Me And My Boyfriend

As soon as I told Clef I had bad news, he got up and sat up. My heart was beating fast but by then, it was do or die! He asked me what the news was. I told him that I was going to need him not to renew his stay but to leave the following day. I mentioned my non-existent  boyfriend; that he didn't like that I had a man in the house. Poor Clef was so taken off guard by it all, I really felt bad for him but all he had to do was clean up after himself and we would have been good. Well, not really! He would have to not reprimand me as if I'm his daughter who doesn't know what she was doing, not steal my jokes and stop looking at me as if I were good enough to eat- in more ways than one. Speaking of which, he asked me one morning if I know how to cook. I told him I don't. He was like, that's ok! I think he wanted me to know that not knowing how to cook wasn't a deal breaker for him. I know how to cook but I wasn't about to prove that to him. What for?


Poor guy asked me if I told my boyfriend that he's cool. First, he was like, 'Boyfriend?' I was like, what? Did you think I was lesbian? Not that there's anything wrong with being lesbian, but he seemed shocked that I would have a boyfriend. He was right, I didn't have one. I was lying through my teeth! To my question about whether he thought I was lesbian, he replied that I didn't give him the impression I was in a relationship. "We went on a date!" he said. NO! WE DIDN'T! I exclaimed! YES, WE DID! NO! WE DID NOTTT! In the world was this guy talking about? He was like, it wasn't a romantic date, but it was a date! I was like well, to me, a date is romantic. We went to the comedy club because you wanted someone to go with (translate:because you needed a free ride!) That's how I ended up going to the comedy club with you. What the heck! When he said that, I knew there and then that I wasn't wrong all along when I thought that that guy wanted more than a place to crash. I think he was planning on working his way up to my bed. He wanted to be the California King of the house! Pun intended.


When that date thing didn't work out, he was like, tell your boyfriend I'm gay. I was like, but you're not! He told me that he was going to tell my boyfriend that he is gay as well when the boyfriend meets him. I was like, nah, I'm not ok with that. Plus, whether you're gay or straight, my boyfriend is very jealous, he is just not ok with the idea that I have a man living under my roof. Clef asked me why I had him move in if I knew that I have a jealous boyfriend. I told him because I needed help financially but I didn't discuss it with my boyfriend, when bf found out I had someone staying at the place, he told me that he would rather help me with rent if I need the help. I, on the other hand, am not ok with that idea. I like to be independent. Clef was like, what race is your boyfriend. I told him, come on! That's not necessary!  He told me the bf must be black, it's totally a black guy to be so jealous.


He told me that he didn't believe the random story about a bf. I was dying to ask him why he though I was kicking him out but I didn't want to make it awkward at all, at least, not anymore than it already was. I also, knew that he was being inconvenienced by having to find another place to stay. I didn't want to make him any shittier than he already was. He told me that he never saw me as the kind who lets a man make my decisions for me. I told him that I love and respect my man and don't want to ruin things between us. Clef, finally gave in and told me that he was going to start looking there and then. He thanked me for that because that experience was going to make him stronger. Sarcasm. Get it? I didn't care. I just wanted him gone.


I made a chocolate and pear smoothie for both of us and as I handed him his, I asked, 'truce?' He told me, 'water under the bridge', or something to that effect.


Not too long thereafter, I went to the bedroom, he got on the phone and was talking loud on the phone. I think it was too his brother because he was using that French like language again. Not too long after he got on the phone, he yelled to me, hey! Brook! Hello!
Me: Yes! (eye roll. I am not a big fan of all that yelling across the house. It's tacky! Plus who calls a lady like that?'
He started shooting at me with questions. I think because his brother didn't want him to move back to his house, he was trying to help him stay at mine. It was too late because we had already agreed he was going, I wasn't going to backtrack and then have to have that conversation all over again. It had already taken so much of me to get there.


He asked me things like, but I didn't say that I didn't want only a woman on my ad, I should let him stay. I was like, come on! We've already talked about this! He went on and on, trying to challenge the system. I told him that what he was doing, wasn't helping. He was spending all that time, coming up with ways to challenge a decision that's already been made, instead of looking for a place to stay. That's when he got up and came to my bedroom. He was shirtless. I must say, someone's been working out! He looked good! He told me that he needed time. I couldn't just tell him to move out there and then. I should give him at least two weeks. I was like, you paid for three days, have been here for two nights, you have all day today and all day tomorrow, you can stay here tomorrow all day, until late while looking. I didn't expect him to stay all day the following day. He has his brother, he can move back in with him until he found something.


I wasn't gonna give someone who was officially staying for 3 days, two weeks notice to move out. That's insane, I don't care which universe you came from. Plus, the topic was closed when he agreed and thanked me, sarcastically, for kicking him out. After I told him, he should rather use the time arguing, searching for a place to stay, he was like, you're right! And got out of my room.


It was tense in the house after that. My sister had advised me not to leave the house until the guy moved out. Especially after he told me he was going to show me what happens when people don't close their doors.


Luckily, Clef spent the rest of the afternoon out. He got back home around midnight, just like the night before and was up all night, talking on the phone really loud! I didn't care. I was counting the hours 'til he left. I had am obligation the morning he was meant to leave. I couldn't get out of it, so I just left  him there. As I was about to leave, he asked me how I was in a nice, and  calm voice. I told him I was fine. He asked what time I was going to be back. I told him soon, I had to go to the store. He then told me that he was going to leave around 9/10am. If I wasn't there when  he leaves, he was going to leave the key at such and such a place etc. It was nice to see that we were ok again. Who enjoys tension and awkward moment?


When I got back home, his bag was in the living room, but he had stepped out. He came back not too long after and screamed, 'hey, the key is on the table'.


I replied: Thanks, bye!

Come Rain or Shine

To answer my own question , I thanked Clef for the night out. He told me that they have comedy shows a few times a night at that club and elsewhere on certain days, we could go again if I wanted. I knew I didn't want and I was going to go again, I just wished him good night and went to bed.

First thing the following morning, I went to the kitchen to make myself tea, Clef seemed to have a light bulb moment. He told me, 'I know what my new set is going to be about!' I was like, oh yeah? 'Yeah, yeah! I'm gonna tear up those horrible chicken strips from the comedy club' I can make an entire set out of those!' That left a very strange taste in my mouth, no pun intended! Considering how I tore them up the night before to him and he didn't even have one comment, meanwhile he knew he was going to make an entire set of the whole thing. I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to use some of the things I said. I am not trying to say I'm the last comic standing but you have to wonder.


Day two, Clef left before me to run errands. I had a show the afternoon. I got up, went to the kitchen to make breakfast. His bedding was on the couch. He didn't even fold them up. There's a door between the living room and the hallway to the spare closet that I let my guests use. I have a door to my bedroom, there's no need for one not to want to go through to the closet and stuff the blankets in there. They don't have to fold them up, just to leave them in the living room. Anyway, I left them going to go back to sleep later. I'd hope not, my mom taught us that if you sleep in the living room, be the first one to get up, so that people don't have to be awkwarded when they need to use the living room (sitting room/lounge). Anyway, I try to be open minded because not only was everyone not raised by my mother but I want my guests to be comfortable. I went to use the bathroom and there was pee all over the toilet seat. Not only did he not lift the sit up when he peed but he peed all over it. I'm not saying wipe your pee with tissue after you pee on the seat because then, I'm still sitting on pee but just don't know it. Just don't pee on the seat! Please and thank you! I thought to myself, this is the final straw! I can't deal with this kind of basic stuff that every human being should know. Especially by age 50. Dude was 48! That's 50 years old! Are you kidding me? Who have you been dating that let you get you get away with this sht?


I don't expect everyone to be perfect! I'm not either. It's just that there are basic things like make your bed and don't expect people to sit in your urine that I expect people to know and apply in their daily life. When it comes to men and the toilet seat, I don't even expect them to put it back down afterwards,in fact, if you leave it up, then, I know you had it up. If you leave it up, I leave it down, we're even. No complaints. I had to spring clean the bathroom before I used it, then left for the show. On my way there. I had ample time to think. That's when I made up my mind that it wasn't going to work out with that Clef and I. If that's how he acted in the first day to two, how was he going to be when he was comfortable and not trying anymore. Unless, he just wasn't trying to begin with!


I came back home from the show and noticed that Clef had been at the house. The bathroom was wet, the toilet seat was wet and sticky again and there was black curly hair all over the floor. I have curly hair too but mine is more blonde/brown. I wanted to die when I saw the toilet seat like that. I told myself that I would tell him that after the three days that he had paid for, I would need him to move out. I had to think of the best way to let him go that was not going to hurt his feelings. I could tell him that he lied in his email to me when he wanted to rent the space that he was neat, when in all actuality, he wasn't but that was just something that wasn't going to take us anywhere. Also, I didn't want to end things on a sour note. He seemed to like me, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I didn't want my feelings hurt either. I wasn't willing to clean his urine day in and day out. If I wanted to work with bodily fluids like that, I would go back to caregiving.


I opened up the main door and all windows to the apartment to let fresh air in because we both had been out. I was in my room, doing my thing on the computer when I saw Clef walking past my window. He was home! My heart started beating fast. How am I going to do this with his guy, what if he brought the money for the next two months? Oh Lord, help me!


Next thing, I know... "Hello! Hello! Heeellooo!" He was coming closer to my room as he was yelling hello. He stood by my door and gave me a lecture about how I should never leave the door wide open like that ever! He was like, 'you think just because this is Beverly Hills, there are no homeless people here? These people are dangerous, they will walk in quietly and rob you, clean!' Great! How am I going to kick him out now? This 'conversation' just changed everything! I was sitting there, looking him in the face, thinking, it really will never work out with this guy. He went on to tell me that as a black man, it was his duty to protect me. Blah blah blah blah!


I told him, I believed I was fine, not to worry about me worry about yourself, you're about to be homeless! He wouldn't even hear it! He told me he knew exactly what he was talking about. To trust him. I was thinking to myself that that's how we got there to begin with. I trusted that he would lift up the toilet seat and he didn't. Now what? He went on and on and on. I just wouldn't agree with him. He told me that if I want fresh air, to open the windows, not the door. I like to open the door for an hour or two, to get fresh air in, then close it because I spend most of my time in the bedroom anyways, where my office space is.


He wouldn't have it. I just wanted the conversation to come to an end. I would never kick him out if he was still talking. What? I'm supposed to be like, shut up, I want you out of my place?


That was day two, he had two more night at my place before the first three days expired. I thought that the sooner I kicked him out, the sooner he could find a place for himself to move to. He was going to pay a lot of my money for a couch in the living room anyway, how about use that money to rent a studio apartment in a more central area like Hollywood? Anyway! Eventually, he walked away, not before he did great impressions of drugged out homeless people walking into my apartment unawares. Very good impressions!


After that, he went back to the living room, was working on his cellphone. I was on the computer, I had a porn pop up that would not go away. Clef walked into my room as I was struggling to close the page. He didn't just stand outside this time, as Murphy would have it, he walked right into my bedroom. Which, I didn't think was cool because when I have someone staying in the living room, I try by all means not to be in and out in there. A bedroom is a totally different story. More private. Especially for people of different genders. As soon as Clef walked in, I just shut the computer lid. Clef as like, what's up girl? Don't worry, I have things on my phone that are for my eyes only. I won't judge you! I think he thought I was looking at porn at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Too busy for that sht! Plus I make porn, I don't watch it! Catch that!


Anyway, we talked about whatever he wanted to talk about. He saw a 1970's or 80's car that he wanted to buy that coming Friday. He wanted to know if there was parking for him in the neighborhood. He told me he really loved that neighborhood and was probably going to end up staying there for six month. 'I'm telling you, girl, you're gonna have a problem getting rid of me!' I thought to myself, 'ya think?'


Every time he would start a long conversation that would just not give me a chance to change the subject and kick him out. Plus, I was really dreading it. I went to sleep that night, he was out when I went to bed. He got home around midnight and stayed on the phone the hole night. I woke up and talked to my sister on the phone. I was like, I need to kick this selfish guy out. Who laughs on the phone on the top of their voices at 1am? I'm not talking about burstin gout laughing because someone said something unexpectedly funny, he was just talking loud and being rambunctious. My sister was like, omg, I can hear him from here haha. My sister is in South Africa, I'm in LA lol. She could hear him over the phone. When she told me to just be frank with him and tell him I'm not comfortable. I told her that I don't think he would get it because, he believes he is a great roommate, I would have to come up with something he would believe.


My sister came up with a brilliant idea that I could tell Clef that my boyfriend was coming over and I didn't want him (Clef) to be there for that. I liked the idea of the boyfriend, I had to work around it. I prepared a story to tell him and told myself that when I woke up that morning, I was going to have to have the talk with Clef come hell or high water. My mind was made up, he was going to have to leave no matter what, sorry Clef!  After the call to my sister, I overheard Clef, who wasn't trying to talk softly; apparently, a friend of his was wanted by police. Clef was advising them that the person shouldn't come out until they had raised the reward money. However, The person on the run, should stay at a loved one's place. When they think that the police cannot raise the money anymore, the loved one should call the police as an informant and get all the reward money. That is the money they will then use to raise the criminal's kids or whatever. I'm not gonna lie to you, I thought it was a smart idea but I was like who did I just welcome into my home? After that call, he talked to another New Yorker, telling him to save up to five grand and then move to LA just like he (Clef) did. He was telling the guy how he has found a nice place in LA and if they come here too, he would help them get settled just like him.  I felt bad that I was about to pull the rug from under his feet but it had to be done.


Around seven, that morning, I had gone bathe call with my sister. I was awoken by Clef, he was on the phone. He was talking to his friends in New York, again. I waited around two hours, until around 9:30am, then I went to the kitchen. As soon as I walked into the living room, I told Clef, I had bad news...

Last Comic Standing

I had to think about the idea of having someone stay at my place for an entire two months. Heck, that's longer than some roommates I've had in the past and those experiences were quite something!

Clef and I were sitting in the living room talking, he was telling me about his day, how he is so glad I'm South African. He loves South Africans. He once was in a relationship with a Zulu girl. She's the one who got away. I think when he met me, all those memories came back and he had hope that he won't let that girl, who has reincarnated as me, slip away again. Only, I wasn't looking for a relationship with him. He paid me so many compliments on my looks, it was borderline uncomfortable.

Apparently Clef went to the post office to cash his money orders. The lady who served him called the supervisor, who in turn gave Clef suspicious looks, asked him a bunch of questions and then went to the back with his money orders. According to Clef, they treated him as though he was a criminal and he didn't like it. Who would? He told me that the supervisor was African American, she is the one who discriminated against him the most. One more reason, he's not feeling African American women much, he told me. Apparently, they wanted all kinds of proof from him that those were his money orders. I don't know why, if they didn't think they were his, they didn't just let him go. He told me that he and his brother were in that post office for ever when he finally called the police because the post office people wouldn't give him his money orders back. I was like, the phuck! Are you for real? Eventually, the police made those people return his money orders to him. I felt bad for him that he went through that experience. He went on and on about black people and why he can't stand black people who are this way and that way. He was talking helluva loud too. I was thinking to myself, please sit down and tone it down!

He was so worked up from the post office story that he ended up on his feet, or maybe he likes sto stand on his feet, what do I know? I don't know the guy! he's 6'2 (1.88metres), about 350 lb (158kg) of muscle (. That's a lot of man to be towering over you, talking loud about how much he hates people. Especially someone you don't even know. I wasn't scared. I just wasn't feeling that. I did get why he was worked up, the situation was frustrating and unfair. I felt bad for him. It's just that the walls are thin and neighbors can hear the conversation without trying, so. He went on about black people and white people. One of the reasons he likes Black South Africans is that, like Haitians, we only date within our race. Wrong! But ok. I wasn't going to take my chances and argue with that guy. He seemed to know more about my people than me, so I let him be. Before I knew it, we were talking about religion. Another tricky subject.He sure knows how to pick his topics of conversation. I just wanted to be like, I thought you were a comedian! Well then, make me laugh goddamnit! He showed me a video of some guy who proves how something about whether there is a God or not, I couldn't even tell you the point of it. I was just thinking to myself, how long is this sht. I'm over this conversation. Five minutes or so into the video, he told me that that was actually not the one. But that was interesting too, so to continue watching that one, he was going to show me another one after that. #KillMe!

He later asked what I was doing that night. He was going to call a friend and go to the comedy club with the friend but if I want to, he would like to take me instead. I had heard of the comedy club on Melrose, but had never been. I agreed because it was his first night and he seemed like he had been through a lot but that was going to be the first and the last time he and I ever went anywhere together. He told me that he was going to pay for everything in the club, not to worry about it. We got in my car, as I pulled off, he was like, 'wow! I can't believe this! I'm in a Range Rover in Beverly Hills with a beautiful woman!' I think right there and then he was thinking that he got it made.

I had just filled up my car with gas that very morning. Gas which was supposed to last me for a week if  I worked everyday. When he came up with the comedy club thing, I thought, sht, this is about to cramp my style! Oh well! I asked if they had parking there, he told me that even if they didn't, he was going to take care of parking. Cool! We parked in the street, right by the club. Parking was free from that hour on. When we arrived at the place, the lady asked to see or tickets, Clef told them, 'I'm a comedian!' They let us in. The hell is going on here? I used my gas that I bought with real money and his contribution is free parking and free entrance? Wow!

We sat and watched comediennes. Some were hilarious. I laughed out loud a lot. Clef didn't laugh once. It was quite interesting. He seemed like he was deep in thought. A lot of people recognised him there. Apparently he lives in LA for 2 years ten years ago or for ten years 2 years ago, one of the two .... or ten haha. The last act was a guy who I was rooting for at Last Comic Standing. That was a real treat because that season of last comic hadn't aired yet. I told Clef that I recognised that guy from Last Comic. There was a fight just before that comic's turn. He was so turned off when it finally was his turn because they had to stop the fight, kick people out and all that. He told the audience that he had stuff prepared but was no longer in the mood which sucks because nobody knows him yet.... Clef was like, I do! He asked where from, he screamed, 'Last comic!' The phuck! Btch just stole my line! He doesn't even know the guy!

Anyway, Clef asked if he could do a small set, they told him that there wasn't enough time to squeeze him in. I think that's what was on his mind. He moved back to LA to do comedy, so he wanted to grab every opportunity he had and couldn't get in that night.

He asked me if I wanted to eat. I told him I could use a snack. It was an hour and a half or so into the night and I was hungry. He had told me that he was going to buy us drinks, he must have gotten disappointed when I told him I don't drink. That's not the way into my pants, sorry. In case, he was trying. He asked for the menu, I decided to order the cheapest thing over there, just in case. I mean, I don't know the guy and he was paying at my place, I didn't want him spending more money on me. I had chicken strips. An appetizer (starter). Clef just ordered a glass of wine. I drank my own water that I brought with me. He told me that he wasn't hungry but went on to grab the first chicken strip, dip, bite and dip again. Dang it man! Why you gotta double dip right now? THEN he gave me his Yelp review before I even tasted the things. He was like, 'these are horrible!' Great! Not only did you ruin my appetite by double dipping, you just had to go on and say that! There were only a few strips on the plate anyways. I ate them because I was hungry but they were horrible.

At the end of the night, on my way from the rest room, I bumped into one of my favorite comics from Last comic standing, Tony Baker, what a treat! I called him by name, told him how I enjoyed him on Last comic and asked for a selfie with him. He thanked me and smiled for a picture in which he looks better than me! We left and when we got home, I made a comment about the chicken strips. I went on and on about how horrible they were, I said something along the lines of they tasted like dirty underwear. I was like after all those jokes about vaginas and periods, those chicken strips tasted like dirty tampons. I was just joking. But I was on fire lol. Clef didn't even comment to my review of the strips.

What do you do at the end of the night after you drove someone to a place that was his idea? Do you thank him for taking you out?

Google Me!

Now that Dave and Dot are gone, what am I going to do? I know! Find someone else!


Not that I absolutely enjoyed having strangers' energy in my home, I was just trying to catch up, financially.


I had a guy who sent me links to his Youtube stand up comedy channel to verify he was who he said he was, show interest in  the space. I didn't look up the comedy. Sometimes, you never know if someone is just looking for more views on their channel. I wasn't going to fall prey to that! They guy told me that he was a New York Transplant who moved to LA to pursue stand up comedy. He told me that he was looking for his own place. Understandably so! I told him that I was only looking for someone to stay temporarily. Not a roommate. We seemed to be on the same page. He told me that he was neat and all that.


We exchanged numbers. He swung by to view the place. He showed up with his brother who gave me the third degree from the get. He asked me things like how I found that nice place in such a nice location, how long I had been staying there, did I have furniture when I moved in or did I buy it afterwards, where did I get furniture for the entire apartment just like that, do I drive, what do I do for a living? To name a few. I didn't answer all his questions but that didn't deter him.


He told me that he was a working actor, unlike everyone else in LA who claims to be an actor, he actually has been working and has an IMDB page. He told me to google him. I was like, Are you kidding me? You're so Hollywood! Who tells people to google him? His brother, the one looking for a place, we'll call him Clef, burst out laughing. Why Clef? Because He's from Haiti! Speaking of Haiti, they would have full on conversations in their mother tongue, I was like, do you guys mind? Don't come to my house and take over in a language nobody understands, please! Thank you! They were cool, I felt like I could just be myself and talk to them anyhow I wanted.


Clef gave me his ID and money for the three days he initially said he wanted to stay for. He also told me that he really liked me and the place and wanted to know the longest he could stay. I told him because I didn't really want a permanent deal, I would say, two weeks. He asked to stay for a month. I thought about how I was going to save a great deal on rent and agreed. A month it is! He only paid for three days though and told me that he was going to withdraw money and pay for the month after the three days. I thought that was nice because he was paying more for the three days than if he would have included it in the month.


Clef left his stuff and went to the car, I was also on my way to the Library, so we all left roughly at the same time. I drove out of the parking to find his brother's, Brand New 5 series BMW ( or six or seven, who knows! It was nice though), idling on the side of the street. When he saw me, he screamed, nice car! Then drove off. I think the brother needed to see what car I was driving. By the way, brother also told me he owns his house in Riverside. He told me that he has owned it for a while too. I guess, he must really be doing well, only thing is; nobody cares! When we were still at the apartment, brother stepped out to move his car, Clef was quickly told me that he was currently staying at his brother and as I could see, his brother is very Hollywood, therefore, they don't gel. I felt for him but also wondered who would talk like that about their family member to a stranger. Especially a man. I couldn't make up my mind how I felt about that whole thing.


I drove off to the library and went on with my day. I had told Clef that my house is a shoes off house, he told me that he didn't mind, they have the same tradition in Haiti. I was glad to hear that. When I got back home, I noticed that Clef had been at the apartment. He had placed his luggage on top of my new shoes and almost busted them up in the process. That left a weird taste in my mouth. I had already designated a full closet to him and you've seen my apartment, there's plenty of space there. No need to place your only piece of luggage on top of other sht.


That night, Clef came home just after me. We sat in the living room and chatted a bit. He told me he had just had dinner at some Italian restaurant. He seemed to really like the neighborhood, he told me that he liked how convenient it was too. He was looking to buy a car, but in the meantime was going to be able to maneuver with public transportation. He also told me that he has a lot of money, $5 000, I shouldn't worry about him not paying rent. He's set. I was like good! Good for you! (I, personally don't consider five grand a lot of money, especially, considering the amount of rent I pay and gas for my gas guzzling truck) Just saying!


He asked me if he could stay for two months...........

David and Goliath

When I was in Hollywood Hills, picking up my new furniture, Dot had already left, she was in the West Hollywood vicinity. She waited there to pick up the rest of her stuff from my place. It seemed to my that she didn't want to have to help me load my car, that's why she left before I got there even though she was going to my place and I had the keys. She chose to sit in a coffee shop and wait for me than wait for me at the house. Fine by me! Good looking out, nonetheless!

Before I decided whether I wanted to go back and get the rest of the stuff that night or the following day, Dot told me that she would like a ride back to the Hills on my way back there. I agreed, telling her that I was still not sure if I was going to go back that very night. I was tired, it had been a long day. I texted her when I got home and also told her that I wasn't going to make it back to the Hills that night. She texted me something along the lines of, I should have told her earlier because she wasted a lot of time waiting for me at the coffee shop and her bus pass was about to expire blah blah blah. I thought to myself, I'm so sorry, I didn't prioritize the fact that I did you a favor and kept your stuff after you checked out over my own well being! What the heck! She rushed over my place, took her sht breathing ever so heavily. I thought to myself, well, damn! She mad as hell! I genuinely didn't get the sense of entitlement. I told you I wasn't sure if I was going to go back there, are you kidding me right now with this attitude?

I asked her if she was ok, she told me she was. I asked her if she wanted to take a look in my bedroom. She was walking past my bedroom every time she went to her closet to get her sht anyways, she told me she wasn't going to be able to, she was running late and didn't want to miss the bus. Uhm, what? That's like telling someone to smell the air that they were already breathing and they told you no! They don't want to be late. Oh well! I considered giving her a ride to the bus stop but then again, I was like, no man, this chick is being a bitch right now. I can't condone this behaviour. When she was done, she walked out and said, bye! That's how things ended with my beloved Dot. I couldn't believe that you can have such a good time with someone and things can end up so silly.
____________________

Driving from Hollywood Hills to Beverly Hills, I had to keep telling myself to relax, my stuff would be at home when I got there. It wasn't! I did get a call from the delivery guy telling me he was two blocks away. Oh maybe I called him; I guess I wasn't that relaxed after all!

Kingsize Foam Mattress on the left against the wall

He arrived just after me and just as he did, so did the hot guy from earlier. He had called as I was about to head back to mine and told me he decided to stay with me. My delivery guy was working alone so hot guy offered to help him off load. I told him not to, on account of, he was a tenant and I wasn't willing to pay him for that extra service. He insisted and told me that it was nothing to him. So, ok!

They put furniture in the house. In a flash, my apartment was fully furnished! It was a good day! Hot guy, we'll call Dave. He didn't want to sleep on my 'new' furniture. He told me that I had to get cleaning services to clean it up good first. I was like, suit yourself, dude. For now, I'm just glad to have furniture.

I love these stools, the top part spins around/rotates

Dave told me that he was going to stay just that night and decide the following day if he wanted to stay longer or not. Apparently, he had been staying in Malibu at his brother's condo by himself but he wanted to stay on his own, like, in his own place, that's why he was sleeping on random women's floors. That just didn't add up to me. Beverly Hills is great, but if I had an opportunity to live in Malibu, I would grab it with both hands. Right by the beach, are you kidding me? Plus, he told me he was living by himself there. What's wrong with that?

Dave told me that he wanted to stay for a month at my place while he figured out what to do next with himself. He hadn't quite made up his mind yet. We went to sleep, he in the living room and I in my bedroom on my new queen size bed. I slept great! The following morning, I made us green tea. We sat at the counter, drank and chatted. Dave told me about some of the women he had dated. All of them rich and attractive. One of them lived up the street from me. At one point, he told me to feel his abs, and at the other, his biceps. Both were in great shape but I still don't get why I had to do that. He himself felt silly afterwards and told me that he was sure no one has ever told me to do that before. I just laughed it off. It was around 11 am when I needed to go to the store to grab a few things, he told me that he was going to go to Starbucks to use the internet and do some thinking then let me know if he was going to stay or not. Mind you, I have wife. Very fast wifi at that but I wasn't going to force someone to stay at my place while I was gone. Actually, I appreciate that he stepped out while I was gone. Dave was nice enough to set up my living room and dining room furniture. I felt bad that he was doing all that hard work for me for free. But I was still not going to pay him because if I did, that wold defeat the whole purpose of having him stay here to help me financially.

The Queensize Bed. 

I got back home in a few hours. While sitting in the living room about to do my nails, Dave called. He told me that he wanted to stay at my place because he loves my vibe and how I keep a clean house. He was on his way back. I asked him to bring me $10 in quarters (25c coins) if possible, for the laundry. He arrived as I was doing my nails. I felt kinda bad because the nail polish smell was so strong. I asked if that bothered him, he told me that it was too late, I should have asked him that before I painted my nails. What if it did bother him? Wow!!!!!! I won't lie, that response left a bad taste in my mouth. It was just so rude and I was trying to be nice.

Dining room area. The table can be extended to add two more seats

He sat down and told me he needed to talk to me. I thought to myself whatever he wants, the answer is no! First, after how you just talked to me? Second, I don't know you enough for us to need to talk already!
He told me that he went to the back to withdraw one month's rent and for some reason wouldn't oblige. He asked if he could pay me in full the following day. I told him to pay me some that day and the rest the following day. I asked if he tried withdrawing a smaller amount, he told me that he didn't, then he shoved an ATM receipt to my face to show me that he did have money, it's just that the ATM wouldn't give it to him. I didn't look at the receipt because it's not my thing. I don't like to know how much people have in the bank, it makes me feel weird PLUS! ATM receipts don't tell you who they belong to! That could've been anyone's receipt! Also, I don't care how much money you have in the bank or your retirement fund, I just want someone to pay for staying at my place. If you can't pay for whatever reason, bye! Simple as that!

He told me that the bank was closed, he was going to go the following and find out what the matter was and subsequently pay for the month's stay. I told him to pay for the night's stay and then do what he had to the following day. I jokingly was like, I wouldn't want you thinking I'm a dumb girl from Africa who lets strangers stay at her apartment for free. He told me he wasn't going to think that of me because he knew he was going to pay. I told him, well, I don't know that for sure. It's not personal! That's when he went on about how if you divide the monthly rate I quoted him into 30 days and deduct the night he had already stayed and payed for and the $10 change he brought me and all the work he did for me around the house blah blah blah. I was like, I love you but I don't wanna hear it! Don't come here, and make your own rules. I told you I didn't want you to hep with furniture and you insisted, so that's on you! If you don't pay for tonight, I'm sorry, you can't stay here.

If you squint/zoom in, you can see the $10 roll of quarters on the table top next to the vase. Can you? 

The more we talked about it, the more, I knew I no longer wanted him to stay at my place.
He left to withdraw payment for that night and never came back.

Furniture Shopping

While staying at my place, Dot was looking for an apartment. She was looking more for someone else's fully furnished apartment, like where the owner was temporarily out of town. She wanted to rent something like that. I thought that as a lady in her fifties, she would want something more permanent, but, for each his own! She had two apartments that she was looking at. I asked her why she didn't just find her own apartment, sign a lease and use her furniture that she told me was in storage and have a permanent base for herself. She told me that she had bad credit. I still think she could find something, somewhere if she really wanted it, no matter the shape of her credit record, but that's me. What do I know? I'm just a girl from Africa! I actually, even went on Craig's list and looked at apartments within her price range and showed her nice one bedroom apartments. She seemed excited for a split second but before I knew it, she was going to view the temp homes.

The one she really wanted, got taken. She went to view the second one and came back very happy. She told me she got it and the owner was so kind, they even lent her the car. She could use it for free as long as she needed to. I was like, this is great, man! I somehow thought that was kinda far fetched but, stranger things have happened! The night before she left, she went to work at this apartment on Sunset Strip. She came home so excited, told me that, she locked the apartment, turned around, bumped into someone, looked up and it was Collin Farrell! I was like, daaaayayyuuummmm! Where was this again? She told me she can't tell me that. I was like you didn't sign a non-disclosure with Collin, just tell me where you saw him haha. It wasn't that deep, I wasn't gonna stalk the guy or anything like that. I have his sex tape, I'm good! 

We talked till late that night and as I was about to go to bed, Dot told me that she was going to move out the following day. I wish she had given me more notice, like maybe from the time she got home? It's ok though, we had the best time together, I let that go. The following day, she asked if she could leave her stuff here until after work.  I agreed. No big deal!

It was the weekend, I was going to be out and about looking for furniture but I was going to be in the neighborhood. I asked for the key back because I needed to be able to have someone else move in if I needed to. Plus, her term was up, she would have to work with my schedule if she needed me to do her a favor. I know, I'm strict. I think I'm fair too though. I found a house online that had a yard sale. I called the lady and asked if she had a bed. I needed that more than anything else. She had it! Perfect! I asked her not to sell it to anyone until I get there. I was going to be the first one there, she lived two blocks from me. Day before that I almost bought another bed in my neighborhood but it was sketchy. It had no legs and was kinda old. When I told Dot about it, she looked like she thought I was in a round about way, asking her to help me carry it but I wasn't. I was telling her about my day. It was good to see that she wasn't willing to help me with stuff like that even after everything I did for her. Plus, it was a gigantic bed, she had told me that if  I found a bed, she was ok sharing with me. I wasn't but I thought if you want to share my bed for the same amount you're paying for sleeping on the floor, why wouldn't you want to help me carry it?

Anyway, I ended up not buying that bed. I went to the yard sale and bought just about everything they had, they were morning out, I was moving in, perfect! I got great deals too, I was the first one at their home and they hadn't even put the stuff out, we just carried stuff from their place to my car. I drove two blocks with a bed set on top of my Land Rover and a sht load of stuff inside. Thank goodness, it was just two blocks! I arrived at my house, thankfully, I'm on the ground level, and offloaded the bed all by myself. I carried the entire Queen bed and mattress to the apartment. It wouldn't fit into the hallway and my bedroom. I took a screw driver out and unhinged the doors and stuck it in there! I set the whole thing up in no time and was so proud I did it! My wish was to have a King Size bed, that's what I have in my list of things for my new apartment. Remember that list? I took the Queen for temp purposes but still had my eye on a King Size. My bedroom looked cute! 

The bed was clean and comfortable, no stains, no bed bugs, thank goodness! I was so happy! I still had my ad up for someone to come stay here for another few days to a week or two, max. I got a text from Dot telling me to drop whatever I was doing, someone is moving out and they had a king Size bed. I thought to myself, damn it man! I just just bought a Queen size bed. But I've always wanted a king size. She knew this, because I told her. She told me they had furniture for the entire house. This was going to be a one stop shop for my entire home. It was perfect but I was tired from moving the bed and other things I bought from the first yard sale! 

I got an email from a very handsome man wanting to come have a look at my place. He asked if he could call me. I was still debating whether I should go to Hollywood Hills to check out the furniture Dot was talking about or just go to sleep. There were no pictures, apparently the guy had posted an ad up on Craig's list but to find that was going to be another mission. I sucked it up and told myself, there will have to be something I will like. I gave the handsome guy my number. He called immediately. We talked, like old friends, he was another cool one. I told him I was on my way out. He rushed here and got here before I left. He also help hinge the door back for me. That dude was so handsome yall! He was so good looking that when I opened the door, the first thing I said was, 'wow, you're so handsome!' I had to get that out of the way! Then I told him to take of his shoes because I needed to know how big it is! Haha, just kidding. My home is a shoes off home. 

We chatted a bit. He told me that he was going to check out another place, on the other side of town and then let me know what he decided. I was like, ok, sure. I was renting out space on my living room floor. The other place he was going to check out was a fully furnished bedroom with it's own bathroom in a two bedroom apartment with a guy who is never home. That was a much better deal for him. I didn't expect to hear back from him. I went to Hollywood Hills and liked everything I saw there, I took the first load of stuff home by myself in my truck and then called a delivery guy and asked him to deliver the rest for me. 

Everything went so smoothly, we loaded the truck, the seller even helped load the stuff. I gave the guy my address, we followed each other for a split second, then he disappeared. That's when I realised that he had my furniture and I had no way of getting hold of him other than a phone number!