Friday, January 23, 2015

And That's How The Cookie Crumbled

All in all, it had been a nice first day as a Nevada Resident. I went back to the room, did some house hunting online, then went to sleep.

There were lots of places available near to The Strip aka Las Vegas Boulevard, which is where I was looking because, well, I didn't move to Vegas to live deep in the valley far away from it all. Plus, I needed to be close to public transportation. I made a few phone calls. Most of the apartments in the neighborhood were under rental agencies. They wanted me to provide proof of employment. Well, mam, I don't have one! I just moved to town in hopes of getting a job once I settle into my apartment! One of the agencies wanted me to pay Three times one month's rent, because I didn't have proof of employment. I thought about it for a moment, but then again, I was like that's too much money to entrust a random person with. What if when it's time to move out, they come up with stories and I lose all that money? I decided to let them be my last resort. 

I did a little bit of research while I was still in LA and saw tons of accommodation where they would be like a small deposit, or no deposit, month to month, no lease. Where were all those places now that I was in Vegas? I decided to look some more. If all else failed, I cold always just pay daily at the hostel until I found my own place. 

It was very hot! Vegas in hot in the summer, yo, this place doesn't play! I have experienced some hot summers, and Vegas Summer may be the hottest. I mean, the Summer in Utah was pretty up there as well and the one in Akhaltsikhe, Georgia. Is it me, or are the summers getting hotter? I mean, I wouldn't know, every summer, I'm in a different location altogether; 2014 - I was in Las Vegas, Nevada, 2013 - Salt Lake City, Utah, 2012 - New Haven, Connecticut, 2011 - Akhaltsikhe, (republic of) Georgia, 2011 - Uitenhage, South Africa (two summers and two winters in 2011 because I moved from one county to another during the  summer while it was winter in the other country and vice versa). I watched the backpackers check in and out of the hostel, going oit on excursions and stuff. I let some of them use my phone during meal times. I have unlimited calls, texts and internet. The hostel charges an arm and a leg for local calls, I didn't mind. 

It is pretty busy, that hostel. Busier than the one on Hollywood Boulevard I stayed at. It could also be the time of year I stayed at the different hostels. People were sleeping in the daytime and going out at night. Brilliant idea, considering the heat during the day. I wasn't on vacation, so I was on a totally different schedule. The room was always dark, blinds and curtains were always closed cos there was always someone sleeping. I thought that was fair.You want light? Go outside! There's plenty of it and a side of heat for free ninety nine!

I had changed my location details on the dating site weeks before moving to LA to Vegas. I started hearing from Vegas guys from then. I use the word guys loosely. In my opinion, there are guys and then there are, I don't know, others? I remember hearing from this man while I was still in LA who seemed very interested in me. He wanted me not to even bother looking for a place of my own to stay but to move in with him AND HIS MOM. Yeah, that'll be a no. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, burnt it, threw away the ashes. Thanks though, boo boo! The guy is two years older than me, so age appropriate, for a great change but! And there's a big BUTT BUT! Everything else wasn't going to work for me nor him for that matter. First, we chatted via email, then he asked for my number, he wanted to talk on the phone. I was like this guy is serious, I likey!

While Chatting with Mama's boy, I was also talking to another guy. He was older. He told me he doesn't do endless texting and email exchange. He wanted to talk over the phone. I was like, sure, why not? I mean, if he's a creeper, I can always block his ass. He gave me his number and asked me to call him. I don't know if it's me, America or the times but I see a lot of guys here who give girls their numbers and 'asks' them to call them. By ask, I mean, they say, 'call me!' So, basically, it's not even asking, they give girls their numbers and tell them to call them. I decided to text the man and have him call me. I just texted, 'hi, SoAndSo, it's Brook'. He asked, Brook from where? I was like WTF? We just exchanged emails. I didn't say that to him but I sure thought it. I just texted him back lol. Meaning, well, whatever you want it to mean, it differs from case to case. He called me and apologised for his text, saying he didn't mean to be rude. I asked if he knew who he was talking to. He said, you're the one with a kid, right? Definitely not! He asked me which one I was. I told him that unless he knows who he is talking to, I wasn't going to continue with that conversation. I said bye and hung up.

He texted back immediately, 'Sorry, Brook. I'm about to enter the freeway. It's very noisy where I am, I couldn't hear you clearly. I don't want to lose you. You're such a beautiful woman. I'm flattered you even want to talk to talkl to me. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy." Cute and all but at the risk of sounding like an obnoxious celebrity, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I never responded to his text. He was too all over the place for me, plus I had packing to do. He called back in about ten minutes. He seemed to have figured out who I was. He probably went back to his emails and put two and two together. Like 90% older man in Vegas, he is a war veteran. Not that old! Some of the are in their forties. The ones I've talked to are all unemployed and getting some kind of a check from the government that they are very proud of. While we were talking on the phone, I heard a familiar sound; it was the bus ticket machine, soon after that, I heard the voice thingy that tells you what the next stop is etc. I asked him where he was. He told me he had just gotten on the bus. What?!?!?!?!!? When he told me he was about to get on the freeway, I assumed he was driving. Didn't you?

I hate to say it, but when I heard that, I just rolled my eyes. That was one more nail on the coffin. That and the fact that at his age, he was neither working nor trying to find a job. What am I going to do with an unambitious man like that? He's not too old to work! He told me he was released from the army forever ago, because of some minor injury. As we were talking, he mentioned that he does work downtown Vegas as a volunteer peacemaker or something like that. The people love and respect him there. When he tells people to pick up trash after themselves, they do it! Whoop de fcking doo! That's how I wanna spend the rest of my life. Listening to him tell me how may people he forced to pick up their gum after they threw it on the sidewalk for no pay! I could care less! I don't want his money but I would like him to value his time more than working 40 hours for free. Doing the same thing other people do for money, but for no pay. That's just ridiculous to me. This reminds me of when I was getting kicked out of Cindy's house by her husband. When the Mormon Bishop told me that he could get me a full time job where I would work for a plate of food. God forgive me for what I just said to the Bishop in my head, Amen!

The older guy and I talked for about 30 minutes. Half of it was repeats because I think he is hard of hearing. Probably age because, quite honestly he lookes 15-20 years older than he said he was; or something happened during his army days, what with all the banging from the machines and bombs. What do I know, I'm just a girl from Africa. He mentioned that he was on his way to his sister's house to help her out because he loves to help people. Ok, whatever! nobody cared about that! I don't care how good a person you think or say you are. Prove it! Surprise me with your actions of kindness, don't preach it! So to keep the conversation going, I asked him how far his sister lived from him, if she had a family of her own. I mean, why would you have to go all the way to your sister's house by bus to help her around her house if she is married? I had to ask. He told me that that was personal, it was none of my business and that I had crossed the line. He got very worked up about that. I apologized, rolling my eyes. I mean, at this point, that's all I can do having dealt with all the kinds of loonies I have. We ended the call, and that was that.

I continued packing quickly. I had a show to go to that afternoon. The younger guy guy called. He told me he just wants one thing from me, and it will be a done deal. Like, I can move in with him and his mother. As if I said I needed a place to stay. He asked if I could..Oh Lord, my skin crawls just thinking about this. Yuucckkk! First, I asked him to please not ask me anything sexual. I'm not about that! he told me it wasn't sexual, it's just something that he likes. He really likes it. It's not a big deal, I probably, won't mind doing it. I tell ya, I had a weird feeling about this. I literally was panting up and down, freaking the freak out! He asked me if  I would mind spitting loogies on his face when we're together. Now, here's the thing; I had never heard of this term until then, but he used spit, so I knew it was something I wanted no part of! I never want to spit on anyone, don't wanna think about spit, talk about it, or even think about it. For those, who may never heard of this word before; I'll save you the time to google search and, share with you the 'top description' of the word from the internet (Yuck Alert!) ; TOP DEFINITION 
a large slimy glob of spit, mixed with nose snot, that is formed by coughing up and hocking whats in your throat. 

He went on to tell me that he wanted me to chew up some food and mix it with the grossness and spit it on his face. I was like, are you nuts? Noooooo! I will never do that to anyone! I told you not to talk about anything sexual, this, right here, is sexual! It's your fetish, that's sexual. WTF dude! He got really mad, he said that  I was judging him blah blah blah. I said, listen, dude, I don't know you, you don't know me. I am not here to tell you what to like and what not to like. Go ahead and like your gross stuff but I want no part of it. If this is what you're into, it's obviously a big deal to you and a deal breaker, which is fine by me. He told  me that his exes all did it, they didn't mind. It's not a big deal. I told him, it is. He had told me that he is 39 or so, had been married for 15 years since he was 25. He has a 25 year old from the marriage. Being the quick witted, smarty pants that I am, I added up the figures and had to ask how long he had been divorced for, you know, to see if it all adds up. so far, it wasn't because, it meant that he was 14 when his son was conceived or even 13. Which doesn't add up because he was 25 when he got married. Anyway, He told me he had been divorced for 2 years or whatever. My point is, this dude was all over the place. Clearly he was due for some loogie action. Overdue. He got mad and hung up. HE hung up on ME!

Then he texted me, and apologized, he told me this wasn't a deal breaker for him, I didn't have to comit just yet. If I can just tell him I will think about it. This guy is on some welfare situation, he sits on the couch all day and watches tv and plays video games. I told him it would never work out. Bye Felicia!

So that's how the cookie crumbled with those two guys, but I was still talking to others here and there. You know how internet dating is, well, or you don't, in which case, keep it that way! I got an email from a really cute guy. as the one and only, Elvis Presley sings,
'Well, Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy Miss Clawdy
Girl, you sure look good to me
But, please, don't excite me, baby...' Dude sure excited me! I was like, what have we here! Green eyes, you know, I like them blue, but I'll take beautiful eyes any color I can get them! He had long hair and amazing skin. I responded to his email not expecting anything in return. HE WROTE ME BACK! And again, and again and........