Saturday, March 14, 2020

My Week With Internet Boyfriend

It's my first time in Ohio  and my very first time meeting this guy in person. Something about this experience reminds me of when I moved in with a guy I had never met in person in the middle of the night. Click here for that story if you don't know about Perry.
I'm holding onto my suitcase and searching for Martin with my eyes. Searching and searching! Next thing I know
he has been staring at me the whole time! He was standing right there at the bottom of the escalator! Oh sht! Hopefully, I didn't do anything weird while he was looking, like pick my nose or pull my shorts from inside my butt or something! He hollered something. I couldn't tell you what, but it got my attention. Right there, in that instant, our eyes met and something I cannot explain in words happened. Or didn't happen! It was nothing like I expected! We had a lot of chemistry throughout all the weeks that we had been talking, we facetimed daily and it was great but for some reason, when we met, something that I felt like should be there, wasn't. Does that make sense?

I ran towards him and gave him a hug and a kiss. It was like hugging and kissing a random, complete stranger. I was excited, I didn't expect the trip to go bad, but I wasn't feeling something! He had a maroon t-shirt on and blue Levi's jeans. He's very proud of his butt. He says he always gets compliments on his butt and his haircut. He has a European soccer player - haircut. I mean, he does! He seemed shorter in person and skinnier. He seemed, overall, littler in person. (Wow! The computer didn't underline littler. Doesn't that mean it's a real word? I was just being goofy). He grabbed my suitcase and led me to the parking lot where we got into his clean truck. I had been in that truck so many times with him on facetime that it was kinda deja vu-esque. It was still very early in the morning, around 5, so super dark out.

We left Columbus Airport for his place. About a 20 minute drive, maybe even less. We took the streets, so lots of houses. It was dark but the areas we drove through seemed decent. We arrived on his street; lots of trees! He's in what looks like a private street in that, it's short and ends with a cul-de-sac. Like, if you go in there, where else could you be going? We pulled up in front of his house. It looked nothing like I thought it would. This is not a bad thing, nor good. Just a thing! I'd seen the house and even have photos of it, I guess, in my head, all along, I thought the back was the front, etc. We get inside and it looked smaller in person. No pun intended! I saw the notorious living room, that he's always hanging out in when we talk. It turns into a club on Friday nights, when he drinks and we dance to his music on either side of the phones. "I can't believe I'm here!" I uttered.

I asked for the house tour, as if I'd never 'been' there. Three bedrooms, but he only showed me two, that I recall. The other one was closed, he told me I didn't want to see that one. Mh kay! He didn't take me to the basement either. That is the real club with the disco ball in the ceiling and everything. I saw it on facetime, but he told me he didn't get to make it Brook ready, so!

We went into the bedroom where I put my stuff and got comfortable. It was still super early, he wanted to go to the store. We hung out a bit until the store was opened and he took us to Aldi. Aldi so happens to be my fave grocery store back in LA, so to see that he likes it as well, was kinda nice. He brought the quarter for the cart and his own shopping bags. You need to do that at Aldi. I enjoyed the drive the the store. It was short but the vibe was beginning to relax a bit. I am not someone who needs time to adapt around strangers and all that, so I don't think that that was the case when we were meeting at the airport. He asked me what I needed from the store. I thought that that was nice. I grabbed Kefir and probably one or two things. He drinks bottled water, so we bought a bunch of that and pretty much food for dinner.  Kinda reminded me of my ex. When he goes grocery shopping, it's usually for the next meal. I find that interesting, cos I stock up for the week. At least! He had never had Kefir before, so I had him try it and he liked it. Score!

Apparently, his regular fridge was off sick, so he was using a mini one and that was one of the reasons he only bought food for the day. We got back to the house and it was chilling time! I was getting more and more excited to be on vacation!

He made breakfast. Great cook! Pretty much all the men I've dated in America are great cooks. I'm one lucky girl!

He hooked me up to his Wi-Fi, which is not password protected. I found that to be very interesting! He also doesn't lock his car, which is parked out front. The house is not fenced and he doesn't lock the house doors. How crazy is that sht? My South Africans, can you imagine that? Reminds me of my time in Georgia, Eastern Europe, where people would leave open handbags and designer sunglasses on the dashboard of a possibly unlocked car. I was like, man! This is the life right here!

We watched some movies at home while I was there. I also caught up on some of my reality shows. He watched, probably more than me, cos I have this tendency to fall asleep while watching TV! Day or night, haha!

One of my favorite things we did on day one was go for a walk to the river. It's a giant river that covers tens of miles. Beautiful views! Martin wanted us to sit on the swinging bench and just hang out. Unfortunately, it was broken. But I loved being out there. He knew I love my walks, so he incorporated walks almost daily while I was there. I really appreciated that.

We drove around, sight seeing as well. He took me past his job and I got to see it in person, vs on Facetime. We went to most of the places he goes to on a regular basis that I've seen on Facetime.

During one of our walks, we were in the woods. I don't recommend going to the woods with someone you don't know! He had a stick in his hand. I thought nothing of it, cos people will carry up to two sticks when hiking. We would hold hands, not hold hands, you know? The usual thing when lovers are walking. Whenever our hands bumped into each other, we would end up holding hands. Or maybe we didn't, I am just used to that from previous experiences? Or maybe it's just me? Because, this mad got pissed! He was like, STOP! In a very stern, I'm sick of you taking advantage of me, this has gotta STOP and it stops now, or else voice. I was shocked and his overreaction but tried not to show it, cos we're in his turf and I'm just a guest here. And I don't know this foo! I kinda wanted to address it but I wasn't trying to build a future with this man, so, who cares! It just became another nail in the coffin.

Luckily, things went back to normal, almost immediately after the STOPation. From his stories about his exes, there's a lot of volatility and drama in his environment. According to him, he has been unlucky to end up with combative women. The thing about that is that when you tell people about your relationships with other people. And the people you are telling are entering into a relationship with you, they may start looking at you suspiciously. Trying to see what part you may have played in the dramatic experiences you speak of. Feel me?

He plays Candy Crush. A lot. But that's OK. One time, I saw him on what looked like a dating site. As soon as I caught a glimpse of that, he put the phone down, face down. I saw a blue and red interface. I wanna say OKCupid or some other dating site. I'm very well versed in online dating, so, good luck fooling me! I didn't confront him about this. I just thought it was rude. I'm only here for a week. You couldn't wait a week?

We ate a lot of delicious food in the week I was at Martin's. He cooked, at least twice a day for both of us. Sometimes, two meals, low carbs for me, and carbs for him. Very thoughtful.

He had promised to take me to Columbus and to the movies with his son and and and. We did go to Columbus. The vibe I was picking up was that he wasn't up for it. He told me something about his car being kinda sick and some leakage and this and that and blah blah blah bull sh*t. Like, dude! You're not gonna have me fly all the way across three time zones, to keep me locked up in the house! He tried to tell me 'but you're a homebody, like me!' Yeah, I am a homebody but not on vacation! Plus, you made a promise, you cheap cheat!

Speaking of cheap. He had promised to take me out for dinner. At least one lousy dinner in the entire week I was there! I asked him when that was going to be, cos I could tell, he was totally Ok just sitting in the house playing candy crush and browsing dating sites as if he didn't have a house-guest. One of my walks, I spotted a Mexican restaurant down the street from his house. I suggested he took me there. He agreed. Ugh! This part is exhausting just thinking about it! OK, so, when I brought up the going out part, he had taken out a bunch of coupons and told me to choose a place, pretty much based on the restaurants he had coupons for. Can you say TURN OFF? It was a lot of pizza places and burger places. I ended up picking the Mexican spot randomly, so I didn't know if he had vouchers for that or not. I didn't care.

We cleaned up and drove down the street to a place I walked all the way past and back in the morning, haha. Interesting! But I kinda get why we drove there!
They know him there. This guy orders his dinners out nightly, from my knowing him. I was surprised that all of a sudden, he did not eat out at all the time I was there. I had never seen him cook in all the many weeks I had been talking to him. These are some of the things that were nagging me in the back of my head my time there. It kept feeling like I still hadn't met the guy I had talked to, if that makes sense. The restaurant was nice inside. When It was time to order, I sorta wanted to ask what the budget was. There was just an uneasiness in the air, you know? I let him order first, in order to be able to gauge what was going on. He seemed to order what he wanted, regardless of price.

He was seated across from me at the table and I found it very hard to make eye contact with him. That is so unlike me! I'm very good with eye contact. I know someone who once told me I was making him uncomfortable by how much I was looking him in the eye when we talked. He turned out to be three faced, so it all added up, eventually! This Martin! I don't know what it was but most experiences with him felt like, it was a different stranger every time! I ordered something I may have eaten before with Calvin, ex hubs. Ex hubs and I ate out a lot! And in! We are both foodies, as some of you may know, so we've pretty much eaten most cuisines.

Food came, we ate, I tried to make eye contact, we tried to have conversation. If this were a movie, there would be a point where someone would say, 'look, this is not working, I don't want to waste anymore of your time' and the other person would agree, and sigh from relief. But I had to wait for my flight date. Came time for the bill. I did something I don't do. I asked if he wanted me to pay half. I never do that! I am not even the girl that pretends like she's reaching for her wallet, on a date. Unless I am treating, in which case, I just pay, and I usually date people who want to pay, so when I offer, it becomes a whole production. This dude, over here, Martin, is like, 'sure! you can pay if you want'. I'm like, 'if I want'? He says, I'm not gonna stop you! I thought to myself, how many more nails can this coffin take cos, here's another one! I put my wallet back in my purse. Fck this guy! Do you know that this person, took out a coupon from his shirt pocket! The coupon was for 50% off of our meal. Which means, if I had paid, I would have paid for my meal and his would've been free. Can you believe how tacky that sh*t is?

First of all, never in my life had I have a guy pay for out first official date with a coupon. Let alone try to have me pay for the whole meal while he freewheels his way through life with a coupon. Wow! Welcome to Ohio, Brook! (Sidebar: I'm in Ohio right now as I update this blog!). The food was nice, the vibe was weird, we took some left overs home and he made a delicious situation with them the following day. He really spoiled me when it comes to cooking for me daily. I appreciate that!

I cleaned his kitchen. I tell ya, just about every man whose house I've been to, I've cleaned their houses. Do I love house cleaning? Heck naw! But the houses usually need it. I do it for me, more than I do it for them. Ex Husband's house was the cleanest of all the guys I've dated in The States. Maybe that's why he ended up being husband. I did all the cleaning once I moved in, but when we met, his house looked well taken of. Unless he cleaned it to impress me, which I can appreciate. Martin did do a lot of cleaning before my arrival, clearly more needed to be done. Martin did get motivated to empty his cupboards and clean the insides while I was doing the surfaces. It was nice that we were working as a team.

We played games. He has a Wii Nintendo, he had pre-planned games we would play together when I got there. It was something different for me, and I enjoyed it. Once or twice, I thought he may have wanted to punch me, but what's a little fear between strangers, right? I won all the games, haha. Beginner's luck. We also played outside in the backyard. He has a giant backyard. We played Frisbee out there. Fun! We enjoyed evenings on the back porch. Starry, starry nights! Very romanticle! He would ask me if I could see myself living there. We had had that conversation before. I thought we were of the understanding that that was not an option. Maybe he thought I would change my mind once he impresses me with his extreme couponing and glimpses of anger issues.

Wendy's, the fast food restaurant chain's headquarters are in Ohio, we drove by there and I took pictures. They came out nice! They're on my social media if you follow me @BabalwaBrook. I will do a picture blog one of these days but for now, I just want to touch base with you cos it's been a minute.
Martin took me to some beautiful places, where I asked him to take pictures of me. He would sometimes sneak in when I take selfies. I have this tendency of not taking photos of people or with people because it's such a selfie culture that sometimes you don't know who wants to be in the photo and who doesn't. AND I am not one to post other people's pics on my social media. Some people take that personally, but I reckon, it's better not to post than post and then go back and remove them in the future. Not that that's always gonna happen but prevention is better than cure. Wouldn't you agree?

I ask you questions as if we're conversing, because in my head we are and I would really appreciate it if you would answer here on the blog. A lot of you do respond / comment on my blogs but it's on other media like whatsapp, Facebook, text etc. Inasmuch as I love hearing from you on those media, please try and comment here on the blog. Thanks.

The weekend came, and Martin was gonna have his son. He has his son once a week. Remember, the plan was movies with him and his son? I'd already met his son on facetime. His son told him he loves me. Martin's response was something along the lines of, 'No you can't have her! You always want to steal my girlfriends!' I cringed! 

Martin prepared yoga on the Wii for me, while he got ready and dressed up in new clothes and did his hair really nicely to go pick up his son. He really looked like he was going on a date! He looked like he did when he was going to hang out with his friend - where I ended up catching him spending the night in a hotel! Just saying! Check out previous post for that story!
I thought to myself, mhh! I guess we're no longer all going together to the movies. He left me in the house and was gone for what felt like forever.

Did I tell you, Martin works in IT and he has cameras inside the house?


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