Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Life Support

Calvin offered to haul my furniture with his truck. Thanks Boo! This is the first time in my entire life I have ever had help moving, and you know I'm always moving some place! Not only that, but to have my man help me was such a cherry on top! Calvin was only going to be available to move me at a weekend. That meant, I only had one of two weekends to do so! I must say, it was also nice to move out knowing where I was moving to because, if you've been following my story, I hardly ever know where I was going to live next.
We agreed that Calvin would move me the last weekend of March. I was trying to make sure that I had everything ready to go by then as well. I didn't want to have to make one last load to my place after all the furniture had moved. I was tired! It had been a crazy ride! If I was just moving my stuff and chilling with my boo at the weekends, that would have been different. But I didn't want to be the reason people are tripping on suitcases in the middle of the night, so I had to make sure I unpacked when I got to Calv's.

His friend,  who had been staying at Calv's for a bit, moved out a month before I moved in, so I had the place nice and clear to do with it as I wished. At this point, I already had my own set of keys to Calvin's. Yay me!

Thursday, March 17th

I was asleep on the couch in the living room. I guess I passed out there after getting a massage from the massage chair. My phone rang. It was Calvin. They had taken his dad, Jim  to the hospital the night before because he had fallen. That bothered me so much, I couldn't believe that Jim's condition was getting this bad. It had come out of nowhere! Calvin had called to tell me that he was at the hospital to check on his dad. This was around 04:30, it was early! I felt so bad for Cally! I wished I were there with him. And with Jim! Not long thereafter, Calvin called again to tell me that they told him that his dad had just slipped into a come. He was in no condition to be seen. The Phuck! That made the whole situation even worse! Just imagine! I didn't know what to do with myself! I was so worried about Calvin. He had to drive to work that early and have a normal day when something so major was happening in his life!

Calvin's boss is cool peeps, he let Calv go home early that day. Thank goodness. His dad was still unconscious, but they let them see them. Calvin kept me posted. I was hoping that by the time I got there the following day, Friday, that things would be looking up. I was moving. In with my boyfriend. This was a big deal! A huge step in our lives. We both love Jim, the last thing we need is a dark cloud like this. My gosh!

Friday, March 18th

We're all saying a never ending prayer for Jim. Two weekends before I move in with Calvin. I'm at the mall, just parked my car to go shopping with a gift card I got somewhere. You know me, I be winning left, right and centre. My phone rings just as I get out of the car at the parking lot. It's Calvin. He sounded the worst I've ever heard him. He told me that they had just told them that Jim's condition wasn't going to get better. The family had to make a decision whether to take Jim off life support. WHAT THE F*CK? Now my Jim! I got back in the car. That was not the time to go shopping for shoes and sh*t. I had to see Jim before they turn off the machines. I couldn't believe that we were dealing with that at that point in our relationship. It was too deep! For anyone!

I was meaning to head to Calvin's after the mall anyways, so I just went back to my place, loaded the bags that were ready to be moved and got on the 10 Freeway. Calvin texted me the hospital address. Since I had been in The US, this was going to be my first time visiting someone in the hospital. Thank goodness!

The way to the hospital passed by Calvin's place, so I decided to offload the truck first I bumped into Kev's brother. He was sad. He told me he couldn't stay at the hospital and watch his dad be in a coma. He was not only sad, he was angry... at his father for giving up. He wanted his father to fight the fight and win gosh damnit! He thanked me for being there for his brother. He told me that Calvin wasn't taking the news well at all. That Calvin, for the first time, since they were kids hugged him. It was so, so sad! So sad! I couldn't wait to be with Calvin and to see Jim, no matter the condition. The last time, I saw Jim, he had made us stuffed mushrooms.

Jim spent a lot of time in the desert. Whenever I saw his truck outside, I knew he was home and delicious home cooked food was coming our way. Wouldn't you like to be known and remembered for that? When I pulled up this time, to drop my stuff off, I saw his truck and had a lump in my throat. Things weren't the same anymore. Jim wasn't coming home. It was hard. It still is! I asked Calvin if he needed anything from the house or should I buy them food. They had been in the hospital all day. I brought a few snacks from the house. Calvin told me he would take me to a restaurant down the street from the hospital for lunch. This is all around noon.

I spend to the hospital, found parking right next to Calvin's car. What are the chances? This is a big hospital! He came down to the ground floor to meet me. Ugh! The way he looked! I am dying to forget it! We hugged and went upstairs to Jim's room. This was going to be my first time meeting Calvin's mom. What a way to meet someone!

I wasn't ready for what I saw. Jim was lying in bed, all tubed up. His bed was right by the entrance of his ward. What the heck! You see his face as you walk in! It's facing door. I wasn't prepared for that! I guess that was so that the nurses could see him from the Nurse's station that was across from his room? I didn't know. I didn't like it.

Calvin's mom was standing by the entrance of the ward. I asked if I could give her a hug. This was not the time for awkward moments! We had all gathered there because of our beloved Jim. Maggie, Calvin's mom, (we'll call her that :)) was busy apologizing about not having had the chance to meet me. I was like, it's OK, we've met now. She told me she saw me one day walking out of my car in the rain, she said, 'Hi', but maybe I didn't see her. OMG! Can we talk about Jim? Don't get me wrong but we had as much time as I've known Jim to talk about all this. I was there for Jim, that was not a meeting for someone who had been 'busy' to meet me for months to clear her conscience. Let's go! Jim! What's going on? What did the Doctor say? What's the way forward? Jim! I wanna talk about Jim! I would rather talk to him and see his infectious smile but it is what it is.

The family was making phone calls, sending emails and texts, letting the extended family know what had happened. Maggie was planning a funeral. Isn't that sad? One minute, you're celebrating your husband's birthday, the next, you're planning his funeral? I felt robbed. I was just getting to know this amazing human being who has the same quirks as my beloved boyfriend, and now this? Not fair!

Not long after I arrived, Calvin took me to an old Chinese restaurant to eat. It would have been romantic, had it not be under those circumstances. We had rice something something for appetizer, rice for main course. When Calvin asked if I wanted desert, I asked what it would be, the waitress was like, it's dumplings made out of rice. I was like, no thanks. I was riced out!

On our way back, road rage situation. Calvin stuck his entire body out of his car to knock on the window of the car next to ours that almost drove into his. I'm like, calm down babe! Let it go! Don't do that again! Especially when I'm in the car! Plus, you're knocking on the side with the passenger. That's not who's driving. Come one now! Really!  I wasn't impressed.

Back at the hospital, Calvin texted some of his close friends. He has a lot of friends! They all consider each other's parents their own because they all grew up together. Plus, Calvin's house is the headquarters, so everyone considers his parents, more so Jim as their dad. Somethings some of Calvin's friends go shooting in the desert with Jim. Friends dropped whatever they were doing to come see Jim. That turning off of life support things was scary because you wanna see him quickly before that has to be done.

Friends came by, one at a time, to pay their last respects. THAT got me! The lump in my throat was melting and all the fluids were coming out my eyes. It was rough! It was rough as hell! To see them talking to Jim while Jim was just laying there with machines and tubes and needles all over hims. It was tough, man! You could tell when it was time for them to go but they didn't want to leave him because they knew they would never see him again. It was tough!