Sunday, June 11, 2017

My Wedding Day

Ok! So! W're back in LA. Nice and full from the Lamb shank stew! Around 9:30pm, Calvin came to me in the living room. Babe, My mom said she can marry us tomorrow, are you busy tomorrow?
WHAAATTTTTT??!?!??!!? What the freaking freak? My head was spinning! It spins just thinking about that moment! What would you have done?
My eyes popped out of my head. I tried to act all nonchalant about it but my gosh, this was the moment I had been waiting for all my life! I was like, Sure! Sounds good! What time tomorrow? "In the morning, before noon" Awesome! Tell her, thanks, I really appreciate this! It means so much to me that she is is going to be such a huge part of our wedding! Listen! My head is spinning still! I want to call my sisters and tell them. I wanna go tell it on the mountain. I ended up doing none but taking a couple of breaths and figuring out what I was going to wear on my wedding day. It's in 12 hours, which includes several hours of sleep. What am I going to where? Where am I going to get it from? Who, what, why and when?

I eventually went to sleep without having told a soul that I was getting married the following morning. It wouldn't make any difference telling my family the night before, it's not like they were going to make it to the wedding the following morning. Everything was so far fetched that I wanted to see if the wedding was going to happen before I told anyone.

Wedding Day

The following morning. It's my wedding day! Now what? In a few hours, I was going to be saying I do for the first time in my life, this is something I have wanted for the longest time! I don't have any wedding type dress in my closet, something new would be nice, no pun intended! Wait! What about something blue? Borrowed? Oh crap! I'm getting married! Wow! Uhm, OK! Let me rush to my favorite store and get a dress, any dress, I have cute shoes, and of course, we had a ring, what else? The store is 10 minutes away, no traffic! Thank goodness! Tried on a bunch of dresses. I told the lady at the fitting room that I was getting married in an hour. She was like, WHAT? Yup! That's what I said! I found a dress I liked, cream with a little sparkle and a black bottom. Nice and forgiving. Just what the doctor had ordered.

Back home, dress in hand, quick shower. I wanted to have the family on Skype during the ceremony, which was to take place in our own dining room, alas, that didn't materialized, due to no fault of their own. When I got back home from wedding dress shopping, talk about Say Yes to the dress! Calvin was hanging out with his friends. The friends didn't know we were getting married. Even an hour before the wedding! Everyone was sitting in the backyard drinking beers and talking sht.  Calvin's mom was going to officiate, she's qualified to do that. I wen to 'my room', the office, that I like to call my room because all the stuff  I moved in with is in there. I am in there right now, typing this, I've been here since 5am today, uploading videos on my YouTube Channel working on my eBay Store. I closed the door because I didn't want the groom to see me in my dress until I came out to the ceremony. It's the least I could do, all things considered. I did a quick video for my family, as I was getting dressed, yeah my family sends videos of each other getting dressed! Just kidding, this was my way of including them. I bleached my teeth and got dressed, wore my favorite perfume, hypnotic poison. Calvin bought this for me a while back. The tooth bleeching strips are blue, something blue? The dress  turned out to have a bit of a rip where the alarm thing was attached. I would've loved to keep it for sentimental value, but wasn't going to keep a busted dress. So, something borrowed? The ring was only ten days old, so definitely something new.  

Now that I have all my somethings, let's go out there and get married! Just as I was walking towards the door, Calvin tried it! He was about to budge into my room, I was like, noooooooo! I don't think so boo! You will see me when I come out in a second.
blushing bride, wedding day
The Blushing Bride

His mom was here, ready to get the show on the road. Whew! We're really doing this! It was nothing like I had ever imagined, I can tell you that but it was still me, nonetheless. Random as hell!

I walked out to the living room, took one last look at myself before saying I do. This was the last time I was going to look at myself as a single, never been married woman. From now on, my life was going to change forever. Let's go!
Calvin looked dashing. He always does in a suit, or otherwise, but more so in a suit. Black tie. His mom had a gray suit on. She looked nice and formal. Like someone who was about to marry people. Our witness was here. He is a car mechanic who was working that morning, so he came straight from under a car to witness our holy matrimony. The friends that were drinking beer and talking sht in the background, ended up at the wedding by default. One guy didn't even have his shirt on. Can you blame him? When he came over that morning, he didn't know he was going to a wedding. Calvin's brother was out and about, so he didn't make it. Hehe! He doesn't have a cellphone,so when he came home, he was told we got married that morning.

I asked one of the friends to video tape the ceremony with my iPad. He insisted on using his phone. OK, jackass, because it's your fcking wedding! Luckily, his phone takes very good videos, so I take that jackass statement back. He told me that he doesn't know how to use the iPad, he didn't want to mess things up. Bullshit!


cushion cut wedding ring
Diamonds are a girl's best friend


Reception? 

After the ceremony, we had a photo shoot! A friend randomly showed up, he was stunned to find us super dressed up, Calvin's mom had a Bible in her hand. What's going on here! There's a bunch of guys smelling like beer, what? They told him we just got married. He congratulated us and immediately took out his phone to snapchat that announcement. Uh! No! WTF. We took photos on the lawn. I work hard watering that lawn every morning, I was glad it came in handy. Out of the blue, we ended up with guns in our hands taking photos, I'm talking machine guns! It was great! Someone was the director of photography, then, there was a bunch of cameramen.
machine gun wedding
The Bride And The Groom
Talk about a Machine Gun Wedding

Not long thereafter, Calvin had to rush to his dentist's appointment. I took that opportunity to head to the marriage office to drop off the marriage certificate. It was going to supposedly take 6 weeks or so for my marriage license to be mailed back to me. Good Times!

Call me Mrs.... That's Mam to you! Haha.

I'm Married! Whoooo hoooo!