Thursday, January 30, 2014

Did This Guy Just Try to Kiss Me?


I continued to feel like an outsider at our place. I tried looking for something else online. I bumped into Man’s ‘girl’ a few times on the boulevard. Once, she said, ‘sh*t!’ when she turned around and I was right there haha. I said hi, she said sh*t! Oh well.

I posted my own ad online after responding to numerous ads looking for a place and having people flake out on me. One morning, I took the bus to see a Game show taping, Mind of a Man, hosted by the cute actor and comedienne, DeRay Davis; I got a response from a guy who we’ll call Speed. I had posted that I was looking for a private room to rent. He had a huge room for me with a couch. I was excited, it was what I was looking for and because I didn’t have furniture, I could just use his couch. I emailed back asking for pictures. He told me that he wasn’t able to attach them and asked for my phone number. I wasn’t that psyched about sending a random man from Craig’s list my number. He assured me (not that that carried any weight with me) that he was a responsible, decent man who wouldn’t abuse my number. I sent it to him because I was desperate for a way out not because I trusted that he wasn’t going to abuse my number. He sent me a slide of pictures of the apartment and one of himself with the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen. I showed that to my new friend. A girl I was sitting next to on the bus. She was going to the same show I was and had been there before. She also happened to have a nice wig and told me where I could get them for a nice price. From then on, we became bosom buddies. When she saw Speed’s picture, she was like, oh heck no! Ignore! Do not move in with this man, he looks creepy as hell! I was like, I bet you this guy is a vegetarian. With all due respect to vegetarians, I’m somewhat of a vegetarian myself, one who loves meat but hardly ever eats it, I’m just saying though; dude looked like a yogi and a vegetarian. That’s not what’s creepy looking about him. It’s his smile that is! He has a smile of a 3 year old girl. Like Fck the what?!?!?!?

I responded on account of don’t judge the book by its cover. I didn’t sent him my picture in return though. We arranged for me to go view the following morning. He works as a tour guide. I rushed over to his the following morning. He met me at the gate. He looked much much older in person, maybe 86? He took me upstairs to the apartment, I went in there and saw one giant room, much bigger than where I was living. I asked to see the bedroom, he was like ‘this is it! I told you it was one big room that we would share’ #BubbleBurst. It was a huge room with a bed, a huge, leather couch, bathroom, two closets, kitchen and dining space. It was quite spacious. I told him I would have to think about it. We sat on the couch and talked for a short while then I had to leave for my date with Lewis. Speed had lived in Utah too so we had something in common. I thanked him for his time and as I was about to leave, he gave me a hug. I didn’t think we were that well acquainted for us to hug but ok, some people are huggers, I guess.

He walked me to the gate, then gave me another hug, talked some more then gave me yet another hug and went for a kiss in the mouth, I ducked, and he got me in the cheek. Bye! I could swear he said by honey, but I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong! I walked away puzzled, talking to myself, ‘did this man just try to kiss me?’ DID THIS MAN JUST TRY TO KISS ME? I couldn’t believe it. Again, I hope I was wrong cos that came out of the blue. We weren’t even talking about romantic stuff or anything. At least as far as I’m concerned. #OnlyInHollywood

I took the bus back to mine, Lewis texted and told me that he was outside already, CRAP! I had a small window to freshen up and get ready. As I was walking towards my place, I looked at the cars parked on the side of the road and wondered which one Lewis was in. There were all kinds of cars in front of the apartment, I never realised the variety of cars out there until that day haha. There was nobody in any of the cars I looked at though. I saw a man with a hat standing in front of the house next to our complex, I wondered if it was Lewis. As I drew closer, I was like, whew, thank goodness, it’s not him! The man had a cap with three sides, wait, no, four! It was kinda like a cap/floppy hat, dark green, kinda like a farmer’s hat, he had a fanny pack on (moon bag) and safety boots. I promise I don’t go around judging random people’s outfits, I’m just giving you a picture of the guy I was grateful wasn’t my date that morning. As I was about to enter the gate at our complex, the man turned around and said hi IT WAS MY DATE, LEWIS! Christ! I was like, hey! How are you? I couldn’t believe my eyes. He is definitely short, probably my height, shower than he said he was. Trust a man to lie about his height. Men always have to add inches, be it height or length. I rest my case.

I quickly went in, freshened up and went back to him. He took me to his uhm car? Huge 1970’s truck, you know those old steel trucks from way back when? I thought he was kidding me when he took me to that particular truck of all the cars that were parked out there. He opened the door for me and asked me to open for him from inside because the thing doesn’t work on his side. Of course it doesn’t! SMDH. Really Jen? You hooked me up with THIS guy?

He asked if I was hungry, I told  him yeah, he took me to his favourite restaurant in Burbank or Studio City, can’t remember. Earth something. All organic and healthy stuff. The food was delish. He told me to order whatever I wanted. Which was nice but was it necessary? I don’t know. Before the restaurant, he went to the bank, withdrew a ton of money and held it in a clear plastic bag, then he sorted it out and put it in his fanny pack. He reminded me of the minibus (taxi) drivers from South Africa. The subject of me being too old and too fat for me to be acting came up again. Dude talks loud! I wasn’t gonna tell him to tone it down. That’s rude. I let him be. After about an hour of screaming, he said, ‘I think I was talking too loud, that lady just signalled for me to tone it down’. LMFAO, Thank you, lady!

During the date, I got a text from Speed. It went something along the lines of, ‘Hey brooke (I can’t stand it when people spell names with small caps.) as far as I’m concerned, you are it! Call me after your date. I would like to play you some music, maybe we can talk some more about your travels.’ Speed is in a band. He’s a bass player. I waited until after the date to get back to him.
He paid for the meal and asked the waiter not to keep the change, he would tip her afterwads. She brought the change, he took all the money, put it in his fanny pack and we left. No Tip! #awkward.  He took me home and promised to call when he got home. Just before he drove off, he asked me for some casting agency contact numbers, HE wants to pursue acting! Are you kidding me? If I’m too old and fat,and he’s ten years older than me, how is he the right age to get into acting?

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Lady Is a Tramp


One afternoon, Man asked if I wanted to go with him to The Boulevard (Hollywood blvd), there was going to be a red carpet event, he wanted autographs. Of course, I said yes. We headed over there, there were tons of people already waiting for the celebrities. We were there quite early too! I got to meet Man’s ex, nice Argentinian lady! The celebs showed up about three hours after our arrival. Nobody signed that evening. It was an experience for me, having never been to that kind of stuff before. I took pictures. Sorry, my internet is still too slow. When I get faster internet, I will post picture blogs. After the red carpet thingy, we went over to the hostel. We hung out with Jen. She hooked us up, remember? It was a nice night in Hollywood. We must have hung out out there for more than two hours. A random lady showed up out of nowhere and was very happy to see Man! He didn’t seem that psyched but what do I know? I’m just a girl from Africa. They excused themselves and went around the corner, came back after about five minutes. Something about that rang bells in my head. Head being the operative word. If you catch my drift.

Just before we left, Man told me that the girl is ‘coming over’. I was like, ok! On our way home,she walked so fast, he was trying to catch up with her and slow down for me, we formed a line, she, in front, he, torn in the middle and me chilling in the back. If I didn’t know better I would think she was trying to lose me but we were going to my place, b!tch where’s your place? She had a backpack on her back. We took the bus, then walked some more off the bus. Same line thing all over again. I thought to myself, I don’t like this girl, why she gotta act so weird?

We arrived at the apartment, they watched some TV, No talking, just tv. It was awkward. I felt so much like a third wheel. I felt like if I weren’t there, sh!t would be going down. . . until, I heard her giggle, and of course my eyes went straight toward them. He was touching her in her hello Kitty! I didn’t hear anybody say no, she was all giggly, I thought to myself what a sl*t! Hello, I’m right here! I can see you foos! I was getting worked up with the disrespect of it all. I texted Jen and asked if she knew that girl. She told me she’s homeless, she crashes at friend’s homes and never leaves. I told her she was there with us, she was like OMG, she’s sleeping over. WHAT?!?!?!?! She told me the girl’s whole life is in that backpack. She goes home with whomever and never leaves.
Me:        Is your friend spending the night?
Man:     IF SHE WANTS TO.
ME:        So you guys are going to have sex with me right here and you don’t care?
Man:     WE WERE GONNA WAIT UNTIL YOU WENT TO SLEEP.
Me:        Oh hell no! Asleep or not, nobody is having sex here tonight! Not with me in the same room, f*ck that! Are you kidding me? I am going to hear you guys! What happens if I wake up in the middle of all that?
Man:     WE’RE GOING TO BE QUIET!
Me:        No you won’t! You’re not going to have sex. Not here. Not tonight!
Man:     But I told you she was coming over and you didn’t have a problem with that!
Me:        Coming over and sleeping over are two different things. Why would you think a normal person would not have a problem with someone having sex in the same room as them?
Man:     -.

I stayed up, used the internet,in total disbelief of what was about to take place at the place I called home. I wanted to go hide somewhere. We hung around the hostel for more than two hours. That’s more than enough time to have sex. He couldn’t take that girl home then, boink her silly and then tell me when he was done so I could go home and sleep? Nobody is c0ckblocking anybody. All I ask is that you don’t make me watch. I’m not into that. That woman was like, uh oh, did I do something wrong. I ignored her cos why are you talking? Who’s talking to you? STFU! Go home! I would have left the moment the awkwardness began. Scratch that, I never would have tried to sleep with a man in the same room as someone else. Plus they aren’t even a couple. But that’s none of my business. They ended up leaving around 1:30am. Man came back after about an hour or two. He wasn’t talking to me the following day. I could care less. I knew there and then that it wasn’t going to work out. I had to start looking for another place to stay. As if the Cat smell and all the other grossness wasn’t enough, now we’re adding wh0res to the equation. Enough is enough. When will I ever settle down?  I asked if we were not talking, he told me he was mad at me, he didn’t understand why I over reacted the night before when he forewarned me of what was going to happen and I was ok with it. Clearly that was a huge misunderstanding because I will never be ok with being disrespected that way. I told him that it would have been different if I was out and he asked me to give him some time until further notice or something.

The following day, he messaged me and asked me to give him an hour or so. I got the message an hour late, I was still out, heck, I gave him two more hours over and above that, to air the space out. When I got home, she was there, relaxed and f*ck, he was shirtless. I had to fight not to have an image of what happened a few hours prior in my head. Out of spite, the probably did it in my bed, who knows? One can only hope for the best, right? I don ‘t want to live with someone who I have a feeling would do something like that. He is a good person though, I don’t think he would do that, but then again, I don’t know him that well, so.

She was at our place every other day for like 12-15 hours per day. I would find her there in the afternoon when I got home and she would leave the following morning around 1 or 2. Whenever she was there, a roll of my double ply toilet paper would go missing. It got to a point where I had to hide it. B*tch got expensive taste! Use your f*ck buddy’s single ply 99cents store toilet paper, boo. Leave my stuff alone WTF! When I hid my tp, Man marked his. It was the craziest most hypocritical thing. Excuse you, your hoe has been stealing my sht! No pun intended. I had no interest in his thin-stick-in-your-butt-cheap-*ss-toilet-paper anyways.

I guess the girl had officially moved in with us. They smoked weed all hours of day and night, she was loud and obnoxious, walking around the apartment barefoot. I tell ya b*tch got comfortable. She was more comfy there than I was, that’s for sure. I had nothing to say to her, my issue was with my roommate who brought in one more person and a cat to an already overcrowded studio apartment. Who does that?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

I'm Not In Your League!


Jen called the evening after Lewis and I talked. She wanted to know how it went. I talked her we talked for an hour. She was like, ‘An hour? Wow, you guys get along already! What did you talk about that long?’ Normal everyday things people who’ve never talked about talk about! She sure seemed surprised for someone who was convinced we have a lot in common. She asked when we were going to meet up. He wanted to meet up that weekend, Friday or Saturday, he was going to confirm closer to the day.

We agreed on meeting up Saturday evening. He wanted me to take the Metro (train) to meet him in his neighbourhood. I thought that was not gentlemanly so of course I told him I would rather we meet up in Hollywood. I mean what kind of man tells a girl to take the train to go to him? He told me I live close to the metro, he thought it would be easier for me to get to him than it would be for him driving to Hollywood. He then came up with another brilliant idea, he was going to take the metro and come meet me in Hollywood. What? I am not used to this kind of behaviour! Where I come from, a guy picks up the girl, takes her out on a date and drops her off, unless she insists on meeting up somewhere neutral. He is my friend’s ‘friend’, so I was ok with him picking me up. Only, he wasn’t! He told me that he doesn’t mind driving to Hollywood (really? I thought that was your problem. Traffic.), it’s just that, there’s no parking space where I live. I told him there was outside my apartment, plus he won’t have to park, I would be ready when he got there. He finally succumbed after which I told him to think about it, he could still change his mind if he felt he didn’t want to drive all the way to me. In which case, we wouldn’t meet cos I wasn’t about to dress cute, and then run to the metro, heck no!

Jen and I talked, I told her about the picking up/dropping off situation. She was so mad at me. She yelled at me for being high maintenance, she told me that I may have turned him off (cos I really care about not turning a cheap guy off). She was like, when someone sets you up, you do whatever it takes to meet up. I was like, no you don’t! When someone does you a favour, you return the favour, simple! You don’t go against your own principles to please you friend’s cheap ex-boyfriend. At least not in my books. If he doesn’t want to meet up, fine by me, great, actually! She was disappointed. I didn’t care. I asked for his picture, she told me she didn’t have it. So of course, I asked him to send me a picture, he did, He looked ok, more normal than I had expected. I sent him mine, he didn’t even have the courtesy to acknowledge receipt. He just went quiet. I didn’t hear from him for two days or so, third day, he called. I was about to switch my phone off, I was on set. No, hello, how are you, this is Lewis, or anything, just ‘so when do you wanna meet?’ I was like, who’s this? I knew who it was. I wanted him to slow down a second. I asked to call him back. I called him after the show, this was before we confirmed to meet on Saturday.

Saturday morning, he sent a text about how his sister isn’t well, he was going to spend time with her in the hospital because she is family and family comes first, all they have is each other, blah blah blah. When I told Jen that, she told me he probably is no longer interested in meeting up because of the car thing and because we exchanged pictures.  He didn’t think that was a good idea, that’s why he lied and told me that he didn’t have his picture. Why don’t I listen to her yada yada yada. Because I am old enough to make my own decisions, Jen. Relax. The world will not come to an end just because you are not in control. S-s-s-s-sl-l-l-l-l-o-o-o-ow-w-w-w-w down! She told me that the guy has been turned off, that was my doing. I subconsciously self sabotage. I push people away. I was like The f*ck’s that all about? She told me she has a background in Psychology. B*tch, get off my d*ck, WTF! This chick was getting all personal, I felt claustrophobic. Leave me alone! You don’t know me! From the looks of things, you never will, presumptuous freak!
Lewis called Saturday night, after spending time with his sister. They thought it was something serious. False alarm. We talked about diet and stuff, he told me how he is vegetarian, about how he lost some weight and still counting. He told me what the best way is to lose weight and keep it off, the problem is not the amount of calories you consume per day but blah blah blah yada yada ya. He was literally shoving his opinions down my throat, regardless of the fact that I told him I had already lost 30lb counting calories (+-15kg). I thought to myself, this guy and Jen have way more in common than I do with either of them. They like to ram their ideas down people’s throats.
He went on to ask how big I am. I told him I weigh 389lb (180kg). He was like, THAT’S HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH?  Yup! Is that a deal breaker for you, Lewis? Hahaha. He told me it doesn’t matter to him, he is looking for what’s inside than anything else. I’m thinking to myself, dude, I’ve seen what you look like, it shouldn’t matter what I look like. We were on the phone for two hours that night. We talked about people’s types. He asked me if I don’t think I am too old and fat to be pursuing acting? Isn’t it more for younger, blond haired, blue eyed, model types? I was like, I don’t think so. I think it’s for all kinds of people. If they are looking for a 62 year old black lady, they are not going to hire an 18 year old model, are they? He said they won’t but they will hire someone who has been in the industry since they were young, not someone who is starting out. He told me that every channel he tunes into has younger, skinny, white model type actresses. I told him I don’t know which channels he watches but I’ve seen all kinds of actors on tv. I’ve been on tv myself. I kind of have an idea how it works. He was like, ‘who doesn’t like blondes? Hell, given a chance I would be with a blonde model. I love blondes, but I am not their type! I once messaged this blonde girl online. She messaged me back, [sorry, I’m out of your league!] AND SHE WAS RIGHT!’ I was sitting there listening to this guy yapping on the phone about how he basically is not attracted to me and my friend for that matter. And he still wanted us to meet. I mean! He told me that he left the online blonde alone because she was right. She is out of his league. He will never date a blonde. I told him he can be with whomever he wants. If he wants a younger blonde, he should be ‘generous’ and he can be with whomever he wants. He told me he will never do that. He wants someone who will love him for him. I thought, oh well, good luck to you! I am helping you fulfil your wishes. You think an 18 year old model is going to love you for you? I am not saying that will never happen, but what are the chances? And where would he meet this girl? Driving the bus? Never mind, I just remembered that was Jen’s bad, he isn’t a bus driver haha.
He was to call me again and set a date.

I talked to Jen, updated her. She wasn’t very impressed. First she was shocked that we were on the phone that long. She was like, I hardly talked to that guy for five minutes collectively in the time that I have known him! What do you guys talk about? I told her any and everything including types. She said, ‘I told you not to exchange pictures!’ She Seemed shocked at some of the stuff he said but turned around and defended him saying that’s the down side of talking over the phone especially with someone you have never met. She told me that he is actually a very nice guy, if we had talked about that stuff in person, I would have understood that he was just sharing his insecurities with me from his body language yada yada ya #RollingEyes. Jen said commented on Lewis and I talking on the phone for two hours when we could have just met up in person and had more of a normal conversation in person within those two hours. She had a point there, but oh well, it’s still different. He could have got stuck in traffic and and and


Saturday, January 18, 2014

At The Movies

I am glad Man got furniture the day I moved before I had to camp on the floor. Before I moved in, He was sleeping on the red carpet. Literally! From some red carpet event. He told me he has to sleep on the floor for health reasons. When  he got the sofas, he slept on the sofa and didn’t have any complaints. Go figure! He also moved his cat in with us, so that was fun! Cat fur all over the place, my nice clothes, everything! The smell of its crap in the apartment! The windows were always close cos it was cold. Man had the heater on 24/7 even when it was warm outside, well, he only went out to smoke, he never really left the house! The smell of poo, dirty cats, humans who haven’t showered in days, stuffiness from fart, heat from the heater, it was unbearable to me. I made sure I left everyday whether or not I had somewhere to go.

My friend Jen, called one day and told me that she had an extra ticket for a movie. I took her up on the offer (she did offer J). I got ready  and left early the following day, called her when I was on the bus to confirm. She told me she was at work and wouldn’t be able to go to the movie. Well, thanks for telling me that now that I’m calling you at 11 instead of when you checked in at work at 8am! She told me she thought she would let me go ahead and enjoy the movie by myself anyway. I’m like, in future, let me make my own decisions. I’m pretty capable of that. I was no longer that psyched about going to the movies, but I went along, what else was there to do?

She gave me both tickets and told me to ask like a random person to go to the movies with me. I was like, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do! NOT. The line at the Chinese Theatre was long, but we all got in. I met a nice lady in line. She was Mexican, looked and sounded more European than Mexican, apparently she was half Polish. She’s an actress. She wanted to swap numbers after the show. Nice! By the way the tickets were for the Nelson Mandela Movie – Long Walk to Freedom. That was a nice surprise. Nice movie, good acting. But I still think South African Actors would have done an even better job. I mean they could have still Cast Idris Elba as the Lead and maybe Vathiswa Ndarha as Winnie or anyone else for that matter. Just my two cents! IT brought a lot of bad memories, I’m glad most of those are in the past. Needless to say, we still have a long way to go as the Country and the world in general.

After the movie, I went to my friend’s job, she was about to knock off (get off work), she told me to wait for her, she had a few more tickets for that day. WHAT?!?!?!? Yay! She freshened up and we went back to the Chinese Theatre. We saw Short movies – Seven of them! All nice, different Genres. Thereafter, we went and saw some documentary/movie about Republicans in Iowa or something like that. Everybody seemed to like it. My friend was so into it, she was laughing out loud, having  a blast. I was yawning, bored like a mutha f*cker! Thankfully, halfway through that we had to go watch a Nigerian movie she really wanted to see. She’s Nigerian. I’m not a big Nigerian Movie fan but anything was going to be better than that political docie I was watching. The Nigerian movie was entitled Half of a Yellow Moon. Anika Noni Rose who was of the Dream Girls (Beyonce, Anika and Jennifer Hudson), White Chicks and a whole lot others is in this movie. She was at the Screening with the Director. They did Q&A’s afterwards. We also got a chance to go down and meet then and talk with them. We hung out for quite a while with her, Jen and I. She liked that we’re Africans. She loves Africa. I got to take a picture with her and she signed my ticket.

Ten movies in one day! Top that! It was a good day, for sure. Thanks Jen! Man and I spent a lot of time together, either at home, listening to his stories about himself or helping him with his autograph business. Fun times! All stuff I wouldn’t normally do anywhere else but in Hollywood. Every now and again, I would call Ted and check on him. No answer on his house phone. Oh well.

I did a few more Talk and Game Shows, one had that guy Jeff Something something of Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Big fan! I got a chance to shake his hand, that was nice. Kirk Franklin and his choir do the music for the show, so we spent an entire day with them. Kirk is so cute, so petite, he can break dance! They had a group of Mormons VS Priests, the show is called American Bible Challenge. I never watched the episode or any of the shows I’ve been too, so I don’t know if you can actually see me. Let me know if you do, ok? J

After the movies, Jen told me that she would like to set me up with a friend of hers who is a bus driver.
Me:        Is he short? I’ve a feeling he’s short.
Jen:        Well....
Me:        Ok, so he’s short, great!
Jen:        That’s the problem with you! You jump to conclusions! You don’t even know anything about this guy and you’re already ruling him out!
Me:        I didn’t rule him out, I’m just saying! How do you know this guy any way?
Jen:        He’s a friend of mine.
Me:        Why don’t you date him?
Jen:        He’s too short for me.
Me:        And too tall for me?
Jen:        You’re shorter than me, he’s taller than you but shorter than me
Me:        Ok, so we’re talking about a short guy here. Awesome.
(Jen is 5’10 {175metres} which is kind of average for men. Don’t get me wrong, I never said I wouldn’t go on a date with the guy. Jen is the one who jumped conclusions about me not wanting to date this guy.)
Jen: He is a very nice guy, you guys will get along.
Me: And you couldn’t? I don’t understand why you are praising this guy and yet he’s not good enough for you to date him!
Jen: Let Me finish!...

Apparently dude has his own apartment, no roommates, in a nice neighbourhood, Jen said it things work out with this guy and I, we could live together (dude and I). Because that’s what I am trying to do; move in with yet another man. Heck no! She told me that she would arrange for him and I to meet up, asked if I wanted her to be there when we met. I was like, yeah, NO! No chaperones! Why don’t you just give him my number, then we’ll take it from there? She told me that he is painfully shy, almost never talks (I guess that’s why she thought we’d get along, we’d have a lot to not talk about), he is always working, he is very lonely, doesn’t have a life, so he goes to work even on his days off, blah blah blah. Oh and they met on a dating site and went on two dates but didn’t have anything in common because, well, I guess, of his height and according to Jen,he’s too old for her. She’s younger than me. I don’t know why she agreed to go on two dates with a guy who is both shorter and older than her considering they have those details on his profile on the dating site. First of all, I don’t what anybody’s hand me downs. That’s just weird. Why would you look at me and think, oh yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do! Imo hook her up with that short, old, bald bus driver dude I went out with and didn’t like. WTF! I agreed to go out with him because she wouldn’t take no as an answer and I owed her one.

The following day, dude calls, we’ll call him Lewis. We talked for an hour over the phone. He works for Metro (The bus company in their IT department). He asked me what Jen told me about him, I told him that he is a bus driver, he was like WHAT? The guy isn’t shy at all. He talks like any regular person. Nothing painfully shy about him. He hates working weekends. He only does so when he is on standby, other than that, he loves his weekends off. Basically, everything Jen told me about Lewis was not true. Who does that? Who goes on two dates with a guy and still knows nothing about him? A girl who is a friend of mine and knows nothing about me! The fact that she thought she’d hook me up with her ex is a sure sign that she knows nothing about me, cos I am not that girl and I don’t know anybody who is anyway. Lewis proposed a meeting. I accepted. I didn’t have a choice.  









Thursday, January 02, 2014

I Found a Place! Where We Can Boogie, Boogie Tonight!

I was up all night googling the guy I was planning on rooming with. I found Youtube videos of him and his documentary on his site. I watched that. It's about 2 hours long. That gave me a good feel of who is. I was looking forward to meeting him. He seemed down to earth. At the end of his documentary, he gets married,I was told he is divorced now, which is sad cos the doc was only done five years ago, if I remember well.

I kept checking my facebook messages and got nothing.

The following morning, back to Craig's List, looking for more rooms to rent and stuff, same ads from the same people. If we talked and you promised to get back to me and didn't, I am flagging your ad next time I see it! Meaning it will get removed. I have no mercy! Why promise to call if you won't when you're supposed to be looking for someone? Same goes for the jerk who let me walk all the way to his place and didn't have the audacity to pick up my calls when I got there. I flagged his ads for almost a month haha, even when I was no longer looking for a pace to stay. Makes you wonder why he was looking for someone that long. Cos he's a jerk that's why!

Some people want you to pay rent for a room, or a room to share and still walk their dogs three times a day.  THREE BLEEPING TIMES A DAY! Those people also want you to have a job so you can afford rent, OMG these people are unbelievable. I pray I am never that desperate for a place to stay that I will pay someone rent and still be their little slave.

Finally, late the following day, Man, we'll call him that, added me on Facebook. I was so excited. He probably wanted to check me out because, believe it or not, my profile is private, you can't view it if you're not my friend. I accepted, he sent me an email saying he was still looking for a roommate and would be on the Boulevard the following day, he would meet me there. I was so excited. He was going to contact me around 11am the following day before he got on his way towards me. I didn't see why he wouldn't want to room with me, so I checked out the following morning. I had been so over paying daily for accommodation anyway.

No word from Man around 11 that day! I had checked out before 10am. I was wandering the boulevard already by then. I kept checking his Facebook. He doesn't have a cellphone so. Yeah, I am talking about now in 2013 in The United States of America. There are still people who don't have phones. IN HOLLYWOOD! Figure that one out!

Noon, no word! Crap! What does this mean? I saw him online around noon, I messaged him in fear of looking like a stalker, but I had to do it! He went off line. Shoot! Around 4pm, my cellphone battery was giving in, I went back to the hostel to charge it. I asked Jen if I could charge, she let me, she told me I could hang out in the tv room. I didn't have to wander the streets of Los Angeles. Thank goodness! She suggested I just check back in, spend another night at the hostel and leave the following day whether I find a place or not. I went with that idea.I wasted enough on my day anyway, I could have been online looking for other places but I had a feeling I was things were going to work out with Man.

They did! He called that evening around 6. He came over around 7 that night. So much for 11am. We met up, dude is tall! He's like 6'4 (190cm). That's freaking tall! He's lean too, so that makes him look that much taller. He was going to have dinner at the pizza place next door to the hostel, so we went there together, I watched him eat spaghetti haha. I had already had dinner. We then went to the apartment together. It's a small studio (bachelor flat), two closets, very important! He has a lot of stuff, like clothes and memorabilia from movies etc. There wasn't any furniture in the apartment yet which was a bummer because I didn't have any furniture myself and wasn't ready to buy any. I was looking for furnished accommodation. He was sleeping on the Red carpet. Literally.  From some Red carpet event. I found that interesting, in a good way.

There was nothing in there, not a fridge, even though most apartments come with a full kitchen, no microwave, no stove. That kinda dampened my spirits but since Man came so highly recommended by Jen, I thought I will take the place if he will have me. I had dealt with enough flakes on CL, I was so done with that!

He offered me the place, I accepted. I left after about an hour, back to the hostel. I told Jen all about it the following day. I left early the following morning, around 10. The cab driver was a nice girl originally from Texas. She told me she has been in Hollywood for five years now. She would be happy to show me around, as a cab driver, she knows all corners of LA. I was excited! I had a new friend! We dropped my stuff off at the apartment, she asked if I wanted to drive around with her and kill time. She had about two hours to kill. I was like heck yeah! I told man, I would be back in two. I paid him, he gave me my keys, all set! He was like, I thought we were gonna go shopping for stuff for the apartment! I thought to myself, I thought since you have already been living here, you would already have stuff for the apartment! I wasn't ready to go stuff shopping for the apartment, after I just paid rend and spent all that money moving and at the hostel. PLUS, because they hacked my bank account, I didn't get paid on the 25th. They told me they had to wait until they check bounced in my old account, then they would mail me the check. So that was another bummer. I asked them to deposit the money into my new account, they wouldn't do it. They told me they had to mail me a check, oh well.

I soon gave them my new address and asked them to mail my check there, they promised I would receive it in five days. I didn't! While driving around with Cab Driver, I got a call from Man; he had just found couches for the apartment, he wanted to tell me that they were a steal, he was going to buy them for us, i would then automatically owe him half ($75). He called again, while I was still digesting that, to tell me that those people also had a Fridge, $150, my share for that would be another $75, meaning in total, I had to pay $150 over and above all the money I had been spending all along, I blatantly refused! I told him if he wanted to buy furniture for his flat, by all means to go ahead but I didn't have the budget for that, plus what was gonna happen when we had to move out of the apartment? How would we split the furniture up? He told me that we would then find another apartment, that we would share. I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer and be like, what if things don't work out and I have to move out? Experience has taught me that I was going to have to move out for one reason or another. So yeah! I had to play safe. He told me he was going to go ahead and buy the stuff either way because he's from here and he knows how much things cost here, and those were a bargain. It's an American thing, they assume that just because you're from another country, you don't know how normal everyday life works, they always explain things to you, which to me makes them come across as not that intelligent, someone explaining something super simple. I forget that they are trying to make things easier for me. I usually just..well...Yawn.

He bought the stuff, they gave him a free tv, chandelier, cutlery, dishes, omg, you name it, with those. And cookies! Armenian stuff, the guys were Armenian. We were in the part of Hollywood with lots of Armenians, next to Thai Town, not too far from Korea Town. I felt like I was back in Georgia, there was a lot of Russian Speaking. I had to bring back my 10 Russian words haha. I taught in a Russian school in Georgia, so yeah.  I couldn't hold a conversation in Russian though, unlike in Georgian. They did get pleasantly surprised, still do, when I whoop out my 5 words.

The place is pretty central, walking distance from the 99 cents only store, my favorite Armenian bakery, lots of Bus lines in the neighborhood. It was a pretty convenient location for someone who doesn't drive. I applied for CNA jobs in the neighboring hospitals and nursing homes. Lots of Latinas in there, I don't know if they hire other races. Still haven't heard back from them

I was lucky that the very day I moved in with Man, he got the couches, our apartment looked like a living room. He had told me when I went to view that he doesn't sleep on couches or beds, he needs to be on the floor because of his sciatica problem. He went on to explain what that is. Thanks, I'm a massage therapist, so no thanks. I kinda know what that is. I might even be able to help you with that! If you can stop patronising me! They don't do it to patronise though, they mean well! He told me how he was going to empty one of his storages, move some stuff into his main storage and some to the apartment, he was going to bring his cat back which was staying at his friend's all along. I was just curious why he didn't do all that all along. All of a sudden, he's making all these life altering changes in his life. Oh well.

I had been told that he is a very busy person, he has a plethora of jobs and and and. Well...
















Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Hollywood, Here I Come!

I weighed myself the day I moved to LA. I lost 25lbs (more than 11kg). I was psyched! I had probably lost a little before I bought a scale because I felt like I lost at least two dress sizes, which is about 14kg. I still have a long way to go, but it all starts with one step, does it not?

I took the Greyhound bus. Oh my goodness! What a shack! I had never seen such a filthy, run down Greyhound bus in my entire life! This is an international bus company that has been around for the longest time, are this people kidding me? In South Africa is the bus! Not the last one I took before I went to Georgia though, hot mess! Maybe Greyhound in general is going down, who knows? I had a ton of luggage! Initially I thought I could fit everything in my two huge bags and a small one and then carry the laptop bag. Nope! I needed another bag, and another one, and another one! This is all after I had donated four huge Black bin bags of stuff! I had to keep taking stuff out, putting it in the donate pile. Not a  very smart move when youŕe pressed for time cos youŕe not thinking clearly. I had these tiny little bags together with my two huge ones, it was a mess. When I went to check in, the lady told me, I was allowed one free checked in bag, everything else had to be paid for. I could take one, maybe even two of the small ones in with me as carry on luggage, but that was it. Uhm, what about the other five small ones and the second big one? Oops. I paid about $15 for the second big one, then she told me every other one was going to cost me $40 or so each, my best bet was to buy a box, $10, stuff all the small ones in there and pay $40 for them collectively. I had no option but to. She couldn't find the bigger boxes and her supervisor who had the key was busy, she told me to try taking them into the bus, see if the driver would let me. I tell you, I was rushing, tired and sweaty, I just needed a break. I wasn't up for carrying the bags onto the bus, being turned away, and going back to check them in, they were heavy, and I was tired. The driver didn't even look at me twice, I took everything in and found space for it inside. Yippee! I sat right behind the driver, female driver, with blonde fake hair, long, fake eyelashes and nails. Surprisingly enough, she could see the road. She was a fast yet safe driver. My kinda girl! Her son was sitting across from me, playing games on his Play Station.

The bus was FILTHY! IT reeked of body odor, sweat and just grossness from never ever being cleaned. We left around 7pm. It was going to be a 15 hour bus ride. I wasn't looking forward to being on the road that long, I was exhausted so I knew I was going to sleep majority of it. Which was a good thing. We had a few stops on the way and one major one in Vegas where we changed buses. Thank you Father! Our last stop before Vegas, an Eastern European girl got on crying, ran back out, back in, out, in Gosh! I was just like, make up your mind woman! She left her stuff on my seat. When she got back in taking her stuff, I realised she was crying, so of course I asked if she was ok. She said she was and decided to sit next to me. Don't you hate it when that happens? When you still plan on sleeping some more and someone comes and sits next to you? Not only that, she poured her heart out, she was weeping! Apparently she was leaving America for good. She had been here for a year or just under and had met and fallen in love with a man. She was sad to leave him. I understood, kinda why she was so sad. Kinda because I am hardly ever in a relationship so I don't recall going through the same thing myself. She was going to Vegas.

We entered Las Vegas! Lights! Lights! Lights everywhere. Flashing lights! Casinos and hotels, that's all I saw in every corner. It was pretty exciting, I won't lie to you! I took pictures with my silly phone which kept freezing on me. We stopped for more than fifteen minutes, I walked around and took more pictures, taking it all in! I'm in Vegas, babe! So thrilling! I wished I could spend at least the night. We got onto a nicer bus from Vegas to Los Angeles. By The way, Las Vegas means The Meadows. Los Angeles -  The Angels. Just FYI (Spanish). The new bus was much newer, it had outlets to charge out electronic devices, wifi, air conditioning, nicer, comfy leather seats #HoneyLetMeUpgradeYou! I took the same seat as before, right behind the driver, cute guy with a nice butt. There's more room there (behind the driver not in the driver's behind, get your mind out of the gutter!)

More casinos and hotels on our way out of Nevada (The State where Las Vegas is based). I had always wanted to go to Vegas, it was nice to get a taste of it, even for a few minutes. I will be back!

I tried to get some sleep the rest of the journey, I had my iPod on, listened to some music I haven't listened to in forever, I hardly ever use the iPod or listen to music on my phone for that matter. We had a few more stops, we passed through Arizona. I had been there before, on my way to Utah, when my sister's old friend took me out for lunch and a hike up the mountain in the scorching heat! All in good fun though, all in good fun! We had another stop as we entered the State of California, some dodgy spot that wasn't lit. It was still locked when we got there. A lady who was in uniform (hell, could have been a man! Welcome to California) came out to open for us. She let us into the restrooms but didn't turn the lights on, I made the hugest mistake of asking her on her way out if the lights did work. She flipped! I just came in, Just give me a minute yada yada yada! I told her, ít's a mere yes or no question. You wasted more time yapping than you would have just giving me a simple yes or no, which is all I asked for! EXCUSE ME! I gave her my hand to talk to and walked away, secretly freaking out, hoping she wouldn't follow me into the dark and stab me, shove the roaches that were having a field day all over that building down my throat or worse! She did! She followed me in there, I quickly got into a stall, sat down on a wet seat, YUCK! Clearly  I wasn't thinking because I never sit in a public bathroom and I didn't even need to use the bathroom, I just wanted to stretch my legs.

She left when she saw how much of a coward I really am haha. Oops!

We drove through the Inland Empire, the county where I lived in Ontario, then into Los Angeles County! It was morning, the Southern Californian sun was shining, it was a new day! In every way! I had really left Utah, it all happened so sudden, but it was done! I had just arrived in Los Angeles. A whole another world was ahead of me. A whole lot of uncertainty, I had nowhere to stay really, and no job, nobody was expecting me, but I knew in my heart of hearts I be just fine.

Last stop, Greyhound Station, downtown LA. I was the last one to get off. IT was around 11am. We did 16 hours on the road. I was ready to get the kcuf Out of that bus. I didn't know which direction I had to go for the hotel, I didn't care, I'm in LA Trick! I took off my many pieces of luggage, took everything inside the station and started looking for means to the hotel. I called the receptionist, she told me of two shuttle companies. One didn't work that route, the other one was going to be able to pick me up in two hours. I checked with cabs, they charged more than three times the shuttles. Crap!

I sat there trying to figure out plan C. I thought of paying for a locker, getting a day's bus pass and making two trips to drop the stuff at the hotel. The locker guy gave me a deal on that too, so I would have been set, kinda. A man who had been sitting at the station waiting for someone told me to go outside and negotiate with the backdoor taxi drivers. You know the ones who's cars are unmarked? I found one who agreed to charge me the same as the shuttle or a little more, can't remember. I had to carry my own stuff to the car though, they weren't allowed at the station. I did that bit by bit always making sure nothing was out of sight. I felt like I was in Joburg, I tell ya! Park Station. Been there, done that! Driver was sweet, he asked about me, I asked about him. He asked for my number and asked to call me that afternoon to arrange taking me out that night. He liked how excited I was to be in Hollywood.

I took my many bags upstairs, the hotel/hostel turned out to be just a hostel, which suited me just fine! Especially for the price and the location. It was a small walk from the Dolby Theatre where they hold the Oscars, The Jimmy Kimmel Studio, Chinese Theatre where they hold red carpet events, movie premiers etc, you name it! It was in the heart of Hollywood. I wanted to live there. The lady told me they might be hiring, so I talked to her boss, he told me it was a very quiet time of the year, to try again in the Summer. I understood, there weren't that many people there. I was in a six bed room all by myself, which was great. Otherwise I would have had to pay for storage for my baggage, which took over most of the closet. The lady let me put it in the room because I was alone. I bought my food across the street, at the Fresh n Easy. Nice grocery store, cheap and has fresh stuff. I got yogurt for the week, fruit and a few TV dinners and some sandwich stuff. They offered breakfast, bread, peanut butter, jelly, oatmeal and milk. I used to have the oatmeal with my yogurt as I usually do at my own place.

It was nice having my own room and only pay a sixth of the price, I also got a discount because I booked online. Score! The stars were aligned! The receptionist fast became my friend, weĺl call her Jen. Nigerian who apparently had lived in London and was now going to school in The States. She worked at the hostel in exchange for accommodation. She became my guardian angel who helped me with a lot of things, she referred me to people who helped use me as an extra, so I did that for some pocket money. I went to a lot of TV shows, and still do, too fun! Just being the same room with the likes of Queen Latifah, people I grew up watching on tv (U.N.I.T.Y that's the unity, who are you calling a b!tch?) and never thought I would get to meet in person. The first shows I went to was Craig Ferguson's, I had of him but had never seen his show. The only talk show I had ever been to before was The Felicia Mabuza-Suttle Show in South Africa when I was Weighless Slimmer of The Year early 2000's.

I stayed at the hostel for a week. In as much as I was enjoying it, I had to move somewhere where I was going to save money, I couldn't stand paying every morning. I did that because I was actively looking for a more permanent place and didn't know when I would find it. Los Angeles is rough when it comes to accommodation! These people don't play, some will put on their ad that they want you to weigh no more than 110lbs (less than 50kg) and be a certain height, go to the gym no less than 4 times a week, you must have two full time jobs and go to school full time. Basically, don't ever be home, just pay for storage. Loony, if I want storage, I will rent storage for far less! Majority of them want to room with someone they are going to have sex with. Not officially but that's the elephant in the room. So you have to pay this person for the convenience of having sex with you. How nice! Simply because they got to the apartment before you. Cos, let's face it, these people don't even own these places, they are tenants just like youŕe gonna be when you finally find a place. Some even pay less than you do, just for the heck of it!

I didn't qualify for most of the ads I saw on Craig's list, unfortunately. Some women wanted bisexual or bicurious women to room with them, someone they could have fun with behind closed doors. F#ck you! I'm not gonna pay you rent and still let you have your f*cking fun with me behind closed doors! What if youŕe not my type? They all wanna see your picture as they are for sure a catch, I mean they may not be your type! Ever thought about that greedy, horny fool?

I would go for walks everyday, and interviews, cos not only was I looking for a place to live, I was also looking for a job. I would go sight seeing, take pictures etc. I was still tired though from the last few crazy weeks I had in Utah. I wondered about Ted, called his house a few times to no avail. One afternoon after having gone to view a place around the corner from the Hostel and not being let in, the guy didn't even pick up the phone when I called from outside, I went back in disbelief, wondering if I would ever find a place in Hollywood. What a vain society! My gosh! Jen told me about an ex resident at the hostel, someone who works on the boulevard as a character, he had, not too long ago found an apartment and was looking for a roommate. She didn't have his number, I was to walk the boulevard looking for him or ask around. Apparently everybody knows him. She gave me some details about him. I googled him that night, found his facebook page and sent him a message. I was wary of weirding him out, but desperate times!

I walked down Hollywood Blvd looking for him, asking around, they told me they hadn't seen him in two weeks. They told me he had a part time job somewhere, I called the store and there they told me they hadn't heard from him in two weeks as well. Great! I hoped he would get back to me on Facebook. He seemed to be kinda active there. Unless he had taken a two week break on there as well.