Monday, August 01, 2016

Kiss Me Where it Counts

It's a new day! A new week and a new month! Are you ready? I know, I am! Happy August!
         Who am I going to rent my living room to? I need to make some extra money and I need it NOW! Muscle Head didn't work out; is Rene gonna be the one? I had found out that Rene is not a woman, he seems to be certain I'm going to like him because women tend to. I need to make sure from day 1 that he knows this is not going to be that kind of deal!

Rene finally made his way to my place to view it. He had saved the Ad, he even showed it to me. All the pictures are nice and clear in there. I asked him to take off his shoes. He told me that they are new, asked if I liked them. That was him turning on his charm already. In my head, I was telling myself, listen, dude! That's not what we're doing here! He came in, gave me a hug and a kiss IN THE NECK! Woah! That threw me off a little! I didn't expect the wetness in my neck! It took me all the way back to Speedy's times. Things weren't awkward. He sat down and told me the story of his life again, which was team too much because we had already gone through all that already. It was hard enough getting off the phone with him, now, I have to try and get him to stop in person! This guys sure talks too much for a write! (If I can be judgmental for a minute). The guy showed me pictures of himself when he was doing well, he showed me a picture of his bedroom to prove to me that he is neat. He told me he didn't have any furniture but does have a lot of clothes.

Rene told me that he was planning to buy a car soon, he showed me a picture of his old car that he had posed next to. Enough with the pictures! My gosh! He asked if I was on Facecook. I told him, no! I needed to set boundaries already. Remember what happened when I went to the Comedy Club with a previous tenant? We don't want that happening again! Rene told me that he wanted to take the place. I was happy to hear it because he reminded me so much about my brother. No, my brother doesn't kiss me in the neck! But the hustler in Rene reminded me of my brother, who is such a hard worker. Also, my brother is very neat. I told Rene that there are no rules other than just to be considerate. I didn't want someone who was going to take over the place and the peace that I have been working on forever. He told me that that's just what he wants as well:- peace! I was happy we had something in common. He asked me to hold the place for him until he got his check from Amazon or somebody. I told him I wasn't going to be able to do that,. I needed him to at least pay a deposit, which, he would forfeit if he didn't take the place by a certain date. He was happy to do that but unfortunately, he didn't have a dime on him at the time. OMG! He told me that he was going to ask a friend to lend him the deposit and he also wanted his Spiritual Adviser to see the place, so he was going to make another trip back with the SA (Spiritual Adviser). He called her while he was still at mine to find out if she could help with the money. Before I knew it, he was telling her that the lady and I would get along so well. He put the call on the speaker and asked me to talk to the Adviser. Oh Lord! Why? 

When Rene first arrived at my place, he told me that I sounded like a white lady over the phone. I told him that I was sorry to disappoint. He told me, 'No, no, no, no! I love that you're black!' I was like, are you sure because you were pretty convinced that I was going to like you and we would get along and that was when you thought I was white. Now what? 

The SA wasn't going to be able to bring the money that night, so I had to let the guy go. I tell ya, it was hard getting him to leave, he was so into talking about himself and showing me receipts. He showed me his script and then started reading, from Table of Contents, all the way to the first chapter. How do you tell someone like that, ENOUGH ALREADY?