Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Big Foot

More on senior citizen!

I got into my place, took off my clothes and breathed a sigh of relief that I was back in the comfort of my own home. I called Senior one more time. He picked up. He was completely out of breath! I'm like! You're out of breath! He told me he had just arrived home. He went to the grocery store after my no show at the casino on his bike. I was like, you ride a bike? He told me that he was renting a house from someone who lives in California, they let him use the entire house but the main bedroom which they use when they are in Vegas, they also let him use their bike. For a split second, I thought he was cool people, until I found out, he was referring to a bicycle. I thought to myself, Dang, Brook, you got it made this time! An almost 60 year old dude whose only means of transportation is a bicycle. Perfect!

I apologised that I was late and explained that had happened. He told me that he passed the second bus that I took to the casino and saw that there were only a few people in there. He thought to himself that there was no way  I would be in there,  I definitely wasn't coming! I was like, how do you get to the conclusion that I can't be one of the few people on the bus? I was! I was on that bus! I saw someone on a bike at the light, was that you? 'Yes, it was!' He was flabbergasted that I was on that bus. I don't know why, I told him I was taking the bu, it's not like I had told him I was going to take charter a private jet and all of a sudden I pulled up in a bus! I apologised, he apologised and asked if I wanted to meet another day. I told him that the day was still young, we could still meet that day. He offered to come to my neck of the woods. We agreed on The Stratosphere which was a 5 minute walk from my place. Fair!

He called me as he was leaving his house and told me he would be there in an hours, by then I knew the drill, it was the same route I had taken that morning. I put on the very same outfit I had on that morning and made my way to part II of our first date. We arrived at the same time! Good, no walking around trying to find each other because one of us does not have a cellphone in 2014. He looked so much better in person! He was a good looking guy with nice teeth, nice shape but they could've used a little brushing. You know when it looks like someone hasn't brushed their teeth in a couple of days? #awkward Those are the people that will try to kiss you too! It's like, they are trying to spread the love. Yuck! Love of plague!

We found a seat, he reiterated to me that he was low on cash, then asked me what I wanted to drink. I just had a glass of water and diet soda. We sat there and talked a little bit. He laughed a lot, like when he laughs, he laughs out loud. I guess he was happy. He also thought I was funny, which was nice, so I guess I might have contributed to why he laughed so much. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he told me I have pretty hands. He also told me my hands are small, they're not small. I have hands that a proportional to rest of me in size. He put my hands against his gigantic hands. He's 6'2" (189cm) and has the biggest hands. From there, it went down, fast! Before I knew it, he was telling me he has a big penis. I mean, not in so many words, but he asked what size shoe I was, he liked my shoes, I told him, I would tell him my shoe size when he is on the way to the store to buy my shoes. Basically, it's on a need to know basis. that's when he told me to look at his feet. He told me that he's a size 13 or 14. Can't remember, don't care! I've seen men who have big  "feet" that don't work like they're supposed to, so please!

We moved from the casino side to a cute cafe where the waiters sing songs as they serve people. It was a different experience for me. The first time I thought, oh Vegas! How I love there! I thought the waiter was probably high and decided to belt out in song, but then, everyone joined in. That's when I knew they meant business. Senior told me he had enough money for me to order at least an appetiser (starter). As I was looking at the menu, he suggest we have one entree (main course) to share. I didn't really have much of a choice. He had made up his mind. He ordered something that had a little bit of everything, which was a good choice. While still waiting, they brought us complimentary tortilla chips with dip. He double dipped from the first chip, I tell ya, I was gagging! Main course arrived, He was all over that thing, I was just like, yuck! The man was hungry!

As we were eating, he told me that the bus dropped him off right by the Chapel where he got married to his firstwife. He told me that he saw that as a good sign. He was like, if I were down, we could go there there and then and get hitched. I laughed and thanked him for such a great offer but I didn't think getting married where he got married to another woman was a good idea. He had been married three times and divorced three times. The third wife was the most amazing person he ever met, she stayed with him even though he was diagnosed of cancer just after they met and took care of him until he beat it! He asked me if I knew what testicular cancer was. I thought to myself, great, from penis sizes to testicles, what else are we gonna talk about tonight? I told him  I knew what testicles are. I'm African, not dumb!  He told me that that's the kind of cancer he had. He was fully recovered though but he hoped that I didn't mind that he only had one testicle. Gggaaagggg!

Most awkward conversation on a date ever!  And I've been on some interesting dates! After all that, I told him it was past my bedtime. He walked me halfway home. He tried to walk me all the way but I told him I lived really close and I felt safe walking home. He told me he was a gentleman and therefore insisted on walking me, that's when I let him walk me halfway. When I told him I was close enough, he asked me where my house was. I thought, dang, this dude is nosy! I bade him good night and as I was walking away, he grabbed me, gave me a hug. Gurl, I knew that kiss was coming, so, I kept my face facing all the way there as much as possible. He asked me if I didn't like him. I told him it was really late and I really needed to get going.

He had asked to see me the following weekend. He asked me before the first date. He wanted to go to the park for a picnic, I guess that all was part of the low on cash budget theme.He was going to make us sandwiches. He told me that I could always hang out with him at his place, he had a big TV that came with the house that came with the bicycle. He also did tell me that because of everything he had been through, his uhm 'big foot' doesn't work as well as it should. His ex wife was understanding for a while but she was young and told him that she had to go and find her orgasms happiness out there, so she did! He thought he'd warn me before hand, just in case I also want orgasms the same kind of happiness that she wants. I thought to myself, this dude really has nothing to offer, zero, nada!

He called me the following day or so, I sadly couldn't justify picking up his calls. He sent a few emails, again, I couldn't find reason enough to return his emails.


  1. Trauma to your young mind. Hehehehe. The guy wants his bride to be to know before hand what she is getting herself into.

    1. He's a freak, that's for sure. If that's all hw has to offer a woman, count me out