Friday, April 15, 2016

How To Unclog a Toilet

When Brian woke me up in the wee hours of the night to tell me that he pooped, I was so pissed! I took a breath and asked what was going on. He told me that the toilet wouldn't flush. Apparently, he tried flushing it for a while before he woke me up but didn't want me to be mad at him for not telling me should I need to use the toilet. You know, when you appreciate someone told you something but are still mad that they disturbed you, so you just wish the whole thing didn't happen period? That was me. 

I tried to flush because there was nothing in the toilet, just water and some toilet paper. Water raised to the top, I was sitting there with my eyes popping out of my head, oh my goodness! He was like, "Did you flush? Oh noooo!" I was thinking, well, you shouldn't have blocked it to begin with! Toilets block. This happens to the best of us, but when you're the one on the receiving end, in the middle of the night, it's a real challenge to be sweet about it. 

Brian had school the following morning. He told me that he was going to try to take care of it before he went to school. My thinking was, this is someone who doesn't consider my feelings, he was always late; what was likely to happen was that he was going to oversleep, as usual, then get up, rush out the door to his Uber and go to school, leaving me with a house smelling of faeces. This was someone who would clog the bath tub/shower with his hair. I don't know how many times I told him to watch out for stuff like that because the apartment management wasn't going to pay to remove his falling hair from the shower. 

I went online to see how to unclog a toilet. I had fixed a clogged toilet before in Vegas. All I remember was that it was so easy, I remember using warm water, I don't remember anything else. I saw on one of the sites that I could use vinegar and baking soda (bicarbonate of soda). The only vinegar I had was my expensive Apple Cider vinegar, but it was desperate times and Brian was going to have to replace it. I used that and baking soda. I always have those two around the house for their plethora of health benefits. Look them up! That didn't help. Whatever was blocking the toilet from flushing wasn't playing!

Brian is in and out of the house, there's poop smelling water on the toilet floor, he was getting ready to step on my rug with that, I was like, God, no! I put newpapers on the floor for him and told him to layer some on the bathroom floor as well, then throw them all away. He asked if I had gloves for him. Sure! This is someone who wanted to step on the poop and then on the floor that he was sleeping directly on. All of a sudden, you need gloves. I gave him my dishwashing gloves. I also gave him a bucket. He went to the kitchen and asked if I had a big pot. UUUHHHMMM FOR WHAT? He was going to use it in that whole mess. I told him I didn't want any of my kitchen stuff in the bathroom. Like,for what? I gave him a jug and whatever else he could need, and asked him not to go to the kitchen with those feet. Yuck!  The whole house was smelling like sht. Literally! Brian wasn't even stressed out, he was stepping on the sides of the newspapers I layered for him on the floor, all the way from the toilet to the front door.

I was thinking to myself, is this a sign? That it's time to let this guy go? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that never would have happened to me. I'm just saying that was the icing on the cake. 

Brian only had to leave around ten the following morning for school. He told me that he was tired, he wanted to get some sleep. I told him sure, it's not like we were getting anywhere with what we were doing. The following morning, he went to a hardware store and came back with the long wire thing to unclog a toilet. He used that and then came and knocked on my door, ever so excited. He asked me, 'Didn't I tell you I was gonna take care of it? I fixed it! See? I'm a man of my word!' I was happy for him cos for the first time since I knew him, he saw something till the end. I didn't even have to remind him in the morning. He went as far as cleaning the floor, with my brand new mop, that he had to replace. After that, I had to throw away everything he used. Clean up some more, to satisfy my germophobic side. He told me to replace everything and tell him how much he owed me. I did him a favor and bought whatever I could get from the 99 cents store, to save some money as that was an unexpected thing. 

I could attach pictures for you but I love you too much! 


Unknown said...

Hahahaha. Pictures or no pictures I have a mental picture of the mess

Brook said...

Oops! Am I bad!