Wednesday, November 30, 2016


For lent, Calvin gave up all things 'fun', including drinking. He kept telling me, before lent, that he didn't know how he was going to cope without his vices because people are full of sh*t out there. As someone who doesn't take/do any of the things he was about to give up, I would encourage him and tell him he would make it. It was only going to be for forty days, after all; not his entire life. He was really psyching himself up. I had never seen that side of him before. I began to wonder how much he was dependent on this 'stuff' on his day to day life. Of course, I didn't want to ask, but I had to wonder! Lent came and, on day one, I was at my place. I received a call from Calvin telling me that he was struggling.
Everyone was pissing him off and he was looking his cool. I know Calv to be an easy going guy, who loves his family and his friends. I was seeing a different side of his. At the same time, this was the first day of lent. It was the first time experiencing him without any of his feel good stuff, so to speak. Quite honestly, I was surprised when he told me he always gives something up for lent. Calv goes to church once or twice but he's not a devout Catholic. At least, that's the impression I was under. I told him that I would support him in whatever he was going to give up but I wasn't going to tell him whether or not I was going to give up anything and if so, what.

Back to the first day of lent, on the phone, he was telling me that a guy cut in front of him and he (C) got mad, as he was talking to me, he was chasing after that guy. He wanted to stop him and confront the guy. Errrr, WHAT? Before I could even respond, a verbal altercation ensued. It was Calvin and a dude. It was F*ck this and f*ck that. I sat there and listened. The call wasn't disconnected, so I heard the entire thing. I tried to yell out Calvin! Calvin! Babe! Babe! Boo! Bubba! Nothing! I could hear him getting angrier and angrier. I wasn't about to hear the last words of someone before they got killed. I didn't want to be a witness, I'm too busy to be going for court hearings! This wasn't that deep! People get overtaken all the time in the world, let it go!

Towards the end, the other guy pleaded with Calv. He probably could tell that the dude was nuts and has things to live for, so he did what he had to to save his life! I'm thinking to myself. This is your way or honoring Lent? Do you even know what lent symbolises to Catholics? Come on now!

After the call, Calvin tried to call me back. The call was still continuing, I could hear him pushing the buttons. I'm like, hello? By the way, after the guy apologized, Calvin accepted the apology and told the guy, 'have a good one!' I guess that's what he wanted. For the guy to apologize. What do I know!

Calvin told me that it was going to be a rough 40 days blah blah blah. I'm like, can we talk about what just happened? That was crazy! Someone could have gotten killed there! Also, I think Jesus would have been OK with you just being a decent person who doesn't treat strangers like that but also doesn't give up anything for lent; I told him. There's no need to put the world through this! He make a joke about how big the guy is. To think that the guy was a muscle head and yet was pleaded with the likes of Calv; according to Calv. I told him that it was no laughing matter. I am not about that life. You won't score any points from me by being an ass. You're better than that! He then told me that, at least, the ended off on a good note. I was like, you told the guy to have a good one! That's not a high note for him! You don't know what the guy is going through in his life! You don't know where he was rushing to! You don't just stop someone off his tracks like that, and intimidate them just because you're Catholic and it's lent! It doesn't work that way, my friend!

Calvin had told me that he always gives up something for lent. I don't know what was so difficult this year. Granted, I didn't know him the previous lents, so I don't know how he acted then but what I was seeing was not a good look at all!

I moved in during lent. His dad passed away during lent. Here are some big, life impacting events all happening during the same period.

My first weekend and Calvin's during Lent. He seemed fine to me. He looked great! His skin was glowing and the white of his eyes was pure white. He looked really good. When I complimented him, he told me about the down side of giving up his vices. I was like, ok, you're welcome! Calvin's brother told me that Calvin was going through withdrawals. I hadn't thought about that, but that was  good point! During that weekend, the brother and Calv had the biggest fight I had ever seen them in! Even though they don't live together, they see each other everyday. Brother works for Calvin. The argument was so bad, I thought they were going to beat each other up! Calvin is soft spoken. I never knew his voice could get that loud! I tried calling him back to the house. They were arguing in the front yard.Which is even worse. No offence to any parents out there but they were definitely not raised by my mom! He wouldn't even listen to me, he was in such a zone about telling his brother exactly what he thought of him. My gosh! I was thinking to myself, what's the point of this whole lent thing if you're going to be the worst person you possibly can?

After the fight, Calv came back in and apologised to me. I told him there's no need for that. I don't need apologies, I need peace in my surroundings. I need someone who is stable minded. Save your apologies, and be the Calvin I fell in love with. Who is this monster right now? He tried to make excuses, but I'm too smart for those! He has a calendar where he would mark off every lent day. I was counting those days right there with him! I wanted my man back!

After two weeks, he became better. Calmer. I guess there was truth to what his brother said about withdrawals. He was excited about life. He told me he was getting so much more done, and was making more money from his side business. I was excited to hear it. We still had 4 more weeks to go!

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