Friday, June 21, 2013

Please, don't go!


I didn’t tell Perry about my plans to move. They had nothing to do with him. He was kicking me out, I was going to leave he should be happy.
One morning, I was in the kitchen, on the phone with El. Perry came over,
Perry:    Hey Brook, I need to talk to ya!
Me:        Ok, talk.
 Perry:   Oh, you’re on the phone, sorry, when you’re done!
Me:        We can talk now, quickly.
El was like, you know what?  I’ll call you later. Why don’t you hear him out. I did. Reluctantly.

Perry wanted to know if I had found a place to stay yet. I told him I was going to move out by the end of the thirty day notice. He denied that he gave me specifically 30 days. Err, yeah, you did!  He told me I didn’t have to leave, he had been thinking. We could work something out. Uhm, There’s nothing to work out, it’s done! We’re Done. You wanted me out, I’m going to leave. What could you possibly want from me now? He told me he enjoyed my company, it was nice having someone around the house (really? Could’ve fooled me! Why then did you keep sending me off to random shopping sprees and Sh*t?). He told me how he appreciated how I cleaned up his house and made it feel like a home again. I brought him happiness when he had given up on the chance to ever be happy again. Blah dee blah dee blah, finish up so I can call my boyfriend back, you indecisive freak! Long Overdue! That was not the time for him to be getting all sentimental to me, I didn’t wanna hear it. I was good, thanks! I didn’t care.

He liked me, the dogs liked me, He wanted me to stay there longer and just help out with the bills. He wanted me to rent the room I was living in for $100 (R1 000) per month. That wouldn’t pay the house note or anything but would help pay the utilities. Uhm, again, I didn’t care! I laughed in his face and was like, “So you want ME to pay YOU  to live with you?” I mean, was he being for real? Must have been that green stuff he was smoking. Seriously! Don’t move me all the way from one coast to another and then tell me to rent from you. You want a tenant, go on Craig’slist, dude. Come on now! Don’t make your problems mine!

He went on and on about how I didn’t have anywhere else to go and he had two spare bedrooms and we got along, why not rent from him. Plus he was thinking of renting some of the rooms out but you never know what kind of tenants you’re gonna get, he already knew me, so why not me? Because definitely not me, fool! Leave me alone! What the heck? You’re ruining my appetite, I’m trying to make some breakfast here. Do you mind? I didn’t say THAT to him but It was written all over my face. Anyway, so that deal was off. I wasn’t gonna do that. What was I going to tell El? Oh and P.S. I’ve decided to stay with my ex! Plus with everything Perry put me through, changing the course of my life like that, he deserved nothing from me. The thought of withdrawing money from my bank to pay Perry for anything still makes me cringe. He wouldn’t stop talking, it’s like he was on a zone, he was desperate. “C’mon, gurl! Help me out here! I’m desperate here!” Whatever freak! I walked away, into my bedroom, back on the phone and talked to my boo boo.

A few days later, he came and knocked on my bedroom door. “Hey, Brook, are you sleeping? (not anymore, obviously!) I brought you some chocolates from my mom’s. Here! Have you thought about what I talked to you about?” No, Perry, there’s nothing to think about! Leave me alone!

A day or so later, same thing! He knocked on my door, It was Pringles that time. I told him I didn’t want any more of his snacks. If they were a bribe to get me to live with him after he kicked me out like I was some random homeless person, who was crashing in his house illegally! Heck no! He told me he left the Pringles in the kitchen for me, no strings attached but could I please consider his ‘offer’ cos I was never gonna get a better offer anywhere else. He also wanted to know where I was gonna go? Was I going back to Africa? New Jersey? Was I gonna move to LA? Had I found a place to rent just around the corner from him, what? Uhm, none of your business, dude? All you should concern yourself with is that you want me out and I’m going to move. Where I go, if anywhere specific, you should have thought of that before you kicked me out! What happens if I, hypothetically speaking, take you up on it and you kick me out again?

What happened to the reasons you were kicking me out? Don’t they stand anymore? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t have anybody at the house while you were still going through the divorce, it’s still not final. What’s changed? Please! Make my day!