A Very Shitty Situation!

Happy 2018, everybody! It's here! The year I've been waiting for all of 2017, haha! No lies! 2017 was so interesting, I'm considering writing a
book about it. I have lots of material jotted in a notepad on some of the events of 2017 already! The stuff maybe too heavy for a blog.But I will tread ... lightly!

Here's some New Year's inspiration for us all! Me back in the day, when I was slimmer of the year Gauteng (Johannesburg province/state, South Africa). Before picture in the insert.

I am here to tell you that after my infamous liquid diet, or was it during? I suffered immensely from constipation! If you do go the liquid diet route, try to include roughage aka fibre in your diet. Some people go as far as buying it from the supermarket and adding it to their drinks. I never did that. Obviously! I used to drink (and still do), warm water, as warm as I can take it, in the mornings. That on its own would ready my stomach to go. In recent years, I started adding apple cider vinegar to my morning water. Sometimes, green tea as well. How much water, you ask? For me? A lot! Up to 2 liters! At a go! I am not suggesting you do this, however if you did, for those of you who don't like water, you would've drunk all your water in one sitting. How amazing your life would be! I guess, this explains why you end up bathrooming for an hour during the drinking of all this water, because there's no room in the stomach. I noticed that during liquid diet, some mornings, the water would just stay in the stomach until it's time to pee. That'd be the only way I would excrete all this water. Guess who had the clearest pee of them all? Some mornings, and I get up early, I would feel the need to go but there's cement / clay blocking the exit way. Imagine that? Please be careful! When you notice any signs of approaching constipation, do something about it! I went through situations that I wouldn't want any of you to ever even read about; even on this blog! How did I resolve my problem? Suppositories!

Suppositories for constipation

When I was younger, and my sister had a little one, mom used to make suppositories for him when he wasn't number two-ing. She used sunlight, shaped it like a capsule, kinda, then insert it in his you know what. I don't remember for how long etc. But bar soap. Apparently, the same process works for grown ups. Just in case you have this problem and aren't able to make it to a store or pharmacy. Anywhoo, the suppositories work this way: stick it all the way up your bum, it will dissolve. It's made our of glycerine, so oily, that will help whatever clay is blocking the driveway melt some, so it can out! The rest will be history. I bought 100, just in case, I have the problem 99 times.

From Zumba. Working on my fitness

LOL that's a line from Fergie's song, Fergilicious.

Cheese anyone?

This cheese was one of my fave things after liquid diet, when I started eating softer foods to acclimatize myself with real life eating. It could also be one of the reasons I suffered from the above situation.Watch out for dairy!

While Calvin gets fresh coffee

Calvin loves this exotic coffee spot. He has bought almost $50 coffees there, for fun! That guy must really love him. I don't drink coffee, so selfie time! I bought these boots in Beverly Hills, when I lived there and haven't worn them more than 3 times.

Feeling Skinny

Showing some skin in the above pic. I remember feeling so skinny then! How far one has come!

Gratitude Journal life

I took a photo of the above pen because it's a symbol of how much stuff I've had to be grateful for over the years. This pen was for strictly my gratitude journal. I used it until it dried out. I got it from Bally's, Las Vegas when I won that trip from The Dr Phil Show. Just another thing to be grateful for. Who of you has a vision board? I need to redo mine.

Hiking with my boo thang!

First hike of the year. Whose idea was it to wear my new white shoes? Oh well!

Something meaty!

This was the first time I ate duck hearts. Hubs came home one day and brought me this dinner. This melted my heart because, I love me some sausage. That's what she said!

Alfredo for hubby

Cooking something I won't be eating. Story of my life. It's a labor of love as I truly don't mind.

My soft meals

As you can see, cheese, protein shake, oysters, cold meat and mackerel. Very high protein foods! Carbs? What carbs?

Naturally, after doing the liquid diet, you may want to ease your way into solids food by starting off eating mushy foods like the above for a few days. This will keep your tummy nice and shrunk too.

Zumba Day!

The greenery around me is the work of my own hands, and my husband's and his brothers, who he pays to mow the lawn for us for the most part.

What the Fck?

So, this happened? I couldn't tell you where this skin condition came from. I normally have very smooth skin. Suddenly, I got these dry patches that were itchy. I couldn't even scrape them off, they were just there! They looked better lotioned. I have dry skin but nothing a moisturizer or good oil can't fix. I tried everything from 100 % aloe vera, castor, coconut oil on these things and they didn't seem to wanna go away. When I put good ole vaseline on before bedtime, I woke up with them more than 60% gone! Vaseline, a name to you trust! Haha! I say vaseline, but it really was petroleum jelly from the 99 cents store. That's what did it, folks!

24 hours after petroleum jelly

I got my smile back! Yay! As you can tell, I am all about natural, home remedies. Not a big fan of doctors and pharmacies, no offence to anyone in that line of work.

Going on a date

Speaking of Fergie, those are from her shoe line. Fergilicious gladiators, that  I only wore twice since I bought them. The Coach bag was from my wedding gifts. Click here for more on that! We ate Korean food. I like all food. Clearly! I have yet to eat Korean food that makes me think, OMG! Love! Korean BBQ's are expensive. Even here, where we're not far from authentic Asian eateries. $50 for a platter for two. That's expensive right? Or am I being my regular cheap self?

Something meaty for Calvin

I wish I could eat that right now!

Carlos Santana booties

Another pair of nudes. Carlos as in Maria, Maria! Song, Carlos. He has a shoe line and perfumes. I like both but perfume didn't last longer than a few hours on my skin, so we skipped that. Spoiler alert: I sold these shoes on eBay. They were uncomfortable and I don't suffer for beauty. I only wore them once for a few hours. The customer loved them! Just like the Nude Steve Maddens in the previous blog. Sold em!

Steve Madden /  Madden Girl 

I love these! They're so comfy for some reason. I don't remember wearing them but I like them.

Street selfie

This is one of my skinny moments! As you can tell, I was feeling very confident here! I wore American flag colors as I was going to the social security offices, for fun. These are the same shoes I wore hiking above. Love em! They're so comfy! They're from Aldo.

That one time I was on Ellen

Just kidding! Ellen showed a clip of a Judge Judy episode I was in. The same thing happened once on The Wendy Williams Show. I was like, yess! I'm on Wendy! If you can't tell, I'm the one in blue with straight hair.

More liver! Nom!

I think I'm hungry! All this food is making my mouth water.

For my dear Calvin with love

I will see you again soon!

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xo