Sunday, February 9, 2014

Move out! NOW!


I moved to Speedy’s just before the end of the month to Speedy’s. He had told me I could do that and didn’t have to pay since his then roommate move out early. He told me that he just needed help with rent for the winter, otherwise he can afford the place by himself, ‘he makes good money’. If I hear someone (who doesn’t make good money) tell me that one more time, I swear I will drop dead. Gorgeous. Get it? Haha. He told me that he was so happy to have me there, his previous roommate is deaf and dumb, he was happy to have someone he could talk to, without having to use hand gestures and writing everything down. The previous roommate was a bubbly girl, she was very friendly, regardless of her disabilities, she looked like she was in my age group, she was chubby, like me, and all that. I found that rather interesting. She was a black girl. Speedy is a white older man, 56. Anyway, as we got to spend more time together, talking, I learnt that he always had a roommate, roommates always ended up being live-in girlfriends. Which somewhat explains the honeys and why he tried kissing me twice already. Speedy moves fast! He didn’t have anything nice to say about any of his exes (ex roommates/girlfriends), which made me wonder. The one who moved out before me had apparently moved in just before the end of the month, her story was very similar to mine. He told me she (like every girl he comes across) tried to ‘get’ with him. He wasn’t interested, he didn’t want to involve himself in a complicated relationship with a deaf and dumb person. YEAH RIGHT! And I’m Mother Theresa! Are you kidding me? The writing was so on the wall that it was the other way round and she wasn’t interested, he is always ready for a relationship. Thirstiest man I’ve ever met! One day while browsing through his pictures on his phone after he had asked to take a picture with me, I saw a ton of similar pictures of him with other black girls my age group, including the girl who moved out before I moved in.  It was creepy actually! What was I gonna do, I was already! All I had to do was spend as little time as possible at home, and start looking for another place. Let’s count how many times I moved last year alone;
January 2013 – Lived downtown LA with Elvis
February 2013 – Lived in Ontario with Mae
March 2013 – With the Chinese woman for a week (then back to Mae’s)
March 2013 – Salt Lake City (Utah with Cindy)
May 2013 – Salt Lake City with Laura
June 2013 – Grey Eyes for a few days
July 2013 – with The Roommate who owned the place
October 2013 – in a hostel in Hollywood
November 2013 – with Man in Hollywood
Novemver 2013 – with Speed in Hollywood
And already, I had to find another place to stay because it was clearly not going to work out with Speedy. Don’t you just envy me all that packing and moving and adjusting to new surroundings only to move out a month later? I know I would if I weren’t me.NOT!

Speed told me that I didn’t have to use the couch, I could sleep on his bed, he didn’t mind. I had just gotten the job with the client and was working full time, five times a week. I worked nights. Speed ‘worked’ day shift. He told me we could share the bed, especially seeing we slept different times of the day. I wasn’t interested in that idea. I move more than enough and have lived with enough people in the past year alone to know what will work and what won’t. That wasn’t going to work. At least not for both of us, maybe for him but I didn’t move in there for that kind of a relationship. I thanked him but politely refused his generous offer. How Chivalrous of him! He told me that he hadn’t watched TV since the previous girl moved in because she never left the house, she was always lying on the couch watching movies. His couch and his tv, she rented the couch from him. I don’t know what the terms were, so I wasn’t about to get involved. I told him that he should take one of the chairs from the dining room or buy another one because he tells us that we can use the couch when we moves in and is so fast to flip the scrip on us once we get there, it doesn’t make sense.

The couch is pretty long, It was probably 6ft, I’m  5’4”.  I told him to squeeze in below my knees when he wants to watch tv but I wasn’t going to sleep on his bed with his smelly s blankets. He seemed offended that I wouldn’t take him up on his offer. He thought it was the most normal thing ever for random strangers to share a bed. I didn’t. What do I know? I’m just a girl from Africa.

He played me some songs on the guitar and sang for me. His band does The Beatles covers. He’s not a bad singer, only problem is he suffer from shortness of breath, so when he sings, he sounds like he’s about to cough. He would come for a hug after serenading me. I didn’t feel comfortable with that, so I would be too tired anytime he wanted to play me songs. I just didn’t feel like bonding with him, not at that point of our relationship, not ever! I wanted to pay on the first of the following month, so that when the fit hits the shan (get it?), we wouldn’t have problems regarding dates, and times of moving out and all that. He told me it was month to month from the 1st of the month until the 1st of the following month. We talked about rent, I told him that I was waiting for my check from Utah, which I was, I told him I would pay him by the first for sure. He told me that I would have to pay for the last few days of November as well. I was like, uh, you told me that I didn’t have to, that’s why I moved in early, otherwise,let me move back to Man’s where I have already paid for November and move in on the 1st. What kind of a weirdo am I dealing with here?

He told me that he was attracted to me, he was happy that I moved in with him, he was convinced we would definitely make it work, blah blah blah, he told me how good a person he is and how he has taken care of previous women he has lived with. He was married three times, the third wife wrote him a letter after the split, he read it for me, I was so rolling my eyes as he read it, I really could care less. I needed him to read that letter for me like I needed  a hole in my head!

He asked what I thought of him. I told him, nothing. I wasn’t thinking of him. I really wasn’t. I also told him that I am not looking for a relationship, definitely not with a man I pay rent to, to me it’s like he wants me to pay him for sex and that just doesn’t make sex. He must think very highly of himself for him to expect me to pay him for sex. That was a first, even for me. And I’ve gone through some stuff in my life! He told me I misunderstood, he loves me blah blah blah, don’t care!

I was on my way to the back to withdraw rent money, I asked him about utilities, when he expected me to pay for them. He told me he wanted the whole amount at once, in advance. That didn’t make sense to me. I told him that it only made sense if I waited until he got the bill, showed it to me and then asked for my share. I don’t care what my share would be, I just want to see what I’m paying for. He got livid! He told me to move out, it wasn’t going to move out. He told me he would rather live in his car than have me pay for utilities when the bill came out. He told me I was a liar, I had agreed to pay for everything in the beginning of the month. I never did! I had asked him how much utilities usually amount to, he told me $50. I said ok. That’s it! He told me, I can’t fool him, he has a very good memory. I was lying to him, I was trying not to pay him the fifty bucks, blah blah blah, "move out NOW!"