Saturday, November 16, 2013

Melt Down

The Monday after the Non Date with Michael was going to be my first day at the new school. I didn't have time to wallow in self pity. Laura and I dissed him and called him every name in the book, that's all the therapy in got, it's all the therapy  I needed.

She had spent the weekend at her sister's after her sister was arrested for violating her probation. It was just her at her sister's and her sister's boyfriend who is also her fiance's cousin and the guy who raped her. She told me her sister's boyfriend was so nice to her that weekend. He apologised for the rape telling her it was a misunderstanding, he thought they had a deal, I will give you money if you give me a lil some some. She forgave him. He told her he had always had a crush on her. He ended up with the wrong sister, blah blah blah, she believed all that BS. Really Laura! At your age! (she's in her mid forties). Apparently he cooked her a nice dinner, they sat at the table and talked and really got to know each other. There was another guy at the house that night. Another cousin, who is not only a cousin to Laura's sister's boyfriend but to Laura's fiance. Confused yet?

Laura told me she saw her hot tub which she sold to her sister when she lost everything. She got nostalgic and got in. The other cousin, the one who is not dating either of the sisters, jumped in with her, they made out and almost had sex but cousy's member couldn't stay up. Apparently he was so under pressure. Excuses schmexcuses! She had no reason sleeping with any of those men to begin with, her man is in prison. She told me she hadn't had any since her fiance got arrested but she can't say the same for him, hahahaha!

I timed myself according to the directions on Google Maps, got up, took a quick shower and rushed for the bus stop which was turned out much farther than I anticipated. It was 30 minutes away. Yup, that far! That's Utah for you! 30 minutes to the bus stop, I missed it! I was across the street at the traffic lite, tired as heck, waiting to cross when it came by. The bus drivers there don't look around, they will pass you and not even think twice. I was so tired, having walked and ran uphill with bags, and sh*t. It was a great way to a very hectic week. I was definitely going to be late for school that day. Not the impression I was trying to make, but hey, bleep happens.

I stood there, wondering what to do with myself. I had to wait another 30 minutes for the following bus. If I had known, I would have just left the house thirty minutes late. It didn't help that as I walked out the gate from our apartments, I came across a dog. Dogs and I don't get along. The thing was gunning for me. I kept crossing the street to get away from it, it was following me like, well, a loyal dog! It was just the two of us on the street. I had to pick up rocks, my shoulders already felt like they  were about to fall off due to the heavy bags, Lawd!

I started walking towards the direction of the school. It was too far to walk though, I didn't know what I was doing. I came across a man who was driving out of a car dealership. He looked at my boobs and asked if I (or they?) needed a ride. There was no time for pride, I accepted. He asked for my number. He wanted to meet up again to talk about my boobs, I politely refused. He dropped me off right in front of the door of the school at 8am on the dot. Thank goodness! I  registered, we started class as soon as everybody was registered.

There was so much information to take in! We had an hour's lunch but it was called a working lunch, they gave us some reading material for during the break. I met a girl there from Africa, Somalia. We became friends instantly. She was cool people, she spoke some Zulu, freaked me out a little bit there! She'd go, 'asambe!' (let's go) out of the blue, I would feel like I was hearing things haha. Fun!

After school, I had work. It was going to take me an hour to get to work, meaning I would get there around 7pm, then would have 2 and a half hours to nap, but where? I could go home but it was going to take me an hour, including the 30 min walk, then another hour at night to get to work from home. Totally a waste of time. I opted to go to work. I was going to figure out what to do when I got there. Some girl who had a permanent fake smile offered me a ride. I refused, she kept insisting. She took me to the car, her husband was driving, she didn't even know which direction my work was, neither did I. Her husband seemed confused when he saw her approach with a bag lady aka me. I immediately told them both I was going to be ok, I had to go. I left! The black guy from my class, who was sitting next to me saw me walk to the train station, he game me a ride, I accepted. I say black because there were only three of us in class, the girl from  Africa, the guy and I. He was nice to give me a ride regardless of where I was going.

We set next to each other every day until the end. He's cool people, he reminded me so much of my brother, Lunga.

I arrived at work before 7pm, asked the nurse if I could crash in one of the empty rooms until before work that night. She wasn't allowed to, so she asked if I had a driver's license. I told her I did, she told me to take her car home and back that night. That was so nice of her, she hardly knew me. I couldn't do that though! I hadn't driven here long enough to be confident driving on the 'right' side of the road. She snuck me into one of the rooms. I never asked her again though, I didn't want to get her into trouble.

During break, while still at school, I had texted MB to ask her if she was going to be working that night. I thought that if she was going to work, she could give me a ride (in exchange for Mc Donald's the following morning), that way I wouldn't worry about wasting all that time on the road. It was only a ten minute drive to work from mine. She never replied, normally, she always replied to my texts, almost immediately. I didn't bother to tell her why I asked or that I was no longer going to need the ride or whatever because she didn't come back to me to begin with.

That night, I got up around 9:30pm, took a quick shower, put my scrubs (uniform) on and went to work. I had so much homework! My gosh! MB texted me while I was trying to sleep to find out if I needed a ride. I told her I no longer needed it. She asked if I was ok, I told her I was. Go figure, she probably wanted to call 911 again smdh. She arrived that night at work, walked right by me and bumped me! I thought that was not only rude but high school, especially for a 42 year old mormon. Thanks to my delayed reaction and my ability not to react when someone does something for attention, I ignored her. She was talking over me that night and acting really nasty toward me. That was new to me because even in school, i was never that kid who gets bullied.

We had three aides at night, one for each wing and one who helped out with both. I had one of the two wings, the guy who I liked, in a, you're a cool colleague type way, had the other wing and MB was floating. As a float, you have a few rooms designated to you and then you help out the other aides. MB was busy doing unnecessary paperwork on the guy's side, ignoring her rooms which were right next to my wing so I was responding to her rooms instead of studying. I know I didn't get paid to study but I could if she could do what she was getting paid for too. I was losing my patience, no pun intended. I asked her over the radio if she was going to be taking care of any of her rooms that night of was I supposed to take care of mine and hers. She went, "EXCUSE ME!' She has anger management issues, she was ready to fight. I wasn't. I was ready to study. I needed her to start working, so I could go on with my life. She came over to my table, where I was trying to study when I didn't entertain her when she tried to be dramatic over the radio. She was so angry, she was panting up and down, having trouble to breathe, a hot mess, I tell ya! I focused on the book. First thing she said was, 'you're walking home tomorrow!' B*tch, f*ck off! Why would you think that's a big problem for me? I have had bigger mountains to climb and I did just fine without you, why would you think I need your sorry *ss to take me home! Youre're not be all end all of my life! I can take public transport. Plus, I wasn't going home that entire week, so I don't know what the f*ck she was on about you're walking home tomorrow. You're buying your own Mc Donald's tomorrow! What a Jerk! Who says that to a friend? Ugh. Needless to say, I am just venting, that's how I felt but I never said any of that to her. I completely ignored her.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! YOU HAVE BEEN USING ME ALL ALONG, PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND! NOBODY LIKES ME! I WAS WONDERING WHY YOU LIKED ME, YOU DIDN'T, YOU WERE USING ME FOR RIDES. THAT'S IT, I'M DONE! NO MORE RIDES FOR YOU! WE WILL SEE WHO IS GOING TO TAKE YOU HOME TOMORROW! I WILL NOT BE USED. TELL ME THE TRUTH, ADMIT IT! YOU WERE USING ME, WEREN'T YOU?"

Did I even look at her? Nope! I heard her because she was right there, literally yapping into my ear, otherwise, she was the least of my concerns, drawing attention to herself in a nursing home where people had serious problems, in the middle of the night. She went on and on, panting up and down. Then she burst our crying, she was having a melt down! I thought, you know what, I'm gonna let her let it all out. She obviously needed the release. I would suggest she get laid but she was a 42 year old virgin, so... 'YOU WERE MAKING FUN OF MY RELATIONSHIP, NO FRIEND DOES THAT! YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND, MAKING FUN OF ME BECAUSE I AM STILL A VIRGIN, BLAH BLAH BLAH'. #delusional. I never made fun of her, who am I to make fun of her virginity? It's her choice! Hard as it may be to believe, I don't think about her v*gina! At all!

She went on for a good while, then came and sat at the table across from me and said, 'Shame, are you studying? Would you like me to help you? Let me Help you! Will you need a ride tomorrow?'