Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Getting Back into the Dating Scene

Weight loss progress photo
A few weeks into moving into my new place, I started noticing things you only notice when you live somewhere. I won't go over that list now, but something did happen that I had to get immediate attention for. I was in the living room, minding my own business, when I heard what sounded like water drip down the ceiling in the bathroom direction. I freaked out a little, jumped up and headed the direction of the sound! I get there and lo and behold
it is water coming down from the ceiling! I also subsequently heard that the upstairs neighbor was running the shower. I grab a trash can, place it under the leak,  tie my robe belt tight, put on some outside shoes and run upstairs. I knock! And knock! And knock! No answer! I could hear the dog barking, but no response from the person. By the way, it's a no pet building, story for another day! I was about to write a note and shove it under the door, when someone finally came out. Nice lady! She was dressed like I was! In a black robe! I had a white one on. This must have been 3 in the afternoon, but who's counting?

I told her what was going on, not that I expected her to fix it, but you're so shocked that you adrenaline your way through something. Nice lady. Gorgeous too! She was new like I was. She didn't want her apartment to leak any more than I didn't want her dirty shower water in my bathroom. Long story long, management had to get called. It was a holiday, hence everyone being in robes in the middle of the day, not that I'm a 9-5 type person but just sayin! She asked me if she should not take a shower until the problem was taken care of. I didn't know if she was being sarcastic! The leak penetrated inside the ceiling and ended up coming out of a few different spots. Two of those spots were into my bathtub. If you know me, you know I love a bath! I had to wonder how long this had been happening while I was out of the house that I didn't know about; how long had I been soaking in bubble baths full of someone else's scum! The thought of that still makes me skin feel funny.

Maintenance had my list of concerns. This all happened around the same time I was busy dealing with the Airport job people, I had a few things that needed my attention. Around the same time, a dear friend of mine from my Georgia days (Eastern Europe) contacted me. She was going to have a few days off and thought to check out LA as she had never been. She's very well traveled and does a lot of spur of the moment trips. This wasn't that spur of the moment, by her standards, so, she wasn't quite certain whether she was going to do it or not. I think she's so used to making a final decision last minute, that planning didn't come naturally to her. That's neither here nor there. I was excited by the idea. Nothing was finalized yet, I was going to hear back from her. As time went on, I looked at my life; someone who just got back from Africa for the first time in forever, still dealing with the aftermath of that. Someone who is also dealing with just moving into a new place, couple issues with that, separation, job search, it was a lot! I didn't think entertaining was what I wanted to be doing at the time. She was going to stay with me and I was going to be her tour guide. It was kind of a lot for me. She's very independent as well, so, I knew she would've been flexible, but still. It's your guest! I politely told her that I didn't think the timing was OK for me for that trip. I could tell she was deflated. It's the last thing I wanted to make anyone feel. This was last year and we haven't had a conversation since.

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Do you realize that This is the second friend out of my life around the same period? See previous post! This kind of thing will happen, when it's the season for change. Notice all the changes in my life around that time!

Speaking of changes, and people making room for others... exactly a year after my break up with hubby, I decided to sign up with a dating site and put myself out there again. You know my history with online dating! Remember Spotty from Utah? I found myself relentlessly thinking about him. I even looked him up on Facebook, we may be Facebook friends. Last time I thought about this man out of the blue, this is what happened! Now, we're thinking of him again. Oh gosh! Spotty has strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, 6ft tall and skinny. I remember thinking to myself as I joined the dating site, that I didn't know if I was really ready for a relationship. Maybe something long distance will do, to get my feet wet. Maybe with someone from freaking, Ohio, I thought. Having never been there, it sounded like a random enough state.

Cut to the following week or so, I get a message from a guy on the site. He sent me something along the lines of, I see that you're all the way in LA and aren't willing to relocate, neither am I. Ohio is no place for an LA girl anyway, but I wanted to tell you that I stopped by your profile and I think you're beautiful. Ugh! My heart melted! I thanked him very much. He messaged back that he just went over my profile again and noticed from the languages I speak that I must be from South Africa. The fact that I was an immigrant made me that much more appealing to him because he was one too, he told me. He was from Europe. He spoke a language similar to one of ours back home, so I tested him by asking him to write me something, no Google Translate! I told him. He messaged me, I was able to understand, so I replied in African language, we did a little back and forth; it was exciting. He told me, he needed to get to know me. I obliged.

Days in, I realized how he was 6ft tall, with blue eyes, skinny with strawberry blonde hair. Wow! It was a reincarnation of our beloved Spotty! Was this a good thing; not really! Considering how things ended with him. I manifested the fck out of this guy though, from all those thoughts of Spotty! Oh and The guy lives in Ohio! Manifested that too! This was a very interesting period in my life! A lot of things I'd think of would happen, just like that!

We'll call this guy Martin. Martin and I exchanged a few emails on the site, then phone numbers, I gave him my 'other number' as you do! We kept talking, ended up giving him my main number, we talked over the phone, facetimed. Do that very early on after you give someone your phone number, if you're able to. It can be any video call, it doesn't have to be facetime. But do it, so that you can make sure the person you're talking to is the person in the photos. Don't waste your time chasing a fantasy, ain't nobody got time for that! He facetimed me during his lunch break and boy, oh boy, was the guy handsome! Call me vain but I didn't take him seriously until I saw that face! We facetimed often. He wanted to know about my previous relationship and didn't like that I had taken an entire year off after my marriage. He told me that he wanted me in his life on a more permanent basis but wanted to make sure that he wasn't a rebound. He went on to ask me to have a fling with someone else before he and I met, so I could get that out of my system. I thought that was a very interesting concept. He told me he was European, they're different like that! Mh kay!

I told him a little bit about some of the dysfunctions of my marriage , he was finishing my sentenced. I was like how are you so well versed in this type of personality? He told me that he was in a relationship with one before, he took time to study them, and knows about the entire spectrum. It was different! Nothing I really wanted to connect with someone over. He seemed to want to talk more about these personalities. Maybe he was excited to meet someone he had that in common with. I wasn't. We talked often. We spent evenings on facetime together, listening to music. He always had music on in his house, even when he got home from work for lunch. He would call me, and I would hear the music as he entered the house. He never turned it off. Is that normal for people out in these streets or no? It doesn't bother me but it was something I had never experienced before. He would make himself a drink and change into something comfortable, have me on video while he ran around the house. I knew the house as if I had been there. He even took me to the basement, which he had turned into a club house, with the disco ball and disco lights and everything. Very interesting character. Hilarious too. I laughed A LOT!

Weeks into our chats, he told me that he wanted to see me. In fact, he wanted to marry me. I was like yeah, nah, dude! I just got out of that situation, we ain't doing that anytime soon again. If at all! He had been married before. For much longer than I. He wanted me to move in with him. I told him that we had already established that I wasn't moving, so! I was intrigued and did want to meet him in person. I didn't know if the whole thing would turn into anything and how but I wanted to go to Ohio and add that to the list of states I'd been to. He wanted me to visit for a few weeks. I told him that that was too long for a first time visit. How bout one week. All these conversations are taking place over time, obviously. This is not one long conversation. He was getting out of a situation with a girl who had four kids that he lived with. The story is that he kicked the girl out and even begged her friend to take her in and start dating her. He did and they were planning to get married at this point.  I thought that was an interesting story. Did I believe it? I am not a big believer of a lot of things, so. Especially something as far fetched.

We would spend weekends on Skype, with the computers facing whatever area of the rooms we were doing whatever in, and talk if we happen to be crossing paths at the same time. It was a fun experience. It really felt like we weren't thousands of miles and three time zones apart. Have you done something like this? Let me know in the comments section.

My divorce became final, I got some strange paperwork in the mail to that effect.

Around the time of talking to Martin, I was on liquid diet. Not full liquids, lots of smoothies. It was more of a raw food diet, I guess.

Speaking of food! Press play for food log video

Some of what I had during that period...
Groceries for the week
Delicious green smoothie
It's not always easy to switch things up on a diet, but once you get into the swing of things, aren't you glad you did?

Press play for weight loss update video

I had a random situation take place. Even though it was summer, my apartment was colder inside than the weather was out, so I still used my hot water bottle to keep my feet warm. Until this happened! 

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I wasn't just doing one job, I had several, I even looked into driving for the ride shares. Not really wanting to deal with people, I opted for food delivery, and this is how that went...


And here...

Caviar. Press play
I wanna say, oh, the life of a single woman! But, I think this is just life in general. You do what you need to to get to the next stage of it.Right?

I do have  a sarong on in this pic, just so you know!

I was talking to a cute guy, he would put me on video while he leaves his house for work until he got there. Or when he left his house to go pick up his child for his day with them. I knew all the routes and even met said child over the phone one day. I felt like I was a part of something. It felt nice. Martin included me in everything he did. I still had my own life, gigs and stuff, but I wasn't doing it alone. I had a partner, in a way.

In my own clothes for a tv shoot
I was losing weight and felt great! '

In my fave part of my place: The dressing room

A lot of my photos have this background because that's where the full length mirror that I visualized and manifested was, folks!

Self care and house care

Self care with products that were a gift from my ex hubby, Calvin. Thanks boo! And an amazing vacuum cleaner I got from The Doctors TV Show. The universe always provides. Just look around and give thanks!

Tried on some clothes to check progress
The jeans were part of my eBay store.
Still haven't actually worn this dress in public

I ate some weird food and filmed eat. Tell me, what's the weirdest food combination you've ever had?

Avocado with peanut butter. Press Play

You know me, I don't shy away from the new and strange, so, of course, I tried this combo!

One night, during a long ass phone call with Martin, some dancing on Facetime to his music, he asked me to pay him a visit. I didn't say no! He sent me a picture of his bank card and told me to book the ticket. I didn't think that was a good idea.Not the buying part but sending a stranger a photo of your bank card. I wouldn't do anything funny but someone else might, if he ever did that again. Any who, somewhere down the line, he offered to book the ticket himself. I was like, hold on, this is all happening too fast. It was the middle of the night, had been a long call. I wanted to regroup. During thee week, when everyone was sober, he asked for my full name and whatever other details he might need to book me the ticket. 

Stay tuned for the rest of this and other stories. Thanks for reading. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Red. It's beginning to look a lot like XMas

@BabalwaBrook on all social media
and my mailing address if you wanna write me...
P. O. Box 4502
United States

PS: When I was burning my place down!

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