Monday, November 28, 2016

The Funeral

From one Final Good-bye to another! It's April fool's day and the irony of it all is that I'm sure we all wished it were a joke and it wasn't. It was Jim's funeral. I had hardly unpacked as you know that he passed away while I was moving in with Calvin. April's my birth month. Thankfully, the funeral wasn't on my birthday! Can you imagine? I had to find some decent clothes to wear as most of my clothes were still in suitcases.
Calvin looks great in suits, so this was a great opportunity for him to look amazing again. At least, for me to see him look that good. That was the last thing on anyone's mind, of course. Calvin's mom, Maggie was in charge of everything. She is so organized! She literally had a notepad the entire time where she wrote everything down from the moment Jim got sick. Pretty impressive. If we all could be that calm and organized in the midst of such storms in our lives. People came in their cars and carpooled to the church. I drove and gave some people a ride as well. There was a decent amount of people. All of Calvin's friends were coincidentally in black suits and white shirts. They all looked so beautiful. There were lots of photos taken of the funeral. I have yet to see any. I also don't really want to be that person who's like, hey! Do you have any of the funeral pics? Can I see 'em? 

The service was beautiful, Jim's immediate family all had something to say. It was all sad as phuck! Maggie read an amazing poem that I loved so much. I asked here if she wrote it. She hadn't but she made me a copy. I will show it to you if I can remember where I put it.

                     [ugh! I gotta step out! I'll update in an hour!] hrs later, here I am! Whew!


On my way to the funeral

After church, I was told to drive behind the hearse. Calvin told me that his mom said she wanted me to. Not sure why, but ok. Anything I can do to help. Things were different here in that there isn't that convoy I'm used to where all the cars drive slowly bumper to bumper with their hazards on. I had my hazards on but had to catch up with the hearse guy. I had never driven that fast in a funeral!

When we got to the cemetery, the usual, then after the service there, they told Calvin (first born), to release the doves. There were 40 doves in a cage symbolising the number of years Maggie and Jim were married for. That was beautiful and touching. The first done, that Calvin released, didn't go far, it came right back; which made for some necessary comic relief. The rest came out and they all flew in a flock towards the mountains. It was quite a sight. So beautiful and so sad. Just as the doves disappeared into the horizon, Calvin put on Jim's favorite song. They released the coffin. Most painfullest sight to see! It just pulled at your heart's strings! The song was going softly, so was the coffin. Calvin and all his friends. You know he has a ton of friends, were circling the coffin, drinking beer and spilling some onto the grave. Rock and roll and beer, what could be better than that? 

Photo session, then time to eat! Maggie had booked a venue and catering company that caters for the likes of Michelle Obama when she's in LA. I was like, sign me up! I don't recall seeing Maggie eat. Which makes me sad. I offered for her to cut in front of me in line to get food but she politely declined. She politely declines everything. Which is very interesting for someone so generous. The food was good but the cheese! My goodness, me! They had only the best kinds. And lots of them! 

Calvin's grandma/godmother was there. I love her. She's elderly and smart and just adorable. We shared  a table with she, her son and his shady wife who kept insisting that this is Calvin's godmother not grandmother, whenever Calvin referred to her as grandma. Really lady? We're at a funeral! Come on!

When we were done, Calvin was going to have, what we call after tears back in South Africa; an after party at his house. 

Calvin's friend's and his dad's Harley's