The new Guy

San Diego

Something different happened online. Something that never happens. I had all these guys who seemed pretty decent, wanting to chat with me at the same time one afternoon. I was excited and nervous. What if Perry would walk in? I had my own room, but his closet was in my room and mine was in his, long story about how he wanted me to have the main bedroom and I couldn’t do that to someone in his own home. I was chatting away with all these guys, in no time, the number had gone down to two or three. Most of them turned out to be jerks. No surprises there! Elvis had sent me an email the night before hoping to catch me online so we could chat. I wrapped up my conversations with the final two or so guys and as I was about to log off, Elvis logged on!

We chatted for a few minutes and he asked for my number. I told him we would have to talk a bit longer than that for me to give him my number. He sent me two more messages and asked again if we had talked long enough. Funny, very funny. NOT. Eventually, I gave him my number, it must have been the following day or so. I told him to call me in an hour. I thought it would be safe for me to go for a walk and talk to me while I was out. The walls are very thin here, people overhear everything all the time. I’m not crazy about that. Elvis had a few pictures on his profile. He looked like someone you can trust. Tall, longish hair, slick back, dark hair, brown eyes, slim. Just like I like them. Blue eyes would have made him perfect, but I was still happy with him lookswise.

He was older, 47, never been married (red flag!) but I was like, let’s give him a try. He called me in an hour’s time as per arrangement. We talked for four hours flat. I was walking around and around in circles the entire time. Amongst other things, it came out that he was the youngest of three, a 62 year old sister, a late brother and then him. His dad passed away, but his mom is still living, he wouldn’t tell me her age, once he found out that I worked out that his age wasn’t what he had stated on his profile from the sibling’s ages and the age difference among them. I asked him again how old he was, he told me the age he stated on the profile, I was like, well, I forgot, tell me again! He told me he was 48, he had a birthday coming up in a few days, so he was turning 49. I didn’t understand (still don’t) why he would lie about his age, especially considering how young he looked (or did he?) and just one year’s difference? To that, he told me that his ex was on the site and he did that to spite her. Apparently, he knew it would get to her to see that he lied about his age. I don’t know why he cared what she thought and why he would think that she would care!

That was a bit of a red flag, the lying about his age and the ex whose opinion he still cared about. He told me that he had dated women from Africa before, one from Kenya and one from God-Knows-Where. I didn’t care, still don’t. The conversation went very well. He seemed like a cool guy, funny too. I laughed a whole lot during that conversation. He, for some unknown reason, when he found out about my interest in acting, told me I was talking to the right guy. He got his nephew into acting. He taught the nephew everything the nephew knows. Interesting! The nephew, has been on Grey’s Anatomy (love it!), Glee (love!), Entourage and a few other shows. He is currently, well last they talked, he was dating a woman who used to be a Laker’s Cheerleader in Paula Abdul’s time. So older woman. So he thought  he’d also tell me who in Hollywood is gay or rather in the closet. I thought that was a very interesting topic for our very first telephone conversation and something I really needed to know, urgently! NOT!

Half Asleep, in New Jersey, on the phone with Perry

We talked and talked and laughed and joked around and I was excited to get to know him. You wouldn’t say he was approaching fifty from his personality. Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. At some point, he told me he had to get off the phone because HE WAS TIRED! Ok, interesting way to end a call, YOU made to ME. Bye! I went back to the house, Perry was busy in his office, drawing plans and all that architecture stuff, chilling with the small dog, his best friend. I went to my bedroom and did my loner stuff. I can be such a loner sometimes haha.

Elvis called me the following day, He told me a bit more about himself, he works for Sears, you know the department store that also stocks The Kardashian Kollection? He told me that he trains people at work and he specialises in displays, the Kardashians were so impressed with his work, they called them personally when they opened a new Dash store and asked him to work for them. He told me he politely declined. He doesn’t like them and didn’t want to be associated with them.

He then went on to tell me about the celebrities he had served at his work, Pamela Anderson, Joey from Friends and a whole of others AND some porn stars. I heard the one about the porn stars a few times already. He has really long stories and background information on all the stars he served, you’d swear he went on dates with people and that they didn’t just buy a tv from  him. When I mentioned that, he told me he takes care of his clients and that some celebs are nice people like you and I. Ok then you didn’t have to tell me that, I’m from Africa not somewhere under a rock! He also made sure to explain every phrase he used, for some reason, he thought that I wouldn’t understand, this happened after he learned I was from South Africa, before that, he treated me like a normal person who understands English.

At Perry's one winter night

I had to ask him nicely to please chill out. I was an English teacher for a few minutes, you know? Gimme a break here! Other than that, I found him interesting and enjoyed getting to know him. He was in Los Angeles, I was in San Diego, two hours difference! Mh, will it work? I wondered! Imagine if it did? Dating someone who lived in my dream city, City of Angels, closer and closer to the dream! And he already had all this inside info and interest in the industry. I would obviously have to move to LA at some point, not necessarily with him but, you know, to get closer plus it’s not like I had a place to stay in SD. We talked all the time with Elvis. He would always call me when he got home after work, after he “had a bite to eat.” We’d talk until he fell asleep on me on the phone, sometimes he’d even start snoring haha. I thought that was cute and romantic.

San diego Bay

He was my something to look forward to when days were really dark for me. I was hoping, he wouldn’t ask me about my living arrangement just yet. I was almost glad he was a little ways away (yeah people say that here, doesn’t that sound weird, a little ways away?). One day, while conversing over the phone, I asked him about his living arrangement, darn it, Brook, why would you go there? Now you have to tell him about yours! What to do? What to do!

He stuttered for a second and asked if I really wanted to know, when he asked me that I more really wanted to know than I did when I asked initially! My heart started beating fast, Gosh, what if he’s married, is divorced but still lives with his ex wife, lives with his wife’s family, what? What? Ugh, WHAT?

Downtown San Diego

Perry, decided it would be a brilliant idea for me to go downtown, to one of the places he had promised to take me, by myself, using public transportation. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. I wasn’t in the mood to go sight seeing. I was running out of time, sight seeing was the last thing on my mind. Especially because it was his idea. “Come on! You’re in Southern California, enjoy it! Sunny San Diego, blah blah blah” Gosh, why don’t you shoot me in the head instead?

He told me I had ten minutes to get ready, he was going to drop me off. Fck! Why does he care what I do with myself, he dumped me. Ugh! I got ready, he said it was pretty straight forward, he was going to take me to the door of the train and it was suppose to be easy from there on. He brought the small dog along. His favourite. He was so happy for me, Perry, not the dog haha. Awww, Brook is going out, she is going to make new friends, she’s gonna have so much fun, woooowwwwww, Brook! You’re such a socialite. WTFFFFFFF! Shut the fck up! Grrrrrrrr.

The train stop was at the Chargers Stadium. I had never been there before. On our way there, we drove past people walking towards the same direction. Which is not abnormal in any roads, right? He went, All these people are going there, but Brook is so special, she is being driven, whoa, look at you. Ugh, I don’t know how many times I must have thrown up in my mouth on that trip alone. We got into the stadium, he found a random spot, dropped me off there and told me I’m a smart girl, to figure it out from there. Great! Just Awe fcking some!

I had a great mind to just sit there, chat with my sister on Whatsapp, until she went to bed (time difference was 10 hours, between us, South Africa ahead), then call him and tell him I was ready to go back. Just for the fun of it. But I didn’t want to make matters worse. I could tell dude was trying to get rid of me. I guess he needed space. What do I know! I walked up a few flights of stairs trying to find the tracks. As I saw which way to go, I missed one by seconds. I got so frustrated. They had the schedule on a glass thingy right there. When I checked it out, I realised I had just missed the last train. Awesome! What am I gonna do now? Now that I have a valid reason to go back home?

It was midday, he asked if he should dish up dinner for me that night. He felt he had to ask because he knew I was going to have so much fun, I probably would go back home very late. I was thinking to myself, what kind of a psycho am I dealing with here? It’s midday, what the heck will I be doing downtown that will keep me there for more than 12 hours. I mean really now!

I wandered about the trax until someone else arrived, I asked them about the schedule, turned out that was not the last one, the schedule wasn’t complete. Whew! I got on the train to nowhere. I didn’t really know which stop I was going to get off or anything. I was just going because I was being coerced to. I got off near the bay. Beautiful! But I wasn’t in the mood for any of that. San Diego is a beautiful city with nice weather all year round.

I walked up and down, deep in thought, hoping I was dreaming, ready to wake up and enjoy the reality that was my life. Sad part was, the reality of my life was a nightmare. I kept walking, I wasn’t even in the mood to take pictures. I was just fumbling about. I went to an Indian Buffet place and had me some Indian food. Favorite cuisine! Quite honestly, I wasn’t hungry. But I was killing time. I had to do something! I then walked a bit more until it started getting dark. That’s when I headed back for the bus. On my way back, I bought Perry some dinner; fish and chips (fries), which he gobbled down in seconds.

Crossroads

December 2012

Wow, that was hectic! What the heck was I going to do with myself? Whew! He had to submit the booklet thirty days from that day. He subsequently gave me 30 days notice to move out. I had to figure something out. FAST! I had already started looking for a job when he broke up with me the first time. I wasn’t going to fool myself into thinking he was just under a lot of stress, there’s no way he meant that, NO. That’s not how I operate, you dump me, that means it’s over. Someone breaks up with you, be broken up with! It was his loss anyway, right? ;)

I had thirty days to figure out the next step. I had been looking for a job. There are jobs but the first question they ask you is if you have a car, and if you don’t, forget it! There I was stuck in a house with a man whom I hardly knew, who no longer wanted me. Awkward. After crying it out and calling my Jamaican friend in New Jersey and my sisters back in South Africa, I had to think of an exit strategy. I had gone back on the dating site the moment he broke up with me the first time. I’d paid for membership before I met him, and wasn’t about to let it go to waste especially seeing as he had dumped me like a hot potato. 

I wasn’t sure what would happen if I were to really start dating. Was the guy  going to have to pick me up from Perry’s? I didn’t want to disrespect him in his own house, plus, it still was the only home I had at the time. Tricky! What if someone wants to know about my living arrangement. I do’t want to be those girls, you know with baggage? Ugh, what if? What if? What if? And I didn’t want someone feeling like they had to save me and have me move from one man’s house to the next. That would’ve been an adventure on it’s own, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted to do.

Mh, what to do?

I kept applying, registering with employment agencies, NOTHING! Perry was civil with me, a bit sarcastic at times but I could dish it right back. I didn’t even care anymore, what was he gonna do? Break up with me and kick me out?

"You can't be here!, I can't have you here!"

After week one in San Diego, Perry, still busy with the divorce proceedings, got a letter from his lawyers. They wanted a lot more money than he had anticipated. He showed me the email, talked to his brother on the phone and I could tell he was really stressed out. The mood changed around the house.

Perry went out for work, he brought back lunch dinner with him, burgers and fries. While sitting in the living room, having dinner, he told me, he wanted to remain friends. He didn’t think he was ready for a relationship. Blah blah blah.

Me:        Wait a minute, are you breaking up with me?

Him:       You’re making it seem as if we’re in a relationship or something, we’re just friends and I would like things to remain that way!

Me:        Well if you want to remain the way things are, why did you feel the need to tell me that?

Him:       I’m just telling you that I am not in the right frame of mind right now, there’s a lot going on in my life right now, my ex-wife, the lawyers, there’s just too much going on, I can’t deal with all that and a relationship right now. You can stay here as long as you want or until I sell the house, I just can’t be in a relationship right now.

He says right now a lot when he’s worked up

Me: Oh My Gosh

I got up, walked away. I went straight into the bedroom and talked to my people. It was back to the drawing board for me.

Him: Brook! Brook! Golly, don’t walk away, oh God...! Why are you getting so upset, it’s not like we’ve been dating for years, we just met and it’s not working out. It’s not a big deal, I’m sure you’ll find someone else!

I felt like I got hit by a train. Here I was in this man’s house, he just made me uproot my entire life from coast to coast for him, a week later, he’s gonna tell me it’s over! What is happening? Was I dreaming? This is the same man who told me I had to see if I liked him otherwise his mind was made up. I talked to my sisters, we talk all the time as you may well know.

The next morning, I stayed in my bedroom and just did my thing, I didn’t feel like socialising.

I later bumped into Perry in the kitchen. He was like, hheeyyy Brook! I brought you lunch! I politely declined. “What are you going to eat then? You have to eat! I don’t feel like cooking today, please take this!” Suurrreee whatever! I took it! He tried to be nice for the rest of the day and the next day, and the next. No apology but he was playing nicey nice! I was confused. I didn’t want to be that annoying person who says, “we need to talk” but I needed some enlightenment. I had no clue what was happening.

The following week, he got another email from the lawyer. HE was expecting to be billed about $400 but they billed him more than $2 000. That flipped him out! He was going nuts. I tell you if anything could get  that man worked up, it’s those lawyers! Not the ex-wife, the lawyers. His lawyers! I always wondered what man hires a female lawyer when he is going through a divorce from a woman. Isn’t that like the unwritten rule? Like when you’ve been abused by a man, as a woman, you know you have to hire a female lawyer. I was walking on egg shells that day again around him. It was very awkward and tense. They had also sent him a thick booklet to fill out. One of the questions was if he lived with someone in the house and whether they pay rent. He told me that the ex’s lawyers new about his new car. He said the only way they could have found out was from the neighbour who used to be friends with her. That night, around dinner, he said, “...I’M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN’T BE HERE! I CAN’T HAVE YOU HERE...”

Our first Thanksgiving together

While in Jew Jersey, Perry told me that for Thanksgiving, they normally have dinner at his sister's. He told me he and the sister don't get along, apparently nobody gets along with her. I don't know why they all go to someone's house whom they all don't like. Typical Thanksgiving behavior, right?

He wanted me to go along, I told her, I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable seeing as I would have been in San Diego only for two weeks. He then said he would buy turkey and we'd have our own Thanksgiving at home.  That was sweet but I didn't want to be the reason he was going to break family tradition. He insisted. 

He promised that after the divorce, when he got his settlement, he is going to buy himself a truck and I could have the car he is currently driving. He bought that car after the ex took both the cars they had when she left. Talk about taking someone to the cleaners! I wasn't crazy about that car, it's too big, too long both back and front. Maybe we could sell it and buy me a smaller car. preferably a convertible or SUV. Just saying!

Day before Thanksgiving, he told me he would have to give his mom a ride to the sister's. he has 8 siblings, I asked if nobody else could. He told me, he made a deal with his mom WHEN SHE GAVE HIM HER CAR that he would drive her wherever she needed to go. Gave you her car? Interesting, I know that's not what you told me, but ok. He told me he would drop her off, come hang out with me and then go pick her up. I was like, nah dude, don't do that, that's weird. Plus he was going to tell them he had to be somewhere with his business partner. If you were ok with me spending Thanksgiving with your family, why can't you tell them you are with me at home?

I also noticed how he made sure the blinds were closed whenever I turned the lights on at night, or how he got all nervous when I was roaming in the backyard and one of the neighbours was outside, or when we were either going to or coming out of the car, he'd be like, hurry up. You knew it was a slip of the tongue or he'd be like leave the grocery bags, get inside, I will bring them in myself, kinda like he didn't want anybody to see me. He wanted me there without me actually being there, make sense?

We went shopping for Thanksgiving after he decided we were going to have out own celebration at the house after their family's. He told me they usually are done around 6pm, so we could still have dinner at the house afterwards. He bought turkey for us. I was excited. My first Thanksgiving in America! With my future husband, what could be better, right?

Thanksgiving morning, he worked, then had lunch, then left for dinner which was supposed to start around 3 pm. He had lunch around 1 pm, which I thought was interesting, but what do I know about Thanksgiving dinners? I'm just a girl from Africa. He went to pick up his mom from the old age home, then off to his sister's they went.

I must say, I did enjoy being home alone for a change. I hung out on the comfy sofa in the living room and watched some stuff on the PC. I was expecting him around 7 latest. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten, nothing! No call, no nothing! He came home after ten pm so  stuffed he couldn't even breathe. He brought 'me' some dinner along. Pumpkin pie which I never had before, turkey, prepared all kinds of ways, lots of food in ziploc bags. It was too late for me to eat, I told him I'd have it the following day. He put it in the fridge. 

He couldn't even sit down, he was so full. All he kept saying was, I'm so stuffed! I'm so stuffed Whew! Uh, I can't breathe. I shouldn't have eaten so much. Gluttony is a sin. I was sitting there thinking to myself, 'Is this happening? Am I dreaming? WTF'

I went to bed and heard him throwing up in the bathroom. Nice!

I got up, all freaked out, went back to the living room, got on the phone with my sister and talked. I had to! I needed to. I was totally weirded out by this bulimic, middle aged man.

I must have been on the phone until early hours of the following day. It was already midnight when I got on the phone, so. So much for my first romantic Thanksgiving.

The next morning, he had the entire pumpkin pie before I even woke up. I'm talking about the entire thing, not a slice. You know the size of a milk tart? Yeah that. So I never got to even taste it, he had the rest of the food the following day or so. 

Poor little spoilt me

November 2012

Hello Kitty Sleepers and Hello Kity Chocolate

Besides spring cleaning, I watched lots of The Real Housewives of New York. This was while Perry was work and I was home alone. I had the laptop on while cleaning too at times just to distract me. Every now and then, Perry would watch an episode or two with me. Fun Times! I did watch his fave shows with him too; the Big Bang Theory, Friends (yeah the one and only), Sports (this was a bit of a challenge, but I tried)

I’d also tag along when he goes to the building department, interesting name for a department. He goes there so often he knows people, so we didn’t have to wait long. Thank goodness! The first time we went there, he took me out to lunch by the bay. Very sunny day! Totally the opposite of New Jersey, all snowy, cold and grey. We took a few pictures and enjoyed sea food on the balcony of a restaurant on the beach. Too cool!

The Restaurant, amazing, right?

Mixed sea food, yumness!

Back home, more work for him, more chill time for me. It was strange not having to check on Avon every now and again but I wasn’t complaining. I got to bond with the dogs and we were one big, happy family. It was really refreshing for me, because I grew up really afraid of dogs, once I got bitten by one at 8 years old or so, I really didn’t like them!

My perception of dogs changed since I’ve been in The US. That doesn’t mean I am going to let my guard down when I go back home, to Uitenhage. Those dogs were trained differently than the ones here. That’s a whole another political issue we won’t dwell on.

Poor picture, but that's the sweat set (track suit)

Perry took me shopping for winter stuff, Boots, Hello Kitty Sleepers, and a Sweat Set (track suit). My clothes hadn’t arrived on the mail yet. That was nice of him. I could wait a few more days, but he insisted.  What girl doesn’t want to get spoilt?

He baked cake quite often, as you may already know, here's my favorite; 

Red Velvet Before...

...and After. Paper Plates are a thing here when you don't feel like doing the dishes

Sunny San Diego!

The biggest bunch of Roses I ever got!

My first day on vacation! Perry had told me I could take all the time I needed chilling, and go back to work whenever I wanted or to school, or just be a house uhm person? Not wife yet! Or I could help him with his business. He could use someone who is computer savvy. His house is nice, 3 bedrooms, a living room, dining room, game room, kitchen, laundry, office and a huge Swimming pool at the back. There’s a canyon right at the back yard which makes for a beautiful view. 

Back Yard

I was up the usual time, after 5am! Only difference is, it was 2am in San Diego. By the time, it hit 7, when Perry finally woke up, I’d been up for hours chatting up a storm with my people back in South Africa. I didn’t do much that day. Perry had a few projects he was working on. He was busy all day. He bought lunch and brought it home. I chilled at home all day. I was tired, from having worked non-stop for months. It was weird not being at work. The whole thing was weird. It was like  I went to bed in one state and woke up in another. BAM! Just like that!

I was ordered to just chill, be it in bed or on the couch, but Perry was going to wait on me. He told me it was time somebody waited on Brook. Which was a very nice and thoughtful thing to say and do. He’s a great cook and makes a mean barbecue.

Barbecued (Braai'd) Pork, yams and mixed veggies

I spent the following days spring cleaning the house. There can be a difference between a house cleaned by a man and by a woman. I had to do it for my own peace of mind too. There was a lot of cleaning to be done! It kept me busy though. The only thing I couldn’t do was wash the dogs. I m not a big dog person. Still acclimatising myself in that area. It was nice to not have to worry about the dating site for a change. Or about job hunting or any of that stress.

Cute Fridge but it took me forever to clean

 Every now and then, I went along with him to the Building department when he was doing his architecture stuff. It was different. San Diego is so peaceful and sunny! The ex wife took both cars when she left him. He had to get a new car and had his truck (bakkie). He told me that when the divorce is finalised, he will give me the car he is currently using and buy himself a new truck, he’ll sell the house and split up the profit with ex-wife, build a new house and resell it, and buy or rent a another house for us to live in. I am going to decorate the new house whichever way I like as long as I will not paint the entire house Pink like his mom did. Fun!

So, we’re going to get married the day the divorce is finalised, I will get a new car, a new house to decorate, new husband, two dogs, I GOT IT MADE!

The View 

The few things I was excited to do in San Diego were going to the world famous San Diego Zoo, Apple farm where they make everything apple, Apple Crumble pie, Apple Juice, Apple Sauce, Apple whatever, Apple everything, you name it, they make it! I thought that was interesting. The house has a fireplace, so I was looking forward to winter nights, even though it doesn’t get that cold in Southern California, I was just excited about the smell of wood that Perry was going to fetch all the way up the mountain for us. Fun! Fun! Fun!

One of His Breakfasts

San Diego from New Jersey via New York City!

Great! Just great! How am I going to get my money now? Should I get off the bus, wait for her to get back to the stop with my check? Did she have it with her? I didn’t have her number? I overheard her telling Avon, she was going to go back to the facility after dropping me off. I called the new girl. She didn’t pick up, c’mon, pick up! Pick up! Pick up! She did! I told her to ask the lady if she had my pay check. I called boss, no answer. He’s a lawyer, he was probably in court. Oh man! What am I going to do. I sent boss a text. He called back immediately telling me they would deposit the check into my account. I believed him.

I wasn’t at the bus long, and we drove off! Good bye New Jersey! See you around! I didn’t know what was awaiting me ahead, but I was looking forward to it. I told Perry, I was on my way. He told me he was glad I called, he had overslept. Perry is his own boss, he works from his house office. He never uses the alarm, he wakes up whenever he feels like it. I stayed in touch with him throughout the day. He was up and about trying to make sure everything was in order before I arrived. This is the same guy who told me he needed to get a shovel and start cleaning up the house, two weeks prior. It was a joke, but I don’t know how much of it was based on the truth.  East Coast is 3 hours ahead of the West coast timezone-wise.

I remember as if it were just yesterday, the feeling of entering the city of New York, it was nice and sunny outside. Mid November, beginning of winter, The City was smiling back at me. You know me and my love affair with New York City! It was a good day! I got off at port authority, walked around for a minute, then took the bus to JFK Aiport. It was a drive there. Which meant enjoying the city one last time before I westcoast it. The entire system is very organised, That’s the thing about the US, it’s such a big country and yet very organised. It’s not easy to get lost at all. Take it from me! At the airport, you get off at the entrance closest to the airline you’re flying with. How cool is that? No running up and down OR Tambo international aiport, up and down the elevators and escalators, all to find yourself back at square one (from experience ;) ). I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face :D

It must have been around 11am when I arrived at the airport. My flight was at 4pm. I had ample time to kill. I bought some snacks and sat at the waiting room. Watched some housewives episode (Beverly hills, if you care to know J) I had saved on my PC when I had internet. I was falling asleep due to my busy night the night before. Time flew and before I knew it, it was time to go. I headed for the gate, checked in and AMERICAN AIRLINES KNOWS WHY YOU FLY!  (In my best Ellen de Generes Voice). I sat next to a nice young man who had his hoodie on the entire flight, I have no idea what he looks like. Good thing is, neither does he. I must have fallen asleep as soon as I sat down. I was so tired! It had been a crazy few days. I hope I didn’t snore or fart! The flight was about 7 or 8 hours long.

Perry had warned me that there might be fog and we might have to land in Los Angeles (instead of San Diego) and he might have to pick me up there, or they would arrange a hotel for us and have us fly to SD the next morning. I was open to whatever. That would’ve given me an opportunity to see Los Angeles, be in LAX which I have always wanted to see. Don’t get me wrong, I was looking forward to meeting Perry, I was just keeping an open mind. Don’t judge me, I’m just a girl from Uitenhage, exploring America! No fog, we made to San Diego on schedule. It was around 11pm Eastern time when I arrived and 8pm San Diego time  so to speak (Pacific Time).

As I got off the plane, it dawned on me, I was no longer in New Jersey. Nobody but my family and two friends new where I was. WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING! I ran to the restroom to freshen up and then turned my phone on. Perry had been waiting for me outside. OH MY GOSH, this is really happening! I hope he’s going to be nice to me! I walked out, called him and told him where I was waiting for him. He drove around to pick me up. I had the hugest smile on my face, you could swear I was just released from prison. Well, I was! I’m in California baby, wHOOOOooooo! I could yell at the top of my voice! There he was! Perry, he looked so handsome in person! Dear Lord, I’m going to live with this man! What is happening right now? He got off the car, “Brook?” Perry! Hi! WE did the awkward hug/handshake thing most people who meet for the first time do. I didn’t care, I was glad he was handsome. Call me Shallow, call me anything, as long as you call me. Maybe?

He had a bunch of red roses in the car for me. EIGHTEEN! Count them! The biggest bunch of roses I ever got! And I have received flowers in my time! I think I remember the first thing I ever said to him was, “I’m here!” His eyes looked more beautiful in person, they are nice and green. He says they are hazel. We drove through the city of San Diego, he showed me around. It was beautiful, there’s part of town called the Gas Lamp, it’s kinda like 7^th Street, Melville (where my sister was lucky enough to live for a couple of years), Florida Road in Durban or Long Street in Cape Town. We drove past the bay, etc. We grabbed dinner and took it home with us.

I had already seen pictures of the house online and he had sent me a few of the inside. It looked much nicer in person. It was very brown though, everything inside was brown. We sat on the sofa, had dinner, and talked, then bedtime!

The night before the morning after

I talked with my Jamaican friend and asked her to recommend someone I could use as my replacement. She did. I talked to the lady, who had a very interesting vibe about her. I felt like I was the one looking for a job and she was the boss. Whatever. To cut a long story short, I told my boss I was leaving the Sunday and I was due to fly out the following Wednesday. He seemed shocked that I would want to leave. Trust me, If you were in my shoes, some of you may not have lasted a day in that job. I won’t go into detail.

I told him I had two a few people lined up to take over my job. He wanted to interview them, I gave them the names and numbers. He liked the first one. The interesting one. He was like, ok, Brook, would you like this lady to start tomorrow (Monday). I was like, uhm, no, Wednesday! What the heck! I told him, I was going to leave Wednesday morning. What is this? Was I getting fired AFTER I quit?

As usual, Boss was behind in paying me. He owed me three week’s salary. He promised to bring my cheque (by the way, Cheque in American English is spelt Check) on Wednesday. He was very nice about the whole thing, once he found a replacement he was happy with. The lady was a Jamaican who lived in New York. Boss was going to pick her up from the bus station, and then drop me off wherever I needed to go. Which came in handy because I didn’t really know how I was going to get to the airport.

That's her in the Trash room

My poor suitcase, had been abused so much, it couldn’t take it anymore, one of the tires gave in. I had to get rid of it. I didn’t have enough time to buy luggage online and had it reach me before I left. I was not about to leave my stuff with someone else to hopefully ship it for me later. Oh heyll Naw! I packed everything in boxes, got a ride from a very nice nurse who always offered to give me a ride should I need it, I decided to take her up on it. She dropped me off at the post office. I was going to take a cab on my way back. The drive there didn’t seem that long. I shipped my stuff, it cost me almost $100 (+-R1 000). Perry promised to pay me back all that, which I wasn’t too comfortable about. Having someone pay me back for shipping my own stuff! Apparently, Perry is such a gentleman, he wouldn’t let a woman spend a dime of her own money!

My Stuff. Packed to the Brim

Anyway, whenever I got a chance to go for a walk, I did. I needed it! I was happy to walk back to the facility from the post office. Silly me, what the heck was I thinking! First of all, It was much colder than I imagined. Having been locked up in an airconditioned apartment for weeks, then into an airconditioned car got me fooled. It was freeeezzziiiinngggg! I had leggings on, a short sleeved top and SANDALS! Clearly, I was already in a California State of mind. When I realised how far the place was, I was probably halfway between the facility and the post office. AND I didn’t cave cash with me! I couldn’t take a bus or anything, not that there were any in that deserted road. Everywhere looked more deserted than they probably were after the hurricane. There were trees all over the sidewalks. I decided to call a cab, that’s when I realised that my phone had died! I couldn’t use my GPS to find a shorter walking route, couldn’t do nothing, I HAD TO WALK BACK! I was half frozen! Remember, we had a snow storm in New Jersey just after the hurricane. This was just after the storm. The snow had melted but the temperatures hadn’t improved at all.

View from the balcony

People looked at me like I was weird walking that road dressed like that. Maybe they didn’t but I felt that way. I remember a police car stopping to ask me where I was coming from and where I was going, they probably thought me suspicious. That was before I decided I couldn’t walk there. IF it were after, I would’ve asked them for a ride or to use their phone.

I felt like I was in a horror movie! I didn’t know what was going to happen next. The cars that I saw were going the opposite direction, nothing toward my direction. Crap! What now? I kept walking and walking, the closer I thought I was, the farther I seemed to be. Where the heck is this place! My hands and feet were frozen, and my uhm, lady parts that are protruding? Year those, were like ice balls. The worst thing that could happen to me that day was for me to take the wrong turn.  The more I walked, the more I wondered if I was on the right track. I saw signage with the name of the hospital which is right next to the facility. That gave me hope. Apparently they have an ATM over there. I thought I’d go in there and withdraw some money. I needed to thaw (defrost) more than anything else.

When I got closer to the hospital, I tried to walk towards the main entrance, but the building seemed to move further, the closer I got to it. I was like darn it, I’m not doing this! Five minutes later, I was at the facility. I had never been happier to arrive at that place in my life!

It had got so dark outside, I felt like I was gone for ages. I was frozen. I remember bumping into the boss in the hallway. Someone had told her I was leaving, she wanted to tell me how mad she was at me for leaving. I let her feel my hand, she told me to go stand in front of the fire place. I did. For a moment, I thought I was too cold to feel the heat from the fire but then saw the residents looking me like I was a lunatic. Turned out, the thing was off. Oops. 

I ran upstairs and took a long shower. You know you’re cold when you have a tingling sensation when you come across heat. The last time I had that feeling, which was also my first, was in Georgia, after walking in flooded streets, with snow and it was hailing outside. When I tried to heat my feet up, I could die from that weird tingling feeling. Have you ever had such a thing happen to you? I talked to Perry a little bit on the phone, once I had it charged. Everything seemed so real! My closet was empty, All I had were my laptop bag (heaviest thing you can ever carry, two heavy external hard drives, laptop, and everything else that can fit in it. I wasn’t going to take a chance and ship them, too fragile, and the handbag, filled to the brim J

I had printed my ticket, called American Airlines to confirm everything, I really was leaving the following day. I went to bed around 10pm, pooped! I got up after 11pm frm the worst stomach ache ever! You know when you’re sleeping and you dream that you’re sick and wake up actually sick? Yup, that’s what happened! I was tossing and turning in bed, trying to get my beauty slip. I wanted to enjoy my trip to the West Coast. No such luck! I drank warm water, took , baking soda (bicarbonate of soda),nothing! I was sweating bullets, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake Avon up. The pan pierced through my stomach to my back onto a muscle along the spinal chord. It felt like a bubble that I couldn’t burst. I BBMed my sister who apparently suffers from that kind of condition, long story. She told me to lay on the floor on my back and to do some exercises. Kinda like riding a bicycle? There I was on the floor, sweating like a racehorse, riding an air bicycle in the middle of the night. I would take breaks and sit on the floor right by the corner of the frame of the bathroom door and massage the back muscle with the corner of the thing. The pain would then move to the front, back and forth, back and forth. Gosh!

I texted Perry. He was freaking out. He told me to go to the hospital. I could tell he thought I was having a case of cold feet but was still supportive. Two hours later, I was still on the floor not knowing what the heck to do with myself. I went to the nurse’s station to ask for something. Normally, they don’t give out meds to anybody other than the residents, hence my taking so long to ask. Desperate times! Fortunately, they had the nice big guy that night. He’s so cool. When the residents who can’t walk fall, he picks them up like, it’s they’re lightest thing ever. He’s amazing! Anyway, he told me that sounded like a gas bubble or something else I forgot cos I kinda knew it was gas. I had had a similar pain a few times before whenever I had bread more than two days in a row. That only started while living at the facility. Nothing that serious though, either in the tummy or back, not both at once in the middle of the night before I fly across the country! The nurse gave me two tablets, I was supposed to chew them then drink a glass of water. I did. Twenty minutes later, I was exhausted from tossing and turning, riding air bicycles and all, I went back to bed. I could feel the pain going away slowly. Wwwhhhheeewww!

I must have fallen asleep after 3am. I did send my sister and Perry texts before I dozed off. They were both so nice, they kept me company the entire time. I was up around 5. I was expecting the new lady around 7am, i had to be ready by then. I washed my linen and my sweaty clothes from the night before. Nobody wants to sit next to that smell on the planeJ! I was supposed to be at the bus stop at 9am, They had free shuttles running from New Jersey to New York because public transport wasn’t running as normal (thanks to Miss Hurricane Sandy). No, seriously, thank you! For saving us some money! Who doesn’t want a free ride? Boss’ wife, was a tad bit late dropping the new girl. I was beginning to panic when they showed up. The girl looked friendlier than she sounded over the phone, thank Goodness for small miracles!

Avon hadn’t talked to me the whole morning. She was ignoring me. We introduced the new girl to her. I showed the girl around. When it was time to say my final goodbye to Avon, I found her crying L uncontrollably. That made me sad L What a ride it had been Working for her! I was ready to get the heck out of there and enjoy America, but sad to see her cry. It was hard for me to leave her in that state but I had to rush, else I was going to miss the bus. I punched the address into my GPS, Boss wife took me to “her car” in the parking lot. The doors wouldn’t open. She kept pressing and pressing the remote, turns out, NOPE, WRONG CAR! Hers was a Jeep, she was trying to open a Hyundai or something like that. Hey, they were both white! WE rushed for the bus stop! Luckily, we got there just in time! We had a nice talk on the way there, she told me, if things didn’t work out where i was going, to call her, she would hook me up with a friend of hers. I could help the friend with her mother or somebody. That was nice to hear, it meant they were happy with my work. I had no intentions to go back to the East Coast though, I have always wanted to go to California. I’m an LA girl at heart!

As soon as she drove off, I remembered: MY PAY CHECK!

Hurricane Sandy

November 2012

Perry’s deal was: He had already made his mind up that he wanted me. I hadn’t. He has a three bedroom home, where he lived with his two dogs. I was going to stay in my own bedroom. We’d date until I decided whether or not I liked him like that. Should I decide I didn’t like him, I could move out anytime or stay there until I figured out what to do next, as friends. New Jersey was too far from California. It would’ve been impossible to date living forty hours apart.

Hurricane Sandy hit The East Coast. It was a crazy week. A huge inconvenience! Imagine living in a two storey building with an elevator for people who were wheelchair bound and then having no power! The dining room was downstairs. The nursing station was upstairs. TV room was downstairs. All residents had tv’s in their apartments, but a lot of them hung out in the downstairs tv room. When the power went out, someone was in the elevator. They had to call the people come get her out. They were quick to respond, which was nice. When they got her out, she was more concerned about her glasses she left in the elevator than anything else. Don’t ask me how they left her face! 

The facility did the best they could to make the experience as smooth as possible for the residents. They had the kitchen staff served people on both floors, the nurses did the same, everybody got a couple of torches, the generator lit up the hallway and some of the rooms. The electricity closets (where all the main switches are)  had power, I guess from the generator, there were about two per floor, where we could charge our phones. All the networks were off, towers were hit by Sandy, except Verizon. Few people in the building were with Verizon cos it’s expensive.

After talking to Perry for about a month, about seven hours per day, I decided to take him up on his offer. I didn’t know how to tell my boss and Avon that I was leaving, I postponed it until the very last minute. By the way, Just after Hurricane Sandy hit, we had the national election. I did a radio interview with The number 2 National radio station in South Africa UMHLOBO WENENE. Who of you caught the interview? It was the most fun  I had while living in that facility J. Perry had already bought me my ticket to San Diego.

The stations were closed, I couldn’t take a train from the station close by to New York, where I was going to fly from. The buses were too far, for some reason, I couldn’t get hold of taxi cabs. I suppose they had their own Sandy problems. Two weeks after Sandy, the town was still dead. Some people still didn’t have power. We got ours back within a week If I remember well. We were lucky because we were a bit far from the ocean. Avon made it past Halloween! The predictions were wrong! Three months later, she was still around. Which meant a job for me! Whew!

On receiving my parcel from N who really came through for me. I asked her how much I owed her so I could mail her a money order. The facility, where I stayed and worked was kind of out of the way. It was very far from things, I couldn’t just walk to the bank, And I don’t have a car. She told me not to worry about reimbursing her. I had to, she had spent quite a bit of money on shipping the stuff more than $30 (more than R300). I am not one for freebies. Neither is everybody I have met since I have been here, if you think you’re not paying for something, YOU’RE PAYING! You just don’t know how, yet! I sent her a money order of $50. Just before I did, she told me not to put her name on it, but just Cash. Which meant anybody who received it, could cash it. When I brought that up, she told me,it’s ok, nobody will steal her money order. I shipped it. And texted her to the fact. According to her, SHE NEVER RECEIVED IT! She said the delay must have been caused by the hurricane. I really didn’t need that kind of stress. I had warned her that it was safer having her name on the thing, she was stubborn, when she “didn’t” receive it, it became my problem. I tried to follow up with Western Union. They told me, they could trace it, at a fee of $15 (+-R150) I mean, seriously now! N told me not to worry, she was going to wait, if she didn’t get it, oh well. She had told me to refund her anyway. So basically, I threw all that money away. What do you think happened to the money order?