Last Comic Standing

I had to think about the idea of having someone stay at my place for an entire two months. Heck, that's longer than some roommates I've had in the past and those experiences were quite something!

Clef and I were sitting in the living room talking, he was telling me about his day, how he is so glad I'm South African. He loves South Africans. He once was in a relationship with a Zulu girl. She's the one who got away. I think when he met me, all those memories came back and he had hope that he won't let that girl, who has reincarnated as me, slip away again. Only, I wasn't looking for a relationship with him. He paid me so many compliments on my looks, it was borderline uncomfortable.

Apparently Clef went to the post office to cash his money orders. The lady who served him called the supervisor, who in turn gave Clef suspicious looks, asked him a bunch of questions and then went to the back with his money orders. According to Clef, they treated him as though he was a criminal and he didn't like it. Who would? He told me that the supervisor was African American, she is the one who discriminated against him the most. One more reason, he's not feeling African American women much, he told me. Apparently, they wanted all kinds of proof from him that those were his money orders. I don't know why, if they didn't think they were his, they didn't just let him go. He told me that he and his brother were in that post office for ever when he finally called the police because the post office people wouldn't give him his money orders back. I was like, the phuck! Are you for real? Eventually, the police made those people return his money orders to him. I felt bad for him that he went through that experience. He went on and on about black people and why he can't stand black people who are this way and that way. He was talking helluva loud too. I was thinking to myself, please sit down and tone it down!

He was so worked up from the post office story that he ended up on his feet, or maybe he likes sto stand on his feet, what do I know? I don't know the guy! he's 6'2 (1.88metres), about 350 lb (158kg) of muscle (. That's a lot of man to be towering over you, talking loud about how much he hates people. Especially someone you don't even know. I wasn't scared. I just wasn't feeling that. I did get why he was worked up, the situation was frustrating and unfair. I felt bad for him. It's just that the walls are thin and neighbors can hear the conversation without trying, so. He went on about black people and white people. One of the reasons he likes Black South Africans is that, like Haitians, we only date within our race. Wrong! But ok. I wasn't going to take my chances and argue with that guy. He seemed to know more about my people than me, so I let him be. Before I knew it, we were talking about religion. Another tricky subject.He sure knows how to pick his topics of conversation. I just wanted to be like, I thought you were a comedian! Well then, make me laugh goddamnit! He showed me a video of some guy who proves how something about whether there is a God or not, I couldn't even tell you the point of it. I was just thinking to myself, how long is this sht. I'm over this conversation. Five minutes or so into the video, he told me that that was actually not the one. But that was interesting too, so to continue watching that one, he was going to show me another one after that. #KillMe!

He later asked what I was doing that night. He was going to call a friend and go to the comedy club with the friend but if I want to, he would like to take me instead. I had heard of the comedy club on Melrose, but had never been. I agreed because it was his first night and he seemed like he had been through a lot but that was going to be the first and the last time he and I ever went anywhere together. He told me that he was going to pay for everything in the club, not to worry about it. We got in my car, as I pulled off, he was like, 'wow! I can't believe this! I'm in a Range Rover in Beverly Hills with a beautiful woman!' I think right there and then he was thinking that he got it made.

I had just filled up my car with gas that very morning. Gas which was supposed to last me for a week if  I worked everyday. When he came up with the comedy club thing, I thought, sht, this is about to cramp my style! Oh well! I asked if they had parking there, he told me that even if they didn't, he was going to take care of parking. Cool! We parked in the street, right by the club. Parking was free from that hour on. When we arrived at the place, the lady asked to see or tickets, Clef told them, 'I'm a comedian!' They let us in. The hell is going on here? I used my gas that I bought with real money and his contribution is free parking and free entrance? Wow!

We sat and watched comediennes. Some were hilarious. I laughed out loud a lot. Clef didn't laugh once. It was quite interesting. He seemed like he was deep in thought. A lot of people recognised him there. Apparently he lives in LA for 2 years ten years ago or for ten years 2 years ago, one of the two .... or ten haha. The last act was a guy who I was rooting for at Last Comic Standing. That was a real treat because that season of last comic hadn't aired yet. I told Clef that I recognised that guy from Last Comic. There was a fight just before that comic's turn. He was so turned off when it finally was his turn because they had to stop the fight, kick people out and all that. He told the audience that he had stuff prepared but was no longer in the mood which sucks because nobody knows him yet.... Clef was like, I do! He asked where from, he screamed, 'Last comic!' The phuck! Btch just stole my line! He doesn't even know the guy!

Anyway, Clef asked if he could do a small set, they told him that there wasn't enough time to squeeze him in. I think that's what was on his mind. He moved back to LA to do comedy, so he wanted to grab every opportunity he had and couldn't get in that night.

He asked me if I wanted to eat. I told him I could use a snack. It was an hour and a half or so into the night and I was hungry. He had told me that he was going to buy us drinks, he must have gotten disappointed when I told him I don't drink. That's not the way into my pants, sorry. In case, he was trying. He asked for the menu, I decided to order the cheapest thing over there, just in case. I mean, I don't know the guy and he was paying at my place, I didn't want him spending more money on me. I had chicken strips. An appetizer (starter). Clef just ordered a glass of wine. I drank my own water that I brought with me. He told me that he wasn't hungry but went on to grab the first chicken strip, dip, bite and dip again. Dang it man! Why you gotta double dip right now? THEN he gave me his Yelp review before I even tasted the things. He was like, 'these are horrible!' Great! Not only did you ruin my appetite by double dipping, you just had to go on and say that! There were only a few strips on the plate anyways. I ate them because I was hungry but they were horrible.

At the end of the night, on my way from the rest room, I bumped into one of my favorite comics from Last comic standing, Tony Baker, what a treat! I called him by name, told him how I enjoyed him on Last comic and asked for a selfie with him. He thanked me and smiled for a picture in which he looks better than me! We left and when we got home, I made a comment about the chicken strips. I went on and on about how horrible they were, I said something along the lines of they tasted like dirty underwear. I was like after all those jokes about vaginas and periods, those chicken strips tasted like dirty tampons. I was just joking. But I was on fire lol. Clef didn't even comment to my review of the strips.

What do you do at the end of the night after you drove someone to a place that was his idea? Do you thank him for taking you out?

Google Me!

Now that Dave and Dot are gone, what am I going to do? I know! Find someone else!


Not that I absolutely enjoyed having strangers' energy in my home, I was just trying to catch up, financially.


I had a guy who sent me links to his Youtube stand up comedy channel to verify he was who he said he was, show interest in  the space. I didn't look up the comedy. Sometimes, you never know if someone is just looking for more views on their channel. I wasn't going to fall prey to that! They guy told me that he was a New York Transplant who moved to LA to pursue stand up comedy. He told me that he was looking for his own place. Understandably so! I told him that I was only looking for someone to stay temporarily. Not a roommate. We seemed to be on the same page. He told me that he was neat and all that.


We exchanged numbers. He swung by to view the place. He showed up with his brother who gave me the third degree from the get. He asked me things like how I found that nice place in such a nice location, how long I had been staying there, did I have furniture when I moved in or did I buy it afterwards, where did I get furniture for the entire apartment just like that, do I drive, what do I do for a living? To name a few. I didn't answer all his questions but that didn't deter him.


He told me that he was a working actor, unlike everyone else in LA who claims to be an actor, he actually has been working and has an IMDB page. He told me to google him. I was like, Are you kidding me? You're so Hollywood! Who tells people to google him? His brother, the one looking for a place, we'll call him Clef, burst out laughing. Why Clef? Because He's from Haiti! Speaking of Haiti, they would have full on conversations in their mother tongue, I was like, do you guys mind? Don't come to my house and take over in a language nobody understands, please! Thank you! They were cool, I felt like I could just be myself and talk to them anyhow I wanted.


Clef gave me his ID and money for the three days he initially said he wanted to stay for. He also told me that he really liked me and the place and wanted to know the longest he could stay. I told him because I didn't really want a permanent deal, I would say, two weeks. He asked to stay for a month. I thought about how I was going to save a great deal on rent and agreed. A month it is! He only paid for three days though and told me that he was going to withdraw money and pay for the month after the three days. I thought that was nice because he was paying more for the three days than if he would have included it in the month.


Clef left his stuff and went to the car, I was also on my way to the Library, so we all left roughly at the same time. I drove out of the parking to find his brother's, Brand New 5 series BMW ( or six or seven, who knows! It was nice though), idling on the side of the street. When he saw me, he screamed, nice car! Then drove off. I think the brother needed to see what car I was driving. By the way, brother also told me he owns his house in Riverside. He told me that he has owned it for a while too. I guess, he must really be doing well, only thing is; nobody cares! When we were still at the apartment, brother stepped out to move his car, Clef was quickly told me that he was currently staying at his brother and as I could see, his brother is very Hollywood, therefore, they don't gel. I felt for him but also wondered who would talk like that about their family member to a stranger. Especially a man. I couldn't make up my mind how I felt about that whole thing.


I drove off to the library and went on with my day. I had told Clef that my house is a shoes off house, he told me that he didn't mind, they have the same tradition in Haiti. I was glad to hear that. When I got back home, I noticed that Clef had been at the apartment. He had placed his luggage on top of my new shoes and almost busted them up in the process. That left a weird taste in my mouth. I had already designated a full closet to him and you've seen my apartment, there's plenty of space there. No need to place your only piece of luggage on top of other sht.


That night, Clef came home just after me. We sat in the living room and chatted a bit. He told me he had just had dinner at some Italian restaurant. He seemed to really like the neighborhood, he told me that he liked how convenient it was too. He was looking to buy a car, but in the meantime was going to be able to maneuver with public transportation. He also told me that he has a lot of money, $5 000, I shouldn't worry about him not paying rent. He's set. I was like good! Good for you! (I, personally don't consider five grand a lot of money, especially, considering the amount of rent I pay and gas for my gas guzzling truck) Just saying!


He asked me if he could stay for two months...........

David and Goliath

When I was in Hollywood Hills, picking up my new furniture, Dot had already left, she was in the West Hollywood vicinity. She waited there to pick up the rest of her stuff from my place. It seemed to my that she didn't want to have to help me load my car, that's why she left before I got there even though she was going to my place and I had the keys. She chose to sit in a coffee shop and wait for me than wait for me at the house. Fine by me! Good looking out, nonetheless!

Before I decided whether I wanted to go back and get the rest of the stuff that night or the following day, Dot told me that she would like a ride back to the Hills on my way back there. I agreed, telling her that I was still not sure if I was going to go back that very night. I was tired, it had been a long day. I texted her when I got home and also told her that I wasn't going to make it back to the Hills that night. She texted me something along the lines of, I should have told her earlier because she wasted a lot of time waiting for me at the coffee shop and her bus pass was about to expire blah blah blah. I thought to myself, I'm so sorry, I didn't prioritize the fact that I did you a favor and kept your stuff after you checked out over my own well being! What the heck! She rushed over my place, took her sht breathing ever so heavily. I thought to myself, well, damn! She mad as hell! I genuinely didn't get the sense of entitlement. I told you I wasn't sure if I was going to go back there, are you kidding me right now with this attitude?

I asked her if she was ok, she told me she was. I asked her if she wanted to take a look in my bedroom. She was walking past my bedroom every time she went to her closet to get her sht anyways, she told me she wasn't going to be able to, she was running late and didn't want to miss the bus. Uhm, what? That's like telling someone to smell the air that they were already breathing and they told you no! They don't want to be late. Oh well! I considered giving her a ride to the bus stop but then again, I was like, no man, this chick is being a bitch right now. I can't condone this behaviour. When she was done, she walked out and said, bye! That's how things ended with my beloved Dot. I couldn't believe that you can have such a good time with someone and things can end up so silly.
____________________

Driving from Hollywood Hills to Beverly Hills, I had to keep telling myself to relax, my stuff would be at home when I got there. It wasn't! I did get a call from the delivery guy telling me he was two blocks away. Oh maybe I called him; I guess I wasn't that relaxed after all!

Kingsize Foam Mattress on the left against the wall

He arrived just after me and just as he did, so did the hot guy from earlier. He had called as I was about to head back to mine and told me he decided to stay with me. My delivery guy was working alone so hot guy offered to help him off load. I told him not to, on account of, he was a tenant and I wasn't willing to pay him for that extra service. He insisted and told me that it was nothing to him. So, ok!

They put furniture in the house. In a flash, my apartment was fully furnished! It was a good day! Hot guy, we'll call Dave. He didn't want to sleep on my 'new' furniture. He told me that I had to get cleaning services to clean it up good first. I was like, suit yourself, dude. For now, I'm just glad to have furniture.

I love these stools, the top part spins around/rotates

Dave told me that he was going to stay just that night and decide the following day if he wanted to stay longer or not. Apparently, he had been staying in Malibu at his brother's condo by himself but he wanted to stay on his own, like, in his own place, that's why he was sleeping on random women's floors. That just didn't add up to me. Beverly Hills is great, but if I had an opportunity to live in Malibu, I would grab it with both hands. Right by the beach, are you kidding me? Plus, he told me he was living by himself there. What's wrong with that?

Dave told me that he wanted to stay for a month at my place while he figured out what to do next with himself. He hadn't quite made up his mind yet. We went to sleep, he in the living room and I in my bedroom on my new queen size bed. I slept great! The following morning, I made us green tea. We sat at the counter, drank and chatted. Dave told me about some of the women he had dated. All of them rich and attractive. One of them lived up the street from me. At one point, he told me to feel his abs, and at the other, his biceps. Both were in great shape but I still don't get why I had to do that. He himself felt silly afterwards and told me that he was sure no one has ever told me to do that before. I just laughed it off. It was around 11 am when I needed to go to the store to grab a few things, he told me that he was going to go to Starbucks to use the internet and do some thinking then let me know if he was going to stay or not. Mind you, I have wife. Very fast wifi at that but I wasn't going to force someone to stay at my place while I was gone. Actually, I appreciate that he stepped out while I was gone. Dave was nice enough to set up my living room and dining room furniture. I felt bad that he was doing all that hard work for me for free. But I was still not going to pay him because if I did, that wold defeat the whole purpose of having him stay here to help me financially.

The Queensize Bed. 

I got back home in a few hours. While sitting in the living room about to do my nails, Dave called. He told me that he wanted to stay at my place because he loves my vibe and how I keep a clean house. He was on his way back. I asked him to bring me $10 in quarters (25c coins) if possible, for the laundry. He arrived as I was doing my nails. I felt kinda bad because the nail polish smell was so strong. I asked if that bothered him, he told me that it was too late, I should have asked him that before I painted my nails. What if it did bother him? Wow!!!!!! I won't lie, that response left a bad taste in my mouth. It was just so rude and I was trying to be nice.

Dining room area. The table can be extended to add two more seats

He sat down and told me he needed to talk to me. I thought to myself whatever he wants, the answer is no! First, after how you just talked to me? Second, I don't know you enough for us to need to talk already!
He told me that he went to the back to withdraw one month's rent and for some reason wouldn't oblige. He asked if he could pay me in full the following day. I told him to pay me some that day and the rest the following day. I asked if he tried withdrawing a smaller amount, he told me that he didn't, then he shoved an ATM receipt to my face to show me that he did have money, it's just that the ATM wouldn't give it to him. I didn't look at the receipt because it's not my thing. I don't like to know how much people have in the bank, it makes me feel weird PLUS! ATM receipts don't tell you who they belong to! That could've been anyone's receipt! Also, I don't care how much money you have in the bank or your retirement fund, I just want someone to pay for staying at my place. If you can't pay for whatever reason, bye! Simple as that!

He told me that the bank was closed, he was going to go the following and find out what the matter was and subsequently pay for the month's stay. I told him to pay for the night's stay and then do what he had to the following day. I jokingly was like, I wouldn't want you thinking I'm a dumb girl from Africa who lets strangers stay at her apartment for free. He told me he wasn't going to think that of me because he knew he was going to pay. I told him, well, I don't know that for sure. It's not personal! That's when he went on about how if you divide the monthly rate I quoted him into 30 days and deduct the night he had already stayed and payed for and the $10 change he brought me and all the work he did for me around the house blah blah blah. I was like, I love you but I don't wanna hear it! Don't come here, and make your own rules. I told you I didn't want you to hep with furniture and you insisted, so that's on you! If you don't pay for tonight, I'm sorry, you can't stay here.

If you squint/zoom in, you can see the $10 roll of quarters on the table top next to the vase. Can you? 

The more we talked about it, the more, I knew I no longer wanted him to stay at my place.
He left to withdraw payment for that night and never came back.

Furniture Shopping

While staying at my place, Dot was looking for an apartment. She was looking more for someone else's fully furnished apartment, like where the owner was temporarily out of town. She wanted to rent something like that. I thought that as a lady in her fifties, she would want something more permanent, but, for each his own! She had two apartments that she was looking at. I asked her why she didn't just find her own apartment, sign a lease and use her furniture that she told me was in storage and have a permanent base for herself. She told me that she had bad credit. I still think she could find something, somewhere if she really wanted it, no matter the shape of her credit record, but that's me. What do I know? I'm just a girl from Africa! I actually, even went on Craig's list and looked at apartments within her price range and showed her nice one bedroom apartments. She seemed excited for a split second but before I knew it, she was going to view the temp homes.

The one she really wanted, got taken. She went to view the second one and came back very happy. She told me she got it and the owner was so kind, they even lent her the car. She could use it for free as long as she needed to. I was like, this is great, man! I somehow thought that was kinda far fetched but, stranger things have happened! The night before she left, she went to work at this apartment on Sunset Strip. She came home so excited, told me that, she locked the apartment, turned around, bumped into someone, looked up and it was Collin Farrell! I was like, daaaayayyuuummmm! Where was this again? She told me she can't tell me that. I was like you didn't sign a non-disclosure with Collin, just tell me where you saw him haha. It wasn't that deep, I wasn't gonna stalk the guy or anything like that. I have his sex tape, I'm good! 

We talked till late that night and as I was about to go to bed, Dot told me that she was going to move out the following day. I wish she had given me more notice, like maybe from the time she got home? It's ok though, we had the best time together, I let that go. The following day, she asked if she could leave her stuff here until after work.  I agreed. No big deal!

It was the weekend, I was going to be out and about looking for furniture but I was going to be in the neighborhood. I asked for the key back because I needed to be able to have someone else move in if I needed to. Plus, her term was up, she would have to work with my schedule if she needed me to do her a favor. I know, I'm strict. I think I'm fair too though. I found a house online that had a yard sale. I called the lady and asked if she had a bed. I needed that more than anything else. She had it! Perfect! I asked her not to sell it to anyone until I get there. I was going to be the first one there, she lived two blocks from me. Day before that I almost bought another bed in my neighborhood but it was sketchy. It had no legs and was kinda old. When I told Dot about it, she looked like she thought I was in a round about way, asking her to help me carry it but I wasn't. I was telling her about my day. It was good to see that she wasn't willing to help me with stuff like that even after everything I did for her. Plus, it was a gigantic bed, she had told me that if  I found a bed, she was ok sharing with me. I wasn't but I thought if you want to share my bed for the same amount you're paying for sleeping on the floor, why wouldn't you want to help me carry it?

Anyway, I ended up not buying that bed. I went to the yard sale and bought just about everything they had, they were morning out, I was moving in, perfect! I got great deals too, I was the first one at their home and they hadn't even put the stuff out, we just carried stuff from their place to my car. I drove two blocks with a bed set on top of my Land Rover and a sht load of stuff inside. Thank goodness, it was just two blocks! I arrived at my house, thankfully, I'm on the ground level, and offloaded the bed all by myself. I carried the entire Queen bed and mattress to the apartment. It wouldn't fit into the hallway and my bedroom. I took a screw driver out and unhinged the doors and stuck it in there! I set the whole thing up in no time and was so proud I did it! My wish was to have a King Size bed, that's what I have in my list of things for my new apartment. Remember that list? I took the Queen for temp purposes but still had my eye on a King Size. My bedroom looked cute! 

The bed was clean and comfortable, no stains, no bed bugs, thank goodness! I was so happy! I still had my ad up for someone to come stay here for another few days to a week or two, max. I got a text from Dot telling me to drop whatever I was doing, someone is moving out and they had a king Size bed. I thought to myself, damn it man! I just just bought a Queen size bed. But I've always wanted a king size. She knew this, because I told her. She told me they had furniture for the entire house. This was going to be a one stop shop for my entire home. It was perfect but I was tired from moving the bed and other things I bought from the first yard sale! 

I got an email from a very handsome man wanting to come have a look at my place. He asked if he could call me. I was still debating whether I should go to Hollywood Hills to check out the furniture Dot was talking about or just go to sleep. There were no pictures, apparently the guy had posted an ad up on Craig's list but to find that was going to be another mission. I sucked it up and told myself, there will have to be something I will like. I gave the handsome guy my number. He called immediately. We talked, like old friends, he was another cool one. I told him I was on my way out. He rushed here and got here before I left. He also help hinge the door back for me. That dude was so handsome yall! He was so good looking that when I opened the door, the first thing I said was, 'wow, you're so handsome!' I had to get that out of the way! Then I told him to take of his shoes because I needed to know how big it is! Haha, just kidding. My home is a shoes off home. 

We chatted a bit. He told me that he was going to check out another place, on the other side of town and then let me know what he decided. I was like, ok, sure. I was renting out space on my living room floor. The other place he was going to check out was a fully furnished bedroom with it's own bathroom in a two bedroom apartment with a guy who is never home. That was a much better deal for him. I didn't expect to hear back from him. I went to Hollywood Hills and liked everything I saw there, I took the first load of stuff home by myself in my truck and then called a delivery guy and asked him to deliver the rest for me. 

Everything went so smoothly, we loaded the truck, the seller even helped load the stuff. I gave the guy my address, we followed each other for a split second, then he disappeared. That's when I realised that he had my furniture and I had no way of getting hold of him other than a phone number! 

A-List Celeb

On our off day, Dot told me a very interesting story about a situation she had with an A list Celebrity. How she saw an ad in a local newspaper where the guy was looking for an assistant and replied. The Celeb himself called her back, they talked daily about all things under the sun. Her mom passed on during that week, before she started working for him. He offered to pick her up in a limo and go to the funeral with her if she needed the company because by then, after talking so many hours on the phone, they were friends. She refused, thinking that that would disrupt the entire funeral. People would be too focused on the limo and who was getting out of it etc.

Dot told me that this was just after she got back to Los Angeles from touring Europe on her world tour when she had her record deal. Apparently she was a real musician. She also danced ballet all her life, she showed me how that ruined her big toes. She was also a pianist, had been playing since she was five. She was a very fascinating person. I liked her personality. We were alike in so may ways. Kindred spirits, if you will. She has a boyfriend who is a cameraman, amongst other things. She told me this when I mentioned to her that I am obsessed with cameramen. I would love to find a man who is a tall, dark haired, blue eyed cameraman. She told me that I was describing her man. What? She showed me pictures of her handsome love. He has the bluest blue eyes and salt an pepper hair. 

He lives outside LA but works in town. I'm not sure why she was not staying with him while looking for her own place but that was none off my business. She told me he makes around $300 a day or was it $3000? I can't remember, it's my information, I wasn't trying to memorize it. I mentioned it now because I wish he had just put her in an apartment or somewhere decent while she was still looking for her next home. 

One day, way before blue eyes, I think, after the funeral, she talked to celeb. He offered to have her visit him in his mansion. She was going to stay in her own room and be pampered as she needed that after everything she had just gone through. She took him up on the offer. He told her to pack a bag and wait for the limo outside. She was told not to be late, the guy couldn't wait, he just wanted to pick her up and drop her off at the Celeb's house. 

Dot didn't have the celebs number, he used to call her with a hidden number. She tells me that she packed her bag and rushed out there door. She saw the limo pull off. She just missed it! She couldn't call the celeb because she didn't have his number and he never ever called her again. Ever! That was the end of her over the phone thing with the A list Celeb. 

Needless to say, she never got the job either. The whole thing flat on its face. It was sad because Dot says they had a nice connection, the guy is spiritual, well,religious. I asked her why she didn't reach out to him on social media or something. She told me that she was also hurt that he didn't even try after that day. Dot then went on to work in New York and all over the place. She worked for all kinds of big time shows, she has stories about people  I wouldn't dare mention here for fear of getting sued. She said that a few years after the whole A list saga, she was at a gas station with a friend... lo and behold there was A list. She knew what he looked like, obviously, but he never got to see what she looked like. She told me that he was gassing up his car, she walked to him and greeted him. She told him who she was and she denied knowing her or ever being a part of that story. She says that he looked like he saw a ghost when she told him some of the things they talked about, things only the two of them talked about, but still denied knowing her. Dot shares a name with the Celeb's sister, so that was another thing. Things you wouldn't just make up, if you were in Dot's shoes. 

That was a weird ending to a really fascinating story, I won't bore you with details, it's a very long story. I enjoyed it when she told it to me. We drove to the store, bought fried and grilled chicken and garlic bread while she was telling me the story, came back home, sat on the camping chairs and ate ourselves silly, while she was still telling the story. I didn't mind, I felt like I was there! Like I was part of the whole thing! It was great! 

She's happy with her man of more than a year, blue eyes. I think they met while doing production in one of the studios here in LA. I've worked numerous times at that studio but I would rather not mention it for the sake of her anonymity. 

While still here, during her one week stay at my place, Dot had a rendezvous with blue eyes. I asked what she was going to wear, I was just living vicariously because I didn't have my own blue eyes. She showed me a skirt she was going to wear. I had never seen her legs, she always wore jeans, tomboyish because of the kind of work she does but she has a good body, she's a dancer. When she put the skirt on, I was like dang girl! I had never seen her hair either, lol. I kid you not, she always had some kind of headgear on. She asked to do her nails because mine are always done. I was like, you got it! We never slept at night anyways, why not put our hands to good use while chatting away? I did her fingers and toes, she loved both! We used different colors. She told me her man was going to love it. 

I had taken her to the mall close by one of the evenings, she liked my Guess bag. They had a few but nothing quite the same as mine. She went there the following morning to buy it when she got paid before she met up with her man. They were going to spend the night and the following day somewhere in Calabasas or something. I thought that was interesting considering he doesn't live that far from LA and Calabasas is kinda out of the way too, why not just go to his place? Anyway, they had a good time. He took her, wait for it, to a nail salon for a meni-pedi! Are you fcking kidding me? I spent my precious time and four different nail polishes doing your nails just last night and within 12 hours you gonna take all that off? Wow! I didn't know how to react when she told me with such excitement that they went to the nail salon. It was like a stab in the back. Also, who does that to someone who went out of her way to doll you up? I made her pick the colors she wanted and everything! If you know me, you know I have all kinds of nail polish under the sun. That was a treat for her. Oh well! 

Her guy also bought her an amazing dress, apparently they were gonna go to the beach. She told him that she didn't bring bikini. He was taking her to buy a bikini when she saw the dress and loved it. He told her that she was going to have to choose between that dress and the bikini. I was like, ok, so you picked the dress, does that mean, no swimming for you? Anyway, the dress was gorgeous. It looked expensive. I found myself quietly praying, Lord, let me find myself a man who, in this situation, would buy me both the dress and the bikini. Amen! She told me that something amazing happened while they were out. A lady asked them if they were married and blue eyes told the lady, 'not yet!' Dot was so excited to hear that. She told me that she thinks he was going to marry her. I was happy for her. Lord! If we're not married yet after a year and a half of dating, let me know already that he is going to marry me; let him either propose or tell me directly that he wants to marry me. Thanks. Oops! Amen.

Dot Com

After I stopped working for the lady who used to book me often, I started getting nervous about income. I also needed to furnish my amazing apartment. I was sleeping on the floor! Something had to be done! I started scouring the internet looking for furniture. While there, I decided to rent out my living room short term: nightly to weekly, nothing major. I posted an ad with pictures of my living room with the camping furniture haha. What a trip! You know what? People were interested! I be damned! I was clear on my ad that whoever was going to stay here was going to be sleeping on the floor. It was pretty clean but it was still the floor. I got a call from a lady one night while on set. She left a message. I checked it and had a good feeling about her. I emailed her back. I didn't want to call because it was very late. She called me back as soon as she received my email. She had already found a place for the night but wanted to come over the following day to check the place out. It was a date!

The following day, the lady came by. We both were so excited to see each other when she knocked on the door. She told me that she knew it, then pointed at her skin. I guess she knew I was back? I didn't even think about that, she had a bit of an accent, part English, park American, so even if I tried, I never would've been ale to guess her skin color. I just was happy that it was a person with a nice aura. We sat on the camping chairs and chatted the night away. Literally!

She talked to me about the lady who hosted her the night before. The lady lived in Brentwood, nice neighborhood. It's where Gwyneth Paltrow lives. Apparently the lady advertised a private room to rent but when my lady got there, it was a studio that was shared by the lady and her three children. She was looking for the fifth person to squeeze in there because, clearly, four people in a studio aren't enough. I was like, wait! Did this lady post something about having other property elsewhere but this is her weekend spot? My lady, we'll call her Dot, was like, 'how do you know?' I told her that that lady advertises all the time. I saw her ad a lot when I was looking for a place to stay. I even considered it at some point. Dot told me that the lady is very nice, so nice that when Dot arrived, the lady left her with her children and spent the night at her friend's. She let Dot sleep on her bed because she was telling her oldest child to sleep on the floor and let Dot sleep on the couch but Dot wasn't ok with that. Confused yet?

Dot told me how the lady left her cellphone with her oldest kid who was at the apartment with Dot. Meaning, should Dot need to contact the lady, it was going to be interesting. The lady didn't want Dot to leave the following day. She tried to scare her by asking what if I wasn't who I said I was? What if my place is not where or what I stated I was offering on the ad. Dot and I thought that was funny considering the lady herself false advertised her place. We talked about all kinds of things. Dot was really cool people.

She paid to stay for a week. I had a special offer where you got a night off if you paid for a week upfront. She went for that deal. As a matter of fact, no, she didn't, she wanted that special  but didn't have the full amount, she wanted to pay half and half. I told her either she paid the full amount upfront or paid the daily rate. I didn't want to have favors with someone I just met, plus it was business. The only reason that brought the two of us together.

The following day, Dot went to work. After work, she told me how the previous lady had been calling and emailing, asking her to move back in. I was like dang! You only were there one night! She told me that the lady told her she liked her and so did her kids. Very interesting, considering Dot was only there from 10pm until the following morning, when she left around 7am; according to Dot. Dot told me she had to be rude and ask the lady to stop calling her because she didn't understand why the lady wouldn't get it.

We exchanged stories about rooming etc. I told her that I have no intentions of having a permanent roommate here because, I've had enough. I told her about some of my experiences about you-know-who. Lo and behold, that very evening, I got a call from Carly asking what I was up to. She wanted to come by, she was in the neighborhood. Well, she works in the neighborhood, so she's always in the neighborhood. I told her, sure, she could come by. When Carly walked into my apartment, she was staring at the poor lady as if she had a third eye in her forehead or something. I introduced them, we all sat and chatted. Dot got comfortable and was sharing all kinds of information in front of Carly, I sent her a quick text telling her to stop it. She quickly changed the subject. Dot was sharing with us how she makes her money, her gigs, etc. Knowing Carly, she was never going to leave. She would've asked for a notebook, and taken down all of Dot's jobs and poor Dot would've never gotten booked ever again. Hell no! The poor lady was trying to sort her life out, she didn't need weirdness.

Finally, Carly left. Dot told me she liked Carly. I told her I do too but, she must take it from me. She didn't kneed that in her life. That's when Dot started saying things like, wait, what did she mean by blah blah blah and blah blah blah. I told her we could stay up all night discussing her or we could talk about things that mean more to us and our lives. By the way, not long after Carly got here, she asked Dot if she's my roommate or my friend. Like, are you kidding me? Don't ask my guest such questions! You came here to see me, you have any questions, direct the to me and I will answer them accordingly. Dot smiled and pointed at me, as in, ask Brook! I answered her by telling her that Dot was neither and both.

The following day or so, Dot and I were both at home, she told me a story about a mess she experienced in a nice apartment she rented on Melrose. The apartment got flooded and all her art was ruined. Dot is a bit of an art collector and, according to her, an artist herself. She told me that her art from Europe and all over the world was fcked, there was no way of getting that again. Some of it was from street artist. She told me that she has lived in London, which explains the British accent and in Paris. The story was long and sad. I asked her if she sued the apartment people.She told me that she was thinking about it, she also surprised me by telling me that she told the lady from Brentwood about that experience and Brentwood offered to give her her real estate lawyer's contact details. She then told me that, they were texting back and forth all day, the lady from Brentwood was very helpful. I thought to myself, the same lady you told to lose your number because you're not friends? That was quite something.  It made me wonder about Dot a little bit. She told me the lady left as soon as she, Dot, got there but apparently, not before she told her the story of her life. The whole thing made Dot look funny to me.