Welcome To San Francisco!

I left the house without telling Brian, my new airbnb guest that I was going to be out of town and how long for. He had my number, he could reach me on my cell or via email on airbnb.

It was 03:00, I had just arrived in a city I had never been to in my life before. I didn't know anyone there. It was dark and cold. It was freezing! There was a bunch of people who got off at the station with me. I say station but it was more of on the sidewalk, next to the station because the station was closed. They were going to open hours later. I called my sister and told her where I was. She couldn't believe it! You know me, I never tell a soul what I'm planning until it comes to fruition. It was nice to surprise my sister like that. We talked for more than an hour on the phone about all kinds of stuff. It was nice. It seemed like he was right there with me. It may have been our first Facebook call, actually. It was nice and clear. Thanks Mark Zuckerberg.

The people who had got off the bus with me, took the bus while I was in the middle of a conversation with my sister. I was curious to know where they were going because they had told me they needed to take the train when the station was open. Now where are yall going? Not too long thereafter, they all got off the same bus. They told me that they went around town with the bus, full circle until it came back to the first stop. I thought that was a good idea, but what was going to be a better idea for me, was going to be to go to the hostel and see if someone would let me check in early. Surely, people have landed earlier than their check in time from whichever part of the world they would've come from? I took a chance and called the hostel. Someone picked up, thank goodness! They told me I could always sit in their waiting area until my bed is ready. I truly appreciated that. I hopped on the bus and made my way to Amsterdam Hostel, don't ask! (about the name). I got off the bus, dragged my suitcase up the hill to the hostel, took the stairs and checked myself in!

There was a friendly but quiet guy at reception, who gave me the key to the storage room for my luggage and let me use the shower if need be. That was awesome! Talk about customer service! Some people will make you pay extra for all that before your check in time! I think! I gladly took him up on his offer. It was cold outside, needed to take that shower to thaw out (defrost). I took my time in there too, when I found out that that wasn't the only bathroom. After my shower, I layered up and headed out. I wasn't going to sit in no waiting area and watch time pass me by. I'm on vacation goddamnit! Let's go! I walked around the blocks next to the hostel, took a few pictures, then headed to the bus stop. I met a nice lady at the bus stop and told her I wanted to go to the beach. I hadn't been to the beach since before Las Vegas. I definitely hadn't been to the beach in 2015 yet. It was time! The lady didn't seem quite certain which way to go. There are so many means of transportation in San Fran too, buses, trains, trams, this, that, the other. It's so beautiful out there, if you haven't been and can make it, do yourself the favor! You won't regret it! It somehow reminds me of Cape Town in a way. Chris, the crazy guy from South Africa, had mentioned that a long time ago as well. If you're been to Cape Town and loved it, which, to know Cape Town is to love it, you will love San Francisco.

I got off randomly from the first bus and waited for another one. I was making my way to Fisherman's wharf. I had a list of places I wanted to see while in San Fran. I don't care about eating here and eating there, if you're my Facebook friend (Babalwa Brook) or follow me on Instagram (thelovelybrook), you may not believe that, what will all the exotic food pictures I post; but I am more interested in sightseeing. I want to see all there is to see. I will try a meal or two from that place but most of all, I need to be to as many locations as possible. That's my thing. Next time I talk to someone about a certain area, I want to know that area. If that makes sense. What about you?

I finally made my way to Fisherman's Wharf. By then the sun was coming out. It was still very early, remember? I walked up and down the street malls on the way to the Wharf. There were many very touristy stores with souvenirs, t-shirts with very funny sayings. It was a good time! People ride bicycles a lot in San Francisco! I mean, coming from LA, that shouldn't surprise me,but San Fran takes things to the next level. Everyone has good legs over there. It must be all that cycling! I felt envious. I really need to learn to ride a bicycle, and to swim, and to roller skate, and and and. New year's resolutions anyone?

I finally made it to Fisherman's wharf! I was ready to eat by then. There were lines and lines of people waiting to be served by the stalls. I decided to go into the museum first and walk along the wharf, take pictures and take it all in! I could see Alcatraz island which hosts the notorious Alcatraz Prison from the wharf. When you come from where I come from, Uitenhage, Eastern Cape, South Africa, and you're in such close proximity to such places, it blows you away. You really have to take a moment and catch your breath because you grow up not thinking it will every happen. You didn't even wish for it because it's not in your realm of possibility until you wake up one day and it's 3am and you're in San Francisco. It's quite something, I tell ya! I don't ever want to get used to it. To take the opportunities that have come my way for granted.

After goofing around, taking pictures of things, selfies and having friendly strangers take pictures of me, or posing for a picture for a stranger to take with his camera, (that did happen), I called one of my sisters. I had told her about the prophet, I forgot all about it. She didn't! she is very health conscious, she goes to the gym 9 days a week, that sort of thing! I had to tell her about all the cycling I was seeing around me. That excited her, but really, she wanted to hear about the men! If I thought I was going to meet someone there according to the Prophet. By the way, the prophet didn't even say I was going to meet someone there, he said to consider living there. I think, I can't even remember. When I told my sister, that I have never seen so many tall men with long her and nice bodies in my life in one place, she told me that as soon as I met my man, in San Fran, she was going to take the next flight out. She apologised for not coming to see me in LA, lol, she already knew that that was going to happen. She just wanted to go straight to SFB, get her man and start their happily ever after. I told her they could come see me together afterwards lol. It was fun!

After Firsherman's wharf, I was still walking around, I think I was on my way to little Italy. I got stopped by a lady who worked in a massage type place. She wanted to demonstrate their products to me. I got on the water massage bed, we did that. It was fun, ten minutes of fun, then we did oxygen stuff, head massage and all kinds of things. I wanted everything but I wasn't willing to pay hundreds to thousands for them. They told me they didn't have a website, I had to buy from them, there and then. Uhm, no! I just got here, I'm on vacation, give me a break. I dropped a couple of dollars in their tip jar and headed on my merry way.

I got to pose with the wax statue of Beyonce at Madame Tussauds. That was fun!

By the time the afternoon hit, I was crashing! My energy levels were going down, you could tell I had been up all day.

I saw my favorite store while wandering about and made a pit stop.I got me a pair of animal print Converse Chuck Taylors, ankle boots. I love me some boots! I have one other pair of Chucks, they are also boots with tinsel, glittering every so slightly. I am not a sneaker type of person, but I will get myself a pair or two unique ones, for fun. Why not? I also got a pair of Knew High Doctor Martens. That was a great find!  I had always wanted a pair. This one had a double cherry on top! It was those thick soled ones, that will last you forever. Granted, I have had them for six months and have yet to wear them...bottom line is, I wanted them and now I have them.

I went back to the hostel early, to check in and get settled. Not before, having lunch by the wharf stalls. I had Clam chowder in a bread bowl. That was a lot of deliciousness in a lot of bread! Everyone was chatting and having fun in lines. Fun times! One big happy family! I sat on the benches out there while eating and fed some of my bread to the pigeons. There are so many of them and they demand that you feed them. Like, if you don't hold on to your food tightly, they will grab it off your hand. Be warned!
That lunch lasted me all day, it was very filling.

I met a nice Chinese lady in our room, she lives in Arizona. Beautiful as can be, with personality to boot!  My kind of people! The personality part! As we were chatting, two girls came in, one of them,,, I thought was a boy, but no she wasn't. They were only the nicest two girls who could walk into that room! Both from Korea, but one lives in Japan. We bonded over Traveling, as people in hostels always do, shopping, because everyone wanted my Doc Martens, but it was the only pair they had in the store, and San Francisco.

Now What?

On the first day of Ramadan, my new airbnb guest came by. He arrived within an hour of booking. Fortunately for him, I was home. I did wonder a little if he wasn't hiding from someone. He asked me if he could stay there, as soon as I agreed, he asked if he could be here in 30 minutes, I agreed. 30 minutes later, he called to say he was outside. Boom!

I went out to meet him, he had one big bag and a backpack. Good looking young man! He's from New York but goes to school in Santa Monica and works as a waiter when not in school. We sat in the living room for a bit and got to know each other. I hoped and prayed it wouldn't last 6 hours like it did with our old friend, Jen.Brian seemed like a sweet, respectful guy. He talked to me about his religion, he's Muslim. It was Ramadan, he told me he was about to start fasting.I had no issues with that. It didn't affect me one bit. He also told me about the previous living situation he had just come out of. He lived in a two bedroom apartment with plenty other people. In the main bedroom, was the main couple, then everyone else was in the other bedroom and in the living room. When I gave him the key to the apartment, he suggested we just don't lock like they did in his previous airbnb.I was like, yeah, No!

Brian went on to tell me that he had lived with the previous folks for six months. Things went well, until, they didn't. The man of the house suddenly took a disliking to him and would pick on him. He told me that he didn't know where all that came from. He would still be respectful towards that guy but it wouldn't work. In the end, the guy kicked him out of the apartment. Kicked him so hard that he rolled down the stairs. This is all according to Brian of course. He showed me text messages from that guy, they were still flocking in. The guy was threatening Brian, telling him that he knows where he works, he was going to send his homies there, he was going to post pictures of Brian all over town blah blah blah. It was serious sht. That immediately proved to me that the guy was running away from something. That explained the less than an hour from booking to check in time record!

Brian had bruises on his arm from the physical altercation with the guy. He told me that he didn't fight the guy back, he looks up to that guy as an older brother, he didn't want to fight his older brother. You have to admit he had a good defense situation, if he were to go to court. At the same time, I'm thinking, again, airbnb! What the heck! Brian asked me about my airbnb experiences, I told him a  little about my previous lady, and I use the term lady loosely. I showed Brian around, his closet, his medicine cabinet, etc. He had somewhere to be that evening, he asked if it's ok if he's back home in the middle of the night. He worked in a restaurant, so  it was understandable. At least, he worked, shoot!

I was relieved to have found a tenant but slightly concerned about how he got here. Not the Uber part of it, but the circumstances that led him to moving out of his previous place. I went to bed hopeful that night that his people wouldn't follow him home one night, or his people's homies.

After a few days with Brian as a guest, he would leave first thing in the morning, I wouldn't even see him, and be back in the middle of the night. I practically never saw him. Which was perfect for me. He's good to look at but I wasn't trying to look at any of my tenants that way. It was time for me to head on vacation to San Francisco. I packed my carry on suitcase and headed out. Not before I went to the 99 cents and bought a few snacks for the road and stuff I could still use in the hostel. You know me, I can be frugal!

I took the bus from Wilshire to the purple line (subway) on Wilshire, got on the subway. There were two other people in our carriage. One of them was a nice man, we chatted all the way until he got off. He was originally from the Bay Area, which was a nice coincidence to bump into someone from where I was headed. I got off in Union station and headed to Megabus station. That's my favorite bus because it only cost me $5 (R70) or so to go to San Francisco, this is an 8 hour trip by bus. Cheap in any currency! The ticket back was $10 (R140), still cheap. Normally, it costs way more but I got lucky. It can cost as much as $60. I had the seat to myself. It was kinda cold that night, I had warm clothes handy because I had done some research and had heard that it gets quite in SF. I slept on the bus knowing that I had a busy day ahead of me as soon as we touched base in San Fran.

I woke up once or twice on the way. I remember waking up in Oakland, hoping no one was going to sit next to me. You know how it is on the bus. All you can do is hope! I refuse to pay extra for the special seats too, like the front ones etc. That's just ridiculous! I'm not paying first to be first to fly out the bus in case of emergency! From Oakland, we drove on this amazing, long bridge, that seemed like a dream. not too long thereafter we were in San Francisco. It was 3am!

What am I going to do now?

The Prophet

Acting gigs were coming but slowly. I still needed someone to stay at mine for a week or two per month, that way I could still have half a month of freedom.

After Jen left, I had the week to myself. During that week, I decided to take a vacation in San Francisco. It's in my to do list. I got up early in the morning, went online and looked up tickets to San Francisco and Vegas, just in case those were cheaper. I really wanted to go to San Fran though because I hadn't been.I got out of bed and just as I was about to head t the kitchen to do my morning routine: green tea, cereal, etc there was a background gig/extra's gig notification on my email. The gig was in San Francisco!I was like, this is definitely a sign, we're going to San Francisco! I submitted my name for that gig, thinking that I would vacation and then spare one day for that gig, thereby making money while vacationing. It wasn't paying half bad!

I went on Couchsurfing and surfed for a host for me in San Fran. That was going to be my first time staying in someone's house through couchsurfing. I found a kind host an hour away from Downtown San Fran. As soon as he wrote me, I had a weird feeling. I had an urge to just cancel on him. That wasn't because I thought he was creepy or anything. He seemed like a nice hippy who wanted to spread love and peace. My kind of person! He told me that San Fran was an hour away by bus. I took his word for it and proceeded with my panning. I had never been to San Francisco Bay area, so I had too do a lot of research of things to do.

A few weeks before I decided to go to San Francisco, I worked on a Pharrell Williams Music video for the song Freedom. Cool song! There, I met an old man who, according to a girl I have worked on a few shoots with, is a prophet. The man told me that I love to travel, I can't stay in one place too long, I move around a lot... you know, basic things about myself. He told me that I will meet a lot of people who are good pianists. I had just had Dot stay at my place, she told me she had been playing since she was five and she had had a record deal with a big label. Unfortunately, I couldn't prove any of that. I mentioned that to that old man. He told me that I will become a successful musician, whether I believe I can sing or not. I thought it was interesting that he added the latter part. He asked if I had recently been proposed to, to which, I said, I wish! He told me that  I would either get married or be engaged within a year. I was like, really? Tell me more? Will he be tall? Will he have blue eyes? I was so caught up in the moment, I was jumping up and down! My friend was like, WILL YOU LET THE MAN TALK? The man told me, 'of course he will be tall! He has to be tall, otherwise you will not be attracted to him. He will be taller than 6ft - maybe 6 ft2. I was getting excited! I don't even believe in this type of stuff but when someone tells you something you want .... need to hear, they grasp you undivided attention.. He told me that the man I will marry will be musically inclined. I asked if he will be a cameraman. You know I have this obsession with cameramen. They are so hot when they have that camera equipment on, like, the vest that goes with the steady cam. Look it up and tell me what you think!

The man told me that my music career will flourish in San Francisco, to consider moving there. He told me that I have a gift of having people trust and believe me, and that I will go on to be a pastor. When I heard that, I burst out laughing. I have heard many things about myself but nobody told me I would be a pastor. Wow! Just when I thought I've heard it all! I can't think of anything else he told me. Oh wait! I asked to take a picture with him. He obliges, he asked if he could tell me one last thing before the picture. I told him to feel free. He told me that I have the ability to turn people on without trying, men and women. Hahahahaha! Then he put his hand around me to pose for the picture and whispered to me that he wished he were 6ft2, so he could take me home because I was turning him on already. Hahahaha! Dirty old man!

I had a feeling that there was something about San Francisco. I thought that maybe I would meet someone there or after my trip, I don't know. I don't know if the seed was planted by the dirty prophet or it was pure coincidence.

I booked my ticket to San Francisco and politely declined the offer of the couchsurfing host. It was going to take me an hour and a half or so by bus to his place from Downtown SFB, I wasn't willing to spend three or more hours on the road every day on commute. Plus, bus fare was more or less the same as renting a bed in a hostel. I opted for staying downtown in a hostel. My kind of gig anyways. I booked for a few nights. I was going to take the bus overnight so that I was there in the crack of dawn and would have the entire first day to do whatever I wanted to do, spend a few days in SFB and leave in the evening. That way, I didn't waste daylight traveling. I never do!

Unfortunately, I didn't book the job in San Fran. It was a marathon scene for Nike commercial and they needed people who look like marathon runners. Oops! That didn't bother me. My mind was sent on my vacation and nothing was going to put me down.

There is a man that I had talked to in 2012 while I lived with Perry in San Diego, if you still remember him. REmember I still stayed there after he broke up with me? Anyway, I started talking to this man on the same dating site that I met Perry cos I renewed my membership when Perry dumped me. The man was from San Francisco, he seemed nice enough but too busy to be consistent with it. I wasn't trying to be in a long distance anything anyway, so  I would respond whenever he emailed me. We lost touch for about a year and I heard from him again last year, while living in Las Vegas. He asked to exchanged pictures etc. I thought nothing of it but just did as asked. He sent me his pictures, he has beautiful skin and very blue eyes. I wasn't trying to be in a relationship with him still though. When he emailed me again just as  I was planning to go to SF, I told him he must be clairvoyant! He was excited to hear that we stood a chance to finally meet. I was looking forward to it as well. Just a lunch or drinks or something with someone I had been talking to for almost three years. He sent me a link to an article about him. It was a newspaper article on how he single-handedly  turned San Francisco metre taxis or cabs green. San Fran is now the number one greenest cab city in the US, beating even New York. It was an interesting article and very impressive that someone could be that driven. I really was looking forward to meeting up with him.

He told me to let him know when I was in town.

My ticket was booked a few weeks before my actual departure date. During that time, I had someone show interest in staying at my place. His name, we shall call, Brian. He wanted to stay for a week. I thought that was great. I was planning on leaving that week, but that didn't deter me. It was nice to know that while I was paying to stay somewhere, someone was going to be paying to stay at my place. Winning!

Racist Much?

Day 2 with my AirBnB Guest Jen: Same old, same old... long story about her black ex girlfriend who broke her heart. In case you're wondering, here's a reader's digest version of the story according to Jen: Jen - 44 at the time, met 21 year old college girl, fell in love. Apparently, the girl hit on Jen and they hit it off. Things went great, they moved in together. The girl was modeling or aspiring to be a model and was in film school. Jen was paying the bills. Somewhere, somehow Jen lost her source of income. Things went south fast! They had roommates, the ex teamed up against Jen and kicked Jen out. Jen became homeless and girlfriendless.

She talked about that girl and how she broke her heart and stole her friends and whatnot the entire time she was here. On Day 2, we're sitting at the dining table eating lunch. Jen was talking: surprise! At one point, I recorded her and sent the clip to my sister. My sister was like, 'you're in trouble! She is taking her time talking and it seems like she has no intentions of stopping anytime soon!' My sister was right. Anyway, during lunch, Jen told me how on their second date, she had the ex go over to her house. I was like, aaahhhh, to 'watch Netflix' in bed, right? Isn't that third date material? She told me that that was not why she had her over, they didn't even 'watch Netflix' (aka Have sex) that day. She just had her over because she was so beautiful for her to look at and she wanted to have her all to herself to look at her. Like, who says that? Like in real life? Anyway. Jen did tell me at some point that one day, she was having a discussion with two folks; three of the most intelligent people in The US: one of them being her. Like, she totally told me that! What in the world! If you're that intelligent, why is you homeless, boo? Anyways, she went on to tell me that she thought it was funny that she made fried chicken and watermelon for her black girlfriend when she had her over at her house on their second birthday.

Ok! I'm pretty open minded, I accept people for who they are, then I talk about them on my blog but that was too out there, even for me! I don't let stuff like that hurt my feelings. Someone making racist remarks hoping that they are going to hurt my feelings has another thing coming. I am not that girl who will be like, omg, blah blah blah, take off my earrings, my heels and my wig and go all Jerry Springer on them. I am just not that girl. I don't want to want to have the energy for that but, when you do that, it shows me what kind of person I'm dealing with. It just exposes you for who you really are; an ignorant person and I ain't got time for such people in my life. When Jen said that, my feelings were not hurt but I thought she had some nerve, talking like that in my own home while I was bending over backwards trying to make her feel welcome here.

I didn't comment to the fried chicken and water melon part of the story even though it was the punch line. It was distasteful. Black people and watermelon being racist apparently stems back from the slavery years and fried chicken stems back from the early 1900's. I was not around for any of that but people know, especially in America that it's a touchy subject. Don't stay in a black person's house and within 48 hours make a joke about feeding a black person fried chicken and watermelon and expect the black host to roll on the floor laughing at that ridiculousness. That's just silly. No wonder your ignorant ass got milked dry and thrown to the curb by that black girl. She probably was fed up of your silliness.

When I didn't react to the racist joke, Jen was like, Brook! You don't think that was funny? I thought that was funny. I was like ha! Ha! Ha! Got up and walked away.

This was just before Gay pride. Jen told me that she wanted to go to Pride for the first time since that girl left her, all her stories have something to do with that girl. It will drive you up the freaking wall! She didn't know what she was gonna do because she had gained so much weight since the last time she saw everyone. People think this and that, so and so thinks this of her blah. I would tell her, but you don't know what people think. You're always telling me what so and so thinks of you but you don't know, you can't know what someone thinks unless they tell you. Anyway, after the watermelon, I lost all interest in faking to stand her.

She could tell too, because there was thick tension all around the house. I think she was hoping I would accompany her to Pride. I was never going to go anywhere with her racist or not. We're not friends, get your own life. You're 46, come on now!

Jen went to Gay Pride in West Hollywood the following day. That was the first time I was alone at home since she had moved in. By the way, the night she was sitting on the massage chair, while we were laughing and happy, I asked her when last she had taken a shower. She told me that it had been about three days but she had been wearing those clothes for about two to three weeks. I recommended a shower and change of -clothes. Remember she had asked for my guidance hygiene-wise? Well...! She thanked me and jumped straight into the shower.

She came home seemingly more depressed than when she went to Pride. I didn't care. I was hoping that her being so depressed meant, she was going to be quiet for a change. I missed my serenity. She went to the kitchen, by the way, after grocery shopping the other day, she asked me which half of the kitchen was hers. I thought that was rather self entitled from a guest who is renting the couch for a week. Half of my kitchen? You've seen my kitchen, it's gigantic. I don't know why someone who is here for 7 days can expect half of my house. We're not roommates, even if we were, if you're renting form me and not the landlord, you take what I offer you. If you're not ok with it, don't stay here. It's that simple! I gave her a couple cupboards I don't use. and half of the fridge, she seemed to need it. I was glad she wasn't going to eat my freaking food.

After the night I had offered her seconds of dinner and she dished up for herself, she asked if I had a pot. I told her yes, I do, remember you helped yourself from my seconds from the pot? That was a pot! She asked me if she can use it on the stove, could she boil water in it? I was like, 'is that a real question?' She flipped! Don't you patronise me and ask if that's a real question, blah. I was like, you might wanna lower your voice. Nobody talks that loud here. She went on and on. I walked away. I could hear her chopping veggies diretly on the counter top. I came out and asked her not to do that, to put something underneath. She knows she did that out of spite. I told her that I was not going to lose my deposit because I had someone stay here for a week and mess everything up for me. She flipped even more, first of all, for someone who has a treadmill and a massage chair, you don't even have a chopping board. You need to get a chopping board. I told her that  I have one, I went on to show it to her again because she had asked about it before and I told her that there is one that came with the apartment. You know the wooden one that's like a drawer, that you pull out? I told her that I personally don't use it. I had a plastic one but couldn't find it amongst my things that I had left it at Chris'. I was intending to buy another one. I went to the store with her, not in Santa Monica, a different day, in my car and I forgot. I went on to tell her that if she so desperately needed a chopping board, no one was standing in her way, she could have bought it, there are plenty of store in Los Angeles. She could use the one I had or buy herself one. She mustn't come to my house and tell me what I need. I have everything I need and if I needed something new, I would buy it in my own time. She told me that I need more kitchen supplies. This is a girl who brought a full on coffee machine to stay in a house for a week and made my entire house smell like coffee every single morning. What if I couldn't stand the smell? Luckily, I love the smell of coffee.

She had told me that where she was staying before she moved in with me, she was there for a week, she told the guy just like she did me, that she was considering renewing and staying longer once the week was up. Apparently the guy had agreed but when the week was up, she tried to rebook and the guy told her he had found someone else and asked her to move out. Basically, he couldn't stand her ass. I don't blame her. You have to wonder about people who tell you a series of stories about being kicked out of people's homes and her own. She told me that she was one of the first AirBnB members, in fact, Airbnb copied that idea from her. She told me she used to sublet apartments and have people from all over the world stay at them. Her business was doing so well, people got jealous and reported her to the management or something like that. That's how she lost her main source of income and her girlfriend. But Airbnb copied her idea and the design of her website blah. I asked her why she didn't sue them. I mean, I didn't believe her, but as long as we were talking, I just went with it. She told me she didn't have time for a law suit. Whatever, and yet you have time to tell me to buy appliances I don't need in my own home. The phuck outta here!

That night, I could feel myself getting worked up, my chest was closing in. She was yelling and screaming in my kitchen. I didn't need that kind of energy here. I told her that if she wanted more than she could get for the amount she was paying in this neighborhood, she was more than welcome to go to the Beverly Hills Hotels, $600 and up per night, go ahead! I dare you! I told her that I would even refund her the rest of the money for the time she hadn't stayed here. She told me that I knew she couldn't afford that much in rent but I need to be open to constructive criticism. I just told her, this conversation is over. She told me, no it isn't. I walked away saying, I understand you have a lot you would like to get out of your chest, go ahead and do that, but I'm done! I took my phone with me, called airbnb and told them to get that woman out of my home. She was my first airbnb guest, I wanted to even cancel my membership. I had much better luck with people from Craig's list. The guy was so nice, he listened to me and let me vent as much as I needed, then he told me that if they had her move out, I would have to refund her for the time she stayed here as well. I told him I was not down for that. I went through a lot having that woman in my house, I deserved more than what she paid me even! The guy told me to try and stay out of the woman's way and see if I could suck it up for the rest of her stay, if not,to call him back and he would see what to do.

I came back home, went straight to bed. I never talked to that girl until she moved out. My guess is, things went south at gay pride, she took it all out on me.

When it was time to move out, she checked out at 07:00. She left the key on the table and didn't say a word. I got up, opened up all the windows and doors, sprayed air freshener, sprinkled carpet freshener all over the living room, hallway and the couch she was sleeping on to suck out her stench out of my house and danced around naked!

Personal Assistant

After dinner, My new Airbnb Guest, Jen, washed her dish, which I thought was nice.

I finally went to bed, I never eat that late. Heck, I'm never up that late! The following morning, I didn't have any work lined up. I waited until I thought Jen was up and went to use the kitchen. I didn't offer her anything other than a banana. I didn't want her to pass out but at the same time. I am not going to feed you. You don't pay me enough!

As soon as I walked into the living room, to get to the kitchen, Jen started talking. She went on and on and on about her problems, how depressing her life is, how nobody understands her yada yada yada ya-! I just wanted to make myself a cup of green tea and cereal. That's all! I sat at the dinning table and had my cereal while she was watching something on Netflix... well, not really. She was just talking and playing with her hair, pulling out knots and putting them on the coffee table. Yuck! not to self, clean this up thoroughly when she leaves!

Jen mentioned that she needed to finally face her fears and go to the post office. They have mail of hers that she didn't have the courage to pick up for months. She asked what my plans were for the day. I didn't have any. She asked if I would mind to open up her mail for her and read it first, you know, like screen it for her. I told her I didn't mind. I didn't have plans for the day, I had never done such a thing in my life and don't foresee someone else ever making such a request to me in the future, so, I was down! Check that off my list!

After breakfast, I asked Jen if she wanted to shower first while I tidied up my bedroom. She told me that she's on school break, she didn't have to shower on schedule, she would shower on our return. Okay! I took a shower and got ready. She complimented me on my body spray. Some fun adidas spray, my ex, Charlie from Vegas, bought for me. Jen also asked me to help her with feminine hygiene stuff. She told me that she thought there was a reason she and I were paired up. She loved how clean my house was and how I seemed like a lady. She asked me to help her out be that way in the week she was going to live with me. I told her that I would do what I could. She mentioned something about black people being neater than white folks. Jen had always used race to differentiate between people. Like, she won't say, my boyfriend from Vegas (of course not, she was into girls!), she would say, my white boyfriend from Vegas. That made me feel weird.

She told me that her ex girlfriend. The one who broke her heart. The first time they took a shower together, Jen was done in a couple of minutes. The black ex-girlfriend, who had hardly begun, asked Jen how she could be done already and told her to start over. Jen told the black ex what she meant by that. The black ex (lol by the way, she doesn't have any other ex), told her to shower the way her mama taught her. Jen told the ex that her mom never taught anything, she was raised by her 12/13 year old sister. I didn't even want to ask about that. It seemed to me that was another can of worms. I didn't want to spend another day unproductive at home, listening to my new guest's sad stories. She told me that story to tell me that, she deduced from that that black folks are cleaner than white. Of course, I don't agree with that! Nor do I disagree! I know white people who shower three times a day, and black people who do the same. Who cares? Does she work for the Stats department of America? Give me a break!

She asked me to spray some of my spray on her because she didn't own one and hadn't done laundry in a while. I asked her if she wanted to go to the store on our way to Santa Monica. I knew of a dirt cheap store five minutes from my place. She could get an outfit for less than $10 to wear until she did her laundry that afternoon. She thought that was a good idea and thanked me for it.

On our way to Santa M, we passed the street mall with the cheap store. I reminded her about the outfit, she shot right past it telling me that she would buy clothes on our way back home. Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?

We left for the post office in Santa Monica. About 20 minutes drive from my place. First, we walked towards the car, I can't guess which one hers is in the street, because, you never know. Let me tell you! Jen drives one of my favorite cars! A Jeep Wrangler! Convertible, she had the oft top up. I was so excited to find out we were about to roll in THAT! I told her how much I love that car. She drove to Santa Monica, we picked up her mail from some tiny spot that could be anything. Apparently, they do postal services and other businesses.

From there, we stopped by a salon where she had her eyebrows threaded. She asked if I wanted to get mine done too! Nah, thanks, I'm not trying to spend money on threading eyebrows while I smell like a skunk. I'd rather take free showers and tweeze my own eyebrows. That didn't take long, then we went to Von's. Jen needed to do grocery shopping. That was a fun experience. It was around lunch time. I was hungry. I bought their delicious fried chicken and munched on that while Jen was still shopping. I could see she wanted me to thank her from the bottom of her heart for taking me to the store. She kept mentioning how wasn't it a good thing she took me there? I was like, I mean, it's up to you how you wanna look at it. You needed someone to come with you to run your errands, I was free, so I did you that favor. Like, btch, are you really implying you're doing ME a favor right now? Do I look like I desperately needed to be in an enclosed space with your smelly ass? Come on now! (All thoughts in my head)

We then headed home. Our way home, passed the store again, for fun, I brought it up. I already knew by then that that lady wasn't trying to buy a new outfit or shower, or do anything anybody told her. She told me, "I'm starving! I'm just trying to get home to eat right now!" She told me that she would go to the store after lunch. I rolled my eyes in my head.

Jen's Vegetarian. She bought a lot of vegetables. Really healthy stuff, colorful groceries. She's very clean when she prepares food too. Believe it or not. She washes everything and rinses her plates before and after she eats. I'll post a picture of Jen's typical meal when the computer decides to work with me. I just tried. The whole thing froze. Nice and colorful plate with all kinds of vegetables.

While sitting at the table, eating lunch, Jen was going on and on about her black ex girlfriend, as usual. Jen used to refer to herself as a Chicana. I had never heard of that term until then. Chicana or Xicana, I believe is an American Mexican. She's half Latina (Mexican), half White.

I would have spent the rest of my day listening to Jen's story until I passed out or went blue in the face. I thought of an exit strategy. I let her talk, as I was commenting to something she was saying, I walked away and kept talking louder, went to the bathroom, then straight to the bedroom, where I closed the door behind me. Good Lord!

That evening, while cooking dinner, I sat on the massage chair and got me one. Of course, Jen used that opportunity to tell me  her story about the girl who broke her heart. I feel like she was making me pay for what my black sister did to her!

I offered Jen a massage on the chair. I thought that would relax her a little bit. I doubt it work but I didn't stick around to watch. I went to my bedroom and didn't come out until the following day.

By the way, we did go through the mail. I didn't see anything earth shattering. One of the letters was a subpoena to court. I warned her about it but she was curious, so she made me read it. It seems to me Jen just wanted a personal assistant to read her mail to her.

What Did I Get Myself Into?

The lady who had booked my space on AirBnB seemed decent enough. She was a ski instructor, and a full time student. I don't care what she does for a living, as long as she has business outside the house. I didn't want to be stuck in the apartment with someone I don't know. I didn't want that for them either, for that matter.

She asked me a few questions about the apartment and confirmed the booking. I was excited that my airbnb cherry was about to be popped. Luckily, I was going to be home the day of her arrival. The house was clean, as usual, the spare linen as smelling fresh, good to go! She called me when she was outside to tell me she was here. I went outside to get her. Had she not have been the only person standing out front, I never would have guessed that was the same person as on the pictures on airbnb. The thing about airbnb, if you're not familiar with them, is that, you don't get the luxury of meeting your future guest. It's like a blind date. Only, you date is moving in, and you can't kick them out for false advertising because they have already paid. 

I walked towards this lady who had tight fitting sweat bands with giant holes on the insides and black cycling shorts underneath, or spanx. My concern was who wears clothing with holes in America, where there's so much free stuff everywhere? That was quite the first impression! 'Hi, I'm Brook!' She looked at me like I was from another planet. I know I look like my pictures, she better not even go there! As she reached out her hand to shake it, I caught a whiff of the worst odor I have ever smelt. I was like, oh heeeelll no! Not in my clean, nice smelling house! I consoled myself by thinking that she will cove the couch up with sheets. 

I walked in before her, as I always do, so that they can see me take off my shoes. I asked her to take off hers. She asked if she could wear flip-flops. I asked if she wears them outside or were they inside shoes. She told me they were regular flip fops, that she wore outside. I wanted to roll my eyes because that defeated the whole purpose. Usually people respect your wishes if you want them to walk barefoot indoors. It's a very clean floor. I, naturally would want to walk barefoot, just because it's cleaner than most shoes' insides. But that's just me. Anyway. She took off her sneakers and walked around in her socks. She just didn't want to do as she was told, it seems to me. Which is fine, I wasn't looking for someone to throw orders at.  

I offered her, let's call her Jen, something to drink, we sat in the living room and chatted. Just to get to know each other a little. She actually seemed cool, once we got talking. She has very long, curly hair, she played with her curls  the entire time we were talking. I would too, if I hair, her hair is beautiful.

Between The really nice Math teacher and Jen, I went shopping for a massage chair.. I had been looking for one since I moved into my place. I think it was the pressure on my body from sleeping on the floor . I wanted an amazing massage chair, a beautiful one, that did the whole body and feet, if possible. I wasn't willing to spend a ton of money on one though. I talked to friends who new people who knew pleope in the business, to no avail. It's always better, for me, if you get your stuff, with no connections anyways, that way, you don't owe people favors. That's just my way of thinking! 

I searched eBay and saw a cool Panasonic massage chair, it was leather and in good condition. It offered shiatsu/deep tissue massage, which is just what I needed. I am all for strong, deep tissue massage. I can give very hard massage too, only, I can't do it to my own back.

One morning, while looking, I think I emailed a friend a snap shot of the kind of massage chair I wanted and while he was figuring out how much it would cost me; He had told me that if I wanted a $6 000 chair, he could get me one for $600. To me, that meant, ok, that means I would pay ten percent of the original cost. I told him I saw one for $700, how much would that be? He told me, $350. My Math head didn't grasp that. What do you think? Anyway. I decided to make the picture I had sent him my screensaver, you know, vision board-like! I went on with my business. A few hours later, I wanted to be done with looking for a massage chair, I had so many things I needed to achieve, I went back online. Lo and behold, less than ten minutes from my house, there was someone selling a great leather massage chair. I called them, they picked up, I told them I was on my way. I got there super psyched, I negotiated - I wouldn't be me if I didn't! I got my discount, paid, they helped me load the chair and I was out! 

The massage chair. It also reclines

Back at my place, the chair was so heavy, I couldn't off load it by myself. I went to my Emmy award winning neighbor lol and asked him to help me off load it. He told me that he has a friend who had a stronger back than him who could help me with that the following day. Ugh! Eventually, the neighbor came to the car and helped me. The chair has wheels, but there were a lot of different levels on the ground that we couldn't roll it. I told the guy to come over for a massage some time. He told me he would keep that offer in mind. I got my massage chair! I cleaned it up and went to town! Best massage in forever! 

Back to Jen, she told me that she was so relieved that that was the last day of school. I thought to myself, heeellll no! You told me you go to school. To me, that means, you literally will be going to school while staying here. Turns out, not really! She also told me what seemed to be the story of her life; something about how because she was so focusing on school, she no longer had friends. Her friends tried to keep in touch, but she told them that she was sorry she couldn't be the friend they wanted her to be, she was going to school and wasn't going to be able to give any more of herself than she already had the duration of their friendship. I was sitting there thinking, what in the hell! I was like, were you that busy with school that you couldn't shoot a text to a friend every now and again?

She told me that the friendships were one sided anyways, those so called friends couldn't be there for her when she needed them the most when she was going through the worst time of her life. Oh Lord! Not another one! I don't have the time or energy for this! She went on and on about a girl who broke her heart, her first love blah blah blah. I listened because, it seemed like she needed to talk about that. In fact, it seemed like she needed a hug. From the smell to the tears in her clothes, it looked like she had neglected herself and her laundry for a while. 

Luckily, she told me that she needed to do laundry that very night. She wanted to wash her bedding. She preferred her own sheets, for whatever reason. That was ok with me, especially considering she was going to wash them. I was hoping she was going to wash the rest of her laundry and subsequently take a shower to reduce the stench. We ended up sitting on those couches until 11:00 pm! She arrived around 5pm!

I would ask her to pause her stories while I went to the bathroom. The first time, I got up, I was going to get something to drink from the kitchen. She stopped talking. I told her to continue. She was like,oh, sorry, I thought you were going to the bedroom. I was like, in the middle of your story? She told me that that happens a lot to her, people walk out on her a lot. Great!  I had my work cut out for me! I wasn't trying to get into some therapy session at all. I sat down with her to get a glimpse of who she is, that's it. I ended up sitting on that couch until my legs fell asleep. (got numb)

That night, I got up to heat up dinner, for myself. I don't share food with my guest, too much sharing causes complications. She didn't have any food with her, so I assumed she was going to be eating my food. She was already a very big problem. From the nice lady I had before, that was such an, omg what did I get myself into? She asked me where the nearest store was. My location is close to a lot of grocery stores, I told her which ones were close. She told me it was too late to cook, she wanted to go to Mc Donald's. I hadn't been to one since I moved in, as I was looking one up, I was just like, would you like some of my food, instead, just for tonight? She seemed grateful for the offer.

I had made some vegetable and bean soup. I set the table, she finished before me and paid me huge compliments. I told her she could dish up seconds if she wanted. I didn't think she was actually going to take me up on that. You know when you're new some place? You don't want to be that person, who is full on? Well,I think she was thinking to herself, 'I thought you'd never ask!'  she charged for that stove and dished up more food than the actual serving I dished up for her as seconds. Wow, this chick