Friday, April 24, 2020

I Can't Tell If You Like Me?

After successfully pulling off two dates with a guy and not kissing him on either, well, one was a non date. Read about that here; I was back on the saddle, as if I never fell off! One night, I was booked on a show in Hollywood. As per usual, no cellphones allowed. I always just left my phone in the car when going to a TV show, unless specifically stated to bring cellphones. This one was in the evening. I drove opposite direction of traffic during rush hour, but my main concern was parking, as people would've been back home from work. Central Hollywood is unpredictable, in that, some people live there and some people only work there. You can't really tell what the best time to be there will be for you to find parking. I can talk about parking in Los Angeles for blogs and blogs, but let's reel it back in! I walked about a half a mile to the studio from where I had parked my car. It turned out to be a comedy show, Loni Love from The Real was there. I met a nice guy in the line who was reading a book. We ended up chatting in that long ass wait. He, another girl and myself. The other girl had some great bad date stories! She was catfished by a super short guy (not that there's anything wrong with being short but hers had lied about his height) and the guy made her pay for the meal! Forgot his wallet or something classic like that! She was stunning, this woman. I hope she's since found what she was looking for and is happy. After the show, this was in the wee hours of the morning as this was a pilot taping, pilots (first episodes) take forever to tape as the team is still figuring things out. I walked back to my car... well, kinda, I couldn't find my car!

I looked and looked and looked! I was too tired to be stressed but needed to get home as I had an early call of a commercial I was booked for later that morning. It was going to pay well, I didn't want to miss it. The plan was to go home and take a cat nap, wake up and do it all over again. I was circling the same block as I knew that's the vicinity in which I left my car. I lived in different locations in  Hollywood and have worked there for years. I know it like the back of my hand! Well, I guess not! Maybe like the front of my hand! Turns out, I had parked in those small streets where you can only enter and exit from one hole. I finally found it, went straight to my phone and found several missed calls, texts and emails from the agency that had booked me for the next job. I had sent them a courtesy email before I went to the previous show, telling them that I wasn't going to be accessible that night but I was still going to the shoot the following day. They emailed me from the same email address I had emailed them to and told me that because they couldn't get hold of me, they were replacing me. To please not show up for the shoot. That stung a little. But I am learning to watch my immediate reaction to when things don't go 'my way'. As it's whatever! Whether you're upset or not, it is what it is, might as well have a positive reaction, that way, you will attract more positivity into your life.

I drove home, parked the car and told myself, at least, I was going to have time to rest peacefully after working all night. I get to bed and check my messages online. Some guy had sent me a message. Should I respond? Shouldn't I? Should I, Shouldn't I? 
Why wasn't so sure about this guy? Honestly? Not my regular type! He seemed normal. Maybe too normal. Normal guy, normal looks, normal job = manager (he posted this on his profile), normal photos, half card with a white t-shirt on and full pic with formal wear. Everything, was normal! I looked at his profile a couple of times and decided to go to bed. Long day anyways. This is morning. That evening, I decided to reply. I had to get over the fact that I went out of my way to mail gifts to Martin in Ohio, after giving him more stuff in person; got notification that he received the package and he didn't even have the decency to text me a lousy THANKS. Or even 'tx'. For a moment, I was like, should I not have sent these things? I already had weird vibes about the whole deal, having been in Ohio and all. But I know I did the right thing because I had kind of mentioned them to him. It'd have made me not a true teller no to have given him the stuff. This is the reason I don't make promises. You have to deliver! Every time! Like it or not! In my humble opinion. I mailed my sht to a guy with whom things didn't work out, because I had made a promise! That's why I can't stand people who make promises!

Well call normal guy Derrick. Hopefully, that's a normal enough name for him. He replied immediately. I messaged back, back and forth and back and forth. Nothing fancy, just the usual basic information exchange. He likes the outdoors, sent me a photo of his trailer/caravan. It's a big one with two bedrooms, one of the rooms fits a queen size bed. That was exciting to me for some reason. He usually goes to ATVing in the sand dunes with his friends, this, that, the other. At some point, we had a weird moment, where he thought I was implying he was racist. WHAT? He tried to explain himself. That's when he got eye-roll emojis. I may have come across as though I was complaining about something, I got a violin emoji. I was like, you know what? We like this guy? He's brave. He was saying some sarcastic sht and coming across as intelligent and hella funny. I am here for all that! It was a Tuesday. He asked if I wanted to meet up that Thursday. I had to double check my calendar cos nobody had every asked to meet up that soon..... Or have they? Ohhhhhhh shhiiiiiiittttt! How can I forget that guy! OK, buckle up, loves! Here we it goes!
Sht! Where do I even begin? We won't even talk about the guy who worked at the airport, who wanted to meet up. I asked to facetime, cos in his photos, he looked like he may have a situation going on or something. Plus, ALWAYS VIDEO CALL someone you met on the internet before meeting them up in person! He called and had really strange facial gestures, at odd times. It wouldn't have been a match. So, we won't go into more detail about this one. This other one, I wanna tell you about, well, I don't want to, but for as long as we're talking..... lived in South LA, he worked in the film industry, sounded exciting from his profile. He was supposedly well traveled, he had the photos to prove it, however, dude was in film, so, those photos may prove anything at this point! For example, that he's a good editor. Right? But I believed him. Why not?

Filmmaker and I exchanged only a couple of messages one morning. He told me that he was about to head out to view some houses as he was house shopping. That was an eyeroll worthy moment for me. He asked if I wanted to go along. I thought, wow! Intense first date! I politely declined. Like, I'm not spending all day in your car with you while you figure out how and at what point to murder me! Because he was about to drive, we talked on the phone for a bit, cos he couldn't text. He sounded OK. Upbeat. He asked to meet up that very night. Because my profile may have mentioned me liking to try new things, especially foods. Guy asked if I wanted to go to a Polish restaurant halfway between his house and mine. Sure! Normally, it would've been a turn off when someone is trying to not be convenienced. Why? Because chivalry! I'm kinda old fashioned when it comes to these things. In case you didn't know. I decided to be a good spot, plus the place was less than 20 minutes drive from my house. I got ready as Film was driving there and made him wait for me in the restaurant. Not intentionally. The place was going to close within the hour of my arrival, so that was into be taken into consideration as well. Could've been a good thing. Or not. Depending on how the date was going. Luckily, my car had gotten a wash that day. I felt good about that. I showed up looking and feeling fly. He was driving a nice convertible car. He came out to meet me. Super tall! I knew he was going to be tall, according to his profile, so I wore my highest heel, and he was still tall! I had a net stitched top, which pretty much revealed everything. I didn't care, cos I was feeling skinny and you know how hard I work on that. Problem? Suck it!

110 LBS weight loss. Click play!

Dude comes out the restaurant, sweating a bit. Maybe it's hot in there or his nervous? Dunno, but can we social distance please? Haha! 6ft! He had already chosen a seat for us in a corner table. We were the only patrons! The restaurant mood was very Eastern Europe. Duh! Lady came to take out order. Me: Water, no ice please! I always ask for this, cos I like room temperature water. Half the time, they bring me water with ice and even a lemon. I take it. It's not the end of the world. Plus, it's free. He ordered like a Coke or something. They also had their own Polish drinks. Food time! I went over the menu...maybe too slow for his liking? Not sure, but he ordered for the table. Meaning, for both of us. I was kinda taken aback by that. I don't recall a time someone ever ordered for me. Thanks for popping my cherry, in that regard, chap! He did a decent job with the order. Our table was packed with options. I will do picture blogs later on, for now, just trying to catch you up. There's so much to say. Also, I realized I haven't posted anything in May and it's the last day of the month! I had a little bit of everything. He tried to take over and dish out for me, I was like, it's fine! That's enough! So overwhelming! I feel claustrophobic just thinking about it! Small table, large guy, not fat, just big guy, and being in a corner with a stranger and his hands are all over this small table. There's no space where I feel like, this is my area. It's like, Gosh! And he's sweating even more now. Anyway, they quickly closed. He suggested we go elsewhere for drinks. I'm not a drinker, but, maybe a water no ice? I followed him to a hookah lounge. Sounded like an OK idea. This place was only a few blocks away from the restaurant. 

I squeezed my car into a spot, walked inside and sat in a dimly lit area. Conversation almost immediately went from 0 to 59.9. He was telling me his intentions. He told me that he's normally good about telling if a girl likes him and with me, he can't tell. I thought well, you are good! That's cos I don't! The guy's not bad looking, he has a nice car, looks like he has more money than a lot off people, I just wasn't feeling it. The sweat didn't help either. It's not just that cos I can sweat up a storm myself, but, when it ain't there, it ain't, friends! He tried holding my hand, this was before he told me he couldn't tell if I were into him. In fact, I think this was what prompted him to say that. He could tell I wasn't feeling it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist! I wasn't tryna lead nobody on either, so. I let him hold the hand but I wasn't holding his back. At some point, he hugged me and tried to come in for a kiss. There was no need for all these huge displays of affection. We did just meet a couple of hours ago, and only started talking that morning. He could've slowed down a bit. Turns out he was tired of being alone, he was actively looking to change that by trying to find someone he was going to move into this new home he was buying with, blah blah blah, claustrophobia!

I couldn't even imagine any of this. I just got out of the whole Ohio situation where he wanted me to not visit for a week, but to stay for several weeks. Or move in permanently. What is going on? I was like, hey, it's past my bedtime..... We walked to our cars. Hugs, he actually lifted me all the way up. Which feel extra nice when you're a girl who just lost more than a hundred pounds. It's like proof that you're portable now!

Home. Bed. Bath first, gotta get all that sweat off! Wake up in the morning. I get a text from Film. We chat a bit. I was not ready to hear from him first thing in the morning. Something about his vibe is very push and overwhelming. Or is it me? He went on about all these plans he had for both of us and how excited he was, just like, gosh! I had to tell him I was happy to have met him but I didn't think he and I were a match. Oh my freaking gosh, you all! All I could see on my phone was ...typing... He went on and on about what is it about him that women don't want. He does his best and we still don't appreciate him. What can he change, he has blah and done blah, maybe blah blah, what if blah, what about bloody bloody blah. Ugh! I had to thank him, which him luck and block while he was still typing. Not before I told him in love as in life, you win some, you lose some. It's part of the deal. Like, in his forties, he doesn't need a stranger from Pasadena to tell him that. Come on now! With all that travelling you've done? It was quite something, I tell you!

I had to make sure I blocked him off of everything. Also, for the record, old fashioned as I am, I'm not against giving someone a refund for a meal he paid for me. I don't eat like a pig when I go on dates. And I always have my own money or card or something to take care of myself, should things go awry. I strongly recommend this. If he picks you up, have your cards and a fully charged cellphone, in order to be able to arrange transport back home, should he, for some reason not take you back home. Or you not wanna be in the car with him anymore.  I could've happily given this guy $6 for the few bites I had of the feast he ordered, no problems. Maybe even double. But he wanted love! He wanted happily ever after. This, we're not promised. Some of us may go to their graves not ever having experienced it. You can't beat it out of somebody either. That's life!

Now onto the normal guy......


  1. I don't understand why you don't like him? He seems to normal and wants a happy life.

  2. It's so interesting to know that I want to have a secured life general I would date such a person.

    1. For me, I don’t think it would’ve worked out. I like to still be able to be my own person, and not feel suffocated in a relationship.
      If I didn’t, I’d still be married to my ex.

  3. Andisadikwe nguwe coz u Mr film ngathi u right nje

    1. Oops! Sorry for late Response, Mayoli!
      Eish, You guys! Maybe the issue is with me after all. Which wouldn’t surprise me!