Friday, October 31, 2014

Cross That Bridge When You Get To It

The bus must have stopped once or twice on the way to Vegas.

I was well equipped, if you know me, you know I always come prepared and I'm cheap. Shameless too. #NoShameInMyGame. I had gone to the 99 cents before heading out to Vegas. I had a few things in my fridge that I wasn't going to use. I thought, why not return these and exchange them for stuff I can use on the road? Something like that. I headed that way, they took everything. It was like 6 items. I told you, shameless! I got myself some nuts, pretzels, fruit and candy. I get motion sickness, without actually throwing up. Thanks goodness and knock on wood. So, I don't eat just before I go on the road or during. I can get away with having some snacks, depending on how I feel at the time. I'm sure some of you relate. I froze a big bottle of water for the road too. I drink a lot of water, like 2 gallons of water per day. That's more than 6 litres, per day.

I slept throughout and got out to use the restrooms when we stopped. Daniel was already in Vegas. He asked if I wanted him to pick me up on my arrival. I was due to arrive at 05:00. I thanked him for the generous offer but wouldn't put anybody in that position. What time would he have to get up to pick me up? Plus I wanted to look cute when I saw him, no funky breath, crusty eyes and all that crap. I didn't buy all those new clothes for nothing. Shoot! I wanted to get to my hotel, settle in, etc before I meet him. I had everything planned out.

We arrived in Vegas just after 05:00. VIVA LAS VEGAS! Man, I can still feel in my veins the excitement! I grabbed my suitcase and went to the ticket kiosk. I bought a weekly ticket. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever without having to stress about buying tickets every time I got on the bus. Plus you know what it's like, it's no fun taking out your wallet, paying for sht every time. I went into the restroom, freshened up, homeless person style, if you catch my drift. I was going to be out and about all day before my 4pm check in at the hotel. I brushed my teeth, put make up on, I didn't want to be outdone by the showgirls, I had to pull my weight, this is Vegas after all! I put some perfume on. I did take with me two bottles after all.

I took my time getting ready. It was still very early any way. I know Vegas is a 24  City but I had time. When I was done, I looked up buses. I already had an idea that I wanted to take the Deuce double decker bus. I had planned to sit on the top deck (my Cadbury's Top Deck. My favorite.) I had my camera with me, fully charged, i charged my phone while at the station while freshening up as well, I was takinh pictures with the Camera and some with the phone to send to my fam and friends on Instagram and Facebook. It was a great time! When I got off the bus, right across the street from my hotel, by the way, everything is across the street in Vegas, I called everyone back home. From my mom all the way down to my niece. My mom didn't pick up as usual. My two sisters, who I talk to everyday, did. I was like I'm in Vegas, bitches! I tell ya, I was so happy, I was standing at this traffic light, talking on the phone and twerking at six o'clock. The cars were honking, I was waving at everybody. I don't know, I may have been more excited to arrive in Vegas than in the US! I was looking at this stretch of tall buildings ahead of me. I couldn't believe that I was about to enjoy it all. I finally crossed the street when I was done with my phone calls, dropped my luggage off at the hotel and went on my merry way.

I had no specific plans about what to do first, really, I stood in front of the hotel/resort, looked left, right, left and went left! there was more going on on the left. The right was where the bus had come from, I'd seen some of that side. Legoooooo!

I went in and out of casinos. Here's the thing, the casinos in Vegas aren't just casinos, hotels aren't just hotels. They are some of, if not, the biggest hotels in the world. It's hotel/casino/resort. There's something to see or do in every hotel. Some people come to Vegs, stay in their Resort until they leave. They have everything you need entertainment, right there! To go to the next resort, you usually don't even need to go out the building and get fried by the desert sun, you can do so by exiting through the side door of one resort right into the next. There are no windows in the resorts and no Clocks. There's no way of telling time. Free drinks for gamblers. So here you are, trying to find your way to a particular spot on the Strip, you're trying to get to the bus, but because everything is across the street in Vegas, you have to take an elevator, go upstairs, cross a bridge, get to the other side, take another elevator, then get into a casino, to get  to the next one or something, like, nothing is straight forward. It looks like it is. Everything looks like it's right here, there's something about the way they build these things, they are ginormous and they look like it's the next building, don't try to walk there, take the bus. It's not as close as it seems. Trust me. Anyways, so you've just crossed the street, trying to get to the next building, you walk into the one right by the elevator, someone stops you with a giant smile, asks if you're alone and offers you free stuff. They give you the most lucrative deal you can ever imagine. Before you know if, you'e ready to take out your credit card, as you're busy with this one, there are two others making eye contact with you. They're the most beautiful people and are dressed to the nines. They have amazing deals for you! They will offer you something like, a day packed with trips around the strip, to the attractions, free buffet, a limo ride, and $500 worth of gambling money. All you have to do is pay $50 for it. I ain't kiddning ya! That's all! Here you are, thinking, if I was going to go to some of these places and pay $50 per gig, why won't I go for this deal and get $500 on top of it to gamble. You're buying $500 for $50. Plus you could win some money gambling!

Whether you take the above deal or not, say you decide to try your luck on the Penny Slots. What's a penny, right? A Cent! I mean, really now! A hot waitress, comes by, offers you free drinks, you keep gambling, they keep the drinks coming. You win some, you lose, whatever, you're getting buzzed. Before you know it, you're hungry, you see a sign for Mc Donald's right inside the building. You're thinking, Dollar menu! Yay! You make your way there, distracted, taking pictures, sometimes you lose signal on the phone, so you keep moving. Who cares? You're in Vegas. You stand in line, order a wad of food from the Dollar menu, you're thinking it's only a dollar each but you end up spending what you would've spent at a buffet for way more and a different experience. Mc Dee's are everywhere anyway. You sit, eat, get full, then realise how tired you are. You walk out the hotel, try to find a bus stop, which is probably on the other side of the street. You forgot all about the spot you were headed for to begin with. That's Vegas for ya!

I heard they release oxygen in the middle of the night into the casinos to keep people wide awake and fresh, that way you don't go home, you keep gambling. You know, the house always win, so this is all to their advantage. If you lose a lot of money, you can get everything for free. This is a trick into making you not feel like an absolute loser for losing it all. But really, you have! When you go home, reality will sink in. I'm glad I don't drink. I don't have to play penny slots for free alcohol and spending all my money, one penny at a time. I am also not a big gambler. Anymore ;) I gambled some in Fourways, South Africa. Monte Casino.

I walked around, took pictures, asked strangers to take pictures of me with my camera, took pictures with strangers with their cameras. All in the name of fun. It's Vegas, everyone's in a good mood. They know what happens here will stay here, unless you get herpes, the gift that keeps on giving or fall pregnant. Around 3pm, I crossed the street, and started making my way back towards my hotel. Check in was 4pm. I was tired. I wanted to take a nice bath, haven't taken a bath since Connecticut, when I first got to the US. I took the bus back south on the Strip, got off right across my casino, crossed, I was getting used to the crossing thing. And you know, you don't just cross anywhere. You might have to walk an entire block before you can cross and like I said before, sometimes you've gotta cross that bridge when you get there. But what can you do? Nothing can bring you down, you're on vacation! Everyone's smiling atcha!

I got to the hotel, waited in the check in line for about 15 minutes before they did me. Get your mind out of the gutter! I see you! According the desk, The room that I had won was no longer available. Plan B was to upgrade me to an even better room. What! Sign me up! She showed me the one I was supposed to get, then showed me upgrade options. I tell you, they upgraded me three rooms up! I was like, is this the best day of my life or what? I was so happy, I could kiss the lady. she gave me the pen to sign some paperwork. The pen had the hotel's name and was amazing to write with. I have a thing about pens. I still have pens from Durban, Joburg, Georgia, you name it! I asked her who I would have to sleep with to get one of those pens. She thought that was funny but really, must as I love pens, I needed to get laid more than I needed the pen. She gave me about a dozen of those pens and told me she loves me I made her day. I thought to myself if you love me so much, why am I not getting laid right now? Plus you don't need to tell me you love me jut to get into my knickers. Haha. Legoooooo! #WhatHappensInVegas

I got to my room, the dude brought my luggage to the room. The room was ginormous! I had two queen size beds, a dining area with a small table and two chairs, a living room with a giant purple couch, big flat screen tv, a huge bathroom with a big shower for two, you know, with two heads? I had a jacuzzi in my bedroom, well, next to one of the beds was a staircase, and then the jacuzzi, and an amazing view of the strip. Man, is this heaven or what? I only had a couple of hours before my appointment with Daniel. By the way, he called to check up on me during his break at the convention. I told him I was here, and was having a blast. He was excited to meet up later. We both were. I turned the tv in the bedroom on and soaked in the jacuzzi. There's a man I met online who lives in Vegas. I started talking to him not too long before my trip. You wanna have backup you know? I didn't even know Daniel was going to be in Vegas at the same time as me then. We'll call this man Tortoise. He knew when I was going to be in Vegas but we didn't make any solid plans to meet. He told me to call him if I had a gap in my day and maybe we could go to a gig and I can watch him play.

I called Tortoise, told him I was in Vegas, we talked for a minute and my battery died. I put the phone on charge and went to sleep. I took a two hour nap. Before I knew it, it was time to get up and get ready for my date with Daniel.

Happy Halloween, folks!


  1. Tortoise? Really? Out of all names. Now I think there is a reason behind all these names. TORTOISE

    1. LOL lol. Yep, we'll go with Tortoise. There's a reason. I want to use a name I can connect to the person in future. I write about so many people, I might not be able to even know who's who in future. This way, I will.
      By the way, I can no longer find you on Facebook. Where you at, boo?

  2. I deactivated my FB my account. Long story. Lol Tortoise was just a weird choice. Lol Yooo I rolled on the floor when I saw the pseudonym.

  3. lol Ufudo!
    Ok, when you're in the mood, tell me about it.