Thursday, August 20, 2015

Affirmations

While on that life changing trip I was on, I started jotting down affirmations. I have used them before, especially in Johannesburg when I was kind of nervous when I moved there. I didn't know what could or would happen to me in such a crazy city, what with the crime rate over there and everything. I would say beautiful things to myself about the city and everything. They worked. I was pretty safe the entire time I was in Johannesburg, it may have had something to do with the affirmations, or not, who knows? 

In Vegas, I read more about affirmations, I started writing affirmations 15 times every day. I read somewhere that whether you believe what you are writing, after that many times, it would get engraved into your brain and amazing things would start happening in your life. I was excited! Amazing things were about to happen in my life! I needed the break! I made up affirmations about things that covered up the main aspects of my life that I felt were lacking and focused on those. I wanted to change my thinking about those things. 

I was excited to be working on a new, positive project. I was looking forward to seeing the outcome. Some of them were pretty long term, some mid and some short term. Before I knew it, it had been a number of days and I hadn't heard back from Jim. I thought to send him and email, nothing! I just pushed that to the back of my mind. I was spring cleaning my mind. I didn't want to have some stagnant thoughts about things I felt I had no control over, blocking the positive flow of energy in my life. I decided to delete all his emails and stuff. I would see if and when I heard back from him. My sister always warns me against doing that. My thing is, if I never hear back from them, good riddance, if I do, then I will ask them to send me more of their pictures. Long story short, time flew and before I knew it, Jim was supposed to have been back to work. I was waiting in a long as line, one morning, my thoughts jumped to Jim. I thought, you know what? Let me email him one last time, then I will totally be done. Stalk much?

He emailed me back immediately! WTF! He even asked for my number. I gave it to him. We texted back and forth all day, until I had to go to work. Then that night, he called me. We talked for about an hour. He sounded much better than he looked. He didn't look bad, he just had one of those country beard styles. He called me a few more times after that, we texted for a while from the time he woke up, he would text me, every other day, until he went to sleep. He would even text me and tell me that he was on the phone with so and so, and we would still text while he was on the phone. It was fun. Not that he was paying half his attention to me instead of the person on the phone but to have someone to chat with so constantly, who wasn't crazy.

Days became weeks, The calls disappeared. So did the texts, he would text back immediately, but I noticed that he wasn't initiating anything. I had to find something else to occupy myself, that was just not going the route I had hoped it would. One morning, while at work, by then, we had added each other on Facebook. I, as a rule, don't do that, add guys I am talking to or am dating on social media but I was curious to learn more about his life and his profile was private. I couldn't stalk him haha. He would text me commenting on stuff I posted on Facebook. I thought that was kinda weird, we are Facebook friends, why not comment on the posts themselves? I digress. So, while I was at work one morning, I went onto Facebook and one of the top posts on my timeline was of Jim, he was dressed to the nines, posing with a girl who was just as dressed up. The caption to the picture was: My future wife. I blocked him sooner than you can say wife! I didn't even want to want to have the energy to think about it, wonder, assume, confront him, whatever. I didn't know the guy, we had never met, he owed me nothing. I mean, he owed me more than nothing but what are you gonna do? It happens!

I was kind of taken aback by the whole thing but I tell you in about 20  minutes, I was so over the whole thing! I had my tablet with me where I was reading a book. I continuing reading the book on my way home. I took advantage of my commutes and would always read on the bus. I read more and more, learn more and more about myself, my life, why things happen the way they do, at least to me. I was open minded about the stuff I was reading and decided to try them out. Some of the books, have exercises. I took the exercises and applied them in my life. I was feeling better and hopeful about my life and my future. 

I started writing a list of things I was grateful for everyday. I bought a new notepad just for that. I did that religiously and still continue to do so. It's been almost a year now. Wow! Time flies! I would find one thing to be grateful for at the end of the day, the best thing that happened that day, and be thankful for that, then write my list the following day. I still do. I highly recommend you do that, if you don't already do it. It makes you focus on the positives of your life and or your day as you are constantly looking for the good that happened in your day. What better way to live than to be obsessed with positives in your life?

As time went by, I kept reading more and more books, I read, on average two to three books a month. It was a huge improvement for someone who wouldn't even read Cosmopolitan  magazine that she subscribed to. I still have them sealed here at home as we speak! Since The Oprah Show days, I had always wanted to keep a vision board. I decided to follow through on that and make one. That actually forced me to read some of my Cosmo's because I didn't want to just cut off pictures without having read the magazine. I already had glue, I used what I had around the house to stick my pictures. I had my vision board up in no time. I had been cutting off pictures over the years anyways. I used all those pictures and some new ones. When I was done, I was so excited! I couldn't believe that I finally did it! I finally made my own vision board! After all those years! Whoda thunk it? It actually looked like a real vision board, like the ones people have up on tv and online!

I was getting more and more excited about what's to come in my life,about having my wildest dreams fulfilled...........