Monday, August 26, 2013

Adoptions and Fast Food

I ended up not going to the police. My sisters kept me occupied and calm on Skype. Imagine if something had happened and I was begged not to go to the police. How was I to get hold of El, he doesn't even have a cellphone! My gosh!

They recycle plastic at the house. As if there isn't enough going on in the apartment, there are garbage bins full of plastics, Pepsi empty bottles, yogurt, etc, very annoying. Sister is the one who does the recycling to make some pocked money for herself. One afternoon, El needed to go collect a parcel of his from a friend slash colleague of his. Here's a short story about this friend, it's a story I was told so many times, I could die!This guy is 28 or 30. He's gay, El is supposedly straight, the jury is still out on that! El is obsessed about this guy, he would like to ADOPT him! HE WANTS TO ADOPT A 30 YEAR OLD MAN! Is it me, or does that just not make any sense whatsoever? El wants to adopt a man who is the same age group as his girlfriend! This man, who he wants to adopt has his own apartment, nice apartment in a much nicer neighborhood than El's. That's where El has his mail delivered. It's a good 20-30 minutes drive from his place.

El's reason for wanting being so obsessed with adopting this man is because the guy is such a good person, he has a bright future ahead of him and El would like to mentor this guy, he (El) feels like he has a lot to offer, this guy and the world and this would be his way of giving back. WHAT THE FREAK? WHAAAATTTT? He told me that all his exes rolled their eyes whenever he told them that. Er, are you surprised. Poor El! the 18 year old he "dated" before me was a girl he met at work. He saw how intelligent he was and how bright her blah blah blah, he then decided to take her under his proverbial wing and mentored her. I hope he put a condom on his wing! She was the one who pushed to have a relationship because she found him so irresistible. He really never wanted to date her. Yeah, el! Okay! #BlankStare

On our way out to the car, heading for the Prospective adoptee's, El asked me to grab the garbage bins. I was like, oh no, this is not trash, it's your sister's recycle stuff. El was like, I know. He said so with such a smirk on his face. You just never know what that man is thinking or up to. But it's always no good, whatever he's up to. He told me he's the one who bought the stuff to begin with, and from the way she had been treating me, she didn't deserve the stuff, he was going to recycle the plastic, to spite her, if anything else. Wow! Ok!

He was yapping in the car about the guy and how  much he really wants to adopt him, whatevz! We got to the recycle yard, some of the bottles were never opened, full of Pepsi, and were ready to explode from the heat. Some were half full, we had to empty them up. I was so not interested. I kept pinching myself, what had my life gotten to? I mean, it was homeless people and us! El cut in front of all those people and went straight to the front. Lord, so embarrassing. Where did I find this man? All of a sudden he is better than the people at the recycle yard, dude, you're here for the very same reason they are, chill out! They let him cut in front of them, he can be very charming, how do you think he got me? The guy's a salesman!

We got a little more than $5. He came in the car going hahahahaha, you know the evil laugh? I had a feeling, he wasn't trying to spite nobody, he was putting cash in his pocket, he needed it! WE drove forever to the guy's house. El was going to pick up a cart, one that looks just like the one I paid for when he "borrowed" money from me after our amazing time in LA.

I got hungry on the way there, we had left the apartment before lunch, daddy said he would buy us lunch on the way, he asked what I wanted. I was like, anything. I'm easy to please :)
We passed to many fast food places, he kept saying, the next one. Then he told me he wanted me to try some hot wings, highly recommended (probably highly cheap too, but who's counting? Right?) . Then he was like, no I will get you pizza. Then it was fish burgers. I said, you know what? KFC. What? KFC! Or the colonel! I'm like, who says that? " It's the colonel! Colonel Saunders!" Uhm, I know that, but nobody calls KFC that, come on now! "we do, here in the states!" Ai, I rest my case! Anyway, he told me we had passed KFC, he was going to buy it for me on our way back.

We arrived at his "adopted son's" apartment block, which a nice place! I asked El if his colleague can afford to stay there, why does he move there too, cos he told me he likes the place. He was like, I knew you were going to say that. Every time I bring a girl here, they ask me the same question! Ugh, turn off! Why you gotta bring up your exes every time we talk about stuff, yuck! the package was outside this guy's door, or at least some random person's apartment door, we got there, we grabbed it, we left. It was really random. That could have been any body's parcel really. Turns out El had never been inside that apartment. For all you know the poor guy doesn't even know he has his parcels delivered there. for all you know, he doesn't even know El plans to adopt him! Maybe he's not even up for adoption! His probably not in the system!

Anyway, we left, with me exited, I was finally gonna have something to eat. It had been a while since I had KFC. As we approached KFC, El, told me it was going to be cheaper to get me Buffet. That way, I could have a variety of food. Ok! At that point, I didn't even care. He told me he wasn't hungry, he was just going to get one meal for me. Fair enough. weird, cos he's always hungry, but ok. I'll take it!

On our way to hometown buffet, we drove past a van (caravan),he asked if  I would still love him if he moved us into one of those after his mother dies. I was like, say what nah? He laughed and told me he was serious, he had been planning to do that for the longest time. He told me he doesn't get why people pay so much rent for accommodation when they spend most of their time at work, he said all he needs a house for is for sleeping. He was going to downsize after his mother's passing. I was like, what is it about the men I date? Is it me or what? For some reason, they all want to downsize into caravans. Of course we spent a while arguing that those are not called caravans, whatever Mistra Know It all! I thought to myself, I'd be damned! I didn't come to America to be homeless. Especially with a much older narcissistic man, over my dead body! I quietly went, "of course, I'll go anywhere with you! I love you!" He laughed and said, I hope you will still love me when we live in a van! We got out of the car and he was like, "You're going to pay, right?" AWKWARD! all this time, he knew he was going to make me pay? I mean, I don't care, but why did you waste so much time, if you knew I'm paying? I could have bought food at the first place we saw!

Remember the reason he took me to Hometown Buffet was because it's cheaper and I was going to get a nice variety of food. I got there, he picked two containers (one for me AND ONE FOR HIM!). My treat! He was treating himself with my money! What a loser! Gosh! My heat beat faster and faster, until I had to say something, I was like,you said you were not hungry, all of a sudden, you're hungry and I'm paying, plus this place is more expensive than KFC, what is this? Don't get me wrong, I don't care about any of that, my point was the principle of it. He pissed me off, that's all! He was acting very shady!

He just smiled, and ignored my pissed offness, he got tons of food, telling me, he was going to share with his sister and his mother. Boy have I head that story before. We all know his sister and his mommy live in his belly. We dished up, I paid, we left. I started eating in the car, he asked me to spoon feed him. Meaning, I shouldn't eat, I should dedicate my time to him. Always the case, so annoying. Plus, I thought you weren't hungry? He got pissed that I wasn't doing it right, so he grabbed the fort and started focusing on the pate.  HELLO, L.A. TRAFFIC, eyes on the road, driver!

We dropped the package off at his storage in Hollywood. When we got home, he took whatever was left of his food into the bedroom, munched some more, then put sloppy left overs in the fridge. He told his sister that was going to be his lunch for the following day, they shouldn't touch it.