Saturday, September 25, 2021

Friends with NO benefits

Awesome! They have a gay safety and security manager! I thought to myself as he met me outside the training room. He ushered me in, dressed in nice fun colors. You could tell this was someone who cared about his appearance. In typical me fashion, we exchanged some personal stories; more me asking about himself, than sharing about mine. We’ll save my stories for the blog. I found out in our conversation ahem, safety training, that he used to be a truck driver as well. At some point, He said something about his wife. Stop the presses! I confessed that I was hoping that he was gay. I was like, I feel like I’m gonna like this guy. It’ll be nice to have a gay guy around here. He was like: really? I’m like, yeah, who doesn’t like a gay guy? I asked. He replied, without thinking twice: my mother! 

I’m not the Gaydar of the world, it was just a vibe I picked up before the guy even really talked to me. And then my mind stayed there throughout the conversation until I was told otherwise. Something about him telling me that his mom, who’s from the South, would have a problem with him being gay, made me really believe that he probably was gay. It also made me sad for him, if in fact he was. The guys is around 60 in age. To think that someone had to hide who is he all his life, would be such a tragedy. I saw him again the following day. First thought on my mind was: aw, there’s my new gay friend! Then I had to correct myself. That day, he gave me a t shirt and asked me to pose for photos with other drivers for company pictures. We posed next to company trucks with him as the director of photography. It was nice to do something so unusual. I did that back in the day when I worked for a weight loss company in South Africa. I worked in head office and as the only person who had reached my goal weight in that location, they always included me in things. I also got to tell my success story during events etc. Great fun! I since regained that weight and relost it! 

 All in all, Nice guy, I saw him every once in a while ever since. He would always ask how I was doing. 

I never heard back from my manager about the fridge. I wasn’t going to check back with her, because I already had the vibes she wasn't into helping me out. I did have to consult with her for another concern, however. I didn't like that I was starting off with these folks with so many demands but the situation they put me in with a truck that wasn't up to par, made me have to make all these requests. I also didn't want to make the impression that I was a pushover. No, mam, Sir! The truck I was getting didn't have curtains on the windshield. Those are the ones I prefer to use at night when I go to sleep. That way, you can walk around dressed however or not at all. But if you only have the ones right by the sleeper berth (sleeping area, if I need to go use the microwave in the driving area, I would have to dress appropriately because you never know who might be looking inside your truck. Some of these drivers carry binoculars. Some make a note of trucks with females, I have grown to experience

The T~Shirt from photoshoot & my new Volvo

The curtains in the sleeping area were torn, so they didn't do a good job of giving me privacy either. Girl! It was a shit show! I contacted manager and asked for curtains or something. I was hoping that the shop kept spares of these kinds of supplies, considering it's a trucking company, and all? (FYI, I later heard that they do). Manager told me, with a very pissed off expression on her face, that the company doesn't provide such supplies for drivers. It's up to us to get curtains for our trucks or not. Hilarious! The truck did come with curtains, but they were no longer there. So I call bullshit! She just wasn't in the mood for my basic necessity demands. I already knew that that was not going to be home for me, so to speak. How do you give me a condo without a  door and tell me, you're sorry you don't supply such? Are you fcking kidding me? There were three women ( I can't get myself to call any of them ladies) in the new department: one was my direct manager, the planner and their manager. Any of them would randomly call, they all sounded alike, had the same physique and pretty much shared the same brain. In my humble opinion. 

My job was to pick up a load in southern California and deliver it to Costcos across central and Northern California. I would do two or three deliveries every 2 days. After delivery 3, I would head back to base to reset my clock, so to speak. I got two days off every 8 days. It wasn't too shabby of a gig. I love being based in California. I love going to costco. They're so organized. The staff is great. I get to meet them and wait in the warehouse as someone is unloading my truck. Protocol. I didn't realize how many costcos there are in just California alone! I counted up to about 30 something different ones. Those are just the ones I went to.

First time off or so, I would hang out with Derrick. We're still not doing the deed. My choice. We were talking a lot. I am just not someone who can... uhm, how do I put this? I don't wanna say  I can't move on from things, cos that sounds bad. Put it this way, I could never be the woman who stays with their man after he cheated. I would never be able to forget that that happened. That guy would be so disgusting to me after that! Have I been in this situation before? Oh yeah! I come from a culture of polygamy and other things I don't consider cute. It's more abnormal for a guy to stay loyal to one woman than it is the other way. This is my opinion of dating in South Africa when I lived there. I left the country almost a decade ago. I had my own self esteem then, and would settle for certain situation that I wouldn't at this point in my life.  Granted, Derrick didn't cheat on me. My other reason for not wanting to be intimate with him now, is that what are we? We're not even together? I'm not trying to be friends with benefits with nobody! 

Please can I go to bed? I feel tired. I worked some and went grocery shopping. 

Chat soon, thanks for reading. #TruckerBrook on Insta


No comments: