Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Gossip Girl


When I got home from the date, Lil one wanted to know if the guy with blue eyes was my boyfriend. I was like, nope, just a friend.

The missionaries kept coming to the house to teach me about the church and the book and all that. They are fun girls, I actually looked forward to spending time with them. There was going to be a baptism in one of the churches, they invited me to tag along. I was like sure, let’s do it! They picked me up. Well, they got a ride with someone from church, a nice, young girl, their age group. We drove for about thirty minutes to where the baptism was. Teary eyes, testimonies, blah blah blah, then food, then home. They always made an appointment to meet again at the end of every meeting with them, which totally beats showing up unannounced.

There was going to be some kind of a conference service, called Stake something. All the congregations in that neighbourhood (stake) were going to have one service in one of the bigger churches. Someone was going to give me a ride to church. I told them I would be totally fine. I could either walk, take the bus or a cab. They insisted. I didn’t know who was going to pick me up yet. I got all ready and heard a knock on the door. EXCUSE ME, MORMON, EVER HEARD OF A DOOR BELL? Why won’t these people ever use the door bell? I am passionate about this because here I am in someone’s house, the husband works shifts, and is trying to sleep because he is a truck driver, it’s not like he can catch a nap later on while working. When he is sleeping, we keep the noise levels down, then these Mormons rock up and bang the door. Not cool man, not cool at all!

It was Sr Rose, fck! Hi Sr Rose, thanks so much for the ride, how you doing? Hugs, blah blah blah! I didn’t know what to say to her in the care, she didn’t say anything either. Another awkward moment with the momons. We found parking space, she walked me all the way to the front in church, were her entire family, except the daughter with the boobs, was sitting. Awesome. I have to face that man again! Her husband. I sat between Rose and her youngest daughter with autism, she was busy on her iPad the entire time, she doens’t bother anybody, nobody bothers her, and Rose. Husband was sitting against the wall. He did suggest they all take me to the park that afternoon after church. Like I wanted to spend another moment with them, laughing and playing, oh heyll naw! I did agree though, because isn’t that what you do?
I had to go and ask how her daughter is doing, the other daughter, RD. It literally slipped out my mouth! ‘She’s fine, she’s fine! Did you like her?’ Really Rose? That’s the route you choose to go? Did I like her? Is that a normal question? Especially about a daughter you know fully well is unlikeable? I was like, well, uhm, ehm, err....

She looked me deep in the eye for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know what to do or say. Church soon began. I couldn’t focus. I was busy having a delayed reaction about the way her daughter had acted the previous Sunday at church. I was getting really pissed off. Her question about whether I liked her daughter made me fume more than I thought I could about that situation. I thought I had let it go! I was made at the entire religion at that point. I excused myself and went to the restroom, she offered to come with me! What? Are you kidding me? Am I back in Georgia, I know how to walk to a toilet, thank you very much! AKA leave me the fck alone, I am trying to take a breather from you people! She insisted, I insisted. She asked that I leave my handbag behind, I refused. That gave me an idea. Maybe I should go home! Her suspecting that I was leaving gave me an idea to leave, isn’t that ironic? I went to the restroom, texted back and forth with my niece, we both agreed, screw these people. I don’t need this. I left!

In Utah, Sundays are dedicated to church, the prophet, the book and all that is LDS. There are no buses operating. I was on such a high, I walked home. I didn’t care if anybody saw that I was leaving, I was done! D.O.N.E! I was on the phone and walking at my own pace, it was hot outside, I didn’t care. Ten minutes from the house, a man in a bicycle rode past me, slowed down and went, in a very creepy voice, ‘want a ride?’ It was Rose’s husband! Don’t ask me why he was on a bicycle and not with the rest of the family in the car. A few minutes later, Rose showed up. She stopped the car, got off and walked towards me. Then started tearing up! The fck is up with these people! Why are they so emotional?
Brook, I’m so sorry!
WHAT FOR?
You left!
I KNOW
I’m sorry!
FOR WHAT?
That you left!
I’M THE ONE WHO LEFT, MAYBE I AM THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGISE, WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING FOR MY LEAVING?
If there’s anything I did to upset you, that cause you to leave.
WHY DO YOU THINK IT WAS YOU?
Because after I talked to you, you left
PLEASE DON’T APOLOGISE IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE APOLOGISING FOR. I GOTTA GO
Can I offer you a ride
NAH, THANKS, I’M GOOD.
You know what pissed me so off about the whole thing is that I have a feeling she has an idea that her daughter and I didn’t get along quite well and yet we are tiptoeing around that. I hate that. So if we’re not gonna talk about that, leave me alone, let me walk the rest of the distance home. I had already walked for fifty minutes, another ten minutes was nothing really. She wanted to hug me, I was just like, I gotta go. I mean, why are we hugging? What’s going on? What exactly are we doing here?

I kinda brought up RD to the missionaries, on our next meeting. I just asked them what kind of person she is. They were like, oh yeah, we are so sorry we were not there that day, seems like we missed out. Everybody is talking about how you brought a guy to church and everything. Uhm, like and...what? They wouldn’t go into detail but they wanted me to. I told them, it’s cool, I don’t wanna be the girl who spread rumours. Water under the bridge. I did hope never to see that girl ever again though.