Thursday, September 17, 2015

Driving on The Wrong Side Of The Road

The drive from the car dealership to Hollywood was pretty interesting. Here's someone who is used to driving regular sized cars on the left side (or the wrong side) of the road with the steering wheel on the right, driving a gigantic car on the right side. I had literally been telling been telling myself before I even bought the car that I will do just fine.  I had to keep doing affirmations child that I was going to do fine; that I wasn't going to drive on the wrong side of the road so far away from home!

Before I could even digest the fact that I just bought myself a new car, I punched in Chris' address on the GPS and stepped on it! A few minutes later, the thing was telling me to keep left and get on the freeway. Already! Heck no! Sht just got real! I pulled to the side of the road and made a few calls. I called a friend from Eastern Europe and asked her where she was. I told her a friend of mine from Vegas was in Hollywood and wanted to give her something for me. She told me she was going to be at the dentist with her daughter. I told her, I would let her know when the friend was in the vicinity. Chris and I had talked, it was his off day. I told him I was going to be popping by. I also told my Peruvian friend that I was going to be in her neighborhood in an hour or so. I then took a deep breath, checked myself out in the mirror, saw the glow in my eye and knew it was a good day! I stepped on it again and got on that freeway. Let's go!

It was exhilarating! I was listening to the radio, probably for the first time since I lived in Connecticut. That was three years ago or so. Fortunately, traffic hadn't picked up yet. Thank you stars! I found a nice parking spot  near Chris'. I sent him a text telling him to open, I was outside. We had the usual misunderstanding. He didn't know where I was, and when to open for me, even though I was telling him where I was - outside his apartment. Eventually, he called. I really didn't feel like talking to him on the phone. I picked up and asked him nicely to come to the gate and open it for me. He was like, 'Are you here?' Poor thing genuinely didn't understand what was going on. He never does. I wonder how life is for someone like that? Good thing I will never find out.

Chris opened for me, he didn't even give me a hug, he's a big hugger. There was dog poo on the floor, he told his manager who he introduced me to, who what good reason? I can't tell you! He went all OCD about how I should watch out for the dog poo, he didn't want it on his apartment floor. I'm thinking, why would he think I want it under my shoes? Dang! Just because I didn't become all animated and all like him, he thought  I didn't care. He kept asking me if I heard what he said, I'm like yes, Chris, I'm not deaf, I heard you, please, let's go! Christ! I took my shoes off just before entering his apartment. He thanked me profusely for being so considerate. In my head, I went, shut the fck up! I headed for the kitchen to see what I could take with me. He started with his sht; talking about Brook, you were such a bitch last time you were here, you can't stay here tonight. I was like, boo! Didn't I ask you if I can stay here? "I'm just telling you, you can never stay here again. You are very moody and I cannot have that in my home, you will have to find somewhere else to stay tonight!" I ignored him. I felt my tongue shaking inside my mouth and my heart beating fast, my stomach turning, I was getting pissed! I took a couple of deep breaths and kept going with what I went there for, only faster. He came to the kitchen entrance, stood there and went on and on. It was literally, abuse! I'm sure there's a law against that! I was like,'uxolo!'  (Excuse me, in my mother tongue), he got out of the way but kept yapping!

I made a quick decision to take only my most valuable stuff and leave the rest there, if he wanted to 'donate it to Red Cross', he was free to do so. I needed to save myself! The only way to do it was to get the heck outta there ASAP. I grabbed a few bags, he asked if I needed a hand. I didn't but I told him I did. I told him my ride was waiting for me outside. He asked if it was a man or a woman, black or white. I was like, please close the door, let's go! Like, why is this doo asking me things that nobody ever asks? I led him to my new ride, when we got there, I took out the key and asked, 'how do you like my new car?' "Brook! Wooooowwwwww! It's beautiful! You are rich! Why have you been pretending to be destitute when you know you are rich? This is an expensive car, Brook! Come here! Give me a hug! I'm so proud of you! That's what I like about you, you make things happen. Would you like to stay here tonight? You can stay whenever you like for as long as you want!" Just like, we became best friends! I was like, thanks, I never said I was destitute, you're the one who assumed you were better than me! I accepted the hug, well, not really, I didn't have a choice! He was like, let's go for lunch! I told him I wasn't hungry. He should know now that he knows I'm not destitute that I can afford my own lunch. Clearly all those times, he used to take me to eat and spit all over my food, he thought I couldn't do better. He tried to play nicey nice. I was like, anyway, I gotta go. He told me to call him that night and let him know if I would be going back to his to spend the night. I was like, definitely! It wasn't going to happen but I was trying to keep the conversation short.

I told my friend at the dentist that my 'friend from Vegas' was on her way to the dentist. In case you haven't figured it out, I was my friend from Vegas. I made my way to Hollywood from Chris' in Koreatown. Traffic was crazy on Hollywood Boulevard but I made it. I'm used to driving in (downtown) Johannesburg CBD. I've had my practice. I parked my car in the basement parking and went upstairs, my friend saw me and flipped. It was nice to see the surprise on her face! It was so nice to see her again. She's my people! He daughter soon came out, I love that little girl. She's absolutely gorgeous! My friend was like, 'why don't I drop you off somewhere, maybe the bus stop?' She had told me she has a new car, she's leasing a Honda Ballad. I hadn't seen it yet. I did tell her that I was good ride wise. I told her I wanted to show her something quick before we parted ways. Turns out we were parked near each other. When we got to the basement, I showed them car and was like Voila! Meet my new car! Her daughter was so happy for me! She was like, wow, it's so big! My friend was like, 'Did you win the Jackpot or something?' She said stuff like, Great, it's my birth month and you bought yourself a car. I thought to myself, I'm sorry I didn't buy the car for you but I kinda needed it. I hope that's ok! It became an awkward moment, fast. She came up with ideas of places we can go with our cars that she hasn't been able to go with her car because mine is an SUV and because mine is not a lease, therefore I don't have to worry about mileage. I just said yes. I wasn't about to make a bad moment worse. I just agreed and kept it going. She did say some nice things like when her daughter asked if that's my Christmas gift to myself. I was like, actually, I want to buy myself a bottle of perfume for Christmas haha. My friend was like, you should post this on Facebook and be like, Dynamite comes in small packages. lol. It was funny, she has a wicked sense of humor!

I drove off to my last stop in Koreatown, Ms Peru. She also had no idea I had just bought a car. I found parking next to her building after surrounding it for a while hopping for free parking. I ended up paying for the metre. It was just a dollar per hour. I called her to the street as I was still paying. She told me she was exhausted and she had a friend over. I was like, come on, just a second. She came down. I met her across the street from the car as she came out of her building. She pointed at the car and asked if it were mine. That was interesting considering there were other cars there. I was like, why would you think that? She told me because she knows me, she knows what I'm capable of lol. I was like, guilty! She congratulated me and asked if I bought it for $850. I'm not sure why specifically that amount. I told her, I wish! Could you imagine a car for that amount? Nowadays, you'd be lucky to get a moped for that amount of money. She told me that she was saving to buy herself a car for $850. She wanted to know how much I paid for it. I told her not to worry about that. So far, everyone had asked me how much  I paid for the car, I told them the same thing, not to worry about it. I mean the car was already paid for, it's not like they were going to help a sista out.

My friend got on the driver's seat and was looking around. I asked if everything was ok. She asked where the key was. This btch was about to drive my car just like that! I never saw her drive in my life, she keeps saying she and her husband have a car but nobody has seen it, I've heard him talk about forgetting his bicycle on the bus, so. Plus, I'm just not that person who lets people drive my car. I've never been. Funny because people let me drive their cars all the time and I never say no. That's their prerogative though!

I refused to let my friend drive my car. We went back upstairs, hung out with her nice friend. She told the friend I just bought a car, I showed the friend pictures, the friend was excited for me. My friend asked me to take her where I bought the car, she wanted to see what else they had. I was like, uhm, I'm going back to Vegas! We hung out until late that night. After the friend left, my friend told me about problems they have been having in her marriage. She had never opened up to me like that before. It was kinda refreshing. I hated that she was going through rough patches but she seemed fine. She seemed like she got that! Plus her stories are inconsistent so good luck trying to sympathise and give her advice!

I ended up spending the night in Peru haha, reminds of Paris Hilton's sex tape, One night in Paris. Did yall watch that? The following morning, I took a shower, and as I was about to head out my friend asked if I could drop her at the gym downtown? Uhm, I love you but no! LA Traffic is about to get crazy! I was trying to get out of LA before all that mess. Plus, she sprung that on me last minute. I offered to drop her at the train station. She told me she didn't have money for the train, she needed a ride. I just bought the car the night before, what if I hadn't? How were you going to go to the gym? I gave her cash for a daily pass. I think that was her way of making me pay for staying the night at her house. I mean, it's fine! I had offered to pay, she refused, next thing I know, she was making me pay! By the way, Chris texted the previous night asking what time I was going to be back. I told him I wasn't going to need a place to stay. I really was saying fck off! In my head.

I dropped my friend off at the gas station which happens to be across the street from the train station. I filled up my tank and made my way to Vegas.


  1. Boom!!! In your face Baby!!!! And how's that? People asking you how much you bought your stuff. Insane jealousy!!!

    1. I know, right? Like why are you trying to balance my checkbook right now?

  2. And with no shame whatsoever. I mean really!!! Friends!! You gotta love them

    1. With friends like these, who needs enemies, right?