling me who he was. Can you say creepy? Of course, I didn't go there with him, I got no time to play, WHO AM I TALKING TO first! He then asked if he could bring Pastor over to the house that afternoon, he wanted us to get sometime alone, he would take Mae with him, blah blah blah. WTF is this? I didn't need that kind of time alone with that random, weird, pastor, I had never even met! I agreed, knowing that I wasn't gonna do anything I didn't want to do. He never brought him over! Go figure!

We never went back to the church Mae took me to my first day there. In fact, we never ever went to church again! Don't ask! Apparently, she used to have a crush on the pastor of THAT church growing up, but he went on to get married. She was currently dating a Pastor from a church who she met on blackpeoplemeet, a website where, you guessed! You meet black people! They are still together. They were already dating when she went on third base with the Nigerian PC Store guy. She went on a few dates with a few different guys. In her defense, she's not married, so... I enjoyed watching her get ready for dates, she dressed so beautifully! She has more than 50 bottles of different kinds of expensive perfumes! If you know me, I love me some perfume, but she got me beat on that one! She always brought food home from the dates haha, that was different! She would then eat it over the course of the week. Anyway, the food that we bought after church on my first day in Ontario, was put away and locked up in cupboards, seriously! She locked it up! So as has always been the case with all my living arrangements, starting from Georgia (Eastern Europe), besides Perry, I would go for "walks". That's when I would get myself something to eat and a few items to stash in my bag. It was harder living with so many people and sharing a room with someone. She bought herself donuts every morning, and would buy take out for lunch and dinner. She sometimes offered to buy me stuff but I couldn't.

By the way, two or three days after moving in, she told me how much I had to pay for rent which included meals. Which were locked up in cupboards.Story of my life, always pay for food I never get. Maybe they think just because I don't look hungry, I am not?

After about a month and a half in Ontario, I responded to an ad. They were looking for someone to take look after their 3 year old kid two or three times a week. They wanted a live in au pair. I was like, I think I can do this. The lady called to interview me over the phone. It went well, we got along like a house on fire! I was excited! She arranged to come see me in person. I told Mae about it. She was so happy for me. The lady came over, Mae was home, we all hung out like old friends, it was nice. The lady was Chines, well, still is Chinese haha. She told me she was going to think about it and get back to me.

Mae got a call that night while in the bedroom with me, she took it outside. She always took all her calls wherever she was, she is always on the phone! That particular one was different, I guess. She came back about thirty minutes later and told me that was the Chinese lady! She wanted to ask a few questions about me. She told me not to worry, she put in a good word. Uhm, then why did you take the call outside, I asked, in my head.

A few days later, the lady called, I got the job!







Saturday, October 12, 2013

The Interview

Days became weeks, which in turn became months in Ontario. I was job hunting but it's a very relaxed area with nothing much going on. If I was a drinker or a stoner, I'd probably always be on something in Ontario. I took a break from dating. Mae would drop me off at the library whenever she went that side. It would be a nice change of atmosphere. She always took me along whenever she went wherever though, so that was nice. And that was almost all the time.

I started getting emails and calls back from employers and agencies. They don't have wifi at  Mae's so I would either use my phone or the library. She asked me what I was doing at the library all that time, I would spend, literally the entire day there. Why not! I would also watch some tv shows over there and use the earphones that El almost killed me for buying! I told her what I was doing. She is retired. Next thing I knew, she was applying for jobs, left, right and centre. I was like, great. That automatically reduces my chances by 50%.

She offered to take me if I were ever to get called for an interview because there was totally no public transportation there The place is really for retired folks. I got called for my first interview! So nervous! I told her about it! She took me there, the lady was late getting to the office, so we hung out in the parking lot for a while. Mae was confident I was going to get the job. The lady finally arrived. She called me in, Mae was asked to come wait inside too, instead of in the car. She brought her stuff with her, I mean Certificates, resumes, you name it! She came prepared! She came and sat right next to me, in fact the moment we went in, she asked the lady if they needed someone to spruce up their office for them, because she is good in interior decor, then she offered to be a tea lady, then she took over the entire interview telling the lady about herself, her experience, and how SHE  would be the best person for the job. How do you compete with a 62 year old retired lady who is letting you stay in her house and with whom you are sharing a bed? It was awkward! I wanted to undo the whole thing and not be there! I couldn't believe what was happening before my very eyes!

Whenever I saw a gap, I would try and say something, she would agree and one up me. When we were done, the lady asked for my number, Mae gave the lady her number as well. Walking to the car, I was dumbfounded. I mean, I wasn't going to confront her but I was still shocked. What kind of person am I dealing with here? She went on and on about how that job is so mine (AGAIN!), She had a feeling they were going to call me, she just knew it! She told me not to worry about transportation, she would drive me to and fro. Yeah, ok, I'm totally looking forward to that #SideLook

I got a call that night. It was the big boss. The position was that of a caregiver. They were looking for someone who would take care of the big boss' mom. He gave me another interview over the phone. It was promising! He asked me to go to the house the following day to meet his mother. He was happy with me. I was ecstatic! I didn't know what to tell Mae. Which didn't matter because she followed me to the bedroom to listen in on the call and was busy talking to me, asking if it was about that job and telling me how to answer questions she couldn't even hear.

The following day, it was nice and cold. Mae and I got ready, we started off at the donut store, she has donuts and coffee every morning. She told every body in there that I got a job and she was right when she said I was going to get it. It seemed those people were clued up about my story. We got there just before the boss. It was a gorgeous mansion! I was so excited. Well, I google earthed it the night before already haha.  Don't judge me, I had been unemployed for a very long time! Mae was dressed to impress. She must have been up to something. She has very nice clothes too, LOTS! Anyway, the guy called me outside his car, we had ANOTHER interview. A weird little interview, where he was asking me if I dress the way I was dressed or not, blah blah blah. ugh, whatever, I could tell that he, for some reason was no longer interested. He told me his mom was asleep. He would call later to let me know if and when she would like to see me. Never happened! Not surprised! Mae was disappointed. If anyone can believe that.




Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Pay, B*tch!

We arrived in  Ontario two hours later. It was a nice drive there from LA. I had never been to that side before. I was looking forward to seeing it in daylight. All the grandkids weren't home when we got there. Turns out some of them live with their mom. Their father lives with his mom and some of the grandkids,four dogs (a few pit-bulls and a chihuahua) and a few cats. The house is huge and very clean, smells good too. Nothing compared to where I came from in LA. Mae took me to her bedroom, she told me to find a spot for my stuff. It was late, I didn't want to waste any more of her time putting my bags in her room if I was still going to have to move it to mine. Well, THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY ROOM TOO! I got confused, but didn't want to come across as rude and unappreciative. I thought we had talked about the living arrangement and I had asked her over and over if she had A room for me. A ROOM! Which I was willing to pay rent for. Turns out, nope, we were going to share a very beautiful, cosy bedroom, with ensuite, nice smelling bathroom. Same bed. It's a king, but still. It's different when you moved to a place under the impression you were going to have your own room. On the flip side, it takes a very nice person to let a stranded stranger who lives with freaks to move in with them and share a bed with them, that I don't take for granted.

After dropping my stuff, we walked the dog around the block, very suburbia! The dog's a very sweet pitbull, nothing like the scary one which stays outside. This one was a house dog, she and the Chihuahua were house dogs, then there was another pit bull with was a little bit of both. Very sweet dog! And I', not even a dog person. Nor a cat person! On our walk, Mae got a lot of calls from people who were asking her about me. She must have been very busy on the way to LA to have told just about everybody on her contact list about me!  The following morning, Sunday, I was sound asleep, first peaceful night's sleep I had had in months. Or since San Diego (Perry's - where I had my own room)! Mae woke me up and asked if I wanted to go to church. Uhm, not really! She guilt tripped me into agreeing, so I did. Service wasn't that long. From there, we went to the Gas station (petrol station), when we got there, she filled up the tank and then told me how much it was! Meaning, PAY BTCH! Good thing I had my wallet with me, cos that we had not talked about but I was learning. Remember how she insisted I didn't have to pay her back a dime? Well, that didn't last. I felt better paying, because then it meant I would have some rights; even if, only in my head. You know what I mean?

We then went to the supermarket.We bought a cart full of groceries, I was wondering if I was paying for that too but she did. With the money I had just given her for gas. Don't ask! Around 4 in the afternoon, I was about to pass out with hunger, I hadn't eaten since the previous morning or so because I spent the rest of the day plotting a way out. We bought $1 burgers for everybody, +-7 people. I couldn't wait till we got back to the house to gobble it down. The smell was killing me!

We went straight home from the burger place, thank goodness! Mae cooked dinner, everybody had a burger. I hung out around the kitchen with her. Still familiarising myself with everything. She is hilarious and very easy to talk to about anything. And she's absolutely gorgeous! She used to be a model. She's 62.

We had dinner almost as soon as it was ready, it was delish! Mae used to own a restaurant, so she's a great cook.

The following morning, I noticed the same thing I noticed when I put my bags by the bedside; that the edge of the bed by my side wasn't stable. I thought to mention it, so she knows before somebody thinks I broke a bed. She freaked out! She yelled and told me I broke her bed! I was dumbfounded! One thing about me, I suck at defending myself on the spot #DelayedReaction. I got so overwhelmed, I'm in a new home, with like, a thousand people, I am not sure what the deal is gonna be, especially now that I am sharing a bed with this person who starved me half to death my first day there, like, should I buy my own food? Is it gonna seem strange if I do? How will I pay for electricity if I use hers to cook for myself? Are we going to share a bed, Is her hot son single? Dude is H.O.T.T. hot! I kid you not! Six pack and all! And he's not afraid to walk around the house shirtless. Daaayyyuuummm! El who? Of course, I wasn't gonna go there! The last thing I needed was to complicate my life further than it already was. I was definitely not trying to date.

The bed didn't seem like it was broken, it seemed more like something had come undone or something. I wanted to have a look but Mae was like, do not touch my bed! blah blah blah! I was chocking up, I felt so helpless! She called Hot Son and told her about the broken bed. He was in the living room. He came in and was like, "I  told Phillip that he didn't fix this bed! It's still got the same problem it had before he fixed it!" MAaaaaaan, he shouldn't have said that! Tears went rolling down my cheeks. I knew I didn't break that fcking bed! Who tells a person that they broke a bed when they know that said person did not break the bed? I thought to myself, who is this woman? What is she trying to do? Is she trying to get me to buy her a new king size bed? Pity I sold my custom made one to a "friend" who still owes me for the stuff I sold her way back when I went to Georgia. Some friend! Anyway, Mae was like, I told Phillip blah blah blah, who cares what she even said! Just the thought of her admitting to Hot Son that the bed had been that way for a while and she even had someone try to fix it, made me puke in my mouth. It changed how I saw her. I'm sorry but She will forever be that person to me.That was very mean girls!

From then on, I really just wanted to sleep on the floor but didn't want to make a bad situation worse, you know?







Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Good Bye Los Angeles, hello Ontario!

As soon as El left for work, I was up, making phone calls, emailing people, doing whatever I had to to find a place to stay. Sister was out for the day, I had privacy, which was great. A friend of mine, that I never met called a friend of hers. She then called me back and told me the friend has a place for me. I could the friend, we'll call her Mae, she told me she lived two hours away, could pick me up and have me move in asap. I wanted to know if she actually had a room I could rent from her. I was so done with freebies! As we all know, there is no such thing as free lunch anyways. She told me she had room. I kept asking, "do you have a room?" She was like, yes, I have room! I wanted to negotiate rent and rules and all that before I even moved there, to see if it had potential of working out. She told me she didn't want my money, she just wanted me to be safe, she lived with her grandchildren, if I was ok with that, she didn't care about anything else. I was like, please think about charging me rent, I will me more comfortable that way. My thing is, once someone offers to do something for you free of charge, you end up being indebted to them for life. I don't like that feeling. It automatically puts you in a position of inferiority to that person. It's hard to come out of that place. Maybe it's my skew way of seeing things?

I asked her how much she was going to charge for picking me up, she told me not to patronise her. OK. I was willing to take the train, but it was getting dark, I had to pack, quickly before Sister got home. It  was going to be a while before El got home. I wasn't worried about him. Mae was on her way to pick me up in LA as soon as we hung up. I packed, well, I was living off my Walmart luggage set anyway. Remember the one El told me wasn't good enough for his girlfriend, therefore he was going to buy me a great set from Sears? Never happened. Then he told me he was going to use the money he owed me (remember trip to Universal Studios?) to buy me a set? Never happened? Never got the money back. Good thing I wrote it off as being mugged the moment she borrowed it from me.He had also told me he was going to buy a clothes rack for me, never happened. I lived off "a suitcase" the entire time I was there.

By the time Mae got there, I was done, and ready to hit the road, Jack! I couldn't be more grateful to this stranger for doing this for me when she didn't even know me. I packed my stuff in the trunk of her nice Chevrolet, ran back to the apartment, left his key and I was gone! G.O.N.E! Best feeling in the world! In fact, the feeling I had leaving that place was much, much better than when I moved in!

I got to meed Mae, she had a friend of hers in the car and her dog (Mae's dog). Everybody was lovely. I felt safe immediately. Thank goodness! It was a nice two hour drive back to Ontario from Los Angeles. This is not the Ontario in Canada, it's the one in California, near Riverside. As in the Riverside Killer. It's also not far from Big Bear, the resort the Forresters from The Bold and The Beautiful own a cabin at. Which is also where Christopher Donner, was captured and killed. You must have heard about him, the former soldier who lost it and killed ex boss or whatever? Anyway, it's beautiful there, mountains all around and snow on the mountain tops in Summer. It was a little cooler than LA but still warm enough. Very peaceful. Just what I needed at that point in time.