I'll Get High If I want To!

April 10, 2014. B-Day!

I was up early, got my two outfits for the day ready! None of them needed ironing as you may know by now! I headed out to check out some casinos that I had planned to that I hadn't yet downtown. I had breakfast with dessert (don't judge me. It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to!) downtown as well. After that, I thought I'd have some of that Shrimp Cocktail I have heard about online. It's like shrimps in a cup with some sauces, a straw and crackers on the side. I'm open minded about a lot of things and will try anything even if just once but OMG Yuck! I don't know if it's the ones I had or what but Geez! I couldn't even finish them. I threw away the rest, sorry mom; I know you taught us better than to throw food away when people are starving in Ethiopia but I had to!

After gallivanting, I headed to the West side for a full body massage. I saw reviews on Yelp and called to book. Everything went great, I called them as I was on my way to confirm, still on! I even called them after I got off the bus as I was walking towards their spa. I wasn't sure of directions etc. I arrived at the spa and all of a sudden, nobody spoke English! What? Where's the lady I had been liaising with the whole time? Well, the guy who answered the door was busy at the back and just came to see who was at the door. He spoke no word of English. He showed me the clock and signaled for me that he would fit me in in an hour. Only issue is, my appointment is right now. I kept asking to speak to 'someone'. He had no idea what I was saying. I got frustrated. It was hot outside, I had just walked forever from the bus stop to the spa and wasn't about to wait an entire hour. I had a show to go to in three hours, I didn't want to miss that, that was part of my birthday extravaganza. I didn't come all the way here to not do the things I had planned to!

Right next door to the Spa I was in, there was another on. It looked like it was the same business, I went in there and was greeted by a very bubbly Asian lady. I asked her if she was the same one I had been talking to on the phone, she told me she was. Can I get my massage now please. He referred me to the non speaking guy next door. Like, lady, come on now! What are you doing? You know that dude doesn't speak a word of English, why are you referring me back there? What's going on here?

I called the number I had been calling all along, the lady picked up and asked if I was still coming. WHAT? What in the world is happening? I thought I just talked to this lady and she didn't seem to remember our conversations! Whew! I asked here where she was. She told me she was inside, to go in. I told her I had just been to two spas, it didn't look like anyone was expecting there. A random dude came around the corner, and was like, "Hi. Please come this way!" UHM, WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? He told me that the lady asked him to come get me. I was so relieved. Where do they take me? The back of the same building I had just been to! I swear they were playing some Chinese game with me!

The lady seemed so happy to see me. She explained to me that the spa I went to used to belong to her, she hadn't changed her number yet so they still have her number advertised under that address even though she is no longer associated with that place. Confused yet? She called a guy named Jack to give me the 'foot massage' I'd booked. I was like, FOOT? Foot massage my foot, I booked for a full body massage! She was like well.... We only do foot massages here as you can see on the outside, it's stated. BUT LADY, I HAVE TALKED TO YOU AND ARRANGED FOR A FULL BODY MASSAGE! I AM NOT SOME RANDOM WALK IN WHO DIDN'T TAKE NOT OF WHAT IS WRITTEN OUTSIDE YOUR BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT! I told her the longer I was there, the more stressed out I was becoming. I felt like I deserved a massage just from what I went through trying to find the place! She told me that I would have to pay more than she had quoted me for the full body massage. I was like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. You and I had a full on conversation about this. Either someone is going to give me a massage for the amount agreed upon or I walk! She told Jack to give me a full body massage and asked me to please tip her. I was like, of course I'm gonna tip him. Who tells someone to tip their therapist? Rude!

James! What an amazing massage I got from him! Oh my goodness! He soaked my feet in warm water and gave me the best head to toe massage ever. Not with my feet still in the water of course :). The pressure was just right, I like it hard. I suffered from Plantar Fasciitis for years. I have been to doctors and they all tell me they are normal. I just need to lose weight and all my problems will be solved. I feel like whatever medical condition I suffer from, doctors just tell me to lose weight and it will be gone! I even Twittered the Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu show about it. The old Professor/doctor person answered my tweet and said I just need to lose weight. Anyway, my left heel was on fire that day. I think it was from all the walking I had been doing in Vegas. I didn't even notice until the massage, so I told Jack to take it easy on it. Jack made all the trouble I went through worthwhile. I gave him a decent tip and went to pay. The lady made sure to remind me to tip him. I gave the tip top Jack in the room because I have read online that sometimes the tips to get to the therapists or they will give them some of the money. I didn't want drama, Jack was good to me, and I had seen what can go on around there.

I left feeling rejuvenated. I ran back to the bus stop, missed the first bus; while waiting for the light to open and had to wait a good 15 minutes for the next one. Not cute! I tried to keep calm. While waiting at the bust stop, I got a call from Daniel, telling me that he was trying his best but might not be able to make the show. AGAIN? I told him I would love it if he could but I mean what was I going to do? Make him? Well, I could...

He told me they were done with the convention, he was waiting for people who were supposed to clean up, they were taking their sweet time. I was running out of time myself. I didn't have much time to go to my room, freshen up and then go to the show. I was just gonna head straight for the show.  I got off the bus and ran across the street, you know the drill, everything is across the street in vegas!  I took the elevator, ran to my room, while on the way there, I was looking for the room key in my bag, nothing, looking, looking, nothing! Oh no! Not now! I tell you, I can be busy as heck, I am just not the person who loses things. I don't lose cellphones, keys wallets, stuff like that. I just don't. I didn't understand where the key could be. Still trying to maintain my composure. We don't want to waste that massage now! I thought it best to just go to the desk and ask for copies of my tickets and just go straight to the theatre. I asked nicely, they asked me for proof of things I didn't have. Something about I had to go to security or the police and report the loss of my key. I was like, chile ain't nobody got time for dat! I went to check in and asked them for copies of my key. They were happy to give it to me. Thank goodness. Why didn't I think about this the first time, instead of wasting my precious massages on those power hungry a** holes! I ran upstairs, took off my Converses, washed my feet, put on flip flops, got my tickets and ran down to the theatre. I got in just as the show was about to start. Thank goodness. Because I was uhm just on time (read:late), They didn't want me to distract others by trying to get to my seat. They told me to just sit at the tables right in front of the stage. Best seat ever! It worked out for the best! I enjoyed myself. The show is called Jubilee! It's a variety show with a little bit of everything. I really enjoyed it. They weren't just on the stage in front of the audience, they also took it to the balcony all around the theatre. Every now and then, when I thought the performance deserved it, I would give them standing ovation.They appreciated it. They literally looked me in the eye and whispered thanks. Towards the end, the guys that were in front of me, were like looking at me, dancing I was like dang, what did I ever do to deserve this special treatment! Thanks Jubilee! Folks. Yall made a sista's birthday!

As soon as it was over, I went upstairs. I believe they did a meet and greet just before the show, unlike Fantasy where they meet and greet was after the show. I didn't get to take pictures this time around, it was all good though. I was ready to go to my room. Also, my phone was off, I didn't know if Daniel was outside or what was going on. I turned on my phone and he had left me a message that he had just gotten done, literally just as I was walking out of the theatre! Sadly he missed both my shows. I should've sold them haha. Thanks Dr. Phil Show! I went up to my room, took a nice shower and put on my birthday outfit.  Dan was going to freshen up and come pick me up. The day wasn't over yet!

I ran downstairs to him,  he had parked in the next building, not sure why. We had to walk there. I was in heels, tired from running around and just didn't feel like walking at all. One of my shoes was loose. My heel kept popping out of the shoe, so annoying! When we got to the car, he tried to come up with ways to fix that. I told him I had ample other shoes in my room, we could drive back there and I could just change shoes. He told me that was not necessary, he gave me his inner soles, literally from his shoes that he was wearing, I thought that was so sweet. That didn't work though, eventually, I did what my mom used to do when we were little and just stuck in tissue in there and was good to go. Dan held my hand the entire time, and whenever we saw benches, he would say, let's take a break. He's the sweetest guy! So thoughtful!

He told me he wanted to take me to his favorite resort, one that reminds him so much of home, (Italy), the Venitian! We walked around the mall, he told me he could buy me flats if I was still uncomfortable. I was fine though, and we wouldn't want him to spend any more than he already did on me. We went to this nice floor where they had outside dining areas, a faux lake, gondolas, fake sky, the works. It's all reminiscent of Venice (Venitian, get it?). I had never been to Venice so to me it was reminiscent of Montecasino which is Italy inspired as well. We found a bench and sat down and talked while facing the lake. I took lots of pictures. It was truly amazing! Whenever I pass The Venitian, I think of Daniel. He wanted to head out to California early the following morning. He was going to give me a ride back to LA which is so not on his way but he was just being the nice guy that he is. He wanted us to head out around 5. I was like, so what you're telling me is I should get up at 4am tomorrow? We looked at the time and it was past midnight already! I had less than 4 hours to sleep. I know we're in Vegas and sleeping's for the dead but dang! We agreed on 7am or so.

I had promised myself that I was going to try the steak and eggs from Ellis Island Cafe, I had a few hours to do that before heading back to LA. So I did what any self respecting person would do, after Daniel dropped me off, I ran to my room, changed into comfortable clothing, and walked to Ellis Island. Luckily, it's only a few blocks from my hotel. They don't do take out (take away), so I had to order as if I was going to eat there, then ask them to put my stuff in a take out container, like afterwards. They have time to dirty their dishes. I went with their pork and eggs instead of Beef because I like pork and I am not a big fan of beef. I saw some delicious, devilish everything dessert so I ordered that too, 1am as it was, on account of; it's my birthday-ish. Technically, it was the following day but who's counting? The dessert is called That Really Big Ice Cream Brownie Thing. No kidding! That's really what it's called! How can you not want that? It's chocolate brownie (favorite!), Caramel (favorite), Vanilla ice cream, fresh cream, chocolate sauce. It is utter madness on top of madness, and it's a lot for $5. I rushed back to my room. This is after 1am, I am power walking to my hotel in the middle of Las Vegas by myself with Pork and eggs and That really big ice cream brownie ting! Just imagine! Would you do that?

My food was still warm when I got to the hotel, I put the dessert in the fridge while I ate and got so full, I saved dessert for breakfast. Might as well, right? It's not like I didn't have desert for breakfast on my birthday as well. I set my alarm and put my phone on charge far enough that I would have to get out of bed to turn off the alarm. I set the alarm on my iPod as well. They have the dock thingy on my headboard, so I hooked it up to that and their speaker is nice and loud. That was a nice treat. Daniel and I danced to my music one of the nights when he came up to check out my room. I get get  all my guys to dance and sing, whatever! This is not American Idol. No judgement here! Elvis and Spotty were the best singers of the guys I dated here. Perry loved to sing but he ain't no Rock Star. I liked that he didn't take himself seriously though.

I got up on time, took a shower and, wait for it.... ironed my new dress. Yup, my second time ironing cherry was popped! I had to, the dress was a mess! I took some selfies and headed out. The whole time in Vegas, Dan had to wait for me, I was never on time. He asked me nicely to please try when we were leaving. He didn't think I had it in me. He couldn't believe it when he pulled up and I was waiting outside the hotel with my suitcase. I had already checked out and errythang! I posted on Twitter/Facebook, something along the lines of heading back to Hollywood with Sheryl Crowe's Leaving Las Vegas playing in my head. I get in the car and what does Daniel say? There's a song about leaving Las Vegas by, er, who is this female singer?

Sleeping Is For The Dead

My days in Vegas started early. I wanted to see as much of Vegas as possible. Sleeping is for the dead after all! I went to the Resorts I had always heard of, some of them at least. There is just too much to see everything in one trip! I also took the bus and went downtown to Fremont Street Experience. It's crazy over there! It's old Vegas. I enjoyed it. It's colorful, they have big hotels and casinos over there as well. Well, there are casinos or slot machines all over Vegas, even at supermarkets, 7 Elevens and gas station convenience stores. To give you an idea. That's what makes Vegas Vegas.

I took a bus from downtown, I went to Premium Outlets. T, my ex friend from Connecticut used to talk to me about Premium outlets. She lived close to one and had bought just about everything she had from there. Everything she owns is a brand name. Most of them are Ralph Lauren. She paid close to nothing for them. all her jeans are True Religion, also from the outlets. She had promised to take me there but we never got to go. I was excited to finally have a chance to go to one. This isn't your mama's factory shop; it's an entire shopping centre full of factory outlets! I just recently found out there are two in Vegas. What I like about the buses in Vegas is, not only do they announce  the next stop, they also tell you what's close by and how to get there, especially with major attractions. The trains in Los Angeles do the same thing, come to think of it. 

I started from one end. I saw a lot of tourists with wads of bags, people be shopping left, right and centre! They were buying extra luggage and filling it up with stuff. There are clothing stores, luggage, shoe shops, perfume and make up outlets. What could be better than that? The luggage store was meh. I've seen cheaper store. It's hard for me to find something in these so called cheap places because I buy my stuff really cheap. I'll go to a store that's not particularly cheap and find things at knock off prices. I am lucky like that. That has spoilt me. I ain't complaining though. I found a store that had cute $10 mini skirts. Nothing to write home about. I've seen the same skirts for $3-$5 in LA. That was the cheapest store! They strategically placed the cheapest store right at the entrance of the shopping centre, to raise give you hope. Things get really expensife from there on. You have a better chance of getting better deals at Ross Dress For Less, Marshalls, T.J. Maxx and Khol's. Or the random non chain stores. I spent quite some time at Premium Outlets because you never know where you are going to find a deal. I wasn't impressed. Especially having just found a few good spots in LA where I bought my vacation wardrobe. I rolled my eyes and headed back to the strip. 

I had lunch at the nearest fast food restaurant and headed to my hotel. It was time to move to hotel #2. I had already checked out of the first hotel and dropped my suitcase off at the second one. Both hotels are along the strip. It's a mere bust ride. Just make sure you don't get lured in by the marketers otherwise you will never get to your destination like I explained here. I checked in, asked the concierge a few things about their services and headed upstairs to my room. I never unpacked. I was only there for a week, no time to unpack and repack and all that. My clothes are all wash and wear anyway, so no stress about ironing. Yippee! My room was so beautiful! Totally different to the one at Luxor. This was at Bally's. You can look up the hotels if you wish to get an idea, I do have pictures, one day when I have faster internet, I will post picture blogs.The room at Bally's was much more modern, it was silver and white with a splash of red. Really cute! It was just a bedroom with a couch and a desk like normal hotels. Unlike the penthouse I had at Luxor. I had the view of the Eiffel Tower of Paris hotel/casino next to Bally's. I wasn't complaining at all. The bathroom was cute and a decent size as well. I took a shower and got ready for dinner date with Daniel. 

Daniel had told me the day before that he might have a business dinner the following day. We had planned to have dinner together every night while we were both in Vegas. He asked if I wanted to be his date for the business dinner. I must say, that made nervous, a little bit. What am I gonna wear? What am I gonna talk about with these people I don't even know? The guy he was going to meet with was going to bring his wife so I was going to balance the scales. Shoot! Are they gonna be like, so, how long have you two known each other? How did you meet? Crap! I was flattered that Dan was comfortable enough around me to want to introduce to business associates. I did secretly wish the meeting would not happen. Is that bad?

Around lunch time, I got a call from Dan. He told me that the meeting had been cancelled. I quietly breathed a sigh of relief. He and I were still on though. Cut back to evening, after my shower in the new room at Bally's...D picked me up. We drove around, did more sight seeing. I love driving around aimlessly. It's one of the things I miss about having a car. One of my favorite birthdays, I had just bought myself a car. I had my favorite CD of that time, Katie Meluah, my then boyfriend had bought it for me for Christmas. It was CD and DVD. I got up early, birthday fell on my day off, thankfully. My apartment was nice and clean, it smelled fresh, I took a nice bath and off I went. I was grateful for my life. I had a job I loved, my own home, had just bought a car I had always wanted, my family was fine, everything was just how I had wished. It was a good day. I drove around from Pinetown, went towards Chatsworth, The Bluff, I was just driving, listening to music, enjoying the moment.Eventually, I went for breakfast, then a boat ride then lunch and then headed home. Anyway, this was a night drive with Dee, even better. I love those, what could be better than going for a night drive is going to a night drive to the beach. Oh man!

We then went to The Stratosphere; the tallest building on the west of the Mississippi. Dang, I just found that out now. I just assumed it was the tallest building in Nevada at least, the west of the Mississippi? There are 24 States on the West of the Mississippi, which include California! Anyway, we went to the top of the building. I didn't know what Daniel had in mind. I didn't care. I knew he wasn't staying there, so we were definitely not going to his room haha. We went to the uppermost floor, you pay to go in and check out the view. It reminded me of the day we went to Carlton Centre, tallest building in all of Africa. My family and some Australian friends went over there just before the Soccer World Cup in 2010. It was nice and dark, the lights were on all over the city off Johannesburg. It's quite a site if you haven't been there, do yourself a favor! We stood up there on the balcony and enjoyed the view while chatting. I told him that I think I wanna move to Vegas next. He was like, no you don't! I told him I was seriously considering it. After all, why not, right? He told me he doesn't like it here, this is his least favorite city, etc etc etc. Unfortunately for him, once a seed has been planted in my head, there isn't much anyone can do. It's not like he was telling me, I'm not gonna let you move to Vegas, you're moving in with me. Not that that's what I wanted but at the end of the day, he didn't have much of a say in the matter. And I didn't even know what he wanted out of the whole situation between him and I and I wasn't going to stick around LA to find out. I had to keep living.


We eventually left. He took us to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Italian for dinner with an Italian, what could be better than that, right? I could always have Italian for desert to aka Him. Dinner was divine. We were the only ones in the restaurant. I don't know where everyone else eats. Looks like everywhere we go, it's just us. Unleessssss, Daniels calls in advance and books the entire place just for us. Haha! They have paper as table cloth and crayons. Different! I doodled on the paper with the crayons while waiting for dinner. D ordered something Vegetarian as usual. I ordered meat and potatoes! Some kind of a stew. It came in a giant pot. I was like omg, what am I gonna do with all these. Pretending to be cute and all, when inside, my heart was smiling. He said, you can take the rest to your hotel and ask them to heat it up for you in the morning. Good idea! He took me home after dinner.We made out and he left, you know the drill :)

Fantasy

As soon as I got off the elevator, Daniel got up. I was so excited to see his tall self!

I ran towards him, threw myself onto him and wrapped my legs around his waist lol. Just Kidding. He is a strong man but even he would fall flat on the back of his head and pass out. I have never understood why people do that anyway, especially to people they don't know well. We went to the car. He decided to switch things up and use a different car this time. Similar car, just as old but apparently drives better than the one he used to take me out in Hollywood. I was like this man sure likes this uhm vintage cars. 

He asked about my day, the trip to Vegas, you know, the usual. He told me about a Vegan restaurant he saw online that he wanted to check out. I was like sure, let's! I've never eaten in a vegan restaurant before. I think he was careful to let me pick a restaurant seeing as I picked the most expensive the first time haha. Oh well. I ain't sayin' she a golddiger, but she ain't messing with not broke n*gga. Trust me, I'm far from a golddiger.

We drove for a good twenty to thirty minutes before we found it. We didn't get lost or anything. What Dan does is, he studies the map, memorises it, and heads straight to the place. Pretty impressive actually. I have noticed that most cities are pretty easy to navigate in if you relax and just follow directions. Most city streets are in a grid; east to west and south to north. If you've been to the city a number of times and know your east to your west etc and a couple of the bigger streets, you're as good as gold. The restaurant was in a street mall. Apparently, It looked nothing like Daniel had in mind (read: It looked dodgy). We were already there, according to Dan, the place had great reviews online, so why not check it out seeing as we went all the way there already? 

We went upstairs to the restaurant. There was one other couple in there. We picked a table not too far from the door. A nicer waitress came to greet us. We both ordered two waters. 'Er, I'll have a water' (In my best American Accent'. We then ordered two different dishes to share. We both hadn't eaten there before,so we wanted to sample a few different dishes. Dan said he will not be going to that random again, so we might as well try whatever we wished to try then. We ordered one more dish and a salad. The food was ok. Not much to write home about. We had fake chicken, fake steak, fake shrimp and a huge salad. The salad was our favorite thing there. When we were done, we headed out, the owner met us by the door. He was a nice Asian man. He moved to Vegas from San Diego, which is where Dan lives. We had a short conversation and then left. The owner dude was looking at me and giggling majority of the time. 

We went to the car and headed straight to my hotel, The show was going to start at ten, we left the restaurant around 9. We made it back to the hotel in time. Dan couldn't stay for the show. He had work to do and an early day the following day. I was bummed to hear that. I had wished we would spend the entire evening together but I understood. We stood by the entrance of the theatre and made out until it was time to for me to go in. He's a good kisser too. Nice teeth and all that. I'm into all that. We agreed to meet the following evening after work (for him). I went in, found my seat. I had a nice seat, third row. The theatre is small and cosy, there are no bad seats. It was a burlesque show, Fantasy. Half naked women everywhere, then they took off bras, then then then, before you know it, they were naked. It was all done tastefully. Halfway through the show, there was a random stand up show by a lady who knows she looks like Fran Drescher, remember her from the show, The Nanny? The lady who played The Nanny? She's currently on Happily Divorced. Fran, not the stand up comedian look alike. 

The show lasted more than an hour. It was fun. I didn't have a problem sitting there with no company, staring at other women's private parts. After the show, I headed for my hotel, took off my heels. I was tired, it had been a long couple of days for me. I put on my flip flops and went to get myself a snack from Mc Donal's somewhere inside the resort, ate and called it a day! 

Know What I'm Saying?

Just before my vacation, I met, Tortoise online. He is much older. Like, much much. He sent me an email, asking me to prove that I am who I am and am where I say I am. He wanted me to send him mail from Los Angeles. That way, he would see on the postage stamp that the mail was mailed from Los Angeles. He also told me that he wanted to meet up. He wasn't going to drive all the way to meet me in California. He wanted me to meet him at the State-ine. On the border of Nevada and California. I thought he was being ridiculous. I told him that I don't know about him, but I personally hadn't even established whether or not I wanted to be part of his life that I would go through all that trouble to prove to him all those things. I told him that he was the one with issues, therefore he should figure out how he was going to prove all this for his own sanity.

We exchanged a few emails. On my profile, I had selected artist under job. He himself is an artist, he's a painter. He got so excited, thinking that like him, I had gone to school for art. Even if I were an artist, that's not necessary the route everyone becomes an artist. It was rather presumptuous of him, but what are you gonna do? The arts industry entails way more than painters and drawers.

One of the days, he asked to call me, he had told me that he's a blues singer as well. I thought that was interesting. He sounded like everyone I have met in Los Angeles, they are all gifted in more ways than one. Triple or Quadruple threats so to speak.  I gave him my number. I also told him that way, he could prove that I was really in LA. I have an LA number. Still do, even though I'm no longer there. He told me that wasn't proof enough, he still wanted me to write him a letter. Too bad, that wasn't gonna happen! I'm not running up and down the streets of Hollywood, trying to catch the post office in time before it closes to mail a letter to a man I hardly know. Someone I have no intentions of being with. I was just talking to him because he was there and one can always have more friends. Nothing wrong with that. I don't write my friends letters. That's ridiculous, this is not 1864!

After having given him my number, he turned around and gave me his number. He told me to call him. I was like, this guy sure seems to be sure of himself, why am I calling him? Let's call him and see what he has to say that can't be said if he makes the call himself. He merely picked up the phone and asked if I could hear him. I told him I could.
T: 'Can you here me now?'
Me: YES!
T: 'And now?'
Me: YYYEEESSSS!
T: Nooowwww?
Me: YYYYEESSSSS. WHAT'S GOING ON? (rolling my eyes)

Before my eyes could get to the roof of my head, I guitar strings! I was being serenaded! He belted out to the top of his lungs! I was like, well, I be damned!

Funny because earlier that evening, I had chatted with another dude on the same site, he serenaded me as well with his bass guitar. Who can say no to that? The dude from earlier and I had chatted a bit first, he didn't just ram it down my throat. No pun intended.

Tort played the whole song. It seems longer when you had no idea what is going on. I was still kinda taken aback. Afterwards, he asked what I thought of the song. I mean, what do you say? I told him I liked it. He told me that he wrote it for me. Uhm?!?!?!?!?!? Then he hung up. Click! Just like that! The call was just for him to perform his song. I guess that was my paying for entry to his private show!  I was left more confused than before.

We continued to talk over time. He suggested at some point that I could move to Las Vegas if I wish. I could be his back up singer. He performs at open mics weekly and the crowd loves him (?!?!?!!??!). They sometimes let him perform hours in a row, even past the allocate time. I don't know how sober these people are by the time he performs. I'm not saying his bad, I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying? He also has t-shirts that he has drawn on, a number of suitcases full of them that he told me I could also sell when in Vegas if I decide to move here. He owns a three bedroom house. Owns it! I don't know how many times he told me he owns the house as if it's the first thing he has ever owned in his life. He had been married twice before. The second wife used to sell the T-shirts for him. It's team work though. Tortoise will play the guitar, sing the blues (yawn) to draw the crowd in, then I would sell to the crowd. He told me we could split the profit. It probably is a great idea, but I don't know if I want to move to Vegas to be this person's entourage. I want to be the lead in my own life, or even a partner with my better half but nobody's shadow. If I am not his back up singer in a free gig, I am selling t shirt in the desert son in the streets of Las Vegas. I grew up doing that. During school holidays, we had no choice but to help mom sell secondhand clothes and curtains on the side of the streets. I wished I didn't have to but we had to put food on the table. At this point in my life, I don't know if I want to be with a man my mom's age, struggling to make ends meet. Men out there, if you want to sleep with a child, be prepared to make her life as comfy and cosy as ever! Whether they admit this to you or not, no child wants to be with an old, wrinkly man who has nothing to offer. Not just that, but who's going to make her move backwards in life. None of this makes a woman want to take her knickers off and open her legs. Come on now! Two marriages and you still haven't learnt anything? This kind of behaviour bothers me!

I see a lot of men who are old enough to me my father or grandfather who are looking for an independent man, who don't pay for sex, who are not looking to be nobody's sugar daddy, and yet are not willing to date people their age. They want to sleep with children. It's disgusting! These kids are bringing their youth,the humiliation of being with your old, wrinkly ass, what are you bringing to the table? Blues? T Shirts that you don't know what to do with? That's not bringing something to the table? That's something that's been in the garage for years. We're talking about the table here, not the garage. Have some pride!

Daniel and I were going to meet at 7. He was taking me out for dinner on my first night in Vegas. I had tickets to a show that night at 10. Two tickets. I'd invited Daniel to see it with me. He hadn't made up his mind about it yet. Initially, I was going to see Criss Angel's Magic show but apparently he broke his arm and was on sick leave. They told me they had a hip hop dance group that were winners of America's best Dance crew;  Jabbawockeez. Because of the timing of that show, I had to go for a different one because I wanted to accommodate Daniel. The much later show that night was Fantasy, a Burlesque show in a theatre at the resort where I was staying. 

I turned on my phone, sent a courtesy text to Tortoise apologising about him. I explained to him that my phone had died and I had to put it on charge. He knew that I had arrived that very day. His response was, 'you have a phone in the hotel room'. I thought to my self, THE NERVE! Is this fool expecting me to know his number by heart? To then dial it on the hotel phone, to say what to him? I had already told him what I wanted to tell him anyways, that I was now in Vegas, I arrived safely. It was a courtesy call. He has my number, I didn't see him calling me asking if I arrived safely or if  I needed a ride from the station. So please! Instead, he had said that if I have time, I could take the bus to his house and we could hang out over there, I could see this house he lives in that he owns. I could spend the night, the has two spare bedrooms. I should know though that he doesn't have beds in the house. IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE!  There are no beds in the whole house! I would have to sleep on the carpet. He has comfortable rugs on the floor that I could sleep on. Mind you, I'd never met this person and he has all these weird demands from the 1800's. He has a car, and, let's say, hypothetically speaking, I intended to forgo my paid for hotel on the Exciting Las Vegas Strip and go sleep on the floor in the house he owns, Why would I take the bus there? He could at least pick me up. What a narcissist!

I never replied to his text about the hotel telephone. I thought to myself, choose your battles, Brook. So I didn't choose that one. I chose the battle of going out with The Italian Stallion who had driven three hours to take me to a five star hotel on our first date. I put my wig on, make up, perfume, new dress number one, heels. Daniel called when he was on his way to pick me up. Butterflies! He called when he arrived, I was almost done. I was done, right? But not done enough to step out like that! :)

When I was finally done done, I stepped out, took the elevator to the foyer, Daniel was waiting for me there. It was so nice to see him! To think that that was only the second time we were seeing each other in our entire lives after talking for about three months!

Cross That Bridge When You Get To It

The bus must have stopped once or twice on the way to Vegas.

I was well equipped, if you know me, you know I always come prepared and I'm cheap. Shameless too. #NoShameInMyGame. I had gone to the 99 cents before heading out to Vegas. I had a few things in my fridge that I wasn't going to use. I thought, why not return these and exchange them for stuff I can use on the road? Something like that. I headed that way, they took everything. It was like 6 items. I told you, shameless! I got myself some nuts, pretzels, fruit and candy. I get motion sickness, without actually throwing up. Thanks goodness and knock on wood. So, I don't eat just before I go on the road or during. I can get away with having some snacks, depending on how I feel at the time. I'm sure some of you relate. I froze a big bottle of water for the road too. I drink a lot of water, like 2 gallons of water per day. That's more than 6 litres, per day.

I slept throughout and got out to use the restrooms when we stopped. Daniel was already in Vegas. He asked if I wanted him to pick me up on my arrival. I was due to arrive at 05:00. I thanked him for the generous offer but wouldn't put anybody in that position. What time would he have to get up to pick me up? Plus I wanted to look cute when I saw him, no funky breath, crusty eyes and all that crap. I didn't buy all those new clothes for nothing. Shoot! I wanted to get to my hotel, settle in, etc before I meet him. I had everything planned out.

We arrived in Vegas just after 05:00. VIVA LAS VEGAS! Man, I can still feel in my veins the excitement! I grabbed my suitcase and went to the ticket kiosk. I bought a weekly ticket. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever without having to stress about buying tickets every time I got on the bus. Plus you know what it's like, it's no fun taking out your wallet, paying for sht every time. I went into the restroom, freshened up, homeless person style, if you catch my drift. I was going to be out and about all day before my 4pm check in at the hotel. I brushed my teeth, put make up on, I didn't want to be outdone by the showgirls, I had to pull my weight, this is Vegas after all! I put some perfume on. I did take with me two bottles after all.

I took my time getting ready. It was still very early any way. I know Vegas is a 24  City but I had time. When I was done, I looked up buses. I already had an idea that I wanted to take the Deuce double decker bus. I had planned to sit on the top deck (my Cadbury's Top Deck. My favorite.) I had my camera with me, fully charged, i charged my phone while at the station while freshening up as well, I was takinh pictures with the Camera and some with the phone to send to my fam and friends on Instagram and Facebook. It was a great time! When I got off the bus, right across the street from my hotel, by the way, everything is across the street in Vegas, I called everyone back home. From my mom all the way down to my niece. My mom didn't pick up as usual. My two sisters, who I talk to everyday, did. I was like I'm in Vegas, bitches! I tell ya, I was so happy, I was standing at this traffic light, talking on the phone and twerking at six o'clock. The cars were honking, I was waving at everybody. I don't know, I may have been more excited to arrive in Vegas than in the US! I was looking at this stretch of tall buildings ahead of me. I couldn't believe that I was about to enjoy it all. I finally crossed the street when I was done with my phone calls, dropped my luggage off at the hotel and went on my merry way.

I had no specific plans about what to do first, really, I stood in front of the hotel/resort, looked left, right, left and went left! there was more going on on the left. The right was where the bus had come from, I'd seen some of that side. Legoooooo!

I went in and out of casinos. Here's the thing, the casinos in Vegas aren't just casinos, hotels aren't just hotels. They are some of, if not, the biggest hotels in the world. It's hotel/casino/resort. There's something to see or do in every hotel. Some people come to Vegs, stay in their Resort until they leave. They have everything you need entertainment, right there! To go to the next resort, you usually don't even need to go out the building and get fried by the desert sun, you can do so by exiting through the side door of one resort right into the next. There are no windows in the resorts and no Clocks. There's no way of telling time. Free drinks for gamblers. So here you are, trying to find your way to a particular spot on the Strip, you're trying to get to the bus, but because everything is across the street in Vegas, you have to take an elevator, go upstairs, cross a bridge, get to the other side, take another elevator, then get into a casino, to get  to the next one or something, like, nothing is straight forward. It looks like it is. Everything looks like it's right here, there's something about the way they build these things, they are ginormous and they look like it's the next building, don't try to walk there, take the bus. It's not as close as it seems. Trust me. Anyways, so you've just crossed the street, trying to get to the next building, you walk into the one right by the elevator, someone stops you with a giant smile, asks if you're alone and offers you free stuff. They give you the most lucrative deal you can ever imagine. Before you know if, you'e ready to take out your credit card, as you're busy with this one, there are two others making eye contact with you. They're the most beautiful people and are dressed to the nines. They have amazing deals for you! They will offer you something like, a day packed with trips around the strip, to the attractions, free buffet, a limo ride, and $500 worth of gambling money. All you have to do is pay $50 for it. I ain't kiddning ya! That's all! Here you are, thinking, if I was going to go to some of these places and pay $50 per gig, why won't I go for this deal and get $500 on top of it to gamble. You're buying $500 for $50. Plus you could win some money gambling!

Whether you take the above deal or not, say you decide to try your luck on the Penny Slots. What's a penny, right? A Cent! I mean, really now! A hot waitress, comes by, offers you free drinks, you keep gambling, they keep the drinks coming. You win some, you lose, whatever, you're getting buzzed. Before you know it, you're hungry, you see a sign for Mc Donald's right inside the building. You're thinking, Dollar menu! Yay! You make your way there, distracted, taking pictures, sometimes you lose signal on the phone, so you keep moving. Who cares? You're in Vegas. You stand in line, order a wad of food from the Dollar menu, you're thinking it's only a dollar each but you end up spending what you would've spent at a buffet for way more and a different experience. Mc Dee's are everywhere anyway. You sit, eat, get full, then realise how tired you are. You walk out the hotel, try to find a bus stop, which is probably on the other side of the street. You forgot all about the spot you were headed for to begin with. That's Vegas for ya!

I heard they release oxygen in the middle of the night into the casinos to keep people wide awake and fresh, that way you don't go home, you keep gambling. You know, the house always win, so this is all to their advantage. If you lose a lot of money, you can get everything for free. This is a trick into making you not feel like an absolute loser for losing it all. But really, you have! When you go home, reality will sink in. I'm glad I don't drink. I don't have to play penny slots for free alcohol and spending all my money, one penny at a time. I am also not a big gambler. Anymore ;) I gambled some in Fourways, South Africa. Monte Casino.

I walked around, took pictures, asked strangers to take pictures of me with my camera, took pictures with strangers with their cameras. All in the name of fun. It's Vegas, everyone's in a good mood. They know what happens here will stay here, unless you get herpes, the gift that keeps on giving or fall pregnant. Around 3pm, I crossed the street, and started making my way back towards my hotel. Check in was 4pm. I was tired. I wanted to take a nice bath, haven't taken a bath since Connecticut, when I first got to the US. I took the bus back south on the Strip, got off right across my casino, crossed, I was getting used to the crossing thing. And you know, you don't just cross anywhere. You might have to walk an entire block before you can cross and like I said before, sometimes you've gotta cross that bridge when you get there. But what can you do? Nothing can bring you down, you're on vacation! Everyone's smiling atcha!

I got to the hotel, waited in the check in line for about 15 minutes before they did me. Get your mind out of the gutter! I see you! According the desk, The room that I had won was no longer available. Plan B was to upgrade me to an even better room. What! Sign me up! She showed me the one I was supposed to get, then showed me upgrade options. I tell you, they upgraded me three rooms up! I was like, is this the best day of my life or what? I was so happy, I could kiss the lady. she gave me the pen to sign some paperwork. The pen had the hotel's name and was amazing to write with. I have a thing about pens. I still have pens from Durban, Joburg, Georgia, you name it! I asked her who I would have to sleep with to get one of those pens. She thought that was funny but really, must as I love pens, I needed to get laid more than I needed the pen. She gave me about a dozen of those pens and told me she loves me I made her day. I thought to myself if you love me so much, why am I not getting laid right now? Plus you don't need to tell me you love me jut to get into my knickers. Haha. Legoooooo! #WhatHappensInVegas

I got to my room, the dude brought my luggage to the room. The room was ginormous! I had two queen size beds, a dining area with a small table and two chairs, a living room with a giant purple couch, big flat screen tv, a huge bathroom with a big shower for two, you know, with two heads? I had a jacuzzi in my bedroom, well, next to one of the beds was a staircase, and then the jacuzzi, and an amazing view of the strip. Man, is this heaven or what? I only had a couple of hours before my appointment with Daniel. By the way, he called to check up on me during his break at the convention. I told him I was here, and was having a blast. He was excited to meet up later. We both were. I turned the tv in the bedroom on and soaked in the jacuzzi. There's a man I met online who lives in Vegas. I started talking to him not too long before my trip. You wanna have backup you know? I didn't even know Daniel was going to be in Vegas at the same time as me then. We'll call this man Tortoise. He knew when I was going to be in Vegas but we didn't make any solid plans to meet. He told me to call him if I had a gap in my day and maybe we could go to a gig and I can watch him play.

I called Tortoise, told him I was in Vegas, we talked for a minute and my battery died. I put the phone on charge and went to sleep. I took a two hour nap. Before I knew it, it was time to get up and get ready for my date with Daniel.


Happy Halloween, folks!

Have A Nice Day!

I couldn't wait to go back to the apartment to tell Carly about the Surprise. It was a nice way to start my birth month!

The show was great as usual. I think I went to the Arsenio Hall Show that night. Then back home. Nothing eventful happened thereafter, the usual girl talk with Carly, laughing until out stomachs hurt. I swear, she and I would as much as look at each other and we would roll on the floor laughing. It was great. She reminded me so much of my niece who doubles up as one of my best friends. We had our ups and downs. She never cleaned up after herself. I would like to lie and say, it's the story of my life, none of my roommates ever clean up after themselves but that won't be true. Just the roommates I had at my own apartment didn't clean up. All my other roommates, at least here in the US, did. The Superhero one, would wake up and spring clean, it was adorable. If I didn't know him well enough, sht, I'd thank him for it. If you know what  I mean ;)

Carly would drop a piece of paper or something, anything, on the floor and be ever so nonchalant about it. It's a small apartment, you wanna pick up after yourself cos it doesn't take much to mess it up. I remember one day, I was so fed up with her shenanigans, I asked her if she was gonna pick that up, she looked at me, smiled, made a cute face, batted her eyelashes and kept talking. Like, hello, I don't sleep with you. I got the same thing you have, your batting your eyelashes is wasted on me. Pick the thing up and throw it in the garbage bin! It's a small place. It will take you the same amount of time to throw it in the trash can as it did you trying to seduce me! With more positive result. Let's go! Anyway, she kicked it under the bed and kept talking. It bothered me so much, I felt like she found my Achilles heel and was on it! And was enjoying watching me squirm.

Honestly, the messiness was the only problem I had with her. Only, it was a big problem because everything in the apartment was mine, so whatever is getting messed up, I have spent money on and she didn't. I am not a big fan of cooking. I stock my fridge up with tv dinners aka frozen meals. They have some good ones out there. Clearly, I'm not high maintenance, right? Or I must really hate to cook. I have one pot. A Cute, expensive, all in one I got from the Queen La Fah show. You can use it on the stove top, in the microwave or in the grill. It's amazing. After Jon moved out, I decided to start cooking and eat healthier. I had been using said pot a lot more. By the time Carly moved in, it was always on the stove being used or in the sink getting washed. That cycle stopped when she got there. First of all, after Jon moved out, I promised myself No more Mr. Nice guy! Pay 50% rent and use you own sht. This is not your grandma's apartment! 

Carly didn't care though, she has the most impressive sense of entitlement. That girl will take your earphones while you're at work, by the time you need them, she's away for the weekend. I'm talking about the ones that you stick into your ears. How gross is that? I had to use alcohol and Peroxide to disinfect them before I used them again. You can get earphone for a dollar. I don't know why she couldn't grab herself a pair. For some reason, she liked my nail polishes more than hers, so she would ask to 'borrow' mine. It's awkward. Nail polish is not expensive, she was working as a waitress and had her father pay rent for her, she came home with tips every night and would buy take out dinner every night, eat it on the bus and come home and throw the containers in the trash can, go to sleep, wake up the following day and go to work, come back with more take away containers, stuff them in the trash can. If they don't fit, they're gonna be placed on top of the can. Fck anyone else who may want to use the can. Or you can empty it. Seriously, some of the things she did, I could swear she did them just to spite my ass. Why would you go through the trouble of taking home empty containers? I''m talking about a big one for maybe a burger, one for fries, one for salad and a giant one for soda. Like a whole five meal course worth of containers! 

She also cooked a lot. There's only one pot in the apartment. That's not enough for one person, but if you are going to move in, have the decency to at least buy one more, that way you can make two pot meals. Right? Wrong! She would use that one pot, watch desperate housewives on Netflix and completely forget about the pot. That girl burnt that pot every single time she cooked with it! I'm like, don't you learn? Lower the heat! It's not that hard! (That's what she said haha, sorry, I had to ;)) She would bat her eyelashes and burn it again, sht, she didn't give a flying rats's ass. She would then soak it in the sink and live it there, eat take aways until the pot is cleaned. Not by her. My heart was bleeding. 

Second week rooming with Carly, I got ready for Vegas, as I have told you a little about it on this blog. I talked to my 'boss' whose birthday is on April 12th. Mine is on the 10th. Feel free to diarise it. I'm big on special occasions. It's the Hollywood girl in me. I will celebrate the opening of an envelope! I'm just that girl! I packed a week in advance and kept making changes until the final day. All my stuff fit in my carry on suitcase. It was a week's trip, I was going to go there by bus. I wasn't trying to be ridiculous. I had the carry on bag and a hand bag, that's it! 

Dan had invited me to leave me early, so we would have more time to spend together in Vegas. He told me that I could stay in his room with him. He had two beds in his room. I was like, yeah, that'll be a no! Thanks though! Under no circumstances is it ever a good idea for a woman and a man to share a room when they are dating before they define what the relationship is! Someone is bound to get hurt. Unless they both know they just wanna be FWB (Friends with benefits). I am not that girl. I'll have a relationship with that please! Thanks. Have a nice day now! 

He was like, don't worry, you can trust me, nothing will happen! I told him, it's myself I don't trust! Whatever. I had to come up with something not offensive to get myself out of that situation. He then told me that he would stay one more night in Vegas just so we could spend more time together. I thought that was very nice. Daniel being in Vegas while I was there that week was one of the highlights of my vacation. And year.

My bus was leaving at midnight. It's a 30 minute commute from my place to Union Station, LA. I left after 10pm. I didn't want to be late. That's like the last thing you need. You would rather be that nerd who is so early, people watching, than miss your bus. I got there nice and early, checked in and waited outside until the bus got there. It was nice outside. Union Station is beautiful too, at least outside, there are nice views, so I enjoyed all that. I was in high spirits, what was there not to enjoy?

The bus left on time. They told me my suitcase was too big for a carry on, so they put it in the back with everyone else's ginormous suitcases that probably had corpses in them smdh. I found a nice seat towards the back and got to seat by myself. The bus was nice and clean. There was a girl who was talking on the phone, telling everybody she loves them. She was literally the only one talking on the phone probably in the entire coach. Fortunately as soon as we pulled off, she wrapped it up. I was tired, I needed to sleep, I wanted to Vegas it up the following day. No time to sleep in the day time. THIS IS VEGAS! I was glad the bus was comfy and peaceful for me to be able to get some shut eye.