Thursday, March 26, 2020

He Sucked My Toes!

Why am I bringing up that my internet boyfriend, Martin had cameras in his house, you ask! Well! Because as he prepped a yoga class on the Wii Nintendo to keep me occupied while he was out on a date with another woman with his son; I noticed that the pad that I was standing on was placed right in line of sight of a camera. Coincidence?
I don't know! I had such a funny feeling when I noticed the camera in the midst of my yoga session. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. Either he was able to see what I was doing from wherever he was, or he was going to tap into it and catch up on the day's events later. Well, why didn't you ask her, Brook? Because! Friends! Your gut feeling is more telling of life situations than anyone will ever tell you with their mouths. I'm not saying my gut told me I was being filmed. But it definitely told me that Martin was not a man to be trusted. You can confront someone until you're blue in the face and stay in weird relationships based on lies people tell you, or you can trust your gut and go with that. Look at what happened when I confronted him about the night he spent in the hotel! Do you believe his story? I didn't! Luckily, my trusted gut had already told me what time it was.

Speaking of cheating sons of guns! During my time in Ohio, with Martin, I was siting in the back porch, enjoying the view, when all of a sudden, I heard voices. VOICES! Why am I hearing voices when it's just he and I and I am not speaking?
Woman - What are you doing?
Martin - Just hanging out
Woman - Who are you here with?
Martin - A friend

My heart skipped a bit when I heard the woman's voice but my stomach turned when I heard him refer to me as a friend. Really, Marty! That's what we are nowadays? Just friends? I'm not saying, introduce me to the parents but you're much more serious about me when we're talking to each other. So serious that I have to tell you to tone it down a little. But ok! Noted! The woman didn't stay. She did want to go inside and meet the friend but he refused. Here's my take on the whole thing: He orchestrated the woman's dropping by. It was in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day. He normally works that time. How did she know he was at home? Because HE told her! Who was this woman, anyway? The woman, dear brethren, was his ex-girlfriend. A woman from out of state who met him just like I did; online. Allegedly, she and her 3 kids moved in with him straight from wherever she was living before. Things didn't work out, someone got arrested, someone was on probation. Someone hooked up someone with someone else and told that someone else to marry someone. So now someone is engaged to another man. KEY: One of these someone's is the ex-girlfriend. This is Martin's version, so I won't go into detail because who really knows what happened? He would send me screenshots of his conversations with this woman where he would be texting him that he wanted to cheat on his now fiance with Martin cos he's so good at this and that (insert gory details). Like, why do I need to know this, other than to inflate Martin's ego?

Speaking of sucking: Because he's 'so good in bed', Martin had heard this over and over again from women, and I got to hear about it from him. One evening, he was in the back porch, chatting with other women online playing Candy Crush, I was in bed, watching the telly. He came inside, got on the bad and we fooled around. Mhhh! Yeah, dzaddy! Next thing I know, I am being slapped around, in random places I didn't know were slappable. Mhhh kay! I see ya! Martin is in the bottom of the bed, I'm in the top. Spoiler alert: This is not a sex scene, so, don't worry! Next thing: He was really focusing on my feet. I thought wow! This is not something I'm super used to, but let's see. I was still getting slapped around, in a playful way, obviously, then I felt my big toe feeling rather warm...... He was sucking my toes! I was like wow, this guy is really committed to this! First, the spanking, now, the sucking! I'm here for it! Why not? What else you got dzaddy?

Are you into feet? Comment in the comment section, I'd like to know what you think about this.

I had a friend during this time. We had met at one of my temp jobs. Great girl! We'd talk for hours over the phone. One evening, I just was feeling so flustered. Overwhelmed with Ohio, Martin and everything. I grabbed my cell phone and did my favorite thing ever in the world when I don't like what's going on; I went for a walk! Ask, Calvin, my ex husband! I will walk, or go for a drive. Like the night I ended up sleeping in my car in the streets of Los Angeles. I'm just not good in suffocating myself in awkwardness. The word claustrophobic comes to mind. Talking is good, but it also depends on who you are dealing with. I can talk things out but once you see that that doesn't yield decent results, something's gotta give! Or should I say, something's gotta walk? I had a mini skirt on, and my Ivanka Trump Flip Flops. Not the ideal walking outfit. That's how you know, this was walking in duress. At this point, I was very familiar with the neighborhood. I went up my internet lover's street, then turned left. Lo and be-f*cking hold, before I even completed my left turn, here comes this bird! Must have been a goose or a duck or what the f*ever man! (I don't think it was a duck cos ducks are found in water, no?) This thing comes out of no f*cking where and guns for me! What? What'd I do? It starts to cross the street! I'm thinking, you gotta be fcking kidding me, dude! Where u off to? Like, I have a skirt on! Do these things bite? Are my legs safe? Not my beautiful legs! At this point, I was already on the phone with above-mentioned friend. She must've thought, here goes Brook again, being Brook, when I told here I was being chased by a bird! I get goose bumps just thinking about this. It was not funny at all! Very creepy incident! This thing successfully crossed the street towards me! I was walking really fast at this point. It was crossing aiming at me, nowhere else but ME! It was evening time, dark-ish out. Nobody else in the street but this bird and myself. What the actual f*ck is going on, yall?!?!?!?!

I had called my friend to update her on the Ohio state of affairs, now, I keep telling her to hold on, I am trying to dodge a big bird! It was such a weird thing to experience! Have you ever been in such a situation? I didn't even intimidate this bird, I was across the street! Anyway, we're both on the same side of the road now, the bird is chasing me on the shoulder (pavement). I'm holding onto the phone and running in flip flops. People must've been like, who's this black girl? There were no black people in that neighborhood. None that I saw while I was there, at least. They must've also suspected I was a prostitute, considering my outfit. What do I know! Now, I'm involved in this weird scene, jogging with a bird. Is it my pet bird? Am I raising it to believe it's a dog, like, I'm tryna imagine what I would think it I saw something like this in my neighborhood. unless, of course this was something the birds were known for! A car approached. Thank goodness! I run towards the middle of the road and wait for the car to get closer. It does. I quickly cross, so that the car separates this nightmare and I. The driver slams her breaks when she sees that I wasn't alone. Ugghhhh you all! I can't with this story! Goosebumps everywhere right now! Car almost hit the bird. At this point, sorry PETA but I didn't care if that had happened. It wasn't my intention but I was not feeling OK with this situation. I didn't know what would've happened had the bird caught up with me but I wasn't trying to find out. As soon as the car passed, I crossed the street right back and headed back for Martin's house.

He seemed concerned that I had gone on this random walk dressed like I was. Which was nice but can we talk about what just happened? He couldn't stop laughing at my bird experience. Very Alfred Hitchcock! If you've seen the old movie, The Birds.

My time in Ohio came to a long awaited end. I had taken some gifts for Martin that I gave to him while I was there. I didn't give him everything because after meeting him, I didn't think he deserved everything. But he did fly me to Ohio and host me, so he deserved something. Anybody would have! I had mentioned that I had brought him something pink. That was one of the things I had changed my mind about.

My flight was early in the morning. Not as early as my arrival but still early. Martin dropped me off, which I appreciated, he could've let my ass Uber there! Especially after finding out, probably while he was licking my feet that I had nail polish on my toes. He had made it very clear time and time again that he was not into women who painted their nails, finger or toenails. He said, maybe clear nail polish in the toes, otherwise NO. This wasn't something we agreed upon. If you know me, you know I worship nail polish. I have my nail color of the week post on social media, it's a movement. Also, it's just such a ridiculous thing to be a red flag, in my humble opinion. How about cheating? Why don't let that be a red flag instead, kind Sir? Martin had told me that if he saw that I had painted my nails, he would let me stay for the week but would never talk to me again. I had silver toe nails as my neutral color compromise and clear-ish fingernails. We ever talked about the nails in person.

He dropped me off at the airport and gave me what felt like a forced kiss. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized the whole ordeal was over. Checked in and got the entire row of 3 seats to myself, the row in the middle was also empty. It was great! I watched some RomComs (romance + comedy movies) and went to sleep. Good Bye, how you doing, LA? Mama is back!

As soon as I landed, I got right back on the saddle. Read: Dating site! Clearly, that chapter of my life was signed, sealed, delivered; I'm NOT yours!

Someone wanted to meet up in person...

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